Two trans people. Two very different generations. Joon, 24, and Genn, 58, have a conversation about their trans identities.
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00:00Being trans to me is an act of resistance in a world that tends to kind of stifle us.
00:05That's the beautiful thing about young people. I mean they are really
00:09anti of being who they are. I never had that experience,
00:13so when I look at it, I just think it's a really beautiful thing.
00:15I came out three years ago, and I knew at about eight years old. That was like
00:31late 1960s, 69. And there was no transgender. There wasn't even a word.
00:37And, you know, I got dressed up with my next door neighbor and my sister's brownie outfit.
00:43But as soon as I got home, you know, I tried to explain to my mother. I was like, you know,
00:47oh god, I just love this, you know. And she was like, listen, you've got to take that off.
00:51Your father's about to come home. You know, he'll essentially murder you. You know, those were
00:56not her exact words, but, you know, I knew it then. And the feeling kind of never left me.
01:02And then I was essentially in the closet for almost 40 years. And on May 1st, 2017,
01:13I woke up. And I was like, I woke up in the morning, and I said, I don't know what I'm doing.
01:19I said, I can't do this anymore. I can't suppress it. I can't fight it.
01:23When I initially came out as non-binary, I did not actually claim the term trans,
01:28specifically because of, you know, historical media depictions that often portrayed
01:33binary trans folks. And personally, I did not quite identify with that.
01:36But, you know, upon doing more reading and kind of learning, at least in my own experience,
01:42that trans just essentially is a way of articulating anything that is not cisgender.
01:47And the fact that, you know, I don't necessarily identify with the gender that was assigned to me
01:51at birth. As I identify as a trans woman, for me, it's very important because it's something I
01:56wanted my whole entire life. And I must say, because I was so indoctrinated as a male,
02:04I got a lot of things wrong about women, about the way to look, about the way to act,
02:09about the way to be. I had a lot of sexist attitudes about that. And here I am, you know,
02:15wanting to be a woman. You know, so it was a real learning process for me.
02:20You know, people need to understand pronouns and pronoun usage. I call all the time on phone.
02:26It's really hurtful when I get on the call and I say my name is Jennifer and I say my pronouns,
02:32and I repeatedly have to correct the person that, you know, you're using the wrong pronouns.
02:40Once, twice, by the third time, I've had enough. You know what I mean?
02:45When I first came out as non-binary, it was a rather new thing in culture. And I remember
02:53really feeling the need to express and proclaim my transness, even explicitly and externally.
03:01And so even though the situation might not call for it, I would force myself to wear makeup and
03:07wear high heels to my econ class in college. Like, who does that? But of course, as more and
03:13more people have really started respecting my pronouns and have, you know, really normalized
03:18the use of they, them in reference to me, it's also helped me feel so much more secure in myself
03:23where I no longer feel the need to perform my transness explicitly.
03:27I love non-binary and I'll tell you why. Because it blows up gender. You know,
03:32that's the beautiful thing about, I don't, I don't identify as non-binary.
03:36But I think that in years to come, I think it's going to have a big effect on sexism.
03:43And I think we'll see a lot less sexism as a result of non-binary. So non-binary really is
03:48a beautiful thing. It's a very difficult concept, I have to say, for most people, particularly
03:54older generations to really get. I think going forward, it's going to make the world a better
04:00place. It really will. My hope. But, you know, I'm a dad. I identify as dad. I like being called
04:09dad. She has a mother. So, and my daughter is 21. And, you know, the only thing I ask her is,
04:16you know, in an open space like this, and you're 20 feet away, don't call for dad.
04:22And as you stated about your relationship with your daughter, I too am a child of a Korean
04:29woman, and also an older sibling to a Korean woman. And essentially, like, my relationship
04:40with them as their son or as their brother is something very near and dear to my heart. And so,
04:45like, I share that to say that, like, with my mom, I have no intentions of ever coming out
04:49as transgender because I pride my relationship with her as her, as her son. And I think that
04:56is what I would want older trans folks to know, is that we're very complex people. Sometimes the
05:01trans identity is at the forefront, sometimes it's not, and that's perfectly fine. For an elder
05:06person, I think we have to do a better job listening, you know, and not sort of dictate
05:13about how a person should be, you know. I think what you said about listening is also applicable
05:19to us as well. What I yearn from for more young people is this idea of, like, respecting the
05:27people who have, like, created these spaces for us. And I think that, you know, sometimes that
05:32gets lost in translation. And especially kind of considering that for so many of us, it's really
05:38hard to imagine a life past 40 just because we haven't really seen any literature or resources
05:44surrounding, kind of, transgender longevity. Like, why not make the most by connecting with
05:49our elders who can speak to what it means, like, to imagine a life, you know, past 40. And, like,
05:54that is only really accomplished by active listening and by essentially actively creating
05:59spaces where we can have these intergenerational conversations. We do have things in common.
06:04I really think my true takeaway right now is just kind of feeling very viscerally how important it
06:11is for us to continue to facilitate spaces where, like, people of different generations can interact.
06:17I think that we have seen quite a gap in that, keeping in mind that our elders are also so
06:22important and that there needs to be some kind of intergenerational bridge as we continue to,
06:28kind of, collectivize and move forward. There is no way to be. The way to be is the way Jen wants to be.
06:34The way to be is the way Jen wants to be.
06:36Gemini's are the best and we will be keeping in contact.