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AmusantTranscription
00:00 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:02 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:04 ♪ ♪ ♪
00:06 ♪ Let's take a look and see what's happening ♪
00:11 ♪ Roll a close up ride, close up ride ♪
00:13 ♪ It's life with Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
00:16 ♪ Life with Louie, Louie, Louie ♪
00:20 ♪ It's life with life, loveable, loveable ♪
00:23 ♪ Completely huggable ♪
00:25 ♪ It's life with Louie ♪
00:29 - When Principal Holloran made a visit to our classroom,
00:33 it usually meant one of two things.
00:36 Either Glenglyne had been caught mixing pencil shavings
00:38 into the cafeteria food again,
00:40 or we were having a substitute.
00:42 - Mr. Lambert will not be here this week.
00:45 Now I want everyone on their best behavior for Miss Robertson.
00:49 - Hello. Top of the morning to you, class.
00:52 - Hmm?
00:53 - I see we'll have to have a little chat
00:55 about the dress code.
00:56 Let's say we begin by introducing ourselves, shall we?
00:59 I'm Miss Robertson, and you are?
01:01 - Um...
01:02 - Dwelling? - Um...
01:04 - Ding!
01:06 - My!
01:10 Oh, we the studious one.
01:12 - That's me, Mr. Studious.
01:14 - Oh, brother.
01:16 You really are stuck on her, aren't you, Mr. Studious?
01:19 - Why would you say that?
01:21 - Because you just put all of your books in my locker.
01:24 - They were lonely.
01:26 (drumming)
01:28 Oh, shallow one, shallow two.
01:31 Shallow three, save us from the communists!
01:35 All 600? Ha! Time to hit the showers.
01:38 - ♪ Rub-a-dub-dee, rub-a-dub-dee ♪
01:41 ♪ Morning is the greatest time of the world ♪
01:43 - Who's in here?
01:44 - Top of the morning, Dad.
01:46 - Really?
01:47 Aren't you the one I have to yank out of bed every morning?
01:50 - That one's the old Louie, Dad.
01:52 - Is that so?
01:54 - Natural scent.
01:56 I thought the idea was to get rid of the natural scent.
01:59 ♪ ♪ ♪
02:01 (clic)
02:02 (clic)
02:03 (clic)
02:04 (clic)
02:05 - My goodness, you look handsome this morning, Louie.
02:08 Is it class picture day?
02:10 - Geez.
02:11 I drag a comb through my hair,
02:13 and suddenly it has to be class picture day?
02:15 - You'll have to change out of those fancy duds after school,
02:18 'cause we've got a project to finish.
02:20 - Oh, good, you're finally taking down
02:22 Mrs. Stoneman's Christmas lights?
02:24 - Yeah, right.
02:25 - Andy!
02:26 - Louie, I need your help with my book.
02:28 - I need your help with my bomb shelter.
02:30 Besides, you're the oldest.
02:32 - Well, Danny's the oldest. Why don't you ask him?
02:35 - Oh, yeah, sure, Dad. I'll be right there to help you.
02:37 Have fun.
02:38 (laughing)
02:39 - Need I say more?
02:41 - You know, Andy,
02:42 that dirt hole in the yard has become a real eyesore.
02:45 - Why don't we just fill it with water and have a pool party?
02:48 - And my bomb shelter?
02:49 Next thing you know, you'll want to be swimming with the enemy.
02:53 - And another thing,
02:54 I don't see how we're going to squeeze
02:56 all our neighbors in there, Andy.
02:58 We can't just leave them out, you know.
03:00 - Why not?
03:01 They didn't invite me to their canasta tournament.
03:03 - Hm, their loss, huh, Dad?
03:05 - Well, besides, if the unspeakable happens,
03:07 there's strength in numbers.
03:09 - Ah, I think you've got something there, Hora.
03:12 - Gracious me, you're here early.
03:17 Crumpet?
03:18 - I'm more of a donut man myself,
03:20 but I'll give it a shot.
03:22 - It was a perfect moment.
03:24 Just me, a crumpet, and the woman of my dreams.
03:28 - Morning, Miss Robertson.
03:30 - Oh, thank you, Michael.
03:31 - That's my ball.
03:32 - I thought so.
03:33 - Hey, those are my mom's petunias.
03:37 - The flower shop was out of my way.
03:39 - It's one of my dad's formaldehyde jars.
03:41 He's a pathologist, you know.
03:43 - Oh, how unusual.
03:45 Um, well, let's put it here for safekeeping.
03:48 We wouldn't want it to break.
03:50 - Well, that would be a heartbreaker.
03:52 - It's oregano.
03:53 I made it from a Nightsmith for comic.
03:55 - Hey, that's the one I loaned you.
03:57 - Obviously, I wasn't the only one
03:59 trying to impress Miss Robertson.
04:01 - It's two-ply.
04:03 - Thank you.
04:04 This morning, I'd like to introduce you
04:06 to a very special author.
04:07 His name is William Shakespeare,
04:09 and he wrote some of the world's most beautiful stories.
04:13 - Oh, not him.
04:15 - Oh.
04:16 - Can anyone name one of them?
04:18 - Um, there's the one about the guy,
04:21 and, uh, other guy.
04:23 - Oh, you must mean Two Gentlemen of Verona.
04:25 Well done, Louie.
04:26 - Even though I didn't know the answer,
04:28 I didn't feel silly.
04:29 Miss Robertson had a way of making me feel special.
04:32 I imagine she had the same effect on the other boys.
04:35 - I love daisies.
04:37 - Nice day for a ride, huh?
04:39 - Louie, Louie, wherefore art thou, Louie?
04:45 - Oh, this is a rough gig.
04:49 - Louie, Louie.
04:51 Louie, are you with us?
04:53 - Oh, I am.
04:55 I'm just gonna tie my shoe.
04:58 - You weenie!
05:00 - Let Groom Rolf bring her flowers
05:03 and Scott, formaldehyde jars.
05:06 I was gonna learn Shakespeare
05:08 and be Miss Robertson's star.
05:11 - Left, left, left, right, left,
05:16 and hut, about face.
05:19 Gee, if you men were in the trenches,
05:22 we'd have never finished that bridge over the River Kwai.
05:25 - How about a break, man?
05:27 These bricks are heavy.
05:28 - Sorry, Gus.
05:29 Flanagan was all out of styrofoam bricks.
05:32 - Hey, Anderson, what are you doing?
05:35 Burying a bone?
05:37 - Very funny, Jensen.
05:39 But that's exactly what'll be left of you
05:42 when the big one hits.
05:44 - Meanwhile, we'll be sitting pretty
05:46 in our temperature-controlled, radiation-proof,
05:49 air-tight bomb shelter.
05:51 Ha, ha, ha!
05:53 - Oil! I struck oil!
05:56 I'm rich! I'm rich!
05:58 - Oh, no!
06:00 - Aah!
06:02 - "Ripe" might be a more appropriate description, Anderson.
06:06 - Aah!
06:08 - After Dad's brief career as an oil tycoon,
06:12 the busted sewer pipe forced him to venture into plumbing.
06:15 And since any trip to the hardware store
06:18 was considered part of my formal education,
06:20 I was recruited.
06:21 - Hey, Andy!
06:23 How's your bomb shelter coming along?
06:25 - I drafted some of the neighbors.
06:27 We'll have it finished in no time.
06:29 - Take a gander at my baby.
06:31 Walnut paneling, track lighting, sauna.
06:34 I'm thinking of moving in.
06:36 - Hey, Mr. Flanagan, got any Shakespeare around here?
06:39 - Shakespeare? You're not into that, too.
06:42 My oldest has them teaching that nonsense
06:44 down at the Cedar Gnome Military Academy.
06:46 - But I thought he was a military man.
06:49 - He is. He runs the joint.
06:51 - So what's with the Shakespeare?
06:53 - Well, that's what I keep asking him.
06:55 Those kids should be learning something useful,
06:57 like caulking, riveting, or grommeting.
07:00 - Oh, yeah, grommeting.
07:02 There's a skill you can apply every day.
07:05 - What a piece of work is man.
07:07 How noble and-- - Speaking of work,
07:09 are you gonna help the old man with the shelter later?
07:12 - Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow.
07:15 - Not tomorrow, today.
07:17 - Thy enemy's wrath shall wait, my father,
07:20 for I must tend to issues present.
07:22 - You had an easier time understanding
07:24 the Germans in Salerno.
07:26 Who's teaching him this garbage anyway?
07:28 - Why, the fair maiden, Miss Robertson.
07:31 - For crying out loud,
07:33 you ought to be teaching him the four R's--
07:35 reading, writing, arithmetic, and reconnaissance.
07:38 - I believe it's the three R's, Andy.
07:40 - What? She took away one of the R's?
07:43 - Questions, anyone?
07:47 - Why didn't Shakespeare give anyone a normal name
07:50 like Bob or Phil or Ted or Cindy?
07:53 - Splendid question, Louis.
07:55 Well, I believe "Romeo and Juliet"
07:59 is a more romantic title than "Bob and Juliet."
08:02 I'm glad to see you're taking such an interest in your reading.
08:05 - This Shakespeare stuff isn't so hard.
08:08 How's this?
08:09 Something's rotten in the state of Denmark,
08:12 and I think it's...
08:14 (laughing)
08:16 - Thank you for that interesting interpretation.
08:19 Can anyone help Mr. Glenn out?
08:21 - Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.
08:25 Heaven will direct it.
08:27 - Very impressive, Louis.
08:30 - For your exceptional knowledge of Shakespeare,
08:33 I crown you King Louis of Lierre.
08:36 There, perfect fit.
08:38 - Things couldn't have been any better... until...
08:41 (air raid siren)
08:43 - Come on, troops, move it, move it, move it!
08:45 - Is this really necessary, Andy?
08:47 - Move what? Where?
08:49 - This is an air raid, private.
08:51 Move your tail to the shelter!
08:53 Double time!
08:55 Pitiful, just pitiful.
08:57 Officially, we're all goners.
08:59 - Good. Maybe now we can all rest in peace.
09:02 - All right, everybody, spread out!
09:04 Come on, now! Give me some elbow room!
09:06 - You may close your lips.
09:08 - Move it, Waffle Noodle!
09:11 - I thought this shelter was supposed to protect us
09:14 from the enemy.
09:16 - Hey, I sweated like a pig building this place,
09:19 and what, what, I can't even get a seat?
09:21 - There's no room for my in-laws!
09:24 - This isn't a hotel, Grunwald, it's a bomb shelter.
09:27 - Well, I'm not telling my mother-in-law to leave.
09:30 Talk about World War III.
09:32 - Hey, what about my family?
09:34 - All right, all right, already, hold it down!
09:36 - Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend him your ears.
09:40 - Lend 'em? What?
09:42 - What is he talking about?
09:44 - What the kid's trying to say is that we need a system.
09:47 You know, families with the last names A through M
09:50 have the shelter Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays,
09:53 and N through Z the other days.
09:55 - Oh, bonne idée, Louis.
09:57 - Ha! Smart kid you got there, Andy!
10:00 - Yeah, yeah, he's a real gem.
10:03 - Cookies, anyone?
10:05 - Oh, yeah, cookies, that's a great idea.
10:07 Exactly how we did it in Normandy.
10:10 - Come, father, yon breakfast await.
10:13 - Well, you sure are chipper this morning.
10:16 - I'm a morning person now.
10:18 - Really? I'll be sure to let the enemy know
10:21 so they can bomb us any time after dawn.
10:25 - Hey, Dad, where are all your helpers?
10:27 - After last night's little milk and cookie party,
10:30 we decided it's every man for himself.
10:33 - So much for strength in numbers.
10:36 - Well, you and I make two,
10:38 and that's all the numbers I need.
10:41 - Sorry, Dad, I'm busy. I gotta finish my oatmeal.
10:44 And after that, I gotta brush up on my Shakespeare.
10:47 - Does Shakespeare keep a roof over your head
10:49 and food on the table?
10:51 Does Shakespeare pay your allowance?
10:53 - But, Dad, I'm in the middle of King Henry IV.
10:56 - Well, around here, I'm the king.
10:59 And King Andy I says he needs help.
11:03 - Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
11:06 - And that means?
11:08 - It means go easy on your kids,
11:10 or they'll take over your kingdom.
11:13 - That's mutiny.
11:15 Who's teaching you this track?
11:17 - Aah! I'm back!
11:20 [musique]
11:23 - Wow, this is a surprise, huh?
11:25 I haven't seen you in, what, two whole hours?
11:27 - I didn't do it, I swear!
11:29 - You know the routine.
11:31 - I'm telling you, she's teaching a mutiny.
11:35 - I hardly think Shakespeare.
11:37 - It's chaos.
11:39 A man can't run a family unit like that.
11:42 - Mr. Anderson, a family is a group of people
11:45 living together to offer one another
11:47 love, support, and understanding.
11:50 Not an elite tactical squadron.
11:52 - Well, I say she's filling his head with all sorts of ideas.
11:56 And it's your job to get rid of her.
11:58 - Ah!
12:00 - Excuse me, nature calls.
12:02 - Hello, Mr. Anderson.
12:04 Let me start by saying how much I enjoy
12:06 having Louis in my class.
12:08 - So you can brainwash him with all that Shakespeare propaganda?
12:12 - Shakespeare's plays are hardly--
12:14 - Don't get me wrong.
12:16 I'm for higher learning as much as the next guy.
12:18 But not when it interferes with national security.
12:22 - National security?
12:24 - He's got no respect for who's boss,
12:26 and it ain't going over too good with me.
12:28 - "Ain't" is not a word, Mr. Anderson.
12:32 - What do you know, anyway?
12:34 You're a principal, not a teacher.
12:36 - You sound exactly like my father.
12:39 You must be a military man.
12:41 - Fighting 5th Regiment, and proud of it.
12:44 - Then I was an army brat myself.
12:46 Father was a full bird colonel.
12:48 - Well, I'll bet my purple heart,
12:50 four citations, and three traffic violations
12:53 that he doesn't go for this Shakespeare stuff either.
12:56 - On the contrary, Mr. A.
12:58 He's a big fan.
12:59 Especially Richard III and Henry V.
13:02 Macbeth.
13:03 Anything with a sword and a battle shield or two.
13:06 - Shakespeare wrote about war?
13:08 Huh. Was he a marine or something?
13:11 - Not exactly.
13:12 But you'd have a hard time finding an author
13:14 who wrote about war as vividly as William Shakespeare.
13:17 You know, "A horse, a horse!
13:20 My kingdom for a horse!"
13:22 - Horse? Why didn't he just use a tank?
13:25 - They didn't have tanks in those days.
13:27 Just bows, arrows, and the occasional cannon.
13:30 - You call that warfare?
13:31 Let me tell you about the time
13:33 I single-handedly tracked down 80 regiments of Germans.
13:37 - Hey! Over here!
13:39 Hey, Louis' dad is a Benedict Arnold!
13:42 - You're okay, Army brat.
13:44 - Oh, you're the scream!
13:46 - Any chance of getting you to replace Holler in here?
13:50 - Excuse me?
13:51 - I know. These crumpets keep coming up on me too.
13:55 - Uh, excuse me.
13:57 - So what about it?
13:58 How about giving Miss Robertson a full-time job?
14:02 - I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson,
14:04 but we just can't afford it.
14:06 - Holler in here is just a little, uh...
14:08 How would the Bard put this?
14:10 Oh, yeah, cheap!
14:12 - Hey, never!
14:13 - But I know someone who might be able to use you full-time.
14:16 Make some rail dough, huh?
14:18 - That would be smashing.
14:20 - My pal's son runs the Cedar Knoll Military Academy.
14:25 Would that interest you?
14:26 - Would it?
14:27 I love men in uniform.
14:29 - Let me see what I can do.
14:32 - Here's to you, Mr. Anderson.
14:34 - Now, here's to you, Miss Robertson.
14:38 - Please.
14:40 (sonnerie de porte)
14:43 (soupir)
14:45 - Oh, come on! I hate him!
14:47 - He's back!
14:48 - Well, it's nice to see you too.
14:52 - What are you doing here?
14:54 - Good news. I passed my stone.
14:58 - Where's Miss Robertson?
15:00 - She's moved on.
15:02 - Now, let's open our math books and begin.
15:06 - Yeah, Louie, way to go.
15:08 - What were you thinking?
15:10 - Geez, what'd I do?
15:12 - Monkey bars, 3.30, and don't be late.
15:15 - Ow!
15:16 - I'll set my watch.
15:18 (sonnerie de porte)
15:20 - It's Noogie time!
15:25 - Leave him alone!
15:26 - Why should I?
15:27 King Noogie here got Miss Robertson fired!
15:31 - I did not!
15:32 - Why would Louie do a thing like that?
15:35 He worshipped her!
15:36 - I may have hung on every word she said,
15:39 but I did not worship her.
15:40 - I heard his dad tell Mrs. Halloran he wanted her executed.
15:45 - He did not.
15:46 Executed?
15:47 - Well, fired.
15:48 I was standing right outside her office.
15:51 I heard the whole thing!
15:53 - Good enough, Glen-Glen!
15:55 - Ah! Escaping the jaws of death!
15:58 - Miss Robertson! You came back!
16:01 - Well, just to get my belongings.
16:04 - So you are leaving.
16:05 - Oh, I don't want to,
16:07 but they've offered me a full-time job at the military academy.
16:10 - Great! That's where I'm going when I get out of this place!
16:14 - Of course you'll be 21 by then.
16:16 - Where's my little Romeo?
16:18 - Musclehead here chased him off.
16:21 - What's the matter, Louie?
16:24 - Dad got Miss Robertson fired!
16:27 - He what?
16:28 - Hey, sport, how was school today?
16:30 What's the matter?
16:31 The cat got your tongue?
16:33 - Not too brute.
16:35 - Hey! What do you call me names for?
16:39 What do you call me?
16:40 - You got my favorite teacher fired!
16:42 - Your father did no such thing.
16:44 Did you?
16:45 - I like to think of it as guiding her career.
16:49 - I knew it! You ruined my life!
16:51 Who's gonna teach me Shakespeare now?
16:54 - Wow, that kid really loves his Shakespeare.
16:57 - It's not Shakespeare he loves.
17:00 You know, Louie, everyone gets a crush on a teacher
17:03 at least once in their lives.
17:05 - I don't have a crush on her.
17:07 - It's hard when someone you like so much
17:09 has to go away, isn't it?
17:11 - Why couldn't Mr. Lambert be the one who got fired?
17:14 It can't be Romeo if he's Juliet.
17:17 - I remember when my favorite art teacher left.
17:20 I thought I would never enjoy life drawing again.
17:24 But after a short time, I noticed my drawings
17:27 became richer and more complicated.
17:30 - And this somehow relates to me?
17:33 - The truth is, I remembered what he taught me
17:36 long after he was gone.
17:38 - And, Mom, the point is?
17:40 - Well, I wouldn't be surprised at all
17:42 if Shakespeare became your favorite author.
17:44 - Even without Miss Robertson?
17:46 - Because of Miss Robertson.
17:49 - Hello, Mr. A. How are you doing?
17:51 - Hey, how you doing there, my friend?
17:53 - How's your shelter coming along?
17:55 You'd love my dad's.
17:57 - Miss Robertson, I'm sorry my dad got you fired.
18:00 - Your dad give me the old heave-ho.
18:02 Blimey, not at all.
18:04 - He didn't? - No.
18:06 He got me hired at the academy, full time and everything.
18:10 - But I thought... - Oh, no, Louie.
18:12 Mr. Lambert was coming back as soon as he got well anyway.
18:16 - Your dad has been a great help to me.
18:19 - My dad?
18:20 - I hope you're gonna keep reading Shakespeare.
18:22 - I don't know.
18:24 Sometimes he's a little hard to understand.
18:26 - I'll tell you what.
18:27 Any time you get stuck, you just come round the academy
18:30 and we'll figure it out together.
18:32 How's that? - You mean it?
18:34 - Absolutely. Toss me in the Thames if I don't.
18:38 Here.
18:40 - "To my favorite king, Louie I."
18:44 - Oh, merci, Mme. Robertson.
18:47 - De rien, Louie.
18:49 Et merci encore, Mr. A.
18:51 - Pas de soucis, Brad.
18:52 Partie est une tristesse.
18:55 - Je vous dis au revoir jusqu'à demain.
18:58 Pas mal, Mr. A.
19:00 Tata pour le moment.
19:02 - Tu as lu Shakespeare?
19:04 - Bien sûr, je pensais que tout le monde qui a écrit un livre sur la guerre
19:07 aurait du prendre un petit déjeuner.
19:09 - Désolé, père.
19:10 - Je devrais avoir su que tu n'aurais rien fait pour en faire mal à Mme Robertson.
19:14 - Elle est une vraie pêche.
19:16 Elle fait du café assez léger, en fait.
19:18 Tu es prêt à aider l'ancien homme avec le château?
19:20 - Père, j'y avais un peu pensé.
19:22 - On peut aller à la boutique des donuts après.
19:27 - Il y a un bon père qui connaît son propre enfant.
19:30 - Tu as raison, garçon.
19:32 - Mon père et moi avons terminé le château de bombes ce matin.
19:35 Il n'y a rien de bon.
19:37 Heureusement, on n'a jamais dû l'utiliser.
19:39 En fait, deux semaines plus tard, on l'a transformé en poule.
19:43 - Mon poule est propre.
19:45 - Quand tu bouges dans ton propre jardin,
19:47 Yon-Ho est toujours le meilleur choix pour une poule de bain.
19:50 Et ce n'est pas Shakespeare, c'est Louis Anderson.
19:53 - Baissez le cheval!
19:55 - Je vais le faire.
19:57 - C'est bon.
19:58 - Ils ne m'entendent pas.
20:00 - C'est l'heure de faire les chutes.
20:04 (Il pleure.)
20:06 - Tu veux me tuer?
20:12 Ça me fait du bien.
20:14 *Rot*