One of the stars of TV’s Maging Sino Ka Man, Mikoy recently won the coveted Best Actor trophy at the recent 19th Cinemalaya Philippine Independent Film Festival. He takes us back to that unforgettable moment and tells us what goes on in an intimacy workshop.
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00:00 It's just sad to think sometimes that I had to learn all those things in the expense of hurting another person
00:08 that I can't avoid.
00:11 And I think he was the same way before.
00:13 But in the end, there's still...
00:17 Are we talking about a specific...
00:19 Are we thinking about the same thing here?
00:21 There's no other ex.
00:23 It's just one.
00:25 [music]
00:31 Nikoy, first of all, congratulations.
00:34 Thank you.
00:36 The last time I talked to you, we were just talking about your movie.
00:41 And the following week, you won a trophy.
00:44 I know.
00:45 The Prescon, right?
00:47 Yes, the Prescon.
00:48 I was so hyped because I hadn't watched the movie yet.
00:55 I was still excited about it.
00:57 But you also asked me if I had expectations, right?
01:02 Yes.
01:03 And at that time, I didn't have any in my mind.
01:06 I just thought that I gave it my all.
01:08 I did my best. I know that in my heart.
01:10 I did my best.
01:11 And I wanted to see the final output.
01:13 I wanted it to translate on screen.
01:16 That's what I was doing.
01:18 When I saw the movie, everything in my heart calmed down.
01:23 You were calm.
01:24 Yes, I was calm.
01:26 I was relieved that whatever happens at this point,
01:30 I was able to pull the trigger.
01:32 I was able to do it.
01:34 I was able to calm down.
01:36 I was able to calm down.
01:38 At least I got to see it.
01:40 That's what I was anxious about.
01:42 To see the movie.
01:44 Until...
01:46 Until...
01:48 A few moments before the actual awards night.
01:53 I didn't watch any other entries for the whole week.
01:58 We watched 2 movies that had extended screening that day.
02:02 At the PICC.
02:04 We were there around 11-12 at lunchtime.
02:08 We watched Rookie and Iti Ma Pukpukaw.
02:12 There were so many people.
02:14 We were waiting in the car.
02:16 I was with my girlfriend, Issa.
02:18 After the second movie, when we were in the car,
02:22 we still had an hour and 30 minutes before the awards night.
02:26 That's when it started for me.
02:29 My stomach started to hurt.
02:32 You were anxious.
02:34 I was anxious.
02:35 From that, I was breaking down.
02:38 I was like...
02:42 At first, I was nervous.
02:44 I was expecting to win.
02:46 What if I didn't win?
02:48 Would I be able to hide my reaction?
02:50 Would I be bitter if I announced Khaleel's name?
02:54 That's what I was thinking at that time.
02:56 I was telling my girlfriend to give Khaleel the award.
02:59 So that it would end.
03:00 "Please text me now and tell me you didn't win."
03:03 "Go home."
03:04 That's what I was waiting for on my phone.
03:06 But really, when I was in the car,
03:09 because we had so much time in the car,
03:11 I reached a point where I was nervous.
03:14 It was really hard and new for me
03:18 and uncomfortable to acknowledge myself.
03:23 To acknowledge the work I did.
03:25 I wasn't used to accepting and telling myself
03:31 and accepting it wholeheartedly that I did good.
03:35 I was used to, at the end of the day,
03:39 when it's just me and myself,
03:41 when I'm driving home from the shoot or whatever,
03:44 I'm still like, "Yeah, I'm okay with that scene."
03:48 "I like it. I did well."
03:50 But I'm not used to other people telling me that.
03:54 That there are a lot of people.
03:56 That's what I'm not used to.
03:58 That's why it's alien to me.
03:59 So when this happened, this awards night,
04:02 it's not just about who the people are.
04:04 What are they, Luis Guillen?
04:06 What are they, Luis?
04:07 And no, the Cinemalaya Awards is coveted by artists.
04:13 It's not just given.
04:16 The artists are really fighting for this.
04:19 Exactly, exactly.
04:22 So, it's the first time I've really won
04:27 and I've been acknowledged for my craft.
04:33 And it's new, it's overwhelming,
04:38 but it feels great to the point that,
04:43 "Wait, how is this? How is this?
04:47 How do you accept this huge award?"
04:51 My first reaction, being your kuya
04:54 and being somebody who followed your career,
04:56 it's about damn time, dude.
05:02 How did you accept that balangay?
05:04 At that moment?
05:08 At that moment, knowing that Luis Guillen was there.
05:12 Oh my God.
05:13 When I was in the car waiting,
05:14 I just thought, "Okay, if I ever win,
05:17 I need to thank him.
05:19 That's all, I guess.
05:20 And I'll just let it be."
05:22 But when I got there, it was also a bit of a pressure
05:24 because when Jazz Curtis was hosting,
05:29 he had a timer underneath him that said,
05:32 "Guys, in PICC, we'll only have 2 hours.
05:35 And I promise you,
05:36 our ceremony will be quick and easy.
05:38 You don't have to wait long."
05:40 So, if the winners may,
05:42 make their speech a bit shorter and sweeter
05:45 so that we'll have more on-time.
05:47 So, everyone who went up on stage,
05:49 they always said, "Thank you for everything.
05:52 Thank you so much."
05:53 That's all.
05:54 And some were a bit long,
05:56 "I can't do this without this, this, and that.
05:59 Thank you."
06:00 Others were like,
06:01 "I'll just post it on social media.
06:02 Bye-bye. Thank you."
06:03 That's how their awards were.
06:05 Until, here it is.
06:07 Category, "Best Actor."
06:08 I said, "Here it is. I can go home now."
06:11 "I hope I get to eat later."
06:13 Yes, you yourself.
06:15 "I hope I get to eat later."
06:16 I wanted to go home.
06:17 I drank a lot.
06:19 And before you say the winner,
06:22 the CITATION,
06:23 the CINEMALAYA CITATION,
06:24 you'll mention the description of the role.
06:26 So, "Playing the compelling role
06:29 of a predatory playboy, blah, blah, blah."
06:32 The description says,
06:34 "Direct-GN's dad,
06:36 he's two seats away from me,
06:39 he held my hand.
06:41 He said, 'Hey! Hey!'
06:43 Then I twisted my hand.
06:45 I was like, 'That's not me.
06:47 I haven't watched the other entries yet.
06:49 Maybe that's a different role.
06:50 Let's not do that.'"
06:51 So, it was like a slow-mo.
06:53 "Let's not do that. Wait a minute."
06:55 "Let's not do that.
06:57 Maybe there's a different playboy in the other entries.
06:59 We just don't know."
07:00 "Kanil is also a playboy."
07:02 "Okay."
07:04 Then suddenly,
07:07 "Mikoy Morales!"
07:09 Boom!
07:10 Everyone went crazy.
07:12 Everything was such a blur.
07:14 That's when I realized
07:16 why your ushers should be good
07:18 at such awards ceremonies.
07:20 I had to hold his hand
07:23 to go on stage.
07:25 He was surprised.
07:27 Our hands were like that.
07:29 He's a guy.
07:31 He was like,
07:32 "Sorry, bro. I'll just go on stage."
07:34 As in, blur.
07:36 Faces were blur.
07:38 Lights were a blur.
07:39 Everything.
07:40 When I got on stage,
07:41 what came to me was,
07:43 "Okay, there's a time limit.
07:44 You have to thank them now, Mikoy."
07:46 "Thank you. Thank you.
07:48 I'll remember everything. Thank you."
07:50 Then,
07:52 I was gone.
07:53 I was just playing backstage.
07:55 I was like, "What's happening?"
07:58 All the ushers were different.
08:00 Some were on stage,
08:01 some were backstage to a certain point.
08:03 Some were walking.
08:05 Each usher was different.
08:07 They were like, "Congratulations, sir.
08:09 We watched."
08:11 It was just floating.
08:12 Even during the interviews,
08:14 I was just floating.
08:15 Then,
08:16 when I got on stage,
08:17 Dolly De Leon was there.
08:18 Other winners were there.
08:20 I was like, "I'm dreaming."
08:22 You were in the league of Dolly.
08:26 And,
08:27 oh my gosh.
08:28 Right?
08:29 A lot of really great artists at that time.
08:33 Yes.
08:34 Yes.
08:35 It was amazing.
08:36 And knowing that the jury--
08:37 There's another time
08:39 a little bit after when I got out.
08:42 Uncle Gorgit was there.
08:44 He asked me,
08:47 "How do you feel that the judges unanimously decided
08:50 that you won?"
08:51 I said, "Ulul!"
08:54 He said, "No! It was unanimous.
08:57 This is Miss Shamane Buencamino."
08:59 I said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
09:01 It was unanimous?
09:03 It was true?
09:05 Apparently,
09:09 Shamane Buencamino--
09:10 I just remembered that the jury was Shamane Buencamino.
09:13 Neil Daza.
09:15 And I forgot.
09:16 I can't remember the others.
09:18 But Joey Reyes was there.
09:20 He was like, "Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous."
09:22 He said, "You did good."
09:25 And I was like, "I'm nervous."
09:26 He said, "Don't be."
09:27 I was like, "Don't be."
09:28 I was overthinking.
09:29 What does "Don't be" mean?
09:31 Does it mean I shouldn't hope?
09:32 Or am I okay?
09:34 What is that?
09:35 Why did he say, "Don't be"?
09:36 Something like that.
09:39 And then,
09:40 Derek Lloris,
09:41 NR.
09:42 Because even with Ate Ana,
09:44 she knew that I was Ate Ana's student.
09:46 She's her daughter.
09:47 So, she didn't give me any clue.
09:51 So, Ate Ana,
09:53 that day,
09:54 the time we were waiting in the car
09:56 before the awards night,
09:57 that's when my breakdown triggered.
09:59 She messaged me,
10:00 "Mikoy, whatever happens,
10:02 I'm proud of you.
10:03 You did your best.
10:05 And to all my students,
10:06 you're the most
10:09 persecutive and enthusiastic
10:11 in your craft that never stops.
10:14 And,
10:15 that's it.
10:16 You're my best actor.
10:18 And Tabecky also messaged me
10:20 that to all our experiences,
10:22 "Oh my God,
10:23 we've been together for 10 years
10:26 and finally, there's a first award."
10:28 It...
10:29 Those are the things that triggered me.
10:31 You know,
10:32 I find it that...
10:33 I really find it hard to believe
10:35 that this is your first award.
10:39 Why?
10:40 And you're a filmmaker.
10:42 You know,
10:43 I'll just inject this story.
10:46 There's this one particular project that you did.
10:49 Circus.
10:51 Circus, right.
10:52 Right.
10:53 I told you,
10:54 your scenes were good.
10:57 I noticed you.
11:00 And you were uneasy.
11:02 It's like...
11:03 No, okay.
11:05 I just let it pass, right?
11:07 You have a difficult time accepting
11:10 or acknowledging those kind of compliments, right?
11:14 Yes.
11:16 Why?
11:17 Like,
11:18 I think it's...
11:20 It's...
11:21 It's brought me angst.
11:23 Or...
11:24 Maybe it's...
11:26 the environment and the perspective
11:29 that I was used to
11:31 or I am used to.
11:33 It's like...
11:35 I don't feel sorry for it.
11:37 But...
11:38 It's just a fact that I'm used to
11:41 always being the second option.
11:43 It's like that.
11:44 I have that thing.
11:46 Since grade school,
11:48 since I was young,
11:49 I'm used to not being the first
11:52 and always being chosen.
11:54 It's like...
11:55 That's why I developed a Napoleon Complex.
11:58 I may not be the tallest
12:00 or the most handsome in the room.
12:02 I may not be the smart,
12:03 but I could be smart.
12:05 I may not be the smartest,
12:06 but I could be a bit athletic.
12:08 I could be not the most fit,
12:10 but at least I could do music.
12:13 It's like that.
12:14 There's always a justification
12:15 why I'm not the most fit
12:17 in the categories.
12:20 Because I really didn't fit in
12:22 with any group.
12:24 No.
12:25 Okay, Nikoy.
12:26 You're not in the mold.
12:29 The mold.
12:31 You know what I'm saying?
12:32 Yeah, right.
12:33 I can't categorize you
12:36 as one of them.
12:39 For me,
12:41 you have your own class.
12:43 I'd like to think that
12:45 because I work on that.
12:48 Yes, and I work on that.
12:49 Because it took a while
12:51 before I accepted what you're saying.
12:54 That maybe I don't have a category
12:58 that reached that.
13:00 But even if I do,
13:02 I still have a defense mechanism
13:04 that every time I would receive compliments,
13:07 I would either accept it
13:10 or I would go through it.
13:12 It goes way at the back of my ego.
13:15 It's just a stroke.
13:16 But it doesn't really go
13:18 where it's supposed to be.
13:19 It doesn't go to my real self-reassurance.
13:22 Because maybe it's just a precaution
13:28 because even if it's compliments or insults,
13:33 it goes somewhere.
13:35 So it became my defense mechanism
13:37 to just deflect or to just let it go.
13:41 Because even if it's compliments,
13:43 I would accept it.
13:44 I'm afraid that the next time
13:47 someone would say the opposite
13:49 that I'm being too harsh.
13:52 Regardless of what the press or critics say
13:55 or what the producers say.
13:57 I'm happy with what I'm doing.
13:59 I'm happy with it.
14:00 That's what I'm always thinking about.
14:03 Because before I did this interview,
14:05 I was doing my research.
14:06 I was looking for Mikoy's awards.
14:10 I didn't see anything.
14:14 So, didn't Google put it?
14:18 Or didn't IMDB put it?
14:22 No, there's really nothing.
14:25 I think I have more nominations
14:27 for musical scoring than acting.
14:29 There's really nothing.
14:32 Maybe, there's nothing.
14:35 Even nominations, there's nothing.
14:37 I don't remember anything.
14:38 So, I think it's just really,
14:44 it came at the right time.
14:45 Considering all the past few years
14:52 that I wasn't happy with my career.
14:55 There was a rollercoaster.
14:57 This is about Samba.
14:59 You told me,
15:00 "Kuya, P.I. 90% of the time,
15:05 I'm just plastered."
15:07 So, this is really...
15:09 I mean, 90% of the time,
15:11 on a shooting day,
15:14 I'm plastered.
15:15 I mean, all the time.
15:17 Because it chinked in one day,
15:19 all the intimate scenes.
15:22 So, we chinked in one day,
15:24 all the bed scenes.
15:26 How's that for you?
15:27 Like, you were naked the whole day?
15:30 Yeah.
15:33 There's plaster, that's all.
15:35 Actually, it's a makeshift plaster.
15:37 It's really hard.
15:39 So, we used napkins.
15:41 Like, the napkin of a woman.
15:43 Like that.
15:45 It's crossed like that.
15:46 It's placed there.
15:47 And then, a bunch of tapes.
15:49 So, it's not visible.
15:51 And that's it.
15:53 So, it's like, take.
15:55 After taking,
15:56 you know, it hurts.
15:57 There's a lot of tape.
15:58 So, when I remove it,
15:59 and I go back,
16:00 it's long.
16:01 So, I just sit around.
16:03 Sit around naked.
16:05 "Okay, get me a cup of coffee."
16:06 And then, you're naked.
16:08 I was drinking coffee like that.
16:11 It must be very uncomfortable, right?
16:13 For you.
16:15 Because the tapes are uncomfortable.
16:17 But in general,
16:19 I think I found it...
16:21 Liberating?
16:23 Liberating, yes.
16:24 I found it liberating.
16:25 To the point that,
16:27 it means that
16:28 the intimacy workshop we did was effective.
16:30 Because I felt that comfortable on set.
16:34 So, I was like, "Okay, fine."
16:37 What happens in an intimacy workshop?
16:41 Oh, intimacy workshop,
16:43 it's like...
16:44 You know, I have never seen one.
16:47 Of course, I've heard of it.
16:49 But I don't know what's happening in there.
16:51 Well, just like in some acting workshops,
16:54 there are workshops that specialize
16:56 in these kinds of scenes.
16:59 But in acting workshops,
17:02 you're the only actors there.
17:04 So, when you get to the set,
17:06 sometimes, it is not fully translated
17:10 what the limitations and boundaries are.
17:12 Because they don't have a workshop.
17:15 So, in the intimacy workshop,
17:17 this was done with the director,
17:19 my co-actor, and the producer.
17:21 So that it's set.
17:22 The goal is to set your boundaries.
17:26 You can't remove the...
17:29 "Why can't I get it again if I didn't do it?"
17:32 Or remove the...
17:33 "Maybe they'll think I'm KJ."
17:34 "Maybe they'll think I'm a pervert."
17:37 Or things like that.
17:39 So that it's comfortable to say no.
17:43 And to say that...
17:45 "If I did this..."
17:46 There's this person called Miss Missy Maramara.
17:49 She did the intimacy workshop with me.
17:51 She studies this abroad,
17:52 and then she brings it here.
17:54 There's this thing called "sugat."
17:57 As pleasers, sometimes,
17:59 as actors on set,
18:01 you want to please the directors,
18:02 the producers, and all.
18:04 We say yes to things,
18:06 even if we know afterwards
18:08 it might scar us.
18:10 And these scars can accumulate.
18:12 It can become trauma.
18:14 So that's where it becomes worrying.
18:17 You have to take note of this.
18:19 We can say, "Okay, let's do it now."
18:23 But when you go home,
18:24 will you regret what you did?
18:26 Do you have regrets?
18:27 Even if it's a little,
18:29 it will accumulate.
18:30 And then you'll lose trust on set.
18:34 It's harder to act because you're not relaxed.
18:36 You'll lose that trust even in succeeding projects.
18:39 Yeah, even in succeeding projects.
18:41 Like trauma, whatever that is.
18:43 Right, right.
18:44 Plus, the director and producer are there.
18:48 So we don't have to go on set
18:49 and explain ourselves to the producers
18:51 because they were doing the workshops with us already.
18:53 So it's clear that when it comes to the set,
18:56 Missy was there.
18:57 Thank you.
18:59 Missy was there,
19:00 and the producers and the producer,
19:03 just one, and the director,
19:05 they set it up so that there are only two people.
19:08 Cameraman, focus puller, and assistant director.
19:11 There were three.
19:12 And then the director, and then us, and Missy.
19:14 Then our choreograph, we were taking our time.
19:16 It's not like, "Hurry up! What time is it?
19:18 We have a lot to finish."
19:19 It's not like that.
19:20 We were really taking our time.
19:22 And then Missy was talking to the cameramen one by one.
19:25 Sometimes, even the simple, slight comments,
19:32 like, "Oh, there, there, there."
19:34 Those things, that you can hear them talking,
19:36 it can cause an unsafe feeling.
19:39 Discomfort.
19:40 And you feel like someone is looking at you.
19:43 That's the process, from the workshop
19:46 to the very facilitating of that intimacy.
19:48 It's just a matter of giving importance
19:52 that it really comes from the facilitator
19:54 and not from the actors themselves.
19:56 Because sometimes, when it comes from the actors,
19:58 the attitude is overshadowed or it's artificial.
20:00 So it's nice that there's someone
20:02 who's really specialized to state these things.
20:05 It's like, "This is my profession.
20:06 This is how it should be.
20:07 This is how it shouldn't be.
20:08 This is where it's comfortable.
20:09 This is where it's uncomfortable."
20:11 "Alright, let's do this."
20:12 So it's clear to everyone, even the DOP,
20:15 even the light person or whatever.
20:19 It's clear to everyone that this is work.
20:23 We are not here to pleasure ourselves.
20:27 Yes, exactly.
20:28 I'm following this woman on IG.
20:32 She explains everything that's happening
20:35 in an intimate scene.
20:37 And she debunked the idea that
20:42 it's not sexually pleasurable
20:46 for everyone in the set.
20:48 It should look sexually pleasurable on camera,
20:53 but not for the actors,
20:56 but not for the people around.
20:59 So it's really great.
21:02 I was like, "Yes, it's true."
21:05 Because we think of it as moviegoers,
21:10 as people who watch that intimate scene.
21:13 "Hey, Mikoy is feeling it."
21:17 But when you see it, it's so far away.
21:21 It's just a camera trick.
21:25 But it looks like you're in the heat of the moment.
21:29 Because as actors, you have to show it.
21:32 Yes, it's choreographed.
21:35 It's choreographed, actually,
21:36 what the positions are, how close you are.
21:39 How you'll be shy because there are towels
21:41 or sometimes pillows in between our genitalia.
21:44 So it's not necessary.
21:45 Because that's what my partner doesn't know.
21:49 And for me, it's like,
21:51 "Don't hit my egg."
21:53 It's like that.
21:55 So that's on the list.
21:57 That's on the list of do's and don'ts for us.
21:59 For me, just don't bring your face close to my feet
22:02 and don't hit my egg.
22:04 The rest is okay.
22:05 Why?
22:06 I'm just curious.
22:07 I'm conscious of my feet because
22:09 since I was a kid,
22:11 my feet looked like hobbits' feet.
22:14 So I don't like it.
22:16 Is it hot? Can you see your feet?
22:18 Here.
22:19 Don't!
22:22 No, not at all.
22:23 I'm insecure about my feet.
22:24 So I don't like it when they get close
22:27 and I don't want to touch them.
22:28 So that's it.
22:29 But yeah, it's choreographed.
22:31 And then,
22:32 what's nice about it is
22:34 because it's choreographed,
22:35 what's left for me to do
22:37 is not to think,
22:39 "Wait, are you uncomfortable with my partner?
22:42 Is this okay for you?"
22:43 Nothing.
22:44 Because it's already given.
22:45 We already prepared it.
22:46 So what's left for me to do is just really
22:48 get in the moment
22:50 and feel it.
22:52 In these intimate scenes,
22:54 did your girlfriend get jealous?
22:57 She wasn't jealous.
23:00 She wasn't jealous.
23:01 So there's no anti-jealous dance?
23:04 None.
23:05 She didn't consult with Jack Roberto.
23:10 No.
23:11 She didn't do a JRU.
23:14 She didn't do a JRU.
23:18 But she got uncomfortable with the thought.
23:22 To be honest.
23:24 Did she watch the film?
23:26 Not yet.
23:27 That's it.
23:28 Oh, not yet?
23:29 I don't take that against her.
23:30 She said that she can't watch the premiere
23:34 because she's under pressure because of the premiere.
23:37 And she knows that she's my girlfriend.
23:39 My family is there.
23:40 My other friends are there.
23:42 And she knows that
23:44 they're going to be asking her questions.
23:46 And she didn't like the pressure.
23:48 Plus, she's not an artist.
23:51 She didn't not understand it.
23:55 But she was just like,
23:57 "Give me time and give me space."
23:59 I can fully accept it.
24:01 Let's keep it plain and simple.
24:02 She doesn't understand it now.
24:04 Because you said that she's not an artist.
24:06 Yes.
24:07 Actually, when we started filming,
24:09 she understood it now.
24:10 And she knows her boundaries.
24:12 Like in her intimacy workshop.
24:14 She knows her boundaries.
24:15 She knows how far she can go
24:17 in my work.
24:19 So, I think,
24:21 she'll watch the next screening.
24:24 But, I get it.
24:27 I'll ask you this.
24:29 When is the screening?
24:30 Because I promised you that I'll watch this.
24:33 Right.
24:34 I told you that,
24:36 "Mikoy, I don't think I can watch this."
24:39 I'll give it to you.
24:40 No.
24:41 No.
24:42 When we saw it on set,
24:45 I told you that it's tasteful.
24:49 It's not like porn BL levels.
24:53 It's not like that.
24:54 It was really tasteful.
24:55 The reason why I accepted the project
24:59 was not because it's daring.
25:01 It's not like that.
25:02 It was just used for marketing.
25:03 But it's really like a relationship-centered film.
25:07 And you just need to do the other love scenes
25:11 just to further the story.
25:14 So, it's a deeper take.
25:17 Yes.
25:18 It's not just a meme.
25:20 It needs to be shown.
25:22 Because it's part of the concept.
25:24 So, it is very tasteful.
25:26 But I think we're doing a round of festivals first
25:30 before we go in.
25:31 You'll bring this to an international film festival?
25:35 I hope so.
25:36 And I think so.
25:37 I heard that one of the producers or the guests
25:41 from a different country, Cinemalaya,
25:43 specifically asked for our film.
25:46 Our film is one of three films out of the entries
25:50 that they got that they want to showcase abroad.
25:53 And then we submitted to other festivals then.
25:56 And I hope I'll be able to fly to that festival.
26:01 Why not?
26:02 I hope they'll send me.
26:03 Yes.
26:04 I'm sure after this airs,
26:07 we'll have to update this
26:10 because you're not just holding a balanghay.
26:12 It's delicious, right?
26:15 It's delicious.
26:16 I don't have anything to put it in.
26:19 You already removed the ones behind you.
26:23 Can you not give me awards yet?
26:26 Because my shelf is full.
26:28 When I renovate my house again.
26:30 Because that's how big your shelf is.
26:33 Just one.
26:34 But you're playing here a role of a playboy.
26:40 How close are you to your real life?
26:44 Yeah.
26:45 Actually, I don't know how that term "playboy" came up.
26:50 It's an old term.
26:51 I mean, it's not a playboy.
26:53 Because playboy, you'll think of it like,
26:55 "Hey, come here.
26:57 Hey, there are chicks.
26:58 There are a lot of girls."
26:59 It's not like that.
27:00 It's not even promiscuous.
27:05 But he's just really liberated.
27:07 Like, "I'm not in a relationship.
27:10 So I can just talk with people."
27:12 "Why do I have to hurry?"
27:14 So, yeah.
27:15 But he has scapegoats.
27:18 And he has tricks or style
27:21 to pick up people, pick up women.
27:24 And then, it works.
27:27 He has charm.
27:30 But these are all band-aids to him
27:33 because he has things that are not addressed to his self.
27:36 And that's how he gets along.
27:38 That's how he copes up.
27:39 It's like a hole he's digging.
27:43 That's why every night, he goes out,
27:45 brings home different people, and so on.
27:47 And then, he suddenly goes to a relationship
27:51 where he's like, "Wait.
27:53 Do I like this or not?
27:55 Or do I still have a choice?"
27:56 But he's already here.
27:57 Because he's not used to committing.
27:59 And that's where it happened.
28:00 That's where the story went around.
28:02 So, it's really far from real life.
28:04 Nothing to do with your life.
28:06 You're not related.
28:08 To be honest, I'm related.
28:10 I have a face like that.
28:12 Do you?
28:13 Yeah.
28:14 Do you?
28:15 I do.
28:17 You do?
28:18 Because it's okay.
28:19 I feel like you shouldn't be shunning that.
28:22 Because, again, you're not married
28:23 or you're not in a relationship.
28:25 So, yeah, right.
28:27 What's stopping you from exploring?
28:29 But, I think the key there is
28:33 you should not lose the awareness
28:36 of how my character lost his awareness
28:39 in this film.
28:40 There should always be that awareness
28:42 that I know this is temporary.
28:45 I know I won't be good at this in the long run.
28:47 I know eventually, I would want to settle down maybe.
28:50 But, I won't get it if I keep doing this.
28:53 So, that awareness,
28:55 I hope they don't lose it
28:59 when they see the role.
29:01 You know, what I think of you,
29:03 this is just a personal take.
29:05 You matured over the years.
29:08 And, not just in being an actor,
29:14 but the way you deal with people
29:17 and the way you talk with people.
29:19 And, I'm sure your past relationships
29:22 helped you to be the better person
29:28 that you are now.
29:30 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:32 Would you agree?
29:33 I agree. 100%.
29:35 Like, I think it's just sad to think sometimes
29:42 that I had to learn all those things
29:46 in the expense of hurting another person.
29:49 That I can't avoid.
29:51 And, I think it's the same for me.
29:53 But, in the end, there's still...
29:57 Are we talking about a specific...
29:59 Are we thinking about the same thing?
30:01 There's no other ex.
30:03 It's just one.
30:05 There's no other serious relationship.
30:09 I'll just name it.
30:11 It's okay.
30:13 Of course, I know that it was a serious relationship
30:18 between you and Teya.
30:19 And, you were there too.
30:20 I was there.
30:21 I was there.
30:22 To the "Iyakhan Blues"
30:25 that never made it to the news.
30:29 Because, I love you both.
30:31 But, how are you and Teya now?
30:33 Ah.
30:35 We talk when we meet.
30:39 But, we don't see each other anymore.
30:41 But, it's okay.
30:42 It's okay now.
30:43 Like, both of you have moved on.
30:47 Both of you have acknowledged that, of course,
30:51 our relationship failed.
30:53 But, it doesn't necessarily mean that
30:55 we'll fail as friends.
30:57 Yeah.
30:58 Well, at first, that's what happened.
31:00 That's what we talked about.
31:02 There's also...
31:03 After the breakup, there were times
31:04 when we still talked.
31:05 And, that's one of the things we talked about before.
31:09 Like, it was a good...
31:11 Our last breakup was really good.
31:13 It was like we became mutual.
31:15 How many breakups did you have?
31:17 Maybe, three.
31:20 This is Alden's book, right?
31:22 Alden's book.
31:23 Five breakups.
31:24 (Laughs)
31:26 Yeah.
31:27 But, it was just three with us.
31:30 It didn't reach the quota.
31:32 It didn't reach the movie.
31:34 It can't make a movie story.
31:36 It's just three.
31:37 But, I think the last...
31:38 Three or four, I'm not sure.
31:40 The last one was a good one.
31:42 It was like, "It's okay.
31:44 It's okay."
31:45 It became mature.
31:46 It was like, "It's okay.
31:47 Let's just stay here."
31:49 And, if you want to be better,
31:52 and we want that for the both of us,
31:54 not just for ourselves,
31:55 I also want that for him,
31:56 he wants that for me,
31:57 in order to do that,
31:58 we had to not be together.
32:01 It's like there are things like that.
32:02 You see, that's a perfect example.
32:05 I always say that.
32:06 Like, in a breakup,
32:08 there's nothing bad sometimes.
32:10 I mean, usually,
32:12 there's nothing bad.
32:13 Like, both of you are good people.
32:15 You and Thea,
32:17 both of you are really good people.
32:18 I know you personally.
32:19 You're both the same.
32:20 You're both kind.
32:22 You're both loving people.
32:24 It's just, yeah.
32:25 Because we tried to...
32:27 We did try.
32:28 We tried for a long time.
32:29 But, with those years...
32:31 You've been in four breakups,
32:33 Chep?
32:34 Yes. Like, seven years.
32:35 Seven years.
32:36 We've been together for seven years.
32:37 So, it just boiled down to,
32:40 "Okay, so, you're really young.
32:43 We tried.
32:44 And we can only do so much."
32:46 For me, we tried.
32:47 And I can only do so much with me.
32:49 Maybe we'll be more free
32:51 to do these things
32:53 if we're not in each other's picture.
32:58 So, no one would think that
33:00 maybe you're not okay with this.
33:01 Maybe you'll just get hurt.
33:03 That's how it was.
33:05 It was from the get-go.
33:08 We knew that
33:10 we were in a relationship
33:12 at an early stage in our lives.
33:14 I think I said that at some point.
33:16 If your relationship happened now,
33:20 it would have lasted.
33:21 Or it would have worked.
33:23 Because you went through a lot.
33:26 You were still young.
33:29 You didn't really...
33:31 In the relationship,
33:33 you didn't grow.
33:35 You were both young.
33:36 I feel like you were just playing.
33:38 You were trying to be serious.
33:41 To be serious.
33:42 True.
33:43 True.
33:44 He had that factor.
33:45 He had those feelings.
33:46 But, especially at that time,
33:49 the good thing was
33:50 we were both aware
33:52 that it was too early
33:55 to prioritize this relationship.
33:57 Career first, more than anything.
33:59 And self first, more than anything.
34:01 If you have something to do
34:03 in work or career
34:05 that you feel will hurt me,
34:06 do it.
34:07 Because...
34:08 How can I support you?
34:11 Or how can you support me?
34:13 It's too early to dictate
34:15 what we want.
34:16 We were still figuring out things.
34:18 What do we want in our career?
34:20 What path do we want?
34:21 What work do we want?
34:22 What class, what projects do we want?
34:24 We were still feeling all of that.
34:26 We didn't want the relationship
34:27 to get in the way.
34:28 So, number one for us,
34:30 ever since we started
34:32 until we finished,
34:33 is that we knew
34:36 if we were made to do,
34:38 or if we had to do greater things
34:40 than our relationship,
34:42 we should do it.
34:44 So, it reached that point
34:46 where we both felt that
34:48 I think this is the last great thing
34:50 we can do for each other.
34:51 To just prioritize fully
34:55 what we want for ourselves.
34:56 Do you see yourself working with Teya?
34:59 Yeah, why not?
35:00 I worked with him in the locker room
35:02 for a time.
35:03 He was our guest.
35:04 Yeah, why not?
35:06 Was it comfortable
35:07 when you were on set together again?
35:10 At first, it wasn't.
35:12 Because it was new to me
35:14 that I wouldn't see him in the flesh.
35:17 After, what, months?
35:19 A year?
35:20 I wasn't sure.
35:22 But, yeah, it was almost a pandemic.
35:25 Then it suddenly got better.
35:26 I saw him for the first time.
35:27 It was kind of uncomfortable
35:29 because we were being teased
35:31 and it reached a point
35:33 where Teya and I were like,
35:34 "Won't your jokes run out on us?"
35:36 You always tease us.
35:40 And then, sometimes,
35:42 there are scenes where you say,
35:44 "You hurt someone."
35:45 And I'm like, "Do you really want to know
35:47 what really happened?"
35:48 "Should I tell you everything?"
35:51 That's the bad part.
35:53 When you say those words,
35:55 "Do you want to know what really happened?"
35:57 It feels like Teya is the bad guy.
36:00 Yeah, he's the bad guy.
36:02 But it's not like that.
36:03 It's just us.
36:04 I think we don't need to explain it.
36:08 It's over.
36:09 You don't owe it.
36:11 You don't owe anyone
36:12 what the real reason is.
36:14 Exactly.
36:15 I will move on from Teya.
36:18 Okay, sure.
36:19 Because we'll talk a lot about Teya.
36:22 Because I love you both,
36:25 I'll move on.
36:26 Let's talk about your role
36:28 in "Maging Sino Ka Man."
36:30 Okay.
36:31 This is very exciting.
36:33 You told me that
36:35 that was the role of Dennis Padilla before.
36:38 And it's a very funny role.
36:41 I know you're going to bring in
36:43 some comic relief.
36:44 Well, yeah.
36:46 That's true.
36:47 Comic relief.
36:48 Because Direk Enzo always points out
36:51 that if you watch "Maging Sino Ka Man"
36:53 by Robin,
36:54 if you take out Dennis from it,
36:56 it's really a dark movie.
36:58 It's really dark.
37:00 That's what makes it light.
37:02 Their tandem,
37:04 Robin and Dennis.
37:05 So, in a way,
37:07 he modernized it.
37:08 We modernized it.
37:09 How a group like that
37:12 with a tandem,
37:14 how are they today?
37:15 What's the culture of that group today?
37:18 It's more adapted to
37:22 how the world is today.
37:24 So, it's a modernized version of
37:27 "Maging Sino Ka Man."
37:30 Yes, modernized.
37:31 That's what's tricky
37:33 and what made Direk careful with it.
37:36 He made sure,
37:37 Direk and the writers,
37:39 and us,
37:40 that both viewers will still enjoy it.
37:44 Those who watched the original movie
37:46 would see that
37:48 this is the current version.
37:51 This is the old version.
37:53 It's different.
37:54 But at the same time,
37:56 the twists and flavors
37:59 that we added,
38:00 I think it's still heavily incorporated
38:02 in a way that
38:04 it's just a complement
38:07 that we added the old ones.
38:10 But did you get
38:13 the tandem
38:16 of David and you?
38:18 I think so, at this point.
38:21 We've been taping for a while.
38:24 It was hard to get a start.
38:27 Although David's a nice guy,
38:29 I've never worked with him before.
38:31 So, it was my first time
38:34 to talk to him for a long time.
38:36 It was my first time
38:38 to have a full conversation with him.
38:40 And it was my first time
38:42 to work with Seth.
38:43 So, there was that kind of interaction.
38:45 But now,
38:46 it's easier.
38:50 It's easier now.
38:51 There's no cold air.
38:55 There's no wall.
38:58 There's no wall.
39:00 Enough for the scenes to work.
39:02 But you're all praises
39:05 to Barbie Forteza.
39:07 Of course.
39:09 I'm teasing him
39:10 that I'm putting my picture
39:12 next to his picture
39:13 as if I won the cinema award.
39:18 But it's true.
39:20 I think Barbie is one of our prime stars
39:24 for a reason.
39:25 I agree.
39:26 We have some questions here.
39:29 Please answer briefly.
39:31 Is this a class?
39:33 This is love advice.
39:35 From Mr. Searching,
39:37 "I have a really hard time with women.
39:41 I'm trying to find the one
39:44 but I'm always late for dates.
39:47 I have been told
39:48 that I come off too intense.
39:51 But I just want to know
39:53 if we're compatible.
39:55 I have a lot of bad experiences
39:57 with my ex-girlfriends
39:59 so I don't want to get hurt again.
40:01 I guess I have low self-esteem now.
40:04 I don't know how this can be improved.
40:07 Help."
40:08 Oh, wow.
40:09 Well, number one,
40:11 have you explored your preferences?
40:14 Maybe because he said
40:16 that he has a hard time with women.
40:18 Have you tried it with men?
40:20 Are you open enough to do that?
40:22 I mean, I don't think you have.
40:24 I don't think you have.
40:25 But also,
40:27 if you do come off as intense,
40:31 I think maybe you should try
40:34 listening more than finding out.
40:39 Maybe you should listen more
40:41 if you want to know
40:42 if you're compatible.
40:43 Then listen more instead of asking more.
40:46 Maybe you'll discover more about that person.
40:50 And about yourself.
40:51 And about yourself, right.
40:53 Because it's often overlooked
40:55 that listening is really a skill.
40:58 When you listen not to respond
41:01 but to listen just listening.
41:03 We're used to
41:05 listening to each other
41:07 and not finish talking.
41:08 We have something
41:09 that we'll answer.
41:11 But if we don't,
41:13 I think some people
41:15 who oversee that
41:17 or who overlook that
41:19 would be surprised
41:20 at what they'll get from that person
41:22 just by listening.
41:24 You surprised me.
41:25 That's a good objective.
41:31 I'll give it to you.
41:33 Okay, number two from Mr. Tired.
41:35 What can I do for my wife?
41:37 I work 10 hours a day.
41:40 I need to discipline my annoying kids
41:42 before I go home.
41:44 The last thing I want
41:46 after a busy day
41:47 is to listen to my wife's complaints.
41:50 How can I get her to give me a break?
41:53 Well...
41:54 It's complicated.
41:55 You have a kid.
41:56 Yes, but the first thing I felt
41:58 and thought when she mentioned it
42:00 was like, I want that.
42:02 I'm looking forward to having that.
42:04 To having those kind of problems.
42:06 That stress.
42:07 That kind of stress.
42:08 Of course, when you're going home,
42:10 it's a perspective
42:12 that you're going home.
42:14 At least you're going home.
42:16 I'm just dreaming about you.
42:18 But not about me, about you.
42:20 That's a good point.
42:22 Maybe Mr. Tired is not actually
42:25 counting his blessings.
42:27 Some people would just dream
42:30 of the life he's having right now.
42:32 But he thinks that's tiring.
42:37 Yes, it's true.
42:38 But you have to be yourself.
42:40 So I think it should be well communicated
42:42 with your spouse or with your partner.
42:44 Whoever it is.
42:45 Like, wait, can I sleep in the other room tonight?
42:49 Not because I don't want you.
42:51 That's hard because you're always home.
42:53 Why? Don't you love me anymore?
42:55 But if that's what you need,
42:57 if you need to feel like you're alone again,
43:00 take a breather.
43:01 Take one for the team.
43:02 And the next time your partner needs that too,
43:04 you're the one to go.
43:05 I'm the one to go to the kids.
43:07 Go, like, stay overnight, check in anywhere,
43:09 sleep in your old house with your parents or whatever.
43:13 Like, small things like that.
43:15 I think it's not really a thing in our culture in general.
43:19 In the Philippines, we're always like,
43:21 "Family, family, family!"
43:23 That's how family-oriented we are.
43:25 But it's silly.
43:26 We forget that we have to have "me times."
43:29 We have to dictate ourselves.
43:31 Sometimes, it's like a break away from kids.
43:35 Like, we'll bring our kids to their grandmothers or aunties,
43:40 and then we'll go on a date.
43:42 Because sometimes, that's what a husband lacks.
43:44 Yes.
43:45 They think that the problem is that our income is not enough.
43:50 I have cousins like that.
43:52 Our salary is not enough,
43:54 that's why we're so hot-headed because we're stressed at work.
43:56 Like, no, maybe you haven't had sex in a long time.
44:00 Maybe that's it.
44:02 Or not necessarily sex, but anything intimate.
44:05 That's why you became a monogamous, a partner in life.
44:08 Because you know, you feel that this person can make you feel love,
44:13 seen, and liked for who you are.
44:18 That's why you became partners because you'll do it to each other.
44:21 How are you going to do that if you won't let yourselves do that to each other?
44:25 So, you'll make them feel that they still like you.
44:29 And if not...
44:31 There's also a contradiction.
44:33 Some people are just physical intimacy, but...
44:35 It's lacking in intellectual intimacy.
44:38 Or emotional intimacy.
44:40 When was the last time you talked about your dreams with me?
44:43 When was the last time you talked about your goals with me?
44:45 When was the last time you shared your...
44:47 Earlier, you talked about my parents,
44:49 and you weren't happy with them,
44:51 but you didn't open up to me.
44:53 I want that connection.
44:55 To accumulate sex.
44:57 Now, let's go to the deepest third question.
44:59 Okay, game.
45:01 Coming from Miss Help.
45:03 Does following your ex on social media count as cheating?
45:08 I'm happily married to a kind, sweet, and loving man.
45:13 We've been married for 13 years.
45:15 But I find myself looking on social media at photos of my ex-boyfriend.
45:21 Someone whom I met first through my husband.
45:25 Sometimes, I want to message my ex to say hi.
45:28 But it doesn't continue because I have to remind myself that my husband might get hurt.
45:34 Is this emotional cheating?
45:37 I don't think it's cheating yet.
45:40 I don't think it's cheating yet because he hasn't done anything about it yet.
45:45 But...
45:47 I feel like...
45:49 My take on that cheating in terms of...
45:51 With ex.
45:53 Even if it's not with your ex.
45:55 Cheating is like...
45:58 Knowing...
46:00 What...
46:03 Knowing the threshold of pain of your partner and still going beyond it.
46:08 And that threshold varies per person.
46:11 Like...
46:13 Some people are okay with cheating.
46:15 I mean, not cheating.
46:17 Some people are okay with...
46:19 There are specifics.
46:21 Define your threshold when it comes to cheating.
46:24 Yeah, define your threshold.
46:25 It varies per couple.
46:27 It varies.
46:28 For me, I might get hurt.
46:30 This is not true.
46:31 This is just an example.
46:32 I might get hurt if I go out for dinner with just a guy.
46:37 But if you hook up with someone, it's okay.
46:40 That's just an example.
46:41 It's not true.
46:42 But that's my threshold.
46:44 And if it's the other way around, that's also your threshold.
46:47 Now for me, cheating is knowing the threshold and still going beyond it.
46:52 So...
46:53 There are a lot of people like that.
46:55 When they start, they go...
46:57 Why don't I take it as in the higher?
46:59 Because that's human nature.
47:02 Yeah, it's like reverse psychology.
47:05 Like, "Ah, what should I do?"
47:07 But I think it's...
47:09 I think it still boils down to you communicating with your partner.
47:12 And ask your partner if it's okay to do that.
47:15 Because if you, number one, don't have the intention to follow your ex
47:20 and you don't have the intention to go back to him
47:23 or if he still likes you,
47:25 I mean, if you're sure that you have a clean intention
47:28 that you can stay friends with that person,
47:30 then tell your partner.
47:32 And ask him if it's okay.
47:34 If not, try to figure out why.
47:37 Where does that come from?
47:38 Do you have trust issues?
47:39 And then you weigh.
47:40 The more you weigh,
47:41 it's more important to me that my ex and I still be friends
47:45 and he's hurt.
47:46 Or we just try to address my partner's trust issues little by little.
47:51 And I'll just leave the picture
47:52 because it'll be more confusing if I follow my ex
47:54 because nothing will be lost from me.
47:55 Like, I think it's just about getting together.
47:57 But some people follow you like,
47:59 "Hmm, you can't be happy as long as I'm not happy."
48:02 That's different.
48:03 That's a different purpose.
48:05 That's a different purpose.
48:07 If that helps you cope, then it's okay.
48:10 But I think it's really a matter of communicating your thresholds with your partner.
48:14 What's okay with him, what's not okay with him.
48:17 And then don't go beyond that.
48:19 If you think you're going to do something that's going to go beyond that,
48:22 still communicate that,
48:23 "Wait, maybe you'll get hurt because of what I'm going to do.
48:25 Is it okay?"
48:26 The key is communication.
48:27 It's just the truth.
48:28 It's communication.
48:29 Yes.
48:30 Because aside from communication,
48:32 because of course, I can't admit this in front of my husband,
48:37 I'm really jealous.
48:38 I'm super jealous.
48:39 Like, I have two questions.
48:46 If I'm going to do it or not.
48:48 Like, number one,
48:50 if I find out that my husband did this to me,
48:55 will I get hurt?
48:57 So, if I think that I won't get hurt,
49:01 I'll do it.
49:03 Because for sure, it's harmless.
49:08 And two,
49:09 if he finds out,
49:11 will he get hurt?
49:13 Right, right.
49:15 I get it.
49:16 Right.
49:17 I get the two.
49:20 If he finds out, will he get hurt?
49:22 Because I think, personally,
49:26 the first one that you said,
49:28 if he did this to me,
49:30 will I get hurt?
49:32 Because I think that's very considerate and sensitive.
49:39 I mean, it's a good thing, really, that he did that.
49:42 But I think it could also be a trigger or a tool
49:48 to go to...
49:51 You're two different people.
49:53 Like, he can do something to hurt you.
49:56 You may finish each other's sentences,
49:59 but you're not the same person.
50:01 Right.
50:02 You're not the same person.
50:04 That's why you really need to communicate.
50:06 By the way, I have a question for you.
50:09 Did you admit earlier that you're jealous?
50:13 No, it's not on record.
50:15 It's a joke.
50:16 I mean, knowing that you have that tendency,
50:23 have you ever tried to find out why?
50:30 Yeah.
50:31 Really? What did you come up with?
50:34 It dates back from my childhood days.
50:38 Because...
50:44 Like, like you,
50:48 I'm always the second choice.
50:50 I'm always the second good person.
50:54 I'm always never good enough.
50:56 Like that.
50:58 I gave everything I had in dancing,
51:02 but I have a cousin who's better at dancing.
51:05 I gave everything I had in singing,
51:08 but I have a cousin who's better at singing.
51:11 It's always like that.
51:12 It's always...
51:13 So, it's so hard to win the love of people.
51:19 It's really very hard.
51:21 And I found out along the way
51:24 that you don't really have to win it.
51:26 It's going to be given to you in your time,
51:30 in his time.
51:31 In his time, right.
51:33 So, you had a time that you felt that
51:36 consistently you had to fight for the love.
51:40 Like that.
51:41 I get that.
51:43 And almost all of my relationships,
51:46 man, I'm telling you,
51:47 I had lots of relationships,
51:49 failed relationships.
51:50 And it's always that.
51:52 It's always inter...
51:56 It's always like he's always icing jealousy.
51:59 So, it's that.
52:00 I get that.
52:01 It's because of insecurity, right?
52:03 And you know what?
52:04 I'm really proud to say,
52:06 the person I'm with right now,
52:08 we've been married five years
52:10 and we've been going on almost ten years
52:13 and we never had a problem with jealousy.
52:17 The only person that I was with,
52:20 that I am with,
52:22 I never had a problem with jealousy.
52:26 I was trusting him with all my being
52:31 and I think he's doing the same thing.
52:34 Because at the end of the day,
52:36 we're together because we like torturing each other.
52:40 We like torturing each other with the truth.
52:44 Yeah, yeah.
52:45 We never...
52:46 The taboo thing with us,
52:48 yes, sugarcoating,
52:50 the taboo thing with us,
52:51 because I think we're both intelligent people.
52:53 Right.
52:54 If you don't get that, you lose.
52:56 Sorry.
52:57 If you're going around,
52:59 it's insulting.
53:00 Do you think I won't get it?
53:01 Exactly.
53:02 We've had a lot of fights like that.
53:04 Don't make me look stupid.
53:06 You can just say that.
53:09 So, it's always like that.
53:11 So, we developed that thing
53:13 where we say it
53:16 instead of it becoming a problem.
53:21 Because anything and everything in this world
53:24 has a potential to be a problem.
53:26 Right, right.
53:27 You know, I always end this podcast
53:35 with me turning the tables around
53:40 and you're the one asking.
53:41 We call that segment "Ask Nelson."
53:43 This is your Ask Nelson.
53:44 Oh, okay.
53:45 That's it.
53:46 You might get asked.
53:48 You might get scared.
53:49 But no, it's true.
53:53 It's true.
53:54 Your points are good.
53:57 And I totally agree.
53:58 Like, communication is the key.
54:01 That's like love, trust, peace.
54:08 That's what binds us.
54:11 Because how can you make that person feel love
54:15 if you're not communicating love?
54:18 How can you have understanding
54:22 if you do not communicate understanding with the person?
54:25 It's always that bearer.
54:26 He's like the messenger
54:33 if you want to get something.
54:36 You have to communicate.
54:38 Yeah, yeah.
54:39 Because these things,
54:40 the values you mentioned,
54:42 like understanding, the trust, and the love,
54:44 these things aren't given.
54:46 These are things you work for and do.
54:50 It's not like, "Okay, we're a couple now,
54:52 so there's love and understanding and trust."
54:54 Not necessarily.
54:55 It should be constantly communicated and expressed.
55:01 And I think we have a culture
55:04 where it's easy to assume.
55:07 Because we're not very straightforward.
55:11 We're too polite.
55:12 And we're too considerate.
55:17 Because we were raised to be told,
55:19 "If you answer, you're wrong.
55:21 Don't answer the elderly."
55:23 So now that we're old,
55:25 we're used to not communicating
55:28 because we might get scolded.
55:30 But that thing really gets in the way
55:33 of you communicating
55:34 what you're feeling.
55:37 And for the other person,
55:39 not to take it against you
55:40 that it's not bad.
55:41 Just tell me everything.
55:43 That's also how my relationship started.
55:46 That's why we became best friends.
55:51 That's why we fell in love.
55:53 Because we tell each other everything.
55:55 So why does that have to stop?
55:58 It shouldn't.
55:59 And I get so mad at him.
56:02 I don't want to tell him
56:03 because I know he'll get hurt.
56:05 Duh!
56:06 The mere fact that you hid it,
56:08 he won't get hurt.
56:09 That's true.
56:10 And when you have to do it anyway,
56:12 you know he'll get hurt.
56:14 And take the first step.
56:16 Just know that I'll always tell the truth.
56:20 I will not hide anything from you.
56:22 So when you get used to it,
56:24 it's easy.
56:26 When you get home,
56:27 you'll be like, "I ran into my ex."
56:29 That's how it is.
56:31 Micoy, thank you very much.
56:32 Thank you for the wonderful time.
56:34 I super enjoyed it.
56:35 Me too.
56:37 I'll see you very soon.
56:38 I'll see you.
56:40 Alright.
56:41 ♪♪♪