Good Morning Pakistan | Larki Ko Banao Hoshiyaar Special Show | 20 February 2024 | ARY Digital
Good Morning Pakistan | Larki Ko Banao Hoshiyaar Special Show | 20 February 2024 | ARY Digital
Host: Nida Yasir
Guest: Sana Khan, Nadia Hussain
Watch All Good Morning Pakistan Shows Here https://bit.ly/3Rs6QPH
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Watch "Good Morning Pakistan" every Monday to Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital.
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigital #nadiahussain
Pakistani Drama Industry's biggest Platform, ARY Digital, is the Hub of exceptional and uninterrupted entertainment. You can watch quality dramas with relatable stories, Original Sound Tracks, Telefilms, and a lot more impressive content in HD. Subscribe to the YouTube channel of ARY Digital to be entertained by the content you always wanted to watch.
Join ARY Digital on Whatsapp https://bit.ly/3LnAbHU
Host: Nida Yasir
Guest: Sana Khan, Nadia Hussain
Watch All Good Morning Pakistan Shows Here https://bit.ly/3Rs6QPH
Good Morning Pakistan is your first source of entertainment as soon as you wake up in the morning, keeping you energized for the rest of the day.
Watch "Good Morning Pakistan" every Monday to Friday at 9:00 AM on ARY Digital.
#goodmorningpakistan #nidayasir #arydigital #nadiahussain
Pakistani Drama Industry's biggest Platform, ARY Digital, is the Hub of exceptional and uninterrupted entertainment. You can watch quality dramas with relatable stories, Original Sound Tracks, Telefilms, and a lot more impressive content in HD. Subscribe to the YouTube channel of ARY Digital to be entertained by the content you always wanted to watch.
Join ARY Digital on Whatsapp https://bit.ly/3LnAbHU
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FunTranscript
00:00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:00:53 Good morning.
00:00:54 Good morning.
00:00:55 Pakistan.
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00:06:15 Good morning, Pakistan.
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00:06:20 Welcome.
00:06:28 Welcome back.
00:06:29 Good morning, Pakistan.
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00:07:49 As daughters.
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00:10:56 I feel that could be one of the reasons.
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00:11:02 And I agree with what Nadia is saying,
00:11:06 that fathers [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
00:11:09 because what you're role modeling is much more effective.
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00:11:15 But daughters are very outspoken nowadays
00:11:18 because it's a lot to do with parenting style.
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00:11:28 So their self-esteem is so bad.
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00:11:34 Not good enough.
00:11:41 Yes.
00:11:42 So when they grow up feeling not good enough,
00:11:45 that's how they show up in the world.
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00:13:47 You know, like my father also, he would always
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00:19:39 We learn a lot.
00:19:41 Because I...
00:19:42 This is my first time being a mother to a daughter,
00:19:44 I don't know how to raise a daughter.
00:19:46 So whoever I raise, it will be based on trial and error.
00:19:50 You too have two daughters,
00:19:52 maybe for the first time you've understood something,
00:19:55 and for the second time you're taking care of those things.
00:19:59 You'll have in your brain, I did this to her,
00:20:02 but I have to do this with him.
00:20:04 Because I felt it was better.
00:20:06 So you have a second chance,
00:20:08 but many mothers don't have a second chance.
00:20:10 So let's see what Sumaiya is saying.
00:20:13 Sumaiya, greetings.
00:20:15 Greetings.
00:20:16 Yes, Nida.
00:20:18 When I did my matriculation, my father used to give me pick and drop.
00:20:23 But when I came to college, I had to get a van.
00:20:27 And the uncle in the van used to trouble me a lot.
00:20:32 He used to touch my hand on the pretext of taking my bag.
00:20:36 Sometimes he would toss my hand while giving me a water bottle.
00:20:39 You know, you can tell by the touch.
00:20:41 If it's by mistake, you can tell by the touch.
00:20:45 It happens once or twice.
00:20:47 But this was his daily routine.
00:20:50 He used to irritate me a lot.
00:20:53 She used to get very worried.
00:20:55 She used to get very worried, but she couldn't tell anyone
00:20:58 because my mother was sick.
00:21:00 She didn't want to stress my mother.
00:21:02 She didn't want her mother to get worried.
00:21:04 And I couldn't talk to my father about such things.
00:21:07 I couldn't understand him and I couldn't share it with my friends.
00:21:10 Then it so happened that the uncle started dropping me at the last moment.
00:21:14 He used to say that he would drop me at the end.
00:21:16 Although my house was very close to his house.
00:21:18 But he used to drop me at the last moment.
00:21:20 And when he dropped me at the last moment, he used to say that I should wait for a while.
00:21:23 He used to talk to me and sometimes he used to touch me.
00:21:26 I mean, I was so worried that I didn't want to go to school.
00:21:34 - You didn't tell anyone. - Yes, I didn't go to school.
00:21:36 I went to college.
00:21:38 Obviously, a girl can't tell her parents about such things.
00:21:41 She can't share such things with her friends.
00:21:43 Because people will misunderstand that they are having an affair.
00:21:46 Although he was a very old uncle and I was very young.
00:21:50 Then it so happened that my heart got completely damaged.
00:21:54 My mother thought that I had given up on studies and I didn't want to study.
00:21:57 So when I got engaged, my mother said that she didn't have any interest in studies.
00:22:02 She wanted to get me married.
00:22:05 But I couldn't tell my parents about the condition I was going through.
00:22:10 Now, after marriage, when I have a daughter, I don't even let her go in someone's lap.
00:22:16 Believe me, I have so many phobias.
00:22:20 I don't want anyone to love my daughter or touch her.
00:22:26 I feel that if someone touches her, it will be a bad touch.
00:22:30 I have a feeling that men in this society only touch bad things.
00:22:36 I don't get it. My daughter is growing up.
00:22:39 What should I do? You are sitting here.
00:22:43 So please advise me how to get rid of this feeling.
00:22:46 Because it happened a long time ago.
00:22:49 Now, I have a daughter of my own and I can't get rid of this pain.
00:22:53 We will answer your questions after a short break.
00:22:58 Secure your daughters.
00:23:01 Take care of them.
00:23:02 But along with that, how do you give them confidence?
00:23:07 Today, you can take some tips through this program.
00:23:11 Stay with us after a short break.
00:23:13 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:23:14 Welcome. Welcome back.
00:23:26 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:23:27 If you are watching us on TV, I will keep telling you.
00:23:30 Today, we are teaching you how to secure your daughters.
00:23:35 But along with securing them, how to give them confidence.
00:23:40 How to make them smart in life.
00:23:43 Because this is a very difficult life.
00:23:45 If a girl lives her life with fear and tolerance,
00:23:49 how will she move forward?
00:23:50 So, we will teach you how to move forward with both.
00:23:55 Try this program.
00:23:57 Nadia Hussain is with us.
00:23:59 Sana is a psychologist with us.
00:24:01 Sumaiya told us that the harassment she faced in life
00:24:06 became a trauma for her.
00:24:09 She was not limited to that.
00:24:11 And now, in the end,
00:24:13 she has been hijacked by fear and trauma.
00:24:20 She is not able to give her daughter that confidence.
00:24:23 She is very tolerant of her daughter.
00:24:25 And she is afraid of her daughter.
00:24:28 What should she do?
00:24:30 How should she overcome this trauma?
00:24:32 Because she never told anyone about this at a young age.
00:24:36 But now, she is a mother herself.
00:24:37 And she feels that she has to shut her daughter down.
00:24:39 She was not saying this at a young age.
00:24:40 She was saying this after she was admitted to college.
00:24:44 - She has been saying this for a long time. - In a sense, she is a teenager.
00:24:47 Nadia, she didn't know what to do at that age.
00:24:50 Yes.
00:24:50 Some girls are very confident, like you and me.
00:24:54 But some girls are not vocal about these things.
00:24:58 And they don't have the relationship with their parents.
00:25:00 - They don't go to their parents... - This is the problem.
00:25:03 This is where the problem starts.
00:25:06 The relationship that you don't have with your parents.
00:25:08 If she didn't want to trouble her mother,
00:25:11 she should have told her father, aunt, aunt.
00:25:17 She should have told her relatives, her grandmother, her grandmother.
00:25:20 She should have mentioned this to her relatives.
00:25:23 - She should have told her friends. - Yes.
00:25:25 I think by telling your friends,
00:25:27 - you get catharsis internally. - You get catharsis.
00:25:32 You let out something,
00:25:35 and you get a response from the other side.
00:25:37 Secondly, if you have friends,
00:25:41 who have a very friendly approach with their parents,
00:25:44 they are confident.
00:25:45 And when you are going through a tough time,
00:25:49 your friends will hold your hand and push you forward.
00:25:51 - They will tell you. - Yes.
00:25:52 - They will tell your parents. - Yes.
00:25:54 - They will tell you why you are quiet. - Yes.
00:25:56 - Your friends will push you forward. - Yes.
00:26:00 So, I think communication is very important.
00:26:06 If you internalize something,
00:26:09 then you will either get a response internally,
00:26:12 - or you will get a response externally. - Yes.
00:26:15 What would you say to them?
00:26:17 What should they do now?
00:26:18 What happened is in the past.
00:26:20 And obviously, we should tell the girls
00:26:23 that they shouldn't take it lightly.
00:26:25 They need to take action.
00:26:27 I think the most important thing is to heal from your abuse.
00:26:31 Whatever you will resist will always persist.
00:26:33 The thing you keep hidden,
00:26:35 the secret is always in your body.
00:26:37 Trauma, stress, sickness,
00:26:39 and after a while, it comes out as an illness.
00:26:42 So, whatever it is, share it with a confident
00:26:45 and trustworthy person.
00:26:48 Also, feel that what's done is done.
00:26:51 If God doesn't do something for you today,
00:26:54 what can you do?
00:26:55 So, actually, relate with the power that you have now.
00:26:59 The awareness that you have now.
00:27:01 If you raise a child with fear,
00:27:03 then that is fear-induced parenting.
00:27:06 Like, this is what you are trying to say.
00:27:09 That Sumaiya has raised her daughter with fear and fear.
00:27:13 - She must have felt that too. - Absolutely.
00:27:16 And she has to first heal from her fear.
00:27:18 And then understand that one of my mentor teachers, Alia,
00:27:22 she taught us something.
00:27:23 She said that fear, F-E-A-R, means fake evidence appearing real.
00:27:28 So, basically, you don't have any evidence
00:27:30 that your daughter will be molested.
00:27:32 But because your past experience has developed a fear,
00:27:35 so, understand that there is no evidence that it will happen.
00:27:38 But because you are actually manifesting it,
00:27:41 you are thinking and your focus is on it,
00:27:43 that nothing wrong should happen.
00:27:45 So, break that pattern and understand that what happened to you,
00:27:50 what are you changing in the dynamics
00:27:52 and the infrastructure of your brain,
00:27:54 of your child's brain and the ecology and the household
00:27:58 where she is comfortable to reach out to the father.
00:28:01 Does she have a healthy relationship with her father
00:28:04 where she feels that life is safe?
00:28:06 I understood from both of your talks
00:28:11 that fathers have such a big role
00:28:16 in making the child confident.
00:28:19 I am being a mother, but now I am thinking
00:28:22 that the confidence my father had on me
00:28:25 or the way he raised me,
00:28:28 so, there is a bigger role than a mother, actually, in that.
00:28:31 That's true.
00:28:32 All the confident girls I see,
00:28:34 even Nadia is saying that your father has a big role.
00:28:38 So, do we really take our motherly responsibility
00:28:41 for the upbringing of our children?
00:28:43 I think it's more on the father than the mother.
00:28:46 It's on both.
00:28:48 When you raise a child, there is a family structure.
00:28:51 In the family structure, both the parents come.
00:28:53 How is the relationship between the parents?
00:28:55 How is their own understanding of a situation?
00:29:00 If the understanding of both is the same,
00:29:05 then you react accordingly.
00:29:07 It's not like a mother says, "No, no, no,
00:29:10 "press her, press her," and the father says, "Leave her."
00:29:13 I say that if your parenting style is different,
00:29:17 then the child gets confused, "What do I do?"
00:29:20 "Should I sit quietly, not say, 'Yes, I have to say it.'"
00:29:24 So, I think it matters a lot
00:29:28 what you get from both the parents.
00:29:31 What input you get.
00:29:33 It's very important to know your external output.
00:29:37 And Nadia and Sana, this is not the only abuse.
00:29:41 Like Sumaiya said,
00:29:42 there is abuse where the child doesn't understand
00:29:45 what love is.
00:29:47 Often, the boys who are with her,
00:29:50 they also misuse her.
00:29:52 When she goes to college, university,
00:29:55 or goes into professional life,
00:29:58 they also misuse her.
00:30:00 During the break, we were talking about
00:30:04 how culturally we are so restrictive
00:30:10 that the normal relationship
00:30:15 between a boy and a girl,
00:30:19 even between cousins,
00:30:22 boys and girls,
00:30:24 they say, "Don't talk to her."
00:30:28 "Don't do this, don't do that."
00:30:30 Until you normalize the communication
00:30:33 between a boy and a girl,
00:30:39 you don't know.
00:30:41 You think, "Oh, he's talking to me."
00:30:43 "Oh, he's showing me love."
00:30:45 That's not true.
00:30:47 The way you talk is different.
00:30:49 The way you flirt is different.
00:30:51 The way you harass is different.
00:30:54 If they do something more,
00:30:57 you still know.
00:30:59 But keep the communication normal.
00:31:02 If there is no communication,
00:31:04 you won't know.
00:31:05 Many girls don't go to co-education.
00:31:09 When they don't go to co-education,
00:31:12 opposite sex becomes a barrier for them.
00:31:15 When they come back to practical life,
00:31:18 they don't understand.
00:31:19 They don't know how to handle it.
00:31:23 They've spent their lives in girls' education.
00:31:26 They don't know how to handle opposite sex.
00:31:29 But, Nida, many times,
00:31:31 kids go to private schools,
00:31:34 modern schools,
00:31:37 where there are white teachers.
00:31:38 But parents say,
00:31:40 "Don't be friends with boys."
00:31:41 "No boy can come to our house."
00:31:43 So, you're sending them to this class
00:31:46 and then you're telling them,
00:31:48 "No boy can come to our house."
00:31:50 Kids get confused about what you want from them.
00:31:54 Then why that choice of having your child
00:31:58 and going to that school,
00:31:59 but boys are not allowed to talk to boys.
00:32:01 You create a lot of tension.
00:32:03 They don't understand.
00:32:06 Automatically, they start getting tempted towards it.
00:32:08 Parents are creating tension in child protection.
00:32:11 Nida, I believe
00:32:13 you shouldn't over-protect your child.
00:32:18 Whether it's a boy or a girl,
00:32:20 if you over-protect them,
00:32:22 you're suppressing their own response.
00:32:27 You're telling them,
00:32:30 "I'm here for you."
00:32:32 "I'll protect you."
00:32:35 As a parent, you're so much over-protective of your child
00:32:40 that they say, "I don't know how I'll live in this world without my parents."
00:32:44 No, you shouldn't do that.
00:32:46 It's like what we said in the beginning.
00:32:48 You should go and get food.
00:32:52 You should send your kids to the shops.
00:32:56 My daughter is 11 years old.
00:32:59 She needed a phone charger or something.
00:33:02 I was alone,
00:33:04 so I found the parking lot right in front of the shop.
00:33:09 I told my 11-year-old daughter,
00:33:11 "Go inside and tell the uncle that you need a charger."
00:33:16 She said, "No, no, I'll get kidnapped."
00:33:19 I said, "Are you crazy?"
00:33:22 I told her, "I'm right here. The car is right in front of me. Go inside."
00:33:26 I told her, "I'm watching you. Go inside and tell him you need a charger."
00:33:33 She left the house in a strange manner.
00:33:36 She didn't have to go, but I forced her to go.
00:33:42 She went inside and came back.
00:33:44 She took the money from me and went back inside.
00:33:47 Until you don't encourage them,
00:33:51 if you protect them so much,
00:33:55 the child will feel that
00:33:58 "I won't be able to understand anything until I'm protected."
00:34:02 - They won't be secure. - Right.
00:34:04 You have to give your child that experience.
00:34:08 You have to push them in the world.
00:34:10 - As a parent... - We won't be there all the time.
00:34:14 We won't be there.
00:34:15 Until the child doesn't know what's possible in the world,
00:34:20 and talking to your child about these things
00:34:25 means that you are creating that awareness as well.
00:34:28 If you can do this,
00:34:32 you can give them confidence in talking as well.
00:34:35 - Absolutely. - It's very important.
00:34:37 You have to sit down and share your life experiences.
00:34:40 Your mother would tell us a story four times.
00:34:44 "This happened to us. We went this way. We went that way."
00:34:47 She would tell us that story four times.
00:34:49 We would tell her that we have heard it.
00:34:51 But even today,
00:34:53 even if we don't remember anything,
00:34:56 the stories that have been told four or five times,
00:35:00 "This happened to me. This happened to me."
00:35:02 are still in my mind.
00:35:05 Because they were told to me repeatedly,
00:35:08 and I learned from them
00:35:10 which I am practically applying in my life.
00:35:13 We would get irritated.
00:35:14 "Mom, what is this? You started the story again."
00:35:18 Our children would tell us the same.
00:35:20 - So... - It's very important
00:35:22 - to talk to your children at home. - Yes.
00:35:24 We talk about everything,
00:35:26 but we don't talk about body parts,
00:35:28 we don't talk about awareness,
00:35:29 - we don't teach our kids. - Yes.
00:35:31 And the role of a father,
00:35:32 not all of them, but in some cases,
00:35:35 - they are absent. - Yes, you are right.
00:35:37 - Emotionally absent. - My mother,
00:35:38 because of the abuse that I had,
00:35:42 she would tell us her stories.
00:35:44 I didn't understand it then,
00:35:46 but now I understand that
00:35:48 to save us from abuse,
00:35:50 she would tell us her stories.
00:35:53 "This happened to me. I told her this."
00:35:55 "I did this."
00:35:57 So, that was training for us.
00:36:00 I did the same with my daughter.
00:36:03 I told her my mother's story.
00:36:05 "This can happen."
00:36:07 And sometimes, you have to build the story.
00:36:10 - I remember the stories. - One more thing.
00:36:13 One more thing, Nida.
00:36:15 I feel that when you are in such situations,
00:36:21 you shouldn't separate yourself from the situation
00:36:25 and tell your daughter.
00:36:27 Because you can give a signal
00:36:31 that if this happened to me or you,
00:36:34 and if it's bad,
00:36:36 then you are bad and so am I.
00:36:38 You shouldn't give this signal.
00:36:40 - You shouldn't give this signal. - No.
00:36:43 If this happened to you...
00:36:45 I mean to say that
00:36:47 when you tell a story to a child,
00:36:52 - it makes them feel bad. - Yes.
00:36:55 But if you include yourself in it,
00:36:58 then you get a connection.
00:37:01 You feel that it happened to your cousin,
00:37:04 your mother, your father, your grandmother.
00:37:07 If it happens to you, it's fine.
00:37:09 Fine means... What do you do next?
00:37:13 Anything can happen.
00:37:15 You know the result.
00:37:16 - You know if you did this or that. - Yes.
00:37:20 - You know the result. - Yes.
00:37:21 - I am saying the same. - You told her the story.
00:37:24 Yes, but if you include yourself in it,
00:37:28 that it happened to me and I did this,
00:37:32 then you tell your child about it.
00:37:35 It doesn't matter if it's your grandmother's experience,
00:37:38 your aunt's experience, your own experience,
00:37:40 your aunt's experience, whatever the experience is.
00:37:43 You tell your child about it.
00:37:44 And one more thing.
00:37:45 The things that are happening these days,
00:37:49 the news that you hear,
00:37:52 that this happened to this person,
00:37:54 this happened to this college man,
00:37:56 this happened to that person,
00:37:58 you tell your child about the current events.
00:38:02 You tell your child about the current events.
00:38:05 Because the kids listen to the news.
00:38:08 Whether it's on TV or on the radio,
00:38:12 or a teacher or a class fellow mentions it,
00:38:16 if you don't know what happened to that child,
00:38:21 why it happened, who is wrong and who is right,
00:38:24 then again, there is confusion.
00:38:26 That it happened to that girl, it was her fault.
00:38:30 You know, this is something that you need to be very...
00:38:34 make the children aware.
00:38:36 - Yes. - That's it.
00:38:38 Okay, it's break time.
00:38:40 Before we go on break,
00:38:42 we will come back after the break and move on to the next story.
00:38:46 But before that, I would like to tell you
00:38:48 that HBL PSL Season 9 has begun.
00:38:53 And like every year, Karachi Kings is playing this year.
00:38:56 And we all have to support them.
00:38:58 Karachi Kings has lost a match to Multan Sultan
00:39:02 by 55 runs.
00:39:05 But we pray for the upcoming matches
00:39:09 that they win with their full strength.
00:39:13 I would like to mention the sponsors of Karachi Kings.
00:39:19 ARY Laguna DHA, City Karachi.
00:39:22 ARY Laguna DHA, Gujranwala.
00:39:24 Titanium is the sponsor.
00:39:26 Imtiaz Supermarket is the platinum supermarket partner.
00:39:29 VGOTEL is the platinum mobile phone partner.
00:39:36 Dolenz is the reliable appliances partner.
00:39:39 Mughal Steel is the strength partner.
00:39:42 Easy Color is the styling partner.
00:39:44 Taj Darbar is the restaurant partner.
00:39:47 YOLO is the smartwatch partner.
00:39:53 Rose Petal and Maxorp is the hygiene partner.
00:39:57 So, we are back after a short break.
00:40:01 And today's show is about how to make our daughters aware, secure
00:40:07 and confident.
00:40:12 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:40:14 Welcome, welcome back.
00:40:25 Good morning, Pakistan.
00:40:26 Today, we will talk about how to secure our daughters
00:40:31 and take care of them.
00:40:33 But also, how to make them smart.
00:40:36 Actually, how to make them smart.
00:40:38 Because it's the age of smart girls.
00:40:40 We have to teach our daughters how to live with confidence.
00:40:45 We have to raise them with love and care.
00:40:48 And you might get some tips through this show.
00:40:51 Our next story is about Ayesha.
00:40:56 And what things came in Ayesha's life
00:41:00 that we can learn from her. Let's listen to it.
00:41:03 - Yes, Ayesha. - Good morning.
00:41:04 Good morning, Ayesha.
00:41:05 This incident happened to me when I started my new graduation.
00:41:10 And I was very shocked that I had to utilize this and not work.
00:41:15 My mother refused to do it from home.
00:41:18 But she didn't tell me why I shouldn't do it.
00:41:20 And she said, "You don't have to do it."
00:41:22 Anyway, I insisted and started my job.
00:41:24 I started going to a good firm.
00:41:27 Then I found out that there are seniors there.
00:41:29 You have to work under them.
00:41:31 So, I had a senior who was quite aged.
00:41:34 And we had a good conversation.
00:41:36 So, in a few days, he started to explain things to me.
00:41:42 I told him to explain it to me, but he started to get closer.
00:41:45 He started to physically touch me.
00:41:47 And he picked up my dupatta and gave it to me.
00:41:52 Or he tapped me on the shoulder.
00:41:54 So, I got angry and I kept away from him.
00:42:01 And I started to ignore him or avoid him.
00:42:04 And he started to be strict with me.
00:42:09 I couldn't tolerate it anymore.
00:42:11 So, I tolerated it quietly.
00:42:14 And I couldn't tell my family because my mother had already refused.
00:42:19 So, I had to stay at home.
00:42:21 And after a few days, the same things started to happen again.
00:42:25 And those things increased.
00:42:27 I didn't have access to my boss.
00:42:29 I didn't have the knowledge to go to anyone.
00:42:31 I didn't have much confidence.
00:42:33 And there was no team where we could go and share our knowledge.
00:42:38 And then, I stayed at home.
00:42:41 My mother said, "Okay, stay."
00:42:43 I couldn't tell her any reason.
00:42:45 And I couldn't utilize my education.
00:42:48 - And you left the job? - Yes.
00:42:50 I don't know where she was working.
00:42:52 - Where was she working? - How will she tell you?
00:42:55 - No, I mean... - Don't ask that.
00:42:57 - Okay. - Ask where she was working.
00:42:58 But if you are working anywhere,
00:43:01 and you are saying that you didn't have access to your boss,
00:43:06 then it's okay if you don't have a boss.
00:43:08 But there can be some senior,
00:43:10 especially if it's a woman senior.
00:43:13 There can be someone else who...
00:43:17 Usually, your colleagues are of the same age as you.
00:43:20 - You discuss with them. - Yes.
00:43:22 And I have seen this experience in my life.
00:43:28 If your colleagues are of the same age as you,
00:43:31 when you share this with them, they confirm that
00:43:34 - "He does the same with us." - Absolutely.
00:43:36 You get confirmation because you are scared
00:43:40 that you are feeling that he is like that.
00:43:43 And you ask yourself so many times,
00:43:46 you answer yourself,
00:43:48 "I don't have any doubts. I can point my finger at anyone."
00:43:51 - "And it's just my doubt." - I want to say something
00:43:54 from a job point of view.
00:43:58 If you are working in a good institute,
00:44:02 in a good office, in a good place,
00:44:05 then you have an HR department.
00:44:07 - Yes. - I am telling you this technically.
00:44:10 - It's related to jobs. - Yes.
00:44:11 You have an HR department.
00:44:12 You can go to the HR department and file a complaint.
00:44:16 Now, again, under the law,
00:44:20 under the law of Pakistan,
00:44:24 you get protection
00:44:26 against sexual harassment at workplace.
00:44:30 So, it's important for women to know about this.
00:44:33 If they are working in any office area
00:44:37 or joining any workforce,
00:44:40 whether they are joining a school,
00:44:42 - there is HR in schools. - Yes.
00:44:44 If you are going to a telecom or a bank,
00:44:47 if you are going to a good institution,
00:44:50 you have the resources.
00:44:54 I am talking about the present.
00:44:57 You have the resources to go and lodge a complaint.
00:45:02 You shouldn't have a problem lodging a complaint.
00:45:05 I don't know which institution doesn't have such resources.
00:45:11 - I am talking about my salon. - To reach the resources,
00:45:15 the confidence a girl needs,
00:45:18 when she doesn't have it, I am saying the same.
00:45:20 - You can write a complaint. - You can write a complaint.
00:45:23 - You can write a complaint. - You can email it.
00:45:25 Or your friends.
00:45:26 It's the same thing.
00:45:28 When the colleagues work, they become a force.
00:45:31 The girls get together.
00:45:33 They back you up and say, "Friend, lodge a complaint."
00:45:36 - They go to lodge a complaint together. - Yes.
00:45:38 It's often seen that four or five girls go and lodge a complaint together.
00:45:44 "You lodge a complaint about her."
00:45:46 "Because she is with us."
00:45:47 It's the same thing.
00:45:48 When they are with one person, they have this sickness.
00:45:52 And they must have done the same with other girls.
00:45:55 So, that girl is not only saving herself,
00:45:57 she is saving other girls as well.
00:46:00 - What is it? - Look, Nida.
00:46:01 If there is a place where there is no human resource,
00:46:07 you can't lodge a complaint,
00:46:10 you can take it upon yourself that you will become a resource.
00:46:16 Or you will do this.
00:46:17 You don't have to be suppressed.
00:46:19 You have to raise your voice against it.
00:46:22 You have to say what is wrong.
00:46:24 And if it is wrong,
00:46:26 then again, it's the same thing.
00:46:29 You have to take someone with you and speak against it.
00:46:33 And you can become a resource yourself.
00:46:35 And another thing, the fear of girls.
00:46:37 "My job will be over. I will be at home."
00:46:40 - "My family will be over." - "I will lose my job."
00:46:42 They are supporting.
00:46:43 This is the fear that you have to tolerate so many things.
00:46:48 Why don't you think that she should also learn a lesson.
00:46:51 - Yes. - She has been troubling so many girls.
00:46:54 - Absolutely. - She should have someone to teach her a lesson.
00:46:58 And this is the God's will.
00:47:01 No one can end a job like this.
00:47:04 You can get better than this.
00:47:06 - So, end this fear and these doubts. - And one more thing.
00:47:08 We were talking during the break.
00:47:10 Nida, victim blaming.
00:47:13 Blaming the victim.
00:47:15 In our society, in our environment, in our culture,
00:47:19 in our mentality,
00:47:22 blaming the victim is the first and easiest target.
00:47:27 That this is the mistake.
00:47:30 This is the mistake.
00:47:32 Stop blaming the victim.
00:47:35 Remove the victim blaming from your mind.
00:47:39 Because, yes, I am not saying that
00:47:42 every woman speaks the truth if she has been victimized.
00:47:46 Yes, it happens.
00:47:48 I want to ask Sana.
00:47:50 Sana, if you are in an office or you study in a place
00:47:56 where you are not so confident,
00:47:58 they say you are not so confident,
00:48:00 you are in that age.
00:48:02 - Right. - So, how do you back up yourself?
00:48:04 How do you create that power inside you
00:48:06 so that you take an initiative for that?
00:48:09 The most important thing is to go to the HR.
00:48:13 If you don't have the confidence to go to the HR,
00:48:15 it's very easy to text or type or email.
00:48:18 Because you are alone there.
00:48:20 You can write whatever you want to.
00:48:22 You don't get a response.
00:48:23 You have basically put down your burden.
00:48:27 And then sitting at home is not just job pay, harassment.
00:48:30 It's also the mindset you had when you went there
00:48:33 that you don't want to work.
00:48:35 So, already there was no approval.
00:48:38 So, the easiest outlet for you was that you came back
00:48:40 and said, "Yes, you were right.
00:48:42 I was wrong, you were right."
00:48:44 Instead of really fighting that
00:48:46 there are not only bad people everywhere.
00:48:48 You know, really empowering yourself
00:48:51 that what is now that I can do?
00:48:53 This is done. I left my job.
00:48:55 I emailed. Now I am sitting.
00:48:57 Now where do I have to go from here?
00:48:58 Because I think as humans, we always have a choice.
00:49:02 Neither time is the same, nor the situation, nor the people.
00:49:05 So, understand that it's not necessary
00:49:07 that it's always bad.
00:49:09 You have to fight that. It's a life journey.
00:49:12 In life journey, sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.
00:49:15 But beauty of being Ashraf ul Makhluqat
00:49:18 is that we have the brain.
00:49:20 With awareness, healing, therapy, yoga, meditation,
00:49:24 so many things.
00:49:26 And you know, in Karachi, there are many things available.
00:49:29 Heal yourself.
00:49:30 Go out and see how can you change the infrastructure of your brain.
00:49:35 Because it's constant work.
00:49:37 You can't heal anyone.
00:49:38 You can't heal your parents,
00:49:40 you can't heal the school, you can't heal the environment.
00:49:42 You can work on yourself.
00:49:44 When you work on yourself, you can conquer the world.
00:49:48 And that's the thing, Nidha. Victim blaming.
00:49:51 If you consider yourself a victim,
00:49:53 that maybe it was my fault,
00:49:55 then you will blame yourself with the same mentality.
00:50:00 That I went out and this happened to me.
00:50:03 My mother said no.
00:50:05 If you work, you will blame yourself.
00:50:09 Don't blame yourself because it's not your fault.
00:50:12 It's the fault of that person because he did it.
00:50:16 He is crazy. His mentality is bad.
00:50:20 That's why he is doing it.
00:50:22 He got a chance.
00:50:24 He judged you.
00:50:27 That you are a wet cat.
00:50:29 Maybe he can do it.
00:50:31 Sana also wants to say something.
00:50:33 Let's see what she has to say.
00:50:37 Sana, Assalamualaikum.
00:50:38 Assalamualaikum.
00:50:40 I went out for a job for the first time.
00:50:43 My family was not ready for it.
00:50:46 But I wanted to do a job.
00:50:48 I wanted to go out and see the environment.
00:50:51 When I started working for the first time,
00:50:54 my brother used to drop me.
00:50:56 When my brother got a job, he didn't drop me.
00:51:01 I was going alone.
00:51:02 The boys in our neighborhood started following me.
00:51:06 They used to torture me.
00:51:09 They used to pull my dupatta, bag and abaya.
00:51:13 They used to ask me to give them my number.
00:51:15 They used to talk to me in a strange way.
00:51:18 I used to come home after getting worried.
00:51:21 I had been working for a long time.
00:51:23 I was always worried.
00:51:26 One day, they came and asked me to give them my number.
00:51:30 I told them I couldn't give them my number.
00:51:32 They told me not to worry.
00:51:33 Otherwise, I would be screaming and shouting.
00:51:36 They said, "If you make a sound,
00:51:38 "they will throw a tada on your face."
00:51:40 "You are so proud of your beauty.
00:51:41 "Give them your number.
00:51:43 "Otherwise, we will trouble you."
00:51:46 I was so scared that I lost my patience.
00:51:50 I couldn't do anything.
00:51:52 I left my job and started calling for help.
00:51:56 I didn't know what to say.
00:51:59 I didn't know what to tell my family.
00:52:01 They started torturing me with my number.
00:52:07 I was so worried that I went home.
00:52:10 I couldn't say anything.
00:52:12 If a person shares something with his friends or cousins,
00:52:17 they say that the girl is bad.
00:52:20 The girl is the only one who is defamed in the family.
00:52:22 I was silent.
00:52:24 I have never been able to tell anyone about this.
00:52:29 You don't work anymore.
00:52:30 I don't work anymore. I stay at home.
00:52:32 You destroyed your future because of your fear.
00:52:37 You didn't tell anyone at home.
00:52:39 Neither your parents nor your siblings.
00:52:41 I didn't tell anyone.
00:52:42 I am still scared that I won't be able to tell my family.
00:52:46 How long has it been?
00:52:48 How long has it been?
00:52:49 It's been a year and a half.
00:52:51 You wasted a year and a half of your life.
00:52:55 How far can people go in a year?
00:52:58 If they are capable, they can get promoted.
00:53:02 They can earn money.
00:53:04 She is blaming herself.
00:53:08 If she stops blaming herself,
00:53:10 she will have the courage to talk.
00:53:13 If she believes that it's not her fault,
00:53:18 it's her fault.
00:53:19 Let me tell you something.
00:53:20 They are from your locality.
00:53:22 If we follow the same approach,
00:53:25 you will know about their families.
00:53:26 Go and complain to their parents.
00:53:30 If you don't want to tell your parents,
00:53:34 go and complain to their mother.
00:53:36 Everyone has a phone.
00:53:37 Make a video.
00:53:39 Make a video.
00:53:40 Send it to everyone.
00:53:43 This girl is doing this to me.
00:53:45 What else?
00:53:46 If someone is threatening you,
00:53:50 it's easy to say,
00:53:54 "Go and do this."
00:53:55 If they do something,
00:53:57 -I have experienced it. -What should they do?
00:53:59 For the longest time,
00:54:00 I always have a pepper spray in my bag.
00:54:03 Sometimes you have to use tools for self-protection
00:54:06 where the other person is also threatened.
00:54:08 -Speak in Urdu. -If you have a pepper spray,
00:54:11 if you have it,
00:54:13 if someone is threatening you,
00:54:15 you should also threaten them.
00:54:16 Sometimes you have to file an FIR.
00:54:18 Sometimes you have to approach the police.
00:54:20 Sometimes you have to punch them.
00:54:22 You have to slap them.
00:54:23 You have to kick them.
00:54:24 Step out of your comfort zone.
00:54:25 You have to pick up your bag.
00:54:26 You have to carry a bottle with you.
00:54:30 You have to carry something like that.
00:54:31 -You have to be a bearded man. -You get steel bottles.
00:54:33 You get steel bottles.
00:54:35 But the main thing is that we have a phone.
00:54:38 -This phone is our weapon. -It's our weapon.
00:54:41 It's a very big weapon.
00:54:43 You don't even have to put the phone in their mouth
00:54:47 -and record them. -Just open it.
00:54:48 -Open the recording. -You can put it upside down
00:54:51 in your phone or in your hand.
00:54:54 But if the camera is on,
00:54:57 you can record them.
00:54:58 And you are protecting yourself
00:55:00 -by recording them. -Yes.
00:55:02 It's not my fault.
00:55:04 I was walking.
00:55:06 -These boys troubled me. -Exactly.
00:55:08 And stop blaming yourself.
00:55:10 The element of victim blaming in our country,
00:55:13 in our environment, in our culture, in our society,
00:55:16 everyone blames the girl.
00:55:18 -They do it. -We are saying that
00:55:19 we should make our daughters smart.
00:55:21 Sana, if you were smart,
00:55:24 you would have at least tried this idea of mobile phones.
00:55:28 So, to make them smart...
00:55:30 Sana is not smart.
00:55:33 We are trying to make her smart at this age.
00:55:36 Sana should tell us that
00:55:38 -when our daughters are young... -Communication.
00:55:40 When our daughters are young,
00:55:42 how to induce them?
00:55:44 Not the normal class of Nadia,
00:55:47 not my class,
00:55:49 but the class of the girl who comes from this neighborhood.
00:55:52 Where the girls shouldn't just whisper in front of their father.
00:55:55 -No, communication is the key. -Absolutely.
00:55:56 -Communication is the key. -Teach them to protect.
00:55:58 Communication is the key.
00:56:00 I think that as soon as we are born,
00:56:03 we keep telling our stories.
00:56:06 You should tell your stories.
00:56:07 But in every situation, ask your kids
00:56:10 what they would do if something like this happened to them.
00:56:12 What if this happens?
00:56:13 If something like this happens, what will you do?
00:56:15 If such a situation comes up,
00:56:17 instead of just looking at their situation,
00:56:19 many times, we don't learn from our parents' experiences.
00:56:23 Even if they tell us a story 10 times,
00:56:26 we will be in the same situation.
00:56:28 And we can't apply their experience.
00:56:30 Because we are different.
00:56:32 Everything about us is different from our parents.
00:56:36 So it's very important that when you have daily conversations at home,
00:56:41 you start giving situations to a 5-year-old or a 4-year-old.
00:56:45 What will you do if this glass breaks?
00:56:47 So self-protection comes from communication.
00:56:50 Ask them.
00:56:51 The more you ask questions, because the child's mind is very curious.
00:56:55 It adapts all the time.
00:56:57 We can't adapt as much as a 7-year-old or 8-year-old can.
00:57:02 Because their brain is still growing.
00:57:04 Their brain will mature at 28.
00:57:06 You have so much time and years to ask your children questions.
00:57:10 Ask them questions all day.
00:57:11 Instead of giving them advice.
00:57:14 Because we are not perfect.
00:57:16 We have made thousands of mistakes.
00:57:18 And if we had thousands of situations,
00:57:20 we wouldn't have dealt with them the way we are telling our children.
00:57:25 We would have dealt with them differently.
00:57:26 Because our level of awareness is different.
00:57:28 So ask your children questions and give them input.
00:57:32 It's possible that they will deal better with us.
00:57:34 - It's not possible. - Yes.
00:57:36 And if you tell your children, "If this happens to you, do this."
00:57:41 "If this happens to you, do this."
00:57:43 Like, the fight thing.
00:57:48 Don't get suppressed.
00:57:50 You have to tell your children, "If this happens to you,
00:57:53 you have to hit them with a stick."
00:57:55 "You have to kick them."
00:57:57 "You have to pick up your bag and hit them."
00:58:01 You carry a bag with you.
00:58:05 You can train your children in this way.
00:58:08 You can train them at home.
00:58:10 "If this happens to you, pick up your bag and hit them."
00:58:13 I want to share something good.
00:58:15 Before going on a break, my son's friend was beaten by a girl.
00:58:19 He was a boy who used to beat up all his friends.
00:58:25 I asked him during the break, "Did she beat you?"
00:58:28 "Did you do anything?"
00:58:30 He said, "My teacher and my mother said that we can't hit girls."
00:58:34 I felt so much love for him.
00:58:37 He was such a brave boy.
00:58:38 The girl hit him with a football and left.
00:58:43 But he didn't take revenge because he was the one who was induced
00:58:46 by his mother and teacher that we shouldn't hit girls.
00:58:51 So, this is it.
00:58:52 Training starts with the mother's child.
00:58:54 The kind of sons we bring up, we'll find the same kind of men in the society.
00:59:00 So, communication is not only important for daughters,
00:59:02 but it's also important for sons.
00:59:04 Let's watch Good Morning Pakistan after a short break.
00:59:07 Welcome. Welcome back.
00:59:20 Good Morning Pakistan.
00:59:22 You're sitting with a psychologist and a psychiatrist.
00:59:24 You're going crazy.
00:59:27 What's happening in the world today,
00:59:30 maybe it wasn't like this in the olden days.
00:59:32 - No, it was. - There was no awareness.
00:59:34 - Now, there's no awareness. - Now, there's awareness.
00:59:36 We feel like, "What kind of a world is this?"
00:59:40 It would've been there from the beginning,
00:59:41 but no one would talk about it.
00:59:43 Now, everyone talks about it because
00:59:46 social media has done some good things.
00:59:50 - Yes, very good things. - It's given awareness.
00:59:52 Kids have created pages.
00:59:53 People who have grown up, who have bared all these things,
00:59:56 they have shared their stories,
00:59:58 and because of that,
00:59:59 they have benefited other kids and other people.
01:00:02 We have learned a lot from these things.
01:00:05 So, who do I have with me?
01:00:07 I have Maheen. What is Maheen going to tell us
01:00:11 about what she learned from her life,
01:00:13 what she bared for herself,
01:00:14 maybe your daughter can learn something from that.
01:00:17 Yes, Maheen.
01:00:18 - Hello. - Hello.
01:00:21 I'm going to my mother's house
01:00:26 to pick up my daughter.
01:00:27 - You were travelling in that cab - Yes.
01:00:30 - that we call through the app. - Yes, we call it through the app.
01:00:34 Okay. We have a security for that.
01:00:36 Because we call it through the app,
01:00:38 four people from the company know
01:00:41 that the car and the driver are coming to pick us up.
01:00:44 - Yes. - I was going with my daughters.
01:00:47 They came to pick us up from the beginning.
01:00:51 It was okay, but later on, they started doing strange things.
01:00:55 My number had gone to them.
01:00:57 They were pointing at me to remove my mask.
01:01:01 They were looking back.
01:01:03 They weren't paying attention to the car.
01:01:05 My daughter started crying when she saw this.
01:01:08 She said, "Mum, why is this uncle doing this?"
01:01:11 I was very scared.
01:01:13 I said, "What should I do?"
01:01:14 "You drive the car, take the string."
01:01:17 He was taking the phone instead of the string.
01:01:20 He was looking at me through the mirror.
01:01:22 He was looking back.
01:01:24 I was very scared.
01:01:25 I told him to stop the car.
01:01:27 I would take another car and go.
01:01:30 But he said, "No."
01:01:31 He said, "If you want to get down, pay me double."
01:01:35 I said, "Okay."
01:01:36 My daughters were crying. I was helpless.
01:01:38 I agreed to pay him double.
01:01:41 But when I got down,
01:01:44 we had a deal of Rs. 1,000.
01:01:45 He started paying me Rs. 2,000.
01:01:46 He said, "No, I want Rs. 5,000."
01:01:49 I gave him Rs. 5,000 and saved my life.
01:01:52 My daughters were crying.
01:01:54 I was feeling very bad.
01:01:57 I didn't know what to do.
01:01:59 - I just... - Will you tell me the area?
01:02:02 - Was it a quiet area? - Yes, it was a quiet area.
01:02:06 You didn't complain to the company?
01:02:10 No, I didn't. I was scared.
01:02:12 My father used to tell me not to go alone.
01:02:15 I said, "It's easier. I'll book a car and go."
01:02:18 He said, "Yes."
01:02:19 I didn't tell him that...
01:02:22 - You didn't get permission? - No.
01:02:23 I didn't get permission. Why did you go with my daughters?
01:02:26 Oh, God!
01:02:29 And you gave him Rs. 5,000?
01:02:31 Yes, I paid him Rs. 5,000 to save my life.
01:02:34 You didn't tell anyone else to email him
01:02:40 or send him a complaint?
01:02:41 Because he did this to you.
01:02:43 He'll do the same to so many other women.
01:02:45 He's working for the same company.
01:02:47 No one is going to stop him.
01:02:50 I didn't do anything because I was worried.
01:02:53 I want to ask you both what you should have done
01:02:57 when he asked you to give him Rs. 5,000.
01:02:59 What should you have done?
01:03:01 - She's a poor woman. - I don't know what to say.
01:03:04 It was so quiet.
01:03:06 He saved his life.
01:03:08 His daughters were with him.
01:03:09 He did what he thought was right.
01:03:11 You can't even think of bargaining.
01:03:15 If you had a weapon, a pepper spray
01:03:18 or something that gives you strength and courage
01:03:23 to fight him...
01:03:24 He had a phone but he was so scared to use it.
01:03:28 - His hands would shake. - Exactly.
01:03:31 You couldn't do anything.
01:03:33 You should be proud of yourself
01:03:38 that you didn't let anything happen.
01:03:40 You protected yourself.
01:03:41 You didn't know he could do this.
01:03:43 He saved his life with Rs. 5,000.
01:03:46 He did what he thought was right.
01:03:49 - But again... - Next time.
01:03:52 You shouldn't be scared.
01:03:54 This was a one-off incident.
01:03:58 Not everyone is like that.
01:04:01 There are all kinds of people in the world
01:04:03 but not everyone is the same.
01:04:06 If one person is like that,
01:04:08 it doesn't mean the other person is the same.
01:04:11 My mother used to say something very nice.
01:04:13 She used to say, "We won't let you live in fear of death."
01:04:16 When you have to die,
01:04:19 you won't let go of life.
01:04:22 You won't let go of driving in an accident.
01:04:26 - Exactly. - You won't let anything
01:04:28 - take over you. - Exactly.
01:04:30 - Anything can happen. - I would say
01:04:31 that the only person who survived the PIA air crash
01:04:38 is the person who travels again.
01:04:42 - Exactly. - Right?
01:04:43 He was the only person who survived the PIA air crash.
01:04:48 - Exactly. - He should be so scared.
01:04:50 All the other passengers died.
01:04:55 He was the only one who survived.
01:04:57 But he still travels.
01:04:58 - He travels from wherever he is. - Yes.
01:05:00 It doesn't mean that if you have been in an accident,
01:05:04 you should let go of life.
01:05:05 You have to learn from it.
01:05:07 - Experience teaches you a lot. - Absolutely.
01:05:09 If you have experienced it once,
01:05:12 you should be aware of it.
01:05:14 If you have an accident with a car,
01:05:16 especially if the doors of the car are closed,
01:05:20 if you are scared,
01:05:22 before you enter the car,
01:05:24 there is a child lock on the side.
01:05:26 Child lock is a button on the side.
01:05:31 You can see if the child lock is open or closed.
01:05:35 When the child lock is open,
01:05:39 it is closed when it is closed.
01:05:40 When you open the child lock,
01:05:43 you should see the child lock and put it up.
01:05:45 Then you sit.
01:05:47 - Okay? - Because people who do this,
01:05:50 - they have put a child lock. - Yes.
01:05:52 - You can't even get out. - You can't get out of the car.
01:05:55 This is a very good point.
01:05:57 Nadia told me that in such cars,
01:05:59 - while sitting, it is round. - No, it's a button.
01:06:03 I request my team to take a picture of the child lock from Google.
01:06:10 - I will share it on the screen. - Where the door handle is,
01:06:13 there is a lock inside the door handle.
01:06:16 - You can put it up and down. - It is in every car.
01:06:19 - Whether it is a big or small car. - Yes.
01:06:21 Every car has a child lock.
01:06:22 They close the child lock many times
01:06:25 so that you can't get out or run.
01:06:26 - You can't open the child lock. - Very good. Valid point.
01:06:29 I think it's a very good thing that my mother always said.
01:06:32 If you ever need to take a taxi or cab,
01:06:35 tell everyone to show their face.
01:06:37 Take a picture of it and say on the phone,
01:06:39 "I have sent you the car number and picture.
01:06:41 I am leaving now."
01:06:43 - I am sending you a very good message. - These apps,
01:06:46 when you sit in them,
01:06:47 especially when you sit in an app car,
01:06:52 you can share your location.
01:06:55 You can also send a message, a voice note,
01:07:02 a fake voice note.
01:07:05 "I have shared my location."
01:07:08 - Or the driver's information. - You have to show confidence.
01:07:13 You are not scared or intimidated.
01:07:15 You are a dad.
01:07:16 And as you said,
01:07:19 there was an incident in Islamabad or Lahore.
01:07:21 A girl was sitting in a car from her office.
01:07:24 She was driving.
01:07:26 She was opening the door and putting her luggage.
01:07:28 In the meantime, three people came in her car.
01:07:32 They told her to sit in the next seat.
01:07:37 One person was driving and two people were behind her.
01:07:39 And they made her sit in the front seat.
01:07:41 Her mobile phone had the location open.
01:07:45 She got the phone and got a chance.
01:07:47 She didn't freeze.
01:07:49 She was so confident.
01:07:50 She put her phone under the seat.
01:07:51 The location of the phone was under the seat.
01:07:55 The husband heard that she was in trouble.
01:07:58 The location of the phone was open.
01:08:01 The husband and father followed her.
01:08:03 They reached behind the car.
01:08:05 They kidnapped the girl and were taking her.
01:08:08 They reached there.
01:08:09 They saw two cars behind them.
01:08:12 They were following them.
01:08:13 The boys left the girl and ran away.
01:08:18 And the girl was found.
01:08:21 You have to show confidence.
01:08:25 The girl was confident.
01:08:27 She dialed her husband's mobile phone.
01:08:31 And the location was open.
01:08:32 The same thing happened.
01:08:33 The location was your family.
01:08:34 There are many ways to escape.
01:08:36 When you are confident.
01:08:38 You can show the location.
01:08:41 And the person listening to you is alert.
01:08:44 You can share the driver's information.
01:08:48 You can share the driver's name and phone number.
01:08:50 The app has all the information.
01:08:52 Yes, you can share everything.
01:08:55 That's why I am surprised.
01:08:57 When they booked her through the app.
01:08:59 She can hold her neck.
01:09:01 She must know that she is a girl with a veil.
01:09:03 She is not educated.
01:09:06 She was throwing the pear.
01:09:06 Exactly. She is scared.
01:09:08 She is a girl.
01:09:09 So she took advantage of the situation.
01:09:11 Your body language alone shows your confidence.
01:09:16 That you are confident.
01:09:18 Yes.
01:09:19 So Seher is with us.
01:09:21 Seher, greetings.
01:09:22 Greetings.
01:09:24 Seher, what happened with you?
01:09:25 My story is that I was doing my exams in the university.
01:09:28 So my friends and I decided to study together.
01:09:32 Okay.
01:09:33 So my brother dropped me at my friend's house at 6 pm.
01:09:37 Because it was the nearest house.
01:09:40 So we decided to go to his house.
01:09:42 Okay.
01:09:42 He dropped me there at 6 pm.
01:09:44 We decided to study and be free by 10 pm.
01:09:48 But we were so involved in studies and other things.
01:09:53 So it was 2 pm.
01:09:55 Oh.
01:09:56 I got a call at 2 pm.
01:09:58 Neither my parents nor my brother answered the call.
01:10:02 So I decided to go home through a private cab.
01:10:05 At 2 pm?
01:10:06 Yes.
01:10:07 Oh my God.
01:10:08 Because my friend's house was 15-20 minutes away.
01:10:13 Okay.
01:10:14 So I decided to go home in a cab.
01:10:17 So I took a cab at 2 pm.
01:10:19 Good job. Your friend's mother didn't ask you to stay.
01:10:22 Where is your friend's mother?
01:10:23 I wasn't allowed to stay at home.
01:10:26 I am surprised.
01:10:27 Our parents never leave us.
01:10:30 They ask us to come home at 11 pm.
01:10:33 Yes.
01:10:34 Then?
01:10:35 My family called me after 10 pm.
01:10:38 But I told them that I will come home safely.
01:10:40 I am studying because I have an exam next week.
01:10:42 Okay.
01:10:43 So I got in the cab.
01:10:45 So he was normal with me.
01:10:48 Then he...
01:10:48 You called a cab through an app.
01:10:51 Yes.
01:10:52 And you got in the cab alone at 2 pm.
01:10:55 Yes.
01:10:55 To go home.
01:10:56 Yes.
01:10:56 Okay.
01:10:58 So he was normal with me.
01:11:00 Then he started talking to me.
01:11:02 He showed his involvement.
01:11:04 I ignored him.
01:11:06 Then he started talking to me in a strange way.
01:11:11 I got a little loud at that point.
01:11:13 And I told him not to talk to me like that.
01:11:16 I don't like it.
01:11:17 Yes.
01:11:18 I said so much.
01:11:19 He started shouting at me.
01:11:21 If you talk to me like that, I will take you to a place...
01:11:25 ...from where you will never come back.
01:11:27 Yes.
01:11:28 I couldn't do anything at that point.
01:11:30 Because the road was deserted.
01:11:32 If I had opened the gate and jumped...
01:11:36 ...it would have been useless.
01:11:37 He could have caught me easily.
01:11:39 Anyway, I am the only one who knows...
01:11:42 ...how I passed that 15-20 minute road.
01:11:44 Anyway, as soon as I came home...
01:11:46 ...I threw money at his face.
01:11:48 And I opened the gate and went home.
01:11:50 And you didn't complain about him?
01:11:51 No.
01:11:52 Because at that point...
01:11:52 You are an educated girl.
01:11:53 You won't complain.
01:11:55 I mean, you don't share your house.
01:11:58 I am saying that educated girls...
01:12:02 ...I like it so much that they write it on their page.
01:12:05 That thing goes viral.
01:12:07 Some girls, when they don't know...
01:12:10 ...where they have to complain, they write it on their page.
01:12:15 And many other girls learn from that.
01:12:18 So why didn't you complain to that company?
01:12:22 When the driver of that company...
01:12:25 ...has their name and bio data...
01:12:28 ...you should have taken a screenshot at that time.
01:12:31 Sir, I will say something here.
01:12:33 She herself is saying that her brother dropped her.
01:12:37 So the brother would have picked her up at night.
01:12:39 The father would have picked her up.
01:12:39 No one picked up the phone.
01:12:41 They must have slept.
01:12:42 No, I think that doesn't matter.
01:12:43 I think that if something is wrong...
01:12:47 ...then it should be called wrong.
01:12:48 Here, of course...
01:12:50 Because this is a stupid thing.
01:12:52 You sat in your car at night.
01:12:54 If your family is at home, why didn't you come to pick her up?
01:12:58 So that's really not...
01:12:59 I think that some things happen...
01:13:02 ...that you have to look after your family.
01:13:04 Even if the girl has left...
01:13:07 ...she didn't come home till 2 am.
01:13:10 So it becomes their responsibility.
01:13:13 I will show you the picture of child lock.
01:13:17 I have taken it out from Google.
01:13:19 If you want to see, see this.
01:13:21 How to unlock it.
01:13:23 Like she said, up.
01:13:25 Nadia said, if you do it up, it will be unlocked.
01:13:28 If you do it down, it will be locked.
01:13:30 This is put in the car for the safety of the children.
01:13:32 But if someone has a conspiracy in their mind...
01:13:35 ...like there are some drivers or something...
01:13:37 ...then this thing can happen there too.
01:13:40 Often if you try to open the car...
01:13:42 ...then the door of the car will not open.
01:13:44 So I will show you again.
01:13:45 We are sharing this picture with you.
01:13:47 In almost every car, there is a child lock.
01:13:52 You have to unlock it while sitting in such unknown cars.
01:13:57 By doing this up.
01:13:59 So Nadia gave a very good point.
01:14:02 And with the help of which we showed you the picture.
01:14:04 We are going to a small break.
01:14:06 And after the break, we will give you small tips...
01:14:09 ...that how important it is to make your daughters smart in today's world.
01:14:13 Good morning, Pakistan.
01:14:15 [MUSIC PLAYING]
01:14:17 Welcome, welcome back.
01:14:25 Good morning, Pakistan.
01:14:27 In today's program...
01:14:29 ...we got the idea that we are looking at the girls around us.
01:14:33 Even now in this era...
01:14:36 ...I can see scared girls.
01:14:39 And that thing is being transferred from their mothers.
01:14:42 There are many rich families...
01:14:45 ...where women are scared.
01:14:48 Because their upbringing is like this.
01:14:51 And because of them...
01:14:54 ...all their nature is being transferred to their daughters.
01:14:57 And daughters who are being sold to study abroad...
01:15:01 ...who are being married into good families...
01:15:05 ...they are scared like that.
01:15:07 And they can't raise their voice for themselves.
01:15:09 - They are easy victims. - Yes, yes.
01:15:12 So, I feel that...
01:15:15 ...the girls who live in the streets are more confident.
01:15:20 Because they go to work in the bus to earn money.
01:15:23 Instead of that, the girls of rich families...
01:15:27 ...who are scared and have a veil over their head...
01:15:30 ...they are completely suppressed.
01:15:31 - They don't learn survival. - Yes.
01:15:33 So, I say again...
01:15:35 ...that the girls who live in the streets are smarter than them.
01:15:40 Experience teaches you a lot.
01:15:42 And I feel that experience is with you...
01:15:45 ...whether it's good or bad.
01:15:47 So, you should learn from it.
01:15:49 I know a girl...
01:15:51 ...who was brought up by her brothers.
01:15:54 She didn't even know how to cross the road.
01:15:56 Because she was always told not to look there...
01:15:58 ...don't do this, don't do that.
01:15:59 If you are going to college, you are going to drop her.
01:16:01 If you are going to pick her, you are going to drop her.
01:16:03 When she got married, her in-laws used to say...
01:16:06 ...this girl doesn't know how to cross the road.
01:16:09 How will she raise her children?
01:16:10 She was insulted for this.
01:16:13 She got divorced.
01:16:14 She started living alone.
01:16:16 Now, that girl rides a cycle.
01:16:20 That girl rides a cycle and goes through the cars.
01:16:23 The society made her so confident...
01:16:26 ...that she is riding a cycle and someone says, "Hey!"
01:16:30 She turns around and answers, "Look ahead."
01:16:34 Sometimes, your society makes you confident.
01:16:39 Your parents and siblings can't make you confident.
01:16:43 If we conclude this program that we showed people today...
01:16:48 ...what would you say, Sana?
01:16:49 I would say that this is a skill.
01:16:53 The way you teach a child to wear clothes, bathe...
01:16:56 ...wash utensils, this is a skill.
01:16:58 These are all milestones.
01:17:00 This is such an important skill.
01:17:03 Ask your child questions.
01:17:05 Start with a small child.
01:17:07 Ask him what will happen if this happens.
01:17:10 Nothing is happening but you are preparing him for life.
01:17:13 It's a life skill.
01:17:15 Self-protection is very important.
01:17:18 It's the key.
01:17:19 Our brain is designed to detect and protect fear.
01:17:23 First, teach your children self-protection from a very young age.
01:17:28 If a utensil breaks, bring a dustpan or brush...
01:17:32 ...and teach him to pick it up and put it in the dustbin.
01:17:35 Don't scare him.
01:17:37 You should tell your maid to pick it up.
01:17:39 Exactly. We practice this.
01:17:40 Teach them.
01:17:42 You should teach them how to survive the dangers.
01:17:48 Perfection comes from practice.
01:17:50 They will get their share of life.
01:17:54 But you should learn from them.
01:17:56 A person has to bear the burden of his life.
01:18:00 How long will the parents live?
01:18:02 How long will they raise him?
01:18:07 Nadia, what do you say?
01:18:09 If you are putting all your efforts to raise your daughters...
01:18:15 ...what approach are you taking?
01:18:17 I want to gain your personal experience.
01:18:20 I have always said that communication is extremely important.
01:18:25 Communication between parents and children.
01:18:30 You should never blame the victim.
01:18:33 You should never blame the victim.
01:18:38 You should never blame the victim, even if it is your child.
01:18:45 I have heard and experienced many such cases.
01:18:50 There are people who have shared their experiences with me.
01:18:53 If they have told their parents that something like this happened to them...
01:18:58 ...the parents would have blamed the children.
01:19:03 They would have blamed them.
01:19:05 In homes, you always blame the victim.
01:19:10 If a girl crosses the street and a boy says something to her...
01:19:15 ...you should have confidence that you are not wrong.
01:19:19 You should tell your parents or your brother or the neighbours.
01:19:26 You should not be afraid.
01:19:29 You should raise your voice and communicate.
01:19:33 Communication is the key.
01:19:35 When you communicate, you automatically gain confidence...
01:19:42 ...that what happened to me was wrong.
01:19:44 You should not blame yourself.
01:19:47 This was our show for today.
01:19:49 Before we end the show, let me tell you...
01:19:52 ...that we have started a new phobia of cricket.
01:19:57 Thank God, we have started the show again.
01:20:01 HBL PSL Season 9 has started as you know.
01:20:06 Karachi Kings is playing in it.
01:20:10 We are with Karachi Kings.
01:20:11 But I would like to take the name of other sponsors.
01:20:16 Karachi Kings has ARY Laguna DHA City, Karachi.
01:20:20 ARY Laguna DHA Gujranwala.
01:20:22 Titanium Sponsors, Imtiaz Supermarket, Platinum Supermarket Partner.
01:20:28 VGO, VGOtel is a Platinum Mobile Phone Partner.
01:20:35 Dolenz Reliable Appliances Partner.
01:20:39 Mughal Steel Strength Partner.
01:20:42 Easy Color Styling Partner, Taj Darbar Restaurant Partner.
01:20:47 YOLO, Spot Watch Partner.
01:20:50 Rose Petal and Maxib Hygiene Partner.
01:20:54 So this was our show for today.
01:20:56 I hope you have gained something from this panel...
01:20:58 ...or from the experiences of the girls and girls present here.
01:21:07 You must have learnt something.
01:21:09 So make your daughters strong and smart.
01:21:12 Because these days are not the time to live in fear.
01:21:16 If you want them to be successful, make them smart.
01:21:19 Sewing, cooking and more important than cooking is important.
01:21:23 Good morning Pakistan and Khuda Hafiz.
01:21:25 [MUSIC]
01:21:30 Experience the excitement live.
01:21:32 Catch every thrilling moment of PSL 9 live on A-Sports.