Renowned performance coach Tim Grover uncovers the often-overlooked elements of achieving success, providing fresh insights into the journey to greatness.
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00:00:00 They unwrap the present, but they never fully use
00:00:04 the gift that's lying inside that present.
00:00:08 You're fully invested.
00:00:11 When you're in the moment, you don't manage time,
00:00:12 you manage focus.
00:00:14 - Except the fact that you're going to piss people off.
00:00:16 - If I had to say somebody that was really selfish for me,
00:00:19 it would be.
00:00:20 - Welcome to the show, Tim.
00:00:24 - It's been a long time, Jeff.
00:00:25 We've been trying to do this for a long, long time.
00:00:27 - It has.
00:00:28 - Even longer since, I think we met via phone
00:00:31 a couple years ago and we've been trying,
00:00:32 but even longer, I mean, it was nine years ago.
00:00:35 I just look back at when I read Relentless
00:00:37 for the first time and got exposed to you
00:00:40 and your approach, and I'll be honest,
00:00:42 you are my favorite author, and I don't just say that
00:00:44 'cause you're sitting here.
00:00:45 - Thank you.
00:00:46 - But not for the reasons most think.
00:00:47 I don't care that you worked with Michael Jordan
00:00:49 and Kobe Bryant and your past is amazing.
00:00:52 You were the first person that gave me permission
00:00:54 to be myself and solved a personal vulnerability
00:00:57 and a personal insecurity that I had.
00:00:59 And so normally we talk a lot about success formula
00:01:02 on this show, but I'm gonna use this time with you
00:01:03 because I wanna actually dig into the areas
00:01:06 that changed my life and also,
00:01:09 now when I say changed my life, I'm being honest.
00:01:11 You gave me permission to feel okay being a way
00:01:14 that others never made me feel comfortable.
00:01:17 - Better than okay.
00:01:18 That's what I said.
00:01:20 People just, accepting yourself and understanding
00:01:23 who you are is a first level of okay.
00:01:25 Then you have to take it to, then you have to continue
00:01:27 to take it another level, another level.
00:01:29 If you stop at okay, you'll never get to the level
00:01:32 of success that you've achieved
00:01:34 and you wanna continue to achieve.
00:01:37 But when we talked about Relentless,
00:01:39 one of the things that everybody said was,
00:01:42 "You didn't tell us what to do."
00:01:44 And I said, "Exactly."
00:01:45 Relentless didn't tell you what to do,
00:01:48 it gave you permission.
00:01:49 - It did.
00:01:50 It gave you permission to be yourself.
00:01:52 - Yes.
00:01:53 - And to accept the fact that you're going
00:01:55 to piss people off, you're gonna make sacrifices
00:01:57 that you don't, society says are not okay,
00:02:00 to achieve the pinnacle of greatness,
00:02:02 the best version of yourself.
00:02:03 - Yes.
00:02:04 - I used to get told all the time,
00:02:07 "You're too fanatical, you're too, one,
00:02:10 "laser focused on a goal, and you don't pay attention
00:02:12 "to balance."
00:02:14 And it used to make me feel really bad
00:02:16 because I felt like I wasn't being fair to my friends
00:02:18 and my group and I felt uncomfortable,
00:02:20 like a fish out of water.
00:02:21 Why can't I be okay sitting on a beach
00:02:23 on a Saturday drinking beers
00:02:25 and not thinking about what I'm working on?
00:02:26 Why can't I do those things?
00:02:28 So I wanna ask you, how do you handle
00:02:31 when someone's asking you about balance?
00:02:33 And obviously the word balance to me is a bullshit word,
00:02:36 but coming from your line of work
00:02:39 and who you've been around,
00:02:41 how do you address that balance issue in life?
00:02:43 - This is very easy for the audience.
00:02:45 I'll tell you right now, there's hundreds of books
00:02:47 out there on balance.
00:02:49 And everybody tells you, you have to find balance,
00:02:52 you have to find balance, you have to find balance.
00:02:54 First of all, you don't find balance, you create it.
00:02:58 And it's different for each individual out there.
00:03:02 The easiest way to describe it, there is no balance.
00:03:06 There isn't, there isn't.
00:03:09 - It's true, there is none because if I'm gonna be great
00:03:11 as a father, I'm gonna have to sacrifice something at work.
00:03:14 - Yes.
00:03:15 - If I'm gonna be great as a CEO or founder,
00:03:16 I'm gonna sacrifice something at home.
00:03:18 But as a human, when you're coaching your clients
00:03:20 and you're working with people,
00:03:22 how do you address that issue?
00:03:23 Because there's a pull at home and there's a pull at work.
00:03:26 And you're always leaving one side of the teeter-totter.
00:03:28 - And that's the key right there, what you just said.
00:03:31 So what's gonna happen is people want
00:03:33 the scales perfectly balanced.
00:03:35 It's not gonna happen.
00:03:37 Now what happens is when you try to find balance,
00:03:40 somebody else is controlling how those scales teeter.
00:03:45 When you create it, you control it.
00:03:47 - Sure.
00:03:48 - And that's the big difference between giving yourself
00:03:52 permission to be who you are.
00:03:55 So when you create balance, you create it for yourself.
00:03:59 You understand how the scales are gonna be balanced,
00:04:02 when they're gonna tip one way
00:04:04 and when they're gonna tip the other way.
00:04:06 You get to control.
00:04:07 You never want them all the way up and all the way down.
00:04:11 All right?
00:04:11 Majority of the time.
00:04:14 Sometimes it's going to be that way
00:04:17 and you have to be okay,
00:04:18 you have to be better than okay with that.
00:04:21 Your support system, who you have in your life,
00:04:25 who's being selfish for you,
00:04:28 is extremely important for you to create that balance
00:04:35 and for you to be able to tilt those scales
00:04:38 all the way on one side for a moment
00:04:41 and then be able to bounce back and not be judged.
00:04:45 - And not be judged or be okay being judged?
00:04:47 - And no, and not be judged.
00:04:51 When I talk about people talking about being okay with being,
00:04:55 you're going to be judged.
00:04:56 You're going to be judged.
00:04:57 When I talk about not being judged,
00:04:59 not from others, from yourself.
00:05:02 So what you were talking about earlier, think about it.
00:05:06 You were like, man, my friends were this,
00:05:09 my friends were that, all that.
00:05:11 So now you started to judge yourself.
00:05:14 So people worry so much about other people judging them,
00:05:17 other people, no, no.
00:05:17 What happens is the biggest judgment you do,
00:05:20 individuals do, is they start judging themselves
00:05:22 from what other individuals have told them.
00:05:24 Now they start to believe those things
00:05:26 and when they start believing those things,
00:05:28 you get farther away from who you are.
00:05:31 You get farther away from balance.
00:05:33 You get farther away from you creating happiness.
00:05:37 I use this analogy all the time.
00:05:43 If you want zero love for the audience, raise your hand.
00:05:48 No one's going to raise their hand.
00:05:52 Who wants zero success?
00:05:53 Raise your hand.
00:05:55 No one's going to raise their hand.
00:05:57 Who wants zero love?
00:05:59 Who wants zero money?
00:06:00 Who wants zero happiness?
00:06:02 No one's going to raise their hand.
00:06:05 What's the number on a perfectly balanced scale?
00:06:07 - What's the number?
00:06:08 - The number on a perfectly balanced scale.
00:06:11 It's a zero, right in the middle.
00:06:13 - Zero.
00:06:14 - It's a zero.
00:06:15 The number on a scale right in the middle,
00:06:20 a perfectly balanced scale is zero.
00:06:22 - Yeah, I don't want that.
00:06:24 - So if you're going in there
00:06:27 and you want to balance everything,
00:06:29 you know what, you'll get average.
00:06:31 You'll get what we taught, what you said earlier, okay.
00:06:34 You'll have an okay business.
00:06:36 You'll have an okay relationship with your kids.
00:06:39 You'll have an okay relationship
00:06:40 with your significant other.
00:06:42 You'll have an okay relationship with yourself.
00:06:45 And if that's what you're striving for,
00:06:50 then keep those scales balanced at the whole time.
00:06:53 Keep them balanced at the whole time.
00:06:55 And that's somebody else.
00:06:56 And it's funny, all the individuals that tell you
00:06:58 you need more balance in your life
00:07:00 are the most unbalanced individuals out there.
00:07:04 It's their own guilt that pushing onto you
00:07:09 because you're doing things they can't get over
00:07:13 their own judgment of themselves about.
00:07:15 They're like, man, look what he's pursuing.
00:07:18 Look what he's done.
00:07:18 And he's got a great relationship with his kids.
00:07:21 And he's got a great relationship with his significant other.
00:07:24 How's he doing?
00:07:27 So what happens is instead of them coming to you
00:07:31 and saying, wow, you did something
00:07:34 I was never able to create for myself,
00:07:37 they want to destroy what you created
00:07:39 because it's about, becomes about them, not about you.
00:07:42 - Their insecurity.
00:07:43 - Their insecurity, their lives, their guilt.
00:07:49 - So how would you suggest someone lead their life
00:07:53 in the manner with which they're not in that zero balance?
00:07:57 - You just said it, their life.
00:07:59 Lead their life.
00:08:02 You're so busy leading somebody else.
00:08:04 You're so busy.
00:08:05 Think about all the energy.
00:08:07 I always say this, the energy that you spend
00:08:11 being somebody you're not,
00:08:14 whatever stage you are in your life now,
00:08:19 think about if you took all that energy
00:08:22 being something you're not and you put into
00:08:27 who you actually are, how much farther
00:08:29 you would be in your life, not somebody else's life.
00:08:35 That's why I said when you have to have individuals
00:08:36 that are selfish for you,
00:08:38 you have those individuals around you that be like,
00:08:41 no, no, that's who he is.
00:08:44 I understand him.
00:08:45 They're the individuals that, hey, why are you slacking?
00:08:50 You shouldn't be out.
00:08:53 You need to do that.
00:08:53 You need to be training.
00:08:54 You need to be here.
00:08:55 You know what?
00:08:57 I got the kids.
00:08:58 I understand.
00:08:59 You gotta go.
00:09:00 I got them.
00:09:01 Now.
00:09:02 - That doesn't happen all the time.
00:09:03 - It doesn't happen all the time.
00:09:04 All right.
00:09:06 But the reward system is when you live an unbalanced life
00:09:10 and every successful individual out here
00:09:14 who's been truly successful
00:09:16 at whatever they achieved in life,
00:09:18 it could be a school teacher.
00:09:22 It could be a bus driver.
00:09:23 It could be an entrepreneur.
00:09:25 Whatever it is, you can divide your own definition
00:09:28 of success.
00:09:33 They've all had these moments where things didn't balance.
00:09:37 Things didn't work out,
00:09:40 but they had that other individual that stepped in
00:09:44 that was selfish for them.
00:09:45 But what they also did was they understood moments.
00:09:49 People don't understand moments.
00:09:52 And what I mean by understanding moments is
00:09:55 when you're in the moment of your business,
00:10:00 you're in that moment.
00:10:01 You're fully invested in that moment.
00:10:05 That's your zone.
00:10:06 When you're with your significant other,
00:10:10 you're fully invested in that moment.
00:10:14 And people get the moments as 30 seconds, a minute,
00:10:19 whatever it may, no, moments take time.
00:10:23 But the moments of balance changes.
00:10:26 So your business might require eight hours of your moment.
00:10:31 All right.
00:10:33 The next day, it may require two,
00:10:37 and your family requires eight.
00:10:39 And then on the other day, your kids.
00:10:45 So all those moments require you to be present
00:10:50 because that's how you create more time.
00:10:53 You know, there's a huge difference.
00:10:54 What we talk about is everybody manages time,
00:10:57 manages time, manages time.
00:10:59 When you're in the moment, you don't manage time,
00:11:01 you manage focus.
00:11:03 'Cause you can't be in the moment unless you're focused.
00:11:06 - Yep.
00:11:07 Who's selfish for you?
00:11:09 - Who is selfish for me?
00:11:13 If I had to say somebody that was really selfish for me,
00:11:18 it would be my business partner and my agent.
00:11:22 She is, she's like, she allows me to perform
00:11:25 at the highest level.
00:11:26 I can come in and do these things here
00:11:28 because she handles all the other nuances
00:11:31 that I don't even know about.
00:11:33 And you know, when somebody will come in and be like,
00:11:37 "Can we get, we want Tim to do this, this, and this."
00:11:39 She goes, "No, he's not doing that."
00:11:41 She already knows my message.
00:11:44 'Cause in order for me to perform at the highest level,
00:11:47 there's certain things I will do
00:11:51 and there's certain things I won't do.
00:11:53 It's just like with all my athletes.
00:11:55 I was the individual that was selfish for them,
00:11:57 for my business clients.
00:11:59 I'm the individual that is selfish for them.
00:12:02 I have to be.
00:12:04 I have to be.
00:12:05 And it's very unique to find that individual.
00:12:08 And you know what's funny also?
00:12:09 Your kids will be selfish for you also.
00:12:14 - Yes.
00:12:15 - They will.
00:12:16 Your kids will be, my daughters are selfish for me.
00:12:20 They understand.
00:12:21 They be like, "You know what?
00:12:23 I get that.
00:12:26 I get that."
00:12:27 So what they do, they'll go like,
00:12:28 "Hey, let me talk to mom about this."
00:12:32 All right, but when they do reach out
00:12:34 in certain moments, I'm always present.
00:12:39 - And focused.
00:12:41 - Present and focused.
00:12:42 You know, here's the thing.
00:12:47 I use present in this scenario here, all right?
00:12:51 When you're given a gift at Christmas time,
00:12:56 your birthday, anniversaries, whatever it is,
00:13:00 I don't believe in the Valentines and all that stuff.
00:13:03 I'm not a big fan of that kind of stuff here.
00:13:08 We'll get into that later maybe.
00:13:11 But the thing about a present is,
00:13:17 most people, when they unwrap the present,
00:13:22 they never, they unwrap the present,
00:13:30 but they never fully use the gift
00:13:34 that's lying inside that present.
00:13:37 And when you have your kids,
00:13:44 and they give you those moments,
00:13:46 and you're present, and you're present with them,
00:13:51 and they're present with you,
00:13:52 it's a gift that has to be unwrapped completely.
00:13:58 It has to be utilized.
00:14:00 It has to be appreciated.
00:14:01 So when somebody gives you a present,
00:14:06 and you unwrap it, really understand the gift.
00:14:12 So you can, the analogy of being present in a relationship,
00:14:16 being present with you, being present in the moment,
00:14:19 being present at a sporting event,
00:14:23 like my clients had to be, to be put them in the zone.
00:14:26 The zone is a gift.
00:14:28 The present is a gift, but only if you unwrap it
00:14:32 and utilize it to its fullest extent.
00:14:35 - It's very hard to effectively do that sometimes,
00:14:41 especially when--
00:14:42 - It's supposed to be hard.
00:14:43 Otherwise, we'd all be doing it.
00:14:44 - Sure, of course.
00:14:46 But when you're doing it, for example,
00:14:48 I'm with my daughter at her horse show,
00:14:51 but I'm neck deep in a business project,
00:14:53 and I'm trying to be present,
00:14:55 but my brain wants to be on what I'm really working on.
00:14:59 How would you coach me to turn that off
00:15:03 and stay focused and present at that horse show
00:15:05 and with my daughter?
00:15:06 - So here's the thing,
00:15:07 and another analogy that's going to really hurt,
00:15:12 that I hate out there,
00:15:13 and I am not a big cliche person.
00:15:16 I fricking hate cliches.
00:15:19 I don't use them.
00:15:20 I don't believe in them.
00:15:21 I don't believe in motivation either.
00:15:25 I believe in elevation.
00:15:26 I don't believe in motivation.
00:15:28 Motivation is so entry level.
00:15:32 But what you talk about here
00:15:33 is everyone talks about a switch.
00:15:36 Everybody talks about the switch.
00:15:38 And you hear this in sports all the time.
00:15:40 Oh man, he or she has the ability
00:15:43 or they have the ability to turn on the switch.
00:15:45 There is no switch.
00:15:46 There is no switch.
00:15:49 Comparative individuals like yourself, like me,
00:15:53 like the top individuals you know,
00:15:56 if you took this building,
00:15:59 how many square feet do you have in this total complex
00:16:03 and all the things?
00:16:04 - 100,000?
00:16:05 - 100,000.
00:16:06 If you powered everything off,
00:16:08 like you just killed everything,
00:16:10 the amount of energy it would take
00:16:12 for everything to come back on, a lot.
00:16:15 A lot, all right?
00:16:18 And you got people working here
00:16:20 at all different hours and so forth.
00:16:22 It's a dimmer.
00:16:26 There is no switch.
00:16:29 It's a dimmer, all right?
00:16:32 And you get to control
00:16:34 where that light shines on and where it gets dimmed on.
00:16:39 The issue that you have and everybody has it, all right?
00:16:47 Even the dimmer at its lowest point,
00:16:50 it's still shining,
00:16:53 it's still generating a little bit of energy.
00:16:56 It's still generating a little bit of power, all right?
00:17:01 So to answer your question,
00:17:03 are you gonna be able to turn it all the way off?
00:17:07 Absolutely not.
00:17:08 You're not, because individuals like yourself,
00:17:13 individuals like me, we have to be wound up.
00:17:18 But we're so uncomfortable being unwound.
00:17:21 And you have me, you know, when people talk about balance,
00:17:23 they talk about the same thing.
00:17:24 Man, you need to unwind a little bit.
00:17:26 You need to relax.
00:17:26 It's like the worst thing you could tell us.
00:17:29 It's like, I am relaxed.
00:17:31 I just relax in a different way than you relax.
00:17:35 - The chaos is relaxing.
00:17:36 - Yeah, all right?
00:17:37 So are you going to be 100% in that moment the whole time?
00:17:43 No.
00:17:48 But you can work on the scale.
00:17:51 Say, you know what?
00:17:52 I was there 80% time.
00:17:54 Now I'm gonna go to 82.
00:17:55 Now I'm gonna go to 90.
00:17:56 And there will be times where you'll be just like,
00:17:59 I'm here.
00:18:01 I'm here.
00:18:02 It's a constant, that's something that's constantly evolving.
00:18:06 That's something that constantly,
00:18:07 and we beat ourselves up about it all the time.
00:18:11 So, you know, we were like, okay, well,
00:18:13 I wasn't all the way there
00:18:15 'cause I was thinking about this thing.
00:18:19 And I was thinking about that thing.
00:18:22 All right?
00:18:23 That's who you are.
00:18:25 That's who you are.
00:18:28 So people try to change.
00:18:30 When we talk about give you permission to be you,
00:18:34 all right, you're a unique individual.
00:18:37 Every individual out there who's a you
00:18:39 is a unique individual.
00:18:41 Because just because somebody else can sit at an event
00:18:46 or sit at a concert or sit at something
00:18:49 and not think about anything else,
00:18:54 that's not you.
00:18:57 - Yeah.
00:18:58 It also, I struggle in those events
00:19:00 because I genuinely can't wait for it to be over.
00:19:05 - Yeah, so I don't share a whole lot of personal stories,
00:19:09 but when I was working with Kobe,
00:19:13 living in Orange County,
00:19:20 my daughter, still in Chicago, all right?
00:19:28 Sixth or seventh grade, somewhere in that thing.
00:19:33 I used to train Kobe early in the morning.
00:19:37 And I would know his schedule.
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00:20:37 - Go to the airport.
00:20:41 This is when you could just go there and buy a ticket,
00:20:45 just walk up to the counter,
00:20:47 said I need a round trip ticket to Chicago.
00:20:49 I would go to Chicago, I'd land at like 2.35,
00:20:55 a volleyball game was at four o'clock.
00:20:57 I'd go see a volleyball game back at 7.30,
00:21:04 on a 7.30 flight.
00:21:06 'Cause my client was waiting for me the next morning.
00:21:12 There were many times I didn't even get a chance
00:21:17 to speak to her during those times.
00:21:18 - But you were there.
00:21:20 - But I was there.
00:21:24 I was there.
00:21:25 She remembers that.
00:21:28 - Does she ever, has she ever made comments to you
00:21:32 about those situations, like you weren't really there?
00:21:36 - Not once, not once.
00:21:38 And you know why?
00:21:39 She didn't wanna change dad.
00:21:44 And now as they get older, they understand that drive.
00:21:53 They understand that sacrifice
00:21:55 because they get to see and be a part
00:21:59 of everything that you've built.
00:22:04 All right, they get to see it.
00:22:09 Now in parenting, when I talk about being selfish,
00:22:13 having somebody that's selfish for you,
00:22:16 when you have somebody who's as driven as you are,
00:22:21 if you have a family structure
00:22:26 where you have an individual
00:22:28 who can balance those needs at home
00:22:33 while you're so unbalanced,
00:22:37 then as the child grows and evolves and gets older,
00:22:46 now you can balance more things for them.
00:22:51 So now you get to be more selfish for your significant other.
00:22:56 So there's always a little, there's always a,
00:23:02 now, if that moment doesn't happen,
00:23:05 or if only one person is winning.
00:23:09 - That's a different story.
00:23:11 - That's a completely different story.
00:23:16 So when I was a kid,
00:23:17 I used to strive to win at everything I did.
00:23:21 - You used to what, I'm sorry?
00:23:22 - Strive to win at everything I did.
00:23:25 And I'd win and I was never fulfilled.
00:23:27 And I came to the conclusion that I kinda hated losing more
00:23:32 than I enjoyed the taste of winning.
00:23:34 And that's what drove me.
00:23:35 But that also leads to a lot of unfulfilled moments
00:23:39 because as soon as we won, what's next?
00:23:42 - Well, you won.
00:23:43 That's a fulfillment right there.
00:23:45 Your next is, there's individuals out there
00:23:50 that celebrate long.
00:23:53 I have this thing, celebrate hard, don't celebrate long.
00:24:00 Otherwise you will not be able to celebrate again.
00:24:04 You will not be able to celebrate again.
00:24:06 All right, there's a thing about achieving something
00:24:09 and the drive to what's next, what's next.
00:24:15 You know, in the book "Winning" we talk about,
00:24:17 you know, everyone says, you know,
00:24:19 it's a marathon, not a sprint.
00:24:21 No, let me tell you this, another cliche.
00:24:24 All right, if you had infinite time in your life,
00:24:30 then it's a marathon.
00:24:34 Newsflash for everybody out there, folks.
00:24:38 We ain't around here forever.
00:24:39 We ain't.
00:24:41 If you know how that, how to change that,
00:24:45 you're his next guest, all right?
00:24:48 And I will be here to listen to that.
00:24:51 So what it is, it's many sprints
00:24:58 inside a marathon of life
00:25:01 where the winning line, finish line is constantly changing.
00:25:08 It's constantly moving.
00:25:09 It's constantly evolving.
00:25:12 So every marathon runner that goes out there,
00:25:17 when they go out and run the next marathon,
00:25:21 what do they try to do?
00:25:23 They try to beat their time.
00:25:24 - For sure.
00:25:25 - Then I like, I'm not worried about the competition.
00:25:27 I'm not worried, this was my time.
00:25:30 I want to beat it.
00:25:31 I want to beat it.
00:25:33 I want to, I need to do it better.
00:25:35 I need to do it better.
00:25:36 I need to do it better because at some point,
00:25:40 from a physicality standpoint,
00:25:41 we're not going to be able to do it.
00:25:43 So it's a sprint within that marathon
00:25:45 to continue to evolve, continue to get better,
00:25:47 to continue to evolve.
00:25:51 There should be joy in everything you do.
00:25:52 There should be, listen, when you win,
00:25:54 there's that moment of joy.
00:25:57 There is that moment of joy.
00:25:59 But again, for some individuals,
00:26:03 that moment may last a lifetime,
00:26:06 and other individuals, that moment may last 30 seconds.
00:26:10 You know, you got to, you know,
00:26:13 you showed me a picture earlier of you and Colby.
00:26:16 I use this analogy.
00:26:19 Colby played 20 years in the NBA, 20.
00:26:22 He was champion five times.
00:26:28 So 15 years he lost.
00:26:33 I don't know how many, I don't have a calculator on it,
00:26:38 but if you were to take 20 years
00:26:42 and give me the amount of days 20 years is,
00:26:46 he was able to call himself a champion for five days.
00:26:52 For five days.
00:26:57 - Yeah.
00:26:58 - Out of 20 years, he was a champion.
00:27:01 'Cause the moment they won,
00:27:03 the next year Vegas had somebody else winning,
00:27:06 and that moment was like, I got to get back to work.
00:27:09 I got to get back to work.
00:27:12 Yeah, there's the parade and all these other things
00:27:15 and so forth.
00:27:18 An interesting story that I've never shared
00:27:20 with anybody else is, you know, before every parade,
00:27:24 we worked out.
00:27:27 - I did not.
00:27:31 - Yeah.
00:27:32 It wasn't like, before every parade,
00:27:37 there was a training session.
00:27:39 There was a workout.
00:27:41 - Chris Bosh had a story, I think right after
00:27:47 one of those championships,
00:27:49 and they were going to the Team USA,
00:27:51 and he wanted to be the first one at breakfast.
00:27:53 And I heard him say this story, he said,
00:27:55 "I woke up early to be the first one."
00:27:56 - I was there.
00:27:57 - You were there?
00:27:58 - I was there.
00:27:59 - Colby had already worked out and was icing his knees.
00:28:00 - Yeah, we were already done.
00:28:02 That was just, that was workout one.
00:28:04 - And he had just won the championship.
00:28:06 And Bosh had been, he said,
00:28:07 "I'd been off for a few months 'cause we didn't,
00:28:09 and I was exhausted."
00:28:10 - We already won.
00:28:14 He was already there.
00:28:15 We were already done.
00:28:17 So the length of moments, I have individuals
00:28:19 that won championships 15 years ago
00:28:22 that are still celebrating.
00:28:23 You know, you have individuals that you know
00:28:27 that their pinnacle was high school.
00:28:30 - Yes, that's scary.
00:28:32 - It is scary.
00:28:33 You know, I don't get invited to any of my high school
00:28:38 reunion stuff or any of my college stuff
00:28:41 because they're like, "Oh, we don't want Grover around
00:28:45 'cause Grover's gonna tell us all the stuff."
00:28:47 Yeah, we just, and I'm not interested.
00:28:49 If somebody says, "You remember so-and-so from high school?"
00:28:51 I'll be honest, I say, "I don't."
00:28:53 - Yeah.
00:28:55 - I don't.
00:28:56 I'm a clear mind to have my best days yesterday.
00:28:59 I want my best day tomorrow.
00:29:00 I work for that.
00:29:03 - You look at what it,
00:29:05 MJ, Colby, Wade, Tom Brady, Serena, Derek Jeter,
00:29:12 Wayne Gretzky, I mean, the list just goes on
00:29:19 and on.
00:29:20 They always say they wanna be remembered more
00:29:25 for than just an athlete.
00:29:28 That's great, but if that's all they were,
00:29:33 if that's all they're remembered for, they failed.
00:29:37 - Yep.
00:29:38 - They may have won in their particular endeavor
00:29:41 during that time, but the time after,
00:29:46 the moments that came in after all that, we failed.
00:29:51 - This is true for athletes on a team,
00:29:53 and you dealt with this when you were coaching athletes,
00:29:55 but you coach more, today you coach a lot
00:29:57 of business owners.
00:29:58 - A lot of business owners.
00:29:59 - Founders and entrepreneurs and leaders.
00:30:02 The challenge for a lot of us is when you put a team
00:30:06 together, your standard and your level of what you expect
00:30:10 the team to deliver is different than the masses.
00:30:13 - Always gonna be.
00:30:15 It always is.
00:30:16 - And the ability to raise them up and not lower
00:30:19 your standards to meet their level of completion.
00:30:22 I have a thing in my house.
00:30:23 We're not done when you can check the box.
00:30:25 We're done when you can't possibly do it any better.
00:30:27 Doesn't always work.
00:30:28 My kids don't always listen, but that's what I'm pushing.
00:30:31 It's harder with adults.
00:30:33 I'm not their parent.
00:30:34 I don't get to tell them what to do.
00:30:36 I get to drive them, set a vision and go.
00:30:38 How do you coach your current business clients
00:30:41 when they're dealing with that in their team environment?
00:30:43 Because as an individual contributor,
00:30:45 like Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan,
00:30:47 he has a much bigger way to impact the outcome
00:30:50 than in a big organization where you need
00:30:52 all your departments sitting remarkable as your standard.
00:30:56 How do you coach?
00:30:57 - So I have this big thing with identity and style.
00:31:01 I allow, I tell business leaders, I said,
00:31:08 let every, and this is really important in today's society.
00:31:13 You have to let each individual have their own style.
00:31:17 You look at all the teams.
00:31:20 Shaq did his thing his way.
00:31:22 Kobe did it his way.
00:31:23 Wade did it his way.
00:31:23 LeBron did it his way.
00:31:25 MJ did it his way.
00:31:27 Dennis definitely did it a different way.
00:31:31 But can you form one mental identity?
00:31:34 Can you form one?
00:31:37 And is that identity going to be at the same level
00:31:42 for each individual?
00:31:43 No, it's just not.
00:31:45 And as a leader, it will literally drive you crazy
00:31:49 where you kind of say, man, I just,
00:31:51 why can't they get this?
00:31:56 Why won't they do this little extra?
00:31:57 You look at, when you talked earlier about relentless,
00:32:01 where it says it gave you permission to be you.
00:32:04 You as a leader have to give permission
00:32:07 to those individuals to be themselves.
00:32:11 And you as being on top,
00:32:18 how much of themselves can you tolerate
00:32:23 and how much of themselves is invaluable to the team?
00:32:28 No, if you expect everybody to be who you are
00:32:36 and identify exactly, exactly the same personality traits,
00:32:41 the same everything you have,
00:32:43 in relentless, we talk about the coolers,
00:32:45 the closers, and the cleaners.
00:32:46 You can't have a full staff of cleaners.
00:32:51 You just can't.
00:32:52 You can't have a full staff of closers.
00:32:53 You can't have a full staff of coolers.
00:32:56 You as a leader, what you have to do is you take the model.
00:33:02 All right?
00:33:05 You take your business plan.
00:33:08 You look at it.
00:33:14 And if it's on your laptop, if it's on a board,
00:33:19 it's on a piece of paper, break it into pieces.
00:33:23 Just break it into pieces.
00:33:26 All right?
00:33:28 And have your key individuals.
00:33:30 'Cause everybody, everything starts with broken.
00:33:35 Everything starts with broken.
00:33:36 There's not an individual in here
00:33:39 that if you haven't had trauma
00:33:41 and you haven't been broken at some point in your life
00:33:45 where there's been an incident,
00:33:47 you're never gonna discover who you are.
00:33:51 So now, you let those individuals come in
00:33:54 and let them pick up the pieces that are necessary for them
00:34:01 and leave the other pieces on the ground.
00:34:05 Because what happens is everybody, you break something.
00:34:09 We've all broken something as a child
00:34:11 and the parents say, "Pick it up."
00:34:14 Or you break something and they're not around
00:34:17 and you try to pick it up
00:34:18 and you try to piece it together again
00:34:20 and you're like, "No one's gonna, no one's gonna."
00:34:22 It's never gonna look the same.
00:34:24 It's never gonna look the same.
00:34:27 And what we want as leaders
00:34:28 is we want everybody to look the same.
00:34:30 Instead of allowing the individuals
00:34:35 to magnify their pieces that are unique to them,
00:34:39 their experiences, their knowledge,
00:34:42 having them understand that the times in their life
00:34:50 where they were broken
00:34:52 and they got a chance to pick up the pieces
00:34:54 the way they wanted to pick it up
00:34:56 is allowing them to be you.
00:34:58 And you get to a point, some point in life where I'm at,
00:35:05 I've been broken so many times, you can't break me anymore.
00:35:08 You literally can't break me anymore, you can't.
00:35:10 - It's a good place to be.
00:35:13 - The perfect place to be.
00:35:15 But it took years and years of being broken, all right,
00:35:20 and understanding, you know what, I need this piece.
00:35:24 I don't need this piece.
00:35:25 And when people, it's funny,
00:35:27 when they try to put the pieces back together again,
00:35:32 they're trying, I wanna be whole.
00:35:34 You know what, no, you don't wanna be whole.
00:35:36 There are gonna be some pieces that don't fit.
00:35:38 That's when an individual who's selfish for you,
00:35:43 that's when a significant other comes in
00:35:45 and they fit those pieces,
00:35:47 they're adding those pieces to you
00:35:50 to make you complete, to make you whole.
00:35:52 That's leadership, that's leadership.
00:35:55 - But you don't lower your standards.
00:35:56 - Never lower your standards.
00:35:57 Never, ever lower your standards, all right.
00:36:01 I say, we're never gonna come,
00:36:04 I'm never going to come down, all right.
00:36:06 You have to come to my level
00:36:09 or as close to that level as you can, all right.
00:36:13 And it's 'cause I'm gonna keep moving.
00:36:15 I'm gonna keep moving.
00:36:16 You know, MJ in the last dance,
00:36:19 winning has a price, leadership has a price, all right.
00:36:23 Your price may be completely different than anybody else's,
00:36:30 but I'm not lowering my standards, all right.
00:36:34 You're at the point in your business, in your life,
00:36:38 how old are you?
00:36:39 - 40. - 40, all right.
00:36:40 - I don't like saying that, but 40.
00:36:44 - People come in and say,
00:36:48 when you first got in the business,
00:36:52 before you even got into this business,
00:36:55 everyone was telling you,
00:36:58 raise the bar, raise the bar, raise the bar, all right.
00:37:05 You know where the best place is to be?
00:37:07 When there is no bar, because when there is no bar,
00:37:12 there are no limitations.
00:37:14 'Cause every time you have a bar,
00:37:16 you're like, there's a limitation,
00:37:18 there's a limitation, there's a limitation.
00:37:20 - It's like the four minute mile.
00:37:22 - Throw the bar out.
00:37:23 There is no bar.
00:37:26 Set unrealistic expectations and expect to achieve them.
00:37:33 Unrealistic expectations and expect to achieve them.
00:37:38 And then now, you wanna see if your team is all in?
00:37:41 All right, they only have to say a word.
00:37:45 When they look at the numbers, when you tell them,
00:37:48 you can just look at them and be like,
00:37:51 yes, yes, no, maybe, yes, yes, yes.
00:37:53 You could just, people that come in and just say,
00:37:56 you know what?
00:37:57 You have like, this is crazy, there's not,
00:38:01 you already know it now.
00:38:03 Now you know if that person is better suited
00:38:06 for a cleaner position, or they're better suited
00:38:08 for a closer position, or they're better suited
00:38:12 for a cooler position, or they're not suited
00:38:15 for a position at all.
00:38:17 - So do you, you do advise having coolers on the team?
00:38:20 - Yeah, you have to have coolers on the team.
00:38:23 Coolers is the individual that is gonna show up
00:38:27 every single day, at the same time,
00:38:30 they're gonna do exactly what you tell them.
00:38:31 They're the ones that exactly what,
00:38:33 they're gonna do it, they're not gonna do anything more,
00:38:37 they're not gonna do anything less.
00:38:38 They're consistent, they are consistent.
00:38:42 I asked one of my athletes years ago,
00:38:45 and we used to drink a lot, I asked him,
00:38:46 how's your drink, and he goes, consistent.
00:38:49 Okay, you know, I wasn't getting him to quit.
00:38:52 I didn't want him to go up, I didn't want him to go down.
00:38:56 He said, consistent.
00:38:57 So now I knew what mentality I was,
00:39:00 what mentality I was dealing with.
00:39:02 Now, you have to put the coolers in a position
00:39:06 where there isn't a whole lot that's required.
00:39:13 - Right.
00:39:14 - But everybody needs the basics.
00:39:16 Now remember, the understanding about this, about a cooler,
00:39:19 just because an individual's a cooler in one thing,
00:39:22 doesn't mean they're not a cleaner in something else.
00:39:25 Now you got people that come to work and be like,
00:39:28 they produce the minimum amount of,
00:39:31 whatever you tell them to do, they come in.
00:39:33 And you go look at their homes,
00:39:36 their relationships with their kids,
00:39:38 their cleaners in relationships with their kids.
00:39:41 Or they have a charitable endeavor,
00:39:43 or their religious beliefs or something.
00:39:46 So just because a person is a cooler in one thing,
00:39:49 they'll be like, they can be cleaners in something else.
00:39:53 Inside a business structure here,
00:39:56 you might have an individual who's a cooler
00:40:01 at this position, but then when you shift them
00:40:03 to something else, all of a sudden they're like,
00:40:05 they just, you're just like, what the hell that happened?
00:40:07 It's like taking an athlete, taking a,
00:40:10 you know, in the NFL, this is very prevalent.
00:40:14 They'll look at an individual,
00:40:16 this individual was extremely successful
00:40:19 at this certain position in college.
00:40:21 But then they come into the NFL,
00:40:22 they move them to something completely different.
00:40:25 And that person's career just like,
00:40:27 - Yeah.
00:40:28 - Just takes off.
00:40:30 So you as a leader is having the ability
00:40:33 to see those things in those individuals.
00:40:36 And being able to take those pieces and move them around.
00:40:40 When I talked earlier about that broken piece,
00:40:43 is you as a leader now have to find
00:40:48 that piece that completes that individual.
00:40:52 - Hey there, it's your host Jeff Fenster.
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00:41:41 That's my responsibility.
00:41:46 - That's your responsibility.
00:41:48 Or whosoever else it is.
00:41:49 It's like, okay, you know what?
00:41:51 Yeah, you know, that's why I said,
00:41:53 you don't want, when a person is broken,
00:41:55 if they come back whole,
00:41:56 they're coming back exactly the same.
00:41:58 I want you to leave some pieces,
00:42:00 I want you to leave some pieces down.
00:42:02 Now this is where the trust factor comes in
00:42:03 with another individual.
00:42:05 Said, do I trust my leadership team enough
00:42:08 to allow that individual to fill that piece for me?
00:42:13 MJ won six championships.
00:42:16 He didn't hit the game winning shot on all six.
00:42:20 Paxton?
00:42:21 - Kerr.
00:42:22 - Kerr.
00:42:23 All right.
00:42:25 - Kerr did the keynote when I graduated college at U of A
00:42:28 and talked about that moment.
00:42:29 - Yeah.
00:42:30 And he's turned it into those things.
00:42:33 And you look at Steve, before he got to the Bulls,
00:42:36 Steve's career was almost done.
00:42:38 It was almost done.
00:42:42 Now he came in, he came in as not a completely broken player
00:42:47 but somewhere broken, all right?
00:42:52 And he picked up the pieces and the rest,
00:42:54 Phil Jackson and the rest of the team
00:42:57 and Scotty and MJ and Dennis and all of them
00:43:00 put those little pieces in those individuals
00:43:02 that allowed him to not only be excel at basketball,
00:43:07 excel as a general manager, excel as a coach.
00:43:13 No, so just no one would call, from a skill standpoint,
00:43:20 no one would call Steve a cleaner as a basketball player
00:43:25 even though he had cleaner moments.
00:43:27 - Sure.
00:43:27 - All right?
00:43:28 He's a cleaner coach for sure.
00:43:32 - Yeah.
00:43:33 - For sure.
00:43:35 - He's a modern day Phil.
00:43:36 - Yeah.
00:43:37 So you look at those different things,
00:43:41 that's what I talk about.
00:43:43 When you look at somebody, you're like, eh.
00:43:45 Don't be, just like you don't want,
00:43:48 just like you judge yourself,
00:43:50 remember other individuals are judging themselves also.
00:43:54 And now when another person starts,
00:43:56 when they know other people are judging them also,
00:44:01 their judgment on themselves grows even more and more.
00:44:06 Now you as a leader start to lose that person.
00:44:11 Start to lose that person.
00:44:13 - So the audience of the show,
00:44:17 a lot of them are aspiring to achieve
00:44:20 that level of greatness.
00:44:21 And there's a major blockage that I have found
00:44:23 through talking with a lot of these folks.
00:44:24 And that is that they think that
00:44:27 because they do all the right things, they should win.
00:44:29 And that life's not fair, winning should be fair.
00:44:32 That if I outwork you and work 20 hours,
00:44:36 and I try to explain to them, life's not fair.
00:44:38 It's meant to be an equal opportunity,
00:44:40 but that's the fairness, not the result.
00:44:42 You talk a lot in your book about the price of winning
00:44:46 and winning is not fair.
00:44:47 - No.
00:44:49 - How would you, what would you say to them
00:44:51 when you hear those excuses directly?
00:44:54 That Tim, I've done everything I'm supposed to do.
00:44:57 I'm not getting the result, I didn't win.
00:44:59 - Working hard does not guarantee success.
00:45:11 A lot of individuals in life work hard.
00:45:14 Are you working hard at the right things?
00:45:17 All right.
00:45:18 Life is not going to be fair.
00:45:21 Winning is not going to be fair.
00:45:25 If you're looking for things to be fair,
00:45:29 you've already lost.
00:45:30 You've already lost.
00:45:33 So 'cause what's happening is
00:45:35 when you are working hard,
00:45:41 when you said you did everything out there
00:45:46 and it wasn't fair,
00:45:51 you started with the wrong language.
00:45:55 So what you did was you already moved
00:46:01 the finish line closer to you.
00:46:04 All right.
00:46:06 You already, in your mind, you were like,
00:46:10 "I'm not going to win."
00:46:12 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:14 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:16 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:18 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:20 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:22 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:24 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:26 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:28 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:30 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:32 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:34 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:36 You're like, "I'm not going to win."
00:46:38 You're looking for that clear,
00:46:40 you're looking for a clear path.
00:46:44 And there is no path.
00:46:46 There literally is no path.
00:46:52 There's formulas.
00:46:56 There are ingredients.
00:46:58 But when you look for fare,
00:47:04 you look for the same formula
00:47:06 and same ingredients
00:47:08 that everybody else is putting into it.
00:47:10 The people that break those barriers,
00:47:14 that sometimes win over you
00:47:17 when you did the exact same thing
00:47:19 over and over again.
00:47:21 They added something unique
00:47:28 to that ingredient.
00:47:30 They added something unique
00:47:32 to that formula.
00:47:35 In your franchises,
00:47:37 there's something unique
00:47:43 that separates it from everything else.
00:47:47 There's something that's...
00:47:49 This is part of my identity.
00:47:51 This is part of who I am.
00:47:55 That's why you win.
00:48:02 The next person here is,
00:48:04 you're looking for fare,
00:48:05 you're looking for everything to be equal.
00:48:08 Well, what is equal?
00:48:10 That means you're next to that.
00:48:12 It's the same.
00:48:13 - Yeah, mediocre.
00:48:15 - Yeah, it's the same.
00:48:18 So when you try to copy things
00:48:24 exactly how somebody else did it
00:48:27 over and over again,
00:48:29 and you lose your ability
00:48:31 for your instincts to trust you
00:48:34 to be able to understand
00:48:36 what do I need to add,
00:48:40 what's unique to me,
00:48:41 what's different about what I do,
00:48:44 and not be afraid to show it,
00:48:47 now you start to separate yourself.
00:48:49 Now, is that going to guarantee a win?
00:48:50 Absolutely not.
00:48:52 Nobody worked harder
00:48:54 and longer than my clients.
00:48:57 We talked about Kobe, 20 years.
00:48:59 I wasn't with him for 20 years.
00:49:01 If it was just about putting in the work,
00:49:03 if it was just about putting in the hours,
00:49:08 the sweat equity, the mental toughness,
00:49:10 all this thing that you would describe,
00:49:12 the health and so on,
00:49:14 he should have been 20 for 20.
00:49:17 He had one of the best,
00:49:19 he had arguably one of the most dominant players,
00:49:23 big man ever to play with Shaq.
00:49:27 They didn't win every single year.
00:49:29 So your expectations
00:49:36 aren't always going to be
00:49:43 included in those formula and ingredients,
00:49:50 because everybody has expectations of greatness.
00:49:54 Everybody has expectations of winning.
00:49:57 Everybody has expectations of being the best.
00:50:01 I tell you the one thing you can do
00:50:03 for everybody in the audience,
00:50:05 this is going to be real easy.
00:50:08 When you didn't win,
00:50:13 and you didn't get something
00:50:17 that you worked really, really hard for,
00:50:22 and you talk to an individual,
00:50:24 and I always know this when an individual says,
00:50:26 "Man, I tried my best.
00:50:28 "I tried my best."
00:50:31 And I said, "Did you try your best
00:50:35 "or did you do your best?"
00:50:37 - There's a difference. - There's a huge difference.
00:50:43 - And that's where all the gold is.
00:50:45 - Right there.
00:50:47 'Cause if you try your best,
00:50:50 you leave yourself an out.
00:50:53 You leave yourself an out.
00:50:56 - And accepting when you didn't do your best.
00:50:59 'Cause we can't always do our best.
00:51:01 - Right.
00:51:02 But every single time,
00:51:05 if you come up to me and said,
00:51:07 "Man, I did my best."
00:51:09 Or when I ask an individual,
00:51:10 and you say, "Did you do your best?"
00:51:12 And then they look at me and they're like,
00:51:14 "You know, actually I didn't."
00:51:16 Or they walk away and sometimes,
00:51:18 "Man, F you Tim, you don't know."
00:51:20 Okay?
00:51:21 - Yeah. - Yeah.
00:51:22 So there's a huge difference.
00:51:26 It's...
00:51:27 When people ask a question,
00:51:30 they usually know the answer.
00:51:32 And everyone talks about you,
00:51:35 another thing that we hear all the time,
00:51:38 about you gotta look at yourself in the mirror.
00:51:41 All right?
00:51:43 It's what you don't see in the mirror.
00:51:46 (silence)
00:51:49 That's the difference between
00:51:51 doing your best and trying your best.
00:51:53 It's what you're not...
00:51:54 It's not most people are willing
00:51:56 to really see that individual
00:51:59 because now that individual is not...
00:52:02 They're not gonna lie to you.
00:52:04 - And they're flawed.
00:52:05 - They are not...
00:52:06 They are 100% flawed.
00:52:09 We are 100% flawed.
00:52:11 You have...
00:52:12 When you start looking into
00:52:15 the mirror and you're like...
00:52:18 You're trying to look at yourself
00:52:19 and you're trying to look at these different things.
00:52:22 You're dealing with ghosts
00:52:27 that don't exist.
00:52:30 Because you're like,
00:52:31 "Oh, I don't see anything here.
00:52:32 "This is for..."
00:52:33 When you start to look in that mirror
00:52:35 and you look really, really deep,
00:52:37 you start to deal with the ghosts
00:52:39 that actually do exist.
00:52:41 The skeletons.
00:52:45 The ones that you hid away.
00:52:48 The ones that you didn't want to deal with.
00:52:51 The balance that you talked about.
00:52:55 Not being able to be
00:52:57 always in that moment.
00:53:02 Understanding...
00:53:03 Most people take those skeletons,
00:53:07 most people take those ghosts
00:53:09 and they try to push them in that closet.
00:53:12 They try to push them in that closet.
00:53:14 And when you start pushing them in that closet,
00:53:16 you become farther, farther away from who you are.
00:53:20 And people try to...
00:53:23 When they try to hide stuff in their closet
00:53:26 so they don't want to deal...
00:53:28 They don't want to deal with the ghosts
00:53:30 that actually exist.
00:53:32 Those are some of your most powerful tools.
00:53:35 And they're just sitting in the closet
00:53:37 gathering dust over and over and over again.
00:53:41 You have to bring all of you
00:53:43 because you never know what you're going to need
00:53:45 in that particular situation.
00:53:48 And if half of you is sitting in the closet
00:53:50 that you've locked up in there
00:53:52 and a certain situation arises
00:53:54 or a certain competition arises
00:53:57 and competition is coming,
00:53:58 another adversary, whatever it is.
00:54:01 You may need that skeleton
00:54:08 because that skeleton knows exactly who you are.
00:54:11 It knows everything about you.
00:54:14 Everything.
00:54:16 Everything.
00:54:18 All right?
00:54:19 And it'll be like, "Come on. Dude, come on.
00:54:22 "I can help you with this.
00:54:23 "I can help you with this."
00:54:25 And you're like...
00:54:26 - It's an uncomfortable place to go.
00:54:28 - It's a very uncomfortable place to go, but...
00:54:32 - That's where success comes.
00:54:35 - Everybody knows that.
00:54:37 Everybody knows you have to be...
00:54:39 You got to put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
00:54:43 You think my guys, my athletes,
00:54:46 want to have me show up
00:54:49 after they've played 40-plus minutes in a game
00:54:52 or whatever they've done
00:54:53 and say, "Hey, come on. Let's go."
00:54:55 Or a CO's had a bad day
00:54:58 whether it's in his personal life or at work
00:55:01 and I said, "Open up.
00:55:03 "I need to know what the hell happened."
00:55:06 Because if you're not honest with me
00:55:08 and you're not honest with yourself,
00:55:10 I can't help you.
00:55:12 I can't help you.
00:55:13 And most...
00:55:14 Everyone likes to tell you how great things are.
00:55:18 All right?
00:55:19 Well, then you don't need me.
00:55:21 All right?
00:55:23 And then when you start to walk out the door,
00:55:25 I'm like, "Okay.
00:55:26 "That's the shortest meeting. Thank you."
00:55:28 And they'll be, "Oh, I want to talk to you about something."
00:55:31 Now we start.
00:55:32 Now we start to figure out things.
00:55:35 Because the individuals I deal with are...
00:55:39 Majority of them are extremely successful already.
00:55:43 So I don't have to motivate them.
00:55:46 This isn't about motivation.
00:55:48 This isn't about, you know,
00:55:49 "You got to go get it. You're going to crush it.
00:55:51 "You're going to do all that."
00:55:52 They'll be like, "Yeah."
00:55:54 There's a YouTube channel. Watch this.
00:55:56 Here's a nine-minute clip.
00:55:57 You can go ahead and watch it.
00:55:59 Everybody telling you about you got to want it
00:56:01 and how motivated you are and disciplined.
00:56:04 They know all those things.
00:56:05 Oh, because that's when the race starts.
00:56:07 If you don't have that, you're not even in the race.
00:56:09 That's a prerequisite.
00:56:11 That's like taking a test to get into...
00:56:14 That's like taking your LSATs or whatever it is.
00:56:17 If I got that wrong for the lawyers, I apologize.
00:56:19 That's LSAT.
00:56:20 All right.
00:56:21 That, to get into law, it's a prerequisite.
00:56:24 So like if you're coming to me with prerequisites,
00:56:27 you're so far away from winning, it doesn't even matter.
00:56:30 You know what's actually what I loved about law school?
00:56:33 Speaking of that, is my first year of law school,
00:56:37 it's on a curve basis.
00:56:39 So if there was a test, 10 questions,
00:56:42 and you, let's say 80% of the class gets 9 out of 10,
00:56:44 and I get 8 out of 10.
00:56:45 In traditional school, that's a B, a pass.
00:56:47 In law school, that's an F.
00:56:49 It's curved.
00:56:50 I'm competing against you, not the results,
00:56:52 not the materials.
00:56:53 And that changes everything.
00:56:55 Everything.
00:56:56 Because now you're not just my friend in class.
00:56:58 You're my adversary.
00:57:00 And it's who knows the information better.
00:57:02 That's it.
00:57:03 Paul.
00:57:04 That's it.
00:57:05 And people forget a lot of times, listen, winning matters.
00:57:12 It matters.
00:57:13 All right.
00:57:14 It matters.
00:57:16 It's going to matter in life.
00:57:19 All right.
00:57:20 Things are never going to be fair.
00:57:23 It's not going to be fair.
00:57:24 The more you win, the more you're going to be criticized,
00:57:27 the more you're going to be respected,
00:57:29 the more you're going to be talked about,
00:57:30 the more people are going to look at you different.
00:57:33 Listen, winning makes you different.
00:57:38 Winning makes you different.
00:57:40 It does make you different.
00:57:42 And you know what different does?
00:57:45 It scares people.
00:57:47 Difference scares people.
00:57:50 It really, really, really does.
00:57:53 All right.
00:57:54 There's a lot of individuals now that look at you and say,
00:57:58 "Man, there's something different about you.
00:58:01 There should be something different about each individual."
00:58:04 When somebody says there's something different about you
00:58:06 and it's in a positive way,
00:58:08 you know there's something different about you,
00:58:10 that means they've noticed.
00:58:13 Yeah.
00:58:14 They've noticed.
00:58:15 And then what happens is people don't like different.
00:58:19 They like to stay in the middle.
00:58:22 They like to stay consistently the same because it's comfort.
00:58:27 Is that why it is?
00:58:28 They don't like different because it forces them to self-examine
00:58:31 why they're not doing?
00:58:33 100%.
00:58:34 You look at that.
00:58:35 So what happens is when others try to make you feel guilty,
00:58:43 it's not about you.
00:58:44 It's about them.
00:58:48 Now when somebody says, "Man," like you said earlier,
00:58:52 "Man, you work too much.
00:58:54 You're too focused.
00:58:55 You need to relax.
00:58:56 You need to take a vacation.
00:58:57 You need more balance."
00:59:00 It's their guilt that they're trying to put on you
00:59:03 to make themselves feel better.
00:59:06 It's got nothing to do with you.
00:59:09 It's got nothing to do with you.
00:59:11 What happens is you've become different,
00:59:13 and that different is scaring that individual here.
00:59:16 So now we need to bring--
00:59:18 I don't want to be a part of this horror movie.
00:59:20 I don't because what's going to--you know what's happened?
00:59:23 Your difference is going to kill me.
00:59:27 I'm going to be the first one that's going to end up dying
00:59:29 in this horror movie.
00:59:32 All right, so what can I do to stay alive?
00:59:35 Bring me down.
00:59:37 There you go.
00:59:39 All right.
00:59:40 Yeah.
00:59:41 So you talk about in Relentless,
00:59:44 and you talked about Kobe Bryant and his ability
00:59:46 to have an alter ego and go to a dark place.
00:59:49 I don't want to talk about Kobe Bryant
00:59:51 because actually what I've never heard from you
00:59:53 is your dark place that you have to go to
00:59:56 to coach these high-performance, highly successful individuals
00:59:59 because for them to respect you,
01:00:01 you have to have that saying.
01:00:02 I never leave it.
01:00:03 I never leave it.
01:00:04 You're there 100% of the time.
01:00:05 I leave there.
01:00:06 I visit--I'm out there 100% of the time.
01:00:11 The road to paradise starts in hell.
01:00:15 All right?
01:00:19 You have to take that bus ride,
01:00:22 that walk,
01:00:25 that crawl,
01:00:27 that flight,
01:00:29 whatever it may be,
01:00:33 back to hell consistently.
01:00:37 All right?
01:00:38 Because here's the thing.
01:00:43 If hell comes visits you
01:00:47 and it visits a lot of people,
01:00:51 it's not going to leave.
01:00:55 It's you, so--and your hell is what you're willing not to acknowledge.
01:01:00 You're not willing to acknowledge who you are,
01:01:03 what your darkness is,
01:01:05 what fuels you.
01:01:11 The reason I take that trip on a daily basis
01:01:14 is because each time I take that trip,
01:01:23 I don't have to stay there as long.
01:01:27 I don't have to stay there as long.
01:01:29 I know what I have to deal with.
01:01:30 I know what I have to talk to.
01:01:31 I know the skeletons I have to deal with.
01:01:34 I know the ghosts that I have to deal with.
01:01:36 I know the spirits that I have to deal with,
01:01:39 and I get to leave.
01:01:40 But I take that trip often,
01:01:43 very, very, very, very often.
01:01:45 All right?
01:01:46 Your new beginnings,
01:01:49 every single new beginning that you've done,
01:01:51 and you've done a lot of them,
01:01:54 have started in your darkest moments,
01:01:59 in your darkest moments.
01:02:01 You know, I've used this adage many times
01:02:05 with individuals now.
01:02:07 All right?
01:02:08 When does a new day start?
01:02:12 It starts at midnight.
01:02:15 All right?
01:02:16 Is it light or dark at midnight?
01:02:18 It's dark.
01:02:19 It's dark.
01:02:20 So if a new day starts at dark,
01:02:23 at dark,
01:02:26 where do you think your new beginnings start?
01:02:29 In the dark.
01:02:30 In the dark.
01:02:32 Well, when you're in that room by yourself,
01:02:37 when you're in silence,
01:02:38 and you could be in a concert
01:02:41 with 60,000 people screaming.
01:02:44 All right?
01:02:46 And your mind goes to that dark place,
01:02:51 and that's where your breakout moment comes in right there.
01:02:54 All of a sudden,
01:02:58 it just happens.
01:03:01 All right?
01:03:07 Majority of the people, you know,
01:03:09 as long as you don't have any physical ailments with your eyes,
01:03:15 everyone can almost see in the light.
01:03:18 Everybody can see in the light.
01:03:21 All right?
01:03:25 But in the dark, you can't see.
01:03:29 You got to feel,
01:03:31 and you got to trust.
01:03:34 So when you have to feel and trust,
01:03:36 what's the two things?
01:03:38 All right?
01:03:39 Trust is from your mind.
01:03:43 So you got to trust what's up going on in here.
01:03:46 Feeling is in your heart.
01:03:52 Now you have control over the two things
01:03:55 that you've given control to other individuals,
01:03:58 and you can only get control of those in the dark
01:04:04 because you can't see anybody else.
01:04:09 And most people run in the--
01:04:11 when they're in the--
01:04:12 when they see--
01:04:14 when you're in your darkest moments,
01:04:18 all right,
01:04:21 there's--you know, there's dark,
01:04:26 then there's darker,
01:04:30 then there's darkness,
01:04:34 then there's darkest.
01:04:40 You'll see an individual will follow you to maybe one.
01:04:46 You might have a few other individuals
01:04:48 that may follow you in, too.
01:04:52 When you get to that--the darkest place,
01:04:55 it's just you.
01:04:58 It's just you.
01:04:59 It's your thoughts, your actions,
01:05:02 your heartbeat, your feelings
01:05:06 that's going to allow you to be able to see
01:05:10 what's really out there for you.
01:05:13 Not what everybody else has got planned for you,
01:05:16 what everybody else thinks about you.
01:05:19 So if you take that trip back and forth consistently,
01:05:26 your mind and feelings adjust to that darkness
01:05:29 so much quicker.
01:05:31 Is that what makes you unbreakable at this point?
01:05:33 Yeah.
01:05:36 And do you have a you for you?
01:05:38 Do you have somebody who can help you
01:05:42 when you get those blocks?
01:05:47 Do I have somebody who can help me when I get those blocks?
01:05:53 I'm an introvert, all right?
01:05:57 You know, people see me speak on stage and so forth,
01:05:59 but the one person I'm an extrovert with is myself.
01:06:03 I have more conversations with myself
01:06:05 than any other individual.
01:06:07 I have a setup in my house where I have two chairs,
01:06:11 all right, about this far distance apart, all right?
01:06:16 I'll sit in one chair.
01:06:18 I'll say something.
01:06:20 I will literally get up and walk into the other chair
01:06:23 and reply, get back up.
01:06:28 Because if I can't trust myself,
01:06:31 if I can't rely on me,
01:06:37 if I can't have honest conversations with myself
01:06:40 every single day,
01:06:43 if I can't have honest conversations with my skeletons,
01:06:46 if I can't have honest conversations with my darkness,
01:06:49 if I can't have honest conversations with my feelings,
01:06:52 and they're not long conversations.
01:06:54 These aren't things that I have to --
01:06:57 I got to schedule meeting times for.
01:07:00 This is not something that's in my calendar.
01:07:03 It's not when people call you up.
01:07:05 They call you up to --
01:07:07 they have meetings to have meetings.
01:07:09 This is like, no, this is something that has to happen,
01:07:13 and it happens, and you start to being able to, like, you know --
01:07:19 At many times, you have to be that individual.
01:07:22 Do I have allies that I can reach out to?
01:07:26 Not many, but there's a few.
01:07:31 Because the way I think, the way I act,
01:07:36 the way I feel about certain things
01:07:42 and what other individuals say,
01:07:46 it does intimidate a lot of individuals.
01:07:50 -Yeah. -It does.
01:07:53 I'm a very unique, acquired taste.
01:07:58 -Well, that's what winning is, though.
01:08:00 -That's what it is.
01:08:02 -That's what winning is. -That's it.
01:08:04 No, it's not. It's everyone --
01:08:06 They think it's everybody --
01:08:09 Everybody wants to win,
01:08:12 but the pressure
01:08:18 and the mental health
01:08:22 that comes with winning,
01:08:25 very few understand that.
01:08:28 -They don't understand the cost.
01:08:30 -Yeah, they don't -- Right.
01:08:32 The cost is your mentality. -Yeah.
01:08:34 -The cost is your time.
01:08:36 The cost is your feelings.
01:08:38 The cost, it's --
01:08:40 You can't explain it.
01:08:42 You try to tell people that, you know,
01:08:45 you're not in the --
01:08:47 I was at my -- You know, I was at one of my daughter's recitals
01:08:50 or whatever it was.
01:08:52 I couldn't -- I did everything I could to be focused.
01:08:56 I just -- I wasn't there.
01:09:00 But those are the things --
01:09:03 That's the cost of winning.
01:09:05 That is.
01:09:07 And people don't want to talk about it
01:09:09 because they're like, "They did the same thing."
01:09:11 But now they're like,
01:09:13 "They don't want you to do the same thing
01:09:15 because --" They're like, "Wait a minute."
01:09:17 Because they don't want to give you the ingredients.
01:09:19 They don't want to give you the formulas,
01:09:21 or it makes them look bad.
01:09:23 Well, winning will cost you everything,
01:09:28 but it will reward you with so much more.
01:09:31 It's going to cost you everything in that moment,
01:09:35 in those moments over and over,
01:09:37 but it's going to reward you with so much more.
01:09:41 People want the rewards first.
01:09:44 No.
01:09:47 You don't get the rewards first.
01:09:51 You don't get the rewards first.
01:09:53 You get the regrets.
01:09:57 And the regrets stay with you longer than the wins will.
01:10:02 Yeah.
01:10:03 Do you ever have to explain to some of your clients,
01:10:07 not the Kobys and Jordans, but the other clients,
01:10:10 they're not prepared for the cost of winning?
01:10:13 Yes.
01:10:14 And have to retool them?
01:10:15 Stop trying to win because you're not prepared for that cost?
01:10:18 You're not even close.
01:10:20 It's just like --
01:10:24 I always ask individuals, I said,
01:10:27 "What's your definition of all in?"
01:10:32 You're asking me?
01:10:34 I'll ask you, yeah.
01:10:35 What's your definition of all in?
01:10:37 All in is the only thing that matters is this mission,
01:10:41 and I'm willing to sacrifice every single thing else to achieve it.
01:10:45 All right, perfect.
01:10:46 That's a great answer because you know what I get usually?
01:10:51 Early mornings, late nights, being misunderstood,
01:10:58 being my own chair leader.
01:11:02 All right, I said, "Those are prerequisites."
01:11:05 Yeah.
01:11:07 That's the standard.
01:11:08 That's like, "You got to be kidding me."
01:11:13 I said, "So it's just like we got --
01:11:19 now what we got to do is we literally have to rewire everything."
01:11:26 And most people aren't willing to be rewired because the shock to the system
01:11:34 of taking those wires and putting them in uncomfortable situations
01:11:39 and putting them in different things
01:11:40 and not knowing if the electricity and the juice is going to the right areas
01:11:45 at the right times because we got to constantly shift them all the time.
01:11:49 People are like, "Man, this is too much."
01:11:53 That's what I talk about when I talk about the mental health of success,
01:11:58 the mental health of winning because everybody looks at, "Oh, Jeff.
01:12:02 Wow, Jeff, look what you've done.
01:12:04 You got all these franchises.
01:12:05 Look at all these businesses, da-da-da, all this other stuff.
01:12:08 Man, you have it all."
01:12:11 And everybody can relate to the mental health of somebody that's not doing well
01:12:17 in life or have some, but they don't understand the mental health
01:12:21 and mental pressure of success.
01:12:23 That's why a lot of people don't -- they don't want to win over and over again.
01:12:27 They want to win once.
01:12:29 It's not worth it to do it again.
01:12:31 It's not worth it to do it again because the price to do it again
01:12:36 is so much more significant than you did it the first time.
01:12:40 And it's very lonely.
01:12:41 Very lonely.
01:12:42 Winning is lonely.
01:12:43 Winning is -- success is lonely.
01:12:45 Forget about just winning.
01:12:46 Success is lonely.
01:12:48 Excellence is lonely.
01:12:49 Excellence is lonely.
01:12:50 Success is lonely.
01:12:51 Winning is lonely.
01:12:53 It is.
01:12:54 You look at every athlete, and even every CEO has had this.
01:13:00 All my CEOs, all my top business people have had this moment.
01:13:06 When they've won something -- and you can find on YouTube and on Google,
01:13:15 you can find pictures of every champion who was that person on their team sport
01:13:25 or individual sport when they won, where there was a moment
01:13:28 where they were just by themselves.
01:13:30 They went into a corner, and it was just them.
01:13:35 All right?
01:13:37 That's their dark place.
01:13:40 They went to visit it and say, "Thank you.
01:13:44 Thank you."
01:13:47 All right?
01:13:48 So when you talk about that, that's the loneliness part.
01:13:52 That's the excellence part, and people don't like to be lonely.
01:13:56 Everyone talks about, "Oh, you know what?
01:13:58 I can be by myself."
01:14:01 No.
01:14:03 All right.
01:14:04 No.
01:14:05 All right.
01:14:06 It's easy to talk -- it's easy to say that, "No."
01:14:09 Yeah.
01:14:10 All right?
01:14:11 And here's the thing.
01:14:13 Your most successful individuals, the ones that understand excellence is lonely,
01:14:20 that success is lonely, that winning is lonely,
01:14:27 they could be in a room with 2,000 people, and they're still alone.
01:14:38 Yeah.
01:14:40 So when people talk about being lonely, "I could be by myself,"
01:14:45 they think you need to be in a room by yourself.
01:14:48 No.
01:14:50 That's easy.
01:14:52 That's easy.
01:14:53 When you talk about you can be by yourself,
01:14:55 you mean a crowded environment, the most loudest, most distracted place out there,
01:15:06 and you're still alone.
01:15:08 Yeah.
01:15:09 That's the price of excellence.
01:15:12 That's the price of winning.
01:15:17 That price must be paid.
01:15:19 But as you said, the reward is so much more.
01:15:22 It's so much more.
01:15:24 People talk -- all right.
01:15:30 Since you've had all the success, Jeff, how many more lives have you been able to touch?
01:15:34 How many more individuals have you been able to help?
01:15:36 How much more charitable have you been able to be?
01:15:39 A ton.
01:15:41 My mentor taught me young, "If I don't make a lot of money, I can't help a lot of people."
01:15:46 All right.
01:15:48 "If I don't do and exceed and be that successful, I can't inspire a lot of people."
01:15:52 No one wants to learn from the guy who finished second.
01:15:54 No one remembers him.
01:15:55 That's -- there it is right there.
01:15:58 All right.
01:15:59 And then people ask you -- people always ask you, you know, "What's your why?"
01:16:06 All right.
01:16:08 You already know it.
01:16:10 Not do you know it, you did it.
01:16:12 And you're going to do it over and over and over and over again.
01:16:15 Because if you don't, if that war stops in your head, you're already dead.
01:16:25 Yeah.
01:16:26 It's the obsession.
01:16:27 Obsessed with that experience.
01:16:29 Yeah.
01:16:31 Yep.
01:16:32 You turned out -- well, we talked about it.
01:16:33 You started -- when we were walking up, when you were giving me a tour, I said -- you said,
01:16:37 "It's a hobby."
01:16:38 I said, "You turned your hobby into an obsession."
01:16:39 Yes.
01:16:40 This was supposed to be a hobby.
01:16:41 This was supposed to be -- this was supposed to be a -- and here's the thing.
01:16:44 I'm going to tell you this right now.
01:16:45 All right.
01:16:46 And this will be my first coaching lesson to you.
01:16:49 Please.
01:16:50 You will never have a hobby.
01:16:53 You're too obsessed of a person to have a hobby.
01:16:56 Yeah.
01:16:57 You'll get bored with hobbies.
01:16:58 I do.
01:16:59 It's all in or zero.
01:17:00 Yeah.
01:17:01 Yeah.
01:17:02 Which is good and bad.
01:17:03 Yeah.
01:17:04 It has its negatives for sure.
01:17:05 Of course.
01:17:06 Everything has its negatives.
01:17:07 Yes.
01:17:08 Everything has its negatives.
01:17:09 All right.
01:17:10 I almost -- truthfully, me and my wife, we got into our biggest fight in our entire marriage
01:17:14 over this company because when I did this, it was supposed to be a hobby.
01:17:18 It was supposed to be a hobby.
01:17:19 She said, "Go do something.
01:17:20 You don't" -- and then she got -- she literally yelled at me.
01:17:21 I was gone for three months working seven days a week, 12-hour days to start this thing
01:17:25 and figure out how to run a restaurant.
01:17:27 And she said to me, "Jeff, you're a millionaire working a minimum wage job while your kids
01:17:31 are at home wondering where dad is.
01:17:33 Get home."
01:17:34 And I said, "I can't until I figure out how to run this business."
01:17:38 And that was the closest we've ever come to having to rethink if our partnership in marriage
01:17:43 was going to work.
01:17:44 Yeah.
01:17:45 Well, listen, I'm no marriage counselor.
01:17:50 I'm no relationship expert.
01:17:54 But this is the advice I give individuals that are in situations like yourself.
01:18:03 Were you this way before you met?
01:18:06 Before you met?
01:18:07 Yes.
01:18:08 Now she expects you to change?
01:18:13 I think she thought there would be -- to your point -- there'd be an enough.
01:18:19 There's never enough.
01:18:20 There's never enough.
01:18:21 I said, "What -- what --" and this goes both ways.
01:18:28 What attracted you to each other?
01:18:35 What she saw in you, how driven you were, how you wanted to actually make a difference,
01:18:43 not just say you're going to make a difference.
01:18:50 She saw something inside you that really like, this is real genuine about that individual.
01:18:59 Can't change that person now.
01:19:00 Luckily, that was six years ago, seven years ago, and she's now -- we recovered from that.
01:19:06 Yeah.
01:19:07 I'm just saying, everyone has those moments, but okay.
01:19:10 The price of winning.
01:19:11 The price of winning.
01:19:14 That's the price of success.
01:19:17 We talk about -- you just mentioned one -- you talk about loneliness.
01:19:21 Excellence is lonely.
01:19:22 Success is lonely.
01:19:23 Winning is lonely.
01:19:24 There it is right there.
01:19:26 Do you find -- because I have found this, and I'm curious if all of your other clients
01:19:32 have found this -- the first taste of winning is the sweetest, and then you're just chasing
01:19:36 the dragon, and every taste of winning and success thereafter never feels or is never
01:19:40 as good, but the cost keeps growing?
01:19:43 The cost is going to keep growing.
01:19:44 Yeah.
01:19:45 And here's the thing.
01:19:46 You know what?
01:19:47 It's not the -- I'm going to put a little twist on that one.
01:19:52 Okay.
01:19:53 All right?
01:19:55 You don't get -- it's not the sweet taste of winning.
01:19:58 It's you finally get the bitter taste of defeat out of your mouth.
01:20:04 All right?
01:20:05 Better said.
01:20:06 So it's not the -- you know, everybody says, "Man, the sweet smell, the sweet taste of
01:20:09 winning."
01:20:10 No, it's that nasty smell.
01:20:12 It's that nasty taste that all the sacrifice, everything that you've done, all the time,
01:20:18 all the focus, all the things away, the bitterness that just like, "Man, this stuff is just terrible.
01:20:25 It's terrible."
01:20:26 That's the difference between that motivation pot where everything tastes good and it makes
01:20:30 you feel good, and it's that sugar high, and then over here is that elevation pot where
01:20:35 everything is just, "Man, this stuff just tastes absolutely terrible."
01:20:40 But you know what?
01:20:42 You keep eating it because you see what it fuels you.
01:20:45 It's that fuel.
01:20:46 There's the motivation pot, you eat for taste.
01:20:49 The elevation pot, you eat for fuel.
01:20:55 And then when you eat, then you're finally like, "You know what?
01:20:58 I finally got that bitter taste out of my mouth."
01:21:01 And then you go through hell every single time not to have that taste back in your mouth
01:21:07 again.
01:21:08 And the minute you start doing it, the minute you start to feel that taste again, this goes
01:21:15 back to our first conversation about balance.
01:21:17 The scales go just like this.
01:21:20 Nothing else matters right now.
01:21:21 I got to get this taste out of my mouth.
01:21:23 I have to get this taste out of my mouth.
01:21:25 That's the three months away.
01:21:28 Seven days a week, 18 hours a day.
01:21:30 I'm starting, you know what?
01:21:32 That taste is coming back.
01:21:33 - Yeah, because success wasn't happening the way it was supposed to.
01:21:36 It's coming back.
01:21:37 - Yeah.
01:21:38 - I can't do it.
01:21:39 - Tim, I could sit here all day talking to you.
01:21:43 I reached out to you a few years ago for some coaching.
01:21:46 - Yes.
01:21:47 - And the timing didn't work yet, but I'm glad I got you here today.
01:21:50 - It's a pleasure.
01:21:51 It was an honor.
01:21:52 - I learned so much from you every time.
01:21:53 If you haven't read Relentless and Winning, and I don't say this, you guys have known
01:21:56 me, my number one book that everybody must read, and I bought one for all my executives,
01:22:01 is Relentless.
01:22:02 It is a book that will tell you who you are.
01:22:05 It'll give you insight.
01:22:07 You have had the privilege of working with some of the greatest competitors on the planet,
01:22:12 and there are so many opportunities for us to learn from what you've gained and what
01:22:16 you teach.
01:22:17 And you know, it's funny.
01:22:18 There's a common thing between Kobe and Jordan.
01:22:20 His name was Phil Jackson.
01:22:22 There's a second common thing.
01:22:23 It's Tim Grover.
01:22:24 And I don't think a lot of people appreciate that.
01:22:26 Having a coach and having someone who can help you through those darkest times, no matter
01:22:30 how successful you are, LeBron had a coach, Kobe has a coach, Jordan has a coach.
01:22:35 I have coaches.
01:22:36 Everyone should have coaches.
01:22:37 And you are the true pinnacle of that.
01:22:40 And so I want to thank you so much for coming today.
01:22:44 It's been an honor to have you, and I really appreciate the friendship that we have and
01:22:47 the one that's going to continue to grow.
01:22:49 - Yeah, so will.
01:22:50 - And I'm going to continue to lean on you and learn from you.
01:22:51 And when I get to those dark places, I hope I can reach out and ask for help.
01:22:58 Without a doubt, without a doubt.
01:23:00 Because you know why?
01:23:03 It takes dark to understand dark.
01:23:09 - Takes dark to understand dark, and that is so true.
01:23:12 And to have these people in your life, you need to build that relationship capital.
01:23:16 I do have a PDF that I'm offering for free.
01:23:18 If you text Jeff to 33777, I will give you my Network to Millions playbook.
01:23:23 It's free, no strings attached, and hopefully it will help you meet and surround yourself
01:23:27 with more high-level people that can elevate you.
01:23:30 Not motivate you, but elevate you.
01:23:32 That's one of the main messages I just learned today, because there is, and I'm going to
01:23:36 end on this, but there's so many people who spend their entire life listening to motivational
01:23:39 videos like it's their Netflix, like it's their sitcom, just to feel good.
01:23:44 - You know what?
01:23:45 This is how it is.
01:23:46 Very simple for people.
01:23:48 Difference between motivation and elevation.
01:23:52 Motivation is what you need from somebody else.
01:23:56 Somebody else is lighting your fire.
01:23:58 They're controlling your thoughts, they're controlling your actions, they're controlling
01:24:01 how you feel.
01:24:03 All right?
01:24:04 Elevation is what you demand of yourself.
01:24:08 That's it.
01:24:09 It's what you demand of yourself.
01:24:10 - You want more?
01:24:11 Demand more.
01:24:12 - That's it.
01:24:13 - Tim, thank you so much.
01:24:15 - My pleasure, my friend.
01:24:16 It's an honor.
01:24:17 - This was amazing.
01:24:18 Thank you all for tuning in.
01:24:20 I want to give a huge shout out to our amazing sponsor, Entrepreneur, for partnering with
01:24:25 us to help get this show to as many people as possible.
01:24:29 Go check out our article on the episode at entrepreneur.com or by clicking the link in
01:24:33 the show notes below.
01:24:35 See you on the next one.
01:24:36 - Thank you.
01:24:37 - Thank you.
01:24:37 - Thank you.
01:24:42 - Thank you.
01:24:47 (upbeat music)