Catégorie
😹
AmusantTranscription
00:00 Sabrina The Animated Series, Episode 19.
00:03 Hilda asks Sabrina if she loves shopping at the Netherworld Mall.
00:07 Her aunts are selfishly forcing her to carry all of the gifts herself.
00:11 I have a feeling that's not normal for parents.
00:15 Why would Hilda think she enjoys this?
00:18 Her aunts insist that Sabrina should suffer through this as a rite of passage.
00:23 But there's no way any witch would carry the gifts instead of making them float behind her.
00:29 Like 70s Sabrina did with her books.
00:31 So there's no reason her aunts would make her carry them to experience what witch shopping is like.
00:37 Again, they're opposed to her frivolously using magic, but they do it.
00:41 Then they go to see a celebrity.
00:44 And I assume the voice actress was directed to make her sound super annoying just to force you to hate her.
00:50 Sabrina bets that her life is better because she's not told what to do, even though she still would have a boss.
00:58 Not to mention obligations to her fans.
01:00 And as usual, her aunts waste their breath trying to talk her out of this without doing so properly by saying this woman has a boss.
01:08 Sabrina waits alone, somehow unsupervised.
01:12 And then Alien scares her.
01:14 He compliments her scared reaction.
01:17 Even though it's not impressive because it was a genuine reaction, not a display of acting skill.
01:23 Somehow he even scares himself.
01:27 How is he so desperate for actors that he's turning to a random girl in the street?
01:32 He also offers her a contract to sign.
01:34 This seems too easy, so I'm wondering if this is a scam.
01:38 She's told she'll have to go through a documentary about her life.
01:42 And she'll get money.
01:44 She somehow thinks she'll have to not take orders from anyone just because she'll be a celebrity, even though the law would still require her to live with her parental figures.
01:54 Quigley tells Sabrina that it's not a good idea.
01:57 And naturally it sounds fishy to him.
01:59 And he asks what they know about this director.
02:02 Salem says Sabrina's whiny and she uses magic to trap him in pots.
02:07 Somehow Quigley doesn't tell her off.
02:09 Nor does her aunts, because they're used to it.
02:12 And he's more interested in warning her about not signing.
02:15 He also says she'll have to work hard.
02:18 And that the celebrity's job is to look happy.
02:22 While Sabrina might have to deal with even more demands than before.
02:25 Why isn't he being more clear about this?
02:28 Salem reasons that maybe Sabrina would end up rich enough to hire a good chef.
02:33 Or one of the many witches here could zap up better food.
02:38 Sabrina keeps whining, as if she never heard him.
02:41 And he at least lampshades that he's a pushover.
02:44 It's pure plot convenience, because he's never a pushover when it comes to grounding her.
02:51 It is realistic that she just confidently convinces herself she could handle the hard work.
02:57 Not only is she a preteen, but she doesn't know what exactly the hard work will be.
03:01 She wakes up and screams at being greeted by a camera.
03:05 It's annoying that the director tells her off.
03:08 He tells her to make the bed with magic.
03:11 Because the show is called "That Witch".
03:13 Not "That Boring Mortal Girl".
03:16 This better not be trying to give a middle finger to literally everyone who criticizes the show for not using enough magic.
03:23 He says he'll get low ratings if she doesn't use more magic.
03:27 And I get sad from remembering that the show is multiple seasons.
03:31 Sabrina's told to fly to school.
03:33 And then pressured to turn Gem into a fronk.
03:36 If she even can be pressured into doing that, why doesn't she do that quickly more often?
03:43 She says she doesn't usually take care of her problems with magic.
03:46 Bullshit!
03:47 What is known in the whole here the director.
03:51 He should explain that he has a spell cast on him from a magical artifact to make it that way.
03:57 I like seeing Gem get turned into a mouse and run away.
04:00 I hope the writer doesn't think I should be opposed to her overuse of magic for no reason.
04:06 Because I love it.
04:07 It's objectively more entertaining.
04:10 Then there's an annoying, happy, cheesy song about Sabrina.
04:13 It kind of reminds me of the tone of the 70's cartoons theme song.
04:17 We see other Realmers dance and enjoy watching the show outside.
04:22 Somehow even the celebrity from earlier is jealous of her.
04:26 Even though she's just another TV star and she'd be used to there being billions of other TV stars out there.
04:32 Surely this couldn't be the first time a TV star was more popular than her.
04:38 Sabrina says she's a star even though she already was.
04:41 She's somehow woken up at 4 AM.
04:44 I don't think she was woken up at 4 AM last time.
04:49 So what?
04:50 She's brushing her teeth.
04:53 And the director tells her she should brush with more conviction.
04:56 Somehow not doing that last time she woke up.
05:00 And it proves that she's had tons of takes.
05:03 Why didn't we see her brush with magic?
05:07 It's not like him to not tell her to use magic to brush her teeth.
05:11 Then he complains when she's doing her homework.
05:14 Then she goes into the attic somehow thinking she'll be alone to write in her diary.
05:19 But conveniently sees the camera and sees that her diary got a note on it.
05:24 She throws the diary and it leaves the director still acting nice to her.
05:28 Then she's told to go through a special appearance.
05:32 All of this is forced because Sabrina would brainwash the director out of any behavior she disapproves of.
05:38 Because there's an episode where she brainwashes her stepmom to be like her.
05:42 We don't need a third episode with a message that being famous is horrible.
05:46 Again, there's no chance that a random kid watching the show would ever get to be famous.
05:51 And if not every episode is mandated to have a message.
05:56 That just makes it even more bullshit than any of them do.
06:01 It comes off like the writers are lazy and out of ideas.
06:05 Because it's so easy to write a story about a message about how to live your life.
06:09 I'm sure plenty of other shows have done that so all you have to do is copy them.
06:13 She's told she's not allowed to go with Harvey.
06:16 And she complains that she's being bossed around and quits.
06:20 Wouldn't she have done this a little earlier?
06:22 Somehow, somehow the illegal contract doesn't force her to use magic in her show.
06:29 Somehow he didn't think ahead enough to put that in the contract.
06:34 Like he didn't know that sometimes witches are being raised in the mortal realm to not use magic all the time.
06:42 I assume that he thinks he isn't allowed to get the contract magically edited so that it will say she has to use magic in the show.
06:50 But he thinks it's allowed to have a contract in the first place.
06:53 He wants to force her to use magic because he thinks his show will get cancelled otherwise.
06:59 He's told that he's in front of something that could wipe out all of witchdom.
07:03 There's no way that Tim the Witch Smeller could do that if he hasn't done it in centuries.
07:09 I was always worried that he'd be brought back.
07:12 But this is such a forced way to do it.
07:15 There's no way this guy would be allowed to casually walk down the hall of a prison unsupervised and just casually unlock Tim's cell.
07:24 He's a director, not a prison warden.
07:28 The writer didn't even try.
07:30 He should've just had a witch create a witch hunter.
07:33 As Tim the Sky doesn't have magic.
07:36 I know him being in his cell was inconsistent.
07:39 But it makes sense that he'd be picked up from the house he was in and put in a prison.
07:44 It was clearly a mistake, but it makes sense that the head witch would be notified about him.
07:50 He then uses something to trap Sabrina's family in the house.
07:55 And he scares her with the magic scrambler.
07:57 When it turns out they ran out of film,
07:59 he somehow says to please hurry, instead of just going after them with a device anyways.
08:05 So they have time to run away.
08:07 Even if he was being bribed, I think he would care more about chasing witches.
08:12 I would've been more grateful that he came back because his immunity to magic means there's finally a great villain for Sabrina to deal with.
08:19 But he shows up way too late to save the episode.
08:23 It should've been explained the main villain of this is immune to brainwashing magic, so it can make sense that things got to this point.
08:30 Sabrina finds in the attic a blanket that could teleport somebody anywhere.
08:35 She asks Tim who freed him from prison.
08:38 The director makes sure that it won't be recorded anymore.
08:41 Then the director admits he freed Tim and starts ranting like a madman on camera,
08:46 with Salem recording him.
08:48 I guess it's realistic that someone would want to brag if they're arrogant, but he could've easily not made this rant.
08:54 Tim says "And I thought I was nasty."
08:57 Salem reveals that he had a camera that could send a live recording of the director ranting to the exact same audience.
09:04 To be fair, he is the witch.
09:07 The director gets warped away because he's in trouble now.
09:10 It's convenient that the director doesn't assume Salem brainwashed him into saying this.
09:16 I guess he hated him and wanted an excuse to fire him.
09:18 Then after Sabrina talks for a while, during which Tim could've easily done something to her,
09:24 a blanket gets dropped on him to warp him to prison.
09:27 It should've been written that the blanket got dropped on him much faster right before he was gonna shoot at her.
09:33 That was pathetic.
09:34 Tim could've not been in the episode, and it wouldn't have mattered.
09:38 He just contributed padding.
09:40 Speaking of padding, the next scene is that.
09:43 We already know the moral.
09:44 And if they could put teleportation into a blanket, why don't they have the pixie powder from the comic in the show?
09:51 Sabrina hugs Quigley, saying that at least the people ordering her around love her.
09:56 Quigley never comes off like it.
09:59 Then we see Salem talking on the phone, and he gets glared at because he did something he wasn't allowed to do.
10:04 Sabrina showed up with the pushy director when it became annoying.
10:09 Because she's fine with brainwashing people.
10:12 I loved seeing her use magic more than usual, so I liked a lot of the episode.
10:16 But it wasn't believable that the director freed Tim, because how was he able to do that?
10:22 There's no security, and Tim would've been turned into a cat by now since Salem was.
10:27 He also would've had all of his anti-magic technology confiscated and destroyed by this point.
10:33 Maybe he had an extra stash at home, and he went there.
10:39 And it wasn't worth sacrificing logic to have him if he got defeated effortlessly, and all he did was cause the ants to hide in the attic.
10:46 But I think the fact that Tim was pointless ultimately makes up for how forced it is that he came back, because I liked most of the episode.
10:53 I hope the director wasn't supposed to be a straw man representing the people smart enough to know that the show is too boring as it is.
10:59 Because if so, then the show had no excuse for remaining as it was and then getting worse.
11:04 Sure, it still had ratings as it was.
11:08 But ratings doesn't mean you're doing good, and it would've lasted longer if Sabrina always used magic this much.
11:14 This is the first on the higher tier of good episodes, because the uses of magic were mostly not demonized.
11:21 Aside from one use not important to the plot.
11:24 And the show did nothing that actually convinced the audience it was crossing a line to abuse Jem.
11:30 Sabrina the Animated Series, Episode 20.
11:34 The beginning's impossible for me to care about, because it starts with the three musketeers fighting in Sabrina's room when I don't know why.
11:41 And Sabrina says Salem promised this wouldn't last very long.
11:45 This is so forced, she just points to get rid of them.
11:49 Or if she wants their fight to happen, she would just warp them somewhere else, and warp somewhere else to watch them.
11:56 And the music playing here reminds me of a music piece in Super Smash Bros. Brawl so much that it's distracting.
12:03 She complains about her book report and that her room's a mess after they're gone.
12:07 Zap it away.
12:10 Salem blames her because she wanted her book report to come alive, being a victim blamer.
12:16 How'd this happen by accident when you'd have to visualize it?
12:19 The writer continues to humiliate Sabrina, but at least the flashbacks have her messed up for realistic reasons this time.
12:27 Harvey talks to Sabrina, with an outfit because he has to be an usher, and he says Sabrina's toaster is ringing as if it's totally something he doesn't care about.
12:36 Maybe he assumes Zelda invented it.
12:39 Zelda says they got two emergency messages from the Netherworld.
12:43 One is from Sabrina's grandparents, who have been separated for a long time now, and want to tell their family something important.
12:52 Sabrina wonders if they're gonna get a divorce and gets told she's probably wrong, so that makes me assume she's wrong.
12:59 Because she's an idiot in this show.
13:01 In the phrase in that letter makes it come off like if anything, the letter's announcing that they're gonna be closer, not get a divorce.
13:09 Sabrina wastes her time with a flashback where she's a kid.
13:13 So it's official. The flashbacks in black and white are only that way to rush the episode out.
13:18 The mailman gives Sabrina something and talks too much, and Sabrina rants and raves about a book, and Hilda just says "ha" as if she doesn't care what she has to say.
13:28 Sabrina has a plan to dissuade her grandparents from divorcing, and Quigley doubts her as well.
13:34 Hilda then believes Sabrina out of nowhere in its melodramatic scream, which would only make sense if she was making fun of her.
13:40 And Salem gets scared from a toaster.
13:43 Quigley says he's usually not comfortable with meddling people's lives.
13:48 How does he think that when he's fine with doing that to Sabrina every day?
13:52 Get rid of this character!
13:54 How does no one call him out?
13:56 He insists it'll help her, but only if there's no magic.
14:00 I never expected magic.
14:03 But now that he says that, I'm just disappointed that there definitely won't be magic.
14:08 And if there still will be, there's really no point in him saying this.
14:11 Salem says Sabrina's plan won't work when he doesn't even know it.
14:16 That's how genre-savvy he is.
14:18 And she picks him up, and he tells her to get her knuckles out of his ribcage.
14:23 He says her grandparents are very stubborn.
14:26 I wish there wasn't padding where Sabrina was getting unsuccessfully reasoned with.
14:31 It just makes it even more frustrating because her behavior looks like it has no excuse, and she looks unsympathetic.
14:37 There's a reason this never happened in the old comics.
14:41 Sabrina calls Harvey for help, and he says his parents played a lot of mini-golf.
14:46 Sabrina's grandpa is shown using magic on a ball, and the grandma sends it into a hole.
14:51 And despite them being happy together in her daydream, she somehow asks for something else.
14:56 And he says his parents went to concerts.
14:59 And for no apparent reason, she doesn't think that would work either.
15:03 And then he says his parents went out to dinner a lot, so she has the obvious idea to give her grandparents a romantic dinner.
15:10 So her time calling Harvey was a waste of time because she could've easily had this lazy idea right away.
15:16 And there's no way the mini-golfing concert would've failed in a way so catastrophic that it would be interesting to watch.
15:22 Still, it should've been mentioned as happening off-screen.
15:25 Sabrina wants the dinner to be carried out, even though Hilda can't cook without magic.
15:30 But other adults in the room could.
15:32 Sabrina's grandpa goes into the house alone and hugs her happily.
15:37 It's so obvious he isn't gonna announce a divorce because he's in a good mood.
15:41 His voice is so silly.
15:44 It's really trying to make him sound entertaining.
15:46 Sabrina wants to stall off his announcement, so she lies that Salem isn't in the house, and he ends up seeing her in bed room, even though she clearly didn't want him to see it for some reason.
15:55 So checking is rude.
15:57 She becomes a pathological liar here when she inexplicably wastes time lying that her messy room is a new way of interior decorating.
16:05 Then her grandpa cleans her room with magic.
16:08 I wish she was being raised by her grandpa instead.
16:12 Good, quickly this idea amounted to nothing.
16:14 Sabrina calls her grandma the nicest, most beautiful woman in the Netherworld.
16:19 She doesn't get the hint when he happily agrees with her without hesitation.
16:23 Instead, she thinks that she's gotten him to say that because her plan worked.
16:28 How does someone so incompetent have such an ego?
16:32 Her grandma warps and hugs her.
16:35 I like that the way she looks is so distinct and harmless.
16:38 Sabrina says her grandpa said that she's one in a million.
16:42 She tells her to talk about her trip before going to make the announcement.
16:46 She gets thanked for reminding her to tell her that on her way over, she was told to send her gifts.
16:51 She opens her bag and sends unicorns into the house.
16:54 It's obvious that wouldn't have happened.
16:56 They had to take care of them.
16:58 But I can see where Sabrina got this from.
17:01 The grandpa tells her off that there's no way to housebreak a unicorn.
17:05 She wouldn't have done this then.
17:06 Unicorns have to be immune to magic if you can't cast a spell to housebreak them.
17:12 How did he not think that you could do that?
17:14 She would have said you could cast a spell to housebreak them.
17:18 Then she ruins his tie and her hair gets changed.
17:22 He tells her she's irresponsible and summons bats.
17:26 She summons snakes on his body.
17:28 Why did he agree with Sabrina about her if she's that abusive?
17:32 He's lucky he got rid of them before they could bite him.
17:35 He must have only married her for looks.
17:38 He summons rain on her head and Salem smartly says that divorce wouldn't be such a bad thing.
17:43 He says that he's known plenty of other couples who divorced and went on to be happily married to other people.
17:49 Sabrina selfishly says that it would be too awful even though it would make her grandparents happier.
17:54 It is realistic though for a kid to say that because she doesn't want her family to change.
17:59 Hilda says Spooky Jar to the rescue and Zelda doesn't know about this.
18:03 So she's the more cautious one for sure.
18:06 Still, again I wish they said that Spooky Jar is used to save magic because every time they reference the idea of using it,
18:13 they phrase things as if spooky is the only way they could accomplish that feat of magic.
18:18 Sabrina's grandma is such silly overacting.
18:21 But at least she has grandparents in this continuity.
18:25 Sabrina stalls them and gets them out of the kitchen.
18:27 Zelda hands Sabrina a paper and she reads it out.
18:31 And that changes the environment around her grandparents and adds a grandma in a wedding dress.
18:35 And the grandparents dance while hearing a sappy love song.
18:38 Then little rocks start falling.
18:41 And rather than using magic to deal with this, the grandma insults him.
18:45 Eventually Hilda says they didn't know their honeymoon was a disaster.
18:49 Harvey shows up at Sabrina's house and wonders what he's seeing and she lies to him pushing him out of the house.
18:55 He could have easily not shown up.
18:58 Eventually Hilda starts adding potion ingredients to a bowl and taps it with a wand.
19:03 The love potion cups that the grandparents have get spilled and Sabrina runs to the kitchen wanting to use a backup glass
19:09 that they were uncharacteristically smart enough to make and sees quickly chasing a male woman.
19:14 Sabrina shows no in a badly acted way and says in front of her grandparents that they're getting divorced.
19:21 Her grandma puts her hands on her shoulders and predictably, it turns out they're just gonna renew their wedding vows.
19:29 Sabrina helps Salem get out from under the sink and he calls her out on being so stupid.
19:33 But I can't be satisfied with it because the writer just forced her to be that dumb.
19:39 Even Fran made serious Sabrina, so it's not fair.
19:42 Hilda says her parents looked cute leaving for their second honeymoon on a broom built for two.
19:47 Why didn't we see it?
19:49 And now Harvey greets Sabrina wanting to do some boarding with her.
19:53 Sabrina walks away with Harvey and she hears a horse noise and all he does is ask if she needs to check that out
19:59 when a normal kid would be wondering why there's a horse nearby all of a sudden when horses are expensive.
20:05 She says she's sure it'll be fine and then assumes she's jumping to a conclusion again.
20:11 She'd be hurt when she said that.
20:14 She should have thought it, not merely whispered even though she's right beside him so she'd know he'd hear her.
20:21 This part of the episode was so confusing that I watched it three times trying to understand what was going on.
20:26 Because I don't know why she asked her aunts for help
20:29 when nothing seemed to be happening to her before she ran back to them.
20:33 This episode was tedious because it made it way too obvious that Sabrina was wrong about thinking her grandparents were announcing their divorce
20:40 because she was constantly being warned that she could be wrong.
20:43 And combine that with the fact that the cheery wording of the letter instantly gave away that it wasn't going to be a depressing announcement like that.
20:51 And somehow nobody pointed out that they could have just been planning to renew their wedding vows
20:56 and it was just an idiot plot.
20:58 It's all to have Salem ranted Sabrina for jumping to conclusions.
21:03 But this isn't the way to teach that lesson.
21:06 She should have had more actual evidence because then it'd be a story about a situation a real kid could be in
21:12 where they would jump to a conclusion and it'd tell them why they shouldn't.
21:17 It tried its best to ruin what would normally be a great episode from showing off Sabrina's grandparents.
21:22 I'm glad they're magical to be entertaining.
21:24 And a grandpa was useful by cleaning her room with magic.
21:28 But for the most part magic was just demonized by their abuse of it.
21:32 When I only go to Sabrina to see magic be used for good for once.
21:36 Salem said that divorce would actually be good for them as a result.
21:40 So it makes no sense that they still plan to announce the renewal of their wedding vows after that
21:45 with nothing happening to change their minds about hating each other.
21:48 Other than potentially Sabrina saying that they're getting a divorce.
21:52 Salem's message that divorce can be good is actually a good one that they should have gone with instead.
21:58 They think giving Sabrina strict parents is realistic.
22:02 So why not go with a realistic message?
22:05 The plot could have been unchanged and harmlessly shortened if the letter never mentioned an announcement
22:10 and the whole family assumed the grandparents were going to get a divorce
22:14 only after seeing them abuse magic on each other.
22:16 Or even just remembering it and talking about it.
22:20 I hate that I tried to make Quigley look right because they all went wrong.
22:24 When the fact is I could have easily not gone wrong.
22:27 And nothing's gonna get me to be opposed to seeing magic in a franchise I go to to see magic
22:33 just because they force Quigley to always be right.
22:37 They could have stuck to Sabrina's idea to give them a romantic dinner
22:41 and that wouldn't have had a chance of going wrong.
22:43 Which is why that wasn't done as that would be boring to see.
22:46 Then she shouldn't have wasted all that time getting ideas from Harvey and then telling her family her idea
22:51 if it was just forgotten about.
22:53 And there's no excuse for Paddy ruining an episode.
22:56 SpongeBob and Family Oddparents can be consisting of two episodes.
23:01 Plus I wouldn't be surprised if Salem jumped to conclusions before too.
23:05 He jumped to the conclusion that Sabrina being honest would get her expelled.
23:09 So...