Made in Chelsea Season 14 Episode 12

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2 days ago

Made in Chelsea Season 14 Episode 12

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Transcript

00:00Now, which of you would like to hear a Christmas tale?

00:07Me!

00:09Very well, very well.

00:12Then let us begin.

00:15It was Christmas Eve in West London.

00:19That sounds ghastly.

00:38We'll just have to find another one.

00:41Don't you guys think I look so nice in this?

00:43I think I look really cute.

00:45And look at this hat.

00:47Does anyone want a photo with me?

00:50Anyone?

00:51No!

00:52Aww!

00:58No!

00:59This is quite possibly the worst storybook I've ever set hands upon.

01:03It's so precious!

01:06Very good, children.

01:08Ah, here we are.

01:12In a far off land, on a cold, dark night.

01:17A star in the east shone beautiful and bright.

01:22Two shepherds gazed into the sky in order to rest for a while.

01:27When a light shone bright, revealing an angel of questionable star.

01:31Yeah, baby.

01:36Proud look?

01:37How you doing, boys?

01:38You good?

01:39Oh, hello.

01:40The angel told them tales of a child born in a stable, urging them to go there as fast as they were able.

01:47Sounds like a bit of a schlep, to be honest.

01:50Oh, shut up, mutton.

01:52The shepherds arrived in search of the trophy, and met three wise men, named Clemmie, Habs, and Sophie.

02:02They were keen to meet the child from prophecy so great, but instead, they discovered a cruel twist of fate.

02:09All right, Rick Edwards.

02:15Why are you a baby?

02:16The story of the nativity, Sophie.

02:18It's pretty big this time of year.

02:20No, who are my parents?

02:21Oh, Christ.

02:24I don't think you're supposed to take your own name in vain.

02:26We're not exactly delighted ourselves, to be honest.

02:28Yeah, don't be a prick, Rick.

02:30Don't think you should call your own baby a prick.

02:32He's not a baby, he's Rick Edwards.

02:34Is this a joke?

02:35Why are you okay?

02:36Please, please stop me.

02:37So I don't know why you're getting involved.

02:39Well, how fucking long do we have to do all to get here for this?

02:44Oi, oi, everyone calm down.

02:46Fuck this shice.

02:47I just needed a way of getting you together for the Christmas party.

02:51What?

02:52Why is everyone looking at me?

02:53Sam Prince is the donkey.

02:56Hi, everyone.

03:01The travellers knew the next hour would not be for the faint-hearted.

03:05As the small baby child uttered,

03:07Let's get this show started.

03:10This is your weirdest move yet, Rick.

03:12Shut up, man.

03:13Hello, and welcome to this Made in Chelsea end-of-season Christmas party.

03:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

03:28It's Christmas time.

03:30There's no need to be afraid unless, of course, you're a cast member of Made in Chelsea.

03:34In which case, be very afraid.

03:36Because over the next hour, these pampered prima donnas will be getting a festive roasting with all the trimmings.

03:43This series has featured the usual blue blood, some dashing fresh blood and a serious bit of bad blood.

03:49Jamie Lang arrived back in Ibiza looking like Judge Rinder, and within five minutes, it was all over between him and Frankie.

03:56It turns out that as well as singing, Julius can also flamenco dance.

04:01It's been a tough time for Toph after the drama of Chelsea and then going into the celebrity jungle.

04:12I'll be honest, I could hardly watch when she came face-to-face with that revolting, slimy creature.

04:18It's too easy. I'm sorry, Sam. No, I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.

04:22Alec returned like the ghost of Christmas past to remind us he may not be Donald Trump-level New York, but he's still pretty New York.

04:30Listen, I'm an aggressive New Yorker. If I throw kindness to your way and you reject me, I'm gonna shit on you.

04:35Such a way with words.

04:37Sam Thompson's had a series he'll never forget. He moved on from TIFF and then moved into his new bachelor pad.

04:43Through it all, Sam's heart was on his sleeve, and under his sleeve was a weird sort of penis feather tattoo.

04:49I'd love to say he kept smiling throughout, but he really didn't.

05:03I've never seen someone drag their feet so much. We have no soles left on your shoes.

05:06I don't have a soul anymore.

05:10There really is no better Christmas entertainment than watching the upper classes squirm,

05:14so pour yourself a nice glass of sherry and enjoy this lot. Try and defend their indefensible behaviour.

05:20Here's what's coming up.

05:21I get up close and personal with Liv and Digby.

05:25Have you farted in front of her yet?

05:27Absolutely not.

05:29And if you did, I'd dump him.

05:31Sam and TIFF are brought back together for an awkward reunion.

05:34Hey. Hi.

05:36Hi.

05:37And Louise and Ryan's cosy Christmas is interrupted by a long-distance caller.

05:42So joining us from New York, on the phone, it's Alec!

05:45Oh, yay!

05:46Hello!

05:47You love me!

05:50This series we've seen some heartbreaking splits, but love has also blossomed.

05:54No more so than the case of Digby and Liv, or as I like to call them, Div.

05:58Before we chat to them, let's savour their enduring love affair.

06:02Don't go finding a boyfriend, Al!

06:04Are you joking?

06:05Couldn't think of anything worse.

06:06What's your name?

06:07Digby.

06:08I was actually quite nervous coming here.

06:09I was as well, so don't be surprised.

06:11Wait, why were you nervous, though?

06:12Well, I want to date with a beautiful girl, so...

06:14Oh, thank you.

06:15He's such a gentleman.

06:17Yeah, you haven't had a gentleman in a while.

06:19No, I haven't.

06:20Then we've been bellends.

06:21I really, yeah, no, I really, really like him.

06:23Have you had sex with him yet?

06:25Yes.

06:26Yeah.

06:27It's a high end.

06:28Look at that thing!

06:29I really like him.

06:30Are you even my boyfriend?

06:31Yes.

06:32Wait, so this is your first Christmas as a couple.

06:35This is getting serious.

06:36What I'm trying to say is, I love you.

06:38Love you too, Digby.

06:39Oh, you guys.

06:44How's it going?

06:45Yeah, it's good.

06:47It's good.

06:48It's good.

06:49That's a Digby.

06:50Are you the man who has finally melted the cold heart?

06:54The ice cream.

06:55Yeah, I would ice cream.

06:56Because you are.

06:57Because you are.

06:58Because you are.

06:59I've tamed a Divya Bentley, yeah.

07:00I wouldn't say tamed.

07:01This heartwarming talk actually brings me onto a present that I've got for you.

07:06And this is a room key because everyone is very keen for you to get a room.

07:13And this is why.

07:14Oh, my God.

07:15You're on telly, guys.

07:16Revolting.

07:17You're not going to snog again, are you?

07:18No.

07:19I think everybody's seen that enough now.

07:20Everyone's still.

07:21Everyone's still.

07:22I feel in this series that I finally got to understand why you're so sex-obsessed, Liv.

07:36Oh, right.

07:37This.

07:38Oh, right.

07:39How far has it gone?

07:40But sex is great.

07:41Good.

07:42Does Digby agree that he thinks the sex is great?

07:45Yeah.

07:46Top notch.

07:47Oh.

07:48We're not bonking other people and, yeah.

07:49Are you speaking for Digby?

07:50Well, I'm hoping I'm speaking for Digby.

07:51To put it crudely, yes.

07:52We're not bonking anyone else.

07:53Oh, thank God for that.

07:54So it's not Digby, it's Big D.

07:55I'm so sorry.

07:56What are we doing?

07:57That's great.

07:58This.

07:59This.

08:00How far has it gone?

08:01Oh, right.

08:02How far has it gone?

08:03Sex is great.

08:04Good.

08:05Does Digby agree that he thinks the sex is great?

08:07Yes.

08:08Top notch.

08:09We're not bonking other people and, yeah.

08:10Okay.

08:11Are you speaking for Digby?

08:12Well, I hope I'm speaking for Digby.

08:13Well, I'm speaking for Digby.

08:14big D. I'm so sorry. Is that just normal dinner table chat? That is normal chat that goes on at

08:22my house. Always talk about sex. It's a weird one. My family's pretty peculiar. Bit awkward, isn't it?

08:28I've got to say, I thought you handled it incredibly well. You came across as being very charming,

08:34well-mannered, well-adjusted, nice gentleman, which begs the question, what are you doing on this show?

08:41It's weird, isn't it? It is weird. The nice guy. I know, rarity. And Big D, are you still,

08:51would you say, in the fraudulent stage of the relationship, to coin her Louise phrase,

08:57by that I mean, have you farted in front of her yet? Absolutely not. And if he did, I'd dump him.

09:04No, I'm joking. You know, Sam does that to me. What does he do? Sam farts in front of me.

09:08And I was... Liv, come on! Sam farts all the time. These two have... They have competitions at home.

09:14And he's so proud of himself. You have a cut. Hang on. You and Ryan have competitions?

09:18Surely Ryan wins. No, I don't. Ryan does it. You might be huge. He does little high ones.

09:26Oh, bless you. Unbelievably tight sphincter on the guy. No, just to let you know, it happens.

09:34It happens. It will happen. Get past the earmark. He will be everywhere. Trust me.

09:38Oh, God, gross. Can't wait.

09:40Um, there's quite a lot of people in the room who Liv has got with.

09:44How does that make you feel, Digby? You OK with that? I mean, it's not everyone. I didn't ask you, Liv.

09:48I don't know. Everybody has a pass, so, OK, I think you've got to kind of just, like, let it slide.

09:52I mean, you're like, I know Liv's not with anyone else now or doing anything with anyone else now,

09:56so I've kind of got to look at it a bit, I don't know, maturely, I guess. Yeah.

10:00This is what I mean. Such a nice guy. Such a nice guy, isn't he?

10:04Very reasonable stuff.

10:06Good day of everybody.

10:08APPLAUSE

10:10This series, we've heard some classic turns of phrase from man thief to little bitch boy.

10:18But two words are cropped up more than any others. They are vegan and sausage.

10:22Liv, I can confirm you are a multiple sausage offender.

10:26Which word, though, got the most airtime? What do you think?

10:30Oh, sausage. Let's find out.

10:32My family. I think this vegan restaurant.

10:33Sausage

10:35Sausage

10:37Sausage

10:38Sausage

10:39Sausage

10:40Sausage

10:41Sausage

10:42Sausage

10:43Sausage

10:44Sausage

10:45Sausage

10:46Sausage

10:47Sausage

10:49Sausage

10:50Sausage

10:51G-GZA

10:53God, I hate vegans.

10:56There you have it.

10:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

11:02Time for a break, but to tide you over,

11:04see if you can identify this merry little cast member.

11:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

11:20Welcome back to our end-of-season Christmas party.

11:23We all love a bit of Christmas, but for Ryan,

11:25it's Christmas every day.

11:27Oh, ho, ho.

11:28That was Ryan celebrating Christmas in August.

11:31Happy Christmas, mate.

11:32Before the break, we asked you to identify

11:34this little Christmas angel.

11:36Any guesses?

11:37That's Frankie.

11:39Fred, we've got Fred or Frankie.

11:42Let's see.

11:43It was Frankie.

11:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

11:47What about this one?

11:48It was Louise.

11:50It was Louise.

11:52And finally, this person has once previously claimed

11:56he looked exactly the same when he was a baby.

11:59LAUGHTER

12:00Yeah, that is uncanny.

12:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

12:07It's now time to check in with a man

12:08who's been in amongst all the drama.

12:10He said he wanted to go on a journey,

12:12which he duly did.

12:13Unfortunately, that journey was Sir Helen back.

12:15What are you and Tip? Are you guys together?

12:17What's happened?

12:18We're on a break, mate.

12:19It's the stuff that dreams are made of, mate.

12:20It's the stuff that dreams are made of, mate.

12:21It's the stuff that dreams.

12:22Are you still planning on, like,

12:23coming back together at the end of Ibiza?

12:25Yeah, definitely.

12:26I really miss him.

12:27I kind of like bad decisions sometimes.

12:29I like bad decisions too.

12:31OK, well, he's dating Mimi.

12:34Fuck.

12:36You fucked Mimi sober.

12:37We were on a break, and I'm on this journey,

12:39and I am, and it's...

12:40Oh, shut up about your fucking journey!

12:42You don't have any journey.

12:43You just want to fuck girls and talk about it.

12:45Hi, this is Pablo.

12:46This is my friend Harry and Frankie.

12:47I'm Harry.

12:48Nice to be here.

12:49All right, why are you doing this?

12:50Doing what?

12:51You're doing a fucking great, big Spanish cock.

12:54You're not the person I thought you were.

12:56You brought another bloke.

12:57I fuck knows what I dated for three years.

12:59I have no idea.

13:00I 150% don't want to go back there.

13:03I really, really want to be single.

13:05I've really enjoyed it.

13:06I don't mean to be shared a bed.

13:07I don't believe a word you fucking say.

13:10He was trying to get with me.

13:11I am no longer part of your life today.

13:13Why?

13:14That much is most certainly clear.

13:15Why?

13:16I just can't be around him right now,

13:17so I really think I'm going to take a step back for me

13:18to get away for a bit.

13:20I've just realised that, like, it's over now.

13:23But it's fully over.

13:24And we just took her gone in every single time,

13:26and...

13:27and now she's actually is gone.

13:29Let's see how he's feeling after all that.

13:30It's Sam Thompson!

13:31How are you, Sammy?

13:32All right, buddy.

13:33After seeing that, not great.

13:34Before we...

13:35Before we get stuck in,

13:36I do need to show you a clip of a little chat we had

13:37back just before the summer.

13:38Oh, no.

13:39But it is.

13:40Will you be allowed to hook up with other people?

13:41Yeah.

13:42Yeah.

13:43Yeah.

13:44Yeah.

13:45Is there a little chat we had back just before the summer?

13:47Oh, no.

13:48But it is.

13:49Will you be allowed to hook up with other people?

13:50Yeah.

13:51Yeah.

13:52Yeah.

13:53Yeah.

13:54Is there a little chat we had back just before the summer?

13:57Yeah.

13:58Yeah?

13:59Is there anyone who would be on the band list?

14:02Yeah.

14:03Like, friends, obviously.

14:04Okay.

14:05Would never be anyone on the show.

14:06Obviously.

14:07Got that on tape, so...

14:10I feel like I might be playing that back at some point.

14:13I mean, I'm like Nostradamus, Sam.

14:18How do you feel watching that back?

14:20Like being an idiot.

14:21I don't want to say I told you so, Sam.

14:23But I did tell you so, quite clearly.

14:25I can't.

14:26I forgot you actually said that.

14:28Yes, evidently.

14:29Very quickly forgot.

14:30Oh.

14:31According to Mitten, in Ibiza, no girls were safe on the island.

14:36Fundamentally, did you just think I could get through some ladies here?

14:42It was for more than that, but obviously you're in Ibiza.

14:46That is an element, I suppose, of it, but...

14:48Did you think you might get away with it and Tiff would take you back?

14:53Yeah.

14:54If you'd just got with a random girl and not Mimi...

14:57Yeah.

14:58Would that have helped?

14:59I believe so.

15:00He did get with random girls.

15:01Yeah.

15:02But, I mean, yeah.

15:03It was stupid.

15:04I know, it was you.

15:05Like, not to say that you're not lovely.

15:07You are.

15:08It just...

15:09This won't be helping.

15:10Yeah.

15:11For fuck's sake.

15:12I hate a sofa!

15:15What was it that made you suddenly have that quite heartbreaking,

15:21just, breakdown, when you were talking to Tiff?

15:24I mean, that was the worst moment of my life.

15:26Yeah.

15:27By a long, long way.

15:28But I think the realisation that it was actually over,

15:32I think there had been times before where I'd pushed the boundary

15:36but never actually believed it was finished, and...

15:39to actually know that I'd pushed Tiff too far was...

15:43was really horrible.

15:44And, you know, when you just sort of, like,

15:46it's the realisation that everything's actually just gone.

15:49You said recently that you don't feel like you can compete

15:52with Jamie or...

15:54or Mitten when it comes to chat with the ladies.

15:57Yeah.

15:58Is that something you've been working on?

15:59Um...

16:00I haven't really spoken to that many...

16:02females.

16:03All right.

16:04Just jerking off.

16:05Pardon?

16:06Jerking off?

16:07A bit.

16:08LAUGHTER

16:09But, yeah, I don't know.

16:10I've...

16:11How many times a day?

16:12LAUGHTER

16:13You don't even want to know, right?

16:16I do!

16:17I'll tell you later.

16:18Is it double figures?

16:19No.

16:20So you haven't really spoken to Tiff?

16:22Not really, no.

16:23Let's get her up here.

16:24Tiff, come on!

16:25APPLAUSE

16:26How are you?

16:28Good.

16:30Uh, you left midway through the series.

16:31Yeah.

16:32What have you been up to?

16:33Um, I was just in Bali, so I just got back this morning, actually.

16:34Any...

16:35any sort of romantic interests?

16:36Oh, Rick, come on!

16:37Oh, Rick, come on!

16:38Good to find out!

16:39Yeah.

16:40Fair.

16:41Oh, no, it's not really.

16:42Sam's been doing some soul searching, trying to work out what went wrong.

16:43In your view, what was it?

16:44Um...

16:45A.

16:46A.

16:47Hi.

16:48Uh, I think it was just a sort of build-up of things.

16:51Obviously, Ibiza was not great, and then, after that, he went and did Big Brother, but he had, like, some sort of romance with a girl in there, and I just lost respect for him.

17:00And then, when he came out of the house, I thought maybe we could try and make things work, then we started arguing, and...

17:18If you hadn't gone on a break, would you still be together?

17:21I can imagine so, yeah.

17:22I don't know.

17:23I don't know.

17:24If you hadn't gone on a break, would you still be together?

17:26I think that...

17:27I think that...

17:28I can imagine so, yeah.

17:29I don't know.

17:30Ooh.

17:32Come on.

17:33Um...

17:34It was a stupid idea, don't go on a break.

17:36It's not a good idea.

17:37Louise.

17:38Hello.

17:39What do you think?

17:40Was it good that I, uh, went on the break?

17:42I remember me and Ryan actually always said you shouldn't go on the break, but...

17:48I always say the same thing, I really want them to end up together.

17:52I love Tiff so much, and obviously I love and care about my brother a lot.

17:56And we'll just see what happens in the future, but I don't like to think that anything has to be finite.

18:01You don't give up hope.

18:02How did you feel when you found out that, uh, Sam had got rid of your initials and replaced it with a cock?

18:08I was really shocked, actually.

18:09I can't...

18:10I can't...

18:11I haven't actually seen it.

18:12Oh, go on.

18:13It's well worth a look.

18:14Get your cock out.

18:15Yeah.

18:16Come on!

18:17And this is all good.

18:19How much responsibility do you take?

18:32Well, I did the Sam Prince thing, so I can't exactly take all of it, but I think...

18:36I take...

18:37I take a good 80.

18:38What do you want?

18:39I want 90.

18:40Come on!

18:41Go!

18:42Let's settle on 85.

18:43Oi!

18:44Let's settle on 85.

18:45Yeah.

18:4685%!

18:4785% responsibility!

18:49Please give it up for Saladin!

18:50There are a few things us mere mortals have in common with these spoiled socialites, but one thing we all share is a love of eggnog and post-Christmas dinner party games.

19:09I'm just going to dive in.

19:10Don't care if it's rude.

19:11Stick it on my head and then I have to guess who it is by asking questions.

19:14I think I can manage to do it.

19:17I want to, like, read it.

19:21Is this a good friend of mine?

19:23Um...

19:24Was?

19:25Am I a girl?

19:26Yes.

19:27Am I pretty?

19:28Yes.

19:29Is it me?

19:30No.

19:31Am I a musician?

19:36I mean...

19:37I mean...

19:38You like to strum, but...

19:39Not in this reference.

19:40You kind of...

19:42Just...

19:43A bit of a dick.

19:45Okay.

19:46Has mine tried to steal a boyfriend before?

19:49And succeeded?

19:50Yes.

19:51Am I gonna...

19:52Am I gonna stay with my boyfriend?

19:53If he doesn't bore you.

19:55Is this person funny?

19:57No.

19:58Do I sleep around?

20:02I wish.

20:03She...

20:04Likes eating sausage.

20:06Oh, it's Sophie Herman.

20:07Yeah.

20:08Does...

20:09You clearly must know who it is now.

20:11Yes, I do.

20:12So who is it?

20:13Er...

20:14You're fucking useless.

20:16Do I get around?

20:18Out of passion and, you know, good intentions.

20:22Oh, maybe?

20:23Yeah!

20:24Yeah!

20:25I'm now joined on the sofa by two new faces, an old face and a snake with a handsome human face.

20:34It's Habs, Clemmie, Alex and Harry!

20:36How are you all?

20:37Good.

20:38Good.

20:39Yeah, really good.

20:40Let me...

20:41Let me start with you, Alex.

20:43Why were you taking things so slowly with Habs?

20:46I just...

20:47I wasn't looking for anything too serious and I finally...

20:49I think it was because he wasn't interested.

20:50Hey, hey, hey, hey.

20:51Come on.

20:52Have your time, Harry.

20:53I mean, I am here, Harry.

20:54Let's remember.

20:55I'd come out of a relationship.

20:56I wasn't looking for anything serious.

20:57I was just, you know, having fun and taking it slow.

21:00But other people seem to like to try and push things along and get involved.

21:04Have an opinion.

21:05Oh, yeah.

21:06Have an opinion.

21:07And Habs, was it frustrating for you?

21:09What, how slow he is?

21:10Yeah.

21:11Not really.

21:12I mean, you are pretty shit at making any effort, but I'm recently out of a relationship

21:19too, so I wasn't really looking to jump into anything either.

21:21Hmm.

21:22So...

21:23Have you ever met a slower mover?

21:25I think he might be the slowest snail in all the land of snails.

21:30Snail and snake?

21:31Lovely.

21:32Yeah.

21:33Really won the jackpot there, didn't I?

21:36To be fair, Habs, in a way you weren't missing out on much.

21:39Here's what happens when you do get arsed out on a date by Alex.

21:42Hi.

21:43Is that Melanie?

21:44Hi.

21:45Yes.

21:46Hey, it's that bumbling mess that you met the other day when we did the singles workout.

21:51We went...

21:52Sorry, say that again?

21:53Do you remember meeting a guy the other day?

21:56We went butt to butt at the singles.

21:58At the singles...

21:59We went there.

22:00Oh.

22:01I can't hear you.

22:02It's up to me.

22:03It's up to me.

22:04It's up to me.

22:05It's up to me.

22:06Hi.

22:07Sorry, can you hear me?

22:08Oh, dude, this is awful.

22:09Alex, I met you the other day at the singles...

22:11Oh!

22:12It is an absolute masterclass.

22:16Yeah.

22:17Painful.

22:18Painful.

22:19Did you always expect Harry to try and sneak in and grab a little date from under your nose?

22:24I kind of suspected it.

22:25What was it like being in the middle as these two proud animals fought for you?

22:30Yeah, it wasn't great.

22:34I've got to say, Harry, it was straight from the Harry Baron playbook.

22:38Which is?

22:39Do you ever look back on stuff and feel guilty?

22:43Can you feel guilt?

22:44Do you feel any human emotions?

22:45I mean...

22:46What am I meant to feel guilty about here is like...

22:49There you go.

22:50So, no, then.

22:51So, no.

22:52Interesting.

22:53But you get what you might feel guilty about, no?

22:55It depends on the situation, obviously.

22:56OK, so the situation that we're talking about, do you feel guilty?

22:59Yeah.

23:00I wouldn't say so.

23:01I wouldn't say that...

23:02No.

23:03I don't think so.

23:04Can you see why other people might imagine that you should?

23:07Yeah.

23:08Yeah.

23:09I get that.

23:10OK.

23:11From, like, baby steps.

23:12Yeah.

23:13And does that slightly make you start to think, hmm, maybe I should feel a little bit guilty?

23:18Go on, mate.

23:20Yeah, go on, then.

23:21It's Christmas.

23:22It's Christmas.

23:23It's Christmas.

23:24I feel guilt.

23:25Fested guilt.

23:26Fested guilt.

23:27Fested guilt.

23:28Fested guilt.

23:29One question, actually.

23:30Go on, Sam.

23:31Sophie, would you like me to ask you out?

23:33What, as in ask me out on a date?

23:35No, as in, I'd be your boyfriend.

23:36Absolutely not.

23:37Oh, wow.

23:38How did you film it?

23:39Oh, my God.

23:40Wow.

23:41Oh, my God.

23:42Yeah.

23:43That would be...

23:44You had a Christmas kiss under the mistletoe and everything?

23:45What, it's just nothing.

23:46No, he's really nice, but that would be way too fast.

23:47Just call him a snail, though.

23:48Sam, you're not at war.

23:49You don't need to be doing this.

23:50Yeah, I've never said I didn't like snail pace.

23:51Big brother, I've had an experience.

23:52Um, Clemmie, eventful few weeks for you.

23:53Yeah, just a bit.

23:54Have you forgiven Jamie for using you as a pawn?

23:55Yeah, I mean, I'm not the kind of person to hold a guard forever.

23:56I just kind of have it out a little bit and then move on from it.

23:57Like, it's not worth it.

23:58It's not worth it.

23:59It's worth it.

24:00It's worth it.

24:01It's worth it.

24:02It's worth it.

24:03It's worth it.

24:04It's worth it.

24:05It's worth it.

24:06It's worth it.

24:07It's worth it.

24:08It's worth it.

24:09It's worth it.

24:10It's worth it.

24:11It's worth it.

24:12I'm not the kind of person to hold a guard forever.

24:13I just kind of have it out a little bit and then move on from it.

24:17Like, it's no...

24:18It's not worth it.

24:19Nice and fiery as well.

24:20Yeah, but it's not worth, like, he's not worth me being upset over for a long period

24:25of time, I don't think, so.

24:26Sure, sure.

24:27Did you, in hindsight, make the wrong choice at the triple date?

24:32Should you have gone for old Sammy?

24:33Yes.

24:34She should have.

24:37It's clear that both of them still have a bit of baggage, so to be honest,

24:40they probably just shouldn't have gone with either of them.

24:43So you still feel that Jamie has feelings for Frankie?

24:46Yeah, totally.

24:47Fair, Frank?

24:48Yeah.

24:49Fair.

24:50Pretty fair.

24:51Thank you very much to Habs, Clemmie, Alex and Harry!

24:54CHEERING

24:57One of my personal highlights this series was the arrival of an enlightened guru

25:01to guide Jamie through choppy waters, and I'm very pleased to report

25:04that the mystical guru has graced us with his presence tonight

25:08to offer some much-needed guidance.

25:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

25:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

25:18Oh, little mitten, dressed like a lamb,

25:23Godspeed on your quest for the girl with the most hideous fake tan.

25:27LAUGHTER

25:29Oh, Ryman, oh, Ryman, what have you done?

25:34You shoved that New Yorker right up your bum.

25:37LAUGHTER

25:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

25:47Thank you, guru. Thank you, guru.

25:49It's sometimes hard to know when a guru is finished.

25:53That information will take a few minutes to decipher,

25:55so it's the perfect time to take a break.

25:56But don't go anywhere, as very soon Mark, Francis, Victoria and Sophie

26:00will be naming and shaming the worst-dressed cast members of the series.

26:03See you in a bit.

26:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

26:06Did you find that slightly uncomfortable to wear?

26:09It looks like cotton.

26:10From New York, on the phone, it's Alec!

26:13Oh, yay!

26:14I love you!

26:15You love it!

26:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

26:26Welcome back to our end-of-season Christmas party

26:28featuring the cast of Made in Chelsea.

26:30The drink is flowing, everyone's in high spirits,

26:32there really is nowhere they'd rather be.

26:35Isn't that right, Mimi and Charlie?

26:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

26:40How are you both?

26:42Good, very good, thanks.

26:44Been hanging out much recently?

26:45No.

26:46No.

26:47Nothing, nothing that surprises me.

26:49I did see her, though.

26:50I saw her in a bar, actually.

26:51It was quite funny.

26:52Did you say hello?

26:53I did!

26:54Do I remember?

26:55Oh, yeah, I was on a date.

26:56Did you say hello?

26:57Oh, great stuff.

26:58Yeah, no, he came to sit right next to me on my date, actually,

27:00and we went to another bar.

27:01That is passive-aggressive.

27:02Well done, mate.

27:03Anyway, yeah.

27:05Is this awkward?

27:06A little bit.

27:07A little bit.

27:08Yeah.

27:09From my sort of point of view on the whole thing,

27:11she never even spoke to me.

27:12You know, she never said, you know,

27:13stop messaging me.

27:14Stop the...

27:15But it was...

27:16Oh, okay.

27:17I need to tell you to not talk.

27:18No, but you know what?

27:19The only time...

27:20Could you do it all in her voice, please?

27:21I can do everything in her way.

27:23I actually get quite a good impression.

27:25No, it was, you know...

27:27I don't know.

27:28It was just a bit...

27:29bit weird.

27:30She felt too keen.

27:31No, I felt too keen.

27:32I just wasn't feeling it, and that's it.

27:34And I don't need...

27:35Which I appreciate.

27:36I don't even need an explanation.

27:37That's the thing.

27:38I just...

27:39I stopped feeling it, and...

27:40And that's that?

27:41That's that, yeah.

27:42You didn't react brilliantly, did you?

27:45I didn't, no.

27:46Because I was...

27:47Can we watch?

27:48Can we watch it?

27:49Yes, we can.

27:50Yes, we can.

27:51Like, romantically right now, it's not really what I'm looking for.

27:54Are you taking a piss?

27:56I just feel like I've sort of been plagued around a little bit, Mimi.

27:59Oh, my God, Charlie, you're playing victim right now.

28:01I wish that you could just acknowledge that I don't see romantically anymore.

28:04No, that's fine.

28:05No, 100%.

28:06That's ideally what I would want to do.

28:07I don't really want to be friends with these things.

28:08You don't want to be friends?

28:09No.

28:10Okay, well, I guess...

28:11I don't really think I have anything else to say to you, so...

28:18He's a great guy, and he's nice.

28:20I don't think he's a bad person.

28:21It was just like...

28:22You played it on really well?

28:23Yeah.

28:24No, no, no.

28:25At the end of the day, we actually do get along quite well.

28:26We actually do get along.

28:27And...

28:28Do you agree or disagree?

28:30I think...

28:31I get along with a lot of you.

28:32I just...

28:33I don't want to permit...

28:34You know, I'm not like...

28:35I don't think we...

28:36No, no, no.

28:37We wouldn't be good as a couple, but we could be friends.

28:39Yeah, because I'm not manipulative and you are, and I'm quite a nice person, as you say.

28:42Hooray!

28:44Mimi and Charlie, everyone.

28:47Next up, it's time for the very best putdowns of the series.

28:52You literally dropped me in a second.

28:54That's Lach coming from a little man thief like yourself.

28:56You're like an angry bear.

28:58Very angry.

28:59You're a fucking average bloke.

29:00I thought you were great, but you're fucking average.

29:02It's a running joke that you're a slut.

29:04No one fucking likes you.

29:05Oh, my God.

29:06You're a fake fucking bloke, and you're a fake funny friend.

29:07You're an idiot, dude.

29:08He's going to be bellend.

29:09It sucks that you can't do this for everybody's sake.

29:12It sucks that you fucked my boyfriend.

29:14Just because you're caught out for being a little slimy bastard, Harry.

29:17Then breathe your ears because you're Jamie's plus one.

29:19See you later.

29:20Both of you are fucking dark throng and I'm out of this.

29:24Sophie, grow up to fucking 30.

29:26Grow up.

29:27Shut the fuck up.

29:29Christmas is a time for giving, so with that in mind,

29:34we're spending this evening giving our beloved cast a good ribbing

29:37for their pleasure.

29:38Up until now, we've primarily focused on their deep-seated

29:41psychological flaws, but now it's time to turn our attention

29:44to more aesthetic failings.

29:46Here to analyse the worst fashion mistakes of the series

29:49are three bastions of timeless style.

29:52Mark Francis, Victoria and Sophie.

29:54So, generally speaking, Mark, what do you think of your favorite

29:58fellow cast members' style?

30:00I tend not to.

30:02But if you just glanced over to your left now...

30:05Yes.

30:06What do you make of it?

30:07A lot of gifting, a bit of borrowing, and a few unfortunate

30:10things in between.

30:12Well, there we go.

30:13That was actually kinder than I thought you were going to be.

30:15Mm!

30:16Let's have a look at our first, well, crime.

30:21Fashion crime.

30:23Oh!

30:24Now, the leather jacket and cricket jumper combo.

30:28With no shirt, interestingly.

30:30Did you find that slightly uncomfortable to wear?

30:33It looks like cotton.

30:34It was very comfy.

30:35I enjoyed it.

30:36I liked it.

30:37Oh, you did?

30:38I got subtle frottage on the nipple.

30:39Loved it.

30:40Loved it, Marky.

30:41Glad to hear it.

30:42Loved it, Marky.

30:43Okay, next fashion breach.

30:46Is it sponsored by NASA?

30:50On a scale from one to ten, it's a cosmonaut for me.

30:55Ooh!

30:56I would say on this one, it's sort of like a turkey ready to go

31:00into the oven.

31:01But it's Christmas Day, it's the only day of the year

31:03where you can get away with that.

31:04But everyone has a turkey.

31:06Next faux pas, please.

31:08My oh my.

31:10This is my favourite, the denim choker.

31:12Don't you rather feel that it's rather as though someone's

31:17been run over and the pearl necklace has ended up getting

31:20ingrained in the outfit?

31:22I personally like a little bit of Texas bondage.

31:26Oh.

31:27Ooh.

31:28Noted, Sophie.

31:29That's very Tom Ford post-Gucci.

31:32Yeah.

31:33Yeah.

31:34But I look really happy, so...

31:35And happiness is, of course, all that matters.

31:37Of course.

31:38Thank you to our king and queens of style, Mark Francis,

31:41Victoria and Sophie!

31:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

31:44Earlier we had our love in with Liv and Digby, but now it's

31:48time for something closer to an autopsy.

31:51It's time to focus on the break-up of Jamie and Frankie.

31:54Let's first remind ourselves of the bad times, the bad times

31:58and the worst times.

32:00I'm king of the world!

32:03Woo!

32:05If I said she let's go on a break, what would you say?

32:07Do you want to go on a fucking break?

32:08I don't want to go on a break.

32:09Because I'll shag a lot more than you.

32:12Do you miss him?

32:13I thought I'd, like, really, really miss him, but I actually

32:15found it, like, really refreshing.

32:17So you want a break out of him?

32:18Yeah, well, I feel like it is heading that way.

32:21Well, if that's what you want, then that's it.

32:23OK, we're done, fine.

32:24We're done.

32:25OK.

32:26Well, then we're done.

32:29Frankie, James.

32:30Hi.

32:31Nice to meet you.

32:32Shall we go?

32:33Thanks.

32:35Did you have sex?

32:38No.

32:39I can't say anything, because I...

32:40Of course she didn't.

32:41A gentleman loved it.

32:42I know.

32:43You broke my heart, OK?

32:44I know.

32:45You fucked it the first time with Harry.

32:46Frankie.

32:47Could not move on.

32:48Now, with James, you're getting involved again.

32:49I made a mistake.

32:50All right?

32:51I don't care about you.

32:53I was bad, and I'm sorry.

32:56But I do forgive you.

32:59I love you.

33:02Well, unfortunately, Jamie can't be with us tonight, as he is on the other side of the world, as far away from here as possible.

33:11Frankie is here, though, to navigate us through the bitter split. Frankie, how are you?

33:17I'm actually really good.

33:19Are you?

33:20Yeah.

33:21You look happy.

33:22I feel good.

33:23Is this definitely the end of the road for you two?

33:26I think so, yeah.

33:28You and James, nothing there now?

33:30Um, like, me and James have only been on a few days, but we do get on really well.

33:36But I just feel like Jamie, obviously, is still very much involved in my life and has made it almost impossible to move on.

33:45Now, as I said, Jamie couldn't be here this evening, but we did speak to him before we left the country to get his thoughts on you and the breakup.

33:53So I thought it might be quite fun to play a bit of ex-mister and missus.

33:58So, Frankie, all you have to do is try and get inside Jamie Lang's shaved head and work out how he answered the following questions.

34:06OK.

34:07Feeling confident?

34:08Mm-hm.

34:09OK.

34:10Question number one.

34:11We asked Jamie, how would you sum up yours and Frankie's relationship?

34:16Did he say,

34:18A, like flying first class but then being served prosecco instead of champagne?

34:23B, like owning an Italian sports car, beautiful to look at but totally unreliable.

34:30Or C, like when you get daffodils and they're bright yellow and beautiful, then they die and go brown and crispy.

34:38They're all insults.

34:40They are all insults, yeah.

34:42B.

34:43B, so you think B. Let's see if you're right.

34:45You know when you get daffodils, OK, they blossom, they're great, they're beautiful, the yellow.

34:49When they die, they go brown and crispy.

34:51That's our relationship.

34:52Ooh.

34:53That is bleak.

34:55Really, really bleak.

34:57OK, question number two.

34:59We asked Jamie, what is the most annoying thing about Frankie?

35:04Did he say, A, her constant flirting, B, she leaves her knickers everywhere, or C, her morning breath?

35:12B.

35:13B. You think it's the knickers everywhere?

35:15Yeah.

35:16Let's see if you're right.

35:17Most annoying thing about Frankie, her mess.

35:19She's literally the messiest person in the entire world.

35:22There's like, honestly, knickers everywhere.

35:24It's a joke.

35:25Very good.

35:26Very good.

35:27OK.

35:28So, putting Jamie to one side for a moment, I think it's time probably to address another person that you've recently had a falling out with.

35:36Liv.

35:37Would you like to join us on the sofa?

35:38Here she comes.

35:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

35:48Now, you two, what's happened?

35:51You were lovely friends, and now you're not lovely friends.

35:55I think a lot of stuff's happened between Frankie and I, a lot of stuff that we never sort of addressed.

36:01And so we swept it under the carpet, and then we finally, like, blew up at each other.

36:05Mm-hm.

36:06It blew up at the dinner party?

36:07It blew up at the dinner party.

36:08So you'd kind of been bottling stuff up a bit, not talking about it, and then...

36:11But it wasn't really, like, it wasn't major, major stuff, it was just, like, loads of small little bits that I think Frankie felt towards me, I'd done wrong, and I'd felt towards her.

36:18Frankie, do you still think that Digby is a bit wet?

36:21Yeah.

36:22No, I think, I didn't realise how offensively you take that comment.

36:26Can I actually say, Digby's very different to a lot of guys, and he's, I don't think he's wet at all.

36:29I think he's, he's a lot more honest, and he's a lot, he's very sweet.

36:32It's very rare that you meet someone who is just genuinely honest and just charming, basically.

36:37Um, the, the dinner party, were you surprised, Frankie, when Liv...

36:42Yes.

36:43..backed Jamie?

36:45Yes, I was, actually. Like, you're the one person who I thought would have maybe had my back.

36:51Where do you stand on this, Alex?

36:53I think, I think Liv was just being very upfront about the situation.

36:57I think, Frank, you do sometimes not say it how it is, and I think Liv was just kind of telling you that you might have been using James.

37:03It kind of did look like that on both parties, like, it was obviously, it was obvious for Jamie that he was using Clemmie,

37:09but it kind of looked like you were using James as well, to be honest.

37:14Thoughts, Frankie?

37:16I, honestly, I think that's so unfair, like, so unfair.

37:19Like, I was trying to move on so bad.

37:22And I, I was saying to everyone, I was like, you know what, I feel really bad that I'm okay, and that I'm finally moving on all these things.

37:28And then for them to people to say that I'm using someone to get at Jamie.

37:31Surely you want your friends to move on and be happy and see other people and do all these things?

37:35But everyone forgets that, although she's my friend, I'm still going to tell her if she's wrong.

37:39And I think the reason it, you know, came out how it was is that I do feel like I've seen the way you are with Jamie now,

37:44although you're not together, and you do behave slightly misleadingly towards him.

37:49But, and that's all I sort of meant.

37:51But I don't think that's me being a bad person.

37:53No, I'm not, but it wasn't me calling him.

37:55I wasn't calling you out saying you're a bad person at all.

37:58Okay, well, just to clear it up, I wasn't using anyone.

38:00I was just trying to move on and be happy on my own.

38:02Speaking of moving on, we're going to move on.

38:04Thank you very much, Liv and Frankie.

38:06That is a quick break. I think the atmosphere in here is, oh, it's poisonous.

38:13When we get back, we'll be getting a visit from Santa Claus,

38:15and we'll be chatting to the fittest couple in Chelsea, Louise and Ryan.

38:19Don't go anywhere.

38:25All right, now, am I overpaid?

38:32Probably, yeah.

38:33Definitely more than us.

38:34Am I one of those people that thinks I'm really funny, but I'm actually not?

38:38Yes.

38:39Am I really smug?

38:40Yeah.

38:41Arrogant?

38:42Yeah.

38:43Insecure?

38:44Probably, it's probably the root of all of the other...

38:46Oh, what's Rick Edwards?

38:48Is it?

38:49Yes!

38:50It's hurtful, because I genuinely thought me and Francis were friends.

38:56We have seen some monumental breakups this series,

38:59but one couple have remained steadfast through testing times,

39:02proving beyond doubt that a couple who work out together

39:05really do stay together.

39:06It's Louise and Ryan!

39:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

39:10How are you both?

39:11Not too bad, yeah.

39:13Happy to be here.

39:14Both number four?

39:15Hopefully not going to get grilled.

39:16Don't think you're going to get much of a grilling?

39:17No sweat patches this time.

39:18I love it when you get sweaty, though.

39:21You were actually responsible, Louise,

39:23for one of my favourite quotes of the series,

39:25which was, of course, this.

39:27I've never tried to have sex with anyone in my life.

39:29It just happens.

39:30Like, they just want to have sex with me.

39:32LAUGHTER

39:33That is so arrogant.

39:35Confidence.

39:36Great confidence, though.

39:37It's true, though.

39:38I like it.

39:39That's the thing.

39:40You're not even taking it back.

39:41You're like, it's so arrogant, but it's true.

39:43Maybe I just date really, like, horny guys.

39:45Ryan?

39:46Sorry.

39:47I know, we really don't want to talk about the exes.

39:49LAUGHTER

39:50The horny exes, right?

39:52Um, how is everything in that department?

39:55Got your mojos back?

39:56We have, yeah, in a big way.

39:58Oh, wow.

39:59OK.

40:00Good stuff.

40:01Reviewing.

40:02Now, we do obviously need to talk about the elephant in the room.

40:06Alec.

40:08How are you feeling now about the whole situation, Ryan?

40:10It was all put to bed there and then on that D-Day, if you want to call it that.

40:15You seem genuinely contrite.

40:17You knew you shouldn't have done that, probably.

40:19Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

40:20Yeah, you were really remorseful.

40:21But, you know, all my emotions from that incident, they're not so much directed at Alec.

40:27Like, I mean, in my mind, he acted in a very disrespectful way and I didn't take to it kindly.

40:32But all my emotion and all my sort of remorse is angled towards Louise.

40:38And, you know, thankfully, I've got a real winner in the sense that she stood by me and she didn't sort of hold any grudges.

40:46Are you apprehensive about Alec's return in January to the UK?

40:52He was keen to, I think, apologise to me, but I have no desire to spend any time with him until him and Ryan figure things out.

41:03I just, I don't need to make it any more awkward than it already is.

41:06I don't want to make it any more awkward than it already is, obviously.

41:09And, of course, Alec isn't here today.

41:11But seeing as it is Christmas, I want there to be peace in Chelsea, good will to all men.

41:16So joining us from New York, on the phone, it's Alec!

41:19Oh, yay!

41:21You love it!

41:23Alec, how are you feeling about coming back to the UK in January?

41:27Very excited.

41:28You know, I felt like I needed to make a change.

41:31I needed to switch professions, pursue something that makes me happy.

41:34So I couldn't be more excited about coming to London.

41:38In hindsight, mate, do you feel you were slightly provocative when you met Ryan?

41:43I think I'd probably.

41:45I mean, you know, it's just part of my nature.

41:47I mean, honestly, it's just kind of who I am, and I guess that's not really an English thing.

41:53I guess it's more of a New York thing, but I could have been more delicate, but I certainly wasn't expecting the big reaction.

42:00Ryan and Louise are on the sofa.

42:02Do you have any nice Christmas message for them?

42:06Merry Christmas, for God's sake!

42:09Thank you very much for joining us. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas, mate.

42:13Thanks, mate.

42:14Merry Christmas, Alec!

42:21I just don't understand why he would want to move back here, because...

42:23He likes it here!

42:25OK, yeah, who am I to dictate where he lives, but everything has changed so much.

42:30All of his friends have changed, everyone has moved on so far.

42:32I think that he thinks that he's going to come back to two years ago.

42:37Mm.

42:38And it's not the case, but I wish him all the best.

42:41We will see. We will see.

42:43Sam, are you looking forward to Alec coming back?

42:46Uh, if he's a little bit more like the Alec I remember, then yeah.

42:51But if he comes back and he's just, like, bullshit again and annoying, then...

42:56No.

42:57Then no.

42:58And, uh, you declared your love this season, Brian, with a lovely tattoo.

43:04He's not a tattoo kind of guy. He's so innocent and, like...

43:07No.

43:08But happy with it? No regrets?

43:09No, I love it, yeah.

43:10I know some people are a bit like, oh, God, you're that guy with the girlfriend's name tattooed on you.

43:15But I love it, and it means a lot to Louise and myself.

43:17In every single scene we did after that, you literally went like this.

43:21He, like, loved getting it out.

43:22Uh, are you still refusing to get one?

43:23Yeah.

43:24You know what?

43:25No offence to anybody, but I've never looked at a woman who's got a tattoo and really admired it.

43:30I've never thought, oh, that's so beautiful and stunning.

43:33Yeah, but that's because they haven't got the Rye Man tattooed on your wrist.

43:36LAUGHTER

43:37Um, how thrilled were you with the promise ring?

43:40Thrilled?

43:41Not that thrilled, it's too big.

43:42Oh, you're not wearing it.

43:44No, no, no.

43:45Um...

43:46Honestly, it was actually the sweetest thing I've ever received, and I...

43:50It was actually...

43:51Because I wanted to give him a promise ring, but he got in there first, and...

43:56Ryan even, like, welled up when he gave it to me.

43:59It was one of the most special moments ever.

44:00It was cute.

44:01Um, did you secretly want one on the old left hand?

44:05Next year?

44:07CHEERING

44:08So, next year?

44:09Yeah, next year.

44:10OK.

44:11There are deadlines.

44:12I don't know why you're pretending to be so surprised.

44:14Hang on, who's setting the deadlines?

44:15Louise.

44:16Oh, right, OK.

44:17So, please do that for Louisa Ryan.

44:19That was so sweet.

44:20APPLAUSE

44:21We are nearly at the end of the show, so it's time to have one last look back at a series that really did have it all.

44:28Jimmy!

44:30Only you could have convinced me to come to this island of sin.

44:36I slept in your dirty sack sheets.

44:39Oh, shut up about your fucking journey!

44:42You don't have any journey, you just want to fuck girls and talk about it.

44:45Let's be lonely together.

44:50Let's be lonely together.

44:54Oui, bonjour.

44:55That's not real.

44:57I tell you...

44:58Oh my God, I'm like nervous.

44:59I'm really sorry.

45:00You're like an angry bear.

45:02Very angry.

45:03Yeah, you just change your fucking tune every week and it's fucking boring.

45:06Where's your...

45:07Where's your fucking phone?

45:10I do all my important phone calls from the back.

45:13Well, we're boxers.

45:22What the damn hell is happening here?

45:25I'm speaking from my heart and how I feel.

45:27You were so close to me.

45:30If you want to use somebody else, go and fucking use somebody else.

45:32It looks like a clock!

45:41Now they may have spent the last few months with each other's throats, throwing shade, drinks and hissy fits, but underneath it all, they love each other like family. Am I right, Tiff and Mimi?