Mentor film channel
  • 6 months ago
Breaking In the Boss Full Movie
Transcript
00:00:00Let me get some of that cocaine.
00:00:07I'm gonna take three Xanax and kill my father.
00:00:16Is that the gayest sign you could find, or was there like one more with a giant dick on it?
00:00:20Shut up, Rob.
00:00:24You smell like beer.
00:00:26You smell like incest.
00:00:31Your tits are lopsided.
00:00:34Eat dog shit.
00:00:43Gary, I wasn't really sure what to get you for your going away present, but I think you're gonna like what I came up with.
00:00:49Check that shit out.
00:00:51Couldn't afford a whole pack?
00:00:53Fuck the pack and listen to this.
00:00:56The other day when Rob wasn't home, I took one of his cigarettes and I soaked in my piss.
00:01:01It was my morning piss, too. It was really dark, and I'd just taken a multivitamin.
00:01:05Like an hour before, I drank a lot of beer the night before.
00:01:08Looked like an apple cider kind of thing.
00:01:10And then what I did was I let it dry out so it would be smokable.
00:01:13This, my man, is that unholy cigarette.
00:01:16I'm giving it to you.
00:01:18No, I don't want to touch that.
00:01:20Fucking try. Take it easy.
00:01:22Just put it on the desk.
00:01:24Alright, but calm down.
00:01:26You sure you don't want to touch it?
00:01:33And how do you plan on pulling this off?
00:01:36It's easy. We just go get Rob.
00:01:38Say we're gonna go out front for a smoke.
00:01:40And then when we get out there, just offer him one of yours.
00:01:42Which he's gonna accept because it's a free cigarette.
00:01:44And then fucking hand him the pissing, and you and I just sit back and laugh our asses off.
00:01:48This is the top five things I've ever come up with.
00:01:51I did it for you.
00:01:53There is a special place in hell for you.
00:01:59So are you gonna do this? Or not?
00:02:03You gonna miss this place, Bruce?
00:02:05This place? Nah.
00:02:07I've been here long enough.
00:02:09Time to go.
00:02:11Rob.
00:02:12Wanna smoke?
00:02:13Yeah.
00:02:14Go. Want one?
00:02:16What the fuck is wrong with this cigarette?
00:02:19What?
00:02:20Look at it! It's fucking disgusting!
00:02:22I know. Ol' Pac's like that.
00:02:24Holy shit, man.
00:02:26Do you want it or not?
00:02:29Yeah.
00:02:30Are Ol' Pac's like that?
00:02:32Yeah, I just had one. It's fine.
00:02:35Alright.
00:02:36Give me your lighter.
00:02:40Wow.
00:02:42I better not get sick from smoking.
00:02:44Bitch, bitch, bitch.
00:02:45Bitch, bitch, bitch.
00:02:53It fucking tastes like piss!
00:02:55How does my piss taste?
00:02:57Fuck you, man!
00:02:58Dude, fucking shit hurts, ass face!
00:03:00Good!
00:03:05You guys ready to eat?
00:03:06Yeah, there's a fucking grill out in the back for you there, Herman.
00:03:11Good-looking spread, dude.
00:03:15I miss you, bud.
00:03:17Yeah.
00:03:18I mean, you probably miss me.
00:03:20Yeah.
00:03:21I mean, you put up with this shit for like a decade.
00:03:23It's not that easy, you know?
00:03:25I mean, no matter how many times we fucked up,
00:03:27threatened to quit.
00:03:29Bomb threats.
00:03:30Bomb threats?
00:03:31Fuck, I don't even know where we're fucking today.
00:03:32Nah, neither was I.
00:03:33It was funny at the time.
00:03:34It was.
00:03:35But you still kept us around, you know?
00:03:37Yeah.
00:03:38I'm gonna miss you guys.
00:03:41You know, you really need to get your shit together.
00:03:45I mean, we like to think of ourselves as lovable losers.
00:03:47And that's good enough?
00:03:49That's it.
00:03:50Nah.
00:03:51I think you guys have got a lot more to offer.
00:03:53But, if you're happy, then...
00:03:57I mean, I think we're pretty happy.
00:03:59Even though everybody hates you?
00:04:01Shut up, Herman.
00:04:02Joe doesn't hate me.
00:04:04No, seriously, I do kind of hate you.
00:04:08Yeah, well, hey, next week,
00:04:10see some new faces coming in,
00:04:12getting a new boss,
00:04:14and, just for you guys,
00:04:17hot new babe coming in.
00:04:19Yeah, fucking thank God.
00:04:21There's finally going to be some of that dick work in here.
00:04:23Yeah.
00:04:24I was ready to go gay.
00:04:25Yeah.
00:04:26I was going to make dad my real god when he presents you.
00:04:30Herman, what the fuck are you doing?
00:04:33Are you serious?
00:04:34We're having a moment here.
00:04:36You fuck everything up, all the time.
00:04:38Why didn't you fire this guy a long time ago?
00:04:43I think I'm going to throw the cable bigger than mine.
00:04:47I was talking to this chick, and she's real fucking hot.
00:04:49Like, I can't stress that enough, you know?
00:04:51She says to me, do you play any sports?
00:04:53And I'm like, I used to play basketball in high school.
00:04:55What about you?
00:04:56And she's like, I used to play every sport.
00:04:58Really?
00:04:59And I was like, oh yeah?
00:05:00What was your best one, competitive eating?
00:05:03Did you really say that?
00:05:05No, but I thought about saying it.
00:05:07She's probably just a monstrous fucking field hockey player in high school, you know?
00:05:10We're like a brutish first baseman.
00:05:12I like that, first baseman.
00:05:13Most fat chicks are, you know?
00:05:15I'm so tired today.
00:05:17Um, excuse me?
00:05:19What's up?
00:05:21Do you guys work here?
00:05:23No, except he's in the city, going around unlocking buildings.
00:05:26What kind of question is that?
00:05:28Um, I'm supposed to start working today.
00:05:30Oh shit, yeah.
00:05:32I'm Joe, that's Rob.
00:05:33Sarah, nice to meet you.
00:05:34Nice to meet you too.
00:05:35What's up?
00:05:36He's an asshole.
00:05:38Um, I thought you guys opened up at nine.
00:05:40Yeah, we did.
00:05:41We just got fucked up last night.
00:05:43Here, come on, I'll show you around.
00:05:45Where are you from?
00:05:46Columbia.
00:05:47Oh, like Pablo Escobar.
00:05:48Yeah, we're actually from the same town.
00:05:50Really?
00:05:51I used to do a lot of coke.
00:05:53Well, that's cool.
00:05:55Yeah, it was fun.
00:05:56A lot of laces, you know?
00:06:02Well, that's pretty much about it.
00:06:03Nobody really gives a shit.
00:06:07I'm not answering that shit.
00:06:09I'm not answering.
00:06:11Salud ring?
00:06:15Rick.
00:06:16Hello, who am I speaking to?
00:06:18This is Joe.
00:06:19Hi Joe, my name is Carolina Garcia.
00:06:22Okay.
00:06:23I was wondering if the short sucker cam was still scheduled for the light 30...
00:06:26As far as I can remember, yeah.
00:06:29Uh, could you check?
00:06:31Yeah, I guess.
00:06:32Can you hang on for one second?
00:06:35Make sure it's not got the ambulance ring.
00:06:40Yeah, right on.
00:06:45Hello?
00:06:46Yes?
00:06:48It is that week, yeah.
00:06:49And that's $175, right?
00:06:51Correct.
00:06:52Okay.
00:06:53Could you mail that to me?
00:06:58I'm sorry?
00:06:59No, nothing, nothing.
00:07:00Just go ahead with the address.
00:07:01Give it to me real quick.
00:07:03It's 3700 Norris Avenue, Palm Springs, Florida.
00:07:0733169?
00:07:09Yes, I got it, yes.
00:07:10And just in time, too, because I think my skull is about to split.
00:07:13How long will that take to get here?
00:07:15I don't know.
00:07:16I don't work for the Post Office.
00:07:17Okay, thank you for your time, Joe.
00:07:19Okay, no problem.
00:07:24I'm taking notes, that's all.
00:07:29So, is anyone else working today?
00:07:32What's that guy's name?
00:07:33Harold?
00:07:34No, Herman.
00:07:35Herman.
00:07:36No, he's not here.
00:07:37He's probably out eating a man.
00:07:38It's just us, but it's cool because it's an easy day, you know?
00:07:41And we usually like to leave about an hour or two early, too, so that's perfect.
00:07:45Are we allowed to do that?
00:07:47Whatever the fuck we want.
00:07:49I mean, we fledged with the time sheets anyway, so it looks like we got paid for a full day.
00:07:53But nobody really cares.
00:07:55Look at that, Uncle Sam never finds out.
00:07:57He knows what I allow him to know.
00:08:01Uh, shirt, right?
00:08:03What size?
00:08:04Um, small.
00:08:05I would have guessed medium.
00:08:06No, dude, I'm a medium.
00:08:07Dude, but you wear your fucking shirts way too tight.
00:08:09Shut up.
00:08:10For a bonnet you don't have.
00:08:15Why would you throw it at her like that?
00:08:17Okay.
00:08:19Dude, where the hell is this new guy at?
00:08:21I mean, it's his first day.
00:08:22It's not a really good first impression, you know?
00:08:24Yeah, but he's the boss.
00:08:25He can make whatever impression he wants.
00:08:27What the fuck are you gonna do?
00:08:28I don't know.
00:08:29Exactly.
00:08:30I don't know.
00:08:31For some reason, I feel like we're in a clash.
00:08:33For some reason, I feel like we're in a clash.
00:08:35Something about taking over some public works scumbag really irks me, you know?
00:08:38Yeah, I don't blame him.
00:08:39They dig holes and clean shit.
00:08:41Exactly.
00:08:42I saw all the...
00:08:43If they went to prison, they'd be one notch above serial killers and one notch below pedophiles.
00:08:50And that's not me saying that.
00:08:52That's A&E.
00:08:53I saw a special on there called Caged.
00:08:56That sounds a little unfair.
00:08:58I know it does, but don't talk to me.
00:08:59Talk to Caged.
00:09:01I know there's a lot of gay shit going on in Africa.
00:09:04Let me ask you a question.
00:09:05How old are you?
00:09:07I'm 20.
00:09:09I don't think you guys remember, but we went to high school together.
00:09:12Hey!
00:09:14You guys working hard or hardly working?
00:09:16What the fuck did you just say to me, dude?
00:09:18Who are you?
00:09:20I'm Don Howard.
00:09:21Oh, shit.
00:09:22My fault, man.
00:09:23Yeah.
00:09:24Yeah, nice to meet you.
00:09:25I thought you were some kind of dancer or something.
00:09:27Yeah.
00:09:28Nice to meet you.
00:09:30Rob?
00:09:31Ooh.
00:09:32Burn.
00:09:33Just kidding, Rob.
00:09:34Nice to meet you.
00:09:35Nice to meet you.
00:09:37You're running a little late there, Don.
00:09:39Yeah, I had a few things to take care of.
00:09:42That's understandable.
00:09:44I mean, I know how they do things over at Public Works, but we don't put up with tardiness here.
00:09:48You do it again, and it's your ass.
00:09:51Alright, Simon Cowell?
00:09:54I'm just fucking with you, dude.
00:09:55Why?
00:09:56You gotta take it easy, man.
00:09:57You look like you were getting ready to jam my nose going over my brain or something.
00:10:01Well, I could, too.
00:10:02Look at the size of them.
00:10:03They're fucking canon.
00:10:04You are, dude.
00:10:05How much are you deadlift?
00:10:07I'd like to see you in some underarmor.
00:10:11Okay.
00:10:12Well, anyway, enlighten me on what you guys are doing here today.
00:10:15Well, just answering phones.
00:10:16As little as possible, if you know what I mean.
00:10:17Exactly.
00:10:18Exactly.
00:10:20And it takes three people to do that.
00:10:22Well, no, technically Rob doesn't do anything.
00:10:23He's just an eye candy.
00:10:24Bullshit.
00:10:25I mean, like, if you were a middle-aged housewife,
00:10:27wouldn't you bring your kid in here and sign him up for soccer camp
00:10:30just for the opportunity to have that guy in your mouth?
00:10:34What did you say?
00:10:40What do you want me to say that I said?
00:10:44Yeah.
00:10:46Earth to Joe.
00:10:48What?
00:10:49What?
00:10:51Listen, if you could bang Kim Kardashian,
00:10:53but Bruce Jenner had to watch, whack off,
00:10:55and slap you in the ass with his gold medal,
00:10:57would you?
00:11:00Yeah, probably.
00:11:02Yeah, me too.
00:11:06What the fuck are you doing, scumbag?
00:11:07What?
00:11:08Can you help me out?
00:11:09Instead of throwing condom wrappers on the ground?
00:11:12Don said you had to do it yourself.
00:11:14Yeah, he said you had to clean the bathrooms.
00:11:15How about I tell him you're not doing that?
00:11:17Fuck that guy.
00:11:18I think he likes me.
00:11:20I mean, he doesn't like like me,
00:11:21but, you know, he likes me as an employee.
00:11:24He definitely hates you.
00:11:26That doesn't even make sense.
00:11:27How could he like you more than me?
00:11:29Even dogs hate you.
00:11:30Name one dog that hates me.
00:11:32Fucking the Oliver.
00:11:34Son of a bitch.
00:11:35Yeah.
00:11:38And he's got a sixth sense for that shit, you know?
00:11:39Yeah.
00:11:41Meanwhile, I'm out here representing the everyman
00:11:42day in and day out.
00:11:44Yeah.
00:11:46I'm actually going for that
00:11:47almost everyman quality, you know?
00:11:50Where I still have the right to exclude certain people.
00:11:52I just want to be like,
00:11:53yeah, I'm everyman.
00:11:55And just point to a crowd of guys
00:11:56and just be like,
00:11:57except you.
00:12:02Hey, fellas.
00:12:03Step into my office.
00:12:07Step into my office?
00:12:09What a dick.
00:12:16I want to make this quick.
00:12:18Okay?
00:12:19I don't like you guys.
00:12:20At all.
00:12:24Well,
00:12:25we're off to an excellent start.
00:12:27How could you not like us now?
00:12:29You don't even know us.
00:12:30I don't have to know you.
00:12:32I have watched the two of you
00:12:33make assholes of yourselves
00:12:35and this department for years now.
00:12:37Like, when?
00:12:39Like, when?
00:12:40Like, how about this,
00:12:41this, this?
00:12:42Like, when?
00:12:44Like, when?
00:12:45Like, how about this last year's
00:12:46seafood festival?
00:12:47Where you both got drunk
00:12:49on the clock, I presume.
00:12:51Then you both wound up puking
00:12:52in front of the food.
00:12:54Yeah, that's true.
00:12:55That night was fun in itself.
00:12:56I'll give you that.
00:12:57I'll give you that.
00:12:58Point for you.
00:12:59Didn't we get laid that night?
00:13:00We didn't get laid, no.
00:13:01I wish.
00:13:02I'm glad you find pleasure
00:13:03in humiliating yourself.
00:13:05Where's this going, though?
00:13:07I mean,
00:13:08if I wanted somebody to tell me
00:13:09what a piece of shit I am,
00:13:10I'll just call my parents.
00:13:11They'd never get tired
00:13:12of telling you that.
00:13:13It's true.
00:13:14They never approve of me
00:13:15and my stuff.
00:13:18Well, I'm going to be running
00:13:19things a lot differently
00:13:20than your last boss.
00:13:21So,
00:13:22you have a choice.
00:13:25Either clean up your attitudes
00:13:27or look for work elsewhere.
00:13:30Bottom line.
00:13:32Well, uh,
00:13:33maybe you got off on the wrong foot,
00:13:34huh?
00:13:35We're a very lovable guy,
00:13:36once you get to know us.
00:13:37Yeah.
00:13:38We're like the Reeseys, man.
00:13:39Perfect.
00:13:41Chocolate, peanut butter,
00:13:42peanut butter, chocolate.
00:13:44Take a bite.
00:13:46Wash it down with some milk.
00:13:50We'll finish cleaning up
00:13:51those buttons.
00:13:53Rob,
00:13:54clean up the bathroom
00:13:55like I told you.
00:13:56I do not want to tell you again.
00:13:59Make it happen.
00:14:05Hey.
00:14:06What happened?
00:14:08I don't know.
00:14:09Apparently the guy's not a fan
00:14:10of our kick-ass way of life.
00:14:12Let's just put it this way.
00:14:13He threatened to fire us,
00:14:14pretty much.
00:14:15Oh, my God.
00:14:16What are you guys going to do?
00:14:18Oh, what we do all the time.
00:14:20Wait till we, uh,
00:14:21park out,
00:14:22go to the bar,
00:14:23and fucking go nightlife.
00:14:24Nope.
00:14:25Life of champions.
00:14:26You don't remember me at all?
00:14:29Should I?
00:14:30We went to high school together.
00:14:32I was a freshman
00:14:33and you guys were seniors.
00:14:36Really?
00:14:37Yeah.
00:14:38I used to see you guys
00:14:39at parties all the time.
00:14:41You guys were usually
00:14:42pretty wasted.
00:14:43That's awesome, all right.
00:14:44Yeah,
00:14:45it's hitting the nail on the head.
00:14:46I remember you were
00:14:47always a different girl.
00:14:48Yeah, it has fucked a lot of women.
00:14:49That's true.
00:14:50A lot of guys, too.
00:14:53It's weird, like,
00:14:54five years later.
00:14:56What?
00:14:58I don't know.
00:14:59You know, I should just
00:15:00get back in the office.
00:15:01Maybe you should.
00:15:02I'll talk to you guys later.
00:15:03Later.
00:15:06By the end of the week,
00:15:07I give it to you.
00:15:08Dang it.
00:15:09I don't even know
00:15:10what she's talking about.
00:15:14What the fuck, man?
00:15:16No one ever locks
00:15:17these fucking legs.
00:15:19Jesus.
00:15:21I'm not fucking cleaning them up.
00:15:33Oh, yeah, right.
00:15:35Dude, she looked at me like
00:15:36I'm just utterly pathetic, man.
00:15:38No, she didn't.
00:15:39You're being
00:15:40too hard on yourself.
00:15:42If you're pathetic,
00:15:43what does that make me?
00:15:44That makes you
00:15:45a genuinely good guy.
00:15:46What the fuck do you think
00:15:47he makes you, idiot?
00:15:48You're the kind of guy
00:15:49Jesus would kick in the sack.
00:15:51Is that a joke?
00:15:52No, it was an observation.
00:15:57What the hell are we
00:15:58going to do about Donna?
00:16:02Maybe this was supposed
00:16:03to happen, you know?
00:16:04Maybe we need a change.
00:16:06Like what?
00:16:09Did I ever tell you
00:16:10I thought I was becoming
00:16:11a bartender?
00:16:12Yeah, you mentioned it here.
00:16:13Yeah, I think I'd be
00:16:14pretty good at it.
00:16:15I love alcohol.
00:16:17I think I'm a pretty
00:16:18personal guy, too, you know?
00:16:19I think I'd be pretty good at it.
00:16:22Yeah, I'm sure you would.
00:16:25Wait, you're not
00:16:26fucking with me, are you?
00:16:27Like, from the time
00:16:28that you told me
00:16:29I looked awesome
00:16:30in a Kangol hat,
00:16:31so I bought one
00:16:32and we went to the club
00:16:33and the guy threw
00:16:34a drink on me?
00:16:35Nice hat, faggot.
00:16:36You didn't even defend me.
00:16:37I couldn't help it, man.
00:16:38Your face was
00:16:39pissing me off, too.
00:16:40You look like your name
00:16:41should have been
00:16:42Ladies Love Gay Ginger.
00:16:45I'm serious.
00:16:49You know, the next time
00:16:50I come here
00:16:51and the bartender
00:16:52asks me
00:16:53what do I want to drink,
00:16:54I'm going to be like
00:16:55anything wet.
00:16:56Yeah, I've always
00:16:57wanted to say that.
00:16:58I've been wanting to
00:16:59say that for years.
00:17:00And I feel like I should
00:17:01be wearing sweatpants
00:17:02with like a two-day-old
00:17:03meatball stain on them
00:17:04or something.
00:17:05And a bomber's jacket.
00:17:06Fuck yeah.
00:17:07Do they even make
00:17:08those things anymore?
00:17:09I think they do.
00:17:10They're coming with
00:17:11a strong comeback.
00:17:12They're coming with
00:17:13a strong comeback.
00:17:14Isn't that the same thing?
00:17:15They're coming back
00:17:16with a strong comeback.
00:17:17I think that's the same thing
00:17:18but I'm going to
00:17:19let it slide.
00:17:20I'm going to come in here
00:17:21with a members-only jacket
00:17:22and talk about my
00:17:23bitch of a wife
00:17:24and how she wanted
00:17:25me to see the kids.
00:17:26You want to buy
00:17:27some roses?
00:17:28First of all,
00:17:29those aren't even roses.
00:17:30And second, no,
00:17:31I don't.
00:17:32First of all,
00:17:33fuck you.
00:17:34Second of all,
00:17:35why don't you go
00:17:36score some more smack?
00:17:37Take a hike, okay?
00:17:38Yeah, tell your mom
00:17:39I'm going to swing by
00:17:40later to get a snack.
00:17:41Ooh, well done.
00:17:42Well done.
00:17:43What are you doing here?
00:17:44Aren't there Johns
00:17:45who need to be serviced?
00:17:46Ouch.
00:17:47Hey, you know what?
00:17:48Fuck you.
00:17:49Fuck both of you.
00:17:50Okay?
00:17:51I'm going to get
00:17:52my fucking cousin
00:17:53and he's going to kick
00:17:54both of your fucking asses.
00:17:55You guys are
00:17:56fucking pussies.
00:17:57Fuck you.
00:17:58You go, girl.
00:17:59Hey.
00:18:00Man, I bet you got
00:18:01a hell of an alpha
00:18:02if you know what I mean.
00:18:03Like the green
00:18:04I'm referring to my
00:18:05Yeah.
00:18:06I got it.
00:18:07You look a little confused.
00:18:08No, I'm not confused.
00:18:09I got all these
00:18:10in my dick report card.
00:18:14You're talking
00:18:15about a shitty day, man.
00:18:17It was right there
00:18:18at that time
00:18:19my freshman year
00:18:20when I was having
00:18:21a small dick day
00:18:22and I got flagged
00:18:23in the middle of the hallway.
00:18:24Needless to say,
00:18:25Christy Grofflo
00:18:26was in no rush
00:18:27to fuck me afterwards.
00:18:28I hit her out
00:18:29one time at a party
00:18:30when she was drunk.
00:18:31Really?
00:18:32Yeah.
00:18:33That's one of
00:18:34your better accomplishments.
00:18:35I really think it is.
00:18:36That's the worst part about it.
00:18:41No, I don't know.
00:18:42What does that say about you?
00:18:43A lot.
00:18:45It says you should
00:18:46eat a rat poison souffle
00:18:47ASAP.
00:18:53I'm going to get going,
00:18:54alright?
00:18:55Alright, let's go.
00:18:56No, stay here.
00:18:57I just want to go home
00:18:58and do some thinking
00:18:59and be alone.
00:19:00Christ, dude.
00:19:01I'm not going to have
00:19:02a cock rock all night,
00:19:03am I?
00:19:04Yeah, you absolutely are.
00:19:05The spandex, the bullshit.
00:19:06Everything.
00:19:07Jesus Christ.
00:19:32What did you do to Bill?
00:19:33He likes me when
00:19:34I hit fucking songs.
00:19:35What's up, dude?
00:19:36I didn't know it was on.
00:19:37You shaved your chest.
00:19:38Nah, just
00:19:39checking out
00:19:40the air filters.
00:19:41Feeling any better?
00:19:42I'm pretty sure I'm
00:19:43feeling better.
00:19:44I'm not sure
00:19:45that you're feeling
00:19:46better.
00:19:47I'm sure you're
00:19:48feeling better.
00:19:49I'm not sure
00:19:50that you're feeling
00:19:51better.
00:19:52I'm sure
00:19:53you're feeling
00:19:54better.
00:19:55I'm not sure
00:19:56that you're feeling
00:19:57better.
00:19:58I mean,
00:19:59I can't remember
00:20:00my pain from
00:20:01I was thinking about it, man. I can't lose this job, dude. It's the only job we ever had. We started working when we were 14, so I'm going to be a freshman here, remember?
00:20:15Yeah, we're kind of sort of lacking any necessary skills for any other job.
00:20:21That's true. I mean, I say we just go in there when we start busting our asses, you know? If we do that, then Don won't have shit to say. Like, that's our home, not his. I'm not going to let him run me out of there like it's nothing.
00:20:38I'm with you, then.
00:20:40Are you seriously backing me up on this?
00:20:42Of course. You never say die.
00:20:46That should be so fucked up right now. I'm going to hug you anyway.
00:20:55Dude, come on, man! I mean, that was a pretty decent moment we had there, and you fucked it up.
00:21:04I didn't mean it.
00:21:17Dude.
00:21:21Dude.
00:21:25What are you doing?
00:21:29Just looking around.
00:21:33Are you going to kill me?
00:21:47How's everything going, Jolita? Todo bien?
00:21:49Yeah, I'm fine, thanks.
00:21:51Let me know if you need a hand.
00:21:53Yeah, I'm fine, thanks, though.
00:21:57You know, I spent some time in Colombia.
00:22:01Yeah?
00:22:02Yeah.
00:22:03I spent some time in Colombia.
00:22:05Yeah?
00:22:06Yeah.
00:22:07Yeah.
00:22:08Yeah.
00:22:09Yeah.
00:22:10Yeah.
00:22:11Yeah.
00:22:13You know, I spent some time in Colombia.
00:22:17That's nice.
00:22:18Yeah, I went to the capital, Bogotá.
00:22:21I had a great time. The women were so hot. Muy caliente.
00:22:26Yeah, that's nice.
00:22:28So willing to please. So eager. Oh, my God, what a great time.
00:22:32I have to go back.
00:22:36You know, I'm okay. You don't have to stay in here. I'm fine.
00:22:41Just making sure everything's okay.
00:22:43Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you.
00:22:45Great. Just doing a little supervision, that's all.
00:22:48Okay.
00:22:49If you don't mind.
00:22:54Look, when did he get that button?
00:22:56Where you going, old man?
00:22:58Well, Doc said he wants me to repaint the basketball courts.
00:23:01We just did that, like, two months ago.
00:23:03He said he wants it done again.
00:23:05Tell him no. I mean, you've been here for, like, 20 years.
00:23:07It doesn't work like that.
00:23:09I'm pretty sure it does. Yeah, I know it does.
00:23:11You used to tell Bruce all the time, though.
00:23:13Don's not like Bruce. Don's unlike Bruce.
00:23:15Eerie. Foreboding, Herman.
00:23:20What's up, guys?
00:23:22Sorry we're a little late. Rob just got done taking a huge wittery dump.
00:23:25Yeah, sorry about that.
00:23:27You have no idea what 30 beers and cream spinach would do to a man's skull.
00:23:30Oh, I know. I know. A little fat. I smelled it.
00:23:33Yeah, well, I'm glad you guys are here.
00:23:35It's time for me to give you your next job assignment.
00:23:37So, buddy, what do you got for us?
00:23:39Lumberjack.
00:23:40We are going to rearrange the entire office to make it ergonomically correct.
00:23:44What? What the fuck does that even mean?
00:23:47Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
00:23:49And if I don't like it, you'll be doing it again until I do like it.
00:23:55Sarah, can you give us a minute alone, please?
00:23:57Sarah's not going anywhere. She's got a lot of work to do.
00:24:00The two of you go get started.
00:24:03This fucking thing's tough to push.
00:24:05Yeah, how about you break it in the hard way?
00:24:07Oh, get fucked, Bildo. I didn't hear you say anything.
00:24:14Do you think meteorologists get chicks?
00:24:17Meteorologists?
00:24:19That's what I said. Meteorologists.
00:24:21Of course they get chicks, dude. Why wouldn't they?
00:24:23They're on TV. They can predict the weather.
00:24:25Nicolas Cage made a movie about their lives.
00:24:27It's probably impossible for those guys not to get chicks.
00:24:29I'd love to be a fucking meteorologist.
00:24:31Nicolas Cage?
00:24:32Better.
00:24:33Hey, guys.
00:24:34Oh, what's up?
00:24:35I had to get out of there.
00:24:37He's an asshole, isn't he?
00:24:39Yeah, he is. I can't stand that guy.
00:24:41Is he being a dick to you, too?
00:24:43Not a dick. He's just completely pervert.
00:24:46Yeah, I could see that. He seems perverted.
00:24:49It sucks he never got to work with our old boss, Bruce.
00:24:51That guy was awesome.
00:24:52No, I met him. He hired me.
00:24:54He was really cool.
00:24:56No, I met him. He hired me.
00:24:58He was really nice.
00:24:59He was a shit. Unlike his other guys, he's a piece of shit.
00:25:02Say that again?
00:25:04What?
00:25:05Um, no. I was just telling Sarah that I just wanted to peel off her tits.
00:25:11That's sexual harassment. And grounds for termination.
00:25:14Then, in that case, that's not what I said.
00:25:16I said I have to go take another shit.
00:25:18So I hired...
00:25:19Oh, well, great. Great. That's wonderful.
00:25:21You can go take one down to the 8th Street Field.
00:25:23I just got a call.
00:25:25There's a big mess in the ladies' room over there in one of the stalls.
00:25:28Why can't Sarah fucking do it, dude? She's a girl.
00:25:31I didn't ask Sarah. I asked you.
00:25:33You know, I can't clean all this shit up by myself.
00:25:35Well, it looks like you're going to have to.
00:25:37Fuck, man. It's a two-man job.
00:25:41You guys look like you want to say something.
00:25:43Go ahead. Say something funny.
00:25:45No.
00:25:47No.
00:25:54I need you to go pick up the mail, Sarah.
00:25:58Sarah!
00:25:59I heard you. I'll be there in a minute.
00:26:03I said she'll be there in a minute, boss.
00:26:07You're good. You're safe.
00:26:11Bye.
00:26:18You just don't get it.
00:26:21You stop. Do you want to get yourself fired?
00:26:23Yeah, I'm trying, but this jerk-off isn't making it any easier.
00:26:26Well, that's what he wants.
00:26:28He can't just fire you without any cause.
00:26:30But the minute you slip up, he can and probably will.
00:26:36Yeah, it's true, I guess.
00:26:38We've got to keep our composure, at least at work.
00:26:40Yeah.
00:26:41I'll just beat the shit out of him outside of work. That'll do it.
00:26:44It'll give me a perfect chance to wear my ski mask, too, so that's a plus.
00:26:47Do you ski?
00:26:48No, a lot of rappers talk about ski masks, so I figured I should get one.
00:26:51Oh, do you rock?
00:26:52No, I just emulate the music.
00:26:54And I sell a lot of drugs.
00:26:58You know, when I first saw that you work here,
00:27:01I kind of had this preconceived notion of what you'd be like.
00:27:06I get that a lot.
00:27:08Okay? It doesn't bother me.
00:27:10Sometimes it does.
00:27:12As long as you're happy, that's all that matters, right?
00:27:15I guess.
00:27:18Did we ever talk when we were in school?
00:27:20Not really.
00:27:22You tried to get with a friend of mine at a party once.
00:27:25She said no, and you flipped out and kicked the side mirror off of her car.
00:27:31Really? Sorry about that.
00:27:33Tell her I said sorry fucking four years late.
00:27:35She died in a car accident.
00:27:37They said if she would have been able to see from her side view mirror, it would have happened.
00:27:44I'm just kidding!
00:27:45Jesus, it's not even funny.
00:27:49Christ, you think I'm responsible for somebody's death?
00:27:53I figured I was responsible for a couple people's, but I'd rather not know about it.
00:27:56You should have seen yourself.
00:27:58That's fine, I'm just scared about seeing my underwear.
00:28:00I can go fresh turkey tracks.
00:28:16Let me get that.
00:28:18Let me get that.
00:28:20Let me get that.
00:28:23Let me get that.
00:28:25Let me get that.
00:28:27Now, at this point, I thought Buffalo Bill here was either going to A, throw me in the back of his van,
00:28:33or B, jam his dick in my mouth like I'm in a pile of shit.
00:28:37But he had something else in mind.
00:28:39Turns out he's a public works employee who used to work for Doc.
00:28:43He had some business to discuss.
00:28:45I ignored the fact that he looked like a fucking failed Hugh Laurie genome project,
00:28:49and decided to hear him out.
00:28:51Sweet, Don had an affair with your mom?
00:28:53Yeah, yeah he did.
00:28:55You got any idea what it's like to see your mom plowed by not only your boss, but also the man you despise?
00:29:00Well, I did walk on my mom and dad having sex once.
00:29:04Come to think of it, your situation is a little worse.
00:29:07You want a candy?
00:29:09Do you have any with a wrapper still on it?
00:29:14No.
00:29:20No, dude, I'm good, thanks.
00:29:22Did your dad ever find out about your mom and Don?
00:29:25No. No, my parents are divorced.
00:29:27Last time I saw my dad he was being loaded onto the back of an ambulance.
00:29:31Really? What happened?
00:29:32I smashed his face in with a ten pound dumbbell.
00:29:35Okay...
00:29:37Marriage is a sacred bond.
00:29:39Men like Don really don't deserve their wives.
00:29:42I don't care really, I just want them out of the picture, you know?
00:29:45Well, Don's cocky.
00:29:47We're gonna get him, we really have to think outside the box.
00:29:51Think outside the box?
00:29:53Dude, I think you've been thinking outside the box way too long now.
00:29:57Alright?
00:29:58I bet you don't know what the fuck the inside of a box even looks like anymore.
00:30:01Crap.
00:30:03Dude, your zipper's down by the way, I see your dick.
00:30:05It's disgusting.
00:30:08Dude, you look like a penguin too.
00:30:13Dude, you're gross.
00:30:19You smoking?
00:30:21Nah, it's one of those fake cigarettes from the novelty stores.
00:30:25Put it out.
00:30:31You want some help redecorating the place?
00:30:35I'm not even doing anything, dude.
00:30:37You can just go ahead and eat your lunch if you want to.
00:30:39I'm not that hungry, I don't mind.
00:30:41I mean, it's up to you.
00:30:43All I have left to do is move that into the corner, if you want to help me with that.
00:30:46Alright, well, let's get some music going.
00:30:49Now wait a second, I'd rather you didn't, okay?
00:30:52I'm just saying, if someone were to walk in here, it's gonna look pretty weird.
00:31:00Okay, fine.
00:31:02Put on something decent for God's sake, there should be a CD already in there.
00:31:10Alright, I'll give you that, I do like this song.
00:31:13That's not bad.
00:31:15That's clean music.
00:31:16Yo!
00:31:18Don't do that, okay, pal?
00:31:20That's how the line gets blurred.
00:31:22If I see a dick, I'm gonna freak out.
00:31:28I'm sorry, I thought this was a place of business, not some homo nightclub.
00:31:33What are you talking about? There aren't even any other people here.
00:31:37I need to see him in private.
00:31:44Watch yourself.
00:31:46Pretty soon you'll be out on your ass, but until that time, I am your boss.
00:31:50You want to keep testing me, that's fine.
00:31:52I can make this place miserable for you and everybody else in here.
00:31:56So remember, when you see them suffering, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
00:32:37Magnetic, heretic, much sympathetic, poetic
00:32:40Touch indications of higher trust
00:32:42Simulations of lower us
00:32:44Of a flicker of brighter we
00:32:46So simple but hard to see
00:32:48Possible quasi-positive possibilities
00:32:50To be the bearer of keys
00:32:52To be the finder of doors
00:32:54To ride the rivers of life
00:32:56Reflect the image of source
00:32:58We plot a primitive course
00:32:59Viewed by malevolent force
00:33:01It's up to you to change the story
00:33:03Play with spiritually yours
00:33:04Come back to spirit divorce
00:33:05Return to spiritual flight
00:33:07Drop all religious glock, my baby
00:33:09Catch the spirit tonight
00:33:11And we gon' stick it to you
00:33:12Feed it to you
00:33:13Breed it to you
00:33:14Give it to you
00:33:15Push it to the limit
00:33:16Till you all fall down
00:33:18We gon' rush all night
00:33:19We're the stars in the sky
00:33:21When the lights go bright
00:33:23Then the sparks take flight
00:33:25We gon' move it to you
00:33:26Stick it to you
00:33:27Move it to you
00:33:28Kick it to you
00:33:29Push it to the limit
00:33:30Make you all fall down
00:33:32We gon' rush all night
00:33:33We're the stars in the sky
00:33:35When the lights go bright
00:33:36Then the sparks take flight
00:33:38We gon' move it to you
00:33:39Stick it to you
00:33:40Move it to you
00:33:41Kick it to you
00:33:42Push it to the limit
00:33:43Make you all fall down
00:33:45I'm so blind
00:33:47I'm another plane in the sky
00:33:50Do you want my name?
00:33:52It's the sign
00:33:54From the end of days of my time
00:33:57Can't you see it stays?
00:33:59So we'll walk to the left
00:34:01March to the right
00:34:03Don't let the mark of the beast on your side
00:34:06So welcome to my spaceship
00:34:08My planet is amazing
00:34:10There's nothing like you've seen
00:34:11And there's never limitation
00:34:13So walk to the left
00:34:15March to the right
00:34:17Don't let the mark of the beast on your side
00:34:20So hop in on my spaceship
00:34:22My planet is amazing
00:34:23There's nothing like you've seen
00:34:25And there's never limitation
00:34:27We gon' rush all night
00:34:32Hey babe
00:34:34Oh nothing, I'm just sitting here with some jerk-off
00:34:39Oh really? Yeah, I'm excited about it too
00:34:41I've already made the reservation for nine
00:34:45Recreation department
00:34:46This is Rob speaking
00:34:47How can I help you?
00:34:48Oh
00:34:49Don, it's your wife
00:34:51Tell her I'll call her back
00:34:54You said you'd call her back
00:34:55I didn't mean to, but
00:34:56I'm a little busy
00:34:57I'm meeting my wife
00:34:58And I'm in a hurry
00:35:00I'll call you later
00:35:01Okay
00:35:02Well, you know, I'm in a hurry
00:35:03I'm meeting my wife
00:35:05I'm in a hurry
00:35:06You know, I'm in a hurry
00:35:07I'm in a hurry
00:35:08I'm in a hurry
00:35:09I'm in a hurry
00:35:10I'm in a hurry
00:35:11I'm in a hurry
00:35:12I'm in a hurry
00:35:13You said to call you back.
00:35:15Alright, later.
00:35:17Okay, well look, I'll give you a call a little later on and I'll see you tonight, okay?
00:35:22Okay, bye.
00:35:26Where's Herman?
00:35:29I think I had a nap in the break room.
00:35:31A nap?
00:35:38Herman!
00:35:44How's it going?
00:35:46I've been better.
00:35:49I had a chicken parm sandwich that did a number on my stomach.
00:35:53I blew up the bathroom.
00:35:56That should help.
00:35:58Okay.
00:36:00Well listen, uh, the reason I came in here is because I want to continue our conversation about, you know, cutting loose some of the dead weight around here.
00:36:08Like who?
00:36:09Who do you think?
00:36:11Hey boss, I'm going to go take a piss, is that okay?
00:36:13Yo, Herman, in high school, where do you vote in most likely to enjoy the taste of human flesh?
00:36:19Eat that one, boys.
00:36:25They are handsome.
00:36:27They just mess around.
00:36:29They're not just messing around, they're making fun of you!
00:36:32You know what the other departments say about you?
00:36:35That you're a grown man being pushed around by two kids who don't give a shit about you or anybody else.
00:36:41Have you guys seen Joe?
00:36:43Bathroom.
00:36:45Hey, who's answering the phones?
00:36:47We're going to lose robots in tracking three!
00:36:50Losers.
00:36:54Joe, guess what?
00:36:56Don't you have something to drink?
00:36:58Oh, dude!
00:37:00Yeah, that's what you get!
00:37:02Eww, you freak!
00:37:04I don't know if it smelled, it kind of did.
00:37:07That's what you get, that was perfect timing.
00:37:09Dude, it really was.
00:37:11Dude, call him.
00:37:12I've got to tell Sarah about tonight.
00:37:14Dude, tonight's Sunday, man.
00:37:16HBO movie.
00:37:17Are we going to hang out?
00:37:19Are you serious?
00:37:20Are we married?
00:37:21No.
00:37:22Yeah, so stop.
00:37:23Stop with the chains, the obligations.
00:37:25I don't have a ring on this finger.
00:37:27You're the reason that I don't want to get married, because I never want to experience another relationship like I had with you.
00:37:32To me, the perfect situation would be, I move out.
00:37:35Go where?
00:37:37We're not friends anymore.
00:37:39And a little while after that, I read in the local paper that you're dead.
00:37:43I was going to hang out with Walter.
00:37:45I can't believe you would hang out with that guy.
00:37:47As soon as he told you his name was Walter, it should have been a red flag not to hang out with the guy.
00:37:52It should have been a sign that he may or may not fuck you in your sleep.
00:37:55Good one.
00:37:57Maybe he wants to come, I don't know.
00:37:59I'm going to invite him, I guess.
00:38:01Silent invitation?
00:38:03Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
00:38:05How the fuck do you send a silent invitation?
00:38:07There's a lot of things that really don't make sense coming out of my mouth.
00:38:10Yeah, I noticed.
00:38:12I got something that makes sense going into your mouth.
00:38:14How about that?
00:38:15I don't get it.
00:38:17Okay.
00:38:18Maybe he can come out tonight, I don't know.
00:38:21Fine with me, man.
00:38:23I got my date.
00:38:24What's so fucking funny?
00:38:25No, I think it's awesome, because I have my date.
00:38:27Okay.
00:38:28She's very cute.
00:38:31She's got a vagina.
00:38:33And now you have yours.
00:38:35As far as you know.
00:38:36He's very weird looking.
00:38:38And he's got a dick.
00:38:39So it works out for both of us.
00:38:41Ah, fine.
00:38:42Yeah.
00:38:43Okay.
00:38:44Okay, when was the first time?
00:38:46Wait, you memorized her number?
00:38:48You fucking creep.
00:38:49It's easy, dickhead.
00:38:50It has a lot of sevens.
00:38:52It's on the directory.
00:38:53Oh, yeah.
00:38:54It's like seven, seven, seven.
00:38:55Seven, seven.
00:38:56Seven, seven.
00:38:57All sevens.
00:38:58Forty-nine.
00:39:00What's going on?
00:39:02Yo, what's going on, sir?
00:39:03What's going on?
00:39:04Like something's gay.
00:39:06No, I got your number from the, um, from Rob.
00:39:08He said he memorized it.
00:39:09Fuck you, man.
00:39:13Yeah, it's fucked up, right?
00:39:14It's an invasion of privacy.
00:39:18Yeah, I'll have a talk with him.
00:39:19Because, you know, I think, I agree.
00:39:20I think he kind of cross-lined.
00:39:21I'm sorry if I cross-lined by calling you.
00:39:23I just thought it'd be okay.
00:39:24I mean, he's the guy, he's the one who initiated the whole thing,
00:39:27and he memorized your number.
00:39:30All right, okay.
00:39:31All right.
00:39:32But, uh, anyway, I was calling you to see if you were down for a little covert optimist
00:39:35in that hero tonight.
00:39:38Yeah, he overheard Don, over on the phone, making some reservations with some womanist.
00:39:42We're going to go out there, see if we can spy on him a little bit, get some evidence.
00:39:45It's going to be fun as shit.
00:39:50All right, awesome.
00:39:51Yeah, just come over to our place at, like, um, seven, seven forty-five, eight o'clock.
00:39:55Perfect.
00:39:58All right.
00:39:59Cool.
00:40:00I'll see you later.
00:40:01Bye.
00:40:04That's fucking money right there.
00:40:06You want me to take notes or something?
00:40:07I wish you could take notes.
00:40:08You don't even know how to write.
00:40:10We shouldn't even on the phone.
00:40:11No, I just dial a fucking line number, because I'm you.
00:40:14Whatever, dude.
00:40:15You're the guy who does that.
00:40:16I talk to women all the time.
00:40:17You're the guy who does that.
00:40:18I talk to women all the time.
00:40:20Yeah, like, when they have to, when they work behind counters, and they're forced to.
00:40:24Yeah, that's right.
00:40:26That's how it's done, dude.
00:40:28Can I be, like, your protege?
00:40:29Like, honestly?
00:40:30I, no, you're not good enough.
00:40:32Whatever.
00:40:33I'd love to have a protege, but I don't want it to be you.
00:40:35I don't want to waste all this on you.
00:40:39It's not a joke.
00:40:41You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
00:40:42It's like, like, you're the pick-up artist.
00:40:44You're like, uh, what's his name?
00:40:45Mysterious, or, uh?
00:40:46Mystery.
00:40:47Mystery.
00:40:48I'm like those geeky nerds.
00:40:49I'm not that guy.
00:40:50I don't like that guy.
00:40:51He's a freak.
00:40:52You can get a tattoo of a lips on your neck.
00:40:54You know that guy really doesn't have those tattoos on his neck?
00:40:56Which one?
00:40:57Mystery.
00:40:58Oh, just for the show?
00:40:59Just for the show.
00:41:00I was kind of disappointed, so I wanted to, like, put my lips on his neck to see if they would match up.
00:41:05Yeah, that's true.
00:41:06Did it match up when you put your lips on his dick?
00:41:08My lips on his dick?
00:41:09Yeah.
00:41:11It didn't match up.
00:41:12You did it, but it didn't match up.
00:41:13Nah, it didn't though.
00:41:15Whatever, dude.
00:41:16This is going to be lots of fun, I can tell you that right now.
00:41:18Getting to ride in the car with you and your girlfriend for two hours.
00:41:21That guy, I barely even know.
00:41:22Who may or may not be the reincarnation of Ben King.
00:41:24I don't know.
00:41:26Okay.
00:41:27He's your friend.
00:41:28I really don't give a shit.
00:41:29I don't understand why this asshole made the reservation for nine o'clock, though.
00:41:32I don't really want to go hang out there, fucking.
00:41:34I'd rather be sitting in my place at nine o'clock.
00:41:36Who eats dinner that late?
00:41:38I do.
00:41:39Yeah, that's true.
00:41:40I forgot all about that.
00:41:41They do.
00:41:42I always hated eating at your place.
00:41:44Like, six o'clock or all around, I'd be fucking starving.
00:41:46Your mom would just be putting the corned beef and cabbage in.
00:41:49I'd be like, yo, what's up with this McBitch?
00:41:51Whoa, relax, okay?
00:41:52Don't call her that.
00:41:53A McBitch?
00:41:54Yeah, you heard me.
00:41:55Don't call her that.
00:41:56She's been kidding you for what, like five, six years?
00:41:59Yeah, doesn't mean that I enjoyed it.
00:42:01She gave me undercooked bacon and potatoes.
00:42:03We don't cook bacon for the 100th time, dude.
00:42:06When did we cook bacon?
00:42:08Exactly, you guys don't cook because you're Irish.
00:42:10And you just give me a big fatty slab of bacon and say, help yourself.
00:42:13And while you sit there and watch Bobby Flay reruns.
00:42:16And occasionally some little cabbage on the side.
00:42:18No dessert.
00:42:19Oh yeah, Irish potatoes for dessert.
00:42:20Yeah.
00:42:21Cream cheese and coconuts.
00:42:22Let's just mix them together and drop them in some cinnamon.
00:42:26That's a dessert.
00:42:27Fucking awesome.
00:42:28I call it a ball of cream cheese.
00:42:29I call it a ball of cream cheese.
00:42:31Whatever, dude.
00:42:32It was something.
00:42:33Yeah, it was terrible.
00:42:34Tell her to throw the bacon in a frying pan, for God's sake.
00:42:37I seen your mom one time.
00:42:38She was like, hey, would you like some dessert?
00:42:40I'm thinking she's going to give me a pie or maybe a nice piece of fruit.
00:42:43She gave me a potato.
00:42:44I was like, hey, is this a new dessert called spud?
00:42:48She was like, I was like, can I get some icing on this?
00:42:51And she's like, yeah, sure.
00:42:52And she just salted it.
00:42:53And then she took a bite at it.
00:42:54It's like fucking tomatoes.
00:42:55And then she put on Celtic music.
00:42:56And it was weird as shit.
00:42:57And it made me really depressed.
00:43:00It was really good baked potatoes.
00:43:01Mayonnaise.
00:43:03Yeah, I know.
00:43:04You eat that shit on everything.
00:43:05You eat it by the jar.
00:43:06Dude, it's in my veins.
00:43:07Yeah, for sure it is.
00:43:08Is that why you're so white and pale?
00:43:14My lady, all I need is one night.
00:43:16I'll have you screaming like, no hesitation.
00:43:25What's up?
00:43:26Hey.
00:43:27How are you?
00:43:28Good.
00:43:29She's nice.
00:43:30Thanks.
00:43:31Am I supposed to give you a kiss on the cheek?
00:43:33No.
00:43:34Sure?
00:43:35I can do it.
00:43:36No, that's OK.
00:43:37We're ready to go, though.
00:43:38You all set?
00:43:39Yeah.
00:43:40Should I drive?
00:43:41No, I'll drive.
00:43:42I picked up an 18 earlier.
00:43:43Yeah, so I'm good to go.
00:43:44I'm joking.
00:43:45You're so funny.
00:43:47I had like six.
00:43:49Rob's downstairs.
00:43:50He just got a call from his boyfriend.
00:43:51So we gotta go check that guy out.
00:43:52OK.
00:43:53All right?
00:44:01No, I'm just saying, it's not gay if it's a girl that eats my ass.
00:44:03If it's a guy, I'll give you that.
00:44:04That's borderline.
00:44:05I'll give you borderline.
00:44:06I'm not even going full on that.
00:44:08It's kind of good, though.
00:44:09Yeah.
00:44:10Or what if she jams a banana in my mouth at the same time?
00:44:12That's gay.
00:44:13What if she takes fresh blackberries and she just kind of mushes them up in her hand and
00:44:16she slaps me across the face with them?
00:44:18What is up with your food?
00:44:20All right, is it weird if I like when she takes frozen blueberries and throws them at
00:44:24my back really hard and they leave little welts?
00:44:26I don't know.
00:44:27It's kind of weird, but I would really like to try that.
00:44:29That's awesome.
00:44:30Is it?
00:44:31Because then you get done and you don't even have to fucking get up.
00:44:33Fucking your meal is there.
00:44:35Ew.
00:44:36Not bad.
00:44:37It's dessert and dessert.
00:44:39You know what I'm saying?
00:44:40You can have your cake and eat it, too.
00:44:41Yeah.
00:44:42You're disgusting.
00:44:43If you're saying that I'm gay for liking that.
00:44:44Isn't he gay?
00:44:45He's gay.
00:44:46All right, then in three weeks' time, less than three weeks, 19 days, you're going to
00:44:50be eating a gay guy's ass.
00:44:51No, I'm not.
00:44:52I put money on that.
00:44:53No.
00:44:54He knows what I'm capable of.
00:44:55I would never do that.
00:44:56He knows what I'm capable of.
00:44:57No.
00:44:58He called me the rim job, the human rim job.
00:44:59Is that him?
00:45:00Dude, it's like a fucking Midnight Marauder.
00:45:01What the fuck's a Midnight Marauder?
00:45:02Him.
00:45:03I don't know.
00:45:04What's up, Walter?
00:45:05Joe?
00:45:06Sarah?
00:45:07Sarah?
00:45:08Joe?
00:45:09Walter?
00:45:10What's up, guy?
00:45:11Yeah, hi.
00:45:12Listen, you sure you don't want me to bring the gun?
00:45:13Did someone say gun?
00:45:14No, no one said anything about a gun, Sarah.
00:45:15Just relax.
00:45:16All right?
00:45:17Oh, my God.
00:45:18Oh, my God.
00:45:19Oh, my God.
00:45:20Oh, my God.
00:45:21Oh, my God.
00:45:22Oh, my God.
00:45:23Oh, my God.
00:45:24Oh, my God.
00:45:25Oh, my God.
00:45:26Oh, my God.
00:45:27Oh, my God.
00:45:28Oh, my God.
00:45:29Oh, my God.
00:45:30Oh, my God.
00:45:31Oh, my God.
00:45:32Oh, my God.
00:45:33Oh, my God.
00:45:34Oh, my God.
00:45:35Oh, my God.
00:45:36Oh, my God.
00:45:37Oh, my God.
00:45:38Oh, my God.
00:45:39Oh, my God.
00:45:40Oh, my God.
00:45:41Oh, my God.
00:45:42Oh, my God.
00:45:43Oh, my God.
00:45:44Oh, my God.
00:45:45Oh, my God.
00:45:46Oh, my God.
00:45:47Oh, my God.
00:45:48Oh, my God.
00:45:49Oh, my God.
00:45:50Oh, my God.
00:45:51Oh, my God.
00:45:52Oh, my God.
00:45:53Oh, my God.
00:45:54Oh, my God.
00:45:55Oh, my God.
00:45:56Oh, my God.
00:45:57Oh, my God.
00:45:58Oh, my God.
00:45:59Oh, my God.
00:46:00Oh, my God.
00:46:01Oh, my God.
00:46:02Oh, my God.
00:46:03Oh, my God.
00:46:04Oh, my God.
00:46:05Oh, my God.
00:46:06Oh, my God.
00:46:07Oh, my God.
00:46:08Oh, my God.
00:46:09Oh, my God.
00:46:10Oh, my God.
00:46:11Oh, my God.
00:46:12Oh, my God.
00:46:13Oh, my God.
00:46:14Oh, my God.
00:46:15Oh, my God.
00:46:16Oh, my God.
00:46:17Oh, my God.
00:46:18Oh, my God.
00:46:19Oh, my God.
00:46:20Oh, my God.
00:46:21Oh, my God.
00:46:22Oh, my God.
00:46:23Oh, my God.
00:46:24Oh, my God.
00:46:25Oh, my God.
00:46:26Oh, my God.
00:46:27Oh, my God.
00:46:28Oh, my God.
00:46:29Oh, my God.
00:46:30Oh, my God.
00:46:32Start the fucking car!
00:46:33Oh my God, start the car...
00:46:34Uh, start the car Joe.
00:46:38Yeah...
00:46:39Is he holding the Piano I heard.
00:46:40Um, I just...
00:46:42START THE FUCKING CAR!!!
00:46:44You true transgender shit cunt!
00:46:46Shit cunt?
00:46:47Wasn't he just calling me a shit cunt.
00:46:49Just Drive!!!!!!!!
00:46:50Jesus, can't believe he didn't fuck with me on purpose!
00:46:52But he did, he called me a shit cunt, but I don't know what that is
00:46:54We can get it on
00:46:56Take it from the club to my home
00:46:58Get you in the zone
00:46:59maybe
00:47:08i can hear you
00:47:09uh...
00:47:11uh...
00:47:14uh...
00:47:16uh...
00:47:20uh...
00:47:23uh...
00:47:31uh...
00:47:34uh...
00:47:35uh...
00:47:37it
00:47:53uh...
00:47:55uh...
00:47:57that's the best part
00:48:00you serious
00:48:05just as far as
00:48:08what's
00:48:13really
00:48:14so good
00:48:19was
00:48:21you see
00:48:29uh...
00:48:38uh...
00:48:45uh...
00:48:47no i i mean briefly
00:48:49you know
00:48:53uh...
00:48:55uh...
00:48:57uh...
00:48:59uh...
00:49:00uh...
00:49:02uh...
00:49:04what the fuck is that
00:49:06uh...
00:49:08uh...
00:49:10uh...
00:49:12uh...
00:49:13defrauded
00:49:15uh...
00:49:16x
00:49:25uh...
00:49:26uh...
00:49:43uh...
00:49:47like
00:49:49uh...
00:49:51shots everybody
00:49:56uh...
00:50:02one
00:50:05uh...
00:50:06uh...
00:50:08one
00:50:10uh...
00:50:13All we need is one so we can take him to work, and then tomorrow night I can just go get some more, and you can come over to my place.
00:50:19That's a nice subtle way to get him back over to your place.
00:50:22You like that?
00:50:23Yo, can we go home?
00:50:24A little flirting session is going on right now.
00:50:30There she is.
00:50:31Hey.
00:50:32What's up?
00:50:33What's up, pal?
00:50:34I like how I was in your back pocket.
00:50:36Yeah, was there any room under there?
00:50:37Yeah, there was.
00:50:38Can I put my hand in just to see?
00:50:39No.
00:50:40Can I put my mouth there just to see?
00:50:42I have my camera still in the car if you guys want to see that later.
00:50:45Yeah, it's perfect, actually.
00:50:47How is he today?
00:50:48The usual.
00:50:49He asked me if I had a boyfriend and what I like to do in my spare time.
00:50:53And what did you tell him?
00:50:54When?
00:50:55I asked if you had a boyfriend.
00:50:57Oh.
00:50:58Well, I said that there was this one boy I liked.
00:51:02I'm a man, okay?
00:51:03I'm not a boy.
00:51:05I got the bush to prove it.
00:51:07This is getting shifted, honestly.
00:51:08I'm getting the urge to blow a guy right now as we speak.
00:51:10Just go ahead, Danny Bonaduce.
00:51:12About time some young stuff busted your hymen.
00:51:14I'm sorry.
00:51:15Put blood all over the sheets.
00:51:17He can hang it from his balcony like they did in the 17th century to show he just slayed a virgin.
00:51:21Did you lose your virginity, too?
00:51:23Oh, Raquel Stevens.
00:51:25That girl was hot as shit, dude.
00:51:26No, she wasn't.
00:51:27She was.
00:51:28She looked like John Lithgow in Little Bottom.
00:51:30Are you fucking kidding me?
00:51:31She was from Puerto Rico.
00:51:32She wasn't a bald white guy.
00:51:33I don't think she was, John Lithgow.
00:51:36I don't think she was.
00:51:37She knew a lot about Third Rock from the Sun.
00:51:38She knew a lot about eating my ass, too.
00:51:45Check it out, buddy.
00:51:49Yeah.
00:51:52Okay.
00:51:58Right.
00:52:01Listen, can I call you back a little later?
00:52:05Yeah.
00:52:09Uh, the file marked Fuck Don, I take it?
00:52:12It should be.
00:52:26I was a little surprised there, huh, Don?
00:52:28I guess you didn't know you were fucking with Army Rangers, huh, did you?
00:52:39Oh, no.
00:52:40What is he doing?
00:52:41Oh, no.
00:52:43Okay.
00:52:45You cut the disc.
00:52:46What?
00:52:49Dude, you cut the disc in half.
00:52:50I have twelve more of them in my place.
00:52:53There's a black van out front with eight fucking duffel bags full of them, okay?
00:52:58Not a big deal.
00:52:59The van's being driven by Hannibal Smith.
00:53:03You fucked it up, man.
00:53:06Pretty good for that 18 reference.
00:53:09I was having dinner with a friend.
00:53:11Is there something wrong with that?
00:53:13Oh, I don't know. We could ask the mayor.
00:53:16Maybe for him something is wrong with it.
00:53:18Maybe.
00:53:19Unless he likes to jack off the pictures of you grabbing his wife's ass.
00:53:23Rob did.
00:53:24I certainly did.
00:53:25Sure was a neat buckling status, too, if I'm honest with you.
00:53:28You probably blew through the fucking toilet paper with him, didn't you?
00:53:30Yeah, I kind of did.
00:53:32What was it about?
00:53:33Sarah's a pretty good photographer, isn't she?
00:53:36Thank God she has the cameras, or it wouldn't have happened.
00:53:38I mean, we don't even own cell phones, but I don't really find them necessary.
00:53:43I really think Landline's going to be making a strong comeback, actually.
00:53:46I don't think so. I think they're done.
00:53:48Not too many white businesses have them anymore.
00:53:50Yeah, that's true.
00:53:54What do you want?
00:53:55For you to leave. What the hell do you think?
00:53:57What's the question with that?
00:53:58You're not in charge anymore, man.
00:54:00We are.
00:54:01Hey, welcome to the revolution.
00:54:04The future is now.
00:54:07Maybe you should try, like, doing porn or something.
00:54:09But you just got boned.
00:54:12Where'd you hear that?
00:54:13Made it up. You like it?
00:54:15Fuck it. It's not bad.
00:54:17It could grow on me. I have to hear it more times.
00:54:20Say it again.
00:54:21Say it one more time.
00:54:22Maybe you should do porn or something.
00:54:24But you just got boned.
00:54:26It is growing on me. I like it better the second time.
00:54:28Got boned.
00:54:29The third time, I'm liking it even more.
00:54:34So if I go, you won't release the pictures?
00:54:39No, there'd be no point.
00:54:41Just stay the fuck away from us.
00:54:44And occasionally, one stipulation, we might call you for money.
00:54:47If we ever hit, like, really bad times and stuff like that.
00:54:50Which I'm sure there will be.
00:54:51All the time.
00:54:52I mean, just think of it like this.
00:54:54We're the mafia. Just not a sheep, you know?
00:54:57So, will you give me until the end of the day to get my stuff together?
00:55:03Yes.
00:55:04Fine.
00:55:05It's gonna cost you, though.
00:55:06Yeah.
00:55:07A hundred dollars.
00:55:11Nice.
00:55:14Shit.
00:55:21Thirteen dollars.
00:55:24Get a couple of hoagies.
00:55:27Hoagies?
00:55:28Hoagies, yeah.
00:55:30Yeah.
00:55:31You know how many fucking hoagies I can get for a hundred dollars?
00:55:34Yeah, but how many hoagies can we get for thirteen?
00:55:40I'm going to the deli, okay?
00:55:42Pack up your shit, Daniel.
00:55:44Right.
00:55:45Tell Will Ferrell we said what's up to him.
00:55:47Tell him Land Before Time is a piece of shit, okay?
00:55:49She was exactly right.
00:55:52She was your height.
00:55:54The same face.
00:55:56Get him!
00:55:57That was your sister's birthday party, huh?
00:55:59A bunch of fucking ingrates.
00:56:01Get in the mood.
00:56:05Knock that off!
00:56:08You like that, big fella?
00:56:10Listen, I'll see you outside, all right?
00:56:12Listen, okay.
00:56:15So, by that smile on your face, it must have gone well.
00:56:18Yeah, of course it did.
00:56:19You expect anything less from two guys as formidable as that?
00:56:22You know, I notice every once in a while, you like to throw a big word into your sentence.
00:56:26Yeah, I do. It makes me sound more intelligent.
00:56:27Because I am not that smart.
00:56:28I know.
00:56:29Like, you hear me say discrepancy, and you can't help but do it the whole thing.
00:56:32You know, did Leonardo DiCaprio's co-captain brother just say what I think he said?
00:56:36Do you think you look like Leonardo DiCaprio?
00:56:38I think if he had a substance abuse problem, yeah.
00:56:42Thank God!
00:56:43Those two little shits are trying to blackmail me!
00:56:47Herman!
00:56:49I can hear you.
00:56:51It's not my problem.
00:56:52Oh, no?
00:56:54Well, listen to me.
00:56:55What do you think is going to happen if I leave?
00:56:58They're going to bring Terry McGill in here as the new director.
00:57:01Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't he the one that had something to do with your demotion a few years back?
00:57:07How'd you like another go-around on the back of a trash truck?
00:57:12What do you need from me?
00:57:14I need to get a hold of Sarah's camera.
00:57:15Go find her and keep her busy.
00:57:17How?
00:57:19For fuck's sake, think of something!
00:57:21I don't know, go have her go in the back and then play basketballs for all I care.
00:57:25You'll cop a feel.
00:57:26You don't get to look like you need one.
00:57:31Now, Herman!
00:57:44It's like in the movie The Game with asshole Michael Douglas.
00:57:47Did you ever see that?
00:57:49I don't think so.
00:57:50Is that where he has his Harold Slick back?
00:57:53When doesn't he have his Harold Slick back?
00:57:55With his smug fucking asshole face.
00:57:58I can only imagine that guy just snatched deep and canceled Zeta Jones.
00:58:03You probably would like to imagine that.
00:58:06It's like thinking about him trading stocks on you.
00:58:08Whatever.
00:58:09But Wall Street was a pretty good move.
00:58:10Wall Street, to me, was the only thing that he was good at.
00:58:13Like, he's not a bad actor, I just think he's pompous as shit and it bothers me.
00:58:16Yeah, but I mean, like, it doesn't matter though, it's a good movie.
00:58:19Yes, it was good.
00:58:20Oh, don't forget, we gotta make more copies of the pictures, okay?
00:58:23So we have, you know, backup.
00:58:25Yeah, I know, it's easy.
00:58:27It takes like ten seconds.
00:58:28Why are you bothering me with that?
00:58:30I'm just reminding you.
00:58:31Yeah, but I already know.
00:58:32That's the thing.
00:58:33When you say it again, you rehash stupid shit that I already know,
00:58:36then it makes me feel like I've got something else to do.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:39Then I remember, wait, I already have that to do.
00:58:41I'm just reminding you because I'm probably going to hang up Wall Street.
00:58:43I'm probably going to hang up Wall Street.
00:58:45I look like fucking The Rock in Walking Paul right now.
00:58:48Or Kevin Sorbo in the TV.
00:58:50What did you say?
00:58:52What?
00:58:53I'm going to hang up Wall Street.
00:58:56You're hanging out with that guy?
00:58:58Yeah, why?
00:58:59No, it's fine, it's just like you put it in my face like I should be jealous or something.
00:59:03I'm hanging out with Sarah, so it's no big deal.
00:59:06You're hanging out with Sarah tonight?
00:59:07Yes.
00:59:08You guys like going out like hanging out or like going out going out?
00:59:13You know, like going out going out or like going out going out?
00:59:16What the fuck are you trying to say?
00:59:18Are you going out with her?
00:59:20We're going to the movies tonight and we're going to go get something to eat at a restaurant.
00:59:25I don't understand why you can't compute shit like that.
00:59:28What is wrong with your brain?
00:59:30Nothing is wrong with you.
00:59:32Nothing, I can understand fucking normal shit.
00:59:35Whatever.
00:59:36I can formulate normal sentences.
00:59:38Nothing is wrong with me.
00:59:40It's kind of pathetic, you're like really all about this bitch.
00:59:43Are you fucking serious?
01:00:07Hey, I've got to go run an errand.
01:00:09I'll be right back.
01:00:10Make sure you stay here until all of this is finished.
01:00:19God, I can't fucking stand him.
01:00:21I feel wasteful without him.
01:00:37You've got to be kidding me.
01:00:58Well, that was easier than I thought.
01:01:06You are so fucking lucky that I don't just super kick your head off right now.
01:01:09I'm going to give you one option.
01:01:10Fuck off before I do, okay?
01:01:12Dude, just keep walking, okay?
01:01:14Alright, tough guy.
01:01:15Don't tell me to keep walking, okay?
01:01:17Don't let me see you at the fucking apartment later either.
01:01:19Yeah, I won't either, don't worry.
01:01:20Don't keep talking shit about me and Sarah.
01:01:21Yeah, you want to know something?
01:01:22What are you going to do, tough guy?
01:01:23Don't forget your fucking hotel deal, okay?
01:01:25You talk tough.
01:01:26So, the reason we couldn't get any further was you couldn't get that much copper out of the United States.
01:01:32We were looking all over the world for that.
01:01:35Anyway, he comes up from Trinidad.
01:01:38He's a big, big fish.
01:01:40I'm impressed.
01:01:41I've given him the nickel tour, showing him all through.
01:01:44We have the production facility.
01:01:46Sarah, you got a minute?
01:01:48My office.
01:01:51Anyway, he was a Buddhist.
01:01:59Have a seat.
01:02:01This is just going to take a second.
01:02:03You know, it seems I ran across some pictures I thought you might like to see.
01:02:08Let me just pull them up on this ridiculous Mac here.
01:02:11Sorry, I'm missing my PC.
01:02:13Okay, have a look at these.
01:02:16Where did you get that from?
01:02:21That's my camera!
01:02:22I know.
01:02:23Where did you get it from?
01:02:25Well, that doesn't really matter, does it?
01:02:27What really matters is what we're going to do about this situation.
01:02:31I presume you don't want any of these pictures getting out.
01:02:38I've already deleted all the ones of myself.
01:02:40How many copies were made?
01:02:43There was only one.
01:02:45Sarah, do I look like a fucking idiot?
01:02:48How many copies were made?
01:02:49And do not bullshit me.
01:02:51There was only one, I swear.
01:02:53There was only one, I swear.
01:02:56We were going to make more later.
01:02:58Do not lie to me!
01:03:00I'm not lying to you.
01:03:08Man, Sarah, you are really a freak in these pictures.
01:03:12Oh, that was my boyfriend's idea.
01:03:16I forgot they were even there.
01:03:18Please don't do anything with those, please.
01:03:21Holy shit, this dude is fucking shooting kevlar.
01:03:26God damn.
01:03:31Okay.
01:03:33I'm willing to do something for you.
01:03:35What?
01:03:36You wouldn't do anything.
01:03:52Are you okay, buddy?
01:03:55I wish I could say yes.
01:03:58What?
01:03:59Where is everybody?
01:04:07I'll be back, okay, dude?
01:04:10Please don't kill yourself.
01:04:14I'm sorry.
01:04:16I'm sorry.
01:04:18I'm sorry.
01:04:20You guys see?
01:04:23What's wrong with you?
01:04:26You may as well see it, Sarah.
01:04:28Please don't.
01:04:29Too late.
01:04:31What the fuck is that?
01:04:33Joe, listen to me.
01:04:35What the fuck?
01:04:36No, no, wait.
01:04:37Joe, listen to me.
01:04:38Listen to me.
01:04:39Listen to me.
01:04:45Come on in.
01:04:49This will only crash.
01:04:52Take your shoes off.
01:04:54Are you serious?
01:04:55Take your fucking shoes off.
01:04:58Okay.
01:05:00I like to keep a clean house.
01:05:02Yeah.
01:05:20It's bigger than it looks.
01:05:25Take a seat.
01:05:30Come on, there's plenty of room.
01:05:37No, not there.
01:05:39That's my mum's spot.
01:05:41Come on, shift.
01:05:42Shift up.
01:05:43That's it.
01:05:44Over.
01:05:45Yeah.
01:05:46Yeah, that's my favourite spot.
01:05:48Lost my virginity.
01:05:49Oh, that's the toilet.
01:05:52Oh, I lost my virginity there.
01:05:54She's a beautiful bird.
01:05:57She died.
01:05:58Soon after.
01:06:01I think if you look, you can still see the stains.
01:06:07So, er...
01:06:09Do you want to order a pie later?
01:06:12Yeah, I do need some.
01:06:14Oh, good.
01:06:15Good.
01:06:16I fancy a smoke and a bowl, what about you?
01:06:18Mum.
01:06:20No.
01:06:21It's been fucking alright, though.
01:06:24Mum.
01:06:47Mum.
01:07:00Hi, my name is Gina and I'm an addict.
01:07:02And what we're going to do is we're going to go down the line.
01:07:05We're going to start with one.
01:07:07You be in one, you be in two.
01:07:09Three, and so on.
01:07:11You want to start sharing?
01:07:14Hi, my name is Diana and I'm a crack whore.
01:07:17My name is Benny.
01:07:19I smoke weed, so...
01:07:21I don't know if I'm an addict, but I'm here because of probation and, um...
01:07:25They told me to say that.
01:07:27Make myself feel comfortable, so, uh...
01:07:29How you doing?
01:07:32Okay.
01:07:33So...
01:07:34I'm number seven, right?
01:07:36Uh, no.
01:07:37What we're doing is we're going down the line.
01:07:39Starting with number one, number two, and so on.
01:07:41Well, that's what the sheet says here. I'm just reading. I'm sorry.
01:07:45Okay.
01:07:46First off, let me be honest with you.
01:07:48I still don't really understand this numeral system we've got going on here.
01:07:51You know...
01:07:52She was up, he was up, and now...
01:07:54I guess I'm next in line, so...
01:07:55I'm going to take my chance if that's okay with you guys.
01:07:58Okay.
01:08:00Well...
01:08:01You know, the funny thing is about me not understanding the numeral system...
01:08:04Is...
01:08:05There was a time when I was pretty good at math.
01:08:07You know...
01:08:08Um...
01:08:09Then I guess that shit got harder.
01:08:11I started to notice that a lot of the numbers were disappearing, and it was a lot more weird symbols.
01:08:15So...
01:08:16At the point where...
01:08:18You know...
01:08:19Fucking math class started looking like...
01:08:21Trying to figure out the Stargate...
01:08:23I just kind of gave up.
01:08:25You know...
01:08:26If the movie Stargate taught us one thing, it's that all androgynous pharaohs from the future...
01:08:30Are pretty weird looking.
01:08:32And...
01:08:33That the only way you can deal with that many symbols is to blow it up with Kurt Russell.
01:08:36Or get a D in calculus.
01:08:38But anyways...
01:08:39Let me go on to kind of why I'm here.
01:08:41I have this habit of every day...
01:08:43Going out to the lake right by my house and feeding the ducks.
01:08:46You know...
01:08:47The ducks are all like pretty happy, always quacking, and...
01:08:49You know...
01:08:50A quack is sometimes much more fun to hear than like, you know...
01:08:52An angry person's voice, so...
01:08:53It's always refreshing, you know?
01:08:55Um...
01:08:56And you spend so much time listening to humans nowadays...
01:08:58It's nice to hear like a duck talk, because you don't hear that very often.
01:09:01You know...
01:09:02People say quack quack, but that's not even close to what they sound like.
01:09:05Um...
01:09:06Well...
01:09:07They love bagel chips.
01:09:09But that's a whole other story.
01:09:10Everything.
01:09:11Everything bagel chips.
01:09:12Plain, but not cinnamon raisin.
01:09:14And I can tell you guys this from experience.
01:09:16So...
01:09:17I used to go feed these motherfuckers every day, man.
01:09:19One day I decided to invite my friends out with me.
01:09:22To feed the ducks.
01:09:24And...
01:09:25We'd gotten particularly high that day.
01:09:26I treated them.
01:09:27That day actually happened to be the first day that we saw a baby duckling.
01:09:31Out on the lake.
01:09:33It was springtime.
01:09:34What do you expect, man?
01:09:35You know...
01:09:36Sometimes you're gonna find a duckling in the middle of springtime.
01:09:38Consider yourself lucky.
01:09:39So I thought.
01:09:40Unfortunately, this pond also happens to be inhabited by huge carp.
01:09:44Do you guys...
01:09:45Like, are you guys familiar with carp?
01:09:47You guys seen those motherfuckers around?
01:09:49Oh my god.
01:09:50Alright, well...
01:09:51I happen to think catfish look disgusting and look really silly sometimes.
01:09:55But these are a close second for like...
01:09:57You know...
01:09:58Dumbest looking fish.
01:10:00These carp were swimming around.
01:10:01These baby ducks were swimming around.
01:10:02Me and my friends were all pretty high.
01:10:05So yeah, the next thing...
01:10:06The next thing we knew...
01:10:09A carp...
01:10:11Ate the baby duck.
01:10:13One of those gross fish.
01:10:16I'm not even fucking with you guys.
01:10:19I'm serious.
01:10:22I didn't have to see that shit.
01:10:23None of us had to see that shit.
01:10:26And we were all so torn up about it.
01:10:27We felt, you know, you gotta feel partially responsible at that point.
01:10:31You know?
01:10:32How can you ever forgive yourself?
01:10:33It's a baby duck, man.
01:10:34You had a hand in that shit.
01:10:38I thought we were gonna be featured on like a Sarah Bacowin commercial or something.
01:10:41You know when she plays the guitar?
01:10:43And it's like sad animals?
01:10:45I could have been.
01:10:46It was that sad.
01:10:49So, anyways...
01:10:51I'm really, really sorry, but...
01:10:53I'm just not participating in your numeral system anymore.
01:10:55Sorry guys.
01:10:57I just don't really understand you.
01:10:59Um...
01:11:00And...
01:11:01Oh!
01:11:02I'm John, by the way.
01:11:03Guys, I realize I didn't introduce myself.
01:11:06But...
01:11:08At least you get to know a little bit about me tonight.
01:11:10Oh, and by the way, does anybody know what John is in Icelandic?
01:11:17Yo.
01:11:31Surprise.
01:11:33The moon.
01:11:37Surprise.
01:11:38The moon.
01:11:53Surprise.
01:11:54The moon.
01:12:01Surprise.
01:12:02The moon.
01:12:13Yo, what's...
01:12:14What's the word, you fucking...
01:12:16No good...
01:12:18Scummy earth...
01:12:19Fucking pole smoker, you?
01:12:24Oh shit, is this Kyle?
01:12:27Oh, fuck me.
01:12:28I'm sorry.
01:12:29I know this is...
01:12:30Jesus, what time is this?
01:12:31Like...
01:12:32I'm sorry.
01:12:33Like, it's pretty appropriate for me to be calling this late.
01:12:35I just...
01:12:36I thought this was a friend of mine.
01:12:37That's who I was trying to get in touch with.
01:12:39So, I'm sorry.
01:12:40I'm sorry if I woke you and your family.
01:12:42Um...
01:12:43I'm a nice guy.
01:12:44I didn't mean to do that.
01:12:45But, uh...
01:12:46I'm gonna let you get going.
01:12:47I'm gonna call him.
01:12:50And I might even call you back later.
01:12:51Because I like your voice.
01:12:53You sound like you should do books on tape.
01:12:56Maybe you could read, uh...
01:12:57The...
01:12:58The Da Vinci Code.
01:12:59I could see you pulling that off.
01:13:00But, I'm gonna let you get going.
01:13:01Because I got some business to take care of.
01:13:03So, have a good night.
01:13:04Sorry about that.
01:13:05Shit.
01:13:10Shit.
01:13:12Shit.
01:13:13Shit, shit, shit, shit.
01:13:27Yo, dude!
01:13:29What are you doing, man?
01:13:30You fucking...
01:13:31You...
01:13:32You piece of shit, you!
01:13:33You Irishman!
01:13:34You...
01:13:35You look like you're...
01:13:36Everything.
01:13:37I got a lot of bad words to say about you right now.
01:13:38What are you up to?
01:13:41Yeah, dude!
01:13:42I'm just...
01:13:43I'm just hanging out right now, man.
01:13:44Like, why else would...
01:13:45What do you think I'm calling you for right now?
01:13:46Ask yourself that question.
01:13:48Why else would I be calling you right now?
01:13:50To chat?
01:13:51Do I look like...
01:13:52Do I...
01:13:53Do I come off as the kind of guy who just calls to chat?
01:13:55Who calls to catch up and just shoot the breeze?
01:13:57To ask you...
01:13:58Ask you how your dog is?
01:14:00To ask you about your little sister's fucking calculus test?
01:14:02I don't care about that stuff.
01:14:03I'm calling you for one reason right now.
01:14:07Yeah, dude!
01:14:08I'm definitely...
01:14:09I'm definitely tuned up right now.
01:14:10I'm not...
01:14:11I'm not going to lie, but, you know...
01:14:12I'm trying to take it to that next level.
01:14:14The level that I invented.
01:14:16I don't want to remember my name in ten minutes, more or less.
01:14:19I want to...
01:14:20I want to forget what color pants I'm wearing,
01:14:22and I'm looking right at them.
01:14:26Dude, you got to be shitting me.
01:14:29Dude, if you're a...
01:14:30If you're a drug dealer and you don't have drugs,
01:14:32what's your point?
01:14:33Why do you exist?
01:14:35Why are you here?
01:14:40I'm sorry, dude.
01:14:41Like, I gotta...
01:14:42That's bullshit.
01:14:43Like, I'm going to say something...
01:14:44I wish death upon you and all of your loved ones,
01:14:47and a lot of people you've come in contact with.
01:14:49Like, people that you went to school with.
01:14:51Because you're letting me down right now.
01:14:53You're hurting me.
01:14:55No, dude.
01:14:56Fuck you, man.
01:14:57Fuck you.
01:14:59Fuck you, man.
01:15:00Don't...
01:15:01Don't tell me...
01:15:02Fuck...
01:15:03Like, fuckin' later, dude.
01:15:06Fuckin'...
01:15:07Man, I called this guy for no reason.
01:15:09Fuckin'...
01:15:10Fuck me?
01:15:17What'd you say?
01:15:19What's this, a wall right now?
01:15:22It is...
01:15:23It is asking for it.
01:15:24But it's holier-than-thou attitude.
01:15:26The way it...
01:15:27The way it kind of just stares at you.
01:15:29Well, I'll tell you what.
01:15:30I'm going to give you a pass.
01:15:32Right now.
01:15:33In this sweet spot.
01:15:35But I'll be back for you later.
01:15:38Let's say we're going to rendezvous here in 50.
01:15:41Okay?
01:15:44I'll be back.
01:16:01Oh, fuck it.
01:16:02Come on.
01:16:06Hello?
01:16:08Fuck it.
01:16:09What am I...
01:16:10What am I paying this guy...
01:16:11Yeah!
01:16:13Fuckin'...
01:16:15Five-second delay?
01:16:18I thought I was in my bathroom.
01:16:19Didn't know...
01:16:20Didn't know I was at the Grammys.
01:16:22Didn't know I was at the Grammys.
01:16:24And I had to have a five-second delay.
01:16:26In case...
01:16:27When using this product...
01:16:29Avoid alcoholic beverages.
01:16:31Yeah, you got it.
01:16:33You got it.
01:16:34I won't even fuckin' look at the stuff.
01:16:40I'm going to stay away from it.
01:16:42Fuckin'...
01:16:43Who do?
01:16:44They're trying to tell me what to do.
01:16:46But I'm like a guardian.
01:16:47You know?
01:16:48That's the thing about me.
01:16:50I don't really...
01:16:51I don't like people trying to tell me...
01:16:52You tell me what to do.
01:16:53And then I'm going to...
01:16:54I'm going to do it.
01:16:55And you're going to think,
01:16:56Well, he's a good listener.
01:16:57He's a good listener.
01:16:58He takes directions.
01:16:59He's a nice guy.
01:17:00But then, once you...
01:17:01Once you put your trust in me,
01:17:02I'm going to go back and I'm going to do
01:17:03what you told me not to do.
01:17:04And you're going to say,
01:17:05What the fuck?
01:17:06What's wrong with this kid?
01:17:08I thought I could fuckin' trust him.
01:17:09But then he fuckin'...
01:17:10He takes it too far.
01:17:20Fuckin'...
01:17:21Ooh!
01:17:23Oh my God, it's fuckin'...
01:17:25I...
01:17:26This might be enough to kill me.
01:17:29What...
01:17:30Is this...
01:17:31It's not...
01:17:32I don't even know...
01:17:34I guess I'm just going.
01:17:36I guess I'm just going, guys.
01:17:37Good tunes on the radio.
01:17:38At the very least,
01:17:39I'll sleep good tonight.
01:17:41I'm going to get a good night's sleep.
01:17:42And look at me for one second.
01:17:44Look at me for one second.
01:17:46You are high under a drink.
01:17:48There can be only one.
01:17:49There can be only one.
01:17:59Fuckin' queen!
01:18:19Fuckin'...
01:18:35All right!
01:18:41Hey.
01:18:45Can you please talk to me?
01:18:46Yeah.
01:18:48What's that smell?
01:18:51What happened to your forehead?
01:18:56It's nothing.
01:18:57Are you drunk?
01:19:00Why do you care, you know?
01:19:03Do I smell like piss at all, by the way?
01:19:06No.
01:19:07Were you drinking piss?
01:19:10Yeah, I was drinking piss.
01:19:12Because it's such a good chaser for whiskey.
01:19:15Can we please talk about yesterday?
01:19:18No.
01:19:29I just need to grab a few drinks.
01:19:31How was, um...
01:19:33Excuse me.
01:19:34How was Walter's last night?
01:19:35Great time.
01:19:36The guy's so funny, man.
01:19:38He really is.
01:19:40You, um...
01:19:42You staying out dragging tonight?
01:19:44Maybe. Why?
01:19:45It's not a reason.
01:19:46I'm just asking.
01:19:48Like, you can stay here if you want to.
01:19:50It's not a big deal.
01:19:53You want me to?
01:19:54I don't care.
01:19:55It's not for me.
01:19:56It's for you.
01:19:57Whatever you want to do.
01:20:01You can call him.
01:20:03No, no, no.
01:20:04I didn't hear a ring.
01:20:09Default message.
01:20:12Was that a cyborg?
01:20:13Dude, I think it was the Terminator.
01:20:14Dude, I think it was the Terminator.
01:20:16I'll be back.
01:20:18What?
01:20:19What?
01:20:20I'll be back?
01:20:21It's the only part of the movie I remember.
01:20:23Yeah, but it's from, like, 94.
01:20:26Step it up.
01:20:27We made two sequels.
01:20:28Next thing I know, you're going to be saying,
01:20:29Hasta La Vista, baby.
01:20:35I just fucked up, dude.
01:20:36You alright?
01:20:37I'm alright.
01:20:40I just want to apologize.
01:20:41Nah.
01:20:42Okay.
01:20:43I'm alright.
01:20:44I'll be right back.
01:20:45Aww.
01:20:46You guys got into a fight,
01:20:47and that was, like, your cute unofficial way of making up, huh?
01:20:51What?
01:20:52Yeah, seriously.
01:20:53Talking to me, or you?
01:20:54I know she was talking to me.
01:20:56Better not be talking to me.
01:20:57I keep these clothes hanging from the line.
01:20:58Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
01:20:59Yeah, good old US of A.
01:21:03Alright, well, listen.
01:21:05We never got to celebrate the other...
01:21:06Who the fuck was that?
01:21:07I like how you're just sitting around for me.
01:21:09I'm going like this,
01:21:10trying to tell you that we didn't celebrate.
01:21:11Yeah, but what is that?
01:21:12Who's this?
01:21:13Yeah.
01:21:14Last from the past?
01:21:15Brendan Fraser?
01:21:16Yeah, his father.
01:21:17What was his name?
01:21:18Christopher, um...
01:21:19Reeves?
01:21:20No, Walken, you idiot.
01:21:22I was going to say Reeves, actually.
01:21:23Yeah, you probably were.
01:21:24I always knew.
01:21:25That movie's the shit, dude.
01:21:26I always used to do that.
01:21:27Yeah.
01:21:28Every time that's on TBS late at night, I watch it.
01:21:29Elise Silverstone.
01:21:31Elise Silverstone?
01:21:32Is that a person?
01:21:33I don't know.
01:21:34What's her name?
01:21:35Alicia Silverstone.
01:21:36Whatever, dude.
01:21:37I'm clueless.
01:21:38Alright, that was well done.
01:21:42You down to celebrate, then?
01:21:43Dude, I would fucking love to celebrate.
01:21:44I'd even turn my face off.
01:21:45Problem?
01:21:46Yeah, we got a bit of a problem.
01:21:48She's pregnant?
01:21:49Are you serious?
01:21:50She's not pregnant, you fucking idiot.
01:21:52I haven't even fucked her yet.
01:21:53Really?
01:21:54Yeah, even though I just said I did.
01:21:55That was for a joke, but in real life, you know, I haven't.
01:21:58It was like pulling teeth the other day.
01:21:59She was scared to touch my dick.
01:22:00Really?
01:22:01Yeah.
01:22:02Oh my god!
01:22:03I'm sitting right here.
01:22:05Yeah, but it's true.
01:22:07Yeah, I'm not going to lie to my best friend.
01:22:09You know?
01:22:10Can't do it.
01:22:12No, but anyway, dude.
01:22:13Dawn got a hold of her camera.
01:22:15Worse than that, though, there were some pictures on there of her and her ex-boyfriend doing
01:22:18some stuff.
01:22:19What stuff?
01:22:20What do you think, though, though?
01:22:22Oh.
01:22:23Yeah, figure it out.
01:22:24Wow.
01:22:25Anyway, this guy said he's going to release it on everybody, unless you and I quit.
01:22:29He's going to fucking send it to my address, which is going to get me fired, too.
01:22:34Oh.
01:22:35That's crazy.
01:22:36God, it sounds like a fucking team.
01:22:38That's crazy, dude.
01:22:39God, it sounds like a fucking Tom Clancy novel right here.
01:22:41Are you serious?
01:22:42No.
01:22:43Yes, I'm serious.
01:22:44I wish I wasn't.
01:22:46God, this guy's, like, really good at being bad.
01:22:48So good at being bad.
01:22:50I'm kind of starting to root for the guy.
01:22:51Yeah, me too.
01:22:52I'm cheering for him.
01:22:54I'm on his side right now.
01:22:56Like, the less he likes us, the more I like him.
01:22:59I don't know what it is.
01:23:01I kind of hope you and I get fired and fucks my new girlfriend.
01:23:03Something about it.
01:23:05Well, I'm sure this picture with Don and Mary's wife was a one-time thing.
01:23:10Yeah, I imagine.
01:23:14I don't know, man.
01:23:15I've been trying to figure out since she told me.
01:23:18Ruined my buzz.
01:23:21Keep shit.
01:23:24You know, I did have one thing, though.
01:23:28Can you do me a favor?
01:23:29Can you come back over here when you get done work tonight?
01:23:31I might have an idea, but we're going to need some help.
01:23:34You think your boy Walter would be down to take one more shot at Don?
01:23:37Are you kidding me?
01:23:38The guy's wife dreams about Don's back.
01:23:41Is it weird that that turns me on?
01:23:43What doesn't turn you on?
01:23:44Yeah, I don't know.
01:23:45Women.
01:23:46Guys turn me on.
01:23:50What time's Walter coming over?
01:23:52You should be ready for that.
01:23:54I can't wait to see what concealed weapon he's carrying tonight.
01:23:57Hey, what are you thinking?
01:23:58357?
01:23:59I don't know.
01:24:00Big Mac 11?
01:24:02Does that even exist?
01:24:03Of course. I heard it in a rap song once.
01:24:04Ah, okay.
01:24:05Man, it definitely exists.
01:24:06Of course.
01:24:08Did you really enjoy sleeping at his house?
01:24:10God, no. Are you kidding me?
01:24:11It was fucking awful.
01:24:12Sleeping with one eye open like this.
01:24:14The whole entire night.
01:24:17It was pretty bad, I know.
01:24:18It was fucking nuts.
01:24:20It's probably the Zootiac right there.
01:24:22Yeah, I got that.
01:24:23Hey.
01:24:32Do you want to order food first?
01:24:34Sure.
01:24:35When do we eat?
01:24:44First we've got to figure out...
01:24:45You're okay.
01:24:47We've got to figure out what the hell we're doing before we go on the offensive, dude.
01:24:51Thought you had a plan?
01:24:52I said I might have a plan.
01:24:54There's still some shit I'm trying to work out.
01:24:55Like what?
01:24:58Alright.
01:25:01We all know Don has a weakness for the trim, right?
01:25:03Yeah.
01:25:04Now, mind you, this might sound a little fucked up, dude.
01:25:08I've known you for a while, but never had to ask you something like this before.
01:25:11Free your mind.
01:25:13Give me the Matrix right now, okay?
01:25:15Okay.
01:25:16Is there any way you can ask your little sister to skip school, come to the rec, and seduce Don?
01:25:21We've got a lot riding on this.
01:25:22No, no, no, no.
01:25:23Are you kidding me, dude?
01:25:24I'm so not going to ask my sister to do that.
01:25:26Is that your plan?
01:25:28Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?
01:25:30Nobody else is saying shit.
01:25:31I'm the only one fucking attempting to come up with something.
01:25:35Okay.
01:25:36What are our other options?
01:25:38It was him.
01:25:39Oh.
01:25:40I assumed he was going to say yes.
01:25:41I've known this guy for a long time.
01:25:42He told me some personal shit in third grade when my cousin was dating him.
01:25:47Are you serious?
01:25:48Yes, you have to.
01:25:50Why?
01:25:51Well, my uncle isn't the greatest fan of interracial dating.
01:25:59He'd be quite upset to know about her relations with several black students at her school.
01:26:08Any other questions?
01:26:10Yeah, why do you talk like that?
01:26:13She goes out with black dudes.
01:26:14There's nothing wrong with dating black guys.
01:26:16Yeah, yeah, she does.
01:26:17I mean, her dad wouldn't be too happy if he found out.
01:26:21First of all, did you hear that, Jeff?
01:26:23Sounds like your old lady's got a little experience with eggplant schlong.
01:26:28You said it, not me, sister.
01:26:30No, but...
01:26:31Relax.
01:26:32It's perfect, right?
01:26:33It's perfect.
01:26:34She works at placement, I mean, at Middle High.
01:26:37And she finishes at 12, so I could even go and pick her up on my lunch break.
01:26:41Middle High?
01:26:42How old is she?
01:26:4417.
01:26:4517?
01:26:46But she could actually pass for her early 20s.
01:26:50Is she hot?
01:26:52Very.
01:26:54Okay, hold on.
01:26:55I don't understand what's going on.
01:26:58Alright, take it easy for one second.
01:27:00It's pretty simple.
01:27:03Well, it's not simple, actually.
01:27:04It's fucking ingenious.
01:27:05Yeah, it definitely is.
01:27:06I came up with it.
01:27:07That's all I do, is make hits.
01:27:09Alright.
01:27:10Now, Walter's cousin.
01:27:11What's her name there?
01:27:12Chief?
01:27:13Camp.
01:27:16Do you hang out with this guy?
01:27:21Alright, alright.
01:27:22Alright.
01:27:24Kim is going to come into the rec and seduce Don.
01:27:27She's going to try and flirt with him, and toy with him, play with his balls,
01:27:31just long enough for us to call in reinforcements to catch him in the act.
01:27:36You don't think that could cause some long-term psychological damage?
01:27:42Sorry, guys.
01:27:43You know what I mean?
01:27:44It's just a good thing.
01:27:45If I didn't see my fat pig of a babysitter sucking off that biker guy who's old as shit,
01:27:50and this monk's cock, and I was underneath his bed when it was going on,
01:27:54I wouldn't be who I am today.
01:28:00Kim will be fine.
01:28:02She'll be doing the best thing for her.
01:28:05For everyone.
01:28:08We might not be able to get those pictures back, but if we do this,
01:28:11it should be enough to get rid of Don.
01:28:15Fuck it.
01:28:16I'm responsible for those pictures getting out in the first place.
01:28:20I'm just going to fucking bring him down.
01:28:25Alright, so we're good to go, then?
01:28:27All we need is Herman.
01:28:29We can't do this without him, but...
01:28:32I don't know. I don't see why it would be a problem, you know?
01:28:35Yeah.
01:28:36Alright, we'll talk to him.
01:28:38You've got to be fucking kidding me.
01:28:39You've been helping Don?
01:28:40I had to.
01:28:41He said if he got fired, they'd make Terry McGill the new director.
01:28:45Isn't that the guy who made you turn into a garbage man a while back?
01:28:48That's right.
01:28:49No, Al.
01:28:51This dude's been smelling like shit for about a month.
01:28:53He definitely did.
01:28:54Caught you running personal errands or some shit on company time?
01:28:57Man, what a snitch.
01:28:59Yeah, well, Don also has helped me realize
01:29:01how terrible you guys have been treating me for the last ten years.
01:29:05You've got to be kidding me.
01:29:06I'm just fucking with you, okay?
01:29:08You know we love you, dude.
01:29:09Yeah, right.
01:29:11We never meant to do anything mean to you, dude.
01:29:13Honestly, okay?
01:29:15What about that time you replaced your hot dog with a dog turd?
01:29:17Remember that?
01:29:18I remember.
01:29:19Alright.
01:29:20Yeah, you were a piss at first,
01:29:21but when we gave you your real lunch back,
01:29:23I thought it was pretty damn funny.
01:29:24I thought it was hilarious.
01:29:25I thought it was fucking hilarious.
01:29:26I thought it was hilarious to the oomph power.
01:29:28Oomph power?
01:29:29Oomph.
01:29:31Oomph power. It's a mathematical thing.
01:29:33Alright.
01:29:34What about that time that guy was getting nuts on you
01:29:35because he kicked his kid out of the gym?
01:29:37That dude was going with a car to get a set of golf clubs
01:29:39to beat the shit out of you.
01:29:40Who had your back?
01:29:41We did.
01:29:42Okay?
01:29:43Because we're like family.
01:29:44Yeah.
01:29:45Alright?
01:29:46Yeah, we fight.
01:29:47We fuck around.
01:29:48But at the end of the day,
01:29:49we just hope we fuck the same way.
01:29:51What about the time you siphoned all the gas out of my car?
01:29:56Forgot about that.
01:29:57Yeah, so did I.
01:29:58I mean, there was no joke behind that one.
01:30:00No, there was, bro.
01:30:01Our apologies, okay?
01:30:02She later backed into my car and busted the taillight.
01:30:05So, that's it, okay?
01:30:06We're even.
01:30:07Just forget it.
01:30:08Just set it and forget it.
01:30:10Alright?
01:30:11If you want us to stop, we will, okay?
01:30:13We never meant to upset you.
01:30:14Honestly.
01:30:16Look, I mean,
01:30:18if we still have jobs tomorrow,
01:30:21then no more jokes.
01:30:22That's what you want.
01:30:27Then,
01:30:29who am I going to mess with?
01:30:32Oh my God, look at him.
01:30:33He's creeping as shit.
01:30:35Get this fucker.
01:30:36Get this asshole.
01:30:37Oh.
01:30:39Jeez.
01:30:40Get off of me.
01:30:41Let go of me.
01:30:43Get your dick.
01:30:44Get your dick.
01:30:45No.
01:30:48Alright, relax.
01:30:49Okay?
01:30:57Alright, buddy.
01:30:58Look, all we need from you tomorrow is to make a call to Steve.
01:31:01Alright?
01:31:02We're going to take care of the rest.
01:31:03What do we need with a business administrator?
01:31:05Because he's the only one who can do anything about Don, okay?
01:31:08Plus, he's the only one who's got our backs.
01:31:10Yeah.
01:31:11What about Terry McGill?
01:31:12God, did you shut up, Herman?
01:31:15We're going to cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?
01:31:17Until then, this is what's important.
01:31:19Okay?
01:31:20So we need to know if you're in or not.
01:31:25I trust you guys.
01:31:27Alright.
01:31:28That's all we need.
01:31:29I don't want to shake your hand.
01:31:30Alright, buddy?
01:31:31I'll do the pound, okay?
01:31:33Alright, have a good night, man.
01:31:34We're going to talk to you tomorrow.
01:31:35Maybe next time you can invite us in.
01:31:37It would be nice to see the inside.
01:31:47What the hell is this shit?
01:31:49It's game time.
01:31:50What, are you going to take him to the fucking mall chop afterwards?
01:31:52We're not trying to look tough.
01:31:54We're trying to look crushed, defeated.
01:31:56We've lost our jobs.
01:31:58We're not walking around like fucking Danny Zuko and his cronies.
01:32:01Yeah, good point.
01:32:02Okay?
01:32:03Yeah.
01:32:04Let's finish it.
01:32:05Let's do it.
01:32:06Act as if you've got a nine-inch car.
01:32:08Act as if you've got a nine-inch
01:32:10Act as if you've got a nine-inch car.
01:32:19I know this is October 8th, right?
01:32:21So I'm looking down the list here.
01:32:23Oh, I see.
01:32:30Oh, it's about time.
01:32:31Would you all excuse us, please?
01:32:41Nice tiger mustache.
01:32:43You know, I like how you finally got a nameplate after being here for like a month.
01:32:48Well, it's not quite a month for your information.
01:32:51And also, the supply company fucked up my order a couple of times,
01:32:55so it takes a little bit longer than normal.
01:32:59Thank you.
01:33:02So, you guys spoke to Sarah?
01:33:05Yeah, that's right.
01:33:08And?
01:33:10That's it, man. You win.
01:33:13I told Joe that he'd be kind of fucked with you, but he wanted to try anyway.
01:33:17We'll work out this.
01:33:19Wow, Joe. You know, I thought you were the smart one.
01:33:22Looks like I was wrong.
01:33:24It appears Rob's been the brains the entire time.
01:33:27You should have listened to him.
01:33:29Yeah, you're right. I should have.
01:33:31God damn, this feels good.
01:33:33You know, I can't remember the last time I got such great news.
01:33:36I have finally done what nobody else has been able to do in less than a month.
01:33:41You gotta admit, that is pretty fucking special.
01:33:44There's one stipulation, though.
01:33:47We get to finish out the pay period.
01:33:49We work today, tomorrow, and that's it. We're done.
01:33:52We give the papers to Steve ourselves.
01:33:54No.
01:33:56No what?
01:33:58You can finish out the pay period, but your paperwork goes through me.
01:34:02I want to see them with my own eyes.
01:34:04Kind of like the icing on the cake.
01:34:07Didn't you get rid of Sarah's photos?
01:34:10That was the deal, wasn't it?
01:34:12Okay. How do we know you didn't make any extras?
01:34:14You don't.
01:34:19The kitchen and the gym floor need to be swept.
01:34:22You guys figure out who does what.
01:34:25Let's get the fuck out of here.
01:34:33I don't know how this shit works.
01:34:35You'll know in a few hours.
01:34:36Ew, did you just take a huge dump in there?
01:34:38Shut up. How did it go?
01:34:40We're set. Carmen's on board, too.
01:34:42Did you talk to Walter?
01:34:44Yeah, the guy called me two o'clock in the morning,
01:34:46saying that he took his convincing of his cousin, but she's down.
01:34:49Good. I really hope this works.
01:34:52Yeah, us too.
01:34:54See you guys later.
01:34:55Later.
01:35:00You know, I always wanted to ask you this.
01:35:02Why do you guys have a MacBook here?
01:35:04We used to have a Dell, but it got corrupted by a Trojan.
01:35:07MacBooks are awesome.
01:35:08They're like 99% resistant to viruses.
01:35:10You can put whatever you want on them.
01:35:12Oh, like porn?
01:35:13Yeah, like monster cops.
01:35:19Recreation, this is Don speaking.
01:35:24Yeah, hold on a minute.
01:35:29Hello?
01:35:30Oh, what's up?
01:35:32Alright, definitely. Alright, talk to you later.
01:35:34Bye.
01:35:36Who was that?
01:35:37My cousin. Why?
01:35:39That's strange, because he sounded familiar.
01:35:42Have you ever been to San Francisco?
01:35:45No.
01:35:46That is weird.
01:35:54I'm gonna go get some water. Anybody want anything?
01:35:56I'm fine, thanks.
01:36:02Hello?
01:36:03I'm in the stall.
01:36:05What are you doing, taking a shit?
01:36:06No, dude, I'm wiping my ass. For some reason I have major leakage.
01:36:10Who was that on the phone?
01:36:11Uh, Walter. They're on their way.
01:36:13Alright, cool.
01:36:25Are you peaking?
01:36:27I was trying to, yeah.
01:36:28Oh my god, you freak.
01:36:33How was it?
01:36:35That swamp ass is gonna be the death of me, I'm telling you.
01:36:38I wish.
01:36:40Shut up.
01:36:41Let's go outside and wait for these people.
01:36:43Alright, sounds good.
01:36:48Hey.
01:36:49Hey.
01:36:50Hey.
01:36:51Hey.
01:36:53Dude, it's unbelievable, you know?
01:36:56I thought we had it down with those pictures.
01:37:00Yeah.
01:37:01It's just our luck, too, you know?
01:37:04It could be raining pussy, and we'll still get hit in the head with a dick.
01:37:09That was pretty stupid.
01:37:11I don't like that at all.
01:37:13I heard it in a movie once.
01:37:15Lose it.
01:37:16That's them right there.
01:37:23I'm sorry.
01:37:41Did you get a haircut?
01:37:43No.
01:37:46It's a good thing you're wearing a GNC hat, you know?
01:37:48When I think vitamins and supplements and health, I think about you.
01:37:55Hey.
01:37:57How you doing?
01:37:58Don't talk to me.
01:37:59I'm only here because of Walter.
01:38:02You are one silver tongue devil.
01:38:04So where's this Don guy at?
01:38:06He's inside in the office.
01:38:07I'm gonna take you in and tell him that you're here to fill out a job application, okay?
01:38:11Flirt with the guy, whatever.
01:38:14Try and get him into the back room near the kitchen if you can, okay?
01:38:17Anybody got a cigarette?
01:38:27You want me to blow him?
01:38:30Not especially.
01:38:32Just make out with him or something. Long enough for us to bust in.
01:38:35I can blow him if you want me to.
01:38:38Nice.
01:38:40Alright, I'm gonna take her in, I guess.
01:38:43Good luck.
01:38:44Okay, and you stay out here, okay?
01:38:46Because if Don sees you, it'll fuck up everything.
01:38:50Keep an eye on this guy.
01:38:51Yeah, I will.
01:38:58Can I help you?
01:39:01Alright then, the director's fucking hungry eyes elsewhere, okay?
01:39:08Hey, my shirt.
01:39:09This is Kim.
01:39:10He's here to apply for a position.
01:39:11Hi, Kim. I'm Howard, Recreation Director.
01:39:15Hey guys, there's a dog out front taking a huge shit. Go watch it.
01:39:27You're a very beautiful young woman.
01:39:29Thank you.
01:39:31Which position were you planning on applying for?
01:39:34Whatever. I'll pretty much do anything.
01:39:37Can you work weekends, nights, and holidays?
01:39:39Of course. I'm very flexible.
01:39:42Flexible?
01:39:44I like that.
01:39:47No, I'm just saying the reason I love fat chicks is because, it's like, I'm a tit man.
01:39:51And tits are comprised of fat, you know?
01:39:53So when you're with a big fat chick, basically her whole body is like one big tit, you know?
01:39:57Yeah.
01:39:58I mean, I can feel her elbows. It's like a goddamn 36DD.
01:40:02Give me that, right?
01:40:03Can I get that?
01:40:05That's pretty good.
01:40:06Herman, what are you thinking of? You like him?
01:40:08It's like body surfing.
01:40:11You know, you're riding up there.
01:40:14I don't know what the fuck this guy's talking about.
01:40:16What is he talking about?
01:40:17What I like is that, because their whole body is nothing but fat, you can like, you don't even need titty fucking.
01:40:23You can fuck them in the knees.
01:40:25You know, you can just stick your dick in between the knees.
01:40:28Knee fucking, you know?
01:40:30Right? I think that's going to be the next big thing.
01:40:32That's what my grandkids are going to be doing. They're going to be knee fucking.
01:40:36Instead of titty fucking?
01:40:37Titty fucking is going to be long gone. That's going to be dead. That's obsolete.
01:40:40It's so wrong.
01:40:41It's going to be knee fucking, you know?
01:40:45Special condoms.
01:40:47Exactly for knee fucking? I could see that, yeah.
01:40:52Ribbed.
01:40:53They already have ribbed.
01:40:54For extra sensation, I mean.
01:40:56Okay.
01:40:58That probably weighs off. That probably hasn't even been invented yet.
01:41:00Musical.
01:41:01Why the fuck is this taking so long? They've been there for like 15 minutes.
01:41:05What, did you expect her to just go up and say,
01:41:07Hey, you want to fuck me in the back room?
01:41:10Yes, I did.
01:41:11No.
01:41:12Think positive.
01:41:13Yeah, it says this guy's job isn't on the line.
01:41:16Drink your water, okay, pal?
01:41:17Shrek.
01:41:22So, aren't you going to take me on a tour?
01:41:24Sure.
01:41:26If you'd like.
01:41:28Oh, you can leave that there. Nobody will touch it.
01:41:35So, this is the break room.
01:41:39Where everybody in the office seems to be on break.
01:41:43So, let's get back to work, people.
01:41:45What's in that back room?
01:41:52Now.
01:41:56I have to go in and make the call, honey.
01:41:59I have to go in and make the call, honey.
01:42:14I like the lights off.
01:42:18So do I.
01:42:20Depending on what I'm doing.
01:42:29What's wrong?
01:42:31Nothing.
01:42:33Can you give me just a second, please?
01:42:39Peterson.
01:42:41Motherfucker.
01:42:45I see you're up to your old tricks, Walter.
01:42:51Everything okay?
01:42:54Everything is great.
01:42:56Everything is great.
01:43:00What are you doing?
01:43:01You are trying to set me up.
01:43:02You're helping that fucking freak, Walter.
01:43:05Who else is in on this, bitch?
01:43:06Get off of me.
01:43:07What the fuck is going on?
01:43:08Let go of me, asshole.
01:43:09You better tell me right now.
01:43:18You set this shit up.
01:43:19Let go of me, asshole.
01:43:20What are you doing, man? What are you crazy?
01:43:21You fucking prick. You just don't fucking learn, do you, you fucking little prick?
01:43:24You're strong as shit.
01:43:25You're like 50 years old, aren't you?
01:43:28What happened?
01:43:29He knew what was going on.
01:43:30What, nobody works in the office anymore?
01:43:32Steve, what's up, buddy?
01:43:33How's it going, bud?
01:43:34Good, man.
01:43:35Hi, Steve. How's it going?
01:43:36How's it going?
01:43:38You said Don was having sex with a woman?
01:43:41We didn't have sex.
01:43:43Where's Don right now?
01:43:44He's in the back.
01:43:45Let's go in the back.
01:43:46Alright.
01:43:47Better not be wasting my time, huh?
01:43:49And there is not one fucking person in this shitty little town that's going to take your word over mine.
01:43:54Not even that pretentious asshole, Steve.
01:43:56I'm telling you, I am at the end of my fucking road.
01:43:59Your stupid face, your fucked up attitude, that sorry excuse of a sense of humor you have.
01:44:04I'm going to find out about you sooner or later, dickhead.
01:44:06You don't even recognize that you fucked his wife?
01:44:09Richard's is clueless.
01:44:10Besides, he's on his way out, so who gives a rat's ass?
01:44:13Besides, if he was taking care of her at home, I wouldn't have to.
01:44:16Don't try to spit it like you're doing some good deed.
01:44:18You're just some sick sexual fucking deviant who's trying to get laid.
01:44:20That's why you've been trying to bang Sarah non-stop this past month, dick.
01:44:23Always a fucking clown.
01:44:25If you never just shut the fuck up, you always have to have the last word, don't you?
01:44:28That's why you don't like robbing me?
01:44:30That's why you've been trying to fire us and fucking make everybody else miserable?
01:44:32Because we like to have fun?
01:44:33That's right.
01:44:34It's finally over and done with.
01:44:35You two assholes will be gone in a week, and I'll be fucking your girlfriend, Sarah.
01:44:39That is, if she wants to keep her job.
01:44:46Can you do me one favor, though?
01:44:48Can you say I played this city like the harp from hell?
01:44:56I think it goes without saying that you're fired, Dom.
01:44:59And on top of what you heard him confess to,
01:45:01what you didn't see was he tried to have his way with me.
01:45:07And I don't know if that's blood or revenge, but it tastes sweet, dude.
01:45:10Ah, Stephanie, fuck him.
01:45:11I had his boss.
01:45:12I think he broke my nose.
01:45:14Let's get out of here and call the police.
01:45:21Piece of shit.
01:45:25Now you see what we've been dealing with?
01:45:27It's been a nightmare.
01:45:29You wouldn't believe what we had to do to keep our job, Steve.
01:45:31Rob had to sleep with him just to keep his job.
01:45:33What? No, I didn't.
01:45:34Yes, you did. It's okay. It's done.
01:45:36Don't talk to him.
01:45:37I can't apologize enough to you guys.
01:45:39I had absolutely no idea any of this was going on.
01:45:42And speaking off the record,
01:45:44it'd probably be best if we kept this between us, for image reasons.
01:45:48Yeah, but I'd like to talk about that.
01:45:50Okay, Steve?
01:45:51You girls give us a minute, please?
01:45:57Speaking on the record here, dude,
01:45:59I think it's a disgrace that this guy's been getting away with this shit for so long.
01:46:04You know, something needs to be done about this.
01:46:06It'd be a hell of a story if it were to get out.
01:46:08It's just something you want.
01:46:09Only for things to go back to the way they were.
01:46:11And it's not going to happen by bringing in some unqualified dildo like Terry McGill.
01:46:15The only person who should be rec director is Herman.
01:46:17What does Terry McGill have to do with this?
01:46:19Since Don's gone, it'll be Herman by default.
01:46:22Assuming he still wants the job.
01:46:23No, he wants it.
01:46:24He deserves it.
01:46:27All right, bud. Thank you, man.
01:46:28Thanks a lot again.
01:46:29Real quick, by the way,
01:46:30we also think Don might have been involved in some terrorist activity.
01:46:33So if you guys want to, you know,
01:46:34you want to tell some people to seize his computers, his files,
01:46:37all the shit at home in case there's any links to Al-Qaeda or anything like that.
01:46:41Should be, yeah.
01:46:42Thanks for the tip.
01:46:43You guys are just doing our jobs as Americans.
01:46:48It's good shit, huh, man?
01:46:49Absolutely.
01:46:50Got a little blood right there.
01:46:51Yeah, I can feel it.
01:46:52You got me good.
01:46:53What's it taste like?
01:46:54Tastes like blood.
01:46:55Aw, babe, are you okay?
01:46:57Yeah, I'm okay.
01:46:58It's just that I got head-butted in the face.
01:47:01You guys did a good job, though.
01:47:03Thank you.
01:47:04Good try.
01:47:05Good shit, huh, buddy?
01:47:06Definitely.
01:47:08All right, well,
01:47:09considering we're all already here and stuff,
01:47:11I just want to tell you guys something.
01:47:13You're gay.
01:47:14Good one.
01:47:15Shut up.
01:47:16I'm thinking about actually quitting.
01:47:18Actually, I am going to quit.
01:47:20Are you serious?
01:47:21Yeah.
01:47:22Why?
01:47:23I've been thinking a lot about that whole bar thing.
01:47:25I have classes up in Northbrook starting next month,
01:47:28so by then I'll be looking for a new job.
01:47:32Is that what you want to do?
01:47:34Yeah, it is.
01:47:35Yeah, it is.
01:47:37I'm happy for you, buddy.
01:47:38Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
01:47:40What about you?
01:47:41You gonna stay?
01:47:42Yeah, I'm gonna stay.
01:47:43I like it here, I think.
01:47:45Yeah, I think it might be fun.
01:47:48I got her.
01:47:50That's all you need.
01:47:51She's my little sugar plum.
01:47:54It's good.
01:47:56Everything's going to be okay.
01:47:57Absolutely.
01:47:58Especially when I'm riding her.
01:48:01Oh, stop it.
01:48:06All right.
01:48:07Let me need Budweiser, Mellow Light, Bud Light, Ice House, Ultra Light, Hot.
01:48:12All we got left is Rainer, though.
01:48:18Hey, somebody tell the bartender there's a rat in my peanuts.
01:48:21I'm gonna get his head out of his ass.
01:48:23Ah, what's up there?
01:48:24It's a whole rec crew.
01:48:25How we doing?
01:48:26How's it going, bud?
01:48:27Good, man. You?
01:48:28All right, dude.
01:48:30You don't have to get that.
01:48:32Hi, Sam.
01:48:33Hi, Walter.
01:48:34How's, uh...
01:48:36everything?
01:48:39Um, everything's good.
01:48:40What are you guys talking about?
01:48:42Hi, Sam.
01:48:43What's going on, bud?
01:48:45Not a lot. How's, uh...
01:48:46How's school?
01:48:47It's good, man.
01:48:48Just trying to get through it, you know?
01:48:49What are you doing?
01:48:50Going for a Bachelor's of Science degree in Parks and Recreation.
01:48:53With animals?
01:48:55That's like business shit, dude.
01:48:57So when Herman leaves, I can get his job.
01:48:59You wish.
01:49:00Dude, I'll just run you out of there.
01:49:01It's not a problem.
01:49:02In a second.
01:49:03Yo, don't forget, Bruce is coming down this weekend.
01:49:05Make sure you got all.
01:49:06What, this weekend?
01:49:08Are you stupid?
01:49:09I told you about this, like, two weeks ago.
01:49:11Shit.
01:49:12Hey, what's up?
01:49:15Uh, you can't come here.
01:49:16I know that, okay?
01:49:17I almost got fired the other day.
01:49:19I know, I'm sorry, but I was passing by
01:49:21and I thought I'd stop in and say hi.
01:49:23What's up?
01:49:24You still coming over tonight?
01:49:25Uh, your parents still here?
01:49:26They left this morning.
01:49:27Sweet!
01:49:28Sounds good.
01:49:29I'll be there, all right?
01:49:30I'll call you.
01:49:31Okay.
01:49:32I'll talk to you later.
01:49:33Love you.
01:49:34Love you, too.
01:49:35Hey, cuz.
01:49:38What?
01:49:39You sick fuck.
01:49:40What?
01:49:41Don't you see?
01:49:42You stopped talking to her.
01:49:43Dude, I tried to, okay?
01:49:44But once I unleashed my fucking anaconda,
01:49:46she was all over it, okay?
01:49:47Really?
01:49:48Yes.
01:49:49All right?
01:49:50Like, she was spellbound.
01:49:51Dude, she was dickbound.
01:49:52Dickbound, holy shit.
01:49:53I know.
01:49:54Come on.
01:49:55She's 17, Rob.
01:49:5617.
01:49:57Yeah, I know.
01:49:58You said it once.
01:49:59I just said it twice, all right?
01:50:00She turns 18 in a couple weeks,
01:50:01not a big deal, okay?
01:50:02What, so it doesn't bother you
01:50:03that this 26-year-old pervert
01:50:04is banging your underage cousin?
01:50:06Relax, all right?
01:50:07You're just telling the truth.
01:50:08Yeah, well, don't worry, okay?
01:50:10We both agree,
01:50:11when she turns 18,
01:50:13that's it, all right?
01:50:14Until then, it's strictly blowjobs.
01:50:16Five to six times a day.
01:50:17Jesus, that's a lot of blowjobs.
01:50:18It's a lot.
01:50:19Once she gets drunk once in a while,
01:50:20it's strictly brimjobs.
01:50:21Brimjobs?
01:50:22Holy shit, she eats your ass?
01:50:23I like it.
01:50:24Yeah, well, she has as well as she does,
01:50:26all right, so...
01:50:27Well done.
01:50:28Thank you.
01:50:29What is this guy talking about?
01:50:30I don't know.
01:50:31He's your boy.
01:50:32Whatever.
01:50:33That's fucking sad.
01:50:34So, um, Walter,
01:50:35I'm cooking dinner at Joe and Rob's place
01:50:37Friday night.
01:50:38Do you want to come over?
01:50:41Walter?
01:50:42Dude, relax, boy.
01:50:43You coming over for dinner this Friday night?
01:50:44She's making a lasagna.
01:50:45It's awesome.
01:50:46And she's making two steaks
01:50:47smothered in underwear for Rob.
01:50:49What color underwear?
01:50:51Pink blue.
01:50:52Royal blue.
01:50:55What about you, Herman?
01:50:56You want to come over for dinner?
01:50:57Yeah.
01:50:58I've got plans.
01:50:59What?
01:51:00What could you possibly be doing
01:51:01if you're not at the rec?
01:51:02Seriously.
01:51:03Jeopardy.
01:51:047.30.
01:51:05That shit's still on the air?
01:51:06You're darn right it is.
01:51:07I thought that died like five years ago
01:51:08with Alex Trebek and that plane crash.
01:51:10No, no, no.
01:51:11That wasn't Alex Trebek.
01:51:13He shaved his mustache.
01:51:14That was the worst that happened.
01:51:19So let me ask you a question.
01:51:20How many guys would you say
01:51:21you give your number to on a nightly basis?
01:51:23Fuck you, dude.
01:51:24Some hot bitch came in the other day
01:51:25and gave me her number.
01:51:26Oh, yeah?
01:51:27I don't have it on me.
01:51:28It's at the house.
01:51:29Okay, show it to me when you get home.
01:51:31I think I left it in my pant pocket.
01:51:34Okay, show me the pants.
01:51:36I did a load of laundry this morning,
01:51:39so it's probably in the pants.
01:51:41They were in the pants?
01:51:42Yeah.
01:51:44So it's destroyed?
01:51:45Is that what you're telling me?
01:51:46Yeah.
01:51:47So it's basically bullshit?
01:51:48No, it's not bullshit, dude.
01:51:49I get fucking hot chicks
01:51:50coming here all the time
01:51:51begging for my dick.
01:51:52You think this guy gets any women?
01:51:53Fuck you.
01:51:54I think Herman probably gets more.
01:51:55I would say so, too.
01:51:56I think he's on the Munsters
01:51:57and in Pet Sematary.
01:51:59Was he?
01:52:00He looks like the guy.
01:52:01What's his name?
01:52:02I don't know.
01:52:03He told me that's where
01:52:04the dead walk.
01:52:05Really?
01:52:06You're talking about Fred Gwynn?
01:52:07Fred Gwynn.
01:52:08May he rest in peace.
01:52:09Fred Gwynn.
01:52:10He looks like Fred Gwynn.
01:52:11He kind of does, actually.
01:52:13He buried his dog in the Pet Sematary
01:52:15years back when the dog came back.
01:52:17The Indian burial ground?
01:52:18Yeah.
01:52:19Holy shit.
01:52:20Whatever.
01:52:21You guys want something to drink?
01:52:22I would take, like, a beer.
01:52:23Yeah?
01:52:24Finally.
01:52:25I've got a break,
01:52:26so you're going to have to wait
01:52:27until Lily gets over here, alright?
01:52:28Lily has been okay.
01:52:29You'll see her, okay?
01:52:30You read my cousin,
01:52:31you son of a bitch!
01:52:49You don't think that could cause
01:52:51some long-term psychological damage?
01:52:55You know what I mean?
01:52:56Damage is a good thing.
01:52:57If it hadn't been for my
01:52:58fat pig of, what,
01:52:59babysitter, I think it was?
01:53:00Yeah.
01:53:01Sorry.
01:53:02Can I start from that again?
01:53:04Instead of a hospital?
01:53:08Damage.
01:53:09You know what I mean?
01:53:10It's a good thing.
01:53:11If it hadn't been for my
01:53:12fat pig of a babysitter
01:53:13sucking off, what,
01:53:14that old-ass biker guy
01:53:15back when I was in the second grade?
01:53:17He had a humongous cock,
01:53:18dude, by the way.
01:53:24You know what I mean?
01:53:25Damage is a good thing.
01:53:26If it hadn't been for,
01:53:27what, me seeing my
01:53:28fat pig of a babysitter
01:53:29when I was in the second grade,
01:53:31she was sucking off, what,
01:53:32that old-ass biker guy.
01:53:36Don't you think that could
01:53:37cause some long-term
01:53:38psychological damage?
01:53:40What did you say?
01:53:41Psychological?
01:53:42No.
01:53:43Damage is a good thing.
01:53:48Damage.
01:53:49You know what I mean?
01:53:50Damage is a good thing.
01:53:51If it hadn't been for my
01:53:52fat pig of a babysitter
01:53:53sucking off, what,
01:53:54that old-ass biker guy.
01:53:55Oh my God,
01:53:56I have to go to the bathroom.
01:53:57I can't do this.
01:54:03Damage.
01:54:04Damage is a good thing.
01:54:05If it hadn't been for,
01:54:06what, me seeing my
01:54:07fat pig of a babysitter
01:54:08when I was in the second grade,
01:54:09she was sucking off, what,
01:54:10that old-ass biker guy.
01:54:12Damage.
01:54:13Are you kidding me?
01:54:14Damage is a good thing.
01:54:16What's up with your story?
01:54:17Pretty funny, actually.
01:54:21Let me tell you,
01:54:22Damage is a good thing, honestly.
01:54:25If it hadn't been for me
01:54:26seeing my fat pig of a babysitter
01:54:28sucking off that old-ass
01:54:30disgusting biker dude
01:54:31back in the second grade
01:54:33with a humongous cock,
01:54:39I wouldn't be who I am today.
01:54:44Damage.
01:54:45Are you kidding me?
01:54:46Damage is a good thing.
01:54:47If I hadn't seen my
01:54:49fat, ugly
01:54:51pig of a babysitter
01:54:52sucking off that humongous
01:54:53cock of an old-ass
01:54:58biker anymore.
01:55:02Damage.
01:55:03Are you kidding me?
01:55:04Damage is a good thing.
01:55:05If I hadn't seen my
01:55:06ugly-ass
01:55:08pig of a girlfriend.
01:55:12Sorry, dude.
01:55:13I'm so sorry.
01:55:20I'm so sorry.
01:55:21I'm so sorry.
01:55:22I'm so sorry.
01:55:23I'm so sorry.
01:55:24I'm so sorry.
01:55:25I'm so sorry.
01:55:26I'm so sorry.
01:55:27I'm so sorry.
01:55:28I'm so sorry.
01:55:29I'm so sorry.
01:55:30I'm so sorry.
01:55:31I'm so sorry.
01:55:32I'm so sorry.
01:55:33I'm so sorry.
01:55:34I'm so sorry.
01:55:35I'm so sorry.
01:55:36I'm so sorry.
01:55:37I'm so sorry.
01:55:38I'm so sorry.
01:55:39I'm so sorry.
01:55:40I'm so sorry.
01:55:41I'm so sorry.
01:55:42I'm so sorry.
01:55:43I'm so sorry.
01:55:44I'm so sorry.
01:55:45I'm so sorry.
01:55:46I'm so sorry.
01:55:47I'm so sorry.
01:55:48I'm so sorry.