Dear Audrey 2021 full movie
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The following program is rated PG and may contain scenes of violence, nudity, coarse language and mature subject matter.
00:00:09Viewer discretion is advised.
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00:42:08We heard that there was an artist colony
00:42:10in a little village called Teppatslan.
00:42:14And we lived in a small hut for 5 1⁄2 months.
00:42:22So that was a kind of a paradise,
00:42:25but it came to a brutal end
00:42:27when we were driving on a dirt road one night.
00:42:32We were going a bit too fast.
00:42:37I didn't have a seat belt on.
00:42:40I'm not even sure there was a seat belt
00:42:42in the Volkswagens at that time.
00:42:46We hit a rock.
00:42:50So I went flying through the front window.
00:42:56Landed on my head, fractured both sides of my brain.
00:43:02Ended up unconscious for 10 days in a local hospital.
00:43:06I only had a 50% chance of surviving.
00:43:10I'll never forget the moment I got my conscience back.
00:43:13It was one of the most memorable things that ever happened to me.
00:43:17I woke up to a vision of the universe filled with a huge tree.
00:43:23It was a green tree just filling the whole universe.
00:43:27♪♪♪
00:43:38It was so large, coming out from the ground,
00:43:41it spreads out to include the whole universe,
00:43:44including all the people that exist,
00:43:46all the stars in the heavens,
00:43:48all the ideas that man ever had.
00:43:54And it was an inspiration.
00:43:55It's been with me ever since as an inspiration.
00:44:01How come I'm alive?
00:44:08I took the trees who mean a sign of welcome back to life.
00:44:14♪♪♪
00:44:21♪♪♪
00:44:31I'm going to close the door in case a bird flies out.
00:44:34Come here, copper, come here.
00:44:36Dad, come on.
00:44:37I'm going to close all the doors in case he gets out.
00:44:40Okay, we're ready.
00:44:41Hey, everybody, ladies and gentlemen.
00:44:43Here we go.
00:44:44Boys and girls, watch this.
00:44:48Here comes the action.
00:44:50Michael, you've got a new home.
00:44:56No.
00:44:57No, Dad, don't.
00:44:58Just leave him.
00:44:59Ha!
00:45:00He's a bungee.
00:45:01He flies free.
00:45:03Ha-ha!
00:45:08Who is this?
00:45:11Yee-haw!
00:45:13Ha-ha!
00:45:20♪♪♪
00:45:30♪♪♪
00:45:39♪♪♪
00:45:49It was the Vietnam War that brought us together.
00:45:55The Vietnam War movement, that's how we met.
00:46:01My second wife, Mary Ann, she went back to Sweden.
00:46:07The car accident I had in Mexico put an end to that marriage.
00:46:15At the height of the Vietnam War, 1971,
00:46:18my mother was president of the Voice of Women of Canada,
00:46:23an effective peace group.
00:46:25And they invited women from North Vietnam
00:46:29who were being bombed to death by American B-52s
00:46:33to come over to Toronto and meet women peace activists
00:46:37in North America.
00:46:38And one of those women was Audrey.
00:46:41♪♪♪
00:46:45So I was there with my camera, and Audrey was there with her camera.
00:46:48She was covering the conference
00:46:50for a weekly newspaper in New York at the time.
00:46:53♪♪♪
00:46:58Her political positions immediately impressed me.
00:47:02We were attracted to each other as photographers, of course.
00:47:06And she asked me if I knew a darkroom
00:47:09where she could develop her negatives.
00:47:11I said, well, the place I'm staying in Toronto
00:47:14happens to have a darkroom in it.
00:47:16So she came that night and developed her negatives.
00:47:19And we woke up in the same bed the next morning.
00:47:25♪♪♪
00:47:30I was lucky to find her at that point in my life
00:47:34where I was recovering from my accident
00:47:36and just getting started again on a new career.
00:47:39But she didn't want to be independent on me.
00:47:42She wanted to be an independent woman.
00:47:44-♪♪♪
00:47:50So she took off her camera, headed straight to Birmingham
00:47:54to cover the civil rights movement there.
00:47:57-♪♪♪
00:48:04♪♪♪
00:48:09It was a very brave thing of Audrey
00:48:11to go down into that territory with her camera,
00:48:14which was dominated by the Ku Klux Klan.
00:48:18The Klan bumped Northern white activists off.
00:48:22♪♪♪
00:48:25She was fearless, taking pictures
00:48:27as she traveled all over the country.
00:48:30♪♪♪
00:48:33-♪♪♪
00:48:41Audrey was there.
00:48:42They had a great march on Washington
00:48:44where they arrested, what was it, a thousand people
00:48:47and threw them all in a sporting stadium,
00:48:50and you were one of them.
00:48:53-♪♪♪
00:48:58-♪♪♪
00:49:04It wasn't big enough jail to accommodate everybody.
00:49:10She likes my hairdo.
00:49:13-♪♪♪
00:49:17She did photos of G.I.s throwing their medals
00:49:20on the steps of the Congress.
00:49:23-♪♪♪
00:49:26Turning back all this crap.
00:49:28The bronze star in here, they gave it to me
00:49:31for killing 14 people, man.
00:49:34-♪♪♪
00:49:40-♪♪♪
00:49:46-♪♪♪
00:49:52Her main strength was her love of people.
00:49:56-♪♪♪
00:50:01People allowed her to come into intimate situations.
00:50:05-♪♪♪
00:50:10-♪♪♪
00:50:15-♪♪♪
00:50:19I was very attached to Audrey,
00:50:21but I also felt a marital obligation to Marianne.
00:50:25I was really torn.
00:50:26I was in love with Audrey,
00:50:27but here I was married to somebody else
00:50:32living in Stockholm.
00:50:34What am I going to do?
00:50:36Just about then is when I got this job
00:50:38from the film board to do a shoot in Bolivia.
00:50:42Before coming home, I wanted to see Machu Picchu.
00:50:45It was just the next country over.
00:50:49That's when Marianne had left for Sweden
00:50:53and I had met Audrey.
00:50:56So that...
00:50:58problem was raging in my mind and my heart
00:51:02when I camped out at Machu Picchu.
00:51:05-♪♪♪♪
00:51:10-♪♪♪♪
00:51:15-♪♪♪♪
00:51:20I slept up there under the stars,
00:51:23sleeping in the ruins.
00:51:25You could do with that back then.
00:51:29♪♪♪♪
00:51:33I said, okay, I'm going to decide here
00:51:36which way I'll go.
00:51:38♪♪♪♪
00:51:41And came to the conclusion
00:51:44I would have a much more secure
00:51:47and solid life with Audrey.
00:51:50♪♪♪♪
00:51:53Audrey was at that time in Albuquerque, New Mexico,
00:51:56doing some photography of G.I. veterans
00:51:59back from Vietnam.
00:52:01♪♪♪♪
00:52:04I took a train to Monterrey, Mexico.
00:52:08I had arranged with Audrey to meet me there.
00:52:11She came down by train, headed south,
00:52:13and I took a train headed north.
00:52:15♪♪♪♪
00:52:18We found a small village in the Sierra Madre Hills.
00:52:24She agreed to spend the rest of her life with me.
00:52:27We even decided that we wanted to have
00:52:30three children together.
00:52:34Decided to make our plans for spending our lives together.
00:52:38♪♪♪♪♪
00:52:47♪♪♪♪♪
00:52:52♪♪♪♪♪
00:52:58♪♪♪♪♪
00:53:02I have a total of 14 grandchildren.
00:53:07It's a privilege to feel that I'll be leaving
00:53:11behind some very creative successors.
00:53:16♪♪♪♪♪
00:53:20A nice shot.
00:53:22♪♪♪♪♪
00:53:30You got it.
00:53:32Okay, here we go.
00:53:35Okay, I'll hit it with my hands.
00:53:37Wait.
00:53:39♪♪♪♪♪
00:53:47♪♪♪♪♪
00:53:52♪♪♪♪♪
00:53:58♪♪♪♪♪
00:54:05♪♪♪♪♪
00:54:09Audrey and I had our first child, Daniel,
00:54:12a year and a half after we settled down in Montreal.
00:54:18Daniel turned out to be very conscious of who her mother was
00:54:22and wanted to follow her mother's examples.
00:54:26And Daniel was born as Audrey was beginning her career
00:54:29as a teacher of photography,
00:54:31and in the midst of her commitment
00:54:34to doing a large photo show of immigrant children.
00:54:38And those projects resulted in her having
00:54:41major exhibitions of her work.
00:54:55Audrey, she carried on teaching for 18 years
00:54:58until Jacqueline got evicted from the school she was in
00:55:02because she had ran away too often.
00:55:04The last time she ran away, she was missing for a week
00:55:07and found in a railway station.
00:55:09We weren't able to find a proper residence for Jacqueline,
00:55:12and so Audrey devoted the next 15 years of her life
00:55:16to looking after Jacqueline.
00:55:22From the time that Jacqueline was born,
00:55:24Daniel always behaved like a loving older sister.
00:55:28Helped us get through the most difficult times with Jacqueline.
00:55:35Come with us to the airport.
00:55:37Always concerned with social issues.
00:55:42Daniel chose as a career to be a health care researcher.
00:55:48Wanting to help the world, I think,
00:55:50maybe because of the experience that she had with Jacqueline.
00:56:04♪♪♪
00:56:14♪♪♪
00:56:24Audrey and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary.
00:56:28I proposed to Audrey many times over the years,
00:56:31but she said she didn't want to marry a guy who'd been divorced twice.
00:56:34So 25 years passed, and her parents were aging quite quickly,
00:56:39so she proposed to me.
00:56:41I said yes right away.
00:56:43She said, well, you have to go and get my father's approval.
00:56:47So I went to her father,
00:56:49said, well, I need to have a list of your belongings,
00:56:53some indication of security that you're going to provide for my daughter.
00:56:57So I gave him a list of what I thought was indication of security.
00:57:02Sounds like a real friendly guy.
00:57:04Yeah.
00:57:05So I listed the names of all my children, my grandchildren,
00:57:08an 18-speed bicycle,
00:57:11a dog, a cat, a rabbit, and two birds.
00:57:18And showed him the list, and he said, okay, I approve.
00:57:23Yeah.
00:57:25Yeah.
00:57:50I'm a very busy man.
00:57:55You're strange.
00:57:59Look, he's riding a Yamaha motorcycle.
00:58:03Little, little...
00:58:05What was it?
00:58:06Little Nicky.
00:58:07Little Nicky?
00:58:11These are pictures that Audrey took of our son
00:58:14when he was two or three years old, eh, hon?
00:58:18Yeah, probably.
00:58:22Who is this one?
00:58:25Doesn't he look like Nicky?
00:58:27Nicky, yeah.
00:58:31He was in such misery.
00:58:33Who?
00:58:34Nicky.
00:58:35His daddy was too busy taking his picture
00:58:37instead of lifting him up on his lap.
00:58:45Nicholas is my favourite son.
00:58:50I have seven children.
00:58:52I had six daughters and then a son.
00:58:56I had to be very careful not to show prevalence for him
00:59:01as a father of six other daughters.
00:59:04I think I covered that up pretty well.
00:59:07What are you doing?
00:59:09Blowing up a balloon.
00:59:13Oh, dear.
00:59:16He treats me really beautifully.
00:59:22Takes good care of my financial and emotional needs.
00:59:28The only complaint we have about him is that
00:59:31he doesn't have much time to see us
00:59:33because he's an emergency doctor at the new hospital.
00:59:37Works very long hours.
00:59:39And then what hours he has left,
00:59:41he likes to devote to his newfound partner.
00:59:47Which is what he should do.
00:59:50I've witnessed the birth of four of my seven children.
00:59:54The most amazing thing of all is the birth of a child.
00:59:58It makes you aware that there's some kind of
01:00:02divine creative energy out there
01:00:06keeping us going.
01:00:20One, two, three, go!
01:00:23Happy birthday to you!
01:00:28Happy birthday to you!
01:00:33Happy birthday, dear Nini!
01:00:39Happy birthday to you!
01:00:45Bravo!
01:00:48Here is the good memories from a little boy until now.
01:00:55So may I introduce to you
01:00:59a beginning without end.
01:01:02Photos by Audrey Schirmer for a birthday along the way.
01:01:08From mom and dad.
01:01:11From mom and dad.
01:01:27For the rest of your life.
01:01:40No, I actually have good memories.
01:02:41Shit.
01:02:51What's the matter?
01:02:53It's slippery.
01:02:55It's slippery.
01:02:57There, you look great.
01:03:27Ha ha ha.
01:03:29It was two weeks ago today.
01:03:59At three in the afternoon.
01:04:08We were on our way out.
01:04:12She was in the front lobby, I was in the bedroom.
01:04:15And I heard a terrible scream.
01:04:18She screamed and fell to the floor.
01:04:23And dashed and I saw her crumpled on the floor.
01:04:31Trying desperately to breathe.
01:04:37Most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life.
01:04:48I thought she was dying.
01:04:50All the time breathing, choking on her breath.
01:04:53Body completely stiffened.
01:04:55A horrible sight.
01:05:04Okay, Audrey, my dear.
01:05:06Lunchtime.
01:05:08Audrey, my dear, lunchtime.
01:05:10Dad, dad, dad.
01:05:11What?
01:05:12Let me do it, I can do it.
01:05:13Oh yeah, you do it.
01:05:14I can do it.
01:05:15All right.
01:05:16It's lunchtime.
01:05:17Okay.
01:05:19And thank God the paramedics were there within ten minutes.
01:05:24I had to help them move the body, move the body so they could lift her up and get her in a stretcher.
01:05:33It took her an hour to get her conscious back in the hospital.
01:05:37By which time Nicholas was able to assure me that she wasn't dying, that it was an epileptic seizure.
01:05:44I got her juice.
01:05:45Oh, you got her halfway up?
01:05:47Yep.
01:05:48Okay.
01:05:49She's lost her capacity to speak and to recognize people, so all that disappeared with the seizure.
01:05:57Come, mama, come.
01:05:59Me and your husband is helping you.
01:06:02I've got your juice.
01:06:04She looks as if she's dead, really.
01:06:07She just walks bent over and just almost has a hard time walking and never raises her head and never says anything.
01:06:17Looks as if she's reached the end.
01:06:37There we go.
01:06:38Okay, my dear.
01:06:39There we go.
01:06:40Up you get.
01:06:41Up you get.
01:06:42Hey.
01:06:43Great.
01:06:44We're moving the stuff of Audrey's down to a place called Meso Lake, which means spark
01:07:03in English.
01:07:05It's supposed to spark a good life.
01:07:11It's a brand new place, just opened three months ago for Alzheimer's patients.
01:07:19There was one room left and we got it.
01:07:26I don't know how aware Audrey is of what's going on.
01:07:32I had sleepless nights worrying about the move.
01:07:40It's testing me, for sure, testing.
01:07:47It's making it easier by spending a lot of time here, whether days and nights.
01:07:54The staff seems to be able to put up with that.
01:07:57It's making it easier for me.
01:08:01It's making it easier by spending a lot of time here, whether days and nights.
01:08:07The staff seems to be able to put up with that.
01:08:10We spent our first night together the night before last here.
01:08:13Now we'll spend our second night together here.
01:08:16But then I have to get used to living alone at home.
01:08:20We signed a contract for one person, not for two.
01:08:24She had a seizure, which speeded up her decline.
01:08:34She can't remember the names of her children.
01:08:38But she never developed many of the characteristics that Alzheimer's patients are supposed to have.
01:08:46They're supposed to become aggressive.
01:08:51She's never shown a sign of aggressivity.
01:08:55They're supposed to start complaining.
01:08:58I've never heard her do that.
01:09:01Well, now they say there's going to become a phase where she'll forget her partner.
01:09:08Well, maybe she won't.
01:09:20For the most of the last year that Aud was home before she was put into the nursing home,
01:09:41Jaclyn couldn't understand what was going on.
01:09:51She didn't want to go and see her in the nursing home.
01:10:05She still hasn't been able to talk to Audrey on the phone.
01:10:20You can talk in the public to anybody about Alzheimer's as long as she doesn't hear.
01:10:30I'm allowed to speak out loud.
01:10:33Yeah, but just don't talk about it when she's around.
01:10:36About.
01:10:37Right.
01:10:38Okay.
01:10:39Because we want to make her feel that she's still okay, you know, that she's not too sick.
01:10:45And instead of...
01:10:47Instead of...
01:10:49Leaving us.
01:10:51Yeah.
01:10:55It was extremely hard for Jaclyn.
01:11:00And as a result, very hard for me too when I think of it, you know.
01:11:05It's really hard for you to not have a wife lying next to you here and stuff like that.
01:11:14It's not the same person. She's just a ghost of what she used to be.
01:11:18It's not the same person.
01:11:20It's not the same. It's not.
01:11:22That's...
01:11:23But she still likes to caress. She likes caresses.
01:11:27She caresses my hair when I...
01:11:30I mean, like, pat you like a cat or a dog.
01:11:33Yeah, when I lay next to her, she caresses...
01:11:35Like, pat you like a cat or a dog.
01:11:37Yeah.
01:11:38Stroke you.
01:11:39She strokes me and I stroke her. We communicate that way.
01:11:43So that makes me feel that she remembers who I am when she caresses me.
01:11:48Makes me feel I'm still her partner.
01:11:52Yeah, now she knows she's going to be losing one of her parents.
01:11:57It's very hard on her.
01:11:59So she keeps asking me how long I'm going to live.
01:12:05So I keep assuring her it's at least ten more years.
01:12:10And then she also wants to know how long Audrey's going to live.
01:12:16You and I shouldn't say no.
01:12:18She can say no, but we shouldn't say no.
01:12:21But she can say the word no.
01:12:24Yeah.
01:12:25She can, in general.
01:12:26Yeah.
01:12:28She can say no, but can she say the word I love you?
01:12:34Or not really?
01:12:35Or not really?
01:12:36Yeah, she can say it if she can find the words, yeah.
01:12:41If she can find the words properly.
01:12:45Yeah, it'll be interesting to see if she remembers our names.
01:12:48I'll ask her nicely.
01:12:51Ask her what?
01:12:52Say, can you remember my name?
01:12:54No, no, then she might feel badly if she can't remember it.
01:12:57Oh, okay.
01:13:00Let me give you a little warning.
01:13:03It takes a while for her to realize who I am when I'm there.
01:13:07I mean, it takes.
01:13:09It'll be the same for you.
01:13:10She probably will not realize who you are right away.
01:13:23Jacqueline never adjusted herself to it.
01:13:28She never came to terms with the fact that Audrey was ill.
01:13:33So she just cut herself off from Audrey.
01:13:36Stopped talking to her.
01:13:42Well, Audrey wanted to see Jacqueline.
01:13:47Kept asking about Jacqueline.
01:13:51I think you found it hard for a while there, Jacqueline.
01:13:55Yeah.
01:13:56It was really, really difficult for me.
01:13:59Yeah.
01:14:01And I didn't want to see her that way.
01:14:03Right.
01:14:05At that moment.
01:14:09I just...
01:14:16You suck to inside out.
01:14:17Why don't you put them inside in?
01:14:27There you go.
01:14:29Lift up the other feet, please.
01:14:37It took us months to persuade her that Audrey needed her as much as she needed Audrey.
01:14:46Thank God.
01:14:48Before it was too late.
01:14:56Walk.
01:15:07Hey.
01:15:12I like your dress.
01:15:13I love your dress.
01:15:15Come on.
01:15:27Come on.
01:15:29No, I can't.
01:15:42You look beautiful.
01:16:22I taught a total of about 25 years.
01:16:24In film production.
01:16:27I made some good friendships.
01:16:33Student notes from my class at Concordia.
01:16:37Very good interactions with the students.
01:16:40He's more than just a teacher, we learn about ourselves.
01:16:44Keep up being kind and respectable with students, but sometimes you have to speak louder.
01:16:50I didn't believe in marking, so I gave them all A's.
01:16:57And always had trouble with the administration doing that.
01:17:01I could never bring myself to believe that you can evaluate, give a mark to artistic talent.
01:17:20I mean, the main thing is to encourage the creative spirit of each person to come out.
01:17:30And you can't do that by giving marks.
01:17:37As long as you do your best to express yourself, you get an A.
01:17:45I think that life is like that.
01:17:47If you do your best, you know, life will give you an A.
01:18:33We're going to another room now.
01:18:35Okay.
01:18:36Because dinner is ready.
01:18:37Dinner is served.
01:18:45Mr. Creeley said that you were laughing with him today.
01:18:52Okay, for himself?
01:18:54Yeah, he said he had a good laugh with you today.
01:18:59Just like that.
01:19:05Do you want to tell her about your boyfriend?
01:19:11Thank you for reminding me.
01:19:16I broke up with Arjuna.
01:19:20And now I have a new boyfriend at camp.
01:19:24Alex.
01:19:25Wow.
01:19:27I was asking him, Alex, would you like to go out with me?
01:19:33And he said, yes, sure.
01:19:40I have a new boyfriend at camp now.
01:19:46No more Arjuna.
01:19:49He's finished.
01:19:51And now Alex.
01:19:53Wow.
01:20:15Cheers.
01:20:45Cheers.
01:20:59I don't know how long they're going to put up with me here.
01:21:02Because I'm the only spouse that sleeps here at night.
01:21:08Okay, come over here now.
01:21:10Let's go to bed over here.
01:21:11So I'm worried that they'll kick me out of here.
01:21:13So I try to keep a low profile.
01:21:16That's what it is.
01:21:17That's what it is.
01:21:20I try to stay invisible most of the time.
01:21:23Because I want to stay as long as I can without being asked to leave.
01:21:29Okay, sit down there.
01:21:33That's right.
01:21:35Okay, head down over here.
01:21:38Feet up over here.
01:21:42Head down on the pillow there.
01:21:53Okay, now you go for a ride downwards.
01:21:57There's another bed for me next to hers.
01:22:00It's a low bed, so we have to push the button and make Audrey's bed go down.
01:22:05So she joins me at my level.
01:22:07So we can hold hands.
01:22:11Okay.
01:22:33I love her more than ever.
01:22:35Yeah.
01:22:36Every day goes by, I love her more.
01:22:40Because I become more aware of how much she has meant to me in my life.
01:22:47How much she's done for me and for our family and for the world.
01:22:57So I still see her as the best person I know.
01:23:02Because of that.
01:23:03Because of that.
01:23:04Because of what we've been through in these last 46 years together.
01:23:13And I think she still loves me too.
01:23:16She says she loves me still.
01:23:19Those are some words that she can get out that mean something.
01:23:33I love you.
01:24:03I love you.
01:24:33I love you.
01:24:39I've been in this house for 42 years.
01:24:45One year without Audrey.
01:24:47So it's not the same without Audrey.
01:24:49But she's here everywhere.
01:24:51She's in all these books and records and films and pictures.
01:24:58She's very much here.
01:24:59So I'm intending to stay here the rest of my life.
01:25:29I love you.
01:25:59I love you.
01:26:29I love you.
01:26:59I love you.
01:27:00I love you.
01:27:01I love you.
01:27:02I love you.
01:27:03I love you.
01:27:04I love you.
01:27:05I love you.
01:27:06I love you.
01:27:07I love you.
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01:27:13I love you.
01:27:14I love you.
01:27:15I love you.
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01:27:19I love you.
01:27:20I love you.
01:27:21I love you.
01:27:22I love you.
01:27:23I love you.
01:27:24I love you.
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01:28:00I love you.
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01:28:54I love you.