Gogglebox - Season 25 Episode 10 -
Episode 10
Episode 10
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00:01It's going to go everywhere!
00:03Be careful!
00:04What is this?
00:09No, Amira, don't do that!
00:11I'm so tired!
00:13I just want to eat!
00:18Why does that take so much effort?
00:23Oh, that's me! YOLO!
00:26You always get one, don't you?
00:27What's going on here?
00:28That's my weekend ruined! I've got Lion King tickets!
00:31Right, I'm not watching anymore!
00:33Who shot him?
00:34Him!
00:35Yoo-hoo!
00:36Yes!
00:37Yes, yes!
00:38Oh, no!
00:39I like it already!
00:40Is that a bomb? What is it?
00:41Boom!
00:42Oh, won it!
00:43Oh, no!
00:44Oh, it's bleeding!
00:46Oh, I'm getting all gogsy!
00:48Well, what exciting times we live in!
00:50In the week the government stopped us bringing cheese and meat back from our holidays,
00:55we enjoyed lots of great telly!
00:58Pianists were popping up in public again on Channel 4!
01:02I love this idea of the lady who goes and sneaks onto the piano.
01:07Yeah.
01:08And that's how she teaches herself to play by ear.
01:10How would you play the piano? By ear, yeah?
01:12No, she listens.
01:19No, what he said, she plays by ear.
01:24I'm telling you!
01:26It was every parent's worst nightmare on Disney Plus.
01:34What time did she say she'd drop her off?
01:36Uh, 12.
01:37Fred, it's 2.30.
01:39Is it?
01:40Yeah.
01:41Dad, have you ever, like, lost us or anything?
01:43Have we?
01:44A lot.
01:47Like, I'm amazed that you had five kids and you didn't lose any of us.
01:51Like, I would have thought you lost at least one of us.
01:54Who says five?
01:55I might...
01:57And ITV was churning out more of this.
02:05Me and Paige were talking about this the other day.
02:07Yeah.
02:08Where's all the omnibuses gone?
02:09Where's the omnibus?
02:10I'll tell you where it's gone.
02:12In the grave.
02:13Catch-up TV's killed the omnibus.
02:15What a shame.
02:16Disgusting.
02:17Mum used to do her own into the omnibus.
02:19I know.
02:20And with Carly Minoghan as well.
02:22I've got the visuals.
02:23But I like to have my...
02:24I like to have my...
02:25I like to have my time fun as well.
02:34Incafilly...
02:35Oh, I didn't think much of that food this week, did you?
02:37No.
02:38I didn't like it.
02:39I ordered no peas.
02:40I had half a plate full of peas.
02:43They were like bullets.
02:44I know.
02:45Dave and his wife, Shirley.
02:48And then the pie won us.
02:50Yeah.
02:51Steak and mushroom pie.
02:53It was...
02:54Did you find a mushroom?
02:55I never had a mushroom.
02:57I think I...
02:58I never found any gravy.
03:00It was dry as tits.
03:03On Friday night, it was comings and goings in the car park that had all the Corrie fans excited on ITV.
03:11Let's see what's happening in Carnation Street.
03:13Carnation?
03:14You call it Carnation Street?
03:15No, I don't.
03:16I thought it was called Coronation Street.
03:18I didn't say Carnation Street.
03:20Coronation...
03:21Oh, I see it's your Northern Irish accent.
03:23That's a hate crime now.
03:24You've still got one nutty after all these years.
03:28Why wouldn't I?
03:29Heeeeee!
03:30Heeeeee!
03:31Heeeeee!
03:32Heeeeee!
03:33Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!
03:35Kevin has got testicular cancer.
03:42His wife, Abby, has got PTSD.
03:44Kev's been lashing out about his cancer,
03:47pushing everybody away, thumping Tyrone,
03:50being horrible to Abby, pushing her away
03:52because he's too stressed and scared about his cancer.
03:55He's just started chemo.
03:57What do you say we're going to be slow for?
04:00Cos you said you were bored being cooped up.
04:02I thought you'd like it.
04:05Oh, yeah. I'll be a laugher, innit?
04:07You can understand that, though, can't you, to be fair?
04:10Sometimes it's good not to mope.
04:12Yeah, but if he's having treatment and he's not feeling the best,
04:14you don't always want to go out.
04:16Yeah, but you've got to sometimes make the effort, Teresa.
04:18I keep telling you that, make the effort.
04:20OK.
04:22See you later.
04:24OK. Bye, then.
04:26Now the garage was something to do in so good.
04:2852, playing focus.
04:33Bang!
04:33Oh!
04:35You could see that coming, couldn't you?
04:36Oh, Abby!
04:38What are you playing at?
04:39What am I playing at? What are you playing at?
04:40Oh, he's dishing.
04:41And you're charging into people's space!
04:43Oh, it was him.
04:44Oh, your space!
04:46Shut up!
04:47Wow, very nice. Very nice.
04:48Shut up.
04:49That's how you saw my argument.
04:51You charged into me.
04:52You were paying.
04:53And one more smart comment and I'm going to knock your teeth out.
04:55Abby!
04:56Honestly, Abby!
04:58What happened, love?
04:59Did you break your nail?
05:00Oh!
05:01That's a good one.
05:02I must remember that, Natty.
05:04Next, he's going to say, have you got period pain?
05:06Little pinnick.
05:07Do you want to know what's happened?
05:08What's been happening?
05:09Honestly, no.
05:10Yeah.
05:10He doesn't need to know, does he, really?
05:12I was on the phone to my husband.
05:14He's got cancer.
05:15And I am trying to be nice to him, but it is hard,
05:17because he's angry a lot, you see.
05:19I think he's pushing me away.
05:20I bet he wish he never asked.
05:22Well, he can't trump that.
05:23He feels like shit now.
05:24Yeah.
05:24Do you want me to show him at the same time?
05:28And with Sheila's Wales.
05:30Sorry.
05:31No, no, really, I'm sorry.
05:32It's a girl.
05:33Oh, my God.
05:35Assault!
05:36She's just clopped in one.
05:37You all right?
05:38Does he look all right?
05:39He's just had a left-right good night.
05:40No, he's fine.
05:41I've always had him.
05:42I just have to look at my nose and it starts bleeding.
05:45I know, I'd get that checked out.
05:46It'll be low iron, wasn't it?
05:47Oh, they're chatting each other up now.
05:49They are, aren't they?
05:50Oh, what's all this about?
05:52There's some weird energy between these two right now.
05:56I'll pack over there and you can have this one.
05:59Oh, thank you very much.
06:00Very kind of you.
06:01Get a boom.
06:04Did you see the long lingering look?
06:07Mm-hmm.
06:08Yes.
06:09Bit tasty.
06:13Oh, his day's gone from bad to worse.
06:16Oh, but it's going to get really sexy because she's going to lift the bonnet and fix it.
06:19Hop the hood.
06:20Oh, she's getting cocky now.
06:21I'm a mechanic.
06:24Ah!
06:25Oh, I'm here!
06:27This is what a wild pad story is.
06:30She's going to fix it.
06:31And then he's going to be like, oh, she's attractive.
06:34Yeah, she does have to fix cars.
06:37As someone who knows her onions, I would say it's looking awful.
06:40It's a shame.
06:42I'm enjoying this now.
06:44I think she's flirting, Charles.
06:47Well, he's a better prospect than Kev.
06:49Kev.
06:50Don't suppose you fancy getting a drink after?
06:53Ooh!
06:53Ooh!
06:54No, Abby, don't do it!
06:56No, no, no, no, no, no.
06:57Please?
06:59You mean you're funny, you're gorgeous, and you can mend cars?
07:02I'm actually considering proposing marriage.
07:05Look, did you see that shimmy at the shoulders?
07:07Yeah, but she's fluttering her eyelashes as well.
07:08Yeah, so she shoved her breasts at him then, near enough.
07:13Ooh, Abby.
07:14Next thing, she'll be undoing that toggle on her anorak.
07:16I'm getting really excited by this.
07:19Two strangers, a couple of hours in a nice hotel.
07:22Oh!
07:25After that, I'd be like, take me anywhere.
07:28I'll come to the hotel.
07:30Come on, that was smooth, the way he did that.
07:32I think she should say,
07:34what makes you think I'd be interested in barnyard sex
07:37at such short notice?
07:41Before they never see each other again.
07:43He's touching her.
07:44He's touching her.
07:46And Abby, by the look on her face, is thinking,
07:48should I risk it for a biscuit?
07:52See you in the bistro, question mark.
07:56Oh, Kevin's going out, look.
07:57What's she going to do?
07:58Cancel the bistro?
07:59No, obviously, no.
08:01Obviously.
08:02She's going to get her beef bourguignon somewhere else, too.
08:05A bit later, and Kevin had made it to the bistro
08:08for a nice family meal.
08:11Excuse me, is this seat taken?
08:16Oh, no!
08:18You could have made this up, so Debbie knows the guy.
08:21Hey, what are you doing here?
08:23Wait, hang on, they both know him.
08:25She's going to have a fucking fanny flip when she sees him.
08:29Abby, meet Carl, my brother.
08:31No!
08:32As if that's Kevin's brother!
08:34It's like the movie Twins.
08:36Oh, have you got, like, separate, like, mum's hand ads?
08:40Nice to meet you, Abby.
08:44Oh!
08:45He did the thumb thing.
08:47Yeah.
08:47That stroke!
08:50Did you see that stroke come on in?
08:53Oh, my God.
08:54He would have said, he would have said...
08:56Hey, you're bad looking, though.
08:59Kevin's brother, if I were Abby, I'd have a go.
09:05Joking.
09:05This is why I don't park in the busy spots in a car park.
09:09No, you always park miles away, don't you?
09:11Yeah.
09:11Whereas Paige, you know, if she could park in the front of the shop, she would.
09:15I'm like that.
09:16Taxi rank, hazards on.
09:19Fucking be on me.
09:23In Derby.
09:24So, you know we're going to be uncles once more, innit?
09:27Yeah, not long now.
09:28New baby on the way.
09:30But I had a dream where Osh told me the name.
09:33The Siddiquis.
09:34And the name was, get this, Tumar.
09:39Tumar?
09:40Tumar.
09:41As in?
09:41As in Umar.
09:42Umar and two.
09:44With a T.
09:45Yeah, and then Umar.
09:46And in this dream, I was so happy that she called the baby that,
09:48even though it's the ugliest name and the most nonsense name in the world.
09:52Tumar.
09:53Yeah.
09:53Tumar.
09:54Yeah.
09:54And I only remember this dream, and I was thinking,
09:57why did you have this dream?
09:59And why did the dream version of you think that Tumar was an acceptable name?
10:04On Sunday night, a bunch of famous faces were getting a taste of reality on ITV1.
10:14This is voyeurism at its best.
10:18It is.
10:19And Mickey Rourke's in it.
10:21Oh, brilliant.
10:22He's come down in the world, but anyway.
10:24Celebrity Big Brother, have you been watching it?
10:30No.
10:30I've heard it's a bit, it's a bit, er, me too.
10:32Oh, there's loads of drama in it, Jen.
10:34Is there?
10:35Yeah, but there's only one person who's making the drama.
10:38Mickey.
10:39On day six, we saw the housemates all dressed up for the shopping task.
10:44I have, erm, instructions for ourselves.
10:47We're not allowed in the bedroom, no-one's allowed to touch the crisps or the sweets, okay?
10:51Oh, my goodness, he looks like Colonel Gaddafi, not he?
10:54He does.
10:54Mickey.
10:56You've got to come in me, mate.
10:57Mickey's been summoned.
10:58What?
10:59You've got to come in me.
11:01Come in you?
11:03Whoa.
11:03Come in you, did he say?
11:05He didn't say come in you.
11:07I think he did.
11:08That's disgusting, you can't speak to somebody like that.
11:11You can't make them jokes.
11:13He's stuck in some time zone, man.
11:16That's some real caveman behaviour, isn't it?
11:17Yeah.
11:18He's not got the memo, he's not up to date.
11:20Right.
11:20It's 2025.
11:22Captain on shit!
11:23Ahoy!
11:24Ahoy, Captain.
11:25I've seen a spoiler for this.
11:27This is the big kick-off, Pedro.
11:29Kick-off?
11:30Oh, yeah.
11:31There is a rat amongst us, Captain.
11:34Oh, a rat.
11:35Yeah, a rat-fink.
11:36A rat-fink.
11:37Stand still, rat.
11:38What's Chris looking at here?
11:39I don't know.
11:40What's wrong with Chris?
11:41A rat.
11:43He's staring at Mickey.
11:44Staring at Mickey.
11:45Was that serious or was that in character?
11:49Mickey!
11:49Oh, here we go.
11:50Hang on, hang on, hang on.
11:52Ahoy!
11:52You look at me.
11:54Oh, oh, oh.
11:55Confrontation.
11:56Is this real?
11:57Are they joking?
11:58Ahoy!
12:00Don't eye-ball me.
12:01Is he getting serious, isn't he?
12:03Yeah.
12:03Look, look, look, look!
12:04He wants it with Chris, mate!
12:06This is great.
12:07Don't...
12:08Don't...
12:08Fuck your mind-ball me.
12:09It's a f***ing joke.
12:11What did he just call him?
12:12Don't you call...
12:13Ah, Chris, I'll see you next Tuesday.
12:16Mickey was...
12:17What are you going to do, you f***ing joke?
12:20Oh, he said it again!
12:21Oh, that's a second scene.
12:24This is Big Brother.
12:26Mickey, come to the diary room immediately.
12:28Oh, he's getting cold to Big Brother.
12:31Mickey's for the plank here, isn't he?
12:33Do you know what?
12:34This works in two ways.
12:36It's an absolute disaster, but it's highly entertaining.
12:40Yeah.
12:40It's not okay.
12:41No, it's not.
12:42Mickey, what just happened there?
12:44Nothing really happened.
12:45We were just, you know, bantering back and forth.
12:48Just bance, James.
12:49Just bance.
12:50Bance for him?
12:51What bit of that were bantering?
12:52You'd square it all to him.
12:54You know, you had Dally Baird and Trisha Goddard holding you back.
12:57Big Brother wants you to be aware that you cannot use threatening behaviour
13:01or language in the Big Brother house.
13:03He's already got a warning, Jenny.
13:05That's two strikes now.
13:06Yeah.
13:07I thought you were in character for a minute.
13:09No.
13:10All hugs now.
13:12Look at that.
13:12He's trying to make amends on his Mickey.
13:14Look.
13:15I'm not convinced, Tracer.
13:17I'm not convinced that he's trying to make amends.
13:19It's only because he's been pulled up on it.
13:22Oh, God.
13:23Look at the girls.
13:25They're still sort of comfortable.
13:26Everybody's just thinking, get him out of the house.
13:29Yeah.
13:29All the sexual innuendos about you're going to come in me and that.
13:33It just makes me feel happy.
13:34Yeah, that's it.
13:35Ella's upset.
13:36Isn't she, bless her?
13:37What are you crying for?
13:38Because he said that horrible comment to her earlier.
13:40Oh, right.
13:41And it's not funny.
13:43Like, when is it...
13:44In what world is any of that stuff funny?
13:47Well, it's messed up the pirate experience.
13:49This is the saddest pirate experience I've ever seen.
13:53Mickey has been called to the diary room.
13:56Again?
13:56What for?
13:57Earlier today, in a disagreement with Chris,
14:00your language and behaviour was threatening and aggressive.
14:04It was.
14:04The temper's the tip of the iceberg.
14:06Yeah.
14:06It's the fact that you're making inappropriate comments
14:09around young females and then sharing a room with them.
14:12In addition, you have used inappropriate sexual language to Ella.
14:17Yeah.
14:18You did.
14:18Are they going to kick him out?
14:20I think they are.
14:21I did wrong.
14:22I apologise.
14:24I'm sorry.
14:24Oh, how many times can you say sorry, though?
14:27But are you doing...
14:28Do we believe him?
14:29No.
14:29Is he going to change?
14:31No.
14:32Big Brother has no option but to ask you to leave the Big Brother house.
14:36Wow!
14:39I can't believe that.
14:40I can't believe Big Brother's done that.
14:42Well, that's good, isn't it?
14:43It's cost them nearly half a million for that twat.
14:45He's only been in five days.
14:47It leads...
14:56So, yours and Toby's hypothetical children, what would they be named?
15:00Well, we're not having any hypothetical children,
15:02but we have discussed hypothetical married names.
15:05Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
15:07So, the other day, I was in the car with Nat, and we were talking about you two getting engaged.
15:14I says to Nat, Izzy thinks that Toby's going to propose to her.
15:17And I went, do you think that you'll propose to me?
15:21And he went, no, we're still in the getting to know each other phase.
15:24On Friday, we were back on our travels with boy band royalty on ITV1.
15:33Oh, I like Gary Barlow, Nottie. Is he in Australia?
15:37Yes.
15:37You can buy Gary's wine in Tesco.
15:40I don't want Gary's wine.
15:41I don't, but I'm just saying you can if you want to buy it in Tesco.
15:47Gary Barlow's food and wine tour.
15:51Gary Barlow's jammy get tour.
15:54Exactly, that's what this should be called.
15:57The first leg of my food and wine tour, I've come to Sydney.
16:01OK.
16:01I've booked a table for two for me and my musical maestro, Tim Minchin.
16:06Tim Minchin, he's the comedian that does piano.
16:10Lovely to see you.
16:11Oh, that's nice.
16:12That's really nice.
16:13Isn't that interesting?
16:13That's not what I expected.
16:14Sweet.
16:15It's delicious, isn't it?
16:16Well, I like a sweet wine.
16:18Oh, let me have a bit more.
16:19Oh, delicious.
16:20Shut up, Gary.
16:22Our starter today is Sydney Rock Oysters.
16:25Oh, now then, now you're talking.
16:28Oh, have you seen this, Dad, they're eating oysters?
16:30Dirty bastards.
16:32I was never really an oyster guy, but I've grown into them.
16:35Anyone who pretends to like oysters is pretending,
16:38because they taste like the inside of the sea.
16:41I like oysters.
16:43Pretend.
16:43Oh, that is so good.
16:46Is it?
16:46I've swallowed some things in my time, but not an oyster.
16:49Whoa!
16:50No, I don't mean like that.
16:51This recipe comes from renowned indigenous Australian chef, Mark Olive.
16:56It's a fucking oyster.
16:58What's the recipe?
16:59One oyster.
17:00It's such a pleasure, Mark.
17:01Hey, Gary.
17:02Look, welcome.
17:03That's a look.
17:04Yeah.
17:04Is he a band member?
17:05No, it's the chef.
17:09Oh, that was a band member.
17:11How are you enjoying your meal, so far?
17:13We, well, you said it, and I think I'd second it.
17:16These are definitely the best oysters I've ever had.
17:19Oh.
17:20Yeah.
17:21You want me to free me?
17:23You know, and how much are they going to cost?
17:24Whenever I'm travelling, I try and do what the locals do.
17:29Oh.
17:30And go where they go.
17:31Where's he going?
17:33Bondi Beach.
17:34Oh, Ronnie, I'd love to swim there.
17:37I've brought Mark and Howard with me.
17:39They can look after my stuff while I go in the sea.
17:42It's an uber cool influencer's paradise, so I need to get changed.
17:46Budgie Smugglers, that shop's called.
17:49Police tell me we're not going to see Gary Barlow's budgie getting smuggled.
17:53Oh, I wouldn't mind that.
17:55I want to try these on.
17:57Barlow!
17:57Oh, my God!
17:59And he's got Ken on the front.
18:04Viewers of a nervous disposition are advised to look away now.
18:11Hey!
18:13Come on, Gary.
18:14Show us your bits.
18:17Has anyone seen me shoes?
18:19I mean, I want to look away, but I can't look away.
18:21I will reveal when we get to the pool.
18:26Oh, no!
18:27No!
18:28You've revealed enough there, Gary.
18:30Talk about a classic down-under view.
18:34Oh.
18:35Oh.
18:36That's the Barlow bottom you got there, Jane.
18:38Well, you used to wear them, didn't you?
18:40You're having a laugh.
18:41I didn't wear anything like that.
18:43Carap used to wear short ones.
18:45No, not like that.
18:46It was before you did.
18:49Before what?
18:50Before the shorts.
18:52Yeah, I've seen you.
18:55Before your operation.
18:59In Bristol...
19:01If you had to say, what breed of dog would you be?
19:05I reckon I'd probably be a French bulldog.
19:08Yeah, definitely.
19:09Yeah.
19:11Brothers Tremaine, Twain and Tristan.
19:14I don't know.
19:15Something relaxed but intelligent.
19:18What are those police dogs?
19:22Gordon Retriever.
19:23Jim and Shepard.
19:24You're a Gordon Receiver, man.
19:25Receiver.
19:26Receiver?
19:26Yeah, whatever they said.
19:27Gordon Receiver.
19:28What the fuck, bro?
19:29Get off of me, bro.
19:31Don't touch you.
19:31Gordon Receiver.
19:33Retriever, why are they a Gordon Retriever?
19:34Bro, I said Gordon Receiver, bro.
19:36What the fuck, bro?
19:38On Sunday night, a new set of talented folk were tickling the ivories at train stations on Channel 4.
19:45Oh, it's back.
19:46It's the piano.
19:47I love it.
19:49My worst nightmare, this.
19:50Imagine being stuck in a train station and somebody starts rattling around the piano.
19:53You have so many nightmares.
19:55You know what would be great if you could stop that crunching?
19:58Do you know what would be great if you could take your foot off my thigh?
20:03Can you imagine going to piano in here?
20:05It'd probably go through the fucking floor.
20:07Won't go in the room, never mind.
20:09Get him on in here.
20:11You'd have to get a toy piano and sit with it on your knee.
20:14Might go in the hallway.
20:15Next to arrive at our piano is Maria.
20:20Sorry, lovely.
20:21Hi, Maria.
20:21Can someone let Maria through?
20:23I'm a dinner lady and all the girls got together and they gave me this lovely pinbird.
20:27It's good luck for today.
20:28Yeah.
20:29Oh, she's a dinner lady.
20:30Oh, she's a dinner lady.
20:31Who doesn't love a dinner lady?
20:33Oh, everyone loves dinner ladies.
20:34So tell me again, say you're a dinner lady, where?
20:36At a school, Claudia.
20:38At a maths and music academy.
20:40Oh, she's at a music academy.
20:42Oh, that's why.
20:44Do you get free lessons?
20:45It's about six or seven pianos down the bottom where the theatre is.
20:48I used to, you know, sneak off at maths.
20:51You go off and have a little tinkle of the aviaries, as you see.
20:54I never went piano lessons because I always thought they were too expensive.
20:58Oh, fuck it.
20:59She loves cats.
21:00There's nothing wrong with loving cats, Daniela.
21:01Don't fuck with cat people.
21:04I live with my mum.
21:05I've lived with her all my life.
21:06I'm like a carer as well, so, yeah.
21:10I think Maria's got a really kind heart and soul.
21:14Would you like that, Mum?
21:15What?
21:16If we lived together all your life?
21:18No.
21:19God.
21:19No?
21:20I couldn't be more proud of my daughter than anybody.
21:25I really couldn't.
21:26Oh.
21:27Oh.
21:28Don't start crying, Jenny.
21:29It's already just started, please.
21:31I know.
21:31I used to sit like that with my mum and all the around.
21:34Well, my mum, she said to me, what piece are you doing?
21:37Is it the piece I like?
21:38I said, yeah, Mum, it's 84.
21:40That's the one you like.
21:41Oh, bless her.
21:42Come on, Maria.
21:44We want you to be brilliant.
21:45She couldn't travel today.
21:47She would have loved to have come.
21:48It would have been brilliant.
21:50Oh, she couldn't travel, bless her.
21:52We're there with you, Maria.
21:53This is music for my ears.
22:08It's only just started.
22:09I know, but I like the way she's playing.
22:15Oh, well, thing music made, didn't it?
22:17Yeah.
22:17You think she's visualising everything, her life, with mum and all that?
22:22Yeah.
22:23I think it's personal to her, isn't it?
22:25Yes.
22:28She has that power when she plays, given that she's playing very simply.
22:32That doesn't look simple to me.
22:33They're saying she's playing simply.
22:35But how do you know where the notes go?
22:37Some people are gifted, aren't they?
22:38She doesn't even read the music, look.
22:40I know.
22:40She is playing from her soul.
22:44Her mum means the world to her, doesn't she?
22:46Yeah.
22:46So this is why she's so focused, because this is the song for her mum.
22:49Yeah.
22:55I'm telling you now, man, if I was there ordering a pasty from Greg's, I'd stop.
23:00I'd come and listen.
23:08Oh, stop with these pictures.
23:10It's going to tick me.
23:12Slideshow of the family photos.
23:14It's going to get you.
23:14Yeah. Why am I rolling up when she's playing piano here?
23:25Oh, it's so sad that her mum couldn't be there.
23:28Mum's at home playing Candy Crush.
23:34Oh, I'll freak off.
23:36Just making myself cry.
23:37Oh, should we think of a mum?
23:39Oh, God.
23:40Yes.
23:48Oh, I'm sorry it's ended.
23:50This one's for you, ma'am.
23:52Oh, my God.
23:52I'm fucking, that mum's getting as bad as you.
23:54See?
23:55I'm trying not to.
23:57Fucking hell.
23:58Oh, she's overwhelmed now.
24:06You can tell she's just not used to doing art like that.
24:09I think she's in disbelief of what she's just done.
24:12I was expecting the special announcement on Platform 17 to be her mother rolling off the train.
24:23LAUGHTER
24:24You missed the performance.
24:33I thought it was a bit of a rolling off the train.
24:36Tom, don't start right.
24:49I said at Slimming World last week, my aim was to do 10,000 steps at least three days a week.
24:56The Malones.
24:57Last week, I did 40,309, and that was only starting on a Wednesday when I got my watch, yeah?
25:07So, I did well.
25:09But now, I'm getting really frustrated because it's not doing it on my phone.
25:14Your watch has started taking steps off, you know?
25:17Like you're doing a moonwalk with your watch, isn't it?
25:18Don't.
25:18It's winding me up.
25:19Look, steps up.
25:20I go on it, and it says 220 steps.
25:24220 steps!
25:26How rude!
25:27Have you been walking backwards?
25:28Because it starts knocking the steps back off you.
25:30No, it doesn't.
25:31Yes, it does.
25:32But then...
25:32Michael Jackson, at the end of Hoyt Danton, used to say he'd done no steps at all because
25:36he'd been moonwalking.
25:37On Saturday, there were more menu ideas tempting our taste buds on BBC One.
25:42That's a big bugger, isn't it?
25:44Mmm.
25:44Look at that!
25:45Do you know what I like about Saturday Kitchen?
25:48Nothing.
25:49Ooh, that's quite harsh.
25:50I think it's probably mainly watched by pensioners.
25:53We're about 20 years off watching daytime television.
25:56Stoners.
25:57Because why would anyone watch it?
25:59They'd be outside.
26:03Hi, welcome to the show.
26:04Who's he?
26:05I've seen him before.
26:07Looks harmless.
26:08Okay.
26:09Now, if, like me, you're not keen on a super sweet cocktail...
26:12No, I am keen on super sweet.
26:14That is my go-to cocktail, super sweet.
26:17You see, really, you only sip cocktails, don't you?
26:20I like to glug.
26:21I'm a glugger.
26:23Fear not, Carmen O'Neil here has the whole host of options that'll satisfy savoury cravings.
26:28A savoury cocktail?
26:29No, that's wrong.
26:30She gonna make a Bloody Mary?
26:31I'd like to try a Bloody Mary.
26:33I've never tried one.
26:34The rank.
26:35Savoury cocktails?
26:36Mm-hmm.
26:36Sounds odd.
26:37Why?
26:38Well, I don't know.
26:39I don't think of drinks as savoury.
26:42Well, we're gonna change your mind, Matthew.
26:44She's doing that annoying clapping thing that you do.
26:46Her skin's too good to be a day drinker.
26:49Okay.
26:49I'm gonna change your mind.
26:51Quite forcefully, by the looks of it.
26:53Well, you will enjoy this.
26:54Strap in.
26:55Sorry.
26:56Uh-huh.
26:57Craig's giving me the, like, confidence to tell you.
26:59Look at the sheer volume of drink they've got in front of them.
27:02That's a night out.
27:03That is on a Saturday morning.
27:05Now, are you ready for a Bunny Mary?
27:07A Bunny Mary, Julie.
27:09What's a Bunny Mary?
27:10Now, what's inside this?
27:12Looks like bloody carrot cheese.
27:14I think it is.
27:15I think it is.
27:16I have done an olive oil fat-washed vodka.
27:19An olive oil fat-washed.
27:21And there's a drizzle of olive oil on there as well.
27:25Olive oil.
27:26Huh?
27:26Olive oil.
27:27Also, inside this, we've got some caper juice.
27:31Oh!
27:31Not the caper juice.
27:33I love capers and juice.
27:35This is so disgusting.
27:37Jeez, man.
27:38It is.
27:38It doesn't sound any of...
27:39Yeah.
27:40None of it sounds like something you want to drink.
27:42Mm.
27:42I pickled some carrots.
27:44Of course you did.
27:45And a pickled spicy bean as well.
27:48Oh, I don't want this in me cocktails, do you, really?
27:50You're liking vibrant colours, don't you?
27:52It's like some out-of-an-allotment, not a bar.
27:55So it's got a little bit of spice.
27:57Yeah.
27:57Oh, yeah, pickle.
27:57Matt's not impressed.
27:59Oh, look at his face.
28:00Oh, dear.
28:01All right, now, hot, honey, pickled, margarita.
28:04All the rage right now.
28:05Oh, here we go, Lee.
28:06Hot honey, summer.
28:08Everyone's raving about hot honey.
28:10It's always hot honey this, hot honey that.
28:12You can't move for hot honey, can you?
28:14Can you, heck?
28:15Dip into it.
28:15A little frickle.
28:16So that's a fried pickle.
28:19Fried pickles in a drink?
28:20You can have something fried in your drink.
28:22That, no.
28:23Wow.
28:24Does anyone else think that this lady only realised last minute she was coming on this show,
28:29raided what was left in her cupboards and brought it in?
28:32Who doesn't love that?
28:34Spicy margaritas.
28:35I make some of my best decisions.
28:38He looks like a piss down at a bar, wouldn't he?
28:41Are you meant to put your lips on that?
28:42Yes, 100%.
28:43Dip in, dip out.
28:44Right, get it down here.
28:45You see, I love a margarita.
28:47I'm a fan.
28:48Let's try.
28:49You don't want to go the whole rim.
28:51Oh, you don't want to go the whole rim, Craig.
28:54You just want a side of it.
28:55Easy.
28:56Easy on the rim.
28:57Oh, that's meant to be a sex joke.
29:0020 to 11.
29:02Do you remember rimming?
29:04What?
29:05That's not got my taste buds tingling on a Saturday morning.
29:08What if you had a little cocktail sausage on the side?
29:10A pork star martini and get a cocktail sausage on the side?
29:14Instead of a passion fruit.
29:16Yeah.
29:21In Blackpool.
29:23I've had a right embarrassing day today.
29:26Why?
29:26Well, you know, I only use really like one, two pairs of shoes maximum.
29:31Yeah.
29:31Pete and his little sister, Sophie.
29:34Well, they were getting a bit stinky, the ones that I had.
29:37Because I've just worn them to death.
29:39Anyway, I went round to a customer's house and I took them off.
29:42And the customer's going...
29:44Mmm.
29:44Can smell cheese.
29:48I would literally die.
29:53I was like, yeah, yeah, you know, it's just a tiff at the moment.
29:56The tiff's quite bad.
29:57I'm doing full well at my feet.
29:59Absolutely stink.
30:01So I've had to launch him.
30:02Get me some...
30:03I was hanging off because I was hoping that cheese prices were going to come down.
30:07On Monday night, it was a pop star in space that made the headlines on ITV.
30:13If I was in charge of the news, I would bring back children's news, like they used to have
30:19John Craven's news round.
30:21And I would watch the children's news rather than the adults, wouldn't you?
30:25Yes.
30:25No, you wouldn't because you like bad news.
30:27I don't like it, but part of my job as head of the family to keep an eye on world events.
30:32Finally this evening, Katy Perry clearly didn't think that any of her own songs had the gravity
30:37for a trip to space today.
30:39Oh, they've been up on that rocket, haven't they?
30:41Yeah, but most importantly, Pedro, it's been the girlies going up.
30:44She opted to sing What a Wonderful World.
30:47If it's a wonderful world, then why are you shipping off out of the space?
30:50Exactly.
30:51Out into space if it's so wonderful down here.
30:54The star-studded crew also included the TV presenter Gayle King.
30:58Oh.
30:58And Lauren Sanchez, whose fiancée, Jeff Bezos, just happens to own the whole operation.
31:04I wonder how she got on it then.
31:05I've seen the state of summer Jeff's vans flying around.
31:08You know, if the rocket's anything like that.
31:11Katy Perry said afterwards that the whole experience showed you never know how much love is inside
31:16of you.
31:17What?
31:17Why?
31:19Well, your guess is as good as mine.
31:21I love Bradbury, man.
31:23She must have looked up a handbook of clichés to say on public occasions.
31:27You guys, I have to tell you, look at the moon.
31:31Oh, this is it?
31:32She's been to space and she liked it.
31:35What's she holding?
31:36A daisy?
31:37She just wants to be reminded of what's down there.
31:40Her daughter, Daisy, is right down there.
31:44You're joking.
31:46Katy Perry kissing a daisy to represent her daughter and then the ground after touching down safely
31:52in Texas.
31:53She was only in space for 11 minutes.
31:55Minutes, nothing.
31:56This experience has shown me you never know how much love is inside of you.
32:02What's love got to do with space?
32:04Is she high?
32:05Like how much love you have to give and how loved you are until the day you launch?
32:14Oh, you silly, pretentious woman.
32:16Just come off and go, that was amazing.
32:19We don't need a profound speech.
32:21You're not Martin Luther King.
32:23Yeah.
32:23Well, what would you say if you went to space?
32:25What a cliche would you come out with?
32:28I'd come out in a very high-pitched voice and I'd say I'd like to teach the world to sing
32:32in perfect harmony.
32:34And then I'd produce a bottle of Coke, Mary.
32:36I'm not being funny, but that looks like a giant dildo.
32:43Shot into space in a giant knob rocket.
32:45This first time is actually the second woman-only space trip.
32:49The first was Valentina Tereshkova's solo flight in 1963.
32:55They were really brave, man.
32:56Look at them cosmonauts.
32:57They were like basically fired from a cannon into space.
33:00Didn't know if they were going to come back or anything.
33:01Who's going to remember her when you've got Katy Perry in the space?
33:04Exactly.
33:06Katy Perry hopes her journey inspires young girls to become astronauts.
33:11How could Katy Perry inspire young girls to become astronauts?
33:14I don't see anything inspiring about this, honestly.
33:17She also says she's 100% going to write a song about her experience.
33:22I went in a rocket and I liked it.
33:31I went in a rocket and I went in a rocket and I went in a rocket and I went in a rocket and
33:36you know, since we've been watching the piano.
33:38Oh, yeah, yeah.
33:39Oh, did you find it?
33:40Yeah.
33:40Can you play out on it?
33:41Yeah, I can.
33:42I can, yeah.
33:43Go on, then.
33:43Best friends Jenny and Lee.
33:46Wow.
34:06This is how I've been using it all morning.
34:13Yes!
34:13On Wednesday, Disney Plus thrilled us with a tense new series.
34:20This is a new drama, then.
34:21Stolen Girl.
34:22I love a drama, Ronnie.
34:24I just get a bit nervous starting dramas with another person.
34:27Because if you now go away and get ahead of me, it stresses me out.
34:32I will cheat on you with a drama.
34:34I know you, I know.
34:35I am very promiscuous with my dramas.
34:37You're promiscuous.
34:41The Stolen Girl.
34:42It doesn't sound hilarious, does it?
34:44I don't think it'll be full of laughs, this one.
34:46Do you remember when Auntie Jane thought that somebody had stolen our catering?
34:49She made a man open his booting garden centre car park.
34:52But she were actually just playing hide and seek at Wendy Houses.
34:55In the drama, we saw air hostess Elisa late for the school pick-up.
35:02Hi, I'm so sorry, Miss Thompson.
35:04My plane was late.
35:06There's nothing like being late to pick the kids up, is there?
35:08Oh, trust her, tell me about it every single day.
35:10Teacher's giving you the...
35:11I'm Rebecca.
35:12I'm Josie's mum.
35:13She's new this term.
35:14Oh, yeah, I know.
35:15Lucia hasn't stopped talking about her since they met.
35:17She's made a mum friend.
35:19Looks a posh school, that the kids wear hats.
35:21Hi, Mummy.
35:22Hi, darling.
35:23Now go over to Rosie's house to play.
35:24Oh, God, I hate when your kids put you on the spot like that.
35:27Oh, darling, not tonight, Lulu.
35:29I'd love to have her.
35:30She's only met her five minutes ago.
35:32I'd love to have her.
35:33No, no, no, no.
35:34Please, please.
35:35Okay, okay, okay, okay.
35:36Are you sure?
35:37Yeah, of course, we'll have a great time now.
35:38I won't be having that.
35:39Having kids is not for me, because this is overwhelming for me.
35:43It's very overwhelming.
35:45Yes!
35:46Hi, Rebecca.
35:48Mummy.
35:49Oh, hi, darling.
35:50Can I please stay for a sleepover?
35:52Stay for a sleepover?
35:53You didn't even take any clothes, no.
35:55Absolutely not.
35:58Hey.
35:58Hi.
35:59How are you coming?
36:00Hi, thanks so much.
36:01Oh, like, she's got a nice self, hasn't she?
36:04Um, yeah, she can stay over.
36:07Let me see.
36:10Sorry, do you mind not...
36:11Oh, don't take pictures.
36:14Oh, sorry.
36:15Sorry, I'm just not comfortable with people taking pictures of my daughter without my permission.
36:19Why?
36:19Why is she so weird about that?
36:21Rich people are weird about that kind of stuff.
36:23Take your child and leave.
36:25Something about this, Rebecca, I'm not feeling.
36:27Thank you so much.
36:28This is really sweet of you.
36:30You're very welcome.
36:31I'll see you tomorrow.
36:32You kind of think, this is lovely.
36:34Lovely house.
36:35Nice mum.
36:36Bit weird on the filming thing.
36:38But you've got her number.
36:39You know where she's at.
36:40What could go wrong, Jane?
36:45Hello?
36:46Hi, darling.
36:47Can I speak till you see her?
36:49Oh, she's not back yet.
36:50She's not back.
36:51No, that panic, me, no.
36:53Panic would set in.
36:54What time did she say she'd drop her off?
36:57Uh, 12?
36:58Fred, it's 2.30.
37:002.30?
37:002.30!
37:01No, where's my kid?
37:03Is it?
37:04Yeah.
37:05Fuck, shit.
37:06Oh, for fuck's sake, Fred.
37:082.30 hours late, you know, that's ringing alarm bells, isn't it?
37:11You know, half an hour late is ringing alarm bells.
37:14Yeah.
37:18Oh, God, please someone answer the door.
37:20Plot twist, the house is an Airbnb.
37:22Yeah.
37:22Nobody lives there.
37:23Hi, hi, we've just come to pick up who's here.
37:27Who's this?
37:28That's not Rebecca.
37:29Is that the cleaner?
37:30Don't know who that is.
37:31She's got a flipping mop in her end or something.
37:33Who's she?
37:34I'm here to clean.
37:36No one lives here.
37:37Oh, shit.
37:40It's a holiday, lad.
37:43Oh, my God.
37:45No one lives here, it's a holiday, lad.
37:48Oh, my God.
37:49You said that.
37:50How are you doing?
37:51A bit later, the police had some information
37:54about their daughter's disappearance.
37:57We're considering the possibility that Rebecca was hired for the job
38:00and Josephine wasn't her child.
38:03At least everything she told you may have been false.
38:05You'd be thinking, fuck, fuck, fuck.
38:08Well, who is the child?
38:09How can you hire a fake mother and a child?
38:14I'm going to need passwords for your phone,
38:16your email accounts, your social media accounts, too.
38:19There's something going on with him, that Fred.
38:21Oh, he's got something to hide.
38:22Look at his face.
38:23He's kind of quiet here, Fred, isn't he?
38:25I'd like to speak to Elisa alone for a minute, if I can.
38:28Why?
38:29What have you done, Fred?
38:30What have you done?
38:32Elisa, nothing happened.
38:35Oh, here we go.
38:37Nothing happened.
38:38Not really.
38:39Not really?
38:40That means something happened.
38:41There was a woman.
38:43Knew it, the bastard.
38:45Fucking hell, Fred.
38:46What did I tell you?
38:48The first message is from Sarah Banks on the 13th of January last year.
38:52Who's Sarah Banks?
38:53Sarah Banks?
38:54Who's she then?
38:56She must be the bit on the side.
38:58It might, yeah.
38:58At 6.03pm.
39:01Home alone?
39:02Fred replies, yep, he's working late.
39:04Kids at my parents.
39:05Sarah replies, wanna FaceTime?
39:07Oh, fucking hell, Fred.
39:10Wanna FaceTime?
39:11A 17-minute FaceTime call then follows, Fred, what happened during that call?
39:16What happened on a bloody 17-minute FaceTime call?
39:19Well, anything could have happened on a 17-minute FaceTime call.
39:22The next morning, a message from Fred, last night was amazing, can't believe how sexy you
39:27are.
39:28Oh!
39:30Actually, if I got that message, I wouldn't mind someone reading it out.
39:33Sarah replies, do me a favour, every time you fuck her, think of me.
39:38Oh!
39:38Oh, my God!
39:41I tell you what, she moves quick, that girl.
39:43She does, she doesn't hang around, does she?
39:45Sarah sends several messages asking to meet up.
39:49These are all unanswered by Fred.
39:51Oh, so she's trying to meet him face to face.
39:53He's like, oh, that's too far.
39:55And these are met with escalating anger from Sarah.
39:59I'm not a body language expert here, but I think she's pretty fucked off.
40:02I fucking had enough of you.
40:04Go back to your perfect family and enjoy it while you can.
40:07That sounds like a threat.
40:10Enjoy it while you can.
40:12I bet she's Rebecca, don't you?
40:14So Rebecca's a fucking psycho.
40:20Oh, what's that?
40:22Oh, don't tell me she's in the boat of the car.
40:29Oh, shit, where are they taking her?
40:34Who are you?
40:35Who are you?
40:35Who are you?
40:36She doesn't know who she is.
40:37Oh, she doesn't know who she is.
40:39She'd know it was Rebecca.
40:40I'm asking you now, one mother to another, please don't hurt our daughter.
40:45Oh, we're on breaking news.
40:46Please don't hurt our daughter.
40:49Oh, is that?
40:50That's Rebecca.
40:51That's her!
40:52I knew that that blonde hair was a wig.
40:56I nearly said to you, that is a bloody wig.
40:59There's no way that's her own hair.
41:02I need to know why.
41:04I need all the whys answering.
41:06I have so many whys.
41:07This is a binge.
41:08This is a full-on binge.
41:10Is Rebecca Sarah...
41:12Sits the snacks in the gob.
41:14Remote in my hand.
41:15No toilet break.
41:17Binge.
41:18No, Danielle, asking questions all the way.
41:20I'm not watching it with you.
41:24In Manchester...
41:26Do you want some scone?
41:27Yeah, I'll have a scone.
41:28Some jam.
41:29Ooh.
41:29Ooh.
41:30Got some cream.
41:31Alison, her husband, George, and her daughter, Helena.
41:36I'm going to cream me pants.
41:39Doesn't sound right, does it?
41:41As it came out, that didn't sound right.
41:47On Monday night, we were staring into space again on BBC4.
41:52I do quite enjoy science stuff.
41:56I do as well.
41:56I'm going to get my geek on.
41:57Like, stars don't look like stars.
41:59I think they just look like dots.
42:02Well, it's not in a fucking star shape, is it?
42:04But I bet it is if you get a telescope.
42:07No, it's not.
42:08Is it actually not?
42:09The biggest story to hit the news since we've been off air
42:12was about an asteroid called 2024 YR4.
42:16I remember this.
42:17Do you not remember?
42:17We watched it on the news.
42:19Did this want this on the news?
42:20I said it was going to all be dead.
42:21An asteroid that had the potential of hitting Earth in 2032.
42:25Hang on, 2032, Mary?
42:27Yeah?
42:28Will I still be alive?
42:29Seven years.
42:29Oh, I might still be alive.
42:31What about you?
42:32Might, but probably not if the stress continues.
42:34It depends on how much stress I give you.
42:37But what lies behind the headlines?
42:40And are we prepared for an asteroid strike?
42:42We're not prepared for an asteroid strike.
42:44We're not prepared for a binman strike.
42:46Have you seen Birmingham lately?
42:47We didn't know what to do the first time you scaremongered us.
42:53Mungered?
42:54Mungered us.
42:55Scaremongered.
42:56Scaremongered us.
43:00He's on a sleep deficit.
43:02Oh, yeah.
43:03He's not gone to bed for three nights.
43:04Why?
43:05What are you gawping at?
43:06Galaxies.
43:08Galaxies?
43:08Yep.
43:08When YR4 was discovered, it was no more than a dot moving amongst the background stars.
43:13Why has he got a football thing on him?
43:15I don't know.
43:15So what was special about this one?
43:19To explain, I've come to a football pitch, obviously.
43:23It's just, do you know what?
43:24Football.
43:26Asteroids.
43:27I couldn't be more bored if I tried.
43:29Football and asteroids in my brain is like, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh.
43:33Tracking the asteroid after it was first spotted is like freezing the ball just after Gabe kicks it.
43:38It might go in the goal.
43:40They think the ball is going to represent the path of the asteroid.
43:45Oh, I see.
43:45Okay, so they're just gauging where the ball's going to go, basically.
43:48But Gabe's definitely going to miss this.
43:50Additional data narrows the ellipse, removing much of the area outside the goal.
43:56The goal now takes up more of the remaining ellipse, and so the odds of a hit go up.
44:00Right, did you get that?
44:01Yeah, I got it.
44:02This is basic stuff.
44:04Right, so that increases the probability.
44:06Correct.
44:07Ooh.
44:08The third freeze frame shows the ellipsis reduced down again.
44:11Ice gone white.
44:12That's a miss, Mary.
44:14We're now sure the ball will miss the goal.
44:16Pad luck, Gabe.
44:17They've done the dirty on Gabe here.
44:19No, they haven't, because if Gabe scores, it'll cause mass panic, because the goal represents the Earth.
44:25And it was observations from one of the most advanced telescopes on Earth that told us that this asteroid would not score.
44:32Because initially, they couldn't work out the trajectory, could they?
44:36But as it advanced, they could see it deviating away from the Earth's path.
44:42Any ways there?
44:44No.
44:44No.
44:44So what can we do if we know an asteroid strike is imminent?
44:48It would be handy to know.
44:49Panic?
44:50Maggie's taking a tea break to explain.
44:52Oh, here we go.
44:53What can we do?
44:53Oh, good.
44:54What metaphor are we going to use now?
44:56I'm going to use this as the asteroid, and this as planet Earth.
45:00A fucking bomb.
45:01A cake and a saucer.
45:03I like the crops.
45:04Crops that they're using.
45:07Props.
45:09Props.
45:09I like the props.
45:10Now, the challenge is, the asteroid is heading straight towards the Earth.
45:14So what can we do to deflect it?
45:15Eat it.
45:16Eat it.
45:18Well, there's a number of different techniques out there, and the first one is the nudge method.
45:22Push it out of the way, like.
45:24More to push the cake.
45:26The cake?
45:27No, the asteroid.
45:28All right.
45:28Now, our last technique is usually what Hollywood go for, and it involves using a nuclear bomb.
45:35A nuclear bomb?
45:37Where'd you get one of them?
45:38If movies have taught me anything, nuking asteroids always work.
45:42Absolutely.
45:43Does it?
45:44Yes.
45:44We can embed the nuke into the asteroid.
45:46Oh, what are you doing to the cake?
45:48And then blow it up.
45:50What a waste of a muffin.
45:53Oh.
45:54No.
45:55The muffin, right?
45:56Yeah.
45:56Yeah.
45:57But we need to be careful with this technique.
45:59Because now, instead of just one lump heading towards Earth, we have multiple lumps heading
46:03towards Earth, which means they'll have a greater impact area.
46:06That's exactly what happened in Deep Impact.
46:08What?
46:08They shot it, and then it, er...
46:10Crumbled and loads came.
46:11And then did it do some damage?
46:13Massive, man.
46:13Do you know what?
46:14I always love it when things are explained to me like I'm a complete knobhead.
46:19I think it's nice that, you know, it's dumbed down for people like you.
46:24Oh, right.
46:26Easter Sunday night.
46:31Claudia and the lads are wheeling their old Joanno into Brighton.
46:34Major and minor marvellousness from nine o'clock.
46:37And if you're not up on all the tea from SW3, well, I say SW3, but they've spent a lot
46:42of time in the Maldives this series.
46:44Stream the new series right now, ahead of a new episode Monday at five past nine over
46:49on E4.
46:50Back to tonight, and the Big Fat Quiz is next.
46:53I'll see you next time.