Zaddy, queer, guy next door. HIV status: undetectable.
He was diagnosed with HIV six years ago. Now, Richard Hutchinson is reimagining his diagnosis by celebrating the lives of Black, queer men.
He was diagnosed with HIV six years ago. Now, Richard Hutchinson is reimagining his diagnosis by celebrating the lives of Black, queer men.
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00:00I just wanted to post images, you know, I wanted to change the world in a way that celebrated
00:09black queer men.
00:13I needed that.
00:14I needed something to save my own life and let myself know that I do have value.
00:23We really wanted to take the stigma of HIV and flip it, right?
00:26Black queer men were tired of fearing HIV, like we can win this thing, but the only way
00:30we're going to be able to do that is if black queer men realize the value that they have,
00:36right?
00:39Even though it has been 40 years since the first reported case of HIV in the U.S., stigma
00:43and misconceptions around the virus remain high, and HIV impacts communities of color
00:48disproportionately.
00:49For Brute, I'm taking you to Atlanta, Georgia, to meet with Richard Hutchinson, who is reimagining
00:53the term HIV.
01:12When I found out my diagnosis, I remember there was a time where I, like, stopped breathing.
01:18I was thinking of so many things, it was heavy.
01:24I was thinking, like, oh my God, how did this happen to you?
01:27Like, you're teaching people how to protect themselves, like, how did this happen to you?
01:30So I felt a sense of shame, while at the same time feeling like I'm going to be good because
01:36I have people who are going to support me.
01:42It's almost like it happened for a reason.
01:47It was like God was saying, like, I need you to use your own lived experience to change
01:51the lives of people who may not be able to speak for themselves.
01:55This is the very first photo that we posted.
02:00It got so much, so much attention, so many people, and they were like, oh my God, this
02:05is like the new age prevention messaging and things like that.
02:10It was a powerful moment for us.
02:13And from there, we just, it's like, okay, people are taking heed to this.
02:16And so then we started doing other pictures.
02:18I can't believe it's been like six years since I've been here, since I moved to Atlanta,
02:26since I've been diagnosed, and since He Is Valuable became a thing.
02:32It's crazy.
02:35He Is Valuable was birthed from my own diagnosis, as well as just realizing the impact of HIV
02:41on the black queer community.
02:42Oh, there we go.
02:43Sound good.
02:44We are a non-profit organization.
02:49How can we create imagery, create experiences that celebrates the holistic lives of black
02:54queer men, regardless of HIV?
02:55Hey, boo.
02:56Hey, there.
02:57Good to see you, in this motherfucking jacket.
02:58You better give.
02:59You better give.
03:00Oh, you smell good, too.
03:01Oh, thank you.
03:02Hey, baby.
03:03I'm good.
03:04In black community, you know, we don't talk about sex, and our parents don't want to break
03:14it up.
03:15Except for this, like, fear-based of, like, you better wear a condom, you better not do
03:18this, you better watch this.
03:19Don't bring no children home.
03:20Don't bring no kids home.
03:21Like, but that's not enough.
03:24It's hard when you don't have anybody to have those conversations with, though.
03:27Those conversations aren't part of sex education.
03:30Nope.
03:31I mean, I think that's where children, we're so, like, afraid to, like, oh, they're too
03:36younger, they this, but, like, if we don't do that, they're going to discover the world
03:39on their own.
03:40Stop being scared, and talk about sex with your kids.
03:44With my first experience, particularly with HIV, which is, like, my cousin, when I was
03:4716, he had HIV, and I didn't know.
03:50I didn't know what it mean.
03:51I didn't know what HIV meant, and he was openly gay, and I just knew my mom and family would
03:56be snickering and making comments about him and talking to him about his back, and imagine,
03:59like, you are, I'm internalizing that, because I'm, like, I don't really know what I am,
04:03but I know that, like, he's reflecting something in me, and I don't really want to say that,
04:07but, like, I hear everyone talking about him, and all my mom would just say, if you think
04:10you're going to be gay, this is going to happen to you, and my cousin died of AIDS complications
04:14when I was, like, 16 years old, and I saw that, and imagine, I didn't even get to come
04:19out.
04:20I had nothing.
04:21Like, I didn't even have sex with a boy yet.
04:22I'm, like, and that's all I know.
04:25That's all that anyone's said to me, like, wear condoms, don't get AIDS.
04:30To me, that's how I feel like we're going to fight HIV, by breaking out of our shells
04:36and being, like, you know what, we're here, period, and we're here with every bit of ourselves
04:42and looking good doing it.
04:45That vulnerability, that authenticity is what we need if we really want to save ourselves.
04:56I live here in Atlanta, but I'm a Jersey boy at heart.
04:58I moved here when I was 25.
05:01I always knew that I was different.
05:03You know, I've always had a sense of, like, I want to change the world.
05:08I think at five years old, I realized that I had, like, these feelings for, like, people
05:12that looked at me, meaning guys, but I didn't know what that was.
05:17I remember just praying and crying at night and not being able to sleep as a kid, just
05:21wishing and praying that this feeling or whatever, this curse or whatever you got on me, just
05:26take it away.
05:28My mom didn't want me to be gay because what she knew, gay was that you're going to get
05:33HIV and you're going to die.
05:36And that's the story of so many of black queer people, it's like, being gay is equivalent
05:41to, like, AIDS and dying, and that's a traumatizing way to navigate your identity.
05:51So now I'm waiting for my doctor to come in.
05:53So what we do is usually we go over my labs from the last time that I came, three months
05:58ago, to check my viral load and make sure that I'm, like, still undetectable, also to
06:04make sure that, like, no STDs or STIs, to talk about my liver and kidney function and
06:11other things, like, that may, you know, may have been brought up to our attention due
06:16to blood work.
06:18And, yeah, just to check in with her and see things are going good with my treatment.
06:29Various treatments are now available for those living with HIV to manage the virus and reach
06:33undetectable levels, meaning it cannot be transmitted.
06:36There are also effective preventive medicines like PrEP, a daily pill that reduces the risk
06:40of getting HIV.
06:42But data shows that there are still major inequities that exist in accessing treatment
06:46and care.
06:47Come on.
06:49So I'm going to meet with one of my friends, Darion, to talk about our doctor's appointment.
06:53I had a doctor's appointment earlier this week, and he had his today.
06:56And so we're just going to check in to see how it's going, how life's treating us, and
07:01what's going on with our HIV treatment.
07:04Come on, let's go.
07:06How you doing?
07:07I'm good.
07:08So you, were you just, you came from your doctor's appointment today?
07:11Yes!
07:12I was still tired, got off work at one o'clock, but I made it, I'm tired.
07:17What time was your appointment?
07:18Nine o'clock.
07:19Oh, see.
07:20What did you talk to your doctor about?
07:22She said, do I have any sexual active partners right now?
07:25I said, no, not really.
07:27I need some.
07:28You said, no?
07:29Yes!
07:30Are we lying to our doctors?
07:31No.
07:32I haven't been out there like I used to do.
07:33But she said, are you sexually active?
07:34No, she said, do I have any sexual active partners right now?
07:40I said, no.
07:41Huh?
07:42I haven't had sex.
07:44I haven't had sex.
07:49Have a great day, honey.
07:50HIV is not just about like, getting people treatment, because treatment exists, but like
07:55everyone doesn't have access to it.
07:57So that's a social justice issue.
07:58So like, yeah, the cure may come out, but that don't mean you're going to be able to
08:01afford it or access it because, you know, we low income people who don't have access
08:06to health care, they're not going to be able to get access to the cure.
08:10How much is that going to cost?
08:11Because imagine, the HIV meds is like $3,000 a month, so how much would the cure cost per
08:16person?
08:17Because like, when life gets hard for me, I feel like I'm more blessed than like most.
08:23But like, when I have to focus on work or do multiple things just to survive, sometimes
08:28you forget to take my medicine because I have other priorities.
08:31Like, it's about survival as opposed to like thriving.
08:33Yeah, we got a lot of work, still a lot of work to do.
08:36So you want that sandwich or no?
08:37Yeah, I do.
08:38Okay.
08:40See you.
08:41See you.
08:42Have a good day.
08:43You too.
08:45When we talk about the medical industrial complex, a lot of black and brown people have
08:51been traumatized by those institutions.
08:54So that puts us more at risk for things like HIV and poverty and high unemployment rates
09:01and, you know, lack of education and access to education.
09:04All of those things, those type of social injustices are, you know, HIV is often the
09:08result of those things coming together and meeting at this intersection and just, bow.
09:16For me, I don't know what it means to be like, gay in Atlanta without Joe.
09:21It's literally people fly into town and this is the spot.
09:26It's kind of sad.
09:27You know, it's not like a fancy place, like a super fancy place.
09:29But I feel like that's the point.
09:31But it's like, it's where the girls come.
09:34It's our cheers, where everybody knows your name.
09:36Exactly.
09:37This is the model.
09:38This is the walkway.
09:39You can meet new friends.
09:40You can take some shots, meet new friends.
09:43If this bar could talk, they would talk about me so bad.
09:51One in two black gay men are going to contract HIV in their lifetime.
09:56We are more than those numbers.
09:57We are more than just this projection, right?
09:59And the projection means that if we do nothing, if we do nothing different, if we do nothing
10:04that's more innovative, if we do nothing that, you know, really impacts community,
10:08those projections will become a reality, right?
10:10And so that's what birthed this idea of like, we have to find some innovation on how to
10:14engage our community around this topic.
10:16Because this one in two doesn't have to be true.
10:35No, I'm looking at it.
10:49I use gay dating apps.
10:52You might have heard of them, like Jacked, Grindr.
10:56Mine says like Paz, like Zaddy, Queer, Guy Next Door.
11:01And I put status positive undetectable because I'm a person living with HIV.
11:05And, you know, as of my most recent doctor's appointments, I am HIV undetectable.
11:11I mean, like my viral load is so low that I'm unable to transmit HIV to someone else.
11:20Now, there have been times where some people have came at me and said, like, why would
11:23you share this?
11:24Like, that's personal.
11:25Like, or probably have denied me.
11:28There are people that, you know, who are completely against people living with HIV and they will
11:32put it out there.
11:33When people create that type of language and that type of environment, like what does that
11:37mean for like prevention, right?
11:39What does that mean for like getting people tested?
11:41Because people now are going to feel guilty or don't want to be associated with that.
11:45So that's going to make me less likely to want to get tested because I don't want to
11:47know what my actual status is because I don't want to have to tell people that I live with
11:51HIV so they can criminalize me, you know, demoralize me, you know, dehumanize me because
11:56of my status, which makes our work of like trying to get people into care and trying
12:01to get people to get tested or on PrEP harder because of that type of stigma.
12:12So I'm packing to get ready for the photo shoot.
12:17And what's really going to be exciting is that we're going to be replicating some of
12:20the first photos for the campaign.
12:24I smell good.
12:38One, two, three.
12:40Raw.
12:41Raw.
12:42No, this is actually a large, so that's yours.
12:44Okay.
12:45This is what I'm wearing.
12:47My body part's going to be out.
12:50Okay.
12:51This is an extra large.
12:53This is stretchy.
12:54Richard is a...
12:55This is an extra large.
12:56What do you have?
12:57It says extra large.
12:59Okay, so you...
13:00Yeah, that's a lot.
13:01Oh, yeah, that's mine.
13:02Oh, shit.
13:05You let me know.
13:06Y'all come over here and tell me.
13:08Your cape's got to be out.
13:09People might think that, you know, black queer men like love to be naked, but some of us
13:15struggle with like body positivity.
13:18And so, like, doing this is not even just for, like, the sake of excitement sometimes.
13:22It's a journey for us to, like, do stuff like this.
13:25Like, I have to get myself together in the bathroom to, like, tell myself that it's okay
13:29for me to wear this and that my body is okay.
13:33This is nerve-wracking for me, but we're gonna...
13:40One of our things is to create positive imagery of black queer men.
13:49Your sexuality is demonized.
13:51You're told that it happens in the dark.
13:53You know, you're doing things behind closed doors.
13:55You don't know how to celebrate that if you've never seen it.
13:59A lot of us have struggled to love ourselves for that, right?
14:02A lot of us look in the mirror and have not been able to look and say, you know, I love
14:06my body.
14:07I love my sexuality.
14:08I love the way I'm shaped.
14:09I love my eyes.
14:10I love my lips.
14:12We can celebrate that while, you know, getting our community the services that they need.
14:17We can celebrate our bodies and our sexuality while we change the world.
14:23Yeah.
14:26Like, you're trying to make him feel like the best thing in the world.