A therapist shared ten things she would never do with her kids - including never giving them a hug without getting consent first.
Mum-of-two Jessica MacNair, 41, has been a licensed therapist for 20 years and says following her tips creates a "secure attachment".
Without it, kids can become adults with addictions, in broken relationships, and have trouble keeping jobs.
Mum-of-two Jessica MacNair, 41, has been a licensed therapist for 20 years and says following her tips creates a "secure attachment".
Without it, kids can become adults with addictions, in broken relationships, and have trouble keeping jobs.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00 Number one, I ask for consent when I go to hug my kids.
00:05 Here are five things that I do not do with my kids because I'm a licensed therapist of
00:09 20 years part two.
00:11 One, I do not shame or judge them for anything related to sexuality or gender expression.
00:17 They can use any pronouns that they want and they can express any feelings towards any
00:22 gender and it is all okay in my household.
00:26 Number two, they can express any emotion or feeling that they want, big or small, and
00:31 I will hold it all and I will never judge them for how they choose to express themselves.
00:36 Number three, and this might be a controversial one, but I don't place value on grades and
00:41 I don't judge them for what grades they bring home.
00:44 I work alongside of them and their teachers to work on any things that might need improvement
00:50 at school, but there's no value judgment attached to it.
00:54 Number four, I do not use fear as a motivational tool.
00:59 That one's self-explanatory.
01:01 Number five, this one's my favorite one.
01:04 I do not teach them to just trust authority figures no matter what.
01:09 I teach them that trust and respect is earned.
01:14 By popular request as a licensed therapist who's been in practice for 20 years and a
01:19 mom, here are five things that I don't do with my kids.
01:23 Number one, I ask for consent when I go to hug my kids.
01:27 I teach them the importance of bodily autonomy and advocating for themselves and saying no
01:32 when they're uncomfortable.
01:34 Number two, I don't comment on their bodies.
01:36 We discuss the importance of physical exercise and nutrition and we just don't talk about
01:42 bodies and I don't talk about my own in front of them either.
01:45 Number three, I don't talk about finances in front of my kids.
01:49 I don't talk about how much money I make or where my money goes.
01:52 It's not for them to be concerned about.
01:54 Number four, I don't compare my kids to each other or ask them for a change that's more
01:59 like their sibling.
02:01 Number five, I don't place value on food and I don't reward or punish with it.
02:05 [Music]