In this episode of "Mommy Issues," four mother-daughter pairs will answer truthfully about their opinions on feminist topics such as body hair, first times, sexting and so much more. Will there be some surprising answers? Take a look!
Director: Claire Buss
Director of Photography: Hil Steadman
Editor: Estan Esparza
Coordinating Producer: Kevyn Fairchild
Line Producer: Jen Santos
Associate Producer: Shelby Bomah
Production Manager: Natasha Soto-Albors
Production Coordinator: Jamal Colvin
Casting Producer: Nicole Ford
Camera Operator: Rebecca Van Der Meulen
Sound Mixer: Lily Van Leuwen
Production Assistant: Erica Palmieri
Post Production Supervisor: Christian Olguin
Post Production Coordinator: Scout Alter
Supervising Editor: Erica Dillman
Additional Editor: Jason Malizia
Assistant Editor: Billy Ward
Graphics Supervisor: Ross Rackin
Designer: Lea Kichler
Director: Claire Buss
Director of Photography: Hil Steadman
Editor: Estan Esparza
Coordinating Producer: Kevyn Fairchild
Line Producer: Jen Santos
Associate Producer: Shelby Bomah
Production Manager: Natasha Soto-Albors
Production Coordinator: Jamal Colvin
Casting Producer: Nicole Ford
Camera Operator: Rebecca Van Der Meulen
Sound Mixer: Lily Van Leuwen
Production Assistant: Erica Palmieri
Post Production Supervisor: Christian Olguin
Post Production Coordinator: Scout Alter
Supervising Editor: Erica Dillman
Additional Editor: Jason Malizia
Assistant Editor: Billy Ward
Graphics Supervisor: Ross Rackin
Designer: Lea Kichler
Category
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00 - Was your first time with someone you loved?
00:02 At the time.
00:03 - At the time?
00:04 Yeah.
00:05 - Really?
00:06 - I liked him a lot.
00:08 (upbeat music)
00:11 - Hello, my name is Stephanie and this is my mom, Barbara.
00:16 - I think we're extremely close.
00:19 - Today I'm gonna be debating my mom
00:21 on different feminist statements.
00:23 - We usually agree for the most part,
00:25 but there are some new modern age things in society
00:29 that I agree with more than I would say,
00:31 like, than she does.
00:33 Yeah.
00:33 - Dieting is toxic.
00:37 Disagree.
00:38 - Agree.
00:39 - Agree.
00:42 - Agree.
00:43 - I completely agree.
00:45 From the point of trying to diet,
00:48 but also seeing how it has affected my grandmother,
00:52 my mother, myself.
00:54 It's physically draining, it's mentally draining.
00:57 I'm not against eating well, being healthy,
01:00 taking care of yourself,
01:02 but I don't think it should be for this specific goal
01:04 of being 10 pounds less or five pounds less
01:07 or 20 pounds less because it's a tough dream to chase.
01:11 - Agree.
01:12 - I love a good snack, I love sugar.
01:14 The truth is when you try and diet, you get more hungrier.
01:19 - We introduced my mom to salads.
01:23 - She just took the words out of my mouth.
01:25 - The concept of--
01:26 - Yeah.
01:28 She's from the South, so--
01:30 - Fatty, greasy, you name it.
01:31 - Veggies are not typically the most popular thing,
01:35 like really from the, like Alabama, South.
01:37 So as kids, me and my brother introduced my mom to salads
01:41 'cause we had it at school and I was like,
01:43 "You should try this, this is great."
01:45 She'll eat it, but she wants a bunch of stuff in it,
01:47 mostly cheese.
01:48 - And bacon bits.
01:49 - It wasn't until the last maybe three to five years
01:54 that I've actually gotten in touch with like
01:56 what real health is and being in tune with my body.
02:01 And in that way, I feel like I've gotten
02:03 to be so much healthier, but every time I've dieted,
02:06 it doesn't do anything.
02:07 - No, it doesn't.
02:08 It has taken me a long time to get there.
02:11 It was really important to me with Erica growing up as well
02:13 and my son to make sure that, you know,
02:15 it was healthy eating and it was not about this body image
02:18 and making sure you were skinny or perfect
02:21 or anything like that.
02:22 - Your first time should be with someone you love.
02:25 [bell dings]
02:28 [buzzer buzzes]
02:30 - Wait, I don't--
02:31 [bell dings]
02:32 [bell dings]
02:34 - Agree.
02:34 [laughs]
02:36 - Are you kidding me?
02:37 I mean, but you think you love them.
02:39 You're young and you think you do.
02:41 - But at the time, you should love them.
02:43 - Or like them a lot.
02:44 - Was your first time with someone you loved?
02:47 At the time.
02:48 - At the time?
02:49 - Really?
02:52 I liked him a lot.
02:54 I look back and I think, I thought I loved him,
02:57 but you know, we were younger.
02:59 [laughs]
03:00 - It's like, of course, the first time you do it,
03:02 you wanna feel comfortable with someone
03:03 and be vulnerable and love them.
03:06 I don't know exactly what age people tend to do it first.
03:09 And it's kind of like,
03:10 where really is your understanding of love at that point?
03:12 Because I know--
03:13 - I agree.
03:14 - I don't think I understood love at that age.
03:16 - Yeah, I would agree.
03:17 My first time, even though we tell you
03:20 it was with your father,
03:21 it might've been when I was a little bit younger.
03:24 And I can't say that I really loved that person.
03:27 At that moment in time, it felt like,
03:30 oh, this is what I need to do because I want this.
03:32 I think the right intentions were in my heart.
03:34 Like, oh, this is somebody I really care for.
03:37 It's just not really love.
03:38 - We're talking about the first time now.
03:40 Second, third, and fourth is a whole different story.
03:42 [laughs]
03:44 - Crop tops can be worn on any body type.
03:49 [buzzer buzzes]
03:52 Oh.
03:53 [buzzer buzzes]
03:55 - It depends on the body size.
03:57 We cannot just put a crop top on anybody
04:01 'cause some people look like they're wearing a sausage casing.
04:04 That won't work in my book.
04:06 - I think you can be a more curvaceous person
04:09 wearing a crop top.
04:10 You can have a little bit more.
04:12 Depending on the cut of the top and the cut of the bottoms,
04:15 I say yes.
04:16 I'm gonna say agree.
04:17 - Honestly, since I'm a little older,
04:20 I'm a little more self-conscious now.
04:23 But Deja says, "You look fine."
04:25 - I just think she looks fine.
04:26 I think stuff with body positivity
04:29 is more of a yourself type of thing.
04:31 You can tell someone all you want,
04:32 you look fine, you look fine,
04:33 but they have to really feel that way.
04:35 So we're gonna work on that for you, right?
04:38 - Yes, we'll work on it.
04:39 It's not that I don't,
04:40 I wouldn't love to see crop tops on everyone.
04:43 I just know that I personally don't look good in a crop top.
04:47 It kind of fits me weird,
04:48 and I got some crazy stuff going on in the belly region,
04:50 thanks to you and your brother.
04:51 So not every body type.
04:54 - Do you believe in body positivity for yourself?
04:56 - Yes.
04:57 - Yes? - Maybe not.
05:00 It might be like my little insecurity
05:04 is how as my body gets older and my body changes,
05:08 I remember what it used to be.
05:10 And then I see women my age who are doing things
05:14 that make themselves look better,
05:16 no matter how hard I try, I can't get there.
05:18 I wanna be body positive for myself,
05:20 but I do have insecurities.
05:22 - I hear you.
05:23 I think you're beautiful.
05:25 I love you. - I think you're beautiful.
05:27 - If women don't wanna get catcall,
05:29 they should dress differently.
05:31 Ooh, we have had this conversation before.
05:35 - Disagree. - Disagree.
05:37 - I disagree.
05:38 I just feel like I shouldn't have to watch
05:44 what I'm wearing on my body.
05:46 What I wanna wear is up to me.
05:48 Everyone should be able to wear what they wanna wear.
05:50 However, the wrong people could get the wrong idea.
05:55 - There is like that, ooh, they think I'm cute.
05:58 Are they, ooh.
05:59 There is that like, but catcalls are just rude.
06:02 - Yeah, agree.
06:03 - I think that how a woman chooses to dress
06:06 does not make you entitled to speak to her any kind of way.
06:10 And I also think that if you really wanted to like,
06:13 have a conversation with that woman,
06:15 there's a way to approach.
06:16 And it's not like, hey baby, yo baby.
06:18 Like, no. - Yeah, exactly.
06:20 - That's not the way. - Exactly.
06:22 - Honestly, the only experience catcalling
06:24 that I don't even think you could call it catcalling
06:26 is when you're in the bathroom at the bar
06:29 and another girl's like, you look so good.
06:31 - Yes, that's good. - That I love.
06:32 - That I love too.
06:33 - Nothing pipes me up more than a girl in the bathroom
06:36 telling me I look amazing. - Yes.
06:37 - Now don't get me wrong, I do think there's a time
06:39 and a place for everything.
06:40 Certain outfits I obviously wouldn't wear
06:42 to certain places, you know what I mean?
06:43 But if I'm going out to the nightclub,
06:46 you gonna see me like, hey, you know what I'm saying?
06:49 - I embrace having a full bush.
06:54 - Disagree.
06:56 (bell dings)
06:59 Yeah, totally.
07:02 Why not?
07:03 Nature.
07:04 - I think we always talk about this.
07:06 - Yes, we sure do.
07:07 - So, yes.
07:09 (laughing)
07:12 - I'm a free bird.
07:13 I'd probably be a nudist in another time.
07:16 - Definitely. - Yeah.
07:17 And it doesn't matter what I look like.
07:19 That's my mom, you saw me come out,
07:21 you know what I look like.
07:22 - Me, no.
07:24 I like manicured, groomed.
07:27 I feel yucky if I'm not shaven down there.
07:31 I grew up in the 70s and back then,
07:34 women did not groom as much.
07:38 It was terrifying.
07:39 - What are your grooming habits like?
07:41 - Like no hair.
07:42 - No hair.
07:43 - From here down, the mustache, arms, everything.
07:47 - You have a mustache?
07:49 - Yes.
07:50 You gave me the Italian blood.
07:51 - Yeah, I know.
07:52 She was born really furry.
07:54 She was really furry when she was born
07:55 and she had fur all over her face.
07:57 - So I said agree because I think that
08:00 if you wanna have a full, it's your private area,
08:04 you should be able to do that and embrace that.
08:05 And I also think it's seasonal.
08:08 Maybe in the winter you need a little bit more warmth,
08:10 you need a little bit more coverage.
08:11 In the summer, you're in a bathing suit, swimsuit,
08:14 you don't want as much coverage.
08:16 And I also think full bush,
08:17 but also we're trimming the hedges.
08:18 We're keeping it neat.
08:19 - Yeah.
08:20 - Right?
08:21 - She likes the runway.
08:22 (laughing)
08:25 Whatever that means.
08:26 - Sending someone nudes is a fun way to flirt.
08:31 (doorbell rings)
08:32 - I'm gonna say.
08:33 (doorbell rings)
08:34 - Oh!
08:35 (laughing)
08:37 - Oh God.
08:39 - Don't overthink it.
08:40 - I can't help but overthink it.
08:44 - Oh thank God.
08:45 (laughing)
08:46 - Who you sending nudes to girl?
08:48 Who you be talking to?
08:48 - I'm not sending nudes.
08:50 (laughing)
08:51 - You think it would be like a flirt?
08:53 - Yeah.
08:54 - I think it depends too on the person.
08:55 Like not just sending nudes to any old body now.
08:58 - Like I can agree now as a 24 year old girl
09:02 who is in a lovely relationship,
09:04 I can understand like you know,
09:05 when you're far away for some time,
09:07 sometimes you need to like, you know, just have fun.
09:10 - But you know that stays on the internet forever.
09:12 - No.
09:12 (laughing)
09:14 H-E double hockey sticks, no.
09:16 They've even tried to send me their nudies and I'm like.
09:21 (laughing)
09:24 - I will tell you.
09:25 - Are we doing some nuts?
09:26 - I will tell you that there, you know,
09:28 there's a little bit of a green in there.
09:30 - What is the green?
09:32 - I know plenty of people in relationships
09:35 that maybe have distance issues
09:39 and they may occasionally send pictures like that.
09:42 Not me, not me.
09:44 - I don't like that stuff.
09:45 - I don't think it's a fun way to flirt.
09:47 - Well, that's you.
09:48 I mean, 'cause you're all married now.
09:51 - So sometimes men, you don't have to ask them.
09:54 They'll just send you unsolicited dicks pics.
09:57 Yeah, it's a thing they do.
09:59 - That would be an insult to me.
10:01 - Well, they think it's a gift.
10:04 - Really?
10:05 - They're gifting you with their dick's image.
10:09 - Really?
10:10 - Yeah.
10:11 - Interesting.
10:12 - Most women have the inherent desire to be mothers.
10:15 - Agree.
10:17 - Disagree.
10:18 - Disagree.
10:19 - Disagree.
10:20 - I think that most women have the inherent trait
10:23 to procreate.
10:25 I don't think all do and I respect those who don't,
10:29 but I think for me, it was a very strong calling.
10:33 I can see why people might not want to have babies
10:37 or why maybe the desire isn't as strong,
10:39 especially I feel like sometimes when I think about
10:41 the shape of the world,
10:42 like sometimes people can be scared of having babies.
10:46 - But my son and his partner,
10:49 they may not have children either,
10:52 so it's kind of like,
10:53 and I don't mean to get emotional about it,
10:55 but I mean, I had this preconceived notion
10:58 of what my life was gonna look like
11:00 and the more I love my children
11:02 and the more I learn that their lives are not my life
11:06 and if I'm not destined to have grandchildren,
11:09 that's okay.
11:11 - It's not mandatory that everybody needs to be a mother.
11:14 It depends on the situation and the circumstance.
11:17 But in her case, she needed to hurry up and be a mommy.
11:20 (laughing)
11:21 I wanna be a grandmother.
11:22 - That is not the question.
11:23 - That's not the topic.
11:24 - Do you have that need to be a grandmother?
11:26 - No, the need I have is to see you happy
11:30 and however that's defined for you
11:32 is really what's important to me.
11:34 - She's very supportive.
11:35 - Period, sex is gross.
11:37 - Agree.
11:39 - I mean, agree.
11:44 - I don't think what my body does is gross
11:47 and early on in my relationship with my husband,
11:51 he didn't, it didn't bother him, so it worked.
11:56 - Sometimes when the time is right, the time is right.
12:00 - I wanna be very clear.
12:01 The period is not gross
12:02 'cause that's a natural bodily function,
12:04 but I would not want a penis coming at me.
12:08 I don't wanna be touched.
12:10 I don't want you near me.
12:11 - It's a violation at that time.
12:13 - It feels like a violation.
12:14 It's like my body is going through something.
12:17 Stay away from me, keep it away from me.
12:19 - It's not my preference,
12:22 but if the mood strikes you and you're on your period,
12:25 I guess--
12:26 - The mood strikes you.
12:27 - It is just kind of gross.
12:29 - I guess.
12:29 I think I would think about it more than my partner.
12:32 - Yeah.
12:33 I think, again, it goes back to this whole idea
12:34 of accepting your body, accepting who you are,
12:36 and accepting, and if you're a partner
12:38 and you are fine with it, then you're fine with it,
12:40 and if you're not, then you're not.
12:41 - Put a towel down, I guess.
12:42 I think for myself, it's gross.
12:43 - Do it in the shower.
12:44 - Ew.
12:46 - Ew.
12:47 - Thank you so much, Mom, for coming on the show with me.
12:51 - Yes, thank you for giving me an opportunity
12:53 to do something with you.
12:55 - Do you feel a little validated?
12:56 - I do feel validated.
12:58 I like this thing because it opens up conversation
13:01 in a way that we might--
13:04 - It's fun.
13:04 - Yeah.
13:05 - And lighthearted versus--
13:07 - And I like to be, you know, we like to debate.
13:08 - 'Cause we're two women in two different bodies
13:11 at two different ages, so it's like,
13:13 I can understand her perspective when she explains it,
13:16 and you can understand mine.
13:17 - Thank you for coming on the show with me.
13:19 I know it was a little scary, but we did it.
13:21 - Thank you for coming.
13:22 I was so excited that you came.
13:23 - You're welcome.
13:24 - Yay.
13:25 - This was fun.
13:26 - Yeah, this was cute, right?
13:27 - So cute.
13:28 (laughing)
13:29 - Bye. - Bye.
13:30 (gentle music)
13:33 (music)