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00:00 because it's a mental illness, a disease that we can't see
00:03 So for me, I knew for sure that when I started to feel it, it would be difficult for me
00:08 So the phase was a very difficult phase for me because
00:12 I felt like, why did I dare to see a doctor but I was still sick?
00:17 My name is Muhammad Anis, also known as Anis, 28 years old
00:27 So for me, I knew for sure that when I started to feel it, it would be difficult for me
00:32 But what I can say is that I started to decide to meet a psychiatrist 5 years ago, in 2018
00:40 So I can say that maybe during my school days, I already had it
00:44 but I was in denial to dare to meet a specialist
00:55 For the cause, like I said earlier, it's a visual disorder
00:59 If it's a physical illness like a fever, we can know
01:03 But for a mental illness, maybe everyone has their own causes and symptoms
01:08 For me, maybe something that will trigger me, an event that gives me trauma
01:15 And this trauma may be from the point of speech, words or places that remind me back to the times I saw
01:26 What do you think about the importance of a psychiatrist?
01:30 I can say that after we meet a doctor, we will expect something good to come to us
01:40 because we have dared to see a doctor but we are still sick, why are we not cured?
01:47 So that phase was a very difficult phase for me because
01:50 I felt like, why did I dare to see a doctor but I was still sick?
01:56 So that's where it will question our decisions and actions
02:01 Why if it ends up like this, it's better if we don't see a doctor, it's better if we just continue doing what we do
02:09 I also have a history of hurting myself
02:15 But not to the critical level, but I can say that there are some incidents that I will hurt myself just for
02:23 because I am easier to blame myself than to blame others
02:30 So from that, I feel like what happened to me is me always alone
02:34 What do you think about the importance of a psychiatrist?
02:40 Honestly, the feeling of not having this disease, I think I chose to be normal
02:47 but at that time I was still looking for the right treatment for me
02:51 But I can say now I feel like I have accepted this disease because
02:58 throughout the treatment period, I met a lot of people who are very great, very strong
03:05 From that, I learned more about life
03:07 What is your experience of this disease?
03:12 For me, my experience is because I don't tell people around me about my illness
03:18 but I believe my good friends, I will not specifically tell about this disease
03:26 but more to someone to be by my side if I worry about what I will do to myself if I am alone
03:34 What is your experience of anxiety disorder?
03:40 If it comes suddenly, for me, anxiety disorder is like
03:44 I think all humans will have a feeling of nervousness, a feeling of anxiety
03:51 but for anxiety disorder, it is something that
03:54 both the Malays and the Malays are over-concerned
03:56 So the symptoms are the same, you will feel your body is strong, your hands are sweaty, cold
04:03 Then what I have tried in terms of treatment, one of them is maybe from biological
04:13 that is, I am active in exercise, I go to the gym, from that I try to busy myself
04:18 rather than thinking about something that will give, will trigger my illness
04:24 and more or less I will also work
04:28 because working for me is an escapism for me
04:31 with work, I will not have time to think about what is not supposed to be
04:36 What advice would you give to someone who is experiencing anxiety disorder?
04:41 For me, for this mental illness, we have to be brave
04:45 brave to seek help
04:49 because even though we feel strong
04:52 but actually we do need help from others
04:55 Although I said I have been suffering from this disease for a long time
05:00 I am not brave enough to meet a psychiatrist
05:04 but for me, if I hope, I will seek early treatment
05:08 but for those who are still out there, do not know what to do
05:12 try to be brave to make an appointment with a doctor
05:15 or bring someone who can feel comfortable to talk
05:18 you
05:20 (gentle music)
05:23 (gentle music)