Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a woman who was mortified after she farted on a first date and then hear from female listeners about their most embarrassing moments on first dates.
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00:00This woman says she's done with dating because of a mortifying experience she had on a first
00:10date. She hadn't been on a date in two years because, or she hasn't been on a date in two
00:14years because of what happened to her. She accidentally farted in front of her date.
00:22Oh god, that's awful. I mean, that's, it is terrible. I don't know what to, I don't know
00:26what to say to you. I don't know either. It's our, it's our first time hanging out. Your
00:31very first date. I think I'd be like, whoa. What else do you do? You would give an audible
00:41response? I think I would. It's a breezy date. Yikes. I don't know. I don't know how you
00:50make it okay again. I don't know how you bring it back. I have to lift the menu right up.
00:56Oh, that's it. I'd probably be shaking because I'd be laughing. I think that was my shoe.
01:01I think that was my shoe. The guy was so cute, so nice. He walked her home. Oh. When he
01:10went to give her a hug, goodbye. Squeezed it out of her. Oh no. He squeezed her tight and
01:18she farted. She said one of the loudest farts she's ever heard come out of her. She said maybe
01:25it was the pressure of the hug or the relief that I'd survived the date, but I farted so
01:31loudly there was no way of hiding where it had come from or what it was. She said, it's
01:38two years since this happened. Yeah. She says the sound still echoes in her ears. Yeah.
01:42Nightmares. She can still hear the fart of farts. I bet it even is in slow motion. No. In
01:49her ears. And it echoes. Yeah. Do you think it's the classic tale of when you're really
01:56close to getting home and your bowels and everything are just like, hey, we're home.
02:01You can relax now. Let it, let it loose. Let's get, let's, let's go. And unfortunately she
02:06was just still on the porch with this guy. And, uh, she says though, even though she
02:12was mortified, he texted her the next day saying what a wonderful time he'd had, but she said
02:18there was no way I could reply. All these thoughts were swimming through my head about what he
02:22really must think about me. I felt so hideous. Hey, if I've texted you back after you blew
02:28ass, that means you're in. I'm fine with it. I think you're something. I must think you're
02:32something. That's true. If I can let that go. Um, Debbie's with us. I got to run to my car
02:39in Lakeland, Florida. Debbie, we're talking about the most embarrassing thing to happen to you on a
02:44date. All right. So this, this was several years ago. Um, I was out on a date with a guy that was a
02:53couple of years older than I was. He was the cool guy, really good looking guy. And I was like the
02:59weird nerdy girl. So we had gone out and on the way home, I had to use the bathroom so bad,
03:09but I was embarrassed to tell him to pull over and let me go into a, you know, fast food restaurant,
03:17restroom, whatever. As we were pulling into my driveway, I literally peed in his car.
03:26No, Debbie, no. Yes, I did. I acted like nothing at all happened. Oh. And for some crazy reason,
03:36I just hoped that he didn't notice or he would never find out that there was pee all over his car.
03:43Oh, he knows. Obviously that was it, right? It was, you were done with that guy.
03:48You never talked to him again after that?
03:49I was done. I never heard from him again. Got out of his car, walked into my house,
03:56mortified. Never heard from him again.
03:59I don't know if I'd ever date again.
04:01If a lady pissed in your car, you're done dating?
04:04I mean, or if I was the person that filled up a bucket seat like that, I can't be trusted.
04:09Always ask to pull over. Just pull over.
04:11Especially. I got to go to the bathroom.
04:13It's just number one. Yeah.
04:15Oh, well, wait. Oh, well, I get it. As we speak about this, this lady said, you guys, I can outdo that.
04:22She pooped. No.
04:26She pooped. She pooped. That's like a horror movie.
04:29She's coming this fall. She pooped.
04:33We had dinner. Whatever I ate was not sitting well at all. It gave me the run so bad. I had to make him stop the car. I ran out of the car and into the woods to take a dump.
04:52Yep. I live in the woods after that.
04:54Oh, my God. Never to be seen again.
04:56No, I just live in the woods.
04:57It's the old lady that lives in the woods.
04:58Yeah.
05:00Heard she pooped on a date once. She's never left.
05:02Okay, but I can't. Listen, I still think it's better. She at least escaped and did it.
05:08Yeah, but she had to go in the woods.
05:09I know, but he knew.
05:11But, okay, I guess, though, I would assume you just went pee in the woods.
05:17I don't need to know.
05:17I guess that's what you say. That's what you say, right?
05:19Yeah.
05:20What did she wipe out?
05:21Exactly. The smell after.
05:23Oh, man.
05:23Hopefully she wasn't like, just one second, got the runs.
05:27No.
05:29She can't say that.
05:31Don't ever say that.
05:33Just one second, got the runs.
05:35Oh, my God. That should be a sentence never said.
05:37I don't want to hear my lady tell me she's got the runs.
05:42Yes, never, ever refer to it.
05:43Like, upset stomach.
05:44Anything, I guess, is better than the runs.
05:46Don't say that.
05:48Oh, that's terrible.
05:49You have to watch where you eat on dates.
05:51You have to be very careful because of some of those places.
05:54Adair.
05:55Hi.
05:57Hey, what's...
05:58How are you?
05:58We're doing good.
05:59Worst thing that's happened to you on a date.
06:01Most embarrassing.
06:02Oh, man.
06:03He took me to a racetrack, he did.
06:06I got drunk on some moonshine.
06:08I went to the bathroom, knocked the sink off the wall, fell down the steps, broke a couple ribs.
06:14Embarrassed the crap out of this man.
06:16Embarrassed myself.
06:18Got up the next morning, had to go to the hospital.
06:20I never spoke to him again or went back to that racetrack after I completely did all kind of damage, drunk on moonshine.
06:26I dare you.
06:27You are a nightmare on moonshine.
06:30She gets after it.
06:31It's moonshine, babe.
06:33I learned to drop me back to the car.
06:35I fell off the back of the four-wheeler twice.
06:38It was...
06:39Oh, my God.
06:40Oh, my God.
06:41Worst night ever.
06:42But that's it.
06:43You just got to wrap it up.
06:44You can never see that place or those people ever again.
06:46No.
06:46Ever again.
06:47No.
06:48You're done.
06:48Fell down the stairs.
06:49What did she do?
06:50Broke a sink.
06:50Sink.
06:51Yeah.
06:52Wow, what a night.
06:53Ribs.
06:54Broke ribs.
06:55Hospital trip.
06:56Most embarrassing thing to happen to you on a date.
06:58Morgan's in Sandusky.
06:59What happened, Morgan?
07:01This was the second time I was hanging out with a guy.
07:05We went out to Taco Bell for dinner in college.
07:08Oh, yeah.
07:09And we came home.
07:12He had to study, so I fell asleep on his bed.
07:16And I farted so loud.
07:18I woke myself up.
07:21Did you yell, Taco Bell?
07:23Cool.
07:25Boom.
07:25You hear the bell?
07:26You hear the bell?
07:27Damn it.
07:28Boom.
07:31Yeah.
07:31And looked at me.
07:33And I just rolled over and faced the wall, like, mortified until the next morning.
07:38And now we're married with three kids.
07:41Oh, my goodness.
07:42Sometimes.
07:43That worked out.
07:44I think sometimes you've gone through the worst of things.
07:47Yeah.
07:49Sorry.
07:50Do you still eat Taco Bell?
07:52Oh, yeah.
07:52They do.
07:53Yeah, we still eat Taco Bell.
07:54Yeah, that's part of their thing, for sure.
07:57Of course you do.
07:58They found each other, at least.
07:59Yeah.
07:59They found each other.
08:01Lizzie's with us.
08:01Hi, Lizzie.
08:03Hi.
08:04What happened?
08:05How's it going?
08:05Good.
08:06All right.
08:06I was about 19 years old on a party bus to Canada with this guy I just started seeing.
08:12Yep.
08:13And I had to pee so bad on the way back.
08:16My day was pretty drunk, so I decided I was going to pee in this water bottle.
08:19So I pee in the water bottle, and I tried to be slick to dump my pee out the window.
08:24All the windows behind me in the bus were open, so my pee literally flew in through all
08:29the windows, covering all these girls in the back with all my pee.
08:32Oh, you pissed on everybody?
08:36Yes.
08:37I was mortified.
08:38And my date didn't even notice.
08:40No, no.
08:41I still date it like months after.
08:42Oh, well.
08:43Yeah.
08:43I mean, all those girls.
08:44You just put that water bottle on the ground or something.
08:46Just drop it.
08:47Just drop it.
08:47Just drop it.
08:48Yeah, they didn't know who it came from, and I was trying to play stupid, too.
08:51Like, whoo, who did that?
08:54Oh, my God.
08:54I got some on me, too.
08:56What in the hell?
08:57Yeah, I'd be like, yes, Brits and myself.
09:00Like, yes, someone peed on me, too.
09:03There's piss in the air somehow.
09:04I got it.
09:05Yuck.
09:06Like a bird went by.
09:07This is a gross bitch.
09:09Yeah.
09:10And one more here.
09:11Oh, man.
09:12It was a guy's house, like our fourth date, sitting on his white couch.
09:16I had my period.
09:19We smoked some weed, and I coughed so hard, I bled all over his white couch.
09:25What am I to do?
09:27Jeez.
09:28What am I to do?
09:28Sorry, I don't even know what to say.
09:32Did she disappear forever?
09:34New identity?
09:36He was amazingly cool about it.
09:38I cleaned it up the best I could.
09:40He gave me new pants.
09:42We've been together four years.
09:43Oh, my God, that's insane.
09:46This guy is, because I'm, like, drawing a pentagram on the wall.
09:52I'm doing a ritual, and then I'm burning the couch forever.
09:56I just say, whoa!
09:58Whoa!
09:59I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
10:03I don't know.
10:03I'm not, I would want her not to be embarrassed.
10:06That's all I'd want.
10:07Yeah, I mean.
10:08But it's still a shocking moment.
10:10It's just something.
10:10My white couch.
10:11White couch is a bad choice.
10:13Yeah.
10:14Anyway, so.
10:15Oh, man.
10:16I just don't know.
10:17I don't know if we can get there.
10:19You may think.
10:20That's it.
10:20That could be it.
10:21Oh, no, I'm pretty sure.
10:22Oh, that could be it.
10:23I wouldn't know how to bring it up.
10:24Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.