In Love & Toxic Episode 4 - Blue Therapy
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00 some core problems that we probably need to just iron out.
00:02 - Before the baby coming, right, we were at it like rabbits.
00:04 Once our baby came, it's just boom, gone.
00:06 - So there was an unplanned pregnancy.
00:08 He had promised that he would come with me to abort it,
00:11 and he just let me down.
00:12 - The reason why I didn't show up
00:13 was 'cause I didn't want to scare her.
00:16 - Yeah, I probably messed up,
00:17 but I want to kind of redeem myself now, to be fair.
00:19 - So you've been on and off for a few years.
00:20 - Pretty much, yeah.
00:21 She was busy with her multimillionaire footballer boyfriend.
00:23 - So what did you like about being involved with this man?
00:25 - He showed me how a woman should be treated.
00:29 - I've got privacy, I've got three kids.
00:30 I'm gonna make sure they're good first.
00:32 - If my standards are not met, 100% I'm out.
00:35 ♪ Tell me what's your plan, yeah ♪
00:44 ♪ Whisper in my ear ♪
00:46 ♪ Touch me right there ♪
00:48 ♪ So soft like cashmere ♪
00:52 - I've decided to bring my partner to therapy
00:54 simply because you could just tell
00:56 when some things are not as they should be.
01:00 - Me and Anna, we've been in a relationship
01:01 for 10 months plus.
01:03 The relationship started on a good foot,
01:05 but later became more intense with a lot of questions.
01:08 - On my side, on his side,
01:10 we behave in a way that I'm worried.
01:13 ♪ You can't forget your dreamy life ♪
01:18 - You okay?
01:20 - I think so.
01:20 You?
01:21 - Yeah, so far, good.
01:23 (gentle music)
01:26 (gentle music)
01:29 (gentle music)
01:32 - What I like about Lucky, he's like the male version of me.
01:35 I'd say we're in love, but complicated.
01:37 - Anna, she's caring.
01:41 She's got a good heart.
01:43 Those are the qualities a man actually looks for
01:45 in a woman.
01:46 I'm 23.
01:47 The age gap between me and Anna is eight years,
01:49 which makes Anna 31.
01:52 She demand a lot.
01:52 So when Anna demands certain things, there's a problem.
01:55 - There's an age gap between us.
01:58 I have children.
02:00 When me and Lucky started dating,
02:01 I just wasn't sure 'cause I didn't know
02:02 if we could actually take on that responsibility.
02:05 When we got talking, I realized he might be the one,
02:07 but he's going to be expected to provide accordingly.
02:11 (gentle music)
02:14 (upbeat music)
02:30 - Ray and I are in a good place right now.
02:31 I think we've made progress in terms of being able
02:33 to speak up, express ourselves.
02:35 So today I planned a lunch, a romantic lunch for Ray.
02:37 I think it's been a while since we had like one-on-one,
02:39 a romantic time for us to kind of like bond and speak.
02:41 You know, I want us to feel special.
02:42 I want us to feel like she's a princess.
02:43 - It's nice of you to bring me here.
02:45 - Yeah, man.
02:46 I told you I'm going to make my own effort.
02:48 - Good, thank you so much.
02:49 - Thank you.
02:50 - Tiny glasses.
02:52 - We're going to cheers.
02:54 What are you cheersing to?
02:55 - Growth.
02:55 Patience.
02:58 - Um, great sex.
03:01 - Okay.
03:02 (laughing)
03:04 - Um, yeah, just peace.
03:07 - I think we should drink it like that.
03:09 - Oh, really Sean?
03:10 - I've only done it before.
03:11 I've seen the movies and it.
03:13 - Me and Sean are starting to listen to each other
03:15 a lot more than we were in the beginning.
03:17 - Oh my God, it actually worked.
03:19 - I feel like that's a positive moving forward.
03:21 - So what did you think about me and Mavie?
03:24 - I thought you had a big head,
03:26 but I don't think...
03:28 (laughing)
03:29 But I can't lie, what attracted me was the fact
03:32 that you were tall and big, you know what I mean?
03:35 And you have big hands.
03:36 I like that.
03:37 - Are those the first things you look at in a man?
03:38 - Yes.
03:39 - Tall, big and hands.
03:40 - Yes.
03:41 I can't lie, for me, it was a good time,
03:42 not a long time thing, but here we are.
03:44 - Wow.
03:45 You were just there to objectify me.
03:46 - I was just there to sit on it, yes.
03:49 That's what I wanted to do.
03:50 - And an attendance.
03:51 - What about me?
03:52 What did you...
03:53 - Put up my first impressions?
03:54 - Yeah.
03:55 - You weren't stressful,
03:56 it was just light-hearted, it was fun,
03:58 it was just easy, you know?
04:01 You were very caring as well, do you know what I mean?
04:02 So I also felt like I could trust you
04:04 and you were open to just understanding me
04:07 as a whole, entire person.
04:08 - If it wasn't for this experience,
04:10 I feel like we wouldn't have come to where we're at now,
04:13 where we can actually have these conversations
04:16 and really allow each other to speak
04:19 and we hear each other,
04:21 whereas before it was just,
04:22 no, we're listening to respond,
04:23 do you know what I mean?
04:24 So I'm happy that we're here, you know?
04:28 - I wanna move forward like on a clean slate.
04:30 I mean, they do say honesty is the best policy.
04:34 There's something I wanna say, you know?
04:36 - Are you gonna propose?
04:40 'Cause if you are, I'm not really,
04:41 I'm not doing it in distress.
04:42 - I'm not proposing. - All these nails,
04:43 all, no offense, this shot,
04:45 we're not doing it here. - I'm not proposing.
04:45 I'm not proposing.
04:46 There's something big that I haven't told Raya.
04:49 You have to promise me something.
04:51 Don't be angry.
04:53 - Who are you calling angry if I don't know what it is?
04:55 - You have to promise me something,
04:56 you can't be angry.
04:58 - We'll see, it depends.
04:59 - I don't know how she's gonna react.
05:03 I'm just hoping that it goes really smoothly.
05:06 - Just promise me.
05:09 - You have to promise me something.
05:16 Don't be angry.
05:18 - Who are you calling angry if I don't know what it is?
05:20 - You have to promise me something,
05:21 you can't be angry.
05:23 - We'll see, it depends.
05:24 - You know your friend, Elayde?
05:30 Okay, how would I say this?
05:43 I'll just say I haven't been the most honest.
05:45 Prior to meeting you,
05:49 Elayde and I obviously matched on the hinge.
05:53 - Okay, you told me she likes your profile.
05:54 - Yeah.
05:55 What I didn't say was we matched and we spoke.
06:01 And we met up, right?
06:05 And we kind of got physical,
06:10 but not the whole way, but we kind of got--
06:12 - What's kind of?
06:12 - Like, we, I don't think you need any more of a drink.
06:18 - If what you're about to tell me
06:20 is what I think about something,
06:21 I'll want it a whole lot.
06:23 - So, obviously this is before you met,
06:26 so we didn't know each other, you know what I mean?
06:29 - What happened?
06:30 - So we kissed in my car, like we've done stuff,
06:34 but we didn't go all the way, we didn't go all the way.
06:36 But--
06:37 - What stuff?
06:38 - Just like sexual stuff, but--
06:41 - What stuff?
06:43 - Just--
06:44 - Did you ear out?
06:44 Did she suck your dick?
06:45 - No, no.
06:46 - What stuff?
06:47 'Cause you're not being specific right now.
06:49 - We done everything else apart from sex in the car.
06:54 Didn't know how to address the situation,
07:02 do you know what I mean?
07:03 'Cause this was before we--
07:04 - Okay, I need you to stop talking.
07:05 Okay, so you can bring up,
07:06 oh, I think your friend likes me,
07:07 or I think she fancies me, or whatever, whatever,
07:09 but you forgot to mention that part.
07:11 - I thought she was gonna bring it up herself.
07:14 So time just kind of like went past,
07:16 and I was getting anxiety, like,
07:18 I feel like it was too late to say.
07:21 - I just wanna highlight, if this was me,
07:24 if this was me, you would not be this calm, right?
07:27 So how do you want me to take this right now?
07:29 - I'm appreciating the fact that you're calm.
07:30 - No, please, mm-mm, mm-mm, don't appreciate nothing,
07:33 because you weren't honest,
07:34 and this is my whole point about you lying
07:36 and not telling me anything.
07:38 - I don't know how to approach it, I don't know how to--
07:40 - How about Ray, before I met you?
07:43 - Yeah.
07:44 - I almost fucked your friend, or even fucked her.
07:44 I don't even believe that you didn't fuck her,
07:47 'cause I bloody well know who she is and how she is.
07:50 Sean's just been doing, "Oh, she likes me,
07:51 "your friend is trying to come between our relationship."
07:53 All this while, he's been knowing
07:56 why she was moving like that.
07:58 That's fucked up.
07:59 You brought me here to tell me that?
08:01 I'm thinking, okay, we're starting a new slate.
08:03 - I'm sorry, I must be sorry.
08:04 - It's too much, my own best friend, like, it's too much.
08:09 - No, but just in the moment of being honest,
08:11 like, I just thought it was the right thing to do.
08:11 - Being honest should have been in therapy.
08:14 That's where you should have said it,
08:15 because we had that conversation.
08:16 Are you fucking kidding me?
08:18 Not right now, where we feel like we're making progress
08:20 and we're moving on.
08:21 Again, another example of how you literally lift me up
08:25 and then just drop me back down.
08:26 Huh?
08:28 Oh.
08:29 - Wait, wait, wait. - Please don't, don't.
08:30 Please, I beg, don't.
08:31 I'm gonna go, because I really feel like
08:35 chucking this drink in your face.
08:36 I'm done with you.
08:37 You're a dickhead.
08:38 You're actually a prick.
08:39 ♪ Now that you're gone ♪
08:42 ♪ It's nothing to lose ♪
08:44 - I mean, I can understand that the information
08:45 I'm giving her is very, very hard to take.
08:47 ♪ I fight once on, I gave it to you ♪
08:49 - But, 'cause we've been doing this whole therapy thing,
08:51 I was hoping that we'd at least be able
08:52 to have the conversation.
08:54 ♪ Torn and confused ♪
08:55 - I was expecting Rae to be on 10
08:57 and just turn the space upside down.
08:58 But the fact that she was fairly calm about it
09:01 kind of scares me.
09:02 I feel like maybe she's really, really, really hurt by this.
09:05 ♪ I used to love how you did it ♪
09:07 (gentle music)
09:09 (gentle music)
09:12 - I know this journey is going to unveil a lot.
09:19 The emotions, the feelings are a bit too intense
09:23 on both sides.
09:25 - Now that I'm here, I feel tensed.
09:27 I don't know what to expect.
09:28 But fingers crossed, let's see how it goes.
09:31 - Hello, Anna. - Hello.
09:34 - Hello, Lucky. - Hello.
09:36 - What brings you to therapy?
09:38 - There's been some issues that I feel me and Lucky
09:39 need to address.
09:40 And it's issues that maybe we couldn't address
09:43 between the two of us.
09:44 The issues I've been having are more to do with just
09:47 him being a bit more involved in everything,
09:49 because I work as well as having children.
09:51 I know he's studying and he's working part-time as well,
09:53 but I just feel like in terms of finances,
09:54 there could be a bit more from his side.
09:56 - What do you mean?
09:57 Like, in terms of like, wanting to pay more bills,
09:59 you want him to buy more food?
10:00 - Like, he does that already,
10:01 but I just feel like if there was another means of income.
10:04 He works in the health sector.
10:05 So I just feel that going in five times a week
10:07 for short hours, it could be better
10:08 if the hours were actually put together.
10:10 So it could be like maybe three long days
10:11 instead of five short days.
10:13 And then maybe the extra two days,
10:14 find another source of income.
10:16 That would really go a long way.
10:17 - What's your thoughts on that, Lucky?
10:18 - I think she's got her agenda.
10:20 Because while you're asking about my work,
10:22 when I could pay my bills,
10:23 cater for myself, look good for everyone.
10:26 What do you mean that is not enough?
10:27 - It's about us being able to do certain things,
10:29 like being able to take a holiday a bit more,
10:32 be able to eat out more.
10:33 Like we do eat out, but it could be more.
10:34 Things that actually bring joy other than just us being-
10:36 - But you actually don't have that time.
10:37 - In the house all the time.
10:38 - Because you've got two kids.
10:39 - I mean, I make time.
10:40 - So Anna, what do you want from all of this?
10:42 - What I would like is for us to be at a place
10:44 where we're financially stable.
10:45 And I believe like he has the potential for that.
10:47 It's just that sometimes it does seem to be a bit laid back
10:50 or not actually communicating properly with me
10:52 what it is that he's doing with money.
10:54 There's money, it's just not enough.
10:56 - I think Anna loves money and she loves it way, way too much.
11:00 She saw me looking sharp on social media
11:03 and told her I had a lot of money.
11:04 She bought into my image
11:06 for getting them a few years younger than her.
11:09 And I'm a student as well.
11:10 She wants those materialistic things.
11:12 She want to go out every week on a date.
11:14 We go out on a date, don't get wrong.
11:16 We do dates, we do spa, we do hotels, we do getaways,
11:19 we do concerts, but it's never enough.
11:21 But you know when there's all this money to spare,
11:23 I make sure you come first.
11:24 - Yeah, you do, it's true.
11:26 Maybe the money to spare doesn't come often,
11:29 is what I mean.
11:29 - Lucky, how old are you?
11:30 - I'm 23.
11:31 - How old are you?
11:32 - I'm 31.
11:33 - Obviously in two different places at the moment
11:34 in terms of just life, in terms of age
11:36 and things of that nature.
11:36 But for where Lucky's at, at 23,
11:38 is that a realistic expectation for him
11:39 to be able to do all these things right now?
11:41 - He's meeting most of them
11:42 and I know he can meet the rest when the time comes, yeah.
11:44 - Okay, so why are you not patient then?
11:45 - I'm patient, I'm pushing.
11:47 - You don't need to push.
11:48 - I'm pushing because--
11:49 - Because you get what you get at the time you get it.
11:52 Coming from you that work four to five days a month.
11:55 - First of all, I work a few days a month
11:58 because my priority is my children.
11:59 So I'm more a full-time mom than my actual career.
12:04 - If I'm not meeting those things in it,
12:04 you could have easily walked away.
12:07 - Yeah, I'm not targeting--
12:08 - So why stay these two 11 months
12:09 and still complain of the same thing regularly?
12:11 - Because it's got better, but it can be a lot better.
12:13 There's results, but it's just not big enough.
12:15 - So, Anna, are you used to dating guys with money?
12:17 - I wouldn't say rich, rich,
12:18 but people that appreciate spas, getaways, eating out.
12:22 Sometimes we've been working hard
12:23 and it's time to have a getaway
12:24 and it's not happening
12:25 because he's invested his money in something else.
12:27 Do you understand?
12:28 - So are you looking for a partner?
12:29 Are you looking for help?
12:30 - Both.
12:31 - Oh, you want both? - Yeah.
12:32 - Did you discuss that with Lucky in the beginning,
12:33 that I need help and a partner?
12:34 - Did you?
12:35 - Nobody goes into a relationship discussing,
12:36 "I want help and a partner."
12:37 - But that means I told you, you've got an agenda.
12:39 - The more you talk, the more you realize that,
12:40 okay, this could be a partnership
12:41 and partnership means help.
12:42 Partnership means a lot of things
12:43 and help falls under that.
12:44 - Do you have an agenda?
12:45 - Emotionally, what agenda?
12:46 Lucky thinks I have an agenda when it comes to money,
12:48 but really it's just for us to have a comfortable life.
12:51 There is no agenda, just for us to be happier.
12:53 - She's saying you came in the relationship wanting help,
12:55 that means you want something actually.
12:57 You saw me to be a rich person.
12:59 Is there some truth to that?
13:00 ♪ Money, money ♪
13:02 (upbeat music)
13:05 ♪ It's 'cause you make me feel free ♪
13:10 ♪ That you're waiting for me ♪
13:12 ♪ Yeah, you're waiting slowly ♪
13:13 ♪ BTBD energy, put that body on me ♪
13:16 ♪ Yeah, waiting slow ♪
13:18 - Since having a child, I'm just exhausted.
13:20 Last thing I wanna do is just get frisky.
13:22 That's the last thing on my mind, to be honest.
13:23 - I'm gonna suggest that before you come back
13:26 for the next session,
13:27 - Yes, talk to me, Denise.
13:29 - You both do something spontaneously
13:31 that brings a little bit of a spark.
13:33 - I'm excited.
13:34 Is this one?
13:35 Look, look at the face.
13:36 ♪ We're in love, we're in love ♪
13:37 - Hello. - Hello, Denise.
13:38 What's happening?
13:39 - Lovely to see you.
13:40 - Lovely to see you.
13:42 - You're looking very dapper today.
13:43 - Thank you. - Thank you.
13:44 - Now, when you left, I gave you a little task.
13:48 - That was a good task, right?
13:49 So we went to a sex shop.
13:52 Yes.
13:53 I was a little bit hesitant at the beginning
13:55 'cause I was just like, oh my God, like, whoa.
13:57 Penises everywhere.
13:58 And then I kind of actually just warmed into it
14:00 and seen like different stuff
14:01 that I've never seen before in my life.
14:03 - Latex is another level, I'm telling you.
14:04 It's like, I was like, look at my element.
14:07 - He was in his element, Denise.
14:08 Like, he was like a kid in a candy store.
14:09 - I was loving it.
14:10 - And moving forward,
14:11 do you think that that kind of thing would improve your?
14:14 - Oh yes, 100%.
14:15 - I didn't know that there was so much you could do.
14:16 - It's a whole new world out there.
14:17 I'll tell you that now.
14:18 And I think when we bring that into our relationship,
14:20 oh my God, we're going to be back on track in no time.
14:22 Do you know what I mean?
14:23 I'm really excited because I'm hoping
14:26 that this is going to lead to a bit more of hoochie wawa.
14:29 That's sex, by the way.
14:30 - So basically it was just so random
14:32 that he just decided to go in there,
14:34 but then it ended up being really fun.
14:36 And we thought, hey, this is spontaneous.
14:38 This is great.
14:38 Like we literally were in our element
14:40 and having so much fun.
14:41 - So moving forward,
14:42 give me a little bit more about your background
14:44 and how that means that you deal with things.
14:46 - So I'm Afro-Caribbean.
14:47 So I was obviously born here.
14:49 My dad is Nigerian, a traditional, proud Nigerian man.
14:53 And my mom is West Indian.
14:54 So her background is Trinidadian and Guyanese,
14:56 but she was born in the UK.
14:57 My mom, you know, being Westernized
14:59 helped keep that balance.
15:00 She gets on really well with Tang,
15:02 but she puts him in his place at the same time.
15:04 She has empathy, but you know,
15:06 she's also strong and proud as well.
15:08 - You're shaking your head.
15:09 - The Duchess is one of the most beautiful people
15:12 and nicest person I've ever met.
15:14 But I know your mom is not a big fan of me
15:16 saying certain inappropriate things.
15:18 Like, do you remember the other day
15:20 I twerked in front of her?
15:21 She was like, "Tang, what are you doing?
15:23 I don't like this."
15:24 Do you know what I mean?
15:24 - When we first got together,
15:25 I did worry about his unfilteredness,
15:27 how it would be with my family.
15:28 And not saying that my family don't joke,
15:30 'cause we have plenty jokes, plenty, plenty.
15:32 But, and we like to have fun.
15:33 But for example, when he first met my dad,
15:36 I told him, like on a journey there to his house,
15:38 I was just saying like, "This is what we do.
15:39 You know, we prostrate, we bow down to our elders.
15:41 We give respect to our elders."
15:43 And I told him like, "Would you be up for doing that?"
15:44 And he was just so dismissive of that.
15:46 I'm like, "You show respect.
15:47 I want you to show respect to my dad."
15:49 - You see that?
15:49 The African come out, then you see that.
15:50 - Yeah, but the thing is, I want you,
15:52 again, being inappropriate.
15:53 - No, I'm just saying it.
15:54 - And I want him to just be like, you know,
15:55 "Sir, you know, bow down now."
15:57 - No, are you having a laugh?
15:58 There's no chance in hell.
16:00 - Did your dad say anything about the fact
16:02 he hadn't done that?
16:03 - Luckily he didn't.
16:04 - No, dad.
16:04 - No, but for me, it meant everything
16:06 that Tang shows respect to my dad.
16:08 - I can't do something that I don't feel comfortable in.
16:10 I will not bow down to anybody.
16:12 That's not happening.
16:13 (gentle music)
16:16 (upbeat music)
16:19 - Oh, it's just been crazy, mate.
16:24 Amy's my best friend.
16:25 She's the sister that I never, ever have had.
16:28 I value her opinion and I'm so happy to see her
16:31 and just to fill her in with the craziness
16:33 that's been going on.
16:34 - Marie's called me over and she's told me
16:36 to come check her, which is kind of strange from her
16:38 because I see her every couple of days anyway.
16:40 So I did know something was up
16:41 and her voice sounded kind of low.
16:43 - Look at this.
16:44 - No, this is your man's car.
16:46 (upbeat music)
16:49 - I've come to Teeth car park.
16:51 I'm seeing your car keyed.
16:52 This whole situation is just genuinely
16:55 fucking up with my head.
16:56 - Wait.
16:57 Whoa, they even punctured the car.
17:01 Yeah, they didn't come to play.
17:01 I hope you know this is not a guy.
17:03 - What's even pissing me off the most
17:05 is the fact that I'm asking him who done it
17:07 and he's saying to me, "I don't know, I don't know."
17:09 How can you not know if flipping has initials?
17:12 I know it's a girl.
17:13 Do you know what I mean?
17:13 He's trying to tell me, "Oh, it's not, it's not."
17:15 But who could it be?
17:16 - He has a lot of explaining to do to Marie
17:17 because one plus one is not equaling two here.
17:19 - It's literally emotionally, mentally draining.
17:22 My heart is hurting.
17:23 - I do understand.
17:24 I know how you feel about him
17:25 and I do want this to work for you.
17:26 But sis, you can't keep going on like this.
17:27 I want the best for you.
17:28 - It can't continue like this
17:29 'cause I'm gonna leave.
17:30 Like I know my worth.
17:31 I know what I can get if I really left Teeth.
17:34 I mean, so I need him to fix up
17:36 or else I'm gone 'cause I ain't got to settle
17:37 for this nonsense.
17:38 - 100%.
17:39 - Right now I have one foot in and one foot out.
17:41 (upbeat music)
17:43 - So describe your business to me.
17:51 - I'm into music management,
17:53 which I've got two artists under my card.
17:55 I'm a music artist as well.
17:56 - Do you want to make a lot of money in music?
17:57 - I'm not in the music for money.
17:58 I'm in the music for passion.
18:00 So I'm going to do both my study and music.
18:03 By the end of my study,
18:04 if the music doesn't kick off,
18:05 that means I'm going into being probably in your sojourn.
18:09 - Have you given yourself a timeframe to,
18:10 I need to be at least this level.
18:11 And if there is, how long have you given yourself?
18:14 - It could take five years.
18:15 - And I saw you make that face.
18:16 - Five years is a long time.
18:18 The thing is we also want to start a family hopefully soon.
18:21 So if we are looking at starting a family,
18:23 considering age as well,
18:24 we need to kind of not be quick,
18:26 but we need to be thinking proactively.
18:27 - How many kids you want?
18:28 - We want seven.
18:29 - Seven in total or seven plus the two you have?
18:30 - Considering financial strains, I think five.
18:32 Because I've always had a dream to have seven children.
18:34 - The way you structured it up,
18:35 you've got five years.
18:36 And in those five years,
18:37 do you want the children within the five years
18:38 or after you've made it?
18:39 - No, the children could come in.
18:41 Because she already said from next year
18:43 we should actually start planning on that.
18:45 So I don't actually mind,
18:46 as long as the income start coming.
18:48 - We need money.
18:48 We need money if we're going to bring children
18:50 into the world.
18:51 But I feel there's still other issues
18:52 in the relationship that need to be ironed out.
18:54 - I think we've had some trust issues
18:56 also in the relationship.
18:58 - Trust is a big thing, of course,
18:59 because you can't really build a big family
19:00 if the foundation is lacking trust.
19:02 - In the beginning, we were lucky,
19:06 because I still had one of my exes in my life.
19:08 I think that made Lucky a little bit uncomfortable.
19:11 - Why is that an issue from your point of view?
19:13 - Because Lucky doesn't trust me with him
19:14 because something did happen.
19:16 He took me out for dinner
19:18 and we had a kiss at the end of the night,
19:20 which was very unexpected
19:22 because me and him had parted ways.
19:25 - Things were not so solid with me and Lucky.
19:27 There was a lot of vagueness.
19:28 On his side, he was doing some ghosting.
19:30 What you would say, texting scantily.
19:33 - That was very early on in me and Lucky meeting.
19:35 We had just been on our first proper date.
19:37 The reason I felt guilty for it is because
19:39 I suppose I was in two minds about the two men
19:42 and I didn't hide that my ex was taking me out from Lucky.
19:45 Lucky could see the stories on my social media that I was out.
19:48 - So as far as both of you are concerned,
19:49 it's just a kiss, nothing else?
19:51 - No, I don't think so.
19:52 - You think it's more?
19:53 What do you think happened?
19:54 - I think probably she did had some affliction or sex
19:57 with her ex, but with her, she said it's nothing.
20:00 - In order to move forward, I guess this is the time
20:01 to say your piece as far as if it's just a kiss
20:04 or it's more.
20:04 Then you can start a future based on-
20:05 - Whether it's a kiss, whether it's whatever,
20:07 the guilt is the same.
20:08 It was wrong.
20:09 I betrayed him, that's that.
20:11 - How important is honesty to you?
20:12 - Very important.
20:13 - And you feel like you've told him the whole truth
20:16 and nothing but the truth
20:17 as far as that scenario was concerned?
20:18 - But that hasn't stopped the problems
20:20 because I feel like he still doesn't believe me.
20:22 - I don't believe her now.
20:23 Kissing is classified as cheating.
20:25 Sex is classified as cheating.
20:27 No one is bigger than one.
20:29 There's something happening.
20:30 Why are you going to his house after the dinner
20:32 instead of your house?
20:33 You stayed there for bare hours.
20:34 - Okay.
20:35 - So Lucky, do you have a deep concern
20:36 that she might have actually just slept with him?
20:38 - Yeah.
20:39 Or she's not telling the truth.
20:40 I feel like there's something,
20:40 there's a loophole in all the stories she's been telling.
20:43 So I would appreciate she being honest with me.
20:47 - So Anna, what do you want from Lucky during this process?
20:50 - It's for me and Lucky to understand each other properly.
20:53 What makes us do the things that we do?
20:55 What makes us think the way we think
20:56 is stopping the relationship from going forward.
20:58 - I feel like we're just going over old ground.
21:00 I just wanted to see if this relationship can be moved on
21:02 to see if we can actually repair it.
21:04 - We discussed a lot of the trust issues,
21:05 but clearly there's some more things to discuss.
21:07 So we're going to unpack that in our next session.
21:09 - Thanks very much.
21:10 - Yeah, my pleasure.
21:11 - Right now, I've called Soles up to come pick me up.
21:22 - What's good bro?
21:23 - What's going on, man?
21:24 - Good, Soles.
21:25 - How you doing?
21:26 - An unfortunate incident has happened.
21:27 I parked my car somewhere
21:28 and it's been literally keyed up.
21:30 - T, bro, what happened, man?
21:32 - Bro, I ain't never gonna lie.
21:34 - Oh man.
21:36 Like if you touch it, you cut yourself.
21:37 It's mad still.
21:39 - Bro.
21:40 - Bonnet, done.
21:41 - Done.
21:42 - Side panel, done.
21:42 - Done.
21:43 - Door, collapsed.
21:44 - This is crazy, man.
21:45 - There's more on the back.
21:46 - There can't be more.
21:47 (Soles sighs)
21:48 - I don't even know how they managed to drill the C-word
21:50 in the flipping side of the car, man.
21:51 - Bro, they drilled your car?
21:52 - Drill the fuck out of that.
21:53 I think I'm the nicest guy ever.
21:55 Scratch there, scratch there.
21:56 - This is a write off.
21:57 How much he charges?
21:58 - They want like four or five grand.
21:59 - Four or five grand?
22:00 That's an arm and a leg, bro.
22:01 - Bro, it was always me, bro.
22:02 - It's always you, bro.
22:03 - I don't fucking understand, bro.
22:04 - Oh my gosh.
22:05 - Have you done it?
22:06 - I'm not 100% sure.
22:07 - Bro, it must be a girl, man.
22:09 - I don't think it is.
22:09 - Bro, you can't fool me.
22:11 What girl, bro?
22:12 - She left her initials on the car, innit?
22:13 Where it's like.
22:13 (Soles laughs)
22:14 - Does Maria know about it?
22:15 - Bro, she went into the car park.
22:16 She saw it.
22:17 And now she's just going mad.
22:18 - You're in trouble.
22:19 - And obviously like, she's asking me if I've done it.
22:21 And it's like.
22:21 - She's gonna think it's a girl, bro.
22:22 - I know, she's not stupid, innit?
22:23 But at the same time, it's like.
22:24 It's the least of my worries right now.
22:26 - What do you mean?
22:27 - See, if Maria finds out what I've actually been keeping
22:29 from her, like, I'm done out here.
22:31 Like, I'm finished.
22:32 (upbeat music)
22:34 - To be honest, the car thing is nowhere near as bad
22:39 as the secret I'm keeping from her.
22:40 When she finds that out, she's gonna go crazy.
22:43 She's gonna go mental.
22:44 I'm dreading that.
22:45 I'm absolutely dreading that.
22:45 I'm not gonna lie.
22:46 - I'm expecting a fourth child.
22:49 - What?
22:50 Bro, that's not.
22:51 So Maria's not having your fourth?
22:53 It's too much, T.
22:57 - She's gonna fucking kill me when she finds out.
22:59 - T, what are you doing, bro?
23:00 - I don't know, bro.
23:01 - T, bro, you're mad.
23:02 You're moving mad.
23:03 You're moving mad.
23:04 - You might as well run away now, bro.
23:05 You can go Mexico.
23:06 Or you can break up.
23:08 Bro, you're not gonna get out of this.
23:12 (upbeat music)
23:15 (upbeat music)
23:17 - I'm just gonna make a face for it, bro.
23:34 I look sexy, you know.
23:35 I didn't know you could scrub up this good.
23:38 - At this point, coming into our sessions,
23:41 it's even becoming discouraging.
23:42 - What, you still beefing me?
23:43 - I don't even wanna see his face.
23:44 Especially after the whole car situation.
23:47 - Please just don't talk to me.
23:48 - Why?
23:49 - 'Cause you're not getting me fucking here.
23:51 - Maria's beefing me over this car situation,
23:53 but the secret I'm keeping from her,
23:55 that is gonna rattle her.
23:57 But I need her to be in a good place
23:59 before I drop the secret.
24:00 - Denise is ready for you.
24:02 - Fuck.
24:04 - Hi.
24:12 - Hi, Denise.
24:14 You're looking very glamorous.
24:15 - Thank you.
24:16 You look good too.
24:17 - Hello, hello.
24:18 - Tunde.
24:19 I think we know each other well enough now
24:21 for you to take off your glasses.
24:23 Come on.
24:24 - I thought you'd forget to do your...
24:25 You're looking nice.
24:26 - They look great, but--
24:27 - Babe, what do you think?
24:28 - Please.
24:29 - Thank you.
24:32 - You're killing me, man.
24:33 - So, since we last met each other,
24:34 how's it been going?
24:35 - Been fine.
24:36 - One says fine, the other one says nothing.
24:40 So, what's happened?
24:41 - A lot has been happening.
24:42 - Really?
24:43 - I really am curious at this point to know
24:46 if there's a sign on my forehead.
24:48 Can you see anything?
24:49 - No.
24:50 Can you see anything?
24:50 - Can you?
24:51 'Cause I thought there was a sign saying clown
24:55 on my forehead, clearly.
24:56 Denise, if I hadn't already committed to this,
24:59 I wouldn't even be here at this point.
25:01 So, me and T go on date nights during the weekends.
25:03 And normally, he always drives,
25:05 but for some reason,
25:06 he was proper insistent on me driving.
25:09 And I was like, "Cool, no problem.
25:10 "Let me come and pick you up."
25:11 But he was like insisting that,
25:13 "No, no, no, don't come, don't come.
25:15 "I'll come to you."
25:16 So, of course, it's gonna raise suspicions.
25:18 So, I've gone over to his house and I see his car.
25:21 There's literally scratches all over the car.
25:23 The sign of the BMW has been taken out.
25:25 Whoever's done it, the girl who's done it,
25:27 she literally left her initials.
25:29 And I'm literally asking this idiot,
25:30 "Who the fuck done this?"
25:31 And he's telling me, "Oh, I don't know who done it.
25:33 "I don't know who done it."
25:34 - 'Cause I don't know.
25:34 - I know it's the girl that done that to his car.
25:36 Do you know who done it?
25:37 - I already told you no.
25:38 - Tunde, how come you didn't mention
25:40 why you weren't driving your car?
25:41 - I just knew she was just gonna have
25:42 this kind of weird energy towards me
25:44 and I didn't have time for that, really and truly.
25:46 - Denise, why do I have to find out
25:47 my man's car has been vandalised?
25:49 If it was a straightforward situation,
25:51 you'd be like, "Oh, babe, someone done this to my car."
25:52 If you're genuinely in shock,
25:53 why did you feel the need to hide it from me?
25:55 - I didn't hide it.
25:56 - Marie, if it is a woman, what does that mean to you?
25:59 - He's gonna need to tell me why any woman
26:01 feels the need to do that.
26:02 What's going on?
26:03 - That's what I'm trying, I'm trying to find answers myself.
26:05 - So, you really don't know?
26:05 - If I knew, I would've told you.
26:07 - You're a fucking idiot.
26:07 - We'll leave it there for now
26:08 'cause he hasn't got the answers.
26:10 So, in the last session, I asked you to go home
26:14 and find three things that you think
26:17 that you want more of in the relationship
26:19 that could positively make an impact
26:21 on the relationship between you.
26:23 So, who'd like to go first?
26:25 - I'll go first. - Okay.
26:26 - Okay, so there's trust.
26:28 I would like him to buy me more gifts.
26:30 I would also like him to respect me more.
26:33 - And how will those three things help
26:35 bring positivity to your relationship?
26:36 - These are issues in our relationship
26:39 that is causing friction and arguments.
26:42 I'm just tired of being accused of what I'm not guilty of.
26:46 And I would just like for you to trust me
26:48 and know that I'm 100% loyal to you.
26:50 You know I love you.
26:51 - I hear you, but you say this now,
26:53 but your actions are just totally the total opposite.
26:55 - Yeah, but babe, I've explained to you
26:56 that, okay, regardless of my actions,
26:58 if you think about my intentions,
26:59 I would not do anything to purposely hurt you.
27:01 You know I'm a good woman, you know I'm good to you.
27:03 - Yeah.
27:04 - If you know your woman, you should be able to know
27:05 that she goes on holidays, she travels.
27:07 However, I know my woman will stick by me.
27:09 - I hear you.
27:14 - So you've got a young baby.
27:25 Obviously she's gonna have to be brought up
27:27 with both of your cultures.
27:28 How do you think you can entwine that to make it work?
27:30 - This is a good question.
27:31 I'm not sure about this one.
27:31 - Well, I mean, I can tell you something so simple
27:33 that happens every day.
27:34 People with black skin, we like to moisturise,
27:36 make sure that we need to keep our skin supple and smooth.
27:41 And you know, if we don't do that,
27:41 we start getting dryness on our legs
27:43 and it becomes uncomfortable, a little bit itchy.
27:45 So I'm trying to tell Tang that, right?
27:48 I'm trying to say to him like,
27:49 Ocean, she's got black skin, right?
27:50 So she needs to be moisturised.
27:52 Our baby needs to be moisturised every morning
27:54 and every evening when she has a bath.
27:56 This fool doesn't like doing that.
27:57 He's just like, what am I moisturising her every day for?
28:00 - Why won't you do it?
28:02 This is nonsense.
28:03 - Ocean, she has, she's got my skin
28:05 and my age of skin is just like oily.
28:07 It's just natural, beautifully oily, right?
28:09 She doesn't need that at all.
28:11 No.
28:12 - It's very annoying.
28:13 - Tang's so annoying.
28:13 He will literally wake our baby up
28:15 and get her ready for nursery,
28:17 but he would miss out the moisturisation part,
28:19 which is an important factor to get our daughter ready.
28:21 Everyone needs to moisturise their skin.
28:23 It's a no brainer.
28:25 - So I'm sensing a little bit of a culture clash here.
28:27 How else does that play out within your relationship?
28:30 - All he knows is Jollof.
28:31 Jollof, Jollof, Jollof.
28:32 - The other day we went to a party
28:34 and there was a goosey soup,
28:35 there was a gege bread,
28:36 there was pounded yam,
28:38 there was all of this stuff.
28:38 He didn't have a clue.
28:39 He didn't even ask me about it.
28:41 He's like, I'm not touching that.
28:42 I want you to recognise that, you know,
28:44 this is a thing that I also was brought up on
28:47 and that you should try it.
28:48 He won't even try it.
28:49 - Don't you ever cook it at home?
28:50 - You're in the loft.
28:51 - I would if he wanted to try it,
28:53 but otherwise I'm cooking it and it's wasted
28:55 'cause it's just gonna be mean.
28:56 - But what about your daughter?
28:57 Everything that Temi is saying.
28:59 - Okay, Chinese food.
29:00 - Char siu bao.
29:01 (laughing)
29:03 - She knows it.
29:04 - Yeah, exactly.
29:05 How do you feel about the food that she's talking about?
29:07 - I don't like it.
29:08 - He needs to understand that he is with a black woman.
29:11 - I love that.
29:12 - I am enriched with culture.
29:13 So he needs to jump on board.
29:15 Why is it important that Tang
29:16 invests in what you're talking about?
29:18 Denise, it's extremely important.
29:21 I am the future.
29:21 I am your future.
29:22 - It's not extremely important.
29:23 - Can you let me finish?
29:24 - Okay, go on.
29:25 - It's extremely important
29:26 because we have a daughter now,
29:27 we have a child
29:28 and I wanna grow my child up to be bilingual,
29:30 to be independent,
29:31 be proud of where she's from.
29:32 - Which she will be.
29:33 - And she can't be proud of where she's from
29:35 if she doesn't know about her culture,
29:36 if she doesn't know about his side or my side.
29:38 - No, I see what you mean.
29:39 I want her to understand her parents' culture.
29:42 Absolutely.
29:43 Do you know what I mean?
29:44 I want her to start talking Chinese
29:44 like when she gets a little bit older.
29:45 - Yeah, exactly.
29:46 - Absolutely.
29:47 But you want her to speak European as well.
29:48 - Yeah, exactly.
29:49 - I think it's pretty sweet.
29:49 Yeah, I'm quite happy about that.
29:50 - So do you think that chatting about these things
29:52 is gonna change the way that you interact with each other?
29:55 - I think with the culture thing,
29:56 I'm gonna make a bit more of an effort.
29:57 - Well, that's good.
29:58 We're gonna have to close this session now,
30:02 I'm afraid.
30:03 - I really thank you.
30:04 - But moving forward,
30:05 life is about compromising.
30:07 It's about making sure that you listen and you understand
30:10 and therefore move forward.
30:11 - Yeah.
30:12 - Definitely.
30:13 See you next time.
30:13 - Thank you.
30:14 - Thank you.
30:15 (upbeat music)
30:18,
30:23 (upbeat music)
30:26 (upbeat music)
30:28 (upbeat music)
30:31 (upbeat music)
30:33 (upbeat music)
30:36 (upbeat music)
30:39 (upbeat music)
30:41 (upbeat music)
30:44 (upbeat music)
30:46 - I would bite you.
30:47 I hope to come back to this session feeling happy,
30:52 having something positive to tell Joe,
30:54 but trust Sean to fuck it up again and give me bad news.
30:58 I am fuming.
31:01 I cannot wait to sit on a couch
31:03 and really go in in front of Joe.
31:05 (upbeat music)
31:09 (upbeat music)
31:11 (upbeat music)
31:14 (upbeat music)
31:16 - At least now we'll be able to have the conversation
31:17 and get out on the open.
31:18 I'll be able to explain myself,
31:19 clear her mind of all doubts.
31:20 I'm not into her friend.
31:21 What did I stop happening in the past?
31:23 I just wanted to feel at ease.
31:23 I wanted to feel comfortable.
31:25 - Hello Ray.
31:26 - Hi Joe.
31:27 - How you doing Sean?
31:30 - You all right?
31:31 - Since our last session,
31:38 did you find time to actually spend together?
31:41 - Yeah, he took me out to lunch.
31:43 It was nice, but it turned left after.
31:47 He decided to come clean about him and Lydie.
31:51 - And that's the friend that you think was out of line
31:53 for checking your relationship with Ray.
31:55 Sean, is that correct?
31:56 So can you explain exactly what you said to Ray?
32:00 - Yeah, basically, like a nutshell,
32:06 me and a friend met prior to me meeting Ray.
32:11 And we ended up doing like some sexual things, you know?
32:15 I don't know, I probably should have handled it better
32:19 in terms of me telling her a lot sooner,
32:21 but obviously going through this whole process,
32:23 I did say to her, like I thought,
32:26 rather just start on the clean slate, you know?
32:28 - So Ray, how do you take what Sean was saying,
32:31 like for yourself, how do you process that?
32:34 - I'm angry and I'm also hurt
32:37 because I just want to understand why,
32:39 because you said it was way before me,
32:41 so what was the big deal of not telling me any sooner?
32:43 - To be fair, I don't really have an answer.
32:46 I feel like...
32:48 I just, sometimes I don't want to be the bad guy,
32:50 do you know what I mean?
32:50 Like I'd rather someone else take that title.
32:53 - I think what that means,
32:55 what that word is you're looking for is a coward, but OK.
32:57 - Sean, what were you actually scared of?
32:59 Why didn't you tell her if it was just a thing,
33:02 just something that's passing?
33:03 - I think 'cause she always says I lie, right?
33:05 So I just didn't want to add to another, you know,
33:08 tally of things that I've supposedly lied about.
33:10 - That's not working out for you.
33:10 - Yeah, so I just thought--
33:12 - So let me get this clear,
33:13 you don't want to be pinned out a liar, so you lie.
33:15 - I didn't lie, I just didn't want to be pinned out
33:16 of the conversation.
33:17 - I didn't lie, but I just avoided telling her the truth
33:20 that would add to one of the more reasons
33:21 why she thinks I lie.
33:22 - I mean, in any situation in a relationship,
33:23 if a lie comes up, the best way you'd solve a lie
33:26 is by telling the truth,
33:27 in any situation for your moving forward.
33:30 - It was poor judgment on my behalf.
33:34 - You know, relationships take courage.
33:35 Your reputation in a relationship is important.
33:37 You know what I mean?
33:38 If you don't want Ray to know you as a liar,
33:39 just always be on, put your cards down, always.
33:42 You know what I mean?
33:43 And communicate with Ray,
33:44 and Ray, communicate with Sean as well,
33:46 in terms of how you feel about things,
33:47 and you know, and the more you guys are talking
33:49 and communicating, the better it would be.
33:51 - Since it's time for confessions,
33:55 I might as well own up to my own truths.
33:59 Since we're on the subject of honesty,
34:02 I wanted to let Sean know something I've also been holding.
34:14 (Sean clears throat)
34:17 So, I know we spoke about, you know, Paris.
34:24 I feel like I just want to put it out there that,
34:29 when I was out there, I did meet up with a guy.
34:32 - Wait.
34:36 (dramatic music)
34:39 (Sean chuckles)
34:42 - I didn't do anything sexual with him.
34:48 - Wait, I just want, what do I fucking believe?
34:50 What do I believe?
34:51 'Cause I just think it's all lies.
34:52 What the fuck's going on?
34:53 - Relax.
34:54 - Let's real talk.
34:56 I've done what you wanted, I've come here,
34:58 but we're never gonna agree on this wedding, simple as.
35:00 - When did this happen?
35:01 Like, I'm so confused.
35:02 - It's not what you think it is.
35:03 - What do you mean it's not fucking what I think it is?
35:03 Are you fucking stupid?
35:04 What do you mean?
35:05 You're actually disrespecting me?
35:06 (static)