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02:23 - 10
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Transcript
00:00 I think it's fair to say that Survivor Series is nobody's favourite WWE event.
00:03 I mean, that's not to say it's bad or that it doesn't have any value, it's just probably
00:07 fourth or fifth on your list.
00:08 Where does it rank on my list, I hear you ask?
00:10 Well, maybe Tempest will let me tell you one day.
00:13 He's a hard taskmaster, and he won't even let me write a shopping list without his prior
00:16 approval.
00:17 Keeping the audience's energy up for a show that's devolved somewhat into lazy brand warfare
00:20 booking is a bit of a challenge, so it requires a solid opener to warm up the crowd and get
00:24 the adrenaline pumping for the night ahead.
00:26 And in its, would we say, storied history, there have been more than a few curtain-jerkers
00:30 that did just that.
00:31 I'm Dan Hailing from PartsFunknown, and here are the 10 Best Survivor Series Opening Matches
00:35 Ever.
00:36 Let me paint you a picture.
00:38 You've completed all of TV and watched all the wrestling content from that past week,
00:42 you've even watched all the great WrestleTalk and PartsFunknown videos, and you've just
00:46 completed Final Fantasy VII for the seventh time this year, and you're sat there alone
00:50 in your pants with ice cream dripping down your chin, wishing there were ways to break
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02:20 10.
02:21 Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison, 2011
02:24 It's an interesting one to start our list off as it was a match that nobody in Madison
02:28 Square Garden actually wanted to see.
02:30 But what makes this match so great in my book is how Ziggler and Morrison are able to not
02:34 only power through and put on a decent match, but actually get the crowd back on side.
02:37 I mean, you've got an acrobat and a bump machine in there, it's gonna be an entertaining show.
02:41 There's a reverse T-bone suplex that makes my groin go a bit tingly.
02:44 And credit to Vickie Guerrero on the outside, closing her ears to the chants of "We Want
02:48 Ryder" and screaming her head off, somehow managing to be louder than 16,000 New Yorkers
02:53 screaming for Long Island Iced Tea.
02:55 The art of the wrestling manager is one I wish they would dedicate an entire wing of
02:58 the Performance Center to.
02:59 As the match draws to a close, the crowd can't help pausing from their Ryder chants to "Ooo"
03:03 and "Ahh".
03:04 Managing to win over a hostile crowd is a mark of the excellence of these performers,
03:07 and an example of the many occasions WWE have managed to book an excellent match in spite
03:11 of themselves.
03:12 Speaking of…
03:13 9.
03:14 The Body Donners vs. The Underdogs, 1995
03:15 Something you're going to hear about a lot from me on this list is pacing.
03:18 It's a delicate thing for a match to do.
03:20 If it takes too long to get going, your match can feel awkward and disjointed.
03:23 If you go too long, your drama can build and the audience rise with it, only to deflate
03:27 like a sad balloon.
03:28 And the very nature of a multi-man elimination match that became the Survivor Series staple
03:32 means that going long is exactly what most of these opening matches do.
03:35 And these teams manage to deftly avoid that potential landmine, even if they don't manage
03:39 to avoid deeply unfortunate haircuts.
03:41 The tags are quick, and they each make the most of their time in the ring, with exciting
03:44 moves and high-speed action that brings out that kind of high-pitched pop from the crowd
03:47 that feels brilliantly '90s.
03:49 '95 was probably the worst year in company history.
03:52 Only a couple of months back, the main event of SummerSlam was Diesel vs. Mabel, for Christ's
03:57 sake.
03:58 And the interesting thing here is, they've essentially lumped together all of the wrestlers
04:00 they'd never bother pushing in a million years just to get them on the card, and in
04:04 doing so, they've highlighted the gulf between the talent they have available and the talent
04:07 they want to push.
04:09 Silly, silly company.
04:10 8.
04:11 The Real Americans and The Shield vs. Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Rey Mysterio, and The Usos
04:15 - 2013
04:16 A shining star on an otherwise brutal evening of wrestling that was capped off by Randy
04:19 Orton facing The Big Show for the world title in 20-flipping-fur-hecking-team.
04:23 Firstly, it's got Goldust, and I can't get enough Goldust, but the rest of the teams
04:27 are stacked too, even with Jack Swagger there.
04:29 Apparently unable to contain his glee about being a part of this, until he gets eliminated
04:32 before he can land a single move on four different men.
04:35 Lol.
04:36 And I also get a hindsight kick out of the fact we've got The Usos, Cody Rhodes, and
04:39 Roman Reigns here, especially when Roman is then booked to absolutely crush the entire
04:43 Babyface team.
04:44 Backed into a corner after most of his team is eliminated, Roman decides to respond by,
04:48 well, basically spearing the entire Babyface team clean out of their boots.
04:52 It's a real star-making moment for Reigns, and it would only take, oh, about seven years
04:56 for WWE to finally figure out how to capitalize and turn him into their top guy.
05:00 7.
05:01 Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
05:03 2004
05:04 I love a bit of Cruiserweight action, I do, and there's plenty of it here.
05:07 SmackDown was my show growing up, because it was the one available on the basic Sky
05:11 TV package, and the Cruiserweights were a big part of what made me so fond.
05:15 To paraphrase AJ Lee, Rey Mysterio is lighting it up here, and you're welcome for having
05:18 that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
05:20 He and Chavo kick off with some lovely Lucha-style chain wrestling, then Rey goes to hit a vicious
05:24 and frankly gorgeous Hurricanrana on Kidman that sends him crashing off the apron, and
05:28 I can feel it from here.
05:29 At one point, there's a lovely little spot where everyone gets to do a dive over the
05:33 top rope, but when Spike has a go, they all move so he crashes and burns, and it's very
05:36 funny.
05:37 I think what I like so much about this is that it doesn't outstay its welcome.
05:40 Nine brief, action-packed minutes during which time every man gets a showcase and all the
05:44 feuds intersecting have a moment to shine.
05:46 And then Spike, who's playing a cowardly heel that thinks he's the big man when he's not
05:49 even the biggest borrower, steals a win and smirks off to the back.
05:53 Bravo.
05:54 6.
05:55 Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar
05:56 2003
05:57 I had a great time re-watching this one, and that's in spite of the fact that Matt Morgan
06:00 and Nathan Jones are standing around looking like creator wrestlers.
06:03 Often these Survivor Series matches take a while to get going, but here there's no hanging
06:07 about.
06:08 We're straight down to business with three quickfire eliminations, the pace is pretty
06:11 relentless right through, and they just crack the f*** on with it, basically.
06:15 Everyone's feeling their oats, there's some real energy and adrenaline popping off here,
06:18 the whole match having the vibe of a feud that's just hit boiling point with ten men
06:22 who want to get in and make an impact.
06:24 And then before you know it, we're down to the final few men.
06:26 2003 Kurt Angle is intensity personified, and Lesnar is at his apex, so we love seeing
06:31 them together.
06:32 And then before I've even been able to figure out what's going on, Lesnar's tapping out!
06:35 Didn't see that one coming, and when Cena uses his chain to bonk Big Show on the head
06:38 and hoik him up for an FU, you're in full testosterone mode, screaming yes at the sight
06:43 of it.
06:44 Excellent stuff.
06:45 5.
06:46 The Shield vs. The New Day, 2017
06:47 Fun fact, this was the first time The Shield ever faced The New Day.
06:50 It was also the only time The Shield ever faced The New Day.
06:53 Which in the land of "that worked, so run it back until everyone's sick of it, pal"
06:57 is genuinely quite remarkable.
06:59 It takes a hot sec to find its rhythm, not helped by the fact that Seth and Dean are
07:02 wearing objectively the stupidest shirts in their history of wrestling, a list that also
07:06 features the sperm one and phallic Sin Cara.
07:09 But when they get there, as you'd expect from wrestlers of this caliber, it's smooth sailing.
07:13 The hope spots are nicely measured, and there's some great triple team action from New Day
07:16 in particular.
07:17 Big E gets Rollins and Ambrose on the shoulders for the big ending, which becomes a near fall
07:20 until it's broken up by a spear from Roman that crashes straight through the cover.
07:24 They have a little fight forever moment before it became an exhausted trope, and then we
07:27 get a lovely bone rattling triple powerbomb from the top rope to close things out.
07:31 It wakes the crowd up nice and proper, which is exactly what you want your opening bout
07:34 to do.
07:35 Well done all.
07:36 4.
07:37 Team Piper vs. Team Flair, 1991
07:39 Congratulations to anyone who was alive and had enough consciousness to be able to watch
07:43 this in the moment, because Jesus, do you want to talk about star power?
07:46 Just look at this lineup.
07:48 And the Mounties here.
07:49 Women wrestling goes at a relentless march, and it's often easy to slip on your nostalgia
07:52 specs when WWE goes about calling anyone and everything "legendary", but Prime, Roddy
07:57 Piper and Ric Flair transcend the word.
07:59 Just look at the material.
08:00 They're kept apart for a while, but when Roddy tags in and squares off with Flair, it's absolutely
08:04 electric in there.
08:05 In fairness, this crowd were jolly well up for everything.
08:07 I mean, listen to the roar when Virgil gets a hot tag.
08:09 You've got Warlord and Bulldog playing, Meaty Men slapping meat, and the heel-face work
08:13 is pitch perfect.
08:14 Bulldog goes on a rampage, but ends up getting eliminated because the heels have confused
08:18 everyone over who's the legal man, allowing them to take advantage.
08:21 And after a babyface comeback spot, the Mountie is desperate for a tag, but none of the heels
08:24 want any part of it, which is hilarious.
08:26 And you've even got Gorilla and Heenan bickering on commentary.
08:29 It's just the most charming example of 90s wrestling.
08:32 Everyone is over.
08:33 And also, the Mountie is here.
08:34 3.
08:35 Bubba Ray Dudley, Spike and Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning (2002)
08:39 Now then, this is so high on the list because it holds such a soft spot in my heart.
08:42 It's probably one of the matches I've watched the most times ever, because in the olden
08:46 days I had the Survivor Series 2002 DVD and I watched it on loop.
08:50 And that's because it's a goat of a show, from the card to the pacing, right down to
08:53 the theme song.
08:54 Shoutout to Saliva, always still slaps.
08:57 But even aside from that, this match stands out in its own right.
08:59 First of all, seeing a Dudley and a Hardy team up in a tables match at Madison Square
09:02 Garden was a delightful novelty.
09:04 But on the other side, you've got 3 Minute Warning, who were just brilliant.
09:07 They'd batter you into a million pieces with their size and power, but good heavens they
09:11 could move.
09:12 And it's an excellent plunder match, with tables splintering all over the place, Spike
09:15 getting faceplanted through one, which is brutal and great.
09:18 And it features possibly the best looking and most clean swant on high spot Jeff Hardy's
09:22 ever done.
09:23 And then to cap it off, we get a nice, heartwarming Dudley's reunion after they've been separated
09:27 through the original brand split.
09:28 What's not to love?
09:29 2.
09:30 Women's War Games 2022
09:31 Look here, WWE didn't do a fantastic job of booking their women's division in the
09:35 autumn of 2022.
09:36 The never-ending tale of damage control failing, and failing, to take out Bianca and friends
09:40 felt interminable.
09:41 But, as is the case with wrestling, lousy creative can often belie the talent it's supposed
09:46 to put over.
09:47 And never is that more evident than this chaos machine of a match.
09:50 Because not only did the 10 women here push through that dodgy booking, this is also the
09:53 first time War Games had ever been seen on the main roster.
09:56 So to get it over, they chose to let it become a plunder extravaganza, working in tables,
10:00 and ladders, and trash cans, oh my.
10:02 Filling the ring with toys can be a dangerous game, in every sense of the word, but here
10:05 they embraced the carnage to perfection.
10:07 A team with Bianca Belair and Becky Lynch on it never felt like one that was going to
10:10 take the L, but The Heel did a fantastic job of making sure they got theirs.
10:14 From some great character work from Nikki Cross and Rhea Ripley while they were waiting
10:17 to enter, to Io delivering her prime cut moonsault off the top of the cage.
10:22 As an introduction to the night, a reintroduction to the stipulation, and a reminder of how
10:25 good these competitors can be, tick tick tick.
10:28 And number one, Becky Lynch vs Charlotte Flair 2021.
10:31 Look, I'm about to possibly be a bit over-enthusiastic, but it's a wrestling list and we only trade
10:35 in extremes here.
10:36 This is one of my favourite matches ever.
10:39 It's everything I love about wrestling, it's blending athletic skill with high melodrama
10:42 and straight viciousness.
10:44 On a parasocial level, I want everything to be rainbows and sunshines between these two,
10:48 so the way it manages to play on that reported real-life conflict between two former best
10:52 friends only adds to the drama, the pain, and the fury.
10:56 They channel it so brilliantly into a clash for the ages.
10:59 And they go with the whole thing where they know each other so well, they're able to not
11:02 only anticipate each other's moveset, as when Becky reverses a natural selection into a
11:06 disarm her, they're also able to adapt their own moves on the fly to each other's evasions,
11:11 as when Charlotte nearly spears Becky out of her fabulous red boots.
11:14 The pace here never dips below 90% and they only ever give you seconds to breathe before
11:18 they go right back to smashing the teeth out of each other.
11:21 And the finish, oh the finish is such a smart piece of business that manages to give one
11:24 of them the victory while showing in the exact same beat that they're actually the perfect
11:29 match for each other.
11:30 It has this feeling of destined to do it forever, and one day I want them to main event WrestleMania
11:34 against each other and then have the biggest hug in the world so I can get caught in the
11:37 crowd crying my eyes out and become a meme.
11:40 And that's our list.
11:41 With 36 years to run through, there's plenty of competition out there, so why don't you
11:43 let us know your faves that deserve a mention in the comments.
11:47 Give us a like and subscribe, and check out more of our fabulous content.
11:50 Why don't you start here?
11:52 Goldberg has held it twice and it's too lengthy as reigns have been part-timers.
11:55 There have been some brilliant contests for the big blue and previously red belt.
11:59 Those were outlined in last week's list, which was possibly the greatest wrestling list ever
12:02 made.
12:03 Kind of my words.

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