Taskmaster (AU) - Season 4 Episode 2 -
What Is Life?
What Is Life?
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:23No!
00:24I hate you.
00:27Let me out of here!
00:30Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:41If you're someone who is new to our show
00:43because right-to-disconnect laws
00:45have finally given you back your leisure time, welcome.
00:49I sure can't wait to show you the gold standard
00:51for how a boss should treat their employees.
00:54Where will he?
00:57Look at that, right in.
01:05Competing for the Taskmaster Trophy are five comedians.
01:07Sorry, four comedians and Lisa McCune.
01:10Sorry.
01:11Three comedians and Tommy Little and Lisa McCune.
01:14Sorry, I'll start again.
01:16Competing are five humans.
01:18Sorry, four humans and Dave Hughes.
01:20Wait up.
01:22Let's just welcome them.
01:24Dave Hughes!
01:26Emma Holland!
01:28Google Feldman!
01:29lei
01:42support blanket is all stiff for some reason. It's Dom Cashman. How's it going, Lisa, Dom?
01:53Not too bad. I learned a fact this week. Yeah, okay. Apparently there are more germs on your
01:58dining room table than there are on your toilet seat. Oh. Because I snuck into your house and
02:02did something disgusting to your dining room table. I'm joking, I'm joking. I didn't do anything.
02:10I don't care, I just licked your earwax. I couldn't give a shit, Lisa, Tom.
02:16All right, so what's the prize task please? Tonight our contestants have been asked to bring in
02:20something they consider to be the weirdest thing to just casually have up one's sleeve. All right,
02:25Big Dave Hughes, what have you brought for us? I brought my ARIA award from 2006. Hang on,
02:32did you have a hit single? No, they have a comedy section and I won in 2006. Beat out. Thank you.
02:39It was a long time ago. So yeah, but they're really heavy and really pointy. You could kill
02:47a burglar with them, no doubt about it. So to have it up your sleeve would be only, it would be good
02:52because people would say I'm an award winner and I can, you know, kill them. Are you saying that you
02:59winning an award is also part of the surprise? So it's like, because you look like a loser and it's like,
03:03hang on. He's a winner. No, I know. I hear exactly what you're saying and my subconscious is...
03:11No, but yeah, no. Yeah. Anyway, whatever. I'm rich.
03:14Okay. What have you got, Emma? Olives.
03:26I'm not talking in the jar. I'm talking about having those babies loose.
03:30So you've just got loose and you've got like wet sort of salty water there. The brine's just a wet
03:34sleeve. Yeah. I just can't think of a situation where that wouldn't be strange.
03:38And olives are a super food. We've got to remember that. So olives are a super food. Really...
03:44Are you fighting for me? I'm just saying they're really healthy food and some people
03:49watching at home might not realise. What do you think this is? The morning show?
03:53You're going to throw to an infomercial? What's going on? But I also think the only thing weirder
03:58than having olives up your sleeve is by backing it up with, they're a super food.
04:01Yeah. Pretty weird. All right. Lisa, what did you bring in?
04:08After being traumatised by having three children, you become very reliant on wet wipes. Yeah. I mean,
04:14a pack of them. And I do think you need a pack, but you know. But if you got, if you had many,
04:19it could be like a magic trick where they keep... So that's a fair point. I see what you're saying.
04:24Because if you think of things being hidden up a sleeve, maybe never ending hankies is something you
04:29would expect because it's a classic trick. Yeah. Are they a super food?
04:35You know what? Well, they dissolve. All right. Tommy. I bought magic cards.
04:41Oh. Yeah. And the magic thing about them is that they've got nothing on them.
04:47During lockdown, I took up magic. Yeah. And ironically,
04:50the only thing that disappeared was my girlfriend.
04:52And... But these were on a magician's website and they're like,
04:58you've got to have magic cards. I have no use for them. Because if you're doing a magic trick
05:05and you say, select a card, it's never a blank one. Tommy, just so you know,
05:10you're not meant to use only them while doing magic. You're meant to incorporate them into existing
05:15decks of cards to pat at the deck or... That is where you're wrong. Because if I use just them,
05:20and you pick a card, I know it's going to be a blank one.
05:24But if I put other cards in there, how am I ever supposed to know which one you pick?
05:28Not... Not every card trick is, what card did I just pick out?
05:32Every one that I do, it.
05:35Okay. So, uh, Walker. Yep.
05:38What would you think would be weird to have up your sleeve?
05:40I think... Piercing. Everyone has a tattoo on the sleeve.
05:44A piercing? Body piercing.
05:45What, like a pierced ear stored up your sleeve? I don't understand.
05:49Oh, here we go. No!
05:52Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
05:55What? Ah!
06:00Hang on. I did that three days ago.
06:02You go...
06:06Oh, you're the best!
06:10That was my first piercing in my life. Yeah.
06:13I never had a pierced before. Oh, he's got one too!
06:15And he's a nice guy. He's Adam.
06:17And I sent a message, can I get a piercing elbow?
06:19And he goes, oh, I never done that.
06:22Excited. And I went there.
06:23And he did that before.
06:24In case.
06:25He tested on himself. Yeah, yeah.
06:27This guy.
06:28And he also gave me the voucher.
06:30It's called a weenus piercing.
06:39Weenus. This bit.
06:41Is that skin there called your weenus?
06:42You said weenus.
06:43All right, well, we need some scores now.
06:47So we're looking for weird things to be found up your sleeve.
06:50And I think straight away, I think finding cards up a sleeve
06:52is probably really obvious.
06:53So one point to Tommy Little.
06:54OK.
06:55Lisa said that she had flushable wipes.
06:57So that's, I reckon, the second most obvious thing.
06:59So two points to Lisa.
07:01Three points to Husey, because it would be surprising to find out
07:04that he wasn't a loser, he was a winner.
07:07Thanks!
07:07And then I'm going to give four points to Emma,
07:12because I think seagull who's fall out of a sleeve would be very weird.
07:16But I'm a bit weirded out just by Waka's effort,
07:19by going and getting his weenus beard.
07:21Five points to Waka!
07:25All right.
07:26Good to get the weirdness of the show finished.
07:28Time for something totally normal.
07:30Eureka!
07:31Is what Archimedes would say if you got a load of this next task.
07:37I feel like I'm on The Bachelor, you know?
07:52More tasks?
07:53Mm-hmm.
07:54I missed it.
07:54I miss tasks now.
07:55Oh.
07:56I'm task addiction now.
07:57Wow.
07:58I can't wait.
07:59Yours look cheeky.
08:02Always a compliment.
08:03Get the ping pong ball out of the bath.
08:08You cannot touch or cross the rope.
08:11Nothing you are holding can touch water.
08:15Fastest wins.
08:17Your time starts now.
08:21I love that.
08:22Nothing I'm holding can touch water.
08:24That's just impossible.
08:26I have been set up to fail here,
08:27and that is disappointing, because I want to be a winner.
08:30It feels like it's only just dawning on you now that all the tasks are stacked against you.
08:41But how did I go?
08:45Are you doing your own cliffhangers?
08:49Seriously, I can't remember how it went.
08:52All right.
08:53Well, let's get on with it.
08:54All right.
08:54The first contestants to Ball, Bath & Beyond are Dave and Emma.
08:57I need a long stick and sticky tape.
08:59Sticky tape and a stick.
09:00Sticky tape and a stick.
09:02I'm going to win this.
09:04I've got long things and duct tape.
09:06I feel like if I can get above it with the duct tape, I could maybe get it to stick to it.
09:10I can't go over there, can I?
09:11No.
09:14I need a longer stick.
09:15Long enough, do you reckon?
09:19I might need one more thing.
09:20Shit, I feel like I'm a guy.
09:25Careful.
09:27I just think I'm going to touch the water if I do that.
09:32All right, shit.
09:33That's long enough, isn't it?
09:34It needs one more thing.
09:36Have you ever had a woman run at you with a golf club before?
09:39Never.
09:40I've had one run away.
09:42That sounded worse than I intended it.
09:44Tom.
09:44Mom.
09:56Ah!
09:57That's not what you're doing.
10:00Is that it?
10:01That's it?
10:02I'm out!
10:02I'm a house!
10:12Do you want this?
10:13Do I want this?
10:14Yeah.
10:15No, thank you.
10:16Okay.
10:17That could have been the high point of my whole series.
10:19And it's high point.
10:20It was a clear dip.
10:21A clear dip?
10:22We're done.
10:23Hmm.
10:24Of course it is.
10:25Alright.
10:26So, Emma, that was very good.
10:32It felt like textbook ping pong no water touchy.
10:35Were you pleased with your efforts?
10:37I really thought I'd touch the water a few times.
10:40I was very, very strict.
10:41Because you can't really see over the...
10:43The angle I was...
10:44Tom, you're not listening to me.
10:45The angle I was at, the rim of the bath was covering my line of sight,
10:51so I couldn't actually see what I was touching
10:53and I kind of just had to go by, like, feel.
10:55Yeah, it's pretty impressive, Hughesy.
10:57Read about it.
10:58There's sort of Matrix bullshit going on here.
11:01I like the moment, Hughesy, when you ran up the hill
11:04and you yelled out, sticky tape and a stick,
11:06to all the crew who didn't give a shit.
11:08I wasn't happy with how I ran then.
11:11I ran a lot during the series, so I'm going to be disappointed a lot.
11:14Hughesy, at one point you said you feel like your MacGyver.
11:17Is that because you also felt like an out-of-date reference?
11:20Yeah, look, MacGyver was a great show.
11:22You can probably see it on Netflix, do you reckon?
11:24Or Paramount, I would say. Go for Paramount.
11:30Paramount Plus, well worth every cent you pay.
11:36So Hughesy was on track to beat Emma when he did a dip as clear as day.
11:39Emma, with her golf club, taped to a stick, taped to a pinwheel,
11:42took 11 minutes and 16 seconds.
11:45Alright.
11:46Time to go to a break because nothing says cliffhanger like Hughesy
11:50mistakenly dipping the tip.
11:51Stay tuned.
11:52Welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:53The competition is still young and some floaters need a saving. Right, Tom?
11:58That's right.
11:59Our contestants are trying to knock a ping pong ball out of the bath.
12:04They're not allowed to cross the rope or touch water with anything they're holding.
12:07Next up, like all the most uncomfortable baths, we've got three at once.
12:10It's Lisa, Tommy and Waka.
12:11I'm just going to get an oar and tip the bar.
12:12Oh, eh?
12:13Yes?
12:14I think I'm going to win.
12:15Nothing you are holding can touch the water.
12:16Okay.
12:17I was thinking to put buckets or water, put more water, the ball will be...
12:22Oh, you mother...
12:24It's heavy in the water.
12:25It's heavy in the water.
12:26I'm just going to get a ball out of the bath.
12:27If you want to get a ball out of the bath, they're not allowed to cross the rope or touch
12:30water with anything they're holding.
12:31Next up, like all the most uncomfortable baths, we've got three at once.
12:32It's Lisa, Tommy and Waka.
12:33I'm just going to get an oar and tip the bar, but...
12:34Oh, eh?
12:35Yes?
12:36I think I'm going to win.
12:37Nothing you are holding can touch the water.
12:38Okay.
12:39I was thinking to put buckets or water, put more water, the ball will be...
12:42Oh, you mother...
12:43It's heavier than I thought.
12:44Oh, I'm missing that.
12:45Okay.
12:46Oh, that mist.
12:47I just don't want to break anything.
12:50I've lost my tyre.
13:09Watch out.
13:12Oh.
13:13Pretty good.
13:14Ah.
13:15Quite an attachment to this tyre.
13:28I mean, we could be here a while.
13:33Oh.
13:34Oh.
13:35Oh.
13:36Oh.
13:37Oh.
13:38Oh.
13:39All right.
13:40Calm down.
13:41Calm down?
13:42Me.
13:43I just took it myself.
13:44Oh.
13:45Breathe.
13:46Hey, Waka.
13:47Don't talk.
13:48Okay.
13:49I think...
13:53I'm going to back to water again.
13:54Okay.
13:55I mean, I could have a go on that tyre.
14:01I couldn't get the first one in, so what says that I'm going to get this one in?
14:07Oh.
14:08Oh.
14:09Come on.
14:10It's impossible.
14:11I'm having a great day with my throwing.
14:12Oh.
14:13Oh.
14:14Come on.
14:18It's impossible.
14:19I'm having a great day with my throwing.
14:25Oh.
14:26All right.
14:27Come on.
14:30It's moving?
14:34How about...
14:35If you put something heavy through the water.
14:38I feel like...
14:40Maybe I should just throw that tyre at it.
14:42Up to you.
14:43Okay.
14:46Be careful, everyone.
14:53Hey!
14:54Yes!
14:55Do you think you've beaten the others?
15:10I doubt it.
15:11Three.
15:12Two.
15:13One.
15:14One.
15:15One.
15:16One.
15:17One.
15:18One.
15:19One.
15:20One.
15:21One.
15:22One.
15:23One.
15:24One.
15:25One.
15:26One.
15:27One.
15:28One.
15:29One.
15:30One.
15:31One.
15:32I got so sore for my body because I run so much the water passed
15:37Well, we like to pretend this shows clever and rewards lateral thinking and being intelligent
15:42But sometimes it's just fun watching people throw heavy shit into a bar
15:46What were you thinking Tommy with the records were you just trying to fling it out? Yeah?
15:49I thought I was channeling Xena warrior princess and I
15:54Was so agonizingly close about 4,000 times. I did like the way that you chiseled away the plug hole for a while
16:00What did that come to nothing? Yeah
16:02But also plugs often have a little grate at the bottom of it
16:05So you could have drained the whole bath and then the ping-pong would have been sitting at the bottom of the bath
16:09Thank God we didn't get to that
16:14Now Lisa I feel like your tire spotting skills were not no I was trying to create a tidal wave
16:21Yeah, it just took a while
16:23Bad I didn't need my glasses on
16:25Okay
16:27Can I just say I took a promo shot in that bath later on in the series so yeah, nude
16:34And the relevance of that was well check the Daily Mail
16:38And Hughes when you were in the bath nude was everyone throwing tires at you trying to get you out?
16:43I feel like we need some results here some scores
16:51Well, Lisa took six minutes and ten seconds
16:54Oh my god, I'm close
16:55Tommy took just five seconds more six minutes and 15 seconds
16:59Waka spent 19 minutes just running back and forth filling up buckets of water and in total took 31 minutes and 34 seconds
17:07Okay, so Hughes is disqualified
17:13That's right, Hughes is on zero
17:14Waka gets two points
17:15Emma takes home three
17:16Tommy gets four but Lisa wins the task with five points
17:19Oh my god
17:19I won a task
17:22And in terms of the episode Dave and Tommy are trailing the pack on three and five with Emma, Lisa and Waka all on seven points apiece
17:30All right
17:34With that all washed away we better get to the next one Cashman
17:37This task will be unfamiliar to Tom Gleeson's loyal fans because unlike nothing sus this is about encouraging a medium amount of susness
17:44How are you so many cushions again so many cushions unnecessary
18:06I apologize
18:07Don't worry
18:08Pineapple
18:09Yeah
18:10Is it real or fake?
18:11Real
18:12Is it?
18:14Real
18:14All right
18:17Just do it man
18:18Do something sus but not too sus with this pineapple
18:22Most sus loses
18:25Least sus get two points
18:27Second least sus gets three points
18:29Second most sus gets four points
18:32Middle most sus wins
18:34You have 20 minutes
18:35Your time starts now
18:37Do you do many things that are sus?
18:39Not with a pineapple
18:40I'm a bit sus
18:42According to my wife I'm a bit sneaky
18:43I don't think I'm a sus person
18:45You're not the least sus person
18:47Yeah that's Malala
18:48I'm just trying to work out who I think would do the most sus
18:51What the others would do
18:52But the year I don't know how wild Lisa McCune is
18:55Because she might be like well everyone's going to shove this up their ass
18:58So and what do it twice
19:00How do you do it twice?
19:04There will be others who are better at this than me
19:06Those with more sick minds
19:08Well I mean we're all thinking it
19:10I'm going to say it
19:12Up my ass
19:13This is already the second time in this series that Tommy Little's solution has been to jam something
19:23up his ass
19:24All right well who do we have first Lester Tom?
19:27Our first sus attempt to sus out is Emma Holland
19:30Hello welcome to my nice and normal shop
19:32It's so wholesome here
19:33Oh hi Tom
19:37Sorry customer
19:38I'm just here to do my weekly shopping
19:41Well let me just start checking that out for you
19:42Is it just me or there's a weird energy around here?
19:46I don't know what you're talking about
19:47Does anyone want to buy me cigarettes?
19:51Oh hey Tom
19:52Welcome to my wholesome skate park where nothing sus happens
19:55How's it going?
19:56Are you doing well with the kickflips?
19:57Yeah I'm doing ollies
19:58Oh that's fantastic
19:59Yep
20:00Is it just me?
20:01Is there a bit of a weird energy around here?
20:03I don't know what you're talking about
20:04You guys don't have any cigarettes do you?
20:08Welcome to border security
20:10Do you have anything to declare?
20:11No
20:12There's something strange
20:13I'm getting a strange energy from you
20:14I don't know what you're talking about
20:16I'm getting Siggy's duty free
20:19Emma I feel like you're going for real medium level sus energy there
20:29Do you think you achieved it?
20:30I don't know
20:31Tom just was like what's the most sus you can think of
20:33And I said loitering outside a shopping centre
20:35Yeah but that's some real mid-level susness
20:39But it's still sus though
20:42And is that not what we are trying to achieve here?
20:45Yeah I was pretty impressed by it
20:48The only thing I'm concerned about is technically
20:50Were you doing something sus with a pineapple
20:52Or was a pineapple being sus near you?
20:55Maybe you weren't being sus at all
20:56That's all linguistics
20:58I think what's important is how you feel
21:00And let's refer back to the previous 30 seconds
21:03So I shouldn't use logic or the rules
21:07I should just go on how I feel
21:09Absolutely
21:10The way women do
21:11Well like an idiot would say to their way hotter girlfriend
21:20Right before going backpacking
21:22We need to go on a break
21:23See you after this
21:24Welcome back to Taskmaster
21:38Where competitors are trying to be sus
21:40But not the most sus
21:41Yeah also not the least sus
21:43They're trying to be medium amount of sus
21:45Medium
21:46Medium level of susness
21:47Grouped as two together
21:49Because they have one track minds
21:50It's Dave and Tommy
21:51I'm just going to end up
21:54Sticking a pineapple down my pants
21:56Can I put it down the front of my pants
21:58Just going to put it in your pants
22:00And go for a wonder
22:01Wonder around and see if anyone notices
22:02Let's see if you notice
22:03Do you want to play a game?
22:05Sure
22:05Let's play pineapple pants parachute
22:07You want me to put a parachute on it?
22:09Yeah
22:09Okay
22:09Um let's go
22:11What are we going to do this afternoon?
22:19I've got a problem
22:20I don't think I can get my pants open enough
22:22What's the solution?
22:24The parachute pineapple penis drop
22:26And I'll just lie down
22:27And you just drop it on my penis
22:28Okay you've got 22 seconds
22:29Okay hang on
22:30I'm going to guess
22:31No pineapple
22:32Am I correct?
22:36Are you being genuine right now?
22:38Yep
22:38What's the answer?
22:43Is it down your pants or not?
22:46Oh no
22:47I need to wax
22:48It was
22:50Okay
22:51Pineapple
22:52Penis drop
22:53Go
22:54Pineapple penis drop go
22:56Pineapple penis drop go
22:58Oh
22:59How are you feeling?
23:08You okay?
23:10I wasn't I suppose expecting to say this
23:12But could you do me another round?
23:14Okay
23:15I was quite proud of how accurate I was to be honest
23:18What are you saying the target wasn't big?
23:21I wasn't saying that
23:22But your insecurity in that area
23:24Makes me think that perhaps it wasn't
23:25I think it's down my pants
23:36You're standing in quite a strange way now
23:38I suspect that that's because you're trying to make it now look like you do have something down your pants
23:42I'm going to again guess that you don't have a pineapple down your pants
23:45That's your final guess?
23:47That's my final guess
23:47It's still down my pants man
23:50I've been an absolute fool
23:53I think I've won this game
23:54Thanks Tom
23:56Thanks Tommy
23:57Pusey and Tommy you've both done a lot of commercial radio
24:06And I feel like you both went for the most obvious things straight away
24:10But I feel like there's almost nothing suss about yours at all Tommy
24:14It just felt like it had jackass vibes
24:15Yes it did
24:17And can I just say contrary to popular belief
24:19It did not make my taste sweeter
24:21So
24:22Wow
24:25Wow
24:27Have you had that joke in your back pocket for about two months?
24:33I just thought of it but I got nervous to say it
24:35Did you have any protection?
24:37I mean that was a very dangerous thing to do honestly
24:39Yes Husey I was wearing a condom the whole time
24:41Alright so I feel like yours wasn't very suss at all Tommy to be fair
24:49But Husey just you walking out from behind a garden shed
24:53With no pineapple in your pants
24:54Really suss
24:56So suss
24:57Yeah I don't know what happened to the pineapple
24:59I think it might have ended up being eaten
25:01And I hope it was because
25:02You know what?
25:04Wasting food is a sin
25:05So
25:06I reckon what you did to that pineapple was a sin
25:08And that's a superfood
25:11You know that
25:11Okay let's see the next one
25:17Least familiar with the slang word
25:19But all too familiar with the concept
25:20It's Takashi Wakasugi
25:22Thank you so much for coming
25:24Thank you
25:24Thank you
25:25Last night
25:26The giraffe
25:27Got killed
25:28By someone
25:29Murder
25:30Who was hit by something
25:31Something hard
25:32Wow
25:33In this house
25:33Only five animals
25:35One of these
25:36Yeah
25:37Characters
25:38Yeah
25:38Committed the murder
25:39I think so
25:39Also
25:40Next to the giraffe
25:41There's something like this
25:42Oh these are the potential weapons
25:44Yeah
25:44Who did that
25:46And what's the weapon
25:49Who has to guess
25:49Us
25:51Okay
25:51I'm a detective
25:52You can see
25:54Jacket
25:55I'm doing suss or I'm
25:57You're a suspect
26:02I was there
26:03I think I was there too
26:03What a switch
26:04I didn't see that coming
26:06The person is very dangerous
26:07Angry person
26:08We found blood
26:11This is the weapon
26:12Killed of giraffe
26:13Did you do that?
26:14No I swear
26:15Did you do it?
26:16No
26:16No
26:17Don't suss
26:18I do suss
26:18Oh sorry
26:19You doing suss?
26:20I got sussed
26:22By you
26:22I'm not sure what you're saying
26:24Me neither
26:24Wait
26:25Oh my goodness
26:28That's a bit of blood
26:29On the end of the robot
26:30It's open and shut
26:32Yeah
26:32Robot
26:33Did you do this?
26:34Let's find out
26:35Last night
26:36Is this a recreation?
26:38Yeah
26:38I think I was there too
26:40The person is very dangerous
26:42Angry person
26:43Did you do it?
26:45No
26:46No
26:46Shit
26:47We found blood
26:49It's open and shut
26:51Yeah
26:52Was that a recreation of you doing it?
26:57I still don't know what is suss
26:58But
26:59That's why I did it both
27:00I
27:01Did suss
27:02And I got sussed
27:03Sorry we've got 20 seconds left
27:04Can you please clarify who did the crime?
27:08Me
27:08So Waka
27:16You said you did suss
27:18And you got sussed
27:19That's a
27:20I still don't understand
27:22What is suss means
27:23Yeah well you
27:24What's a sussie people?
27:25Well in Australian slang
27:27Suss is short for suspicious
27:29Yeah
27:29You get suspicion
27:31Or you will
27:32Suspicion
27:32Dodgy
27:33You're dodgy
27:33You're like
27:34You're dodgy
27:35Hey man come on
27:37Come on
27:37Jesus
27:39Yeah I feel like it was the first whodunit
27:42Where we were trying to figure out
27:43Who was the culprit
27:44And who was the detective
27:46I got so confused
27:50I thought it was so clever
27:53I loved it
27:54I loved it
27:54And I still don't know what is suss yet
27:56I felt like I was watching a thriller
27:58When you sat down
27:59I'm like oh my god
28:00Alright well
28:02Who's next Cashman?
28:03Probably the least likely to act suss
28:05Thank god she's good at acting
28:06It's Lisa McCune
28:07Oh my god
28:08Miss Penelope
28:10Master Tom
28:12Thank you for calling me a master
28:14I'm here because I'm a gentleman caller
28:16And I'm interested in your hand
28:17As a lady I can't actually come out
28:20And tell you how much I love you
28:21I mean I didn't say that
28:22But I admire you
28:24Oh
28:25And I've been thinking how I could signify it for you
28:28To show you how much I care
28:29Oh that'd be great
28:31Oh my god
28:35Is that a pineapple?
28:37Don't let anybody see
28:39Of course not
28:39It's been between my legs
28:41It's for you to eat
28:42Oh
28:42Bit intense but I appreciate it
28:45Someone's coming
28:46I must be off
28:47Oh my god
28:56He didn't do that to my pineapple
28:59It unfortunately was the same pineapple
29:02Oh no
29:04That is just so bad
29:07I got a visual on that
29:08It was not good
29:09So Lisa
29:11The suss action was
29:12That you had a pineapple between your legs
29:14Yeah
29:15But I find you so wholesome
29:16That even when you said that
29:17I thought that sounds reasonable
29:18She was probably keeping it
29:19I could think of no other connotations
29:23I didn't think of it like that
29:23I thought the pearl necklace and everything
29:25Was really suss
29:26I thought that there were other things going on
29:29That is the most rich lady thing I've ever heard in my life
29:33I'm trying
29:34I'm just trying to get some points
29:35So I think it's going to be easier for me
29:39If I just work through order of sussness
29:41And then we allocate the points afterwards
29:42So these aren't the points
29:43But I think the least suss had to be wakka
29:45Because he didn't even know what suss meant
29:47I watch everything and I still don't get it
29:49Yeah well there you go
29:50And then I'm going to say
29:51Lisa McCune is a second least suss
29:54I'm saying the most suss is Dave Hughes
29:56Just him lurking near any building looks suss straight up
29:58The second most suss is Emma
30:00The pineapple looking for cigarettes was really quite suss in the end
30:03But weirdly enough landing right in the middle
30:05Just by a process of elimination
30:10Is Tommy Little
30:11So Dave Hughes was most suss so he gets one point
30:21Micah gets two points
30:22Don't try and start your own applause
30:24Lisa gets three
30:26Emma gets four
30:27But Tommy takes the task for five points
30:28Okay
30:30Things are spicing up
30:32So use this break to crack out the yoghurt
30:34See you in a bit
30:35Welcome back to Taskmaster
30:48The show that's tremendous for the viewer
30:51Turbulent for the players
30:52And tedious for me
30:53We've seen it all so far Cashman
30:56That's right we've rescued a ping pong ball from a bath
30:58And a pineapple from Dave Hughes' pants
31:00Now we're off to a warehouse
31:03That will have you asking where is the house
31:05It's our first ever journey to a different location
31:33Hi Tommy
31:37Hey Tom
31:38Hi Lisa
31:39Hi Tom
31:41How are you?
31:42I'm okay
31:43This is a big room
31:45It feels like the final scene in like a drug movie or something
31:49I can't tell you how much I love opening these
31:54Move a box over the red line
31:56Each turn you must hide behind a box
32:01If Tom guesses the box you're behind
32:03All boxes must be returned to the start
32:06If Tom fails to guess the box you're behind
32:09You may move your boxes forward
32:11The number of box moves you can make
32:14Is the row number of the box you successfully hid behind
32:18Once a box is past the red line
32:21You must deceive Tom one more time
32:24Least hidings to get a box over the line wins
32:27Your time starts now
32:31Okay okay great
32:32That's so much fun
32:33Okay let the hiding begin
32:36Alright we're at a new location there which I love
32:41But just to get this right
32:43It's a benefit to hide behind a box in row five
32:46Because then you get to move the box five places
32:49That's right
32:50But at the same time
32:51You're going to more likely guess that they're there
32:53Because they're going to go for that advantage
32:54Unless they're double tricking
32:56Okay
32:56Then the mind games begin
32:57Okay Lisa Tom
32:59Who's sneaking around first?
33:01Like a well endowed cricketer
33:02They're hoping a box will be enough to protect them
33:04It's Emma, Lisa and Tommy
33:06I'm going to choose to involve mind games as well
33:10I'm going to hide behind this box here
33:13Five
33:13Four
33:15Three
33:16Two
33:17One
33:18I officially predict that you are behind the a bit left box
33:21The middle box
33:24No
33:24The extreme left box
33:26I'm going to hide behind this box again
33:32The a bit left box
33:33Damn it
33:34The extreme right box
33:36Damn it
33:37The middle box
33:38That's incorrect
33:39You can now move two spaces
33:41Oh
33:42I'm going to hide behind the middle box
33:44The middle box
33:45How did you do it?
33:47The extreme left box
33:49How are you so good at this?
33:53I'm in your head Emma
33:54I'm going to hide behind the middle box
33:56The middle box
33:57Damn it
33:58The middle box
33:59I just need you to know
34:02If you guessed right on this one
34:03I might have a breakdown
34:04I predict you are behind the a bit left box
34:07Tom
34:09The extreme right box
34:11The extreme right box
34:11What?
34:12The a bit right box
34:14What the?
34:15The a bit right box
34:17The middle box
34:20The extreme right box
34:24You are behind the a bit right box
34:29No
34:30I was correct
34:31Please move all boxes back to the start
34:33I thought you said the extreme right
34:35Sorry
34:36That was me getting a bit cross
34:38Are you ready for the next hiding?
34:39Yeah
34:40Let's go
34:40Congratulations
34:42You've got a box over the line
34:49You must deceive me one final time
34:52Five
34:54Four
34:56Three
34:57Two
35:00One
35:01I heard what I would describe as performative footsteps
35:04Does this mean you're in the middle box?
35:07You are behind the a bit left box
35:09Which one?
35:11Not that one
35:12Yes
35:13Yes
35:14Yes
35:15The a bit left box
35:17You idiot
35:18Yes
35:20I'm going to predict
35:21That you are behind
35:23The a bit right box
35:25Let me out of here
35:30This task looks very stressful
35:37Yeah
35:38Which I really enjoyed
35:39But let's just start with the Tommy Little mind games
35:42Your mind game was you kept telling him when you were going to hide
35:47And then you kept doing it
35:48Several times in a row
35:51Yes
35:51Talk me through the mind games
35:53Because I thought he'd think at some point that I'd start lying to him
35:57But I would never
35:58And so I kept telling the truth
36:01And he kept guessing the truth
36:03Lisa
36:04Why do I feel like it's totally in character that you losing your temper was just softly pushing over a box
36:09And then straight away apologising for it
36:12Well because I didn't want to really lose it in front of Tom because I didn't want to scare him
36:16We were in a lonely warehouse with boxes
36:19I didn't want to scare him
36:20You didn't
36:22Emma you took your shoes off do you think that was the winning move?
36:28I just need you to know I hated every second of that
36:30I took my shoe off and put it just next to a box so you could just see my shoe to make Tom think I was behind another box
36:37And did you hide behind that box?
36:39Uh sometimes
36:40See Tommy?
36:40So sometimes yes sometimes no
36:45Not every single time
36:46Not every single time
36:47It's good to know now
36:48So we're measuring the number of hiding rounds
36:52Emma took 45 rounds for her to complete the game
36:56Tommy's mind games still took him 35 hiding rounds
37:00But Lisa only took 26 hidings
37:03Oh my god I found my calling
37:05Alright
37:06Cashman another
37:08He's already deceived me with pineapple in the pants
37:10Will he deceive me again?
37:11It's Husey
37:123
37:142
37:151
37:16I predict you are behind the middle box
37:19Ah
37:20The middle box
37:243
37:272
37:271
37:28The extreme right box
37:30The a bit right box
37:34I'm a bit left aren't I?
37:36Good
37:37The middle box
37:38Ah
37:39Yeah
37:41Wow
37:41What a lovely box that would be to hide behind
37:44Are you going to do it on the next round?
37:46I honestly don't know right now
37:48Let the hiding begin
37:493
37:512
37:521
37:53I predict
37:54That you are hiding behind the extreme left box
37:57Ah
38:00You did it
38:03I'm over
38:04I need to do it one more time
38:063
38:072
38:081
38:09I'm turning around
38:10I predict you are behind
38:12The a bit left box
38:161
38:171
38:181
38:192
38:201
38:212
38:221
38:232
38:241
38:252
38:261
38:272
38:282
38:292
38:303
38:313
38:323
38:333
38:343
38:353
38:364
38:373
38:384
38:394
38:405
38:415
38:424
38:435
38:445
38:454
38:465
38:475
38:485
38:495
38:505
38:516
38:525
38:535
38:546
38:556
38:566
38:576
38:587
38:597
39:007
39:017
39:028
39:038
39:058
39:068
39:078
39:088
39:098
39:108
39:119
39:129
39:139
39:1410
39:1510
39:1610
39:1710
39:1811
39:1910
39:2010
39:2111
39:2211
39:2312
39:2412
39:2512
39:2612
39:2712
39:2813
39:2914
39:3015
39:3115
39:3215
39:33That's right, we've just got one left and it's waka.
39:363
39:372
39:381
39:39I predict you are behind the extreme right box.
39:44It's so much fun, I like it.
39:45Can I do this?
39:46The a bit right box.
39:49This is a great idea, doing this.
39:51I don't see how it changes much, to be honest.
39:53The middle box.
39:55Oh, why you can't find it? It's like, five options.
39:58The extreme right box.
40:00Yeah, I love it.
40:02I'm enjoying it.
40:03You are behind the middle box.
40:05That's crazy.
40:07The entire pants, behind the middle box.
40:10The middle box.
40:11Am I stupid or are you just amazing?
40:16Those options are not mutually exclusive.
40:18You are behind the a bit right box.
40:19Sorry.
40:22The extreme left box.
40:23You have two box moves.
40:24Two?
40:25Why?
40:26The number of box moves you get is the row that the box is on.
40:29Ah!
40:30Yeah.
40:31I was behind the number two.
40:32The extreme right box.
40:33The middle box.
40:34The extreme right box.
40:35The middle box.
40:36The extreme right box.
40:37The a bit right box.
40:38The extreme left box.
40:39That makes me scared, actually.
40:40You know.
40:41I was surprised.
40:42But now I'm scared.
40:43The ebbit right box.
40:54The middle box.
40:55Now, finally, I understand this task.
41:02the extreme right box, the middle box.
41:05Now, finally, I understand this task.
41:09You're behind the a bit right box.
41:14Please take all boxes back to the start.
41:20Nothing much I can say anymore.
41:22Three, two, one.
41:33I'm turning around.
41:35I saw the socks being thrown.
41:37You're behind the extreme left box.
41:40That's genuinely amazing.
41:42I'm turning around.
41:43The a bit left box.
41:46Yes, socks is the best.
41:50You're behind the middle box.
42:04The a bit left box.
42:05The extreme right box.
42:07The a bit right box.
42:09Oh, I accidentally said a bit right box.
42:11I meant a bit left box, but oh my God, I was right.
42:16The middle box.
42:17The middle box.
42:18And the extreme left box.
42:23One, two, three.
42:26You must deceive me one more time.
42:28Thank you so much for this task.
42:30Don't talk like it's over, Wakka.
42:31This is final box.
42:34Three, two, one.
42:39Where are you, Wakka?
42:40I predict you are behind the middle box.
42:46I predict you're behind the middle box.
42:49I predict you are behind the middle box.
42:57I
43:15Warker that was exhausting to watch me too. Oh
43:19It's fun task and the first everyone I enjoy the kids game and the middle I start thinking about what is life?
43:27So with that last one was your heart racing? I didn't feel anything
43:38There's no emotion just no emotion. I did everything my life like experience knowledge everything I tried it and
43:47Didn't work so I didn't feel anything
43:52All right, well, I feel like we need to find out how he did Warker took a hundred and three rounds and one hour
43:5735 minutes and 51 seconds
44:02So Warker takes one point Emma gets two Tommy gets three Lisa gets four but Husey takes out the task with five points
44:10And in terms of our episode it's close at the top of the leaderboard with Tommy and Emma on 13 points
44:16But one luckier it's Lisa leading the episode with 14 points at the moment
44:19Oh
44:21Wow, well no time for what a level mucking around. Let's get you all up on stage for the live task
44:32All right, let's the Tom set the scene I think I'm gonna ask Emma to read this task
44:36My olives
44:48Do some acting
44:50Interns choose a scene from a trophy then act it out the two most brilliant actors and the two most terrible actors will proceed to the next round
44:59You get ten seconds for each scene so I'm gonna ask Lisa to act first if the other four of you could please
45:04sit down here
45:07Okay
45:09I said it I said it
45:20Emma you're up next
45:23Well howdy partner you come down this saloon often
45:26Tommy what no no he's not mine no he doesn't this happens all the time he's not mine
45:44Walker is next
45:51I love you
45:56Oh
45:58This martini is
46:00so
46:01nice
46:05So maybe you want some
46:15I would say that Lisa was the best
46:17Waka was second best the two worst was Tommy and Dave
46:21That means Emma is eliminated
46:26And now for round two only the most brilliant and the most terrible acting will go through Tommy you are the first actor
46:31Come on papa needs this
46:33Come on
46:34Come on
46:35Yes
46:36Yes
46:36Diddy
46:36Diddy
46:37Diddy
46:37Diddy
46:38Diddy
46:39Diddy
46:39Diddy
46:40Diddy
46:41Diddy
46:41Diddy
46:42Diddy
46:43Diddy
46:43Diddy
46:44Diddy
46:45Diddy
46:46Diddy
46:47Diddy
46:48Diddy
46:49Diddy
46:50Diddy
46:51Diddy
46:52Diddy
46:53Diddy
46:54Diddy
46:56I believe that that man is not the man who you want leading this nation
47:02nation.
47:06Dave. Hmm, what should I buy today? Young man, can you help me? Can you? Is it? Is it?
47:15Is it Jimmy? I am your father!
47:22So, it's pretty easy for me. Lisa's at the top, Hughes is at the bottom.
47:25Waka and Tommy are eliminated.
47:31Alright, we've seen a lot of acting up there on the stage. I feel like I've been part of the theatre. See you after the interval.
47:48Welcome back to Taskmaster. We're in the throes of witnessing some Oscar-worthy and some Golden Raspberry-worthy performances.
47:55Tom, what have we got?
47:56For this, the final round, the person who wins will be the person who does the most terrible acting.
48:02Lisa, you are the first actor.
48:04Dave, he shot me in the back!
48:15Hughes, just be yourself.
48:18Come on, Jimmy! Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy!
48:26It's Daddy! Come to Daddy!
48:29Oh, my God!
48:32Oh, my God!
48:34Oh, my God!
48:39OK, come on down and let's get the final scores.
48:47Alright, so, who is cleaning up at the awards season for their acting lesser, Tom?
48:51Well, you have the unenviable task of choosing who is the worst actor, Lisa McCune or Dave Hughes?
48:57I suspect that Hughesy decided to try to act really well, and in so doing it, was horrible.
49:05So, I think the worst performance was Hughesy.
49:08OK.
49:13That means Emma takes one point, Waka and Tommy both get three, Lisa gets four, but Dave Hughes
49:17wins the task with five points.
49:19Yeah.
49:20That's two wins.
49:21Two wins, Hughesy.
49:22And what does that do for the whole episode?
49:24Well, Waka's on 13 points, Dave and Emma both on 14, Tommy on 16, but Lisa has won the episode
49:29with 18 points!
49:30Oh, my God!
49:31Woo!
49:33Alright, congrats, Lisa!
49:34Get up onto that stage to claim your prize!
49:39Well, what have we learnt?
49:40Waka taught us what a weenus is by mutilating his.
49:44And a poor pineapple learnt that even being a superfood won't save you from Hughesy's undies.
49:50Good work, Lisa!
49:52Don't forget to thank your agent and the Academy.
49:54Goodnight!
50:01Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we've just been hanging out with our wangs out.
50:17Can I pee, or...?
50:19Shit!
50:20You dickheads!
50:22Are you not entertained?!
50:25If you are on Reddit at the moment, you can all go yourself.