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00:00I'm Olsen.
00:21I'm Johnson.
00:22I'm Johnson.
00:52I'm Johnson.
00:55I'm Johnson.
00:58I'm Johnson.
01:01I'm Johnson.
01:04I'm Johnson.
01:07I'm Johnson.
01:10I'm Johnson.
01:13I'm Johnson.
01:16I'm Johnson.
01:19I'm Johnson.
01:33All the people in town,
01:34you had to sell stock to that woman.
01:36How did I know she was the district attorney's wife?
01:38You expect her to wear a badge?
01:40I sold the Sheriff, and he wore one.
01:49You said you wanted to make a clean getaway, didn't you?
01:52Well, if you want to get your hands nice and clean,
01:53we don't want to get the jail dirty.
01:56Out of 123 million people, I had to pick you as a partner.
02:01They don't answer.
02:05What are you doing now?
02:07A, B, C, T, D, Q, S.
02:14Go back to your room and get those bonds out of there.
02:16We're leaving no evidence behind.
02:20Only these babies will make us a fortune yet.
02:22Those bonds won't be good in 15 million years.
02:25What?
02:26Those bonds won't be good in 15 million years.
02:28Boy, you scared me for a minute.
02:32I thought you said 50 million years.
02:37Maybe I better answer.
02:38It might not be for us.
02:43The Consolidated Gold Mining Corporation.
02:45Now, listen, Chubby, you can't fool me.
02:47I recognize your voice.
02:49It's Gertie.
02:50Gertie, I thought you were fired that day.
02:51I did this morning.
02:52What's the matter?
02:53She want her money?
02:54Worse than that, she wants ours.
02:56And that check you gave me for my salary last week,
02:58it came back from the bank marked no funds.
03:02No funds?
03:03That's funny.
03:04A big bank like that certainly ought to have some money in it.
03:07Well, it's not plenty of money, but it has to be yours.
03:10Come on.
03:10We got to get out of here.
03:14Chubby, you can't run out on us.
03:16Chubby, you can't run out on me.
03:18What did you say?
03:20The bank said your check is no good.
03:23Wait a minute, Gertie.
03:24How long have you been working for me?
03:27About two years.
03:28Well, whose word are you going to take?
03:30The bank's or mine?
03:32Come on, Charlie, this is one stockholder's meeting.
03:34I don't want to attend.
03:35But, J.D., we can't leave Gertie Lyon here on the floor.
03:41Wait till I get my geology tools.
03:47J.D., don't leave me now.
03:51We're being held up.
03:53They're using machine guns.
03:57J.D., don't go out in the hall.
04:00They'll probably get another one out there
04:02and blow you down.
04:03Oh, please, please.
04:08Police station, send all the men you got right away.
04:11They're killing Chubby with machine guns.
04:13Yes, sir.
04:14Right away, they're killing Chubby with machine guns.
04:16Yes.
04:17What?
04:18Oh, is this really the police station?
04:21Cut out the gymnastics.
04:22Let's go.
04:35What's this?
04:36It's a dog.
04:37I know it's a dog.
04:38But what's he doing in our car?
04:40I guess he just liked the looks of it
04:41and jumped in and sat down.
04:42Well, he certainly did a fine job tying himself
04:44to that steering wheel.
04:45Woof, woof.
04:48You're not scared of him, are you?
04:49Oh, no.
04:50You get right in, and I'll sit in the back.
04:57Ah!
04:59Gertie.
05:01What are you doing here?
05:02Where are you boys going?
05:03Oh, Springfield.
05:05Oh, Springfield Mass, Springfield Hall, or Springfield
05:08Hill?
05:09What difference does that make?
05:10We've got business everywhere.
05:12Throw the dog out, Charlie.
05:14Woof.
05:16Oh, don't be afraid.
05:17Haven't you heard the old saying that a barking dog never bites?
05:20I've heard it, but has the dog heard it?
05:22Woof, woof, woof.
05:24Give him the car.
05:25Let's speed it.
05:26Oh, leave him to me.
05:27He's a one-man dog.
05:29Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
05:39Woof, woof, woof.
05:40Go.
05:41Woof.
05:47I thought he was a one-man dog.
05:50He is, but I guess I'm not the right man.
05:54What did I ever do to you?
05:55Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
06:00Snuffy, stop teasing Snuffy.
06:02Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
06:04Oh, baby, come on back here with Mommy.
06:06Come on.
06:07Hey, help him over.
06:08He's such a little baby.
06:09Come on, honey.
06:10Come on.
06:11Come on.
06:12Woof.
06:13Oh, woof.
06:14Careful, honey.
06:17A dog and a dame, as if we're not having enough trouble
06:20already.
06:21From now on, I'll go my way, and you'll go yours.
06:24Well, I'd rather go your way.
06:26Look, Charlie, the longer we're together, the more trouble
06:28we're going to get into.
06:30That's why I think it's best we split.
06:32Split?
06:33Did Damon leave Pippius?
06:35No.
06:37Did Mark Anthony leave Cleopatra?
06:40No.
06:41Did Sears leave Roebuck?
06:43No.
06:44Did Beans leave Boston?
06:46Did Beans leave Boston?
06:48No.
06:49Then why should you leave me?
06:51Because I want to settle down and be a respectable citizen.
06:55Instead of living in an overnight bag,
06:57I'm through with the old life.
06:58You can't do this to me.
07:00After all we've been through together,
07:02it would be the height of selfishness,
07:04the pinnacle of inconsideration, and the apex of ingratitude.
07:10Well, Charlie, this will be our last meal together for some time.
07:13Well, you better take these bonds.
07:14You may need them to get started.
07:16Ah, Conn.
07:17Hey, what about Gertie?
07:19Shall I wake him up?
07:20No, no, no.
07:21I'll go.
07:22I'll go.
07:23I'll go.
07:24I'll go.
07:25I'll go.
07:26I'll go.
07:27I'll go.
07:28I'll go.
07:29I'll go.
07:30I'll go.
07:31I'll go.
07:32I'll go.
07:33I'll go.
07:34I'll go.
07:35I'll go.
07:36I'll go.
07:37I'll go.
07:38I'll go.
07:39And, uh, about Gertie, shall I wake her?
07:41I'll let her sleep.
07:42Maybe you're right.
07:43We don't have to pay her while she's sleeping.
07:45Now, we don't owe her a thing.
07:47She hasn't been awake since we met her.
08:04Will it be ten?
08:06I'll have a Sirloin.
08:07I'll have the same.
08:08and make mine tender.
08:10One tender.
08:13Vicious?
08:15Vicious?
08:17Yes, he's vicious for the other's sake, too.
08:27Hello, son.
08:28Hello.
08:29Pretty fast. What is this, a minute steak?
08:39No, a minute steak's take a half hour.
08:43How much are club steaks, Chuck?
08:45Sixty cents, Billy.
08:46Gee, that's pretty high.
08:48Pretty tough when you have to pay sixty cents for a steak, isn't it?
08:51Sure, but it's tougher when you only pay twenty-five.
08:54Pay me next time, Billy.
08:55There won't be any next time. I'm on my way to New York.
08:59New York? Boy, what a town that was, before the double of police force.
09:04And what are you going to do in New York?
09:06I'm going to be a big newspaper man.
09:08A newspaper man, huh?
09:09Here's one of my cards.
09:17Yeah, assistant circulation manager, huh?
09:20Shelby, I woke up.
09:21Well, let me be the first one to congratulate you.
09:24I just had a steak. Will you have a donut?
09:26Oh, no thanks. I just dreamt I ate dinner and I'm so full.
09:29Yeah.
09:32Why don't you go back to sleep and wait for your dessert?
09:34Mmm, I hope it's chocolate pudding.
09:36I hope it's chocolate pudding.
09:38I hope it's chocolate pudding.
09:40I should a man of your importance.
09:42I should a man of your importance.
09:44I should a man of your importance.
09:46I should a man of your importance.
09:49I should a man of your importance leave his hometown.
09:52Ah, Chesterville ain't big enough for me.
09:54There's no future there.
09:56Don't say that, Billy.
09:57That bonus money will make things hum.
09:59What bonus money?
10:00The soldiers' hometown.
10:05Over a thousand veterans.
10:07Yeah, I just collected almost a half a million dollars.
10:13Keep the change.
10:14Hey, there must be plenty of opportunity in a small town.
10:17I haven't seen any.
10:18Ah, you may be turning your back on the greatest opportunity you'll ever have.
10:27See? That was his opportunity and he walked right away from it.
10:30Pick them up, Billy. They're all yours.
10:32Hey, Charlie.
10:34I changed my mind.
10:35About going straight?
10:36No, about the car. I need it.
10:38Thanks for the steak, mister.
10:40That's okay, Billy. Can we give you a lift?
10:42Are you going my way?
10:43Sure. Get right in.
10:45I'll take care of you if I see you a little.
10:46Okay.
10:48Oh!
10:53Wait a minute. The pedal's in my pocket.
10:56I'll get it in the car. Don't worry.
11:03I wish the next fat thing you ride, you'll ride a kiddie car.
11:08Get the...
11:09There you are.
11:18Gee, what a swell dog.
11:20Does he pet?
11:21Does he pet?
11:22You should have seen him necking me this morning.
11:32Snuffy!
11:34Snuffy!
11:35Oh, where are you, Snuffy? Come to mama.
11:38Oh, my baby boy, where are you?
11:44What's the matter, lady?
11:45Oh, I've been robbed.
11:46Robbed?
11:47Yes, those two men in the big car, they stole him.
11:50My baby boy, they're kidnappers. That's what they are. They're kidnappers.
11:53Don't worry. They won't get away with it.
12:01What's going on here?
12:03Where?
12:04We were only doing 30.
12:06You're under arrest.
12:07Why, officer, what for?
12:08Kidnapping.
12:09Kidnapping.
12:10Kidnapping?
12:11Just come clean and tell me who was in that kidnapping, will you?
12:14Say, listen, officer, there was no kidnapping.
12:16We met this little fellow who was running away from home.
12:18We gave him a lift in our car.
12:19We were taking him back to his mother.
12:20That's all there was to it.
12:21Oh, you won't talk, huh?
12:24What we want's a confession.
12:27Now, you come clean or I'll put this bullet right through your heart.
12:30Up here.
12:32Listen, we've got nothing to confess. We're innocent.
12:34Shut up.
12:35Now, you come clean or I'll put this bullet right through your heart.
12:38Up here.
12:40We're innocent.
12:41Shut up.
12:42I'll give you one more chance.
12:43If you don't confess before I count to three, I'll empty this gun into you.
12:46One.
12:47But I didn't do anything.
12:48Two.
12:49You're killing an innocent man.
12:50Three.
12:52They got me, J.D.
12:55If you can't get a confession out of that guy, I'll get one out of this bird.
12:58I'll make you talk.
12:59Where were you on the night of June the 10th?
13:01I was out with a beautiful blonde.
13:02Where were you on the night of June the 11th?
13:03I was out with a beautiful brunette.
13:05Where were you on the night of the 12th?
13:07I was out with a beautiful redhead.
13:09Keep it up, Harry. We're getting somewhere. He's confessing.
13:12He's not confessing. He's just bragging.
13:14I'm not going to stand here and waste my good breath on you.
13:17Somebody's been kidding you, officer.
13:20Let's give him the third degree.
13:22You mean to tell me we only have the second one up till now?
13:24Get on your feet.
13:25No, thanks. I think I'll sit this one out.
13:27I'll hammer you till you're black and blue.
13:29You afraid you'll hurt your fists?
13:31You're lucky I'm using my fists. Once I knocked a guy's block off at a golf club.
13:36How many strokes?
13:39You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?
13:41Put those glasses away.
13:46I'll sit down.
13:47I'll smack you so hard you'll spin around in that chair for three days.
13:50Ah, here comes the revolution again.
13:52We'll get the tooth out of you fellas, but it takes the rest of our lives.
13:55There are other ways besides the third degree, you know.
13:57Yeah, ever hear of a thing called a lie detector?
13:59Have I heard of it?
14:02I was married to one for eight years.
14:04Come on, Harry.
14:15You needn't try to escape because I'm just as handy with my gun as I am with my fists.
14:19He's a crack shot.
14:21Once during a jailbreak, he killed four escaping prisoners.
14:24I hollered at the men to halt, but they wouldn't, so I fired.
14:27And a prisoner bit the dust.
14:29I fired again, and another prisoner bit the dust.
14:31I fired again, and the third prisoner bit the dust.
14:34They were biting pretty good that day.
14:40Have a look, William.
14:42Well, get your jaw ready. Here comes the night shift.
14:46Gentlemen, I'm a lawyer. I think I can get you damages.
14:49We've got enough damages. What we want now is repairs.
14:52So much of my business is done in this jail.
14:54The chief allows me to carry my own key.
14:58That's a good idea, J.D. Remind me to have a key made.
15:01Any trouble? No, thanks. We just had some.
15:03Been in a fight? Huh?
15:05Been in a fight? No.
15:07Somebody left the window open, and we were attacked like a butterfly.
15:12So you're a lawyer, huh? I am.
15:17You'll excuse us for not knowing it. Sure.
15:19But you're the first lawyer we ever saw that had his hands in his own pocket.
15:28You boys married? No.
15:31This is the worst thing that ever happened to us.
15:36Well, tell me just what happened.
15:38Well, first of all, we were arrested on the mistaken charge of kidnapping.
15:41And then a couple of officers takes us down to this cell and starts to get rough with us.
15:45They didn't do you any bodily harm, did they? Did they?
15:47One of them comes up behind me and kicks me over the air and sends me spinning around the chair like that.
15:51Well, he didn't do that, did he? Yeah, sure.
15:53Then the officer that has me jabs Charlie in the ribs with a gun just like that.
15:57And then he sucked me in the jaw like that.
15:59Yes, and then the officer comes up to me, and he hits me so hard with his fist
16:03that he knocks me right back onto the bed.
16:07I ask you, do you call that justice?
16:11Well, will you look at that?
16:13I'll tell you what.
16:16I ask you, do you call that justice?
16:20Well, will you look at that? He's not even interested.
16:22Sleeping while we're talking to him.
16:24It would serve him right if we got another lawyer.
16:31Hello. What?
16:33Just a moment.
16:37It's for you.
16:41I'll release them at once.
16:43Bring in Hamilton and Williams.
16:45Yes, sir.
16:51Oh, pardon me.
16:54We thought this was the way out.
16:56Come in, gentlemen.
16:58Don't be bashful.
17:01This is Mrs. Heath, Billy's mother.
17:04She told me about you.
17:07Billy's mother.
17:09She told me that you were only trying to bring the boy back home.
17:13Billy didn't realize that you might actually be taken for criminals.
17:18Ridiculous. Nobody could ever make that mistake.
17:21Oh, now, please don't be concerned.
17:23We were delighted to be of service.
17:25I'm very grateful to you.
17:27You see, Billy's been a great comfort to me since we lost his daddy.
17:31Well, a fine little fellow like Billy should have a father.
17:34That bond won't merely make you wealthy, but it'll make you fortunate.
17:38But remember, I'm doing this as a special favor to you.
17:41So don't tell anyone.
17:43I'll not mention it to his daughter.
17:46Well, let's all go to the hotel.
17:48I want you to be my guests.
17:50Thank you so much, Chief.
17:53Come. Let's be on our way.
17:57To the bonus money.
18:04Well, now that you've seen it, how do you like our little city?
18:07It's a lovely, fat little town.
18:09I know I'm going to like Chesterville very much.
18:11I hope so.
18:14Is that a soldier?
18:18Of course.
18:20Can you imagine wasting good money on cigars?
18:24He ought to be court-martialed.
18:27Yoo-hoo, Chuffy! It's me, Gertie!
18:30I knew it was too good to last.
18:34Who's the Susie?
18:36Oh!
18:40Stop trucking. Meet Mrs. E.
18:42This is Gertie, our secretary.
18:44How do you do?
18:45Hello.
18:46Oh, stop it. Come here, Chickie.
18:48Come here.
18:50Come here.
18:52Come here.
18:54Come here.
18:56Come here, Chick. Have a seat.
18:58Come on, baby.
19:03What a lovely dog.
19:05Have you raised him from a pup?
19:07Certainly.
19:10What else could you raise a dog from?
19:13Personally, I prefer lap dogs.
19:15Oh, Snuffy's too bashful.
19:17He never lets anybody sit in his lap.
19:21Gertie has such a subtle sense of humor.
19:23I'll go see about your room.
19:26Oh, you must be very tired after such a trying morning.
19:28Yes.
19:30I never was so close to being tried in all my life.
19:34We'll be delighted to accept your hospitality, Mrs. E.
19:39How did you get here?
19:41Well, an Indian gave me a ride.
19:43An Indian?
19:44That's what it said on the side of the motorcycle.
19:47You ought to be wearing that collar instead of Snuffy.
19:49Oh, I tried it once, but it was too big.
19:56Like an ordinary bond, my dear.
19:58Ordinary bonds pay interest.
20:00There's no telling what this bond may pay.
20:03And I'm not putting it on the market right now.
20:07Pardon me. I have to say goodbye to Mr. Williams.
20:10Just a moment.
20:14Well, goodbye, Charlie.
20:17Goodbye, dear.
20:20I think it's for the best, don't you?
20:22Well, it's a tough way to part,
20:24but I guess it's the only way out of it.
20:27I hope you like it there.
20:29There? I'm going to stay here.
20:32A lot of money lying around.
20:34Easy money.
20:36You do want to stay on us, don't you?
20:38You'll never do it.
20:40You can't.
20:42It would be the acne of impossibility.
20:44Move on, J.D.
20:46Save your soul.
20:50Charlie, I told you to drop me at the nearest railroad station.
20:53This is it.
20:55Your car is out in front.
20:57Goodbye, Charlie.
21:00Goodbye, J.D.
21:02Shelby, where are you going?
21:04Heaven only knows.
21:07Well, I guess that's as good a place as any.
21:09I'm happy.
21:11We're going to heaven.
21:16Wouldn't you like some lunch?
21:18No, thanks. I'm not hungry.
21:20Pardon me, Mother.
21:22Mr. Martin wants to see you.
21:24Oh, tell him I'll be right there.
21:26Okay.
21:28Mr. Martin wants to buy some property I own.
21:30I don't know why.
21:32It isn't worth anything.
21:34It's near the soldier's home.
21:36The boys need it for a ball field.
21:38Well, if he wants it, then it's valuable to him.
21:40You know, I'm sort of a salesman myself.
21:42Maybe I can help you.
21:44Well, that would be nice of you.
21:48Mr. Martin, this is Mr. Hammond.
21:51I understand you're looking at some property I'm interested in.
21:53I thought I'd buy it if the price was right.
21:56I'll give you $1,500 for it.
21:58Oh, well, that's a very good offer.
22:00I'll give you $1,750.
22:05$2,000.
22:08$2,500.
22:10$3,000.
22:12$3,250.
22:16I'll give you $3,500.
22:18Oh, well, I...
22:20$4,000 in cash.
22:24Who are you?
22:26I'm Mr. Hamilton's partner, and he's my partner.
22:28That's the way we are, partners now and forever.
22:30Yeah, one for one and all for all.
22:32I mean, all for all and not for one.
22:34Gertie, don't make some big business.
22:36Go outside and take Gertie. We're snuffy with you.
22:38Well, bye.
22:42Well, you partners own it.
22:45I don't know how to thank you.
22:47When J.D. and I want to thank you,
22:49it's all over but the congratulations.
22:53Isn't that right, J.D.?
22:56I'm so indebted to you both.
22:58Well, really, you know, it was nothing, Mrs. Heath.
23:00You mean a lot to me just now.
23:02$4,000 and in cash.
23:04Yes, indeed.
23:06And my check is practically cash.
23:08Only cash is cash.
23:10Right you are, partner.
23:12Here's my $2,000, Mrs. Heath.
23:14My partner will pay the rest.
23:18Go on, pay her.
23:24There you are.
23:26I'll get you a receipt.
23:29I thought I told you to get out of town.
23:31You did, but you didn't have to.
23:33I'm sorry.
23:36I thought I told you to get out of town.
23:38You did, but you didn't tell me to stay out.
23:40What did you have to make that bid for?
23:42I thought I was doing you a favor, J.D.
23:44Yes, and I was only trying to help Mrs. Heath.
23:46Now we're hooked $4,000 worth.
23:52What do we buy?
24:02Why did you let them outbid you?
24:04If we were to buy the Allam property at twice the price,
24:06we'd have paid Mrs. Heath's place.
24:08I only did what you told me, Mr. Grayson.
24:10You said $3,500 was our top price.
24:12You might have used your brains.
24:14You know that if we're going to build a gambling casino,
24:16it has to be as near the soldier's home as possible.
24:20What do you suppose they want it for?
24:22Do you think they're after the bonus money, too?
24:24I don't know who they are or what they're up to,
24:26but I'll soon find out.
24:28What did you say their names are?
24:30Hamilton and Williams.
24:33Where are your other trousers?
24:35Being pressed.
24:45Just a minute, J.D.
24:47You're packing my bag.
24:49That's right.
24:51You're going away.
24:53I can't leave now.
24:55I'm a property owner.
24:57The taxes will soon be due,
24:59and what will people say if I run away?
25:01I paid $4,000 for a bacon lot,
25:03and all it's good for is a baseball field.
25:05I've got it.
25:07We can charge admission to the ball game.
25:09I'm going to get rid of this property
25:11for anything it'll bring,
25:13and then I'm going to get rid of you.
25:23Well, I fooled you that time.
25:27Gertie!
25:30Oh, Martin comes to lunch at 12.30.
25:32Didn't he say so?
25:34Martin's our customer.
25:36We'll take a loss and get rid of all encumbrances.
25:44Now see, you should get rid of your circumferences, too.
25:52Oh, Mr. Martin.
25:54I'm glad you happened in.
25:56We were just talking about you.
25:58It's about that property we bought yesterday.
26:00Now, Mr. Martin,
26:02we were thinking...
26:04Your partner's all right.
26:06No, really, we've been unfair to you.
26:08It's not right that a couple of strangers
26:10should come in town and take a choice piece of property
26:12away from one of the townspeople.
26:14A splendid piece of property,
26:16increasing in value daily,
26:18beautifully situated,
26:20and sought after by many investors.
26:22Maybe we'd better not sell it.
26:24Sell it?
26:27$3,500.
26:29But I don't want it.
26:31It's the same property you wanted yesterday.
26:33We'll make your price $3,000.
26:35$2,500.
26:37$2,000.
26:39$1,500.
26:41Going, going. Do I hear $1,000?
26:43Get away from me.
26:45$1,000.
26:47Did you say $1,000?
26:49The price is $1,000.
26:51What do you say, Mr. Martin?
26:53Come here, boys.
26:55Are you gamblers?
26:57Sure, of course.
26:59I just bought the Allen property across from yours.
27:01I'm building a gambling casino.
27:03Drop in sometime.
27:05Maybe you can win your $4,000 back.
27:11A gambling casino with a dirty crook.
27:13He's after that bonus money.
27:15Yeah, so let's serve him right
27:17if we went out and got it ourselves.
27:19We'll do nothing of the kind.
27:22Who are you looking for?
27:24Cats. Tomcats.
27:26Oh, well, then Snuffy will help you look.
27:28If there's any cats in this hotel, he'll find them.
27:36I really like Chesterville.
27:38And you know what impresses me most
27:40is the charm of its people.
27:42What could a town like this
27:44hope for a man like you?
27:46Well, you know, I've always wanted to be a country gentleman.
27:48Oh, Mr. Hamilton, just a minute.
27:50And I'll have both those trucks up to your place in the morning.
27:52Thank you very kindly.
27:54Trucks?
27:56Evidently you're going to be
27:58a very active country gentleman.
28:00Yeah, well, you see, I just bought a farm.
28:02You did?
28:04Hello, Mrs. Heath.
28:06Hello, Mr. Hamilton.
28:08We just arrived for that carload of lumber.
28:10Lumber?
28:12Yes, your secretary phoned in the order.
28:14Thanks very much.
28:16I'll be around to see you when I have a little more time.
28:19Well, when are you starting to build?
28:21Well, I haven't decided just as yet, but...
28:23Oh, Mr. Hamilton, that order of the...
28:25That's all right.
28:27Don't mention it.
28:31Jerome!
28:33This is a surprise.
28:40Why didn't you tell me?
28:42Well, I... I was just going to,
28:44but you stay here just a moment
28:46and I'll be right back.
28:49Yes, but you promised to deliver the couch and chairs this morning.
28:51What?
28:53Then they should be here any minute.
28:55If you see that secretary of mine,
28:57send her right back to the office.
29:01What's the meaning of all this?
29:03I'll be with you in a second.
29:05Hello?
29:07Hello?
29:12Hello?
29:14Thanks.
29:16Hello?
29:18Mr. Hamilton, Williams Incorporated.
29:20J.D. Hamilton speaking.
29:22What?
29:24I never ordered any such thing.
29:26If I did, you didn't send it.
29:28If you sent it, I didn't get it.
29:30If I got it, I paid for it.
29:32If I didn't, I won't.
29:34What's the idea of using my name?
29:36What's the matter with your name?
29:38You're not ashamed of it, are you?
29:40Why don't you put your shoes on?
29:42What, scratch the disc?
29:44What's all this stuff?
29:47I'd like to know what this is all about.
29:49Well, I'll tell you, J.D.
29:51We're in the Earl business.
29:53Earl business?
29:55Yes, O-I-L, Earl.
29:57And you expect me to go into this business with you?
30:01You're all revealed that you're the president.
30:03Listen, I don't know anything about this business.
30:07That's just why you'll make a good president.
30:09Hamilton and Williams?
30:11Yes.
30:13You can't get me mixed up in anything like this.
30:15I'm telling you right now, Charlie,
30:17I'm having nothing to do with this business.
30:19Now, don't be so hasty in your judgment, J.D.
30:23Look at this.
30:25What's that?
30:27I found it on our property.
30:29For years, it was second base on the Chesterfield baseball field.
30:31But nobody knew it until I discovered it.
30:33What, second base?
30:35No, it's oil.
30:37Black gold, J.D.
30:39Oil shale.
30:41Where you find this rock, there's oil.
30:44You can ask any geologist.
30:46I will.
30:48Then go ahead and ask me.
30:50Where do you want this pouch?
30:52Over there, alongside the wall.
30:56A fine geologist you are.
30:58You don't even know where this rock originally came from.
31:00Thousands of years ago, the glaciers brought that down.
31:02The glaciers?
31:04Where are the glaciers now?
31:06They've gone back for more rocks.
31:14You should have been here two hours ago.
31:16Why, what happened?
31:18Oh, I'm washing my hands of this whole affair.
31:20You and your money-making schemes.
31:22First, you get a gold mine.
31:24It's going to be a bonanza.
31:26Then you discover oil.
31:28Yeah, sounds like a lot of bonanza oil to me, too.
31:32Gertie, answer that phone.
31:34If it's for me, I'm out.
31:36Hamilton and, uh...
31:38Hamilton and...
31:40Hamilton and Williams Incorporated.
31:42Mr. Williams Corrupted?
31:44All of our supply companies call him Mr. Williams.
31:46He's not in.
31:48Well, of course I'm sure.
31:50You don't doubt his word, do you?
31:52What's that?
31:54Oh, this department won't ship the order to its paid file?
31:56Cancel the order.
31:58We can't wait that long.
32:00Bye.
32:02And this is the kind of racket you wanted me to go into?
32:04Don't be silly.
32:06J.D. will make a fortune.
32:08Listen, Charlie, why don't you stop this crooked business and go straight?
32:11Go straight?
32:13What, and land in jail again?
32:15Do you realize how much it costs to sink a well?
32:17Don't let that worry you.
32:19I can sell enough stock in two days to take care of that.
32:21No, I'm through with the whole thing.
32:23Take my name off of everything.
32:25But this is a perfectly legitimate business, I tell you, J.D.
32:27Chubby, can you fix this?
32:29The radio must be busted.
32:31I can't get any music on it.
32:33Gertie, why don't you get some brains?
32:35What station are they on?
32:37Listen, Gertie.
32:39Can't you hear I'm talking to Mr. Hamilton?
32:41Oh, well, I didn't know you wanted me to listen.
32:46J.D., wait a minute.
32:48There's nothing to wait for.
32:50I'm through.
32:52And you won't be my partner?
32:54No, positively and definitely no.
32:56Tom, in office.
32:58I'm glad you feel that way about it, my dear.
33:00Oh, I'm so glad about it.
33:02Until today, I couldn't make myself believe you'd really stay in Texas.
33:05Well, I'm glad you feel that way about it.
33:07Oh, you've such excellent taste in everything you've bought.
33:09Yes.
33:11J.D. has good taste.
33:13Haven't I?
33:15This furniture must have been pricely expensive.
33:17Nothing but the best.
33:19Why not?
33:21When you don't intend paying for the stuff,
33:23it is cheap to buy expensive things
33:25as it is to buy cheap ones.
33:27Gertie will have her little joke.
33:29Hamilton and Williams Incorporated.
33:31And Mr. Hamilton is the president.
33:33What business are you in?
33:35Earl. Oil.
33:37Oh, I'm so proud of you.
33:39Gertie, get out.
33:41Let the lady sit down.
33:43Since we found oil on the land you sold it,
33:45Mr. Hamilton and I have decided to give you the opportunity
33:47to participate in the profit.
33:51But we have made you buy the land.
33:53I'm sorry.
33:56But we have made you vice president.
33:58Oh, Jerome.
34:00How thoughtful of you.
34:02I'll be the envy of everyone in Chesterville.
34:04And tomorrow we're going to have an artist
34:06make an oil painting of you to hang on our wall here.
34:08This is the first time I've ever been down in oil.
34:10Me too.
34:16We'll have to do something about Hamilton and Williams.
34:18I'll take care of them as soon as they begin to interfere with us.
34:20They're interfering right now.
34:22The whole town's begging to get in on that profit.
34:24I tell you, Mr. Grayson, they'll have every dime in Chesterville
34:26if we don't stop them.
34:28I don't trust those fellows any more than you do.
34:30But until I'm sure there's no oil in that well, I'm...
34:34Yes?
34:36Send him right in.
34:38And we'll learn something right now.
34:42Good afternoon, gentlemen.
34:44Hello, Briggs.
34:46Well, what does it look like?
34:48Oh, I don't know yet.
34:50I'll have a better idea when we get 2,000 feet.
34:53I don't have to wait that long to tell you what to call me.
34:55Well, personally, I don't think there's oil
34:57within 100 miles of here.
34:59I don't care what you think.
35:01You've got to be sure. That's what I'm paying you for.
35:03Don't worry. You're thinking of investing.
35:05You'll know if there's oil there before anyone else.
35:08I'm relying on you, Briggs.
35:12Look at these.
35:14Bills, bills, and more bills.
35:18Bills?
35:20There's nothing to worry about, J.D.
35:22We're already down to $18.65.
35:24You mean we're down to $18.65?
35:27Hardly enough to bail us out of jail.
35:29Lucky for us, I made Mrs. Heath vice president of the company.
35:31I'll tell you that.
35:33What have you been up to now?
35:35If you bother her, I'll...
35:37I didn't do anything, J.D., but those guys said
35:39if we didn't pay them off in 24 hours,
35:41they were going to hold Mrs. Heath responsible.
35:43A fine kettle of fish you cooked up.
35:45I never cooked any fish.
35:47All my life I've wanted to meet a woman like her,
35:49and now you've ruined it.
35:52If you'll only let me unload some stock on those soldiers,
35:54we can make plenty of money.
35:56I won't do it, Charlie.
35:58We won't have a thing to do with a bit of that bonus money.
36:00Now, don't be a snob, J.D.
36:02If it's good enough for Grayson and Martin,
36:04it ought to be good enough for us.
36:06Grayson? What are you talking about?
36:08He's the big works. Martin's just the front.
36:10Oh, so that's why he's been giving us all this trouble.
36:12He's afraid we'll take that bonus money away from him.
36:14Well, listen, I'm going to get Louise out of this
36:16if it's the last thing I do.
36:18But, J.D., if you'll only...
36:20How are you back again?
36:24I'm a detective.
36:26Here's one of my cards.
36:36I know what's worrying you.
36:38You have no oil in your car.
36:40I know.
36:42I know.
36:44I know.
36:46I know.
36:49You have no oil in your well.
36:51Who told you that?
36:53I heard Mr. Briggs tell to Mr. Grayson and Mr. Martin.
36:55Where did you hear that?
36:57I was outside of Mr. Grayson's window.
36:59I was detecting the bank.
37:01Nice work, Billy.
37:03From now on, you're working for me.
37:05Don't tell anybody.
37:07Okay, Chief.
37:09It's a professional secret.
37:19I wonder if you'd be good enough
37:21to get me a report on these bonds, Mr. Grayson.
37:23Consolidated Gold Mining Corporation.
37:25Never heard of them.
37:27Neither have I.
37:29That's why I brought them in.
37:31They were given to me by Briggs, our chief driller.
37:33Briggs?
37:35Yeah.
37:37An excellent geologist, by the way.
37:39And don't let this go any further,
37:41but he has just confirmed
37:43what only Mr. Williams and myself know.
37:45We are due to bring in a big gusher any day.
37:47Gusher?
37:49Yeah.
37:51There's no telling how big it's going to be,
37:53and he's begging to get in on the ground floor,
37:55and he's given us these bonds for a 10% interest.
37:57I'll soon find out what they're worth.
37:59Get me a report
38:01on the Consolidated Gold Mining Corporation
38:03from the Wall Street Journal.
38:05Do you have a cigar?
38:07No, thanks.
38:09I understood that you weren't taking in
38:11any outside money on this first well.
38:14Well, we didn't intend to,
38:16but Briggs has done such a good job
38:18that we kind of thought we'd give him a chance
38:20to make a little extra money, you know,
38:22as a sort of a bonus for his services.
38:24That's very generous of you.
38:26Oh, not at all.
38:28Well, as long as you're taking in other people,
38:30I might be interested in making a little investment myself.
38:32Hmm. Oh, no.
38:34As much as we would like to be associated
38:36with a man of your caliber, we couldn't think of it.
38:38Yes?
38:40Oh, all right.
38:42Those bonds are worthless.
38:44Why, that double-crosser,
38:46that chiseler.
38:48Give me Cheserville 672.
38:50I can't understand why Briggs would want to cheat us.
38:52We thought he was always so loyal.
38:54Oh, hello.
38:56Harry, this is Mr. Hamilton.
38:58Fire Briggs at once.
39:00Understand that?
39:02At once.
39:04Well, thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Grayson.
39:06I hate to tell my partner
39:08he's such a troublemaker.
39:11I hate to tell my partner he's such a trusting soul.
39:13Would you consider a $25,000 offer
39:15for a half-interest in your oil well?
39:17Oh, well, hardly.
39:19Just a moment.
39:21I might be willing to go higher.
39:23Well, how much higher?
39:25A double, $50,000.
39:27Sold.
39:41Mr. Williams.
39:43Just the man we want to see.
39:45Well, here I am.
39:47The boys have been watching your operations for some time.
39:49I've got to be going.
39:51I'll see you later.
39:53Wait a minute, Mr. Williams.
39:55We've got something to say to you.
39:57I'll get the box.
39:59We've been talking it over,
40:01and we decided to let you have it.
40:03Wait a minute, fellas.
40:05I didn't do anything.
40:07I didn't do anything.
40:09There.
40:11Take a look at this.
40:17Is it real?
40:19The boys and I have raised $40,000,
40:21and we want to be taken in right now.
40:23You, uh...
40:25You want to be taken in?
40:27I was just going to your office
40:29to make Mr. Hamilton accept this.
40:31But now that you're here,
40:33you'll take care of it, won't you?
40:35Well, I'll take care of it.
40:38You'll take care of it, won't you?
40:40We won't take no for an answer.
40:42Will we, boys?
40:44No!
40:46Well, you insist.
40:48And in appreciation,
40:50we're going to make you honor every colonel in our post.
40:52That's swell, fellas.
40:54I always wanted to march in a parade.
40:56Thank you, Colonel Williams.
40:58Salute your colonel.
41:00Right face.
41:02Left face.
41:04About face.
41:06Left face.
41:08About face.
41:10Right face.
41:12Left face.
41:14About face.
41:20Well, I put it over.
41:22You put it over.
41:24I put it over.
41:26What are you talking about?
41:28I just sold half-interest aggration for $50,000.
41:30And I just sold a soldier's half-interest for $40,000.
41:32Oh, tell me that again.
41:35I didn't do it to help a J.D.
41:37They made me take their money.
41:39Here I hooked Grayson to get us out of this jam.
41:41Then you queer it.
41:43Do you realize we haven't got an interest in our own well?
41:45I should have known you'd get your sticky fingers
41:47on that bonus money.
41:49Give that back to the boys.
41:51I can't.
41:53Why not?
41:55I can't.
41:57Well, someone had to pay those bills.
41:59Yes, and you have to start a phony oil well.
42:01Here's Grayson's money.
42:03Why the getaway?
42:05We can buy Grayson's half and let the boys keep their own share.
42:07What did you say?
42:11Here he comes.
42:13There he is now.
42:15Oh, hiya, Colonel.
42:17We're sticking around here to let Gusher blows in.
42:19Yeah, I brought my umbrella.
42:21The deal we just made is off, boys.
42:23What?
42:25I'm sorry, fellas, but Mr. Hamilton says we can't take your money.
42:27Say, you can't do this to us.
42:29A deal's a deal.
42:32Well, you've got to do it, please,
42:34as a special favor for me.
42:36Here, give everybody back his share.
42:38Not on your life.
42:40You can't treat me that way.
42:42It ain't fair.
42:44Yeah, it ain't fair to try and do us out of our share this well, either.
42:46I'm your colonel, and you've got to do as I say.
42:48Oh, very good, Colonel William.
42:50Just a minute.
42:52Now, now.
42:58All right, boys, salute your colonel.
43:00I'll have a court-martial for this.
43:02I'll call up the militia. That's what I'll do.
43:04Yeah, you can laugh at me all about.
43:20Well?
43:22I told you, sir, I couldn't help it.
43:24You couldn't help what? Did you give them the money?
43:26They wouldn't take it.
43:29They gave me another $10,000.
43:33Where are you going?
43:39Hello.
43:41Hello, Jerome.
43:43Would you mind putting this in your safe?
43:45Of course not.
43:47Shut up.
43:53Can I see you for just a moment, Louise?
43:55Certainly.
43:57In private.
44:19Well, I just got fired, Mr. Wiseman.
44:23And we're wise to you, too.
44:26What do you mean?
44:28You can forget the act, Riggs.
44:30I found out that you were secretly trying to buy an interest in that oil well.
44:32And with worthless bonds at that.
44:34You're crazy. What do I want to buy in there for?
44:36We're down almost 2,000 feet and there's no oil.
44:38I've had enough with your lies.
44:40The best thing you can do is to...
44:42Oh, pardon me, Mr. Grayson.
44:44I didn't know you were busy.
44:46Well, what is it?
44:48A consolidated gold mine bond.
44:50I've never seen one before.
44:52Jed Bowers wants to cash it in.
44:54Yes, sir.
44:56Come on in, Jed.
45:00Oh, how are you doing, Mr. Grayson?
45:02Hello, Jed. Where did you get this bond?
45:04From my parents, Mr. Williams.
45:06It was a bargain, too.
45:08Well, you leave it here and I'll find out what it's worth.
45:10I appreciate that, Mr. Grayson.
45:12Good day.
45:14Have you seen one of these bonds before?
45:18No.
45:20We've been swindled.
45:23Well, they won't get away with this.
45:25Go out and get those fellows and bring them in here.
45:27With pleasure.
45:31Yes?
45:33Send them in.
45:37Hello, Griggs.
45:39Why aren't you on the job?
45:41Sit down.
45:44I'll take my hat off instead.
45:46I haven't got time to stay, Mr. Grayson.
45:48I just dropped in to ask you a little favor.
45:50I'd like to buy back your half-inch of the wealth.
45:54You got the money with you?
45:56Yeah.
45:58There.
46:02There's your agreement.
46:04Thanks, Mr. Grayson.
46:06Just a moment, Mr. Williams.
46:08Didn't change your mind, did you?
46:10Recognize this?
46:12Looks familiar. What is it?
46:14Consolidated gold mine bond.
46:16Fancy that.
46:19Well, I guess I'd better be going.
46:25Give me the chief of police.
46:29Hello. Chief?
46:31This is Mr. Grayson.
46:33About Hamilton and Williams. They're crooks.
46:35They've been selling consolidated gold mine bonds.
46:37Why, they must be the fellows who had to skip out of Oakland
46:39under the name of McAllister and Watson.
46:43I'll have the roadblocks.
46:45Pick up Hamilton and Williams immediately.
46:47The swindlers.
46:49Yes, sir.
46:54Come here, fellas.
46:56What's the matter?
46:58Hamilton and Williams are both crooks.
47:00They wandered in Oakland on a swindling charge.
47:02You'll never see a penny of your money again.
47:04Well, boys.
47:06We've been tipped.
47:08There's no oil in that well.
47:10Those two fellows have been taking us for a ride, that's all.
47:12They won't get away with it.
47:15They won't get us.
47:22What's the rush?
47:24Don't ask questions. Let's get out of here.
47:26I thought you weren't going.
47:28That was a half hour ago. Come on, the police will be here any minute.
47:30Police?
47:32What have you been up to now?
47:34Police are wise to pick up one of the gold bonds.
47:36Where's my bag? Where's my hat?
47:38You're wearing it. Oh, yeah.
47:40What are we doing? We're making a getaway.
47:42That's right.
47:44Let's get out of here.
47:51Oh, you got a headache, chubby?
47:53No, just thinking.
47:55Aren't you going to stay for your own party?
47:57A party? What are you talking about?
47:59Well, there's a mob out there,
48:01and I heard them say there was coming up for a necktie party.
48:05Necktie party.
48:07We're not a scare, are we, J.D.? Let's beat it.
48:09They found out there's no oil in the well.
48:11What's that? No oil?
48:14Well, that gusher's so close to the top, the derrick is floating.
48:16Why don't you tell them?
48:18That's just what I'll do.
48:24Maybe I better write them a letter.
48:28But you can't go away leaving me here all alone.
48:30You'll have plenty of company when the mob gets here.
48:32Come on, Curly, if you're coming.
48:34But I can't go without my baby.
48:36Where's my baby?
48:44Stop it, stop it!
48:46Here's your mama.
49:00Broadcast number 405.
49:02Attention, all state cars.
49:04Be on the lookout for a gray Auburn Sport Phaeton.
49:06License 3B1286.
49:09Two conference cars.
49:113B1286.
49:13Two conference men wanted at Chesterville.
49:15That is all.
49:41Yeah!
49:53One thing anyway, the boys are not going to lose any money.
49:56I left it with Louise to return to them.
49:58Poor Mrs. Heath.
50:00She'll have a tough time explaining to that mob.
50:02What have you been up to now?
50:04Nothing.
50:06See, we had to have a share of our own oil well.
50:08Go on.
50:11You won't get mad now.
50:13Go on.
50:15So I took the money out of the safe and bought back Grayson's half interest.
50:17I might have known it.
50:19Well, we're going back.
50:21You're crazy.
50:23I'm not going to let Louise take the rap for us.
50:25Well, I'm going to get out of here.
50:27Sit down.
50:29You started this, now you're going to see it through.
50:31This will save us ten years.
50:37Mrs. Heath, we want to talk to you.
50:39You're to blame for this.
50:41You talked us into giving them our money.
50:43There's nothing to get excited about.
50:45Those men are perfectly honest.
50:47Oh, yeah? Then why did they skip out with our money?
50:49Mr. Hamilton told me he might have to leave town.
50:51Lucky for him he left when he did.
50:53We want our dough.
50:55I have your money.
50:57Billy, get the cash box out of the safe.
50:59They left it with me.
51:01I don't believe it.
51:03Yeah, where is it?
51:05Then give it to us.
51:08Just as I told you.
51:10You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
51:12believing such rumors.
51:14Oh.
51:16There, you see? We've been tricked.
51:18Mrs. Heath is in it, too.
51:20She's vice president of the company.
51:22Come on, that's all.
51:30Come on.
51:32Come on.
51:34I'd better stay here.
51:36I don't want to lose my temper.
51:38She's just trying to cover up for those swindlers.
51:40She's as guilty as they are.
51:42It's a lie.
51:44Mrs. Heath had nothing to do with it.
51:46There they are, boys. Let's get them.
51:52All right, boys. Come on.
51:54Come on.
51:58Get him.
52:01Get him.
52:11Gentlemen, if you'll just be patient,
52:13I'll see to it that you get every penny back.
52:15Where?
52:17As soon as we hit oil.
52:19Help! Police!
52:21Aren't there any cops in this town?
52:31J.D.,
52:33what are they going to do, barbecue us?
52:35I'll say we'll barbecue you.
52:37Gentlemen, you're making a terrible mistake.
52:39Oh, no, we're not.
52:41You made the mistake when you came to Chesterville.
52:43You're telling me.
52:45When we get through with you,
52:47no other swindlers will ever come near this town.
52:49Hello, chubby.
52:51Why don't you ride a horse?
52:53Gertie, call me a policeman, quick.
52:55You're a policeman.
52:57That's with an R.
52:59Come on, boys.
53:01Come on.
53:03Come on.
53:05Come on.
53:07Hurry up.
53:09Hold.
53:11Let's do the trick.
53:13Yeah.
53:16Let's do the trick.
53:18Yeah.
53:34Stand back, everybody.
53:46Come on.
53:54Look!
53:56Look at it!
53:58Come on.
54:14J.D., it's oil.
54:16Why didn't you tell me there was oil in that well?
54:18Gertie, untie this rope.
54:20No, I can't.
54:22I still have my manicure.
54:24Billy, stay here.
54:28Our pal.
54:30We knew you were okay from the start.
54:32Sure, we're only kids.
54:34If you boys want to sell your stock back,
54:36it's okay with us.
54:38Jerome!
54:40I'm so happy.
54:42Wasn't it thrilling?
54:46Now, wait a minute, buddy.
54:48We want to have a talk with you two, Bert.
54:50What again?
54:52It's not too tight, officer.
54:54I got a wire from the Oakland police.
54:57All right, chief, we'll go quietly.
54:59They want to tell you that gold has been discovered
55:01in the Consolidated Mine.
55:07Charlie.
55:09Charlie!
55:11What happened?
55:13The gold bonds.
55:15I threw them away.
55:17Don't take it so hard.
55:19I'm not just the same even if you aren't a crook.
55:27Look!
55:29Snuffy!
55:31Nice doggy, Snuffy.
55:33Oh, Snuffy.
55:35Nice dog, Snuffy.
55:37Mommy's baby boy.