"Modern Family" wasn't afraid to get real. For this list, we’ll be looking at the sitcom’s most emotional and hard-to-digest moments.
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00:00 "That's what kids do, they leave, they leave and they don't come back."
00:04 "Oh, ours will come back, right?"
00:07 Welcome to Ms. Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the top 20 times
00:11 Modern Family got real.
00:13 "That felt good, didn't it?"
00:14 "Wow."
00:15 "I know, they just want therapy."
00:19 For this list, we're looking at the sitcom's most emotional and hard to digest moments.
00:24 Which of these scenes hit you the hardest? Let us know in the comments.
00:28 Number 20 - Jay's sacrifices for his family
00:31 Some of Modern Family's greatest heartfelt moments arise from Jay's
00:35 periodical displays of sentimentality. Throughout the course of the show,
00:38 we glean that few things matter more to him than his family.
00:42 "And I remember thinking, 'I can't save you, buddy, but I'm getting off this ride.'"
00:48 This was evidenced pretty early on in the series in the episode "Disneyland,"
00:51 where we come to learn that Jay was all set to divorce Dee Dee until he thought of Claire and
00:55 Mitchell, who were still kids at the time. He put them first and waited until they were grown to do
01:00 what was best for himself. "But I realized that staying with my kids was more important than
01:05 leaving my wife. Now that's not the right decision for everyone, but it was the right decision for me."
01:11 In season 11, we also learn that business wasn't always easy for Jay.
01:16 There was a time when he had to cut a family vacation short and take a night job to keep
01:19 the lights on. "Why wouldn't he have told us?" "Probably didn't want to worry anyone."
01:24 Number 19. The forklift fiasco. It's no secret that Jay and Manny don't always see eye to eye,
01:30 and the two definitely do not have exactly the typical father-son bond that say Luke and Phil
01:35 have. But they don't need that sort of bond to be there for each other. "Wait a minute,
01:38 is that Manny driving?" "Is it?" "Yeah, that's him."
01:46 When Manny has an accident on a forklift at Jay's work, Jay immediately fires the employee who let
01:51 it happen. While Manny fights for the employee and begs his stepdad to give the worker another chance,
01:56 Jay knows where his priorities lie. "You can give me the cold shoulder the rest of your life.
02:01 Jack's not coming back. See, I could overlook the goofing off, but you could have been seriously
02:05 hurt today. Anybody puts my kid in danger doesn't get a second chance ever. I'll see you later."
02:12 His kid's safety comes above all else. Manny's reaction to the term reveals something many
02:17 blended families go through, and it's really sweet seeing just how touched he is.
02:21 18. Alex wants to come home. Alex is not a quitter, and as a result,
02:27 she often doesn't get to quit. When she's having a rather poor time at college,
02:31 she confides in her dad who, with his intentions in the right place,
02:34 inadvertently sets her off by encouraging her to give things a chance.
02:38 "Alex, don't get mad." "Well, I am mad, because I'm actually smart enough to know
02:42 what's working for me and what isn't. And this isn't. I have to go to class."
02:47 This isn't the first time Alex has had trouble fitting in,
02:50 but luckily, her parents always seem to know how to be there for her.
02:54 "I have no friends." "You're on the clock."
02:58 "Alright. What happened?" Despite Phil later validating her feelings
03:10 and assuring her they'd love to have her back home, he also gives her the gentle
03:13 nudge she needed to get out of her comfort zone.
03:15 17. Hailey's college debut. As it turns out, both Dunphy sisters had a rough time away from home.
03:23 They say the first one is always the most difficult to let go, and that is precisely
03:27 what Claire and Phil go through after leaving Hailey in her new dorm.
03:30 "Okay, so I better go." "Okay."
03:34 "Okay, come here. That's my girl." "Let me get in there."
03:38 "Okay." "Alright."
03:40 "Bye." "Bye."
03:41 The goodbye doesn't go exactly as they might have wanted after a typical Dunphy catastrophe,
03:46 but Hailey eventually comes around later in the day when she discovers how lonely college can be.
03:50 "Sweetheart, is everything okay?"
03:52 "Yeah, I just wanted to say thank you for everything. You know, today and stuff."
03:58 "Of course, of course, if you need anything at all, you just call us."
04:05 Her thank you and I'll miss you are familiar to so many parents of college-aged kids,
04:10 and Claire and Phil's reactions make the moment all the more real.
04:13 It's truly the mark of their eldest moving out of her teen years into adulthood,
04:17 at least until she was kicked out.
04:19 16. Phil's dad instincts. All parents and their kids go through rough patches,
04:25 some of them worse than others. After Hailey's arrest and expulsion from college,
04:29 which was another super real moment on the show,
04:31 things are understandably pretty rough between her and her parents.
04:34 "You know what I haven't heard from you yet? I'm sorry, Mom. I screwed up, Dad.
04:38 Please forgive me. Now put on some real clothes. We'll see you at the hearing. Do not be late."
04:44 When she begins dating someone who's nearly her dad's age,
04:47 Claire insists that it's to get back at them,
04:49 and they should stand their ground in the game of chicken.
04:52 Phil is a little less steadfast. In her final attempt to provoke her parents,
04:57 Hailey divulges her feelings of failure,
04:59 which are entirely relatable to those of us who've made bigger mistakes in life.
05:02 "Oh, you don't have to tell me what he thinks, okay? I'm a huge disappointment to him.
05:06 I see it on his face every day. He acts as if he doesn't even want me around."
05:10 It's Phil's confession, however, that always hits us right in the gut,
05:13 serving as a much-appreciated reminder of what a father's love looks like.
05:17 "That's my little girl. I need her to know that no guy on Earth is good enough for her,
05:21 let alone some slimy middle-aged jean salesman."
05:23 Until Joe, Lily held the title of the baby of the family.
05:32 By season 10, however, she wasn't such a baby anymore.
05:35 The arrival of her first period sees Mitch and Cam out of sorts,
05:38 as they try to help despite knowing very little about the experience.
05:42 "I thought you were gonna ask Claire to talk to Lily about this."
05:45 "Well, I was, but when I tried, Claire was in such a mood because ironically..."
05:48 "Okay, we can't screw this up. We cannot give her a complex."
05:51 They call on some outside help, which does more harm than good,
05:55 and eventually realize that even if they can't completely understand
05:58 what their daughter is going through, they are the two best equipped to help.
06:02 Mitch's speech about Lily growing up brings him to tears,
06:05 and it's such a stark reminder about a major theme both in the show and in life.
06:09 "We are your parents, okay? We are gonna make mistakes,
06:12 and we are not gonna have all the answers, but when you do wanna talk about it,
06:18 we're here for you."
06:19 Change is scary, but the people around us can make it a little less so.
06:25 Gloria's accent, pronunciation, and confusion of English expressions
06:33 was a long-running gag on Modern Family.
06:35 "But people understand me just fine."
06:37 "What the hell is this?"
06:39 "I told you, Jay. I called your secretary and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses."
06:43 "Oh, so now that is my fault too."
06:48 But the show also made sure to shine a light on how difficult it is to speak
06:52 a second language you didn't grow up with,
06:54 as well as Gloria's frustration with jokes and jibes at her expense.
06:57 In season six, Gloria finally gets to speak her mother tongue
07:00 when a Spanish tutor is hired for Manny.
07:03 Jay learns what it's like to be the one out of the loop for once,
07:06 and Gloria has some great lines about the tribulations of speaking a language
07:09 you're not totally comfortable in.
07:11 "Do you even know how smart I am in Spanish? Of course you don't.
07:14 For once, it would be nice to speak to someone in my own language in my own home."
07:20 It's relatable to many, and a good lesson for native speakers
07:24 reinforcing that intelligence has nothing to do with how well someone speaks.
07:29 Claire worries about Alex growing up.
07:32 As is perfectly on theme for a plot point in this sitcom,
07:35 Alex's middle school graduation is cause for something of a panic in Claire.
07:39 "Emotional day, huh?"
07:40 "Happy day."
07:42 "Happy and sad."
07:44 We see her break as she reveals that middle school graduation was around the time that
07:48 Hailey's moody teenage years put a damper on their mother-daughter relationship,
07:52 and she's anticipating the same will happen with Alex.
07:54 "Hey, we're losing her."
07:56 "Alex?"
07:57 "Yes."
07:57 "You're not losing her."
07:58 "We are, she's going to high school. This is just when I lost Hailey.
08:02 This is when Hailey went from being my sweet little angel to being a
08:06 moody, texting, snotty little princess who hates me."
08:10 Even Phil ends up in tears as he reminisces on Hailey as a child
08:13 versus their interactions when she's a teen.
08:15 Later on, we'd see Hailey experience something similar when Alex was set to go off to college,
08:20 and she was scared they wouldn't keep in touch.
08:22 "What are you talking about? You're my sister."
08:24 "Oh, right. Yeah. Sisters. Like,
08:27 we're obligated to see each other's Thanksgiving, Christmas, Luke's funeral."
08:32 Parents will never be prepared for a child to leave them,
08:34 but at least Claire got one thing wrong - they do come back.
08:38 Number 12. Jay's Navy Tradition
08:41 Though this episode delves into some pretty weighty topics like teenage insecurities and
08:46 the importance of emotional connection in romantic relationships,
08:49 nothing is quite as heavy as the twist that is Jay's plotline.
08:53 It's storming at the Delgado-Pritchett household,
08:55 and Jay spends the entire time trying to get out of the house and to the nearest bar.
08:59 "Okay, everyone, don't feel like you have to wait for me to get back."
09:02 "Jay! The leak is growing!"
09:06 "I was just on my way back out."
09:07 "I'll do it."
09:08 We initially think it's just Jay being cynical and trying to get away from all
09:11 the hullabaloo taking place in his house.
09:13 By the end, however, we learn of the true reason behind his urgency.
09:17 The quiet moment he shares with Phil of all family members
09:20 is nothing short of a tearjerker.
09:22 [rain]
09:29 Number 11. Luke's Friend Walt
09:31 It feels so specific to have Luke befriend the crabby next-door neighbor Walt Klezak,
09:36 and yet it's exactly something Luke would do.
09:38 "My name is Luke Dumpy. I live next door."
09:40 "What do you want?"
09:41 "I want to get our ball from your yard."
09:43 "I don't want you messing around back there. Just go home."
09:47 Claire and Phil, who were spooked by Walt to begin with,
09:51 have their apprehensions about this new friendship.
09:53 It's Luke, however, with his childlike view of the world that reminds everyone
09:57 the importance of getting to know someone before we pass judgment.
10:00 This lesson is brought home when Walt reveals he was once a firefighter,
10:04 and has no ill intentions.
10:06 "I used to be a fireman, you know. I don't hurt kids."
10:09 "Sir, would you like to come in?"
10:14 "Just told the boy that Shane is on today at three. He should watch it."
10:20 That was all real enough, but the biggest punch to the gut comes in the next season
10:24 when Walt passes away, and Luke has to confront grief at such a young age.
10:29 "Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and look down here.
10:31 The TV was on and I knew he was up. I don't know. I guess I'm gonna miss that."
10:39 "Yeah."
10:41 Number 10. Mitchell and Cameron are denied a second baby.
10:45 "We're getting a baby today."
10:46 "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!"
10:49 When Cameron Mitchell got the call that a pregnant woman had chosen them to adopt her baby
10:52 and she was in labor, they rushed to the hospital prepared to leave with the newest member of their
10:57 family. But things didn't go as planned as the grandmother of the child announced that she was
11:02 going to raise it. The scene is played for laughs as it plays out like a telenovela, with angry
11:07 women, face slaps, and a sexy priest.
11:10 "The nurse is mad at Juanita because Juanita stole her lover, and Juanita is mad at the nurse
11:15 because the nurse told their grandmother about the baby."
11:18 "Our baby?"
11:20 However, at the core of it all is Cam and Mitch not getting a baby.
11:23 "She's saying that she's going to raise the baby."
11:25 "No, Cam."
11:30 It's a difficult moment for the couple, and one that leads them to take a step back and decide
11:35 not to pursue adoption for the time being.
11:37 "I think I'm lying on a rock."
11:39 "I'm lying next to my rock."
11:40 Number 9. Alex's meltdown.
11:43 "Also, should I get a job this summer? Would an internship look better on my application?
11:47 And what is up with Hillary? Is she going to run or not? I mean, I feel like she totally
11:51 understands the feeling of being overwhelmed, but also like you're not doing enough at the same time."
11:55 Alex is a brilliant girl and an academically driven student who puts a ton of pressure
12:01 on herself to succeed. It makes for a lot of funny jokes, but in the season 5 episode
12:05 "Under Pressure," this constant need to be the best comes to a head when she breaks
12:09 down during her 16th birthday party.
12:11 "Hey, hey, we all know why we're here."
12:13 "I honey, you missed one."
12:15 "I know! I know I missed one. I'm not an idiot! There, happy?"
12:21 Alex speaks to a therapist, whom she found by herself of course, and it's during their
12:25 session that we really get a deeper dive into her stress and her belief that no one really
12:30 understands how she feels.
12:32 "I feel... kind of alone."
12:36 During an open house at school, Claire begins to realize the stress Alex must be under,
12:40 and at the end, gives her a real shoulder to cry on.
12:43 "I don't know how you don't have a meltdown every day. I... oh honey."
12:48 8. Jay breaks down at family therapy
12:52 "I can just imagine my old man with his buddies sitting at their lawn chairs, laughing
12:56 their asses off that I missed a whole day of football because I'm trying to get in
13:00 touch with my emotions."
13:01 Jay, the patriarch of the Pritchett family, is old school, tough, and not one to wear
13:06 his emotions on his sleeve. We know he grew up with a tough no-nonsense father too, but
13:12 he generally doesn't share much about how that makes him feel. That is, until the family
13:17 has a session with a doctor and self-help author, who forces them over the course of
13:21 the day to clean out their emotional junk drawer.
13:24 "Sounds like you're stuck in that drawer."
13:25 "Sounds like you're stuck in that metaphor."
13:27 While Jay and the other Pritchetts don't take it very seriously at first, eventually
13:32 Jay has a real moment about his father that brought him, and probably many watching, to
13:37 tears.
13:37 "I didn't even cry at his funeral, you believe that? The guy was my whole world."
13:42 "Not a tear. Everybody looking at me like I didn't love him. But he knew.
13:47 He had to know, right?"
13:53 "Of course he did."
13:54 7. Mitch tells Jay not to attend the wedding
13:58 "Why are you having such a big thing anyway?"
14:01 "Well, because we're only getting married once."
14:03 "I'm just saying, why do you need to make it into a spectacle?"
14:06 "A spectacle?"
14:07 While Jay and Mitchell's relationship improved over the course of the series,
14:10 Jay wasn't always as accepting of his son's sexuality as he eventually became.
14:15 Although things had gotten better by season 5, some of Jay's prejudices came to the surface
14:20 as Mitch and Cam prepared for their wedding.
14:22 As the cost of the event grows, Jay makes some comments about how they should tone it down,
14:27 and how he doesn't want his friends there to see it.
14:29 "I don't think I'm out of line suggesting my friends don't want to see a father-son
14:33 dance at a big gay wedding."
14:34 To hear your father say that just before your wedding day would be hard for anyone,
14:38 and as a result, Mitch tells Jay not to bother coming.
14:41 "If it really makes you that uncomfortable, then don't come to the wedding."
14:46 Thankfully, father and son work through it though,
14:48 and Jay is ultimately there to walk Mitch down the aisle.
14:51 6. Jay refers to Cam as "Mitchell's friend"
14:56 Early on in the series, the discomfort that Jay has with his son being gay is put on display
15:01 when he introduces Cam as Mitchell's "friend."
15:04 "Hi, I'm Cameron. I'm sorry, guys, this is Cameron. He's a friend of my son's."
15:11 Obviously, this angers Mitch, and he gets back at his dad by telling him
15:14 one of his friends is gay, even though he isn't.
15:16 "My father was a tailor. I like clothes, so what?"
15:19 This first season episode is titled "15%," in reference to Mitchell's closing monologue
15:24 about how that is as much as people can change if they want to.
15:28 "Can people change? I don't know. People are who they are,
15:33 give or take, yeah, 15%."
15:35 We might argue that considering where he started,
15:38 Jay's change over the show's 11 seasons, especially in regards to his gay son,
15:43 might have been more than 15%. But this was season 1, and he wasn't quite there yet.
15:48 5. Jay cries on Mother's Day
15:51 "He teared up when I found this poem he wrote for his mom as a boy."
15:55 As we've already discussed, Jay Pritchett considers himself a man's man,
15:59 who keeps his emotions in check and doesn't like to look weak.
16:03 But near the end of season 2, we get one of our first cracks in his armor
16:07 in the Mother's Day episode, while he's making his mom's sauce with Phil.
16:11 During the process, they find a poem Jay wrote about the recipe for the perfect mom,
16:15 and their reading of it floods him with unexpected emotions.
16:19 "Are you crying?"
16:19 "No! It's the onions, damn it, give me these."
16:22 Later at dinner, he tries to play it off as nothing,
16:24 but he again breaks down with the whole family around.
16:27 "Nobody, and I mean nobody, yells at my little boy."
16:34 "Oh my God, it's happening again!"
16:36 "It's okay, Jay, let it out."
16:38 Instead of pulling back this time though, he lets himself feel the feels.
16:41 4. Jay takes Manny to Disneyland
16:45 "My dad's taking me on Space Mountain. It's supposed to be really fast,
16:48 but he's not scared of anything. He doesn't even wear a seatbelt when he drives."
16:52 "Wow, how about that?"
16:53 "Killed a bear once."
16:55 "Really? Was the bear sitting in the passenger seat?"
16:57 Modern Family didn't waste any time getting real,
17:00 with the next item on our list coming in just the second episode of the series.
17:04 Jay is again at the center of the realness, but this time,
17:07 he's living up to the adage that ends the episode,
17:10 that the biggest part of being a good dad is just being there.
17:13 Although Jay had a trip planned for him and Gloria,
17:16 when Manny's biological father decides he would rather play craps
17:19 than spend time with Manny at Disneyland as planned, Jay is there.
17:23 "The plane was full, and this old lady needed to get home, so he gave up his seat."
17:28 "You're making that up, aren't you?"
17:30 He makes up some excuse for Manny's father and changes his plans,
17:33 so that he, Gloria, and Manny can go to Disneyland together.
17:37 3. Grace Dunphy's funeral
17:39 "This may not make sense to everyone, but I'm pretty sure she would have loved it."
17:43 Funerals are often times when shows get real,
17:46 and the funeral for Phil's mom in season 4 was no exception.
17:50 The moments that stand out from the episode are the ones with Alex,
17:53 who was very close to her grandma and at first is confused and disappointed
17:57 when all her grandma seemingly left her was a lighter and a short letter.
18:01 "I don't really get the gift grandma left me."
18:03 "Well, didn't she explain it in the note?"
18:04 However, when more of the letter is discovered,
18:07 it all makes sense as grandma really did understand her,
18:10 which, as we learned earlier, she didn't feel like anyone else did.
18:14 This leads to a closing moment filled with smiles,
18:17 and if you're anything like us, a bunch of tears as well.
18:20 "So, my Alex, who I love so dearly,
18:23 who's probably too much like me for her own good,
18:25 every once in a while, don't be afraid to break the rules.
18:29 You never know what can happen."
18:31 2. Dee Dee Pritchett dies
18:33 "Hey Jerry, what's wrong?"
18:35 "When?"
18:37 "How?"
18:39 Sure, Jay and Dee Dee had their problems.
18:41 She wasn't very accepting of Gloria,
18:43 and her relationship with her kids was complicated.
18:46 But as Jay's ex-wife and Claire and Mitch's mom,
18:49 she was a part of this modern family.
18:51 She was loved, and her loss affected everyone in their own way.
18:55 They say that the only two things guaranteed in life are death and taxes,
18:59 but that doesn't make it any less painful to loved ones left behind.
19:02 "Remember how she used to always bring her own ice cubes to restaurants?"
19:05 "Remember when she got thrown out of Scientology?"
19:09 "Our mother is dead, Phil."
19:14 Dee Dee's death was the big shock of Season 10,
19:18 but as we already saw and will see again,
19:21 it wouldn't be the last time the show would get real with the passing of a member of the family.
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19:48 By the time Season 11 came around, the family had already lost Phil's mom,
19:56 Claire and Mitch's mother, and Manny's turtle to name a few.
19:59 But there was one more heart-wrenching death to come, and that was Phil's dad, Frank.
20:04 "We didn't do much that day, but it might have been one of the best days I ever had with my dad.
20:09 I just didn't know it would be the last."
20:13 Phil and his father were definitely two peas in a pod,
20:15 and there are few sons who look up to their dad more than Phil did his.
20:19 "My dad was okay, and my takeaway from our day,
20:24 don't miss a chance to let the people you appreciate know that."
20:31 This one hit hard, but as with the death of his mother, who Alex sent off with fireworks,
20:36 Phil celebrated his dad in the most perfect way he could, with big penguin footprints.
20:41 "He left some big footprints, my old man."
20:43 Do you agree with our picks? Check out this other recent clip from Ms. Mojo,
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20:52 [Music]