In Love & Toxic Episode 3 - Blue Therapy
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00 I'm not giving her that many reasons to not trust me.
00:02 She, on the other hand...
00:03 You already know on what basis I gave him my number.
00:05 He's trying to shit.
00:07 We got set one simple task.
00:08 She failed it.
00:09 You know, I'm going to have to tell Joe about it.
00:11 We failed the homework.
00:12 Don't tell him. That's going to piss me off.
00:14 There was one time we were doing a shoot,
00:15 obviously there were people there.
00:16 She takes off her top and her tits on the floor, and I'm there.
00:18 Literally, my mind was so stressed,
00:19 I didn't see the men in the room.
00:21 You're disrespecting me in front of everybody else.
00:23 I was like, "I'm not going to do it."
00:24 I was like, "I'm not going to do it."
00:25 I was like, "I'm not going to do it."
00:30 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:32 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:33 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:34 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:35 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:36 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:37 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:38 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:39 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:40 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:41 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:42 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
00:43 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
01:08 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
01:33 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:01 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:04 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:05 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:06 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:07 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:08 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:09 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:10 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:11 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:12 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:13 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:14 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:15 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:16 I will never, ever, ever misuse it to my family.
02:41 I feel like the situation that happened was not something that I did on purpose.
02:48 I feel like even when it happened, instantly the first thing that I felt was shame.
02:51 It was never a thing where I would ever try to embarrass you or try to disrespect you.
02:57 So I do apologize.
02:58 Sean, did you hear that?
02:59 Do you understand where she's coming from?
03:01 I understand the logic behind it.
03:04 And so why were you upset?
03:06 I think for me it was more like all the emotions being bottled up from just the constant disrespect
03:12 that I feel.
03:13 The things that you may not maybe consider or understand or see.
03:16 Obviously you care about each other because you know, we're sharing our emotions.
03:21 Ray, when you left, Sean expressed himself emotionally and was in tears.
03:26 Him doing that definitely shows us that he's here fighting for something.
03:30 I hear it, but how can you fight for something when he's done said that?
03:35 He's not going to continue the relationship based on my IG or the Not Only Fans.
03:40 I don't think he said he's not going to continue the relationship.
03:42 He's putting conditions on it.
03:44 He's concerned that it may not represent him, I guess.
03:52 You guys were incredibly great today.
03:53 I want to set you guys a task that I think will be very powerful in bringing you guys
03:57 both closer together.
03:58 If we go away, write a letter of appreciation to each other, it can actually remind us of
04:02 why we love each other, why we actually want to fight for each other.
04:06 Does that make sense?
04:08 Yeah?
04:09 So I thank you both and I'll see you in the next session.
04:12 Okay.
04:13 This session was heavy and there was a lot of emotions from the both of us.
04:18 I can't lie, I feel drained, but I feel like this is the most honest Sean has been with
04:23 me.
04:24 I feel like we made a little bit of progress in terms of being able to express ourselves.
04:26 Like it might not have been the best way in terms of crying.
04:28 I don't want to cry.
04:29 I don't want to see her cry either, but it's a step in the right direction.
04:46 I'm feeling confident about this session.
04:47 Last session went really well.
04:48 I got a bunch of stuff off my chest.
04:50 There's definitely some more points that I want to talk about with his homework.
04:53 If he asks me what happened, I'm going to have to tell him.
05:00 Hi Lauren.
05:01 Hello.
05:02 How are you doing?
05:03 Hello Michael.
05:04 Logan.
05:05 Nice to see you both.
05:06 Nice to see you too.
05:07 In regards to the homework I gave around the idea of spending time and being in each other's
05:16 space, were you able to do that?
05:18 No.
05:19 So what happened Michael?
05:22 We made plans, but she had a photo shoot that day.
05:25 A video shoot.
05:26 A video shoot.
05:27 We wound up running late and so by that point I was like just ready to go to sleep.
05:30 Lauren, what's your take on that?
05:33 So I had a video shoot the night before and there was a scene that we still needed to
05:36 shoot so we had to do it the next day and it ran over and Michael was okay with it and
05:40 he even said that he wasn't going to say it to you as well.
05:42 I know but you spoke last time about putting me in the diary and we put me in the diary,
05:47 do you know what I mean?
05:48 And he still cancelled.
05:49 Why wasn't there homework for you to do something?
05:50 The homework was for both of you and this is why we set the homework, right?
05:54 This is a reoccurring theme in the relationship that you can see can cause major issues and
05:58 it can be hurtful.
05:59 Can no one just understand that I was like, you know, I couldn't leave.
06:03 Did you make it up to him?
06:04 Yeah, well I told him next weekend that we can make it work because I don't have anything
06:07 so it's not going to overrun.
06:08 I told him that and him at home acting like yeah that's all fine but then obviously again
06:12 it's not.
06:13 Yeah but she says this.
06:14 In general, like you know, I'll ask him what he's thinking or to open up and he'll be like
06:17 we'll speak about it in therapy and I feel like oh for fuck's sake, like are we even
06:20 talking?
06:21 I feel like all three of us are in a relationship.
06:22 I feel like all three of us are in a relationship.
06:23 Like he doesn't speak to me anymore, he's like we'll speak about it in therapy.
06:25 It's like fucking hell.
06:26 Because you just fly off the handle when we speak about it in person.
06:28 Like if we're not, this is why I wanted us to come here so someone can be here and understand.
06:32 But everything's through here.
06:33 Like fucking hell, should we have sex through here?
06:35 Like he doesn't talk to me, that's not healthy.
06:37 He told me oh everything's fine and then he wants to come here and go oh it's not fine,
06:40 do you know what I mean?
06:41 That's what therapy's for, it's so it's a safe place where people feel heard.
06:43 But he doesn't have to pretend he's okay until he's in here and the real Michael shows up.
06:47 Well I know he's full of surprises but do you know what, like two can play that game.
06:52 I feel like Michael's sitting here telling me oh yeah I'm putting this first and all
06:55 this kind of stuff and like so many things that you don't do as well.
06:58 When it comes to like us, actually us, who's actually putting in the effort?
07:01 Like can we talk about your family?
07:02 What about my family?
07:03 How long have we been together and I've not met your family?
07:06 And he's just come back from a family holiday, right?
07:09 And who went on the holiday please?
07:10 Like, I mean all my family.
07:11 Just family, yeah?
07:12 All my immediate family.
07:13 No partners, right?
07:14 So where were you on your life, no partners?
07:16 There were some partners.
07:17 Yeah, because you know I saw, right?
07:18 Because you know I see every fucking thing.
07:20 He told me he went on a family holiday and I'm not invited because it's strictly just
07:24 family.
07:25 I'm looking on fucking his sister's Instagram, his cousin's Instagram.
07:27 Every single person's brought their partner, their kid, their dog, their fucking goldfish
07:30 and here's me at home and he's fucking lying to me.
07:32 And I wanted to tell you properly, I wanted to wait if you were going to tell me, but
07:35 since we come and told him every single thing in the world, can you please tell him why
07:38 I've not met your family and why you lied to me that everyone wasn't bringing their
07:41 girlfriends?
07:42 Right.
07:44 Right.
07:45 I'll be honest, like, I've never dated a black girl and I've never brought a black girl home.
07:53 My family, they're not racist, I'm not racist obviously, like, but I feel like I need to
08:01 set some things in place before they meet her because I...
08:03 I didn't call you a funny holiday because I'm a black girl.
08:10 He lied to me and pretended that it was just a funny thing because everyone was bringing
08:14 their white girlfriends and you didn't want to bring me because I'm mixed race.
08:18 What were you actually worried about specifically so she would understand?
08:21 I've made mistakes before where I've said the wrong thing, not on purpose, obviously
08:23 not on purpose, but sometimes you don't think about something when you say something about
08:27 upsetting someone.
08:28 It's all new to me.
08:30 I've never been in an interracial relationship.
08:32 So I'm still finding my feet and finding, OK, did I just say something that could actually
08:37 be taken the wrong way?
08:38 I've generally only done it to protect her.
08:40 Protect me from the fact that I'm black?
08:41 No.
08:42 Unless they're straight up definitely racist, this ain't good enough.
08:45 I'm just really hurt, to be honest.
08:46 He's basically saying no blacks, no dogs, no Irish, I'm not allowed on this holiday
08:49 because I'm black, mate.
08:50 But he loves dogs.
08:51 The dogs would be fine.
08:53 I've never been in an interracial...
08:54 Why have you never told me this?
08:55 It's because I love you so much and I want them to love you.
08:58 I just want everything to be right.
08:59 I want them to love her as much as I do.
09:00 Lauren, do you understand what Michael's trying to say as far as the family holiday is concerned?
09:07 It's just hard because it's horrible to not feel good enough to meet your family or something,
09:11 do you know what I mean?
09:12 That I'm not their expectation or what they would prefer.
09:14 I don't understand why you've never said this to me.
09:17 Why can't you speak outside of this room?
09:19 It's very tricky to talk about race.
09:21 That's why I've never ever met any of your family.
09:25 To a degree, yeah, but it's not because of you, it's because of them, do you know what
09:27 I'm trying to say?
09:28 But you wasn't doing anything wrong, but now you have offended me lying.
09:31 I should have tackled it a lot sooner, admittedly.
09:33 I admit that.
09:34 Michael, can you acknowledge from her point how she may feel about it?
09:36 Could you just be open with me from now?
09:38 I went about it the wrong way.
09:39 I could have...
09:40 That's not...
09:41 It's like me and you can tackle that together, do you know what I mean?
09:43 Michael, you want to introduce Lauren to the family, correct?
09:46 Yeah, of course.
09:47 I mean, you do understand that this is typical, you know, relationship problems for interracial
09:50 couples.
09:51 I mean, tackling race is very difficult.
09:52 I mean, amongst even two black people talking about it, it can be difficult, you know what
09:55 I mean?
09:56 Let's get back to some fundamentals.
09:57 Why are you guys actually together?
09:59 For me, I mean, it's a simple answer, that I'm crazy in love with this girl.
10:05 We all know we have our differences, we argue.
10:07 At the end of the day, I'm obsessed with her.
10:09 Lauren, what's your take?
10:11 I love everything about him.
10:13 You know, he's like a caveman, you know?
10:14 He's just like this hairy...
10:15 You know, hairy chest, goes to work, like, he does his thing, he looks after me.
10:18 Like, yeah, I just love...
10:20 I love you.
10:21 Hearing that, Michael, how does that make you feel?
10:22 No, it makes me feel great.
10:24 I still struggle to understand exactly why she's with me and not someone that's more
10:29 in the industry.
10:30 It's probably more my insecurities, I get it.
10:33 Michael needs to understand, like, what's on the outside or what your career is, it's
10:36 the last thing I need in a guy, do you know what I mean?
10:39 If she says she loves me, you know, obviously, I want to believe her, I believe her.
10:41 You're amazing.
10:42 You're amazing.
10:43 It's progress, this is really, really good.
10:46 The therapy has brought to light some of my insecurities and issues, which I need to work
10:52 on because I'm a bit too passive sometimes, so that's something I'm definitely going to
10:56 work on.
10:57 Relationships are not an absence of problems, it's your ability to overcome them.
10:59 Somehow you found your way to get to a place where you can communicate openly.
11:02 And some of this stuff is tough to hear, by the way.
11:04 For you, Lauren, trying to manage career and relationship, that's a tough thing in general.
11:07 Michael having a performer that's doing great, so the fact that they're fighting for it,
11:10 all these things are exceptionally good reflections of the progress and the commitment that you're
11:14 trying to make, and even getting clarity on why you're in a relationship is good.
11:17 Thank you very much, and I'll see you on the next session.
11:19 Thank you so much.
11:20 Take care.
11:21 Take care, Lauren.
11:22 Take care, Michael.
11:23 Have a good one.
11:24 I decided we're not going to go back.
11:25 I'm not going to go back.
11:26 I'm not going to go back.
11:27 I'm not going to go back.
11:28 I'm not going to go back.
11:29 I'm not going to go back.
11:30 I'm not going to go back.
11:31 I'm not going to go back.
11:32 I'm not going to go back.
11:33 I'm not going to go back.
11:34 I'm not going to go back.
11:35 I'm not going to go back.
11:36 I'm not going to go back.
11:37 I'm not going to go back.
11:38 I'm not going to go back.
11:39 I'm not going to go back.
11:40 I'm not going to go back.
11:41 I'm not going to go back.
11:42 I'm not going to go back.
11:43 I'm not going to go back.
11:44 I'm not going to go back.
11:45 I'm not going to go back.
11:46 I'm not going to go back.
11:47 I'm not going to go back.
11:48 I'm not going to go back.
11:49 I'm not going to go back.
11:50 I'm not going to go back.
11:51 I'm not going to go back.
11:52 I'm not going to go back.
11:53 I'm not going to go back.
11:54 I'm not going to go back.
11:55 I'm not going to go back.
11:56 I'm not going to go back.
11:57 I'm not going to go back.
11:58 I'm not going to go back.
11:59 I'm not going to go back.
12:00 I'm not going to go back.
12:01 I'm not going to go back.
12:02 I'm not going to go back.
12:03 I'm not going to go back.
12:04 I'm not going to go back.
12:05 I'm not going to go back.
12:06 I'm not going to go back.
12:07 I'm not going to go back.
12:08 I'm not going to go back.
12:09 I'm not going to go back.
12:10 I'm not going to go back.
12:11 I'm not going to go back.
12:12 I've been so busy with work that I haven't had the chance to hang out with my girls,
12:30 have a little chit chat, have some drinks and just offload about all this that's been
12:35 going on in the therapy session.
12:36 Hey baby.
12:37 Hey.
12:38 What are we doing?
12:39 Where's Lani?
12:40 I don't know.
12:41 Wasn't she meant to come?
12:42 Yeah.
12:43 What's that sigh about?
12:44 Exactly.
12:45 Lydie, she's my bestie.
12:46 She's my sister.
12:47 I wasn't expecting Lydie to be here with the rest of us today.
12:51 I mean, she's not too keen on Sean, so I don't know if that has got anything to do with why
12:56 she's not here today.
12:57 You know Sean thinks she plans to stay, right?
13:00 Yeah, I know.
13:01 Okay, so he basically thinks because, you know, before I met him on Hinge, she liked
13:07 his profile, which she didn't tell me about.
13:09 Oh, he told you?
13:10 He told me.
13:11 And did he accept the like?
13:13 No, apparently not.
13:15 He said no.
13:16 Yeah, but you don't know if he did.
13:17 Exactly.
13:18 I don't know what actually happened.
13:19 These guys, you lying?
13:20 I know that's right.
13:21 She is a sexy girl.
13:22 Yeah.
13:23 Sean seems to think Lydie still likes him.
13:25 I'm not sure.
13:26 They usually hang out with each other when we're all together at my house.
13:30 So I don't really see the connection where or how or why Sean thinks that she likes him.
13:35 Anyway, how's therapy going?
13:38 It was going okay.
13:39 Do you know what I'm saying?
13:40 He did some things that I wasn't happy about.
13:44 And then as you know, we're going and going, this guy has the audacity to talk about, oh,
13:49 I can have any girl, I can have your sister, your auntie, your mum, if I want to, right?
13:54 If I want, that's what he said.
13:55 I'm going to beat him on his chest.
13:57 Was that your very first session?
13:58 The very first session.
13:59 The very first.
14:00 And I'm not being funny.
14:03 The mum, sister comment.
14:04 Yeah, our last session.
14:06 I did let my guard down a bit and did show, you know, my vulnerable side.
14:09 I might have shed a tear.
14:10 What was his reaction?
14:11 To be honest, I wasn't expecting it.
14:14 He also became, like I could see that he became upset that I was upset.
14:17 Do you know what I mean?
14:19 So it's like that kind of made me feel like, okay, progress.
14:21 Like he's softening down and he's, you know, receiving me and your feelings, my feelings.
14:27 Exactly.
14:28 You know, so yeah, I'm actually very happy about that.
14:29 And I'm looking forward to the next session, to be honest.
14:31 We'll see how it goes.
14:32 Well, that's good.
14:33 Cheers, girl.
14:34 Yeah.
14:35 [MUSIC PLAYING]
14:38 Tammy's my girl, man.
14:46 My queen.
14:47 We've been together three and a half years.
14:49 She's my soulmate.
14:50 We're engaged.
14:51 We've got a little one who is 19 months, which is absolutely gorgeous.
14:56 But it's so exhausting being around Tang, like honestly.
14:59 There's three celebrities, right?
15:00 Okay, wait, hold on.
15:01 Can I just--
15:02 Hang on, I don't know what I was going to say.
15:03 One of them you have to kiss, one of them you have to marry, and one of them you have to kill.
15:06 Stupid.
15:07 You're getting on my nerves.
15:08 You're getting on my nerves.
15:09 Tammy would describe me as, he's lovely, but he's irritating.
15:11 He doesn't listen.
15:12 Oh, he just never listens to me.
15:14 He's got zero filter.
15:15 Like, literally, it's so annoying.
15:17 Can I just watch this for five minutes?
15:19 Bingo.
15:20 Can you just stop?
15:21 I just feel like Tang doesn't hear what I'm saying.
15:24 It is like having two babies and a cat and a dog.
15:26 [MUSIC PLAYING]
15:30 [MUSIC PLAYING]
15:33 The person that initiated the therapy 100% was Tammy.
15:38 With me and Tang, there is some core problems that we probably need to just iron out.
15:43 It's something that we need to do.
15:45 Denise is on the phone.
15:47 Oh.
15:48 [MUSIC PLAYING]
15:51 Hi.
15:58 Hello.
15:59 Please take a seat.
16:00 Thank you.
16:01 So what brings you here today?
16:04 I would love him to just basically listen to me more.
16:06 Well, I'd like you to listen to me more as well.
16:08 Babe, I never get a say in anything.
16:10 It's always the Tang show with you, so--
16:12 Yes, it is.
16:13 But it's not a bad thing.
16:14 Yeah, but the thing is, sometimes when you're talking, you're just being playful and just having jokes.
16:18 And for me, it's just I don't need to listen to that.
16:20 I'm a happy, funny guy.
16:21 I'm not-- no, maybe I have selective hearing.
16:23 Maybe I just listen to what I want to hear.
16:24 That's probably--
16:25 I'm admitting it, though.
16:26 Do you know what I mean?
16:27 I'm sure you do that, and I'm sure you don't listen to some things that I say.
16:29 Tang can't communicate whatsoever.
16:31 He is the worst.
16:32 He goes off his emotions.
16:33 So if you say something to him and he doesn't like it, straight away, he just reacts.
16:37 Let me just understand a little bit about you.
16:39 Do you have any children?
16:40 Yeah, I've got a beautiful girl.
16:41 Yeah.
16:42 So has anything changed in your life since this little darling has arrived?
16:45 Oh, yes, totally.
16:46 Absolutely.
16:47 Yeah.
16:48 I mean, it's--
16:49 Well, before the baby coming, right, we were acting like rabbits.
16:51 It was just amazing.
16:52 It was keeping me fit.
16:53 It was brilliant.
16:54 I love sex.
16:55 I'm a pretty horny guy.
16:56 Once our baby came, it's just boom, gone.
16:59 You know, man needs his knees.
17:00 Do you know what I mean?
17:01 I do.
17:02 I get that.
17:03 I think since having a child, I'm just exhausted.
17:05 I work full time.
17:06 I come back home.
17:07 I pick her up from nursery.
17:08 While he's working, I'm the one attending to her.
17:10 I put her to bed.
17:11 Last thing I want to do is just get frisky.
17:13 And I think also a lot to do with my sex drive going down is just since having a child,
17:18 I am just not happy with my new body.
17:22 Tips are down there.
17:23 Like, I've got extra skin.
17:25 Like, I look at myself in the mirror and I just think to myself,
17:27 "This is not me."
17:28 I just miss the way I look before.
17:30 Yeah, but if I'm telling you that, you know, you look nice,
17:33 you should just accept what I'm saying.
17:35 For me, I need to be confident within myself so I can look at myself like,
17:38 "I look fantastic," and that confidence will just naturally come out.
17:41 Like, I don't feel that, and that's what's stopping me from...
17:44 I do tell her, I do say, "Oh, Bob, you are so fit.
17:46 "Look at her, she's beautiful, and, you know,
17:48 "she's got some lovely babylons that I just love."
17:51 Love them too much. It's just ridiculous. The puppies.
17:53 But how important is it for you to have that level of activity increased?
17:58 Oh, very important.
17:59 That connection of making love is what is so important in a relationship.
18:03 I feel like I'm forever just either prepping Ocean's food or...
18:06 See? Using baby as an excuse again.
18:08 No, I'm not, I'm not.
18:10 Did you realise that he was feeling dejected?
18:12 Not to that level, actually. I didn't. I mean, I knew...
18:14 Oblivious, you see. Oblivious. This is what you suffer with.
18:16 I knew he felt some type of way,
18:17 but I didn't think he felt this deeply about it.
18:19 I mean, for me, it's like, you know,
18:21 if we don't have sex for a couple of weeks,
18:23 it's just because, you know, our minds are not in it.
18:25 Like, I thought he was on the same page as me.
18:27 That's down to communication, cos maybe we don't tell each other.
18:30 What's the longest that you haven't had sex?
18:32 Oh, God. In our relationship. Long time. I think six months, was it?
18:34 Six months? No. Six months?
18:36 I gave you something within six months. Like, that's ridiculous.
18:38 Yeah, but full-on sex, like, making love.
18:40 You don't make love. That's really horrible.
18:42 Fuck that. I don't make love. What the hell am I doing, then?
18:45 You don't. Why are you screaming? Why are you making these noises?
18:47 What's that about? What's that? Do you know what I mean?
18:49 He doesn't. He just likes to get straight into it.
18:51 Do you want to go and see if she's OK?
19:06 Oh, my goodness. I don't know.
19:08 You're exchanging contact details with another guy...
19:11 Are you really? Can you do this? ..knowing that you've got a man.
19:13 You basically suck the dick. Basically.
19:15 Bro, you're basically moving like a whore, cos that's some whore-type shit.
19:18 Like, a normal wife or a loyal girlfriend would not move like that.
19:21 Where you going?
19:22 What are you walking off for?
19:26 You're really going to disrespect me?
19:27 What do you mean, disrespect you?
19:28 You're saying how I suck the guy's dick, all of this.
19:30 You're actually being, like, a whore. Yeah, but that's...
19:32 I never called you a whore, man. I just said...
19:34 That's how you move. There's a difference, babe.
19:36 And you're still saying it? Why the fuck are you here?
19:38 Why are you here? Why are you actually here?
19:40 Don't touch me. I'm being dead serious. Don't actually touch me, please.
19:43 Why are you following the whore? I can't, now.
19:45 Why are you following me if I'm a whore, then?
19:47 You're going to disrespect me? How the fuck are you going to disrespect me?
19:50 I said you act like a... You're still saying it?
19:52 Who the hell are you talking to? Have you lost your mind?
19:54 You need to watch your mouth.
19:56 Where?
19:57 Women are hard work, where?
20:00 Obviously, I don't necessarily want to look like the villain out here,
20:05 but she's just...
20:06 You can appreciate that that might have been a difficult sentence to hear.
20:09 I didn't mean it in a disrespectful manner,
20:11 and that's why I'm trying to show her, but she's not even trying to listen to me.
20:14 Do you think she'll come back in the room?
20:17 Listen, man, I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean it like that.
20:20 You know I love you, and I'm not trying to be disrespectful at all,
20:23 but obviously I was just calling her a spade a spade, do you understand?
20:26 I'm so confused. You've come out here again to tell me you're calling her a spade.
20:30 You actually need to get the fuck out of my face.
20:32 I don't understand why she's being dramatic.
20:34 I'm stating facts, like...
20:36 I'm stating facts. Let's go back inside.
20:39 To do what? So that you can go and talk to the whore?
20:42 You brought me here and you want to work things out?
20:44 That's what we're going to do. You're not going to disrespect me, though?
20:47 I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. Let's go back inside.
20:50 Thank you for coming back. It's all right.
20:56 Marie, why did that hurt you so much?
21:01 He literally just insulted me. He called me a hoe.
21:04 That's something that he doesn't even do anyway.
21:06 I don't even know where this even started from.
21:08 It's an assignment, and I apologise. I'm sorry.
21:10 And it'll never happen again. I promise it'll never happen again.
21:13 I promise it'll never happen again.
21:15 Let's go back to the beginning. How did you guys meet?
21:18 We met in 2012 on Twitter. He slid into my DMs.
21:22 Along the way, there's been a lot that's happened.
21:25 Mine and T's relationship, it's been very rocky.
21:29 There was a period where we broke up for a bit.
21:32 So you've been on and off for a few years? Pretty much, yeah.
21:35 I tried to reach out to her to make it work, but she was busy
21:38 with her multimillionaire footballer boyfriend. With who?
21:40 She had a boyfriend who was a footballer.
21:42 I had no choice but to move on, and I had the time of my life.
21:46 I thought...
21:48 Were you ever in contact while Marie was going out with this footballer?
21:51 I think at that point she hated my guts, so no.
21:53 So what did you like about being involved with this man?
21:56 Everything. It was amazing.
21:58 He showed me how a woman should be treated.
22:01 He used to literally worship the ground I walked on.
22:04 He looked after me, Denise. He used to do everything for me.
22:08 He used to... Sorry, it's just a bit weird because he's here.
22:11 Obviously, looking after you is so good that you ended up back with me.
22:14 Yeah, well, anyway, we're going to get to that.
22:16 He took me to some really prestigious event,
22:18 he used to fly a private jet, and he used to, you know, live the life.
22:21 Like, he set the bar very high, and T knows this.
22:24 Like, when I was living my life, T was literally dying to get back with me.
22:28 How did you know that?
22:30 Because of what he'd done after.
22:33 What did you do after?
22:35 I wasn't dying. He came and fucked up my relationship.
22:38 What?! You did.
22:41 MUSIC PLAYS
22:43 What plans could you put in place to spice up now?
22:52 I want her to be spontaneous. I want her to be like, grab me sometimes.
22:55 Do you know what I mean? Boom. And just do something that I'm like,
22:58 "Oh, shit, I want to, like, I don't know, come in."
23:00 And then I've got, like, these rose petals, I've got to follow up the stairs.
23:03 You know, maybe in the evening when we're watching TV or something,
23:06 and I'll just kind of, like, sit next to him on the sofa
23:08 and wear some sexy lingerie. I'll try and be spontaneous.
23:10 I know he likes that and enjoys that. He's just a horny devil.
23:13 He wants it all the time, but I don't necessarily have that in me.
23:16 So you're actually quite a romantic as well.
23:18 I am very romantic. How romantic am I? You are, you are.
23:21 When you want to be. When you're not being playful.
23:23 He would just turn the conversation into some type of joke
23:26 and it would just frustrate me. Why do you think you do that?
23:29 I don't always do that. Deflection.
23:32 Sometimes I just don't think you like facing certain things.
23:35 When he's talking about something serious,
23:37 he's never really wanted to get into a conversation about it.
23:40 I have to always be like, "Babe, I'm talking. Let me finish."
23:43 Because he wants to just joke around about it,
23:45 because maybe he doesn't want to speak about it on my terms.
23:48 He wants to speak it when he's ready. He's got zero filter.
23:51 So what you see is what you get? Absolutely. That's it.
23:54 And that's how it's going to be. What you see is the Tang Man,
23:56 and that's who he is. Does this affect you?
23:58 Yeah, of course it does. He will say some inappropriate things.
24:01 When he met my dad for the first time, he told my dad that he's not going to marry me.
24:04 That's an honest opinion. I can't lie.
24:06 But that's something that you can hold back. That's from my past.
24:09 I have to be honest. Do you know what I mean? You can't help yourself.
24:12 You just have to say... What am I going to say?
24:14 I'm going to lie to your dad and say, "Yes, I'm going to marry Temi."
24:17 Did your dad actually ask that question?
24:19 He asked me how I feel about Temi, what are my intentions with Temi,
24:22 and I said, "I love your daughter, but I'm never going to marry her."
24:26 Who says that to someone's dad? Only Tang would say that.
24:29 Honestly, everyone else would just, like, make a casual conversation.
24:32 I'm not Tang. I don't know why I'm waiting around being engaged to my baby daddy.
24:35 It just makes no sense. Let's book a date.
24:37 I think we have evaluated that there is a communication problem here.
24:41 Oh, definitely. There's obviously a sex issue going on, and spontaneity.
24:45 Mm. Spontaneity.
24:47 I'm going to suggest that before you come back for the next session...
24:51 Yes, talk to me, Denise. ..that you both do something spontaneously...
24:55 Ooh. ..that brings a little bit of a spark,
24:57 and then you come back and tell us about it.
24:59 I'm excited. Is this one? Look, look at the face. Yeah.
25:02 I'll get there. I'm sure you can do it.
25:04 Oh, yeah, no, I can do it, definitely.
25:06 Just... Can you do it? That's what I'm wondering.
25:08 Of course I can do it. I'll do it now if you want.
25:10 And don't forget, she wants you to make love.
25:12 Which I've been doing! No, you have not.
25:14 This is nonsense behaviour.
25:16 # We came in crawling this morning, I'm ready, getting ready... #
25:23 Yeah, I'll try. It's an effort, no? We shall see.
25:27 This is the first time me and Sean are coming together
25:30 to the session as a couple, as opposed to always fighting
25:33 or coming separate or him having a hissy fit.
25:36 So, yes, it does feel good. It feels more united.
25:38 Are you going to be nice today? I'm always nice.
25:41 OK. Peace later.
25:43 Joe's ready for you now.
25:45 The last session was very intense,
25:49 but I'm just hoping that this session is a lot better.
25:51 I just want Ray to be honest... Hey, Ray. Hi, Joe.
25:53 ..respectful, most importantly.
25:55 And I want us to have open discussions,
25:57 cos, like, this is the time and the place to do that.
25:59 The last session was quite productive.
26:01 What else is happening? What else is on your mind?
26:04 Hmm. OK, so there is actually one thing.
26:07 I have this friend who this guy seems to think,
26:11 "Oh, you know, she fancies him."
26:13 One second. Who is she to you? She's my good friend, Lydie.
26:16 Her and I, we've known each other since we were in school.
26:18 First of all, I think your friend likes me, she's a bit flirty,
26:21 bit like, "Yeah, yeah, OK, Sean, you think everybody likes you,
26:23 "like, you're good-looking, but..." But they do.
26:25 Really? I mean... It's not that deep.
26:27 Anyways, I think he's just full of himself, to be honest.
26:29 I don't believe it. Sean, do you think she genuinely likes you?
26:32 I think. I know she likes me.
26:34 Yeah, I go to Ray's and this friend is always there, right?
26:37 She's very touchy-feely. She's meant to be your best friend.
26:40 There needs to be boundaries, no? It's happening often?
26:42 It's happened more than once. And these are things that...
26:44 You're exaggerating! I don't even think she's a good friend.
26:46 She was there from the beginning, from when I met him, right?
26:49 So, you know, has an insight into the relationship.
26:52 So she's concerned and she knows that certain things don't make me happy.
26:55 Example, the whole him not prioritising me.
26:57 So, for her, it almost feels like, OK, she's got my back
27:00 and she wants to see us do well. Is that wrong?
27:03 But I don't prioritise you. No, you don't.
27:05 Why do you feel like he doesn't prioritise you?
27:07 It's just, things have shifted
27:09 from the beginning of the relationship till now.
27:12 You know, in the beginning, it was just like, "Oh, I'm taking you here.
27:14 "Get ready, let's go." That was big, big energy and I liked that.
27:17 The big, big energy is not around anymore.
27:19 So, Sean, what's changed for you?
27:21 To me, quality time is, you can do quality time...
27:23 Just come into Ray's house to sit down and watch TV.
27:25 OK. I'm not sure. You can do quality time anywhere.
27:29 It doesn't have to be in a five-star restaurant to do quality time.
27:31 It would be nice. That's different to quality time.
27:34 So, Ray's version of quality time, it doesn't really make sense to me.
27:37 Like, if we're going together, we're building something together,
27:39 then you should understand that I'm going to prioritise certain things.
27:41 I have to make sure that I'm good for the future, for the both of us.
27:44 I can't go out and be spending, spending, spending all the time.
27:46 It's not beneficial to me. If I'm broken up...
27:48 It's not beneficial to him.
27:50 Going out and spending money on me is not beneficial to him.
27:52 That's basically what he's saying, right, Joseph?
27:54 If I go broke, the girl's going to leave, so I need to count my coins properly.
27:57 She thinks she's safe for the money. Wow.
27:59 I'm not saying you're safe for the money.
28:01 Because at the end of the day, I'm going to be the head of my household, right?
28:04 Do you want to pay bills? I already pay my own bills, like, no shit.
28:07 If you get married, do you want to pay bills?
28:09 Really? Do you want to pay bills if you get married?
28:12 You're going to do that. Exactly.
28:14 But still, still, you should make time. It's called balance.
28:17 Are you saying that he's prioritising his work over you?
28:21 Prioritising work, family, going out over me, yes.
28:24 So there's always important stuff that comes at the right time.
28:26 Like going out with your boy.
28:27 Regha's very fitting into all of that. Thank you.
28:29 Between work... Thank you.
28:30 She fits, but she doesn't fit in the way that she would like.
28:32 I fit when he needs his dick wet, that's when I fit.
28:34 Oh, my God.
28:35 No pun intended.
28:37 Is that what's happening, Sean? No, that's not...
28:39 That's exactly what's happening. How would you work it? What's happening?
28:41 It shouldn't matter how we spend time together, because it's just about quality time.
28:43 From what I'm hearing, there's a struggle with balance.
28:45 Without balance, things can go one-sided and one person can feel neglected.
28:48 If you really want to make it work and you really want to be with somebody...
28:51 Right. ..you can make that time.
28:52 That's true. You can make time.
28:54 But you talked about big, big energy. Right.
28:57 You're going to have to work and sacrifice a lot. Work extremely hard.
29:00 Right? So it's like, do you want a successful man
29:02 or do you want the man that's at home?
29:04 And sacrifices will have to be made.
29:07 Have there been any other instances where you felt that
29:09 Sean has not prioritised you?
29:13 Um...I would say in terms of emotionally...
29:16 I mean...
29:18 I don't want to go into it. Something did happen,
29:22 but I don't think I'm ready to go into it right now.
29:24 But I'm just going to say, emotionally, I feel like he doesn't come through for me.
29:27 I think it's important, that anything that's important to you,
29:30 that Sean knows about it.
29:31 Do you want to say it or should I?
29:35 Um...
29:37 I'm not saying anything.
29:41 MUSIC PLAYS
29:43 Obviously, Maria would be in love with my life.
29:50 I wanted her back at the end of the day, innit?
29:52 I may have clocked what building she lived in
29:54 and I may have got an apartment in the same building.
29:57 And that was a deliberate move? To cause trouble.
29:59 It was a deliberate move. It was a nice area.
30:01 You know, we had the shops all lit around it, banks.
30:04 It was just close to everything, central area, so I just thought,
30:06 "You know, why not?" No, he's lying. He knows why he moved in.
30:09 He told me. What were the reasons he told you?
30:11 He saw, like, the glow-up and he was feeling it, like,
30:14 so he wanted me back.
30:15 But I didn't know I had him blocked on everything,
30:17 so he knew by physically placing himself in front of me,
30:19 maybe he knew that it would bring back some feelings, I don't know.
30:22 And how did that change?
30:23 To be honest, I was in a good place.
30:25 I was happy in the relationship.
30:27 And then T came.
30:28 We used to talk, we used to, like, visit each other's, like,
30:30 apartments and stuff. Like, we didn't used to do anything.
30:32 At the time, we weren't, like, we never slept with each other,
30:34 nothing like that. But, you know, my ex-boyfriend found out,
30:37 obviously, that we were, like, going to each other's apartments,
30:40 and just based on how it looked, he ended it,
30:42 because he believed that I was cheating on him, which I wasn't.
30:45 No, but there must have been some kind of pull.
30:48 There was. I'd be lying if I said that, you know, like,
30:50 seeing him again didn't bring back old feelings.
30:52 Of course, like, he knows the car, so...
30:55 And how did you take that step to get back together again?
30:59 It was kind of organic. It just happened.
31:01 We were just friends, kind of thing.
31:03 And then she just couldn't stay away.
31:06 It's not something that I regret.
31:09 Well, I don't know, like... OK, I'll put it like this.
31:12 I wouldn't have regretted it if T was treating me properly.
31:16 What do you mean, treating you properly? What does that mean?
31:19 You're going, like, "I'm an abuser, like, I hit you and shit."
31:22 No, we're treating you properly.
31:24 Like, just in, like, he would...
31:25 I'm sorry, my ex-boyfriend would never call me a hoe, first of all.
31:28 He doesn't look after me.
31:29 Whenever I ask T for stuff, it's always, "Oh, got this, got that."
31:32 There's always one excuse or the other. I'm not used to that.
31:35 I'm used to being treated like a princess.
31:37 I'm used to getting over how... This girl lives in some fairy-tale land.
31:40 I don't live in a fairy-tale land if I live to be in real life.
31:43 Her ex-boyfriend earns £400,000 a week or some shit like that.
31:46 I'm not a footballer. You shouldn't expect that kind of shit from me.
31:49 I don't expect... You know what I'm on.
31:51 I've got three kids. Before you ask me for a Chanel bag,
31:54 I've got three kids. I'm going to make sure they're good first.
31:57 Why did you get back with me if you knew that you had three kids
32:00 and you don't have what it takes to look after me,
32:02 knowing very well where my standards were at?
32:04 He loves the glow-up.
32:05 He loves the fact that I changed into this new bossy person.
32:08 So how come now, when you're my man, you can't keep that?
32:11 I should spend all my money on you.
32:13 You shouldn't spend all of it, but a reasonable amount, yeah.
32:16 Sometimes I go shopping, I buy her things.
32:18 There's this bag, I was with Jacquemus, whatever it's called.
32:21 I bought her that bag. This girl threw it in her little walk-in wardrobe
32:24 and left it in the corner. I thought she would like it.
32:27 Why would you not see a Chanel bag and think I would like that?
32:30 Since I've even told you that I like Chanel.
32:32 It doesn't matter. That's the whole point.
32:34 So, Marie, explain to him how you want him to look after you.
32:38 I just want to be able to turn to my man and say to him,
32:41 "Babe, I need this, I need that," and him just do it.
32:45 How important is this for you in the relationship? Very important.
32:48 A man should look after his woman. I do look after you.
32:51 It looks like you're both on a different page here.
32:54 OK, we're going to have to wrap it up now, but moving forward,
32:57 I'm going to give you homework to separately think of three things
33:01 that you can put into the relationship that are going to make a positive impact.
33:05 Is that something you think you can do? Possibly.
33:08 It would be great if you could, and I look forward to hearing
33:11 what you come up with, and I'll see you next week.
33:14 I'll try my best.
33:16 The way this session went, words can't even describe how I'm feeling.
33:20 If it came down to, you know, having to decide to leave this relationship
33:24 if my standards are not met, 100% I'm out.
33:27 Like, I'm not compromising on my standards.
33:29 It's just that he comes to his senses and he knows that, you know,
33:32 if he doesn't fix up, he's going to lose, you know.
33:35 He's trophy, he's First Lady.
33:38 Have there been any other instances where you felt that
33:47 Sean has not prioritised you?
33:49 So, Sean and I went through something that I felt like he...
33:54 ..he wasn't there for me.
33:56 I don't know how to start it, because it's just...it's a lot for me.
33:59 Take your time.
34:03 There was a time he wasn't there for me.
34:05 He didn't show up, he didn't bother to communicate,
34:08 and it still hurts me till today, because that was the one time,
34:11 the one time that I wanted you to be there,
34:14 that you promised you was going to be there, and you didn't turn up.
34:17 What actually happened?
34:24 So, there was an unplanned pregnancy.
34:26 And...he...
34:30 ..he had promised that he would come with me to, you know,
34:36 essentially...abort it.
34:39 But he left me. I didn't hear from him.
34:42 He didn't tell me that he wasn't coming with me,
34:45 and I did it myself.
34:48 # Cried out... #
34:51 # Ooh... #
34:53 You didn't even check up on me.
34:57 Like, what man does that?
34:59 # We get to the sky... #
35:02 How was girlfriend in your mind on that day, or was it something else?
35:07 To be honest...
35:11 ..the reason why I didn't show up was cos...
35:16 ..I didn't want her to get rid of it.
35:19 Did you say this to her?
35:21 Yeah, I said it to her.
35:24 But...
35:26 ..I didn't really get a response.
35:28 I thought, you know, by me not showing up,
35:31 she's not going to go through with it.
35:33 But it turned out that she actually did it anyways.
35:36 Ray, did you hear him when he said that?
35:38 I heard him, but...
35:41 ..how could he expect me to keep a child,
35:44 to bring a child into this world where he does things like that?
35:47 He doesn't take things serious when it comes to our relationship.
35:51 You want me to keep a child when you can't even show up?
35:54 Would you have even showed up if I gave birth to a child?
35:56 Of course I would. You haven't shown me any concrete commitment.
35:59 You're not a man of your words.
36:01 Like, that shit hurts.
36:03 And he just let me down.
36:05 I can't lie, the session was very difficult.
36:10 This is the first time we've both spoken openly about determination.
36:14 And I'm glad that we did, because it made Shaun face certain things
36:19 and answer certain questions that he's refused to answer with me.
36:22 So, this session was really, really hard.
36:24 This was a conversation that I didn't expect to come up.
36:28 I'm almost kind of happy that it did,
36:31 cos I think we needed to kind of get it off our chest.
36:33 Me not showing up for her, I realised that, yeah,
36:36 that was the wrong thing to do, and I'm actually kind of
36:38 disappointed in myself, but, yeah, I probably messed up.
36:41 But I want to kind of redeem myself.
36:43 I want to kind of redeem myself now, to be fair.
36:45 Ray and I are in a good place right now,
36:52 but there's something big that I haven't told Ray yet.
36:54 You have to promise me something. I'm behind you.
36:57 I really am curious at this point to know
36:59 if there's a sign on my forehead.
37:01 Can you see anything? Cos I thought there was a sign saying "clown".
37:04 I've decided to bring my partner to therapy.
37:07 I'm a bit worried about the truths that are going to be unveiled
37:10 about both of us as individuals.
37:12 (upbeat music)