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CreativityTranscript
00:00 You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck.
00:03 This video is brought to you by HelloFresh, the meal kit delivery service that's gonna blow your f-
00:09 Today we're gonna make super deluxe oven roasted mustard string beans.
00:12 What you're gonna do is take one large string bean and then just give it a firm whack.
00:16 Just pick up the pieces that didn't break down.
00:21 These stems are the reason that only 1 in 4 billion people cook string beans every year.
00:25 Now you can try to cut each stem off with a knife, but the repetitive motion will literally put you to sleep,
00:30 which is really dangerous because you might end up having a nightmare.
00:33 So to be safe, you want to switch it up and use a different technique for each bean.
00:37 So we got the first one cut with a knife.
00:39 We'll remove the next one with a fork.
00:41 We'll take the next one off with a spoon.
00:43 You can use your favorite wrassler.
00:45 I'm making good progress here.
00:46 Use your pepper pepper pepper.
00:48 You can work it down with a nail file.
00:50 You can liquid paper it and then serve it on a white plate so no one can see it.
00:54 Use some 2-grit sandpaper and grind it off.
00:56 You can slam it in the cupboard door.
00:58 Burn it off with the power of fire.
01:00 Tape onto your skateboard, then totally thrash until it grinds off.
01:04 You can dip the stem in hydrochloric acid.
01:06 You can brush its teeth. That's more just for hygiene.
01:09 Use a vacuum.
01:11 Use your nose hair trimmer.
01:12 Use your junk hair trimmer.
01:14 Photoshop the stem off, then pluck it.
01:17 Use the power of literature.
01:19 You can make it feel really insecure. That's just to be mean.
01:22 You can use reverse psychology.
01:24 You know what, guys? I don't think this bean's tough enough to de-stem itself.
01:28 Ash it like a cigarette.
01:31 Use a loose tooth method.
01:33 Cool it with ice until the stem is very brittle.
01:39 Line it up with a hard object, then cut it off with a pair of scissors.
01:43 Okay, I'm not going to show you every technique I use, because some of them are private.
01:47 Give them a toss so they get all dried off.
01:52 Pour the oil right into the strainer.
01:54 Get them coated.
01:55 A little pepper, pepper, pepper.
01:56 Some salt.
01:57 Toss them some more.
01:59 This way any excess oil will drain off, so they're not cooking in a pool of oil.
02:02 And then the secret weapon, whole grain mustard.
02:05 So, spread those pretty evenly.
02:09 Take a second and admire the beauty.
02:11 400. Let's onion chuck them.
02:13 If you want to go fancier than string beans, you can make string braids.
02:18 Cutting your bean into three.
02:21 But leave it attached to the bottom.
02:23 Then you just cross over each one until it's braided.
02:28 Then you take some green tape to camouflage it.
02:32 And then cook that, and then I'm pretty sure you can digest the tape.
02:35 Should be fine.
02:36 Oh, shit.
02:39 Give them a good rasslin'.
02:40 Flip. So forth and whatnot.
02:42 Bye.
02:44 Ow.
02:48 Finish them with some of your freshest salt.
02:50 These beans will taste good anywhere from just barely cooked to almost burnt.
02:56 So just go with your own texturaneal preference.
02:58 And if you do end up burning the living hell out of them, oh boy, oh boy, do I have something that could save you.
03:04 [Singing]
03:06 HelloFresh is a meal kit delivery service that makes cooking super easy, especially if you suck at shopping.
03:12 I literally blacked out when I was making the peppercorn steak, and when I came to, it was done.
03:16 Every week there's new recipes with instructions to make a meal in about 30 minutes.
03:20 And it's shipped to your door for free.
03:22 It's 4am. I had them drop it in this alley, 'cause if anyone finds out I'm cooking other people's recipes,
03:27 it'll completely destroy my reputation as a professional chef.
03:30 Go, go, go, go, go!
03:31 The ingredients are really fresh, and they're measured out so you don't waste food.
03:34 I was kind of expecting adult-sized Lunchables, but I was pretty impressed by the variety of food that came in just this one box.
03:41 I cooked whole meals of food, I think for the first time ever.
03:44 And it was really, really easy, and I totally found myself, which was such a bonus.
03:48 And I think they're way better than their competitors, Hello Compost and Hello Pizza Crust,
03:52 which has branding issues and pizza crust issues.
03:55 For $35 off your first week of deliveries, go to HelloFresh.com and enter "cooking."
04:00 If you want to pay the full amount, like a show-off, you can do that too.
04:02 And I'm just gonna play a funny song to wrap this all up.
04:05 [Singing]
04:12 You suck at cooking, oh my God, you suck.
04:17 Keep your stands in a special place. Forever.