• last year
At 17, Demi Lovato fell in love with actor Wilmer Valderrama, sustaining a tumultuous on-off relationship for 6 years despite their 13-year age difference. Following their breakup, Demi's struggles with addiction escalated, eventually leading to a transformative realization that influenced her recent album, where she possibly sheds light on her relationship with Wilmer.

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Transcript
00:00 When 17-year-old Demi Lovato met Wilmer Valderrama,
00:03 she fell madly in love with the same lovable goofball who captivated the world.
00:08 But was his charm all a lie?
00:10 We discovered an interview where Wilmer bragged explicitly about his sex life
00:14 with 16-year-old Mandy Moore.
00:17 However, Mandy came forward exposing his lies.
00:20 "He said I took my virginity.
00:22 He took your virginity.
00:23 And he did not."
00:24 The media turned on Demi and Wilmer's relationship,
00:27 but she relentlessly defended it, ignoring the red flags.
00:30 "Guarantee it, I wouldn't be alive without him today."
00:33 But now, 13 years later, is Demi finally seeing Wilmer for who he really is?
00:38 "I've never loved anybody like I loved Wilmer.
00:41 When I first met Wilmer, he was 29.
00:43 I met him on January 11th of 2010.
00:48 And it was at a PSA shoot for the 2010 census forms.
00:53 To be honest, I only did it because I heard it was at his house,
00:56 and I thought he was really cute.
00:58 I didn't really care about the census forms.
01:00 But when I met him and I laid eyes on him for the first time,
01:04 I was in hair and makeup and he came and sat down and I was like,
01:07 I love this man.
01:10 And I have to have him.
01:13 But I was only 17.
01:14 And so he was like, get away from me."
01:17 Demi always wanted to be taken care of.
01:20 So when she started dating Wilmer, she thought he was the one.
01:23 "After I had turned 18, we began dating.
01:29 I think it was love at first sight.
01:31 And I don't really believe in that, but I believe that it happened.
01:35 We connected on a level that I've never connected with anybody before.
01:41 He was just my rock, my everything."
01:47 Demi was so desperate to keep Wilmer by her side
01:50 that she relentlessly defended their relationship.
01:53 "What is a 31-year-old doing dating a 19-year-old?"
01:55 "Did you know that I met your friend Wilmer before you were born?
01:59 You guys have been close for how many, how long now?"
02:01 "I met him five years ago and we became close after that.
02:07 I'm not shy to dating older men.
02:11 And he was like, 'Whoa, slow down.
02:14 You're too young.'"
02:15 "But you are too young."
02:16 "Not anymore."
02:18 Demi thought she had everything she ever wanted when suddenly,
02:22 your father passed away over the weekend.
02:25 "A part of me hated him, a part of me loved him,
02:27 a part of me felt sorry for him."
02:28 "My emotions were just so built up.
02:31 I didn't know what to do."
02:33 "He was abusive to my mom."
02:35 "Early on, Demi was very, very sad because of her issues with her dad."
02:42 "He wasn't capable of raising family."
02:44 "He would tell them he had cancer when he didn't,
02:47 or he's dying tomorrow when he wasn't."
02:50 "So I cut him out.
02:52 We weren't close growing up my whole life.
02:55 I longed for that relationship with him."
02:58 "The most important thing to Demi, it's losing people.
03:02 It's losing people that she cares about and that loves her."
03:04 Despite being abandoned by her dad, Demi fell down the same dark path.
03:10 "My dad was an addict and an alcoholic.
03:13 And I guess I always searched for what he found in drugs and alcohol
03:18 because it fulfilled him and he chose that over family.
03:21 I was sneaking it on planes, sneaking it in bathrooms.
03:25 I went on a bender of two months where I was using daily.
03:29 I was 18 when I first went into treatment."
03:32 Throughout their recovery, Demi clung to Wilmer for support,
03:36 convinced they couldn't do it alone.
03:38 "We've been in a relationship on and off for almost five years now.
03:43 As I get older and I get more serious in my life, I just am more proud.
03:49 I also wanted to give him a lot of credit.
03:52 He'll never take credit for a lot of my sobriety and my recovery,
03:56 but I guarantee it, I wouldn't be alive without him today."
04:00 Demi was trying to balance their sobriety and relationship,
04:04 but it quickly fell apart.
04:06 "Why do you think you broke up?"
04:07 "It had nothing to do with falling out of love.
04:11 We decided together that we're just probably better as friends."
04:16 Demi tried to focus on her mental health,
04:18 but she had a hard time letting Wilmer go.
04:21 "I do have moments where it's late at night and I'm lonely
04:25 and I wonder if I made the right decision, because love is a gamble.
04:29 I don't know if I'll lose him for the rest of my life."
04:32 "I think my heart's always with Wilmer.
04:35 Do you not share six years with somebody and not give them a piece of your heart?"
04:40 But while Demi was questioning their breakup,
04:42 an old interview came back to haunt Wilmer.
04:45 "Mandy Moore got to finally clear up an old rumor about her sex life.
04:51 It's unfortunate that she even had to do this in the first place."
04:54 "This guy who was on my show."
04:55 "Wilmer."
04:56 "Right. He came on the show and said, 'Oh, I think he was caught up in the moment.'"
05:00 "He said..."
05:01 "He took my virginity."
05:02 "We were each other's first loves."
05:04 "She was a virgin, you took her virginity?"
05:06 "Dude."
05:06 "Dude."
05:07 "High five, Arty."
05:10 "Come here."
05:11 "Look at that."
05:12 "High five, man."
05:14 "I will say this, it is not like warm apple pie."
05:17 "He did not."
05:18 "He did not."
05:19 "He did not."
05:20 "I dated him when I was 16 and 17."
05:22 "I love him and I still love him and he's a very good friend and that's why I was so
05:27 shocked by it because not only was it a fib, but it was so unlike him, it was so uncharacteristic."
05:34 Demi kept quiet about Wilmer's interview and was desperate to show the world that she'd
05:39 moved on.
05:40 "There was so much in my life that I hadn't explored yet."
05:43 "She's here, she's present, she's happy."
05:46 "One of the reasons why I've stayed sober is because I want people to know that it is
05:49 possible for you to get help."
05:51 But just one month after Wilmer's scandal, Demi's struggles behind the scenes were exposed.
05:56 "Pop star Demi Lovato rushed to the hospital."
05:59 "The Los Angeles Fire Department responded to a medical emergency at the singer's residence."
06:03 "I had three strokes, a heart attack, I had pneumonia, kidneys failed, and my liver failed."
06:11 "I crossed a line that I had never crossed."
06:14 "And I just remember thinking, and I'm just like my dad."
06:17 All alone, Demi realized other people couldn't save her.
06:21 She had to save herself.
06:22 "I have to like fight those battles on my own and I can't let somebody come in and fix
06:27 those issues for me."
06:28 "I actually, I've had trauma that has placed barriers in front of me and certain people,
06:34 so older men, that kind of brings up trauma for me, right?
06:38 And one point I was in treatment this last time with only one other woman and the rest
06:43 were men.
06:44 And so my guard was up and when I let that guard down because I was like, you have to
06:48 heal your trauma, you can't be stuck in your story."
06:52 "I sit in front of an empty chair and I share my truth with the empty chair as if he was
06:59 sitting there."
07:01 And through their recovery, Demi realized the people they once thought were helping
07:05 were actually hurting them.
07:07 Here's Demi Lovato's new song slamming her ex, Wilmer Valderrama.
07:11 "You were triggered by trauma when dealing with older men and you tackled the subject
07:15 to some degree on 29.
07:16 Was that song a reflection of the work that you did in rehab?"
07:19 "Yes.
07:20 And also when I turned 29, it put everything into perspective.
07:24 I feel like the song says it all.
07:26 Going into treatment and having realizations led to my transformation, my release of the
07:34 emotion that was put into this song."
07:35 The lyrics say, "Numbers told you not to, but that didn't stop you."
07:40 Later in the song, Demi sings, "Finally 29, funny just like you were at the time.
07:46 Thought it was a teenage dream, just a fantasy, but was it yours or was it mine?"
07:51 "I would be lying if I said I didn't have a ton of anxiety about putting out this song.
07:57 I just said, I have to go for this.
07:59 I have to own my truth.
08:00 I've learned that sometimes saying less is more."
08:03 Although Demi knows people will doubt their recovery, they're committed to doing the work
08:08 themselves.
08:09 "With time comes trust.
08:12 You know, I never have come out of treatment expecting people to trust me right away.
08:16 It was a learning experience of, okay, people are going to have to learn to trust you again.
08:22 The only way they can do that is by you proving yourself and like taking actions that are
08:27 towards your recovery."
08:28 "I thank God that I did a lot of work on myself.
08:29 I would be probably a s*** show right now had I not done all my work on my issues surrounding
08:38 my dad.
08:39 I feel okay being alone.
08:42 I'd rather be alone."
08:43 "If you do go through this, you yourself can get through it.
08:47 As long as you take the responsibility, you can move past it and learn to love yourself
08:52 the way that you deserve to be loved."
08:53 "Now that I'm owning who I am, I feel the happiest I've ever felt."
08:58 "I feel like I'm the happiest person I've ever felt."
08:59 "I feel like I'm the happiest person I've ever felt."
09:00 "I feel like I'm the happiest person I've ever felt."
09:00 "I feel like I'm the happiest person I've ever felt."
09:05 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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