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Video Information: 17.03.23, Delhi University (Online), Greater Noida

Context:
How to overcome fear of failure?
How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
~ How to overcome fear of failure?
~ How to understand the fear and how to get rid of it?
~ What are victory and defeat?
~ How to know real success?
~ How to face challenges in life?
~ How to be fearless?
~ Why do we fear failure?
~ How to overcome fear?

Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~~~

Category

📚
Learning
Transcript
00:00Please guide us on like how to overcome rejections or failures at a young age because when that
00:08happens to youngsters, they try to you know do things which are not good for them.
00:14It can include a lot of things like suicide, they get into depression, anxiety and stress
00:19like what is the like what they should do in that case because they are being rejected
00:23and fail again and again.
00:26See, what is it that you love playing?
00:40Any sports you are interested in?
00:41I love cricket.
00:42You love cricket.
00:43Tell me of something that you are just not interested in.
00:46I am not interested in basketball.
00:49And somebody just pushes you hard to become the top basketball player in the country and
01:06you prepare and train for six months just because you have been pushed to do all that,
01:16right?
01:19And then you go for the trials and selections and you are rejected there.
01:28Should you be depressed or should you celebrate?
01:39So in that case, I'll just try again.
01:42You will try again for something you have no heart in?
01:46I will try something that my heart goes into in the first place.
01:50So how do you deal with that rejection?
01:52You got into, you went to basketball trials.
01:57And you went to basketball trials just because let's say your family told you that it is
02:03a tradition in our family.
02:06We all have been basketball players.
02:09That's your grandpa.
02:11Look at the huge thing in his hand.
02:13That's supposed to be basketball.
02:16And that's your granny.
02:20She too was a basketball player, the top one in her village.
02:29So it's a tradition.
02:30You have to do it.
02:32So you go for it and you try for six months and then you get rejected.
02:39Apply your wits.
02:40Is it a matter of mourning or celebration?
02:52That's how you deal with rejections.
02:55You anyway never wanted those things.
03:03So many people write the UPSC.
03:05The fact is, they actually never wanted to clear it in the first place.
03:23When I was writing one of these exams, I do not remember which one, one of the All
03:29India exams, probably UPSC, UPSC Civil Services, I think my father, he said, right, the number
03:38of candidates that are appearing appears to be in several lakhs.
03:45But it's not against several lakhs you are competing.
03:50The number of seats that particular year had been drastically reduced to 200 or 300
03:58seats.
03:59That's all.
04:00The number of applicants was what, 5, 8, 10 lakhs, something.
04:06But then you are not competing with those many.
04:10For these 200 seats, you are competing with at most 2 to 4,000 students, applicants.
04:20Because the others are anyway appearing for namesake.
04:27They have filled up the form because their fathers wanted them to or because they had
04:33nothing else, nothing better to do in life.
04:38And everybody was all the time poking them, what are you doing, what are you busy with?
04:47So they filled up the form and now they can respectfully say, you know, I am a UPSC aspirant.
04:58If these people get rejected, why must they be depressed?
05:04You anyway never wanted it.
05:10It appears amusingly stupid to not to want something and then get depressed upon not
05:23getting it.
05:27Think of the situation.
05:29There is something that you never heartfully wanted.
05:34Had you heartfully wanted it, there is a great probability you would have obtained it.
05:42The fact is you were pushed into it or you just drifted into it.
05:48Knowing nothing else to do, you just drifted into it.
05:53Some unconscious type of desire pushed you towards a particular target or object.
06:06Your heart was never into it, your consciousness, your discretion was never into it.
06:13And that's the primary reason you don't get it.
06:16Obviously, there can be other reasons also.
06:21But the primary reason generally is that you never put your whole energy, your entire
06:28self into it because that was not something that you loved from your core.
06:43The kind of energy that is needed to uplift life can arise only from a loving core.
06:53In some sense, it is only love that can never be defeated or is very, very hard to defeat.
07:01That which you call as normal desire is so easy to defeat.
07:07You are desirous of one thing, the salesman displays something more attractive to you.
07:14What do you do?
07:16Your desire immediately flips or does it not?
07:22The same thing does not apply to love.
07:27Because love involves consciousness.
07:32You have chosen something after due discretion.
07:40You are going for something because you know that the thing is indispensable.
07:50It's not just random whim, fad, fetish.
07:57It's a thing of the heart.
07:59I know myself, I know what I need and I have to go after it.
08:05Now, who can stop me?
08:13Only your rejections are worth celebrating.
08:33Those were needless burdens, responsibilities put upon you by authoritarian and deceptive
08:48forces.
08:57Saint poet Kabir Das, there's a beautiful one from him.
09:12He's not getting depressed, he's celebrating.
09:16And if somebody else had put this pot on my head and entrusted me with the responsibility
09:25to daily fetch water from some far away well or tank or something.
09:33And my success was to be measured against my quickness in fetching the water and the
09:43fullness of the pot.
09:46That was supposed to be a determinant of how successful my life is, right?
09:52If I can quickly rush and fetch a lot of water and make multiple trips to that well,
09:57get a lot of water and do that quite rapidly, then I would be declared successful.
10:04But even if the world declares me successful because of all this pot business, does that
10:10fulfill my core?
10:12Does it?
10:14Does it?
10:16So one day that pot falls and breaks.
10:23And the poet sings, bhala hua, muri matki phuti.
10:28Great that I have now been defeated, ab hume paniya bharan se chhuti.
10:34This was an external imposition.
10:37This is not something I was doing out of love.
10:42An artificial duty had been imposed on me.
10:46You have to be successful this way.
10:48Great that now I have met defeat.
10:51Kindly relieve me, declare me a failure, tattoo it on my forehead and let me go.
11:02I am okay.
11:03Call me a defeat, call me a failure, call me a reject, call me whatever you want to,
11:14but spare me.
11:15Let me live freely.
11:23On the other hand, if your target is arising from your core, then it is the love for the
11:31target that keeps you going all your life.
11:37There can be no rejection because there is always a continuous attempt.
11:43So how can you be depressed?
11:48You want something so wholeheartedly that you will never stop trying for it, not tell
11:53me where is the rejection, tell me where is the final failure.
12:01And that's probably the only way to live, especially as a young person, to be in love.
12:10To do something only because it deserves to be done.
12:16And it's so lovely, so compelling, so beautiful that it becomes irresistible.
12:22You cannot not do it.
12:26You cannot not love it.
12:28Now tell me where is failure?
12:34So the problem does not lie in defeat or failure or rejection.
12:40The problem lies in the choice of the goal.
12:43Are you getting it?
12:46The question has to be where are your goals coming from?
12:52How did something become your goal?
12:55How have you started wanting something?
12:58How exactly does that happen?
13:02And the quality of your choice depends on the quality of your being, the quality of
13:08the chooser within.
13:10If you are inwardly asleep, then all your choices will arise from very nebulous, very
13:21vague kind of criteria.
13:24They would not be choices in the real sense of the word.
13:33They would be like the toss of a dice, a three could show up, one could show up, six
13:40could show up.
13:41Have you chosen?
13:42It's a blind toss.
13:44Anything can show up.
13:47You have not chosen something.
13:49Randomly stuff is happening with you.
13:54And in biological life, there is only randomness, just randomness.
14:04In conscious life, there is conscious choice arising from a single criteria.
14:14And that criteria is freedom.
14:20Randomness has no criteria.
14:21If there is some criteria, it can no more be called randomness.
14:27In internal life, there has to be a single criteria, a single criteria against which
14:33you determine your choices.
14:35What is that criteria?
14:37Freedom, betterment, liberation, growth.
14:41Is this making me better?
14:44Is this widening, deepening my consciousness?
14:48Am I learning something from this?
14:53Am I becoming more fearless out of this?
14:57That's what should determine the choice.
15:02And when your choices come from there, then you can take defeats in your stride.
15:09Then you say, fine, it's a lifelong journey.
15:16It's something I have to continuously do.
15:19It's such a humongous project, it can never get over.
15:22Will you ever say that your love for something has exhausted?
15:29You don't want to say that, right?
15:30So the project has to be an eternal one.
15:37Now, what is rejection?
15:44What is failure?
15:46And it's such an interesting thing, you see, when you make small targets, then you face
15:57failures.
16:00And when you make huge targets, then there can be no failure.
16:04When you make unconscious targets, then there can be failure.
16:11But when you make conscious targets in love, then there can be no failure.
16:21So all failure thing is actually symptomatic of inner sleep.
16:43Is this too fast or too abstract or just too much?
16:55How did you land here?
16:58You have read me, you have heard me.
17:02I've seen a lot of your videos on YouTube and Instagram.
17:08And the others?
17:15Shorts?
17:16They are no good.
17:20Shorts are meant to bring you to the longs.
17:23See, I'm not here to make a statement to the walls.
17:47It's the human being I am interested in, not ideology, not theory, not empty lecturing.
17:56I relate to human beings.
17:59So here I am speaking to you.
18:03All this is for you.
18:07The purpose of this is not the enunciation of some kind of philosophy.
18:13The purpose is that you have come here, invested your time, energy.
18:21You should be better off when this whole thing closes.

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