I'm Stunned That So Few People, Including Kevin Hart, Kiss Their Dogs

I’ve had Twitter for a while so I’ve always been aware that dog kissing is some white people shit on the level of asking, “have you heard this TED Talk?” Kevin was promoting A Secret Life of Pets 2 so I figured it would be a good time to readdress this cultural divide, I expected him to say no, but what I did not expect was him having literally no clue what I was talking about. He was absolutely perplexed, his face didn’t lie and he’d never heard of such a preposterous idea in his life. Kevin Hart was as lost as I’d be if someone referenced a Martin episode in conversation with me. Just stared in confusion.

Again, I kinda expected that, not the complete loss but certainly some push back. What really shocks me is the response from KFC Radio followers. If I had to guess I’d say if you put the followers of @KFCRadio on Twitter into a big melting pot then the final color would be egg shell white at darkest, and you sons of bitches don’t even kiss your dog? You left me out to dry like that?

Now to be clear, I’m not talking about shoving your tongue down your dog’s throat. Really what I’m saying is letting your dog control the relationship and do as she pleases. Sure, maybe I’ll throw a nose kiss but otherwise I’m just puckering up and letting her go crazy on my face. If you don’t let your dog do that then I’m sorry I just don’t think you’re a good dog owner. When bae wants a kiss, you let her have a kiss. Anything else is withholding love and that’s gonna land you in counseling quick fast.

PS – Kayce says she lets her dog lick her feet. That’s where I draw the line. We’re still civilized people.