Mom vs. Valentine's Day

  • last year
Nicole, who’s admittedly a Dollar-Tree-kind-of-mom is tasked with recreating a pair of Valentine’s crafts. Disillusioned by the current, competitive nature of DIY Valentines, she gets real with us.
Transcript
00:00 Happy Valentine's Day.
00:01 Am I making a fancy dinner?
00:03 Let's see.
00:04 Oh, hell no.
00:06 (upbeat music)
00:10 Okay, so we're going to make little Valentine's Day mice.
00:14 I hate any kind of rodent.
00:16 You want to think this is cute.
00:18 They're not cute, but they look pretty easy.
00:20 But I don't understand the cute saying
00:22 that would go with them.
00:23 Like an olive is like olive you.
00:25 What does a mouse say?
00:26 How does that go with Valentine's Day?
00:28 Oh, I guess they're made with kisses.
00:29 I get it.
00:30 Kiss, see?
00:31 Yeah, so everyone makes their Valentines now.
00:34 That is ridiculous.
00:36 I don't know who started it.
00:37 Probably Martha Stewart or somebody.
00:39 First of all, when I was little, it was just a card.
00:41 Fold it in half with your name on it.
00:44 Now, they don't have time for that.
00:46 Now it's just, don't put anyone's name on it.
00:48 Just sign the name.
00:49 And you better have candy attached to it
00:51 or your friends are not going to be happy,
00:53 according to my kids.
00:54 So now people probably spend $30 on Valentines
00:59 for one kid per class.
01:01 I'm still a $5 and under kind of lady here.
01:05 Sorry, my kids' friends.
01:06 I might attach candy to it,
01:08 but it's still gonna be a card from the dollar store.
01:10 So I assume we're supposed to make these
01:12 and then put them with a Valentine.
01:13 Now let's talk about the teacher gift.
01:16 Is this necessary?
01:17 Does the teacher really want a wreath made of candy?
01:20 No, she wants a bottle of wine.
01:22 Of all the crafts that we could have chosen,
01:24 these are doable.
01:26 I like doable.
01:27 Got our kisses.
01:29 You put two of these together, you glue them,
01:31 and that makes the mouse body.
01:33 That I'm okay with.
01:34 It's when we get to all these little details
01:36 that are unnecessary.
01:37 That's when I start to get worked up.
01:40 You gotta make ears, eyes, nose, and tail.
01:44 Because I promise all those kids
01:45 are gonna pay special attention to these little details.
01:48 They're just gonna rip open the candy
01:50 to get to the chocolate.
01:51 So do you think that you would be making these
01:53 or your kids?
01:54 Oh, the moms are totally making these
01:57 because it started when my kids were in nursery school.
02:01 Those one-year-olds don't know how to do this.
02:04 So when the moms send these elaborate bags home
02:06 that have a cute theme,
02:08 and all I did was send their kid a lollipop,
02:11 I felt so down on myself.
02:13 Then it just got worse and worse and worse.
02:15 I'm gonna make six.
02:17 We're gonna pretend we're in the nursery school
02:18 where they only have six kids in the class.
02:20 In my kids' class, there's 13 or 16 or something.
02:24 But if you have to make it for the entire fifth grade
02:27 or the entire whatever grade, you're screwed.
02:30 You better have gone to the dollar store.
02:31 I think the tail part is a little excessive.
02:34 You could have just used the end of the Hershey Kiss
02:36 'cause that would save you on one more thing
02:38 you have to buy for this craft.
02:40 We had to buy the Hershey Kisses, string, wiggly eyes.
02:44 So let's see, we're up to about three, six, $10.
02:48 That's not terrible.
02:49 I would have the paper.
02:49 Maybe that would be the only thing I didn't have to buy.
02:51 Who's gonna cut out all these little circles for the ears?
02:54 If we did this, I would then just get plain
02:57 construction paper and cut little squares out
03:00 and my kid would write, "To Amy from Stella," period.
03:04 I'm not then gonna go buy the box of Valentines.
03:07 I wouldn't choose the mouse.
03:08 I still wouldn't choose the mouse.
03:10 I needed to speak more Valentine's Day
03:12 right off the get-go.
03:13 I'd have to be thinking, "What does mouse mean?"
03:15 My kids would be like, "Mom, that's all they're gonna get?
03:17 "One little mouse?"
03:20 So I would probably choose a craft that's a little bigger
03:22 so it looks like, you know, if we're gonna do this,
03:25 let's impress everybody.
03:26 My kids come home with a bag full of bags
03:29 of Valentine treats.
03:30 And it's Valentine's Day.
03:31 This is not Halloween, people.
03:33 Ay-yi-yi.
03:34 This glue is so stringy.
03:36 Okay, I forgot to put the ears in.
03:38 I should have done that.
03:39 They're so little.
03:40 Too little for my hands.
03:41 Why would you do this?
03:43 Unless your kid was named Minnie or something.
03:45 Then it would make sense.
03:46 Okay, I'm trying to think of a good mouse saying.
03:49 - It's mice to be your friend.
03:51 - Oh, that's a good one.
03:52 So mice to meet you.
03:54 I don't think these are gonna stand up as cute
03:56 as they do on this little picture.
03:58 One down, 50 to go.
04:01 Yeah, my kids would get bored
04:02 probably after a couple minutes.
04:03 So then I would be up late the night before Valentine's
04:07 doing this.
04:08 Everything seems to be like a competition
04:10 of who can be the fanciest, who brings the best treats.
04:15 And then every holiday loses its meaning.
04:18 Valentine's has become like Christmas morning
04:21 all over again.
04:22 Kids get all this stuff.
04:23 And who brought it, Cupid?
04:25 Trying to decide if my kids' friends would figure out
04:28 that this is a mouse.
04:29 Did you put the nose on the last one?
04:31 Oh, no, that's what's missing.
04:33 It just took me what, five minutes to make two?
04:37 And I'm in nursery school class.
04:38 Imagine if I was in the elementary school.
04:40 Ain't nobody got time for that.
04:42 Maybe I won't make six.
04:43 Okay, the hot glue is annoying enough.
04:46 We're gonna have to come up with something else.
04:48 Tell me one person who thinks a mouse is not a rat.
04:51 Minnie Mouse looks nothing like a mouse.
04:53 I know a lot of people that would have done this
04:54 like when their kids are in their first year of school.
04:58 And then as each year goes by, you do less and less
05:01 'cause they finally get it.
05:03 Everybody's just so extra.
05:06 I haven't even gotten to the teacher yet.
05:08 I'm over it.
05:09 Moving on.
05:12 You wanna glue them on there, little pre-made cards?
05:15 Oh my gosh, no.
05:17 No, this is the way it would be.
05:20 That now doesn't match this.
05:22 So you'd have to get like Minnie Mouse valentines
05:25 or if you wanna see what I really do.
05:27 You write your name on it.
05:29 That's all I would do.
05:30 Might take these back to the store.
05:32 Get my money back.
05:33 Now, the valentines candy wreath.
05:35 Oh, that poor teacher.
05:37 Curl some ribbon, snip it in sections
05:40 and pin them all over the wreath.
05:42 I don't know why you just wouldn't glue the ribbon.
05:44 Or I would just tie the ribbon.
05:46 Let's tie the ribbon.
05:47 Take the pins back.
05:49 I would never do this in real life.
05:51 See, the ribbon's probably about a dollar.
05:53 This is probably about a dollar.
05:55 And this is like five dollars.
05:56 Again, we're close to $10 for the teacher gift.
05:59 Now, teachers, would you rather have this
06:01 or a five dollar gift card from Starbucks?
06:04 Okay, let's get to gluing.
06:08 So extra.
06:10 I think tying the ribbon was a good idea.
06:13 Oh, this is dumb.
06:14 My kids would want to do this for their teachers
06:17 and then they wouldn't believe me
06:19 when I would say, "Listen, I promise you,
06:21 "they don't want that."
06:22 Although, you know one of my kids' teachers
06:24 is getting this when I leave here.
06:26 Oh, that Nicole.
06:27 How did she have time to do this?
06:29 More glue.
06:30 Are you feeling really creative?
06:31 I'm not sure creative is the word.
06:33 Although, I'm feeling kind of proud.
06:35 Mine's pretty cute.
06:37 Here's a tip.
06:38 If you use these little smaller candies,
06:40 they fill in the white spaces.
06:42 (scissors snipping)
06:43 You didn't think I knew how to do that.
06:45 It's coming, it's coming.
06:46 Okay, big ribbon on the top.
06:48 If I was a teacher, I'd probably be annoyed
06:50 at parents who did things like this.
06:52 I would feel like they're trying to suck up to me.
06:54 This is why you buy a pre-made bow.
06:56 (scissors snipping)
06:58 I can do this.
06:59 Almost.
07:00 Lord, why am I spending so much time on this?
07:03 Again, teachers, you know you want this.
07:07 I did pretty damn good.
07:09 Feeling a little bit accomplished.
07:10 Overall, Valentine's Day has become overplayed.
07:15 The expectations on moms and parents are just too high.
07:20 The teachers are not expecting this,
07:22 so that's good because they're not gonna get it.
07:24 I guess there's gonna be one lucky teacher
07:27 and one lucky kid.
07:28 Now, if one of my kids' teachers
07:30 genuinely would rather have this
07:33 than a Starbucks gift card, let me know
07:35 and I will make you one
07:37 and every other teacher at the school one.
07:39 (bell dinging)
07:40 Until then, happy Valentine's Day.
07:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]

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