Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a competition at a Michigan strip club that is looking to crown the best butthole and Andy doesn't think it sounds like such a bad night out.
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00:00We're going to get right into the dirty stuff right now.
00:10Oh, dirty off the top.
00:11Right into it.
00:12Dirty.
00:13Right into it.
00:14All right.
00:14Buttholes.
00:15You are correct, sir.
00:16Yeah, I knew it.
00:17I had a feeling.
00:18I was like, it's a butthole kind of morning.
00:21My best kind of morning.
00:23Yeah.
00:23Yeah.
00:24He didn't need to listen to it.
00:25He just went right for it.
00:26No, I had to.
00:27I had to go right for it.
00:29But there is, and honestly, brilliant marketing on behalf of this Metro Detroit area strip club.
00:37Oh, now I know what we're talking about.
00:39I know exactly what he's talking about.
00:41I've been sent it about a hundred times.
00:43Well, thank God you don't, Lisa.
00:44Luckily, you don't, Lisa.
00:45Thank God.
00:46If you did, I knew to me.
00:47Yeah.
00:47Lisa, we know you're about to take part in this.
00:50No.
00:51Not take part.
00:52No.
00:52No.
00:53No.
00:54They are hosting.
00:55You ready for this?
00:56Yes.
00:57Here's the poster for it.
00:58The prettiest butthole in Michigan competition.
00:59Oh, my gosh.
01:01Wow.
01:01Prettiest butthole in Michigan competition.
01:05Has that been done?
01:06Maybe it has.
01:07I don't think so.
01:08I feel like those guys were sitting around a table and they were like, somebody had like
01:11a G, like an epiphany.
01:12Yeah.
01:13Or like Elon Musk walked in and was like, why don't you do prettiest butthole in Michigan?
01:18Why don't you do that?
01:19So, the poster says there's $1,000 in cash prizes up for grabs.
01:26VIP card members get $10 off admission.
01:28But if you have the best B-hole in Michigan, you prove it by going here.
01:33You join them for their first ever, they say, prettiest butthole in Michigan competition.
01:39You could, as I mentioned, earn up to $1,000 in cash prizes.
01:42Show starts at midnight.
01:43Call and ask for details.
01:45I don't think it's ever been done.
01:47Don't you think we would have heard about it at some point?
01:50I think it would have been on our radar.
01:52I would have already had the title.
01:53Yes.
01:54I believe female only.
01:56Oh, yeah.
01:57Well, sorry.
01:57Do you believe?
01:58I mean, do you see anything on there?
02:00It doesn't say women only, but I feel like you'll be killed.
02:03I think we're on to something.
02:04If you try to show your B-hole up.
02:06Enter and win.
02:06Sorry, ladies.
02:07Uh-huh.
02:08The end of this butthole.
02:10Some are better than others, guys.
02:12Yeah.
02:12Yep.
02:13You know?
02:13No doubt.
02:14That's great news for the local area that does anal bleaching.
02:18Oh, my God.
02:19Yeah, they are.
02:19They're swamped.
02:21Yeah.
02:21There's at least eight strippers.
02:24Brazilian waxes and anal bleaching is going up.
02:26Yep.
02:28I wonder how many people will show up.
02:30I'm interested to see.
02:32But you know what?
02:33These days, Lise, all bets are off.
02:36I agree.
02:38All bets are off.
02:38The anal is so big, so many people are into asses, that I'm sure a lot of women keep
02:44them sparkling, clean.
02:46I love a competition.
02:48You know?
02:49The economy's so bad, it's a thousand bucks.
02:52Yeah, that's it.
02:53That's the cash prize.
02:54Normally, like a stripper that used to be just what they made that night.
02:58Seems like it should be like ten grand.
03:00Yeah.
03:01Lise is the only one that's talking about the prettiest butthole in Michigan competition.
03:04He says, gosh.
03:05Yeah.
03:06Yeah.
03:06I feel like there should be more.
03:09And you're right.
03:10Like, if I'm whipping out my b-hole, there's got to be a lot of money on the line.
03:14Well, there isn't.
03:15Come on, man.
03:16Everybody's got one.
03:17It's not that special.
03:18And honestly, I feel like everybody's is out there online.
03:23So it's just the novelty of the contest, which I'm all for.
03:29What I love, I'd love a behind-the-scenes look, like talking to the girls, because they
03:34all know who has the best one.
03:36You think going in, they already know?
03:37Oh, yeah.
03:38I bet they do.
03:38They're already.
03:39I bet they have a pretty good idea.
03:42I got this.
03:43There's probably two.
03:44All right, Destiny.
03:45Who do you think is going to be leading this competition here?
03:47Well, you know Mercedes has this.
03:49Mercedes.
03:49Okay.
03:50She's a very nice one.
03:51Yeah.
03:52Chuck and I saw a stripper once who could win worst butthole.
03:55Well, could you really even see the butthole?
03:57Oh, you're right.
03:58Hairiest b-hole.
03:59Yeah.
03:59She wouldn't win, I guess.
04:01The hairiest female b-hole we saw in a strip club once.
04:03Yeah.
04:04Yeah.
04:04Honestly.
04:04I mean, you can't even say it was the b-hole.
04:07It was the entire crack was a full line.
04:11Yeah, but when she bent over, you're right.
04:12You didn't see, but you just saw.
04:14It was a full, it was full hair.
04:15Back bush.
04:16Yeah.
04:16She had a back bush.
04:17Her bush went from the front all the way to the tailbone.
04:21She didn't care.
04:22She was like, whatever.
04:23She was a Tuesday lunchtime stripper.
04:25Yes.
04:25At the worst club in town.
04:26Was she out of it?
04:28No, I don't think so.
04:29She kept her glasses on, too.
04:31That was another thing.
04:32Her glasses?
04:32Yeah.
04:33So she could see waiting glasses?
04:34Yeah.
04:34She had to see where the pole was and the edge of the stage.
04:38So that was the first, like, oh, she's...
04:40They brought her in off the streets?
04:41And it wasn't, like...
04:42No, I think she worked there.
04:44Well, I do think most of them were.
04:45I mean, like, right that day, like, hey, lady...
04:48We need a stripper!
04:50Don't worry about your hair.
04:51Or your glasses.
04:53Usually, they would be better, the ones that just...
04:56Show up.
04:56I'm sure.
04:58The thing is, like, a lot of times, you might picture, oh, like, she put glasses on to
05:03be, like, a librarian, and it was part of the act.
05:05No.
05:06This was, like, necessary for her to see.
05:08You could tell it was never real.
05:10Like, thick.
05:11Thick?
05:11Well, you know, like, at least you could tell.
05:14Prescription.
05:14Like, Coke bottle thick.
05:15Oh, my God.
05:16She was blind.
05:16This was bad.
05:17She was blind.
05:18Well, that's why her butt was so hairy.
05:20She's legally blind.
05:21You can't see all that hair back there.
05:21You can feel it.
05:23You know?
05:23I can't see it.
05:24My goodness.
05:25You could feel it.
05:27I feel like this butthole competition sounds like a good time.
05:30I think so.
05:31It's not the worst time ever.
05:32Oh, man.
05:32It's not the worst time ever.
05:34Head over there.
05:35Yeah.
05:36Head over to the prettiest butthole.
05:38Get to be a judge.
05:39Oh, you could be a celebrity judge.
05:41Saturday, May 20th.
05:42I've been to that club.
05:44It's interesting.
05:44I've been to that club.
05:45Oh, well, yeah.
05:47Well.
05:48Hey, listen, they're probably...
05:49What is it?
05:49If you offered to be a celebrity judge, you'd probably get the VIP treatment.
05:53I bet.
05:53Front row.
05:56No, front row's always taken.
05:57Oh, man.
05:59I'm just like, I'm looking at the poster.
06:01I'm like, eh.
06:02Good night out.
06:04I don't have plans on you, Tony.
06:07That's a fun flyer.
06:08There's a big risk that that strip club's going to be kind of stinky that night.
06:11Oh, man.
06:12I just noticed.
06:14I guess I just noticed what the art was.
06:15You've got to wash it if you're going to be in a car show.
06:17You would think so.
06:19Take your car to the car wash before you go to the car show.
06:20You get it all detailed, right?
06:21You get it all detailed.
06:22Oh, I bet it's the finest shape that most of them will be in.
06:25I'm just joking.
06:26I won't go.
06:27No, but it doesn't sound like the worst time.
06:30No, you're right.
06:30It doesn't.
06:31It's just crazy that this is where we are now in the world.
06:34The prettiest B-hole.
06:35Yeah.
06:35Yeah.
06:36I never thought we'd see it.
06:36We should send a bus of guys down there.
06:40Oh, you're right.
06:40We should.
06:41I'll take them.
06:43We'll drive.
06:44We'll drive the bus.
06:45Yeah.
06:47Get aboard the B-hole bus.
06:49Andy Green's B-hole bus.
06:51Andy Green's B-hole bus.
06:53I like it.
06:55Yep.
06:56Yep.
06:57Come on, guys.
06:58I'd love to see the video and pictures from that night.
07:00It's a good way to spend a Saturday.
07:03Honestly, it's not bad.
07:05No?
07:06Absolutely correct.
07:07I just think it sounds like quite a fun time.
07:11Yeah.