Rica Peralejo-Bonifacio talks with Smart Parenting's March Mom We Love, Bea Fabregas-Ramos, about discovering a workout routine that suits you and embracing your new self as a mom. #smartparenting #poprica
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00:00 [music]
00:05 Hi, Smart Parenting fam!
00:07 Welcome to another episode of POP Rika,
00:09 where we talk about popular parenting topics
00:12 spiced by yours truly, Rika.
00:14 And today, I am super duper excited
00:17 because we have someone who will not only interview,
00:20 but also work out.
00:21 And so, everybody, please welcome Smart Parenting Mom
00:24 we love for the month of March,
00:26 Bea Fabregas Ramon!
00:29 Hi! So nice to see you!
00:31 I'm so excited to work out and to talk motherhood and parenting.
00:34 Yes, and everybody sees your funny and silly and you know, dancing videos.
00:38 Because you're a dancing guru.
00:40 I'm a dancing queen right now!
00:42 But before that, we're gonna work out first.
00:45 So, join us. Let's do this!
00:47 [music]
01:12 What a workout!
01:14 [laughter]
01:16 It doesn't get easier.
01:18 But the truth is, you know,
01:20 I've been watching you before.
01:22 Like, before you became a mom.
01:24 I don't know, was that-- were you married already?
01:26 Yeah, I was married.
01:28 When I noticed that you were commenting on my workout stories.
01:31 Because it's pandemic, right?
01:33 So, I worked out.
01:35 After having Tyler, first of all, do you have a regular routine right now?
01:38 Right now, I do. Because he's at the age where he goes to school.
01:42 So, I have that two hours in my day.
01:45 And I do my workout there.
01:47 So, I'll just time it.
01:49 Because I actually had a lot of followers that I haven't met.
01:52 They messaged me asking questions.
01:55 Because I'm a mom, and like this, and like that.
01:57 And while I thought I knew.
02:00 Of course, I would respond that, you know, you just have to try and carve out-- figure it out with your schedule.
02:05 Which I do--
02:07 It still is true, yes.
02:09 I would never be like, you just gotta make the time.
02:11 That's never the message.
02:13 You have to find what works for you.
02:15 You really have to bet on what you're doing.
02:17 Yes.
02:18 It was just really me and my husband super hands-on.
02:20 And Nico was the one really working a night-- he works a 9-5.
02:24 So, me, I was 24 hours just with Tyler nursing.
02:28 And I was just like, how? Like, what do you mean?
02:31 And you know, I wanted to find all the moms that messaged me.
02:36 That I kind of get it now.
02:38 I get it now, especially in that season.
02:41 Because that season, I believe, is not for you.
02:44 It's for your child.
02:46 Especially the newborn season.
02:48 So would you say that it helped you a lot to understand that there is a season for everything?
02:53 I got-- yeah.
02:55 I understood I had to be gentle with myself.
02:57 Which is not how I'm used to training.
02:59 Right, as an athlete.
03:01 As an athlete, I'm like, no, you gotta get it done.
03:03 Doesn't matter how tired you are.
03:05 It doesn't matter what you're going through.
03:07 You get up, you go.
03:09 And I was like, wow, I can do this.
03:11 I used to be able to do it.
03:13 And then I was like, wow, I can't do it because you are literally like, you're exhausted.
03:17 As a mom.
03:19 When new moms ask me, how did you get back into movement?
03:21 I said, all you have to do is, if you see it, grab it.
03:25 If you see the opportunity, like, at this moment, she's sleeping.
03:29 I'm done with the dishes.
03:31 I have nothing to do.
03:33 Okay, time to move.
03:35 Before, I was like, you know, you have to find it within you.
03:37 It's more intensive.
03:39 But now, it's like, no, if it's just squats, if it's just stretching, if it's just anything, just to move.
03:45 To reconnect with your body and to just feel healthier.
03:49 Like, that's okay.
03:51 Because you will build it eventually.
03:53 And I had to teach myself that.
03:55 Correct. I was going to say, that must have been big for you.
03:57 Because you have an athlete background.
03:59 And athletes kind of are hard on themselves.
04:01 You kind of have to.
04:03 You have a goal.
04:05 Because the difference between the two of us, I don't have an athlete background.
04:07 So, I'm a kebs.
04:09 I don't care if I don't achieve anything for the day.
04:11 But you guys are kind of like, used to, like, pursuing a goal.
04:15 Before, it's like, you'll see my stories.
04:17 If I do 100 push-ups, I'm like, climbing everything.
04:21 You know what I mean?
04:23 And it was really what I was capable of at the time.
04:25 But now, all I can do is walk for 60 minutes or 45 minutes.
04:29 And that for me is like, what I want to remind people that it really does not matter what you're doing.
04:37 As long as you're moving.
04:39 As long as that's working for your schedule.
04:41 That's okay.
04:43 What is your advice for moms like that?
04:45 That are like, I just don't feel like myself.
04:47 Where do they start?
04:49 The number one thing that I told myself, I looked at all my old clothes.
04:53 And I said, I'm not even going to bother to try and fit into this.
04:57 It's basically just, that's the old.
05:01 That's right.
05:03 That was me before the baby.
05:05 It was hard.
05:07 It was super hard.
05:09 It's kind of like saying goodbye to the woman that was prior to the baby.
05:13 And which is crazy because I knew that.
05:15 People used to ask me before, why do you work out so much?
05:19 Or what motivates you to?
05:21 Because I was so abs and everything.
05:23 And I said, I think I do it because I know one day, I won't look like this anymore.
05:25 And I wanted to know if I was able to do it.
05:27 And I was like, yes, I was able to do it at the time.
05:29 But now, when they're like, oh, is that your goal?
05:33 I'm like, no, I don't even want to look like her.
05:35 Because she was great then.
05:37 She was the 'Bea' then.
05:39 Yeah, she was the 'Bea' then.
05:41 It's not that I can't, it's just she's not.
05:43 She's a different person.
05:45 Correct.
05:47 Also, my tops before, they were so small.
05:49 I was like, why was I so higher to meet the crop top?
05:53 So many things change when you become a mom.
05:55 You feel different, you're learning who you are.
05:57 It took me a while also to figure out what my style was.
06:01 I felt lost when I was dressing up.
06:03 You don't have to strive for a certain look or a certain vibe.
06:07 Just address what you're feeling in the moment.
06:09 I think you really articulated it well for all of us moms.
06:13 This is why we feel lost.
06:15 It's because we're gaining a new self.
06:17 That's what we don't really know prior to getting the first baby.
06:21 You don't only have a new baby, you also have a new self.
06:25 And you don't even know her.
06:27 It's important that you feel beautiful and that you love yourself also.
06:31 But you don't know how to do that in the first few months.
06:35 It's kind of hard to love someone you don't fully know yet.
06:37 Also, don't believe everything you see online.
06:41 Everybody's trying to figure it out.
06:43 Everybody is super lost.
06:45 Taking it one step at a time.
06:47 As long as you have your core, your circle.
06:51 Like me, my sisters, my college friends.
06:53 I have a very small circle.
06:55 I really share the ugliest thoughts that I have.
06:59 The most insecure.
07:01 How can you be thinking of that?
07:03 You should be more mature already.
07:05 But no, to admit it out loud, you need that groove.
07:07 We'll talk more.
07:09 We'll talk more.
07:11 But for now, before we move on to our part 2,
07:13 we'll jump rope first.
07:15 You're gonna teach me.
07:17 You're so good.
07:19 I only have this one that I have a footwork.
07:21 I saw it.
07:23 No, because you're so good.
07:25 But I have one that I remember my dad taught me.
07:27 It took me forever to get.
07:29 I don't even know what it's called.
07:31 We'll figure it out later.
07:33 Okay, let's go.
07:35 [music]
07:51 So Bea, have you ever tried jumping before?
07:55 Like jump rope before?
07:57 So I would do it to cross train when I was playing tennis.
07:59 So I know how.
08:01 So all your life, you have trained for tennis.
08:05 Tennis, specifically.
08:07 How old were you when you started playing tennis?
08:09 I was turning 8.
08:11 But I started t-ball at 4.
08:13 I see.
08:15 So I was active.
08:17 So you were already active.
08:19 I was talking to your sister earlier,
08:21 and I told her that I did notice that all of you are active people.
08:23 Like you don't have the same sport,
08:25 but you all do something.
08:27 It's because I'm too emotional.
08:29 My parents were like, "Do something!"
08:31 I was going to ask, what was the philosophy behind that?
08:33 What did your parents want?
08:35 Why did they enroll you in these classes?
08:37 My dad always used to say,
08:39 because my mom was a dancer,
08:41 and my dad played college tennis in the States.
08:43 So, you know, very good, like, athletic couple
08:45 that literally are always working out.
08:47 So I grew up seeing my parents.
08:49 So it really started with your parents.
08:51 Yes.
08:53 So my dad said that,
08:55 "You know, you're not going to be able to play tennis
08:57 because you're too young."
08:59 So my dad said that,
09:01 "When you start early,
09:03 there's a discipline that you will have always."
09:05 And I cannot stress how much I feel that now.
09:07 Wow.
09:09 I'm thankful that early on,
09:11 I was already allowed to play sports.
09:13 But I also believe that you can pick up a skill at any point.
09:15 And you are a perfect example of that.
09:17 You found it.
09:19 I know!
09:21 At 41!
09:23 And it clicked, right?
09:25 Yes!
09:27 You just have to find it.
09:29 Because there's so many types of movement.
09:31 You know, there's spinning, there's yoga.
09:33 I cannot do yoga.
09:35 If you put me in a yoga class,
09:37 I will be like, "Please, no, I don't want to.
09:39 It's not fun for me."
09:41 This is super important.
09:43 I don't know if you like working out alone.
09:45 I do.
09:47 So even my husband, he's like,
09:49 "Are we going to work out together?"
09:51 I'm like, "No, I don't want to work out with you."
09:53 I've seen other couples who are sweet.
09:55 "Couple workout?"
09:57 "Should we do that?"
09:59 But I don't want to.
10:01 Fitness is also very personal in that way.
10:03 How do you like it?
10:05 It's really up to you.
10:07 So you don't force me?
10:09 I know myself so well.
10:11 Like you said, it has benefits for your life.
10:13 Yes, it is what grounds me.
10:15 I'm like, you know what?
10:17 When I'm in shambles,
10:19 I'm overwhelmed, I go back to movement.
10:21 Wow!
10:23 I just need to get this done.
10:25 You and I know the benefit
10:27 of fitness in our lives.
10:29 Just movement, plain movement.
10:31 How are you able to pass this on to Tyler?
10:33 Do you deliberately do something
10:35 to show him or enroll him in something?
10:37 So right now, it's so cute.
10:39 He's already saying,
10:41 "I want to play tennis."
10:43 It's so cute.
10:45 I bought him a little jacket
10:47 but I got hit in the face.
10:49 Right?
10:51 There's no control for it.
10:53 As much as possible,
10:55 playground time, that's what he enjoys.
10:57 He's climbing, he's hanging, I see that.
10:59 In the beginning, he was afraid of sliding.
11:01 But the more he saw
11:03 other kids also in the playground
11:05 that he didn't know,
11:07 he was also braver to try things.
11:09 I also tell him, "Mama's gonna work out, baby."
11:11 "Mama's going to the gym."
11:13 Right.
11:15 I'll be right back, son.
11:17 Then, Niko would also say, "Mama's gonna gym."
11:19 And I cannot stress it enough that
11:21 fitness is so helpful for moms.
11:23 Yes, for moms.
11:25 Because the nature of what we do is so physical.
11:27 Especially in the first few years,
11:29 this is when you become so broken.
11:31 What's the best part
11:33 of parenting?
11:35 For me, it's just seeing him
11:37 enjoy and experience things.
11:41 Watching him,
11:45 seeing him.
11:47 Anything Hakuna Matata, sign me up.
11:49 Because I need, you know what I mean?
11:51 I'm not even watching the show,
11:53 I'm watching my child the entire time.
11:55 You're watching your child.
11:57 That's why when you look back at your videos,
11:59 you're like, "Oh, that happened."
12:01 I have to remind myself when I'm putting him to sleep,
12:03 and when I'm just
12:05 holding him,
12:07 there are some moments when they're not hyper
12:09 and they just want to lie down with you.
12:11 It's very beautiful.
12:13 This is what it is all about.
12:15 This is the greatest gift
12:17 that the Lord has given me.
12:19 I can relate to that.
12:21 Just watching a human being flourish
12:23 in front of you is such a privilege.
12:25 Motherhood does that to you,
12:27 that you're just like, "Life is so amazing."
12:29 Good that you are one of those people
12:31 who can really stop
12:33 and take a look at that.
12:35 But what's a struggle?
12:37 There are times when I'm so,
12:39 I don't know why mothers are so hard on themselves,
12:41 but I'm so hard on myself sometimes
12:43 I feel like I'm not doing enough
12:45 when in fact I am doing
12:47 quite a lot of things.
12:49 We're making our actions seem small
12:51 when in fact,
12:53 every single day,
12:55 you are doing something amazing.
12:57 I think that's the struggle.
12:59 It's a constant battle in your mind.
13:01 The battle is in the mind for me.
13:03 It's in the mind.
13:05 It's really like, "Oh my gosh."
13:07 You're your enemy.
13:09 They're really the enemies of themselves.
13:11 I remember having a conversation
13:13 with my husband and I was weeping
13:15 and I said, "I'm so sorry. I feel like
13:17 I haven't been your wife. I feel like I've just been mom."
13:19 And then Nico said,
13:21 "Because right now,
13:23 he needs you more than I do right now.
13:25 So it's okay."
13:27 It's also the support that I've gotten
13:29 from my husband that I feel
13:31 empowered to...
13:33 Sometimes you need the village to watch after your child.
13:35 Sometimes you need somebody
13:37 to watch your baby.
13:39 Exactly! I'm like, "Oh my goodness."
13:41 I appreciate that. I have new mom friends
13:43 that it's great.
13:45 I think motherhood is the great equalizer.
13:47 Thank you, Bea.
13:49 This was so fun.
13:51 You talking about your stories,
13:53 I'm sure a lot of people learned
13:55 from our viewers.
13:57 I believe they can learn more because you have
13:59 your smart parenting articles.
14:01 So just go and grab that.
14:03 Read everything there because she's got
14:05 so much to share.
14:07 Thank you for watching. Until next time,
14:09 smart parenting found. Thank you, Bea!
14:11 Thank you for having me.
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