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Transcript
00:00Holy steady watchin every day. They caught me
00:03One of Satan's greatest soldiers was Kings on some was wrong with him. That's not human man
00:09You're not regular man when I heard that vine guy
00:12I was relieved for the community man cuz he was over that shitting them guys
00:19But he was dead bro, if he wanted you out of there he'll go do it himself on feet by himself
00:30Alrighty, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this emergency trial because I'm going to
00:41go ahead and tell you this right now.
00:42This was not planned.
00:43I had like two other videos I was working on for this month, but I completely forgot
00:49that the man that I have had a seat reserved on this round table for years has finally
00:56made his debut.
00:57So everything, and I mean everything is getting put on hold right now because this monstrosity
01:04is the number one priority right now.
01:06So let's go ahead and get down to business.
01:09Evidence is on deck and ready to be presented.
01:11So without further ado, Exhibit S.
01:15Alrighty ladies and gentlemen, I present to you this special Exhibit S, Conquest, Satan's
01:21Greatest Soldier.
01:23So do y'all remember back in season two when Anissa's trifling ass told Mark that the next
01:29time the Viltrumite sends somebody to earth, it's going to be somebody 10 times worse than
01:34her?
01:35Yeah, this old n***a is who she meant.
01:38Conquest, the most terrifying Viltrumite in the empire.
01:42And I really mean that because all the other Viltrumites are scared of this n***a.
01:46And I mean, I don't blame him because this motherf***er look like he'd love to scrap.
01:50Just take a glance at him.
01:52Big buff old n***a with a prosthetic arm that looks like the infinity gauntlet, an egregious
01:58nasty bald spot, and some crooked ass teeth.
02:01This man don't give a damn about his appearance at all.
02:04And that is a major sign to never f*** with a n***a like this because they ain't got nothing
02:09to lose.
02:10They do this for the love of the game.
02:13So when he pulled up on Mark, motherf***er instantly says, stand ready for my arrival
02:18worm.
02:19And he's already degrading this man on their first interaction.
02:22This is how you know this ain't gonna go well, bro already thinks of him as fodder.
02:25So they start scrapping.
02:26And just by the shockwave of the first punch, people already dead, flying like ragdolls.
02:32So let's just go ahead and get started on this murder count because it's going to be
02:35a lot.
02:36You know what?
02:37Let me just go ahead and say this.
02:38If you thought the collateral damage between Sukuna and Maharaga was bad, this is 10 times
02:44worse.
02:45Sukuna's head butts Mark and pile drives him into the ground.
02:49And after he pinned bro down, he started telling Mark why he was actually here.
02:54And this is when we knew this n***a was crazy.
02:57He told Mark, right about now Anissa's trifling skank ass would be yapping to you about, oh,
03:04we got to do this for the Viltrum empire, blah, blah, blah.
03:07I will tell you this right now, little n***a, I came here to whoop yo ass for the love of
03:13the game.
03:15He really is about this life.
03:16And said, fuck the objective.
03:17I came here to whoop yo ass, n***a, crack and kiss my ass.
03:23So Mark punches him and Conquest is just like, oh, fuck yeah.
03:28That's what I like to see, cowboy.
03:30So Mark starts slamming him through multiple buildings, then he full sends him to the stratosphere
03:36and starts hitting him with that Injustice 2 Superman move, boom, sending him all the
03:41way to space.
03:42But at this moment right here is when we figured out that this man is a freaky ass n***a.
03:48He blew out a bubble of his blood, shaped it into a heart, and just flicked it.
03:55Excuse me?
03:56What do you mean by this?
04:00Nasty ass n***a.
04:01So Conquest brings him back into the atmosphere and hits him with the right hook with the
04:06infinity gauntlet.
04:07And he just takes a nasty drop from the ground.
04:09Hell, even the news caught that on 4K.
04:12It's mama watching this like, oh my god, my baby boy.
04:15I ain't gonna lie, out of anybody in this whole show, Debbie gotta have it the worst.
04:19Your son get his ass beat every Thursday, your husband calls you a damn bitch, and then
04:23he fucked a cockroach, and now you gotta take care of a purple n***a.
04:27Man, prayers up for Debbie, man.
04:29So while Mark was just knocked out, surviving like on 1 HP, trying to get his wits together
04:34while coughing up blood, he notices the ground starts to shake, and he knew in his head,
04:40Oh, fuck me.
04:42It's clobbering time!
04:48This man just ulted the city.
04:51The amount of people that probably just died there is insane.
04:55If this is supposed to be downtown Chicago, which has a population of 244,000, and let's
05:01just lowball it, because a lot of people evacuated the city after the Invincible War, so let's
05:05say he just dropped off one-eighth of n****s.
05:08This man just killed about 30,000 motherfuckers with his ult.
05:11Oh, man, man, man, this n***a needs to be stopped.
05:16Also, this is a clear act of terrorism, just to add that on there.
05:20So then he sends them flying, and then he hits Mark with the Injustice 2 super move,
05:25and this man just gets flung all the way to another city, n***a, through his ass to another
05:29area code.
05:30So after getting flung across the country, Mark sees Conquest coming at him at full speed,
05:35looking like Prime Ray Lewis, but Mark just screams to stop, because he's just giving
05:40up at this point, and he's just like, please, I better do-
05:43Shut your ass up, n***a!
05:47Motherfucker, I'm having the time of my life right now, and you are over here complaining
05:53like a punk pussy bitch!
05:56And man, just look at the collateral, bro.
05:58This man is missing his leg!
06:01He just made him an amputee!
06:03Oh, lord!
06:05So while Conquest kept on yapping about how he was basically gonna kill everybody on the
06:09planet, Oliver comes in, and sure look at that senior citizen across the block!
06:15But man, oh man, this part is terrible.
06:18Oliver flies into Conquest, just to get big slapped and shriveled like a basketball!
06:24Oh my god!
06:26He slapped him so loud in his purple, n***a!
06:29Look at that impact frame!
06:31Dear god!
06:32Just for that, bro, put this man with child abuse, because that was disgusting!
06:37So he grabs Oliver midair, and he's like, hey little purple squirt, what's your name?
06:43I'd like to know the name of my victims before I dismember them.
06:49But Mark comes in and saves Oliver's life, and he starts begging to his little brother,
06:54he's like, Oliver, get your little ass out of here now!
06:57But Conquest did not care that Oliver was a child, because he just thought of him like
07:02another toy to play with.
07:04So he tackles Mark, and just starts slamming him through everything!
07:08This man pulled out the whole Broly moveset, dragging him through the ground and shit,
07:12and just throwing him like a pussy!
07:14And at this point, this wasn't even a fight anymore, this just became pure, unadulterated
07:19torture!
07:20Look at him just dragging him through shit, busting through every building possible!
07:25And lord have mercy, the innocent civilians affected by Collateral continues to rise.
07:31As he slams Mark into the ground, you just hear them falling in the background.
07:36Splat!
07:38Poor man just went face first into concrete, all because he was simply at the wrong place
07:44at the wrong time.
07:46Damn shame.
07:47And look at this other dude, man.
07:49Come on, bruh.
07:50So then Conquest uses Mark as a human skateboard, and drags him all the way into this bus.
07:55And then after this, he proceeded to go on another yap session.
07:58Bro was like, you know kid, seeing your face all bloody like this brings back some good
08:04memories.
08:05You see, this ain't the first time I've whooped your ass, boy.
08:07I've actually whooped your ass in another universe.
08:10I remember it like it was yesterday.
08:12You see, I had this bat named Lucille, and I bashed your fucking skull in!
08:20You took it like a champ too, kid.
08:22You had a highball and shit hanging out.
08:24And you know what the best part was?
08:26Bashing your skull in, in front of your wife.
08:29Absolute cinema.
08:32So Oliver comes in to save Mark.
08:34And man, I'm not gonna lie to y'all.
08:36This part right here is why Conquest needs to be put on a watch list.
08:41He tells Oliver, oh, welcome back, little purple squirt.
08:45I'm gonna split you in half and eat your heart out.
08:49So he kick-slaps Mark and gives Oliver a nasty right hook.
08:54And my lord, when Oliver got up, he started puking blood and his teeth was falling out.
09:00Autumn damn teeth.
09:01That boy about to get a payday from the tooth fairy.
09:04Then he palms his head, lifts him over him, and starts stretching his body.
09:09And he's yapping to him like, do you feel your body starting to rip, purple squirt?
09:14I bet it feels amazing.
09:16I wonder what blood type you are.
09:18Personally, O-type.
09:20Tastes the best.
09:22But Mark finally saves Oliver from this freaky-ass nigga.
09:25But dear lord, y'all already know what we about to do.
09:28Hit that nigga with attempted murder.
09:30With child abuse on the side.
09:32Like yo, he almost ripped this kid in half.
09:35But man, oh man.
09:37It's time for this man's nastiest act.
09:41The beach.
09:42Oh god, the beach.
09:44So we already know that Mark is pretty familiar with being a human meat shield.
09:49But this time, I ain't even gonna sugarcoat it.
09:52In my opinion, this is way worse than the train.
09:54So Conquest starts dragging Mark to a beach.
09:57And before tragedy strikes, you just see this girl and she can only react for a split second.
10:04Conquest rams through the beach, killing everybody on impact.
10:08Flying straight through the city and ramming people with Mark's body in a straight line.
10:14The nigga was moving so fast he was just breaking people's bodies.
10:17And oh my god, that poor kid.
10:21Mama was probably just walking him to school.
10:24And now he ain't got a arm.
10:26And Mama is road killed.
10:28And he just continued to drag him through the city.
10:30Oh lord.
10:32Mass murder terrorism.
10:34Hit him with every charge in the book, dawg.
10:37Like, why?
10:38This was so unnecessary.
10:40You didn't have to do this.
10:42And who knows how many bodies that is.
10:44I'm not doing the math for this one.
10:45Uncountable.
10:46So after this man just committed a literal terror attack, Eve ends up showing up to help her pookie bear.
10:54And you can just see the look on Mark's face, man.
10:56Oh lord, shorty outta all the times.
10:59Why now?
11:00And then here go this nigga Conquest looking at her like, well salutations, fine shit.
11:05Ooh, you look delicious.
11:07When Mark came in to tackle him, he was like, get your freaky ass away from her, nigga.
11:11But Conquest headbutts Mark and shatters this man's leg.
11:15Bone popping out and everything.
11:17Your season is over.
11:18So the only person standing in this man's way now was Eve.
11:22And I ain't gonna lie, Eve locked the fuck in.
11:26She honestly gave this man a better fight than Mark.
11:29She made a whole little Iron Man suit, right?
11:31And started abusing that broken ass power of hers.
11:34Out here changing the density of air.
11:36Making a big ass hammer.
11:38Slamming that nigga.
11:39Ka-pow!
11:40Let me give you one more.
11:41Wa-bam!
11:43She was comboing this nigga.
11:46Mark looking like, damn, maybe I am sorry as hell.
11:49Look at her.
11:50Put a fishbowl on this nigga's head.
11:52Then hit him with a us-us.
11:53Slap some spike balls into his ass.
11:56Then she just started spamming.
11:57Throwing axes at the nigga.
11:59Spears at the nigga.
12:00Crushing him with her walls.
12:02She was mashing every button on the controller.
12:04But unfortunately for Eve, when she threw her last spear, Conquest finally blocked.
12:09And Eve was negative as hell.
12:13He side swipes her.
12:14Then he side swipes her again.
12:16Then he grabs her.
12:17And rips the helmet off of her.
12:18Rips the armor off.
12:20Man, man, man.
12:22He shoryukens the flesh off the bitch.
12:26Then he drilled his hand through her guts.
12:31And Eve was done.
12:32Cocked.
12:33Half her face is broke.
12:35And her intestines are literally falling out.
12:37Oh, this was just brutal.
12:40And to add salt to the wound, this freaky ass nigga licked her blood.
12:45And said, ooh, delicious.
12:47That's gotta be O-type.
12:49So Mark, with a coochie rage boost, went up to Conquest and actually shattered his gauntlet while shattering his hand as well.
12:57So Mark finally decided to lock in after the huzz was on life support.
13:01And look at this, bro.
13:02Conquest started bear hugging this man just for Mark to bite the flesh off of this man.
13:07Bro was turned feral.
13:08But the end of this was just crazy.
13:10Conquest hits Mark with a combo and plants him on the ground.
13:14And he gets up in his ear and says, I'm so lonely.
13:18All the other Vilgemites are scared of me.
13:21They think that I'm a freaky ass nigga.
13:24They didn't even give me a name.
13:26I only have a purpose.
13:28Conquest.
13:30I'm suffering from my own success, nigga.
13:33So after Conquest shared his deepest insecurities to Mark, he starts choking the life out of him.
13:38And is about to end early.
13:40But resurrected Eve with the power of, shit, I don't know.
13:45Hits that nigga with a love love beam.
13:47And she fried this old nigga till his ass was butt booty naked.
13:51And from this point, it was over.
13:52Mark started playing God of War and started spamming circle.
13:55Circle.
13:56Circle.
13:57Circle.
13:58Bro started headbutting this man to death until he was unresponsive.
14:02Finally putting an end to this senior citizen's reign of terror.
14:06Or so we thought.
14:07Because after the fight, this dumbass buffoon.
14:12Cecil decided to keep him alive.
14:15And man, buddy, how do you think this is going to go when he wakes up?
14:18You know what?
14:19I don't even need an explanation.
14:21You know exactly what the fuck is going to happen.
14:24The Conquest Trial.
14:29And ladies and gentlemen, this is our final spreadsheet.
14:32This man did all of this in one special exhibit.
14:36Easiest round table win of all time.
14:39No questions need to be asked.
14:42So voila.
14:43That's it.
14:44So hope y'all enjoyed, man.
14:45And I should see y'all next weekend if everything goes well.
14:48But until then.