Coronation Street 25th August 2023-n
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TVTranscript
00:00 [MUSIC PLAYING]
00:03 No, as much as I want to participate.
00:25 But you are such a spoilsport.
00:26 No, I will be finding glitter in my beard for weeks.
00:29 Which means you will be sparkly for weeks.
00:31 No, I will leave the glitter to you.
00:32 Thank you. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:34 We have a whole theme, so there's
00:35 no glitter faces for us.
00:36 All right, well, when do we get to find out what you three
00:38 have been secretly planning?
00:40 Well, not till later, but we are going to look amazing.
00:43 Asher and Nina are really excited.
00:46 Oh, come on, just a little bit.
00:47 No, my personality sparkles enough.
00:51 Billy is being no fun.
00:53 I wanted to glitter bomb his beard,
00:55 and now I don't even get to do a makeover.
00:59 I'll have some on my face.
01:00 Oh, yes, Paul.
01:02 Glad to see someone is getting in the party mood.
01:04 What do you want?
01:05 Oh, can you do us a Mike Tyson tattoo
01:08 meets David Bowie over one eye?
01:10 Tyson meets Bowie?
01:12 Oh, what a combo.
01:14 Just make it bling.
01:15 Yeah, well, take a seat.
01:18 So where are we going to go for it today?
01:21 Oh, I was just going to hang out here.
01:22 Who's killing the party mood now?
01:24 Yeah, you're not staying in if I'm doing your face.
01:26 My handiwork needs to be seen.
01:28 It's just there'll be loads of people there.
01:30 I'm not that steady at the moment.
01:31 It's OK.
01:32 We'll just find a bar and park up and eat and watch everything,
01:35 and then pride can come to us.
01:37 Yeah, it'll be fun.
01:39 Yeah?
01:40 You don't mind not wandering around?
01:41 No.
01:42 Give me a comfortable seat any day.
01:44 Because you is getting old.
01:45 Cheeky.
01:48 I can even crack out those Abba costumes I got.
01:51 Oh, I don't know if I fancy a day of hearing Bjorn again
01:53 jokes from a Christian.
01:56 OK.
01:57 All right.
01:58 But you're better.
02:00 Yes, sir.
02:01 Some fresh coffee there, love.
02:07 Do you want me to make you some breakfast?
02:09 No, I haven't got time.
02:11 I'll get something for Roy's later.
02:12 Oh, what's your rush?
02:14 Oh, I don't know.
02:14 I didn't sleep properly.
02:16 And before you go panicking, it wasn't healthful later.
02:18 I just had Lou bouncing around on me.
02:19 And she's been on at me because we haven't paid anything yet.
02:21 Well, I thought I'd get a few fares
02:23 in before I take Ryan later.
02:25 Oh.
02:27 Oh, hi, mate.
02:28 It's you.
02:29 I thought you were Ryan.
02:30 Oh, that's unlikely.
02:31 I don't think he ever comes out of his room, does he?
02:33 Think he's all right?
02:34 Yeah, of course he's all right.
02:35 Probably just don't want to sit in here with you watching
02:37 reality TV, does he?
02:38 I don't watch reality TV.
02:40 Oh, you know what I mean.
02:41 I mean, you know, he's his own man.
02:43 Leave him be.
02:44 There's some coffee on the counter with your name on it.
02:46 Love you.
02:47 All right, love.
02:47 Have a good day.
02:49 I don't suppose there's any breakfast going
02:51 with that coffee, is there?
02:52 Yeah, sure.
02:52 There's some cereal in the cupboard.
02:54 Go make it yourself.
02:55 How about that?
02:56 Listen, if the hermit does pop his head out,
02:59 tell him I'll be back in time to take him to the hospital, OK?
03:01 Come here. - Yeah.
03:02 I love you.
03:03 Have a good day, pal.
03:04 [DOORBELL RINGS]
03:19 [DOORBELL RINGS]
03:23 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:26 [GRUNTING]
03:30 [GRUNTING]
03:33 OK.
03:36 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:40 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:43 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:47 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:50 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:54 [MUSIC PLAYING]
03:57 [SIGHS]
04:01 [MUSIC PLAYING]
04:04 [TV PLAYING]
04:07 [MUSIC PLAYING]
04:11 [MUSIC PLAYING]
04:13 Who's had them grapes that I just bought on that tray?
04:15 Don't look at me.
04:16 I've got my probiotic.
04:18 Glinda?
04:20 [SIGHS]
04:22 What has she done to deserve breakfast in bed?
04:25 I should have not asked.
04:26 She's on the day off.
04:27 I just wanted to rest, that's all.
04:29 It's you that should get some rest.
04:31 Have you not found a new assistant yet?
04:33 I work with the dead.
04:34 Puts people off.
04:36 Are you sure it's the dead that puts them off
04:37 and not your conversation?
04:39 Look, finding good help, it's not easy.
04:41 It takes time.
04:42 I can't just magic an assistant out of thin air.
04:44 Yeah, you can.
04:45 Click your heels together and say, abracadabra.
04:49 Morning.
04:51 Is that breakfast I smell?
04:52 Yes, it does work.
04:54 You're welcome to a bowl of my yogurt if you like.
04:56 It'll stop your bowel from being irritable.
04:59 But I'll be irritable.
05:00 I'll stick to my proper breakfast, thank you.
05:02 Oh, hello, Glinda.
05:03 Didn't realize we'd opened a B&B.
05:05 You're in my spot.
05:07 Oi!
05:08 That's for your mother's breakfast in bed.
05:10 Make her some more.
05:11 I'm filling up.
05:12 I've got a busy day ahead.
05:13 Burying Mrs. Beetham.
05:15 Who your boss stole from me.
05:16 She's not a football card.
05:18 She's a person.
05:19 Yeah, who deserves a better burial.
05:21 She'll be resting easy by the end of today, don't you worry.
05:24 Enjoy your day on your tod.
05:25 Missing this one.
05:29 [LAUGHTER]
05:32 You know it's pride, not carnival.
05:34 It's the same energy, my little cherub.
05:37 Time to let your hair down.
05:38 Go nuts and get flotto.
05:41 Where do the maracas and the bomb go?
05:43 I had them from baby sensory.
05:45 Loving this, by the way.
05:46 Oh, yeah, yeah.
05:47 Our summer sorted us out.
05:48 We're at Abba, by the way, in case you didn't guess.
05:50 You're missing the A's.
05:52 Just like my school report card.
05:54 Right, I say that we find a nice little spot somewhere
05:58 to watch the madness go by that's equal distance
06:00 from the bar to the bar.
06:02 And nowhere child friendly.
06:04 Because what's the point of chest
06:05 taking one for the team if I'm going
06:06 to be surrounded by other people's kids all day?
06:08 Sounds like a plan.
06:10 Sorry, that was the occupational therapist.
06:12 She's on her way over.
06:14 But we're off out.
06:16 There was a cancellation.
06:17 I mean, it's best to be seen as soon as you can.
06:20 Today of all days.
06:21 We can go straight after.
06:23 Yeah, yeah, we'll go back to ours, make some banners,
06:26 you know, make people laugh as they walk by.
06:28 See you in a bit.
06:28 See ya.
06:29 See ya.
06:30 Nice to see climate change hasn't touched gift wrapping yet.
06:37 Isn't it?
06:38 Could have made a small forest out of this lot.
06:40 Well, for someone, it's been a very lucky girl, haven't you?
06:42 Thank you.
06:43 You're welcome.
06:44 Can you do me a favor, though, Lil?
06:45 Can you stop growing up now, please?
06:47 I already feel old enough as it is.
06:49 Will you stop being so miserable on a birthday?
06:51 I'm allowed to pass my prime now.
06:53 All right, we'll deal with it.
06:55 George Clooney has.
06:56 Yeah, I would, but I don't like coffee.
06:58 Oh, here he is.
06:59 Mr. I've Passed My GCSEs.
07:02 Yeah, it was a fluke.
07:04 I thought I was going to put the U in proof.
07:07 Even though you sat him in the STC?
07:09 Why are you ruining a perfectly good gag?
07:11 Sorry, I'm proud of you, either way.
07:13 Yeah, we all are.
07:14 So much so, we should do some proper good celebrating today.
07:17 You know, that's another milestone
07:18 for my ever-advancing years.
07:20 Him, now in sixth form.
07:21 You believe that?
07:22 Oh, you put a sock in it and stop making today all about you.
07:25 Yeah, Shona, it really isn't that much reason
07:27 for a celebration.
07:28 Oh, look at this.
07:29 He's just left school and he's already turning into you.
07:32 I do not want two grumpy old men in this house today, all right?
07:35 We're celebrating.
07:36 End of discussion.
07:37 Fine.
07:39 Hi, come on in.
07:40 You must be Billy.
07:41 Yes.
07:42 This is Paul.
07:44 Nice to meet you both.
07:46 I'm Melody.
07:48 Wow.
07:49 Your face looks brilliant.
07:51 I take it that's for pride.
07:53 It was.
07:55 Oh, I'm sorry.
07:57 Did I interrupt your plans?
07:58 No.
07:59 No.
08:00 This shouldn't take long.
08:02 I mean, you could join in all the fun.
08:05 I know this is really dull stuff, but I'm just here to help.
08:09 It's my job to get you whatever you
08:11 need as quickly as possible.
08:13 Like a concierge at a hotel.
08:16 Except I don't do theater tickets or dinner reservations.
08:19 I just-- I wanted one day of doing something nice,
08:23 not having to chat about medical stuff.
08:25 Maybe we should have your schedule.
08:27 No.
08:28 I mean, you're here now, so.
08:30 Why don't you tell me how you are now and what you're using?
08:33 Are you getting around OK?
08:35 Yeah, I'm using this at the moment.
08:37 And we've got a stairlift coming soon,
08:39 so everything's fine at the moment.
08:42 So we might have a little time.
08:44 We can arrange a follow up when it isn't pride.
08:46 I think Melody could help you more.
08:50 You've got nothing to hide from her.
08:53 Billy, could I have a cup of tea?
08:56 Would you mind?
08:56 Yeah, of course.
08:58 So sorry, I've-- where are my manners?
08:59 Come on.
09:08 Chat to me, Paul.
09:09 What's really happening?
09:10 Someone to disturb you?
09:18 Oh, don't you see enough of me at home?
09:21 I forgot to give you this.
09:23 For the lucky bill.
09:25 Oh, aye.
09:26 Planning an escape?
09:27 I wish.
09:28 No, untapped markets.
09:30 And who we know in them, doubling down on efforts to pay it back.
09:34 I'll be able to help out a little bit more with that soon.
09:36 My promo payment's getting better.
09:38 Got one through today, actually.
09:40 You shouldn't have to worry about this, Ray.
09:42 It's what families do, innit?
09:43 Look out for each other.
09:46 Oi, Mr. GQ, what happened to the daily torso
09:49 pics popping up on my feed?
09:51 I set me clock by 'em.
09:52 You said to me you weren't working.
09:53 Maybe, you know, I think you're hot stuff.
09:55 But your abs are more cheese-bored than washable.
09:58 He's a fitness influencer, Beth, not a Chippendale.
10:01 Sorry, Sean saw your page, and you've been the talk
10:04 of the factory ever since.
10:05 All right.
10:06 Nice to have a follower, don't you?
10:08 When you oil yourself up, is it baby oil or what?
10:10 Hmm, 'cause Kirky had to go, but we got in the right mess.
10:13 All right, posh and becks.
10:14 Some conversations are better left at home, aren't they?
10:16 OK, all right.
10:18 But FYI, don't use layer pack, 'cause it goes all sticky.
10:22 Oh, and that, Ryan, is why the world invented therapy.
10:26 Hey, how are you making this much, Cass?
10:28 You're not posting pictures?
10:31 No, I am still posting.
10:33 Just, well, probably hasn't come up on their feed, that's all.
10:36 Right, how are we getting on?
10:41 - Oh. - Making progress.
10:44 - There you are. - Thanks.
10:46 So, what are you finding the hardest?
10:49 Well, if I'm being honest, after the fall yesterday...
10:54 You had a fall?
10:55 It was nothing, it just...
10:56 It took me a while to get up, that's all.
10:58 It wasn't nothing.
11:00 I'm just being honest, that's all.
11:03 I mean, I think it might be time you consider a wheelchair.
11:06 Billy, if I may, it's really important for Paul to speak for himself.
11:14 I know you obviously care a lot,
11:16 but being in charge of your own care is important.
11:20 It's my job to keep Paul independent for as long as possible.
11:23 Well, that's what I'm hoping for him too.
11:25 I am in the room, Billy.
11:27 You keep doing that.
11:29 Sorry, it's just that all this is...
11:30 It's fine.
11:32 There's no rule books.
11:34 We go at the pace that Paul's comfortable with.
11:37 Thank you.
11:38 That being said, I won't shy away from tough love.
11:42 If I feel you're risking yourself, I'll tell you.
11:46 As hard as it is, you really do need to come to terms with the fact
11:51 the next step in your treatment plan will be a wheelchair.
11:56 MUSIC PLAYS
11:58 Nice.
12:12 Right. Shall we get ready?
12:14 Go and meet the guys.
12:15 Are you serious?
12:17 What?
12:19 What was that?
12:21 I was...
12:23 Looking out for you.
12:25 No. No, once again, you were speaking for me, over me.
12:29 It's my condition, not yours.
12:31 I know, it is.
12:33 But you can't deny it's having an impact on me too.
12:37 Of course it does.
12:38 Right, then, well, I get a say.
12:40 Especially if you're lying.
12:41 I wasn't lying.
12:43 You were.
12:44 I wasn't ready!
12:47 OK, are you happy now?
12:49 I'm not ready for this step, the next step.
12:52 Get used to one thing changing and then another thing goes.
12:55 I just want the world to stop for a second so I can catch up with myself.
13:00 I know it's happening, but it's...
13:03 It's happening too fast.
13:05 Don't you think I know that?
13:07 Then why aren't you on my side?
13:08 I am.
13:11 I am trying to anticipate your every need before it even happens.
13:15 I'm lying in bed at night, worried, sick,
13:17 that if I miss one thing, I've let you down.
13:19 That someday you might fall and I won't be able to catch you.
13:23 No matter what I do, I cannot save the man that I love.
13:28 So, Paul, please, I am begging you, today of all days,
13:34 do not let your pride get in the way of you accepting the help that you need.
13:38 I appreciate you're trying to think ahead.
13:45 But if you thought for one second
13:47 that you were so obsessed with my physical decline,
13:49 you've totally missed my emotional one.
13:51 Oh...
13:53 HE SPITS
13:55 HE EXHALES
13:57 All right.
14:04 There you are, Beth.
14:10 You... KNOCK AT DOOR
14:12 Hello.
14:14 Hey.
14:16 I almost smell the testosterone in here.
14:18 Must have had a good session.
14:20 Yeah, getting there, yeah.
14:22 I'm just going to nip, do a bit of shopping for Carla,
14:24 and I'll be back to take you to the scar clinic.
14:26 All right? Thanks.
14:28 HE SIGHS
14:31 HE SIGHS
14:38 DOORBELL RINGS
14:40 Oh...
14:46 HE SNIFFS
14:48 DOORBELL RINGS
14:50 I am so excited.
15:00 Yeah, me too.
15:02 What on... It's pride.
15:04 Why are you bringing all the negative vibes?
15:06 Mm. Actually, this is sleepy vibes.
15:09 I was up out of the night stitching.
15:11 Luckily I'm not working, and I've got to thank Lauren for covering for me.
15:14 Well, how have you been looking?
15:16 Well, I don't like to gloat, but I smashed it.
15:20 Come on.
15:22 Oh, happy Pride, Roy.
15:25 Oh, yeah, and to you, yeah.
15:27 Well, without a European distributor,
15:31 we need to fix that. Oh, look at market sells where.
15:34 Shame the Bon Bon Boulevard talks didn't work out.
15:36 I could speak to Angelica and Owen,
15:38 see if they fancy branching out in Europe.
15:40 They were keen before. Yeah. OK.
15:42 What can I get for you two?
15:44 Er, coffees to go, please, Roy, thank you.
15:46 Yeah, but I can't do that and fight with Lou.
15:48 You need to step up here. OK, fine.
15:50 I'll call them, we'll see what they say. OK.
15:52 See, if we hadn't robbed this chap, you wouldn't be making that call, would you?
15:55 So how are things at the factory?
15:58 Oh, they're fine. Just the usual daily grind,
16:00 keeping the staff motivated, you know.
16:02 You seem a little under stress.
16:04 No. Well, a little, but, you know, I'm feeling fine.
16:07 I'd be the first to say if I was feeling ill, don't worry.
16:10 But I suggest that you delegate some responsibilities.
16:13 Says a man who can never delegate anything.
16:16 If you want a job done properly.
16:18 Hmm?
16:20 So, how are we feeling? Your first rest easy ceremony.
16:29 Good. Everything's set.
16:31 Great. So I just wanted to run over with you our day of burial procedure.
16:36 We call it a final sail in the coffin.
16:40 Don't follow. It's pretty straightforward, really.
16:43 You just go over all the bits the family said no to when they booked it.
16:46 Better earn it, etc.
16:48 Tell them you can give a small discount as you've been so moved by their loss.
16:51 It's the day of the funeral.
16:54 Is it not a bit in bad taste to try and upsell them?
16:57 Bad taste would be wasting an opportunity.
17:00 They want to spend the money.
17:02 Their loved one was worth it.
17:04 All they need is a little help, a nudge in the right direction.
17:09 All right? Yes, boss.
17:11 Well, as I always say, you can't take it with you.
17:14 So it's better in our hands, eh?
17:16 Harder work, I see.
17:19 Oh, can I tempt you with a gin for pride?
17:22 Nice promotion. Why gin?
17:25 Oh, because they come in a lovely variety of flavours,
17:28 which we should enjoy all equally with no judgement on preference.
17:31 Exactly. We are who we are and we like what we like.
17:34 So can I get you one?
17:36 Care to join me for a little chit-chat?
17:39 Maybe later.
17:41 Listen, I came by to see what you're doing this afternoon.
17:45 I mean, it might get busy in here, but I'm sure I could slip away.
17:48 Why? What did you have in mind?
17:50 A client had two tickets to a wine tasting and he can't pick it.
17:53 I was offered the tickets and, well, I thought of you.
17:56 You thought of me?
17:58 Yeah, you being a landlady, I thought it might be of interest.
18:02 Oh, right, a professional outing.
18:04 With some pleasure mixed in too, hopefully.
18:08 Oh, yeah, OK, yeah, sure.
18:10 Great. I'll pick you up at 3.30.
18:13 And good luck with the gin sale.
18:16 Thanks.
18:18 All right, bye. I'll see you later on.
18:25 All right, Paul.
18:27 You OK, mate?
18:32 Happy pride.
18:34 You know, cos we've all got so much to be proud of.
18:37 Mate, what are you doing drinking out here on your own?
18:40 You wouldn't understand.
18:42 You're really saying that to me, somebody that you share the cell with?
18:46 I think I'd understand a lot more than most people around here.
18:49 Go home to your family.
18:54 Hold on to them. Don't let them go.
18:58 Don't let them go.
19:00 - Cooing! - Mary!
19:06 Frightened the life out of me, then.
19:09 Just heading off to a meeting, actually.
19:11 I have decided to be your assistant today.
19:13 No need to thank me for sacrificing my day off.
19:16 I only do it out of the goodness of my heart.
19:18 No, I couldn't possibly ask you to do that.
19:20 Well, you didn't. I saw how Todd wound you up this morning.
19:24 So, what are we going to do, then?
19:27 Erm...
19:28 Shop could do with a bit of an oeuvre.
19:30 I miss out on a meeting. Surely you need a note-taker.
19:33 - Well, no... - That's it decided. I will be your note-taker.
19:36 - Thank you. - So, what's the gig, then?
19:38 Cremation, burial?
19:40 Oh, the Serenity Open Casket Collection.
19:44 Yeah, the client's family were very specific in their request.
19:47 What, as in open? As in fully open?
19:52 No, only half. Top half.
19:54 Well, I did think they'd just be looking at the feet bit.
19:57 Oh, how morbid.
19:59 Look, are you sure you wouldn't rather just stop here and hoover up or something?
20:02 No, I'm fine.
20:05 I'm a big girl now.
20:07 Smashing.
20:11 I thought he'd come straight here to you.
20:13 No, he texted me. He said he didn't want to go to Pride any more.
20:16 We stayed like this cos we thought you'd convince him to change his mind.
20:20 We've had a row.
20:22 He never told me that.
20:25 We thought he was just about that appointment.
20:29 Maybe he just needs five minutes to calm down.
20:32 KNOCK AT DOOR
20:34 - Hi. - Come in.
20:38 Hi. Erm...
20:40 Listen, I've just seen Paul and...
20:42 Well, he didn't look too good. He was drinking a bottle of vodka.
20:45 - And you just left him? - Well, no, I tried speaking to him,
20:48 but I thought it'd be best coming from one of you.
20:51 - Did you see which way he went? - No, but...
20:54 Get out of my fart, can't I? I shouldn't have argued with him.
20:57 It's not your fault. You can't just wrap him up in a little bubble.
21:01 Oh, you know what?
21:06 What? Oh, Ryan, don't let silly comments get you down.
21:11 What? What silly comment?
21:14 Online. I thought that's what you were looking at.
21:17 No, it wasn't.
21:19 Sorry, Beth's showmate.
21:21 I thought it was great that you were posting pictures of your whole arm.
21:24 I mean, you can just delete that.
21:26 - People have seen it. - Not the picture, the comment.
21:29 Don't delete the picture. You look great, Ryan.
21:31 - What would you know? - Everybody in the factory said it was a nice picture.
21:34 Oh, right. So everyone's just talking about me, were they?
21:37 No, not like that. Why are you getting upset?
21:39 Just don't take any notice of comments. Surely you want people to look.
21:43 What, you all think you've got a...
21:45 Hey!
21:47 Nobody's thinking that. Calm down.
21:49 No, I won't! You don't get it. Nobody... Nobody gets it.
21:53 - It's all your fault, this. - What?
21:55 - You and all that factory... - What?
21:57 - You make me sick. - Ryan!
21:58 - Judging everyone. - Ryan, what are you doing?
22:00 All the time. Get off! Get off! Calm down!
22:03 Calm down.
22:07 (Sombre music)
22:10 Get off him. Get off him!
22:25 She needs to keep her nose out of my business!
22:27 And your nose is gonna be all over your face, Ryan, if you keep this up!
22:30 Please calm down, Ryan. Calm down.
22:32 Oh, calm down, Ryan, yeah. Be a good boy, Ryan.
22:35 Look, we know you've had a tough time. We know that. But so has she.
22:38 Yeah, well, if I'm such a pain, maybe I should just move out.
22:41 - Good idea. - Right.
22:42 No, Ryan, no! But your appointment!
22:45 What was all that about?
22:49 I don't know. He posted a picture online showing his scars,
22:53 and somebody posted a snide comment, and it got to him.
22:57 It got to him? I thought he was gonna hit you.
23:00 He wasn't gonna hit me.
23:02 There's no way he missed Pride. He was proper looking forward to it.
23:06 - So was I. - He was really angry.
23:09 Well, he's not answering.
23:11 Why don't we go and look for him up the precinct?
23:14 Mam's text. She said she'll check the boozers.
23:19 David said he'd got a bottle of vodka. He might be in the pub.
23:22 Oh, there's no point in us arguing, is there?
23:24 Come on, we'll find him.
23:26 You'd better had.
23:28 Especially after what happened the last time he disappeared.
23:32 Afternoon drinking. I like your style.
23:35 I wish. I'm getting house ready out with Lily.
23:39 It's my youngest. It's her birthday party.
23:42 You're doing a bang-up job.
23:44 I needed the break.
23:46 You try being in house when me mum and Shona are arguing
23:50 over the pros and cons about Mandarin segments. It's just...
23:54 Unfortunately, I...
23:56 Oh, no, no, no, no. If I've to be there, so have you.
23:59 - She's your kid. - Whose side are you on?
24:01 I'm neutral. Like a referee. Farm aid rules.
24:04 It completely slipped my mind. I've got... I've got plans.
24:07 Yeah, and I've got a migraine coming on.
24:09 Look, no excuses. Just be there, all right?
24:11 Three lime whip, four o'clock.
24:13 Blimey! What's all this in aid of?
24:17 Wow!
24:19 Ah, say no more.
24:21 No, erm, Stephen kindly invited me to a wine tasting,
24:25 which, as you will observe, is the business I am in.
24:28 So it's, er, it's not a date.
24:30 Not any more, it's not.
24:32 - Eh? - I... I was wondering if we could make a quick pit stop beforehand.
24:37 It's not that posh new members club I keep reading about, is it?
24:41 Not quite.
24:43 Hey, David's youngest, Lily, it's her birthday.
24:46 I said we'd pop in.
24:48 - To Gail's? - Yeah.
24:50 I'm done up like I'm about to open a supermarket
24:53 and you're taking me to a kids' party?
24:55 Oh, it'll be fun.
24:57 Just remember to take your earrings out during London Bridges Falling Down.
25:01 They can be quite vicious at that age.
25:03 An hour less, we'll be in town sipping fine wines before you know it.
25:07 You're all right, pal. I'm not playing pass the parcel, I've just done me nails.
25:11 Great. Let me go and get a card. I'll be in two secs.
25:15 I'd be flattered if I were you.
25:19 - How do you work that out? - First date.
25:22 And he's already introducing you to the family.
25:26 You should transfer to packing. That's where the magic happens.
25:30 And then just putting knickers into cardboard boxes.
25:33 Oh, you've got a lot to learn, grasshopper.
25:35 Have you seen Paul?
25:37 - Who's Paul? - His boyfriend. He used to work for Ed.
25:40 Oh, Paul, yeah. Right.
25:43 - Will? - What?
25:44 - Have you seen him? - No.
25:47 Thanks. You've been a great help.
25:49 You know, he can be quite sarky for a vicar, him.
25:52 Yeah.
25:54 Sorry that we had to rush the eulogies.
25:57 The creme were way behind schedule,
25:59 and, erm, the next family were getting a bit antsy.
26:03 Yeah, I could hear them chanting, "Why are we waiting outside?"
26:06 during Ave Maria.
26:08 No rush, obviously, but, erm...
26:11 have you thought about what you'd like to do with your wife, Sashas?
26:14 Well, she always said she'd like to be scattered
26:17 around her favourite begonia in our back garden.
26:20 She said she wanted me to have my morning brew sat out with her,
26:24 weather permitting.
26:25 So you're planning to stay in that house for the rest of your life?
26:28 Oh, I haven't given it much thought.
26:30 It's just that I've seen this before.
26:34 Ashes scattered in gardens,
26:37 circumstances change, people move.
26:40 Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
26:42 We do have some beautiful urns available,
26:46 which would not only make her more...portable,
26:51 but should you ever move house,
26:54 you can chat to her wherever you like.
26:56 You won't be a slave to the weather.
26:58 I don't know why you're off to all this trouble, Mum.
27:03 Light Lily cares about a tablecloth.
27:05 I thought it was a spare bed sheet.
27:07 I just wanted to make it nice for her. Is that such a crime?
27:10 Well, shouldn't the kids be helping lay the table anyway?
27:12 Well, they're having a kick about outside,
27:14 and we'll just leave them there. They'll only cause chaos in here.
27:17 Why don't we ban Lily from her party altogether?
27:19 We don't want her messing up the table arrangement, do we?
27:22 Oh, hello, hello!
27:24 Not late, am I?
27:25 No, Grant, you haven't got any decent booze, have you?
27:28 Shona were in charge of the grown-up drinks.
27:30 Well, what do you buy?
27:31 Cider. Well, it is a kids' party, after all.
27:33 Oh, well, don't panic, cos I bought the wine.
27:35 Oh, thanks, ma'am. I'll pop it in the fridge.
27:38 Get one open pronto.
27:40 Do you know, I had another letter from that property police this morning.
27:44 You know, the equity release on the house.
27:46 - Oh, scam. - Yeah.
27:48 Defo. Don't contact them, Grant, because the minute you do, you phone them up.
27:51 They've got your details, they've drained your account before you put the phone down.
27:54 Well, I don't even answer the phone these days, unless I recognise the number.
27:59 Well, it seems very genuine to me.
28:01 It's got lovely, creamy paper and everything.
28:03 - Let's have a look, then. - No, I haven't brought it with me.
28:06 Oh, well, bring it round tomorrow and we'll have a look at it, if you like.
28:09 Yeah, but definitely, Grant, don't phone them up.
28:11 These scam merchants target people like you.
28:14 What's that supposed to mean, thank you?
28:16 - Oh, hello, hello. - Oh!
28:18 And isn't it there where's the birthday girl?
28:21 Shink garden.
28:23 - Do you know? - Mm.
28:25 So what are you doing here, then? Has David got humongous bar tab he's not paid?
28:28 No, it's Stephen asked me to come.
28:31 - Oh, is this a date? - No, no, no, no.
28:35 No, er, Stephen kindly asked me to accompany him to a wine tasting in town,
28:40 but then he realised that it clashed with Lily's party, so...
28:45 Mm. Well, it's one up from Tim's mum. I'll give him that.
28:50 You're making me feel very underdressed, Jenny.
28:53 - Very swanky. - Yeah.
28:55 Nice dress. You don't want to get kids sick on that, do you?
28:58 Ignore him. Everybody does.
29:00 Do you drink cider?
29:02 - Not since I was 15. - I've got wine.
29:05 Oh, Stephen, aren't you a dark horse, hmm?
29:11 What other secrets are you keeping from us, eh? Eh?
29:15 His phone's still switched off.
29:19 Between CCTV, social media and nosy neighbours,
29:25 I'm surprised anyone can go missing any more.
29:28 He's probably gone into town and got leathered, if he's got anything about him.
29:32 That's what I'd do if I was knarked off, were you?
29:35 I wonder whether I should give Summer a call,
29:37 cos she's gone to Pride with Asher and Nina.
29:39 - No need. - You found him?
29:41 Yeah. He uploaded this an hour ago.
29:44 I think it's safe to say he's in good hands.
29:46 He's at Pride?
29:48 Not any more, he's not.
29:54 Wee! This is our stop.
29:57 Right, here we are, ladies. You're gonna love this place.
30:00 This is my spiritual home.
30:02 - To the bar! - Woo!
30:05 - Come on, love. - Hee-hee-hee!
30:07 - Watch yourself. - I'm good, I'm good. Wee!
30:10 - What are you doing? - I'm saying goodbye to Mr Angry.
30:15 I'm not having him behaving like that towards you. No way.
30:18 Oh, get down off your white horse. I don't need saving.
30:21 Not what it looked like to me. Peter, the boy's been scarred for life.
30:25 Give him some flaming leeway, will you?
30:27 Carla, look, I know you think you're indestructible,
30:29 but you're not long out of hospital yourself.
30:31 And the screaming matches between the two of you, are they really what you need?
30:35 Look, that was so out of character for him.
30:37 Let me just talk to him. Something's obviously gone on.
30:40 I'm not gonna apologise for putting your health first. I'm sorry.
30:50 Hey, my missus loves you, look.
30:52 - What are you, babe? She never misses drag race. - You love it and all.
30:55 She's obsessed with all the make-up and that.
30:57 Practises all the different looks on herself.
30:59 - Maybe I can give you some make-up tips. - Oh, I wouldn't. I tried. Doesn't end well.
31:03 Shut up, Kirky.
31:05 I'm just glad our father gays have come. In my lifetime, anyway.
31:08 Still a long way to go, me darling.
31:10 Well, I get what she means, though.
31:12 I mean, we weren't even allowed to get married ten years ago.
31:14 Yeah, and now it's legal.
31:16 And in another ten years, it'll be compulsory.
31:19 - Oh, she's camper. - Camper's a picnic basket.
31:22 Camper's a leather tent. Camper's an handbag full of rainbows.
31:26 All about the cruise ships, you see.
31:28 And you know what they say? All the nice boys love a sailor.
31:32 - Right, come on, seven sandbooters. - Yeah, chance.
31:35 - Whoa, only six of us. - What, you think I'm missing the party?
31:38 - Dream on. - We do.
31:40 - Here we go. - Ready?
31:42 - Cheers! - Cheers!
31:45 Oh!
31:47 - Ooh, hi, honey. I'm Homo. - This your vicar, is it?
31:53 Oh, I do love a man who can pull off a beard.
31:56 - Where have you been? - Erm, take a while, Gash.
31:59 You're hauling ass.
32:01 He's been worried about you. We all have.
32:05 I'm not here with the domestic. Not on today, of all days.
32:08 Could you not just answer your phone?
32:10 Oh, will you all stop pecking my head, yeah?
32:12 I went to Pride, like we arranged.
32:14 - We arranged to go together. - Yeah.
32:17 Well, maybe I actually wanted to enjoy myself, didn't I?
32:20 - Oh, that's the kick in the tea bags, innit? - Do you mind?
32:23 - Ooh! - I do beg par.
32:25 How can you be so selfish?
32:29 Oh, no way! I don't believe it!
32:33 Er, do you low-end gays ever answer your phones?
32:36 OMG, I've died and gone to heaven. It's the golden girls.
32:40 Well, we know it's yours and Billy's favourite show of all time,
32:44 and we wanted to do something special for you.
32:47 Ali was meant to be Rose, but he chickened out.
32:50 Everyone seems to think we're Bananarama for some reason.
32:54 - We need to talk about this. - No, no, no, no, we don't.
32:59 You don't get it, do you?
33:01 What I need is to drink and dance and laugh and go back to the flat.
33:06 You're not listening, I am.
33:08 It's just like before with the therapist.
33:11 Look, why don't you go back to the flat, yeah?
33:14 All you're doing is bringing me down.
33:17 Glenda, my darling. Shots, please. Shots, please.
33:22 Can I have a snake bite as well?
33:24 Right, come on.
33:28 # I'm a snake, I'm a snake, I'm a snake, I'm a snake... #
33:35 Oh, you can't go yet.
33:37 We shouldn't have stopped this long. We're on stage in an hour.
33:40 Now, rest for the wicked.
33:42 - Or the ugly. - LAUGHTER
33:45 Bye, girls. You're welcome here any time.
33:48 - Aw, thanks, chick. Now, don't go changing. - Never.
33:52 - Well, they were low-key, weren't they? - I've not laughed that much in ages.
33:58 Wow!
34:02 Wow! Are you after pride?
34:04 No, I dress like this to do the big shop at Frescoes.
34:07 Well, if you want to be alone, you've come to the wrong place.
34:10 That's Greta Garbo. I am...
34:12 Marlene O'Dedrick.
34:14 I always get them two mixed up. It's like Ant and Dec.
34:17 Hey, hey, Mary! Top costume.
34:20 - Thank you. - Yeah, I love a bit of a...
34:22 Half-hole Marks, me.
34:24 - Where are you going? - To get changed.
34:29 - Where's Billy? - I don't know. I don't care.
34:32 Why don't you kiss him here, Corpay?
34:34 Are you gonna start telling me what to do now or not?
34:36 Hey, you! You don't speak to your sister like that.
34:39 She's wasted half a day chasing after you.
34:41 Shall we go back into town?
34:43 - Oh, I think I'm done now. - Oh, God.
34:46 I can't wait to get these stockings off. I'm sweating like a builder's bum.
34:50 - What about you, Jen? - I'm gonna stick round here for a bit.
34:54 Your choice. I'm not missing out.
34:57 Irvine Steps is on at six. I don't want to catch her.
35:00 She owes me 50 quid.
35:02 - Waiters! - Hi.
35:05 Hi.
35:06 So Mary's not exactly undertaking material, then?
35:09 It's just that relentlessly cheery, upbeat outlook.
35:14 It's just not what folk expect when they're burying a loved one, is it?
35:17 Well, maybe it'll be a nice change, you know,
35:19 when everyone's been all hushed and respectful.
35:21 I was lucky this time. The client really wore on to her.
35:24 Turns out that Mary's mum and his mum, they're both massive ice skating fans.
35:28 So while I'm trying to get him to choose a coffin, they're on tour of Lundin.
35:32 She even got Roy to put the layer on.
35:34 Not a pride, meeting Mum there later.
35:47 Thankfully, it's Glenda.
35:53 (SIGHS)
35:54 - Work going all right, then? - Yeah. Brilliant.
35:59 Can't get them planted quick enough.
36:01 - How was Mary today? - Amazing.
36:06 Yeah, she's got a real human touch.
36:09 - Really? - Yeah.
36:11 Yeah, she's got a real way with her.
36:13 So is she gonna come and work with you full-time, then?
36:20 Sorry.
36:21 Classified info.
36:24 - You really gonna take on Mary full-time? - Am I hell?
36:34 - So what's all this, then? - Er, what's all what?
36:47 - You and Lord Sugar. Is it serious? - Oh, we're just pals.
36:51 Oh, yeah? And I'm Bonnie Tyler.
36:53 - Your young lady not coming, Max? - No, we're not seeing each other any more.
36:58 Oh. Well, she'll be regretting that now, won't she?
37:01 Now that you've showed everybody and passed all your GCSEs.
37:04 Yeah, cos there's nothing hotter than a disturbed teen with a record and what, mid-grade exams?
37:11 That's the spirit.
37:13 - Happy birthday to you. - Sorry. Hang on, hang on.
37:18 - I don't think you can make it. - Michael's covering for me.
37:21 - Shall we start a happy birthday again? - No. It's fine. I've heard it before.
37:25 - Have you got me a present? - Lily!
37:28 - As a matter of fact, I do. - We can go when they've cut the cake.
37:31 Our work is done here.
37:33 Do you know what? I'm actually having a really nice time.
37:36 - Would have been mad if we stayed. - Is it cash?
37:39 - Bingo. - Oh!
37:41 - Oh! - That'll stay.
37:44 Guys, can we all please think of the tablecloth?
37:48 - Help me get everything off. - Stay!
37:51 - Oh! - Does it matter?
37:54 Welcome to the family.
37:56 - Help me get everything off. - I mean, it's just...
37:59 Billy!
38:01 All I'm saying is, how would you feel if it was the other way round?
38:05 And he kept biting your head off every time you wanted to help him.
38:09 - Billy! - He's probably gone off in a stroke.
38:12 - You don't get it. - So tell me.
38:19 It's just all this talk of wheelchairs and stairlifts.
38:25 It reminds me that time's running out.
38:28 - I know. - No, you don't.
38:36 Them drag queens, they didn't come to the Rovers for the laugh.
38:40 I had another fall.
38:44 - I couldn't get up. - Paul.
38:49 And bless their hearts, they insisted on bringing me back in a cab.
38:53 This is my life now.
39:00 And when I get that wheelchair, it's just another reminder that...
39:05 Billy loves you.
39:07 He only wants to help. Don't push him away.
39:10 For your sake, just as much as his.
39:13 Hey, look, thanks for bringing me back.
39:18 But can you stop backing my head?
39:21 It's taking it out of me today.
39:23 It's worth it, though.
39:27 I'll see you tomorrow.
39:29 (Door opens)
39:31 - Evening. - Here.
39:49 I spoke to those people about the stairlift.
39:52 - When do you want to collect it? - Don't ask me.
39:55 I've already had strips torn off of me for interfering,
39:59 so you'll have to talk to Paul.
40:01 If you don't mind sharing that bottle, you can always tell me about it.
40:05 - Hey, you all right? - Hey.
40:13 How's it go?
40:15 Yeah, you know, just, er...
40:18 No talk, really. Just do-it-yourself counselling, or...
40:22 - Just make-up. - Hey, come on.
40:25 We've seen those make-up tutorials with burn victims. They were brilliant.
40:29 Yeah, just... Not for me.
40:31 You look like you've calmed down a bit.
40:33 We've got you some fish and chips.
40:35 Mr Wong.
40:38 Hey. Hey.
40:41 Sorry they were all out of battered sausage.
40:44 (Laughs)
40:46 - Come. - I'm sorry.
40:48 - It's OK. - I'm sorry.
40:50 I'm so sorry.
40:52 I'm sorry, I don't even know what I was...
40:57 I just... I haven't been sleeping, and then that nasty comment.
41:01 I just... You're the last person that I would ever...
41:06 Listen, if you...
41:11 I totally get it if you want to kick me out.
41:14 Don't be silly. You're going nowhere. Is he Peter?
41:18 We'll treat today as a one-off.
41:20 I'm not unsympathetic, Ryan, I'm not.
41:24 But that level of aggression, there's no place for that.
41:27 Especially not here. OK?
41:30 Yeah. No, I get it.
41:34 If you two only knew just how grateful I am.
41:40 Oh, shut up and go and get yourself cleared up.
41:43 I don't understand a man who's sobbing into his fish cupper. Go on.
41:46 Sorry.
41:48 Thank you.
41:51 - He's struggling. - Clearly.
42:02 But like I said, that can't happen again.
42:05 He's just said so, hasn't he?
42:08 I don't think I can do this any more.
42:12 Oh, please. You spent half your adult life
42:14 helping people through stuff like this.
42:16 It's not the same, no.
42:18 I don't love him, do I? I don't even like some of him.
42:22 It's the same with the bereaved.
42:24 There are pain in the backside sometimes,
42:26 but you've got to show willing, haven't you?
42:28 So what bit is it you can't do any more?
42:33 The boyfriend bit or the carer bit?
42:36 The doubt.
42:42 The rouse.
42:44 The mistrust.
42:46 When Paul disappeared today, it wasn't the first time.
42:53 He did the same thing a while back
42:55 and ended up snogging some ex of his while he was out on a lash, so...
43:00 My head was full of all sorts today.
43:04 I get that.
43:06 The truth is,
43:08 if he wasn't sick and he'd have done that,
43:12 I don't think I'd have stayed with him.
43:14 Don't hang about for my sake.
43:27 Paul...
43:30 I know exactly what you meant.
43:33 Let me explain.
43:35 It's OK. I get it.
43:38 I just want to go to bed.
43:41 I get it.
43:44 SIGHS
43:46 SIGHS
43:49 SIGHS
43:52 MUSIC PLAYS
43:55 MUSIC FADES
43:58 If you've been affected by issues raised in tonight's programme,
44:01 you can visit itv.com/advice for support information.
44:05 Next, a big revelation in brand-new drama, The Reunion.
44:11 MUSIC PLAYS
44:13 MUSIC FADES
44:16 MUSIC FADES
44:19 MUSIC FADES
44:21 (upbeat music)
44:24 (chime)