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00:00 Sabrina Animated Series Episode 2.
00:02 You'd think the intro wouldn't have Harvey ride in Sabrina's room with her since the whole premise has him be oblivious.
00:09 Though it makes sense anyways because you could wipe his memory of it whenever.
00:12 It just doesn't seem in character for Animated Series Sabrina.
00:16 Sabrina opens a cage door to release a mouse and he just runs up to Cheese to get it.
00:23 Which disappoints her and Harvey who thinks the mouse should be a genius by now and want him to go through a maze.
00:29 Jams always a waste of time.
00:31 I wonder if I'll miss anything by skipping most of her dialogue.
00:35 I mean if she really matters she'll still be a major part of a climax.
00:39 The science teacher says the professor's visiting the town so he urges the classroom to do their best.
00:46 Quickly reveals he made a huge maze for the mouse.
00:49 Harvey gets told to go upstairs and quickly says he's proud of Sabrina.
00:55 He condescendingly says she's focusing on science and not relying on magic.
00:59 Fuck quickly.
01:01 Besides doesn't he know she's only doing this because the science teacher forced her to?
01:06 The mouse impresses them making Sabrina gets to enjoy another hug.
01:11 And Sabrina says Salem's jealous of all the attention the mouse is getting.
01:15 She knows she shouldn't let Salem supervise the mouse.
01:19 He wastes time denying that he's a cat and somehow guilts her when regardless she should know he somehow enslaved the cat instincts anyways.
01:28 So there's no excuse for letting him supervise a mouse.
01:32 The next day she eventually realizes the mouse is gone and Salem burps.
01:37 When she accuses him of eating the mouse he says that she should have known that happened because he's a cat.
01:46 Wow surprisingly dark he actually did eat her precious mouse.
01:50 He could have just zapped up an exact copy of the mouse and eaten that.
01:55 He could have done that until he was full.
01:57 Surprisingly she tells Salem to turn himself into a mouse rather than keeping it simple and telling him to zap up an exact copy of the mouse.
02:06 Or zap me up the mouse herself.
02:09 It can't be hard for someone to visualize something so there's no excuse for not doing that.
02:15 Instead she relies on Spooky.
02:17 Why wasn't it immediately explained why he's in the house?
02:20 Why wasn't he in the first episode?
02:23 So she uses a paper from him to turn Salem to a mouse who inexplicably can still talk.
02:29 I guess the witch's spell that mercifully lets him still talk is just impossible to overpower.
02:35 She should really explain that she knows she could zap up a New Chester.
02:39 And she just wants to punish Salem because otherwise the plot is forced.
02:44 Obviously Quigley would know this isn't Chester.
02:47 Especially since he remarks her now he's chubbier.
02:49 I'm glad he gets sprayed with water.
02:52 Hilda's dirty because Zelda made her clean up her junk from the attic.
02:56 So she asks Sabrina to give her a hand with her absolutely idiotic way of cleaning the attic without magic.
03:03 And Hilda's free of dirt next scene so obviously she used magic to clean herself up.
03:09 And yet won't clean the attic with magic.
03:13 Sabrina approached the door which she was told has something to do with another world.
03:17 And she's left unsupervised with it somehow.
03:20 So she opens it and wanders around in the arbitrarily confusing scientifically impossible world.
03:26 Which can be justified with magic overuse.
03:29 She sees aliens behind a door.
03:32 Why the witch realm only show aliens in it?
03:35 It only makes sense if the aliens were there because they're witches too.
03:40 Sabrina can't find the door back home so it's forced that she doesn't instantly warp back home.
03:46 Why didn't Salem look the same as Chester?
03:49 Why did Sabrina see a copy of herself?
03:52 They must have been on drugs when they thought of this.
03:55 Normally I would think that's a compliment because it means you're being really creative.
04:00 But it doesn't actually matter to the plot.
04:03 This whole scene could have been cut out.
04:05 Harvey eventually put Salem in the mouse maze.
04:09 Why is Salem refusing to go through the maze?
04:11 He should want to make it up to Sabrina.
04:14 Because Jem calls Sabrina a loser along with him, he does go through the whole maze.
04:20 Why didn't anyone hear him talk?
04:23 Hilda tells Sabrina that the way out was the door with the exit sign.
04:27 So that really was forced even in the logic of the episode.
04:31 Sabrina lies too quickly that something's in the backyard to smartly manipulate him to leaving the room.
04:38 So she takes paper out of the spooky jar.
04:40 Why does she think she has to do that?
04:42 Nobody would be so stupid that she'd need to do that for magic.
04:46 And again, I don't know why Spooky's even in the house...
04:49 ...in a household that doesn't want Sabrina using magic.
04:53 Harvey tells her she won.
04:55 Dr. Houston was so impressed he gave Harvey ten bucks for Salem to make him an astronaut.
05:01 And Harvey offers Sabrina five bucks.
05:05 Why is he gonna be used as an astronaut when who knows what he'll even need to do in space?
05:10 Just because he's smart.
05:11 Even the world's smartest mouse would still not be more useful than any other normal mouse...
05:17 ...because there's only so smart it can be.
05:19 It is realistic that they can't think of what to use a smart mouse for...
05:23 ...because either way, it's too small to actually use his intelligence for anything with no education.
05:28 Sabrina explains in way why she's upset that she bonded with Chester.
05:33 Quickly tells Sabrina he's proud of her for winning the science fair as he drives the car with her in it.
05:39 He tells the officer he's here for the tour.
05:42 This episode sure has a lot of padding.
05:45 Why link her on the scene with just Salem in a cage?
05:48 There's no reason the Professor wouldn't even react when Salem talks.
05:52 At least the sitcom didn't make that mistake.
05:56 It had a consequence for the whole episode when someone heard him.
05:59 Sabrina and Harvey run from somebody...
06:02 ...and Harvey presses a button thinking it'll be a light switch which turns off the gravity.
06:06 It's charming to see them fly around for fun.
06:09 She can't stop, so he tells her to grab something and a button is pressed to scare them.
06:14 The guard turns off the anti-gravity so they fall, acting hurt from it.
06:18 But they're still able to run around the rest of the plot and end up going to the thing that spins.
06:24 Quickly wishes Sabrina was here to see this because she'd love it.
06:28 At least he does care about her happiness.
06:31 Unless it involves her making herself happy with magic.
06:35 Harvey apologizes and says this is all his fault.
06:38 But he can't have saved Salem.
06:40 Salem throws cheese at Quigley's head to get his attention.
06:44 I have a question.
06:45 Since he has magic, why doesn't he use it to instantly save himself?
06:49 Sabrina would simply warp Salem to her and end the plot immediately.
06:54 It wouldn't be hard to visualize him.
06:56 And like with freezing time, I'm pretty sure they're gonna do that at some point in the show, proving that witches can do that.
07:03 While she did tell Harvey she wanted the mouse back, the fact remains she would have been able to make him forget that.
07:09 So she wouldn't be stuck having to resolve things the mortal way.
07:12 But no.
07:13 The animated series Sabrina can't erase the memory.
07:16 She never did so in the comic.
07:18 Eventually, Sabrina opens the door and the guard gets warped away because Sabrina opens a piece of paper.
07:25 And also, Salem returns to normal.
07:27 Couldn't she have just asked Spooky for a piece of paper that would warp Salem back to her?
07:32 If there's no apparent limit on what the scrolls can do?
07:36 I mean, she could also ask Spooky to erase Harvey's memory of what happened to the mouse.
07:42 Quigley annoys me saying he's waiting and she tackles him.
07:46 The guard gets punished for being annoying because he's replaced Salem in the Rockdance.
07:51 Like everything that happened because Sabrina didn't just use Spooky to get Salem back was just annoying.
07:56 Quigley reveals he made sure the countdown would have taken longer because he walked around without his pants.
08:02 Why didn't we see that?
08:05 Sabrina hugs him for it.
08:07 And the story ends.
08:09 She asks how he knew the mouse was Salem.
08:11 And it turns out that Salem wrote a message in the cheese he threw at his head.
08:16 So this episode was about Sabrina making Salem get turned into a mouse to replace the one he ate for a science project.
08:23 Even though it's instantly obvious she or Salem could simply zap up a new version of that mouse and avoid the plant.
08:30 But this could have been made to make sense if Sabrina explains that she just wants to spite Salem.
08:36 For being too mean to simply zap up enough food that he would be too full to eat Chester.
08:43 But she ends up getting karma for it because Salem's success in the maze gets him put in a rocket meant to be sent to space.
08:49 Because apparently the professor thinks smart mice are more likely to survive being put through this for no reason.
08:56 There's no excuse for the plot being so long because obviously Sabrina would have pointed to instantly return Salem to her.
09:03 She could have also told Spooky or one of her aunts to do that.
09:07 If she was somehow too stupid to herself because she's new to magic.
09:12 Which isn't even verbally expressed as the excuse most of the time.
09:15 Even then she still would have warped to the science fair right away when she got lost and prevented Salem from being kidnapped.
09:24 Her being a kid is no excuse because we're supposed to think kids have imagination.
09:29 So she should have had the imagination to think of when to use her powers.
09:33 This was a fine episode to watch because I didn't hate my experience.
09:39 Quigley was racist against magic, but like last episode it never led to discipline anyways.
09:45 Even though the plot only happens from the wrong spell being used.
09:49 Sabrina Animated Series Episode 3.
09:53 I hate that there's narration about life by Sabrina.
09:56 It's pretentious, especially since the earlier episodes didn't have that.
10:00 There's a poster put up about a dance and there's a silly moment where Sabrina and Jem stand in front of each other like it's a Wild West standoff.
10:08 I guess Sabrina thinks she's too moral to just brainwash her.
10:12 Sabrina jumps into the dirt and eventually asks Harvey if he'd be willing to go with her to the dance.
10:18 And the whole time Jem could have just interrupted her.
10:21 He uncharacteristically gets nervous and says he's not going with either her or Jem because he's not going to the dance at all.
10:28 Somehow someone saying that makes everyone shocked, cars crash, and a plane crash.
10:36 Salem gets bullied with magic for being annoying, hypocritically.
10:41 And Hilda assumes the school dances are like the 1780s.
10:46 It's always charming when they make use of how old the ants are.
10:49 Sabrina wants to do a perception spell to make Harvey say what's wrong.
10:54 And Zelda wants her to just go over to his house and ask him why and she warps into his door.
11:00 But isn't it obvious he wouldn't tell her what's wrong?
11:04 But it is moral of her to not want to use a spell that pokes around in his mind.
11:08 Sabrina did with Aaron in the sitcom.
11:11 Come to think of it, it was reckless of her to warp her to his door because for all she knew a mortal would see that.
11:17 But I assume she assumes that a spy would erase the memory of any mortal that saw that.
11:23 Eventually, Harvey says he can't dance.
11:26 Sabrina somehow expects me to believe that because it's middle school, nobody cares if you can really dance and just have to improvise.
11:34 It's like the writer forgot that bullying is a very constant thing, so kids will jump at any excuse to make fun of you.
11:40 He eventually says that his mom made him take ballet, which is abusive of her because in real life,
11:46 that will literally get a guy bullied for the rest of the time he's in school.
11:50 The flashback goes on too long.
11:52 Him moving his legs actually breaks something and summons ghosts and cracks the wall.
11:57 This would only make sense if he was cursed by a witch.
12:00 Sabrina accuses him of exaggerating and asks what really happened.
12:04 When she should believe him because she's a witch.
12:07 Even if it is unlikely that it happened.
12:12 We see that what really happened is that he somehow went backwards and knocked a wall over on a piano player to injure him.
12:19 He says his feet are weapons and it's normally that he says he dances alone when we're supposed to take this seriously.
12:25 Like if you don't want us to take it seriously,
12:28 why would you ever make plots that are supposed to be taken seriously?
12:31 Sabrina tells Hilda that Harvey won't dance because he's afraid he'll be a klutz.
12:36 In the 70s comic, he is a klutz, so he's smart here.
12:40 Hilda looks sympathetic by explaining to her a story from her past where she had a friend who had a dance problem.
12:47 Her friend from the past was going to dance with her at a disco from centuries ago.
12:51 Obviously, the disco is in the witch world or was introduced to mortals early by witches.
12:57 He's dancing got the other girls in love with him and he happily ditched her.
13:01 And she tells her she dumped him and she talks if he's still alive.
13:05 That should mean her ex is a witch too.
13:08 So she told her this to make her feel better about the fact that Harvey doesn't want to dance by showing her that it'd be bad if he danced well.
13:15 Didn't work.
13:17 I mean, she does just want to dance with her for that one school dance.
13:21 And besides, she knows that Harvey isn't the type to just happily ditch her for a bunch of other pretty girls at the drop of a hat.
13:28 At least in this show, anyway.
13:30 So of course, they didn't talk her out of it.
13:32 So Salem says "very interesting" and offers to help Sabrina.
13:36 She could brainwash Harvey out of his problem, but if she did, he might get completely obsessed with dancing.
13:43 So I guess it is smart of her not to.
13:45 And she thinks she's too mortal to do that.
13:48 Instead, she tells Sabrina that she could get the help of Hilda's ex to help Harvey.
13:52 So she reads the spell out loud.
13:54 Somehow, this causes the house to shake for a while.
13:58 Why?
13:59 Why would a spell to summon specifically Hilda's ex even be in the spell book?
14:05 Why wouldn't the spell just result in Hilda's ex warping to her?
14:09 If it always made a house shake, that could injure people or even kill them.
14:13 And besides, it'd be an inconvenience to the person who summoned.
14:18 Quinnie could be doing anything at that point.
14:20 He arrogantly says he's the lord of the dance and is surprised that he's on Earth.
14:25 Even though obviously the other realm bedrooms would look the same as mortal bedrooms.
14:29 The guy she had no reason to get to meet says he doesn't want to consort with mortals when he has other things to do.
14:36 He says he's got a new Janet Jackson video to choreograph.
14:39 Quinnie just said he doesn't help mortals.
14:42 So either Janet is a witch in this universe.
14:45 In which case, she'd have used magic to make people forget about her most embarrassing moment.
14:50 He says he'll only help her if she signs a contract.
14:53 And of course, she doesn't read it out of desperation for his help.
14:56 Let me guess, the contract is to force Hilda back with him.
15:00 Which would only make me wonder why he doesn't just zap up a new Hilda to date.
15:04 I assume she's morally opposed to brainwashing him into agreeing to help her.
15:08 Any kid who watched Star Wars would think that they could do the Jedi trick if they're a witch.
15:14 And it couldn't be hard to visualize either.
15:16 We then see Harvey wonderfully dancing with Sabrina at the school dance for a while at padding.
15:21 I'm glad it didn't turn out to be just an imagined spot.
15:24 Because it's so rare for a story to be so nice to Sabrina.
15:28 Harvey got new shoes.
15:30 And it's discussed that it's likely he couldn't say no.
15:32 It turns out that whenever music plays, Harvey is forced to dance.
15:36 Harvey even discusses it with Sabrina later.
15:39 So he really trusts her because he just assumes she'll believe him.
15:44 It turns out the shoes won't let him take them off.
15:46 And Sabrina can't do it for him either.
15:49 I assume the dance guy made the shoes this way just to spite Hilda.
15:53 Sabrina even tries to use a wrench to get the shoes off.
15:56 An ice cream truck coincidentally passes by.
16:00 And somehow it forces Harvey to go after instead of force him to dance.
16:05 Thankfully this isn't gonna matter to the plot.
16:08 So it doesn't really matter that it was so unlikely to happen.
16:12 Like I've never seen an ice cream truck pass by my house.
16:16 Zelda says the last time Sabrina reminded her aunt they loved her,
16:20 she conjured up a beef gravy storm.
16:22 She wouldn't have done that anyways.
16:24 And she would have fixed the problem herself.
16:26 Hilda reveals that a witch can't undo a god's magic.
16:30 Quigley says Sabrina's grounded.
16:33 I feel like a mortal shouldn't be allowed to punish a witch relative of his.
16:37 But this is for a justified reason.
16:40 It'd be awesome if we never saw her suffer through being grounded.
16:44 Because she's already being punished by the events of the plot.
16:47 Then Thor gets warped to them when he's still in the bathtub.
16:50 It's lucky that his bathtub and bubbles are still there.
16:54 I assume Hilda's warping spell included the condition that they would still be there if he was in the bathtub.
17:00 And witches got used to having that condition.
17:03 Predictably, the contract has it that Hilda has to marry him to uncurse Harvey.
17:08 So Hilda says it's not really so bad if Harvey stays this way.
17:13 Really a "do as I say, not as I do" type of parent.
17:16 Sabrina thinks instantly to manipulate him by saying Harvey's now a better dancer than him.
17:23 And makes a wager to prove who's the better dancer.
17:27 If Harvey wins, he gets the shoes off.
17:30 But what's gonna force this guy to take off the shoes just because he lost the bet?
17:35 He should say this belly cast will do it.
17:39 If he really wants Hilda as his bride, even though obviously an unwilling wife would be awful to him,
17:45 then he won't hold up his end of the bargain.
17:47 Sabrina tells Harvey the truth without revealing magic.
17:51 We don't need a scene dedicated to this.
17:54 Salem snarks about the evil shoe salesman being a part of the lie,
17:59 when it's not that far-fetched if he just assumes he's a witch.
18:03 Harvey is smart enough to ask Sabrina what's going on when he sees him.
18:07 The god shows him that a bunch of judges that are from a long time ago are here for no reason.
18:13 I guess this belly cast that screws him over if Harvey wins requires there to be judges.
18:20 It doesn't really matter that he's giving away that he's supernatural though,
18:23 because Harvey already figured out the shoes are cursed.
18:26 So he already knows supernatural figures exist now.
18:29 So at this point, it wouldn't really matter if she told him he's a warlock.
18:34 If the logic is she's always being spied on, and so she'll instantly get punished if she tells him about witches.
18:40 Well, Chloe knows about witches. Nothing happened to Sabrina.
18:44 And you'd think the people spying on them would be pretty interested in what they're seeing now.
18:50 Out of nowhere, the god removes Harvey's shoes to see what a good dancer he is without them.
18:56 Let me guess, he'll still be a good dancer.
18:59 After all, he did take a dance class.
19:02 But there's no way the judges would make him the winner regardless.
19:05 After all, they're biased in the god's favor.
19:08 They don't like mortals, and they would be scared of pissing him off by admitting that Harvey's better.
19:12 Harvey somehow ends up going backwards and walking to the judges' table,
19:17 which somehow causes damage.
19:20 Someone says that it was brilliant, and somehow the hurt judges all agree.
19:25 Because the story needs a happy ending.
19:28 The god says he mastered every dance.
19:32 He gets told all he does is reproduce the talent of others,
19:35 while Harvey's dances are his own.
19:38 So the judges respect them more.
19:40 I don't think this writer respects the dance then.
19:43 Almost every dancer in real life just reproduces the dances of others,
19:47 usually only people who weren't taught how to dance improvise.
19:51 So what kind of dance judges would be guaranteed to pick the person who didn't get taught how to dance for a very long time,
19:58 who was just improvising?
20:01 It looks like the god turned into a pink tornado and vanished in front of Harvey,
20:05 which must've been part of the contest spell.
20:08 Sabrina hugs him,
20:09 and Harvey says this theater crowd she hangs out with is bizarre.
20:13 Why does he think she regularly hangs out with them?
20:17 Logically, there's no way in hell that he doesn't know supernatural people exist by now.
20:22 It's apparently fine to reveal that magic in general exists,
20:26 as long as you don't reveal that witches exist,
20:29 because then that usually causes the mortal to be paranoid of every human around them if something awful happens,
20:35 because they could be a witch for all he knows.
20:37 While if he thinks he's just a supernatural figure of ill-defining,
20:41 like an angel,
20:42 he wouldn't get paranoid.
20:44 I assume she thinks it's too irresponsible to tell Harvey about magic too.
20:49 I'm glad Christianity wasn't referenced, but that's just me.
20:53 Speaking objectively,
20:55 it would be better writing to just have Harvey say that he assumes this guy is a demon who only looks human,
21:00 and that he assumes that about all of the judges who were saved to be quite old.
21:05 It's not all that likely that Hilda's act would be an outright god,
21:09 since I'm sure gods are minorities among witches in the witch realm.
21:13 But if he were a warlock,
21:15 the plot would be the same,
21:17 only be more believable.
21:19 This episode is about Harvey getting given shoes to make him willing to dance with Sabrina
21:25 that are cursed to force him to dance in response to music.
21:28 Because Hilda's ex wants a contract Sabrina desperately signed to force Hilda to marry him to get the curse undone.
21:36 She would hate him her whole life for it,
21:39 so what's the point?
21:40 He just wants to say he has her.
21:42 It's good that it was established that it's impossible to take off the shoes.
21:47 We should've been shown Sabrina warping the shoes off him knowing that her aunt could erase his memory anyways.
21:54 And when the shoes warp back to his feet,
21:56 then it fully makes sense that the plot happened.
22:00 But I can assume that's the case,
22:02 because they're magical shoes.
22:04 You'd think Salem would be under constant supervision.
22:08 The plot could've easily not happened if Hilda didn't date this one guy.
22:13 But if the only real problem with the story is coincidence, it's still a good story.
22:18 The jerk, Samael, gets the idiot ball and agrees to cast a spell that is the curse on Harvey removed
22:24 if the judges vote him the better dancer.
22:26 I assume that's why he disappeared at the end and Harvey got his life back to normal.
22:30 So I don't even have to say that the ending was forced.
22:34 It makes sense that the judges weren't too scared to vote for Harvey if they knew it would cause this jerk to disappear.
22:40 Maybe they had a grudge against him.
22:43 I have to assume that he actually died.
22:45 Otherwise, there'd be no excuse for him not instantly warping back here
22:49 and putting the shoes back on Harvey and forcing Hilda to marry him.
22:53 So the impossible happened, and the show actually had a well-written episode.
22:57 I'll put that on the list.
22:59 Too bad it makes the marriage contract plot of the later 2000s comics look unoriginal.
23:04 And of course, it's still in the lower list of good quality episodes
23:09 because it's still all about magic being evil.
23:12 (upbeat music)