MALIKA and Sam met when working in a nightclub together in 2016. They were both pre-transition and were best friends for 7 years because they were both in relationships with other people at that time. Sam became single and Malika and her partner had decided to “open” their relationship. They welcomed Sam into their relationship, but within a year, the relationship as a throuple broke down. However, Malika and Sam’s relationship continued. Malika says she has always known she was trans; she came out when she was 13. She is 2 years into her transition. Sam is now 10 years into his transition; he has had a hysterectomy and top surgery. Malika says “she needs every damn thing” when it comes to surgery! She wants breast surgery and sees herself as a “full figure woman”. Malika says they experience judgement due to their physical differences, Malika is built physically bigger than Sam. Sam knows he is a convincingly-passing man and even though he is smaller than Malika he feels like he is the protector of the relationship. Malika finds being out in public sometimes nerve wracking. The couple got married recently - Sam had set up a surprise engagement in a garden, unbeknownst to Malika, he had filled in the marriage paperwork weeks prior so they got engaged and married on the same day! Malika thought she was getting ready for an engagement party when in fact Sam had gathered close family, friends and an officiate and they got married. They want to show the world they're just like any other 'normal' couple and whilst they go against social “norms”, they are still relatable.
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00:00I transitioned and now I'm helping my wife do the same.
00:04He helped me get there and make that decision
00:07and actually gave me my first hormone shot.
00:10A lot of people don't even assume that I'm trans.
00:13This is true.
00:14What the f*** is it?
00:15I'm human just like you.
00:17When you came in, it was just like full force.
00:20I didn't have time to computer put two and two together.
00:23I didn't know you were ever here about you
00:25and then you were always there.
00:29I didn't have that person of understanding
00:32when I went through my transition
00:34and to be able to be that person for her.
00:40Hi, my name is Malika and this is my husband Sam
00:43and people judge our relationship because we are both trans.
00:47I think I'm going to pull her out tonight.
00:49Welcome to Cardi's glam room.
00:52This is where I become my alter ego, Cardi Red Diamond.
00:55We met nine years ago at a nightclub.
00:59Yeah, I was performing that night.
01:01I just got residency there.
01:03I'm a lady of options, I'm a lady of stones,
01:05glam, sequin, shine, you name it.
01:08I was drawn to her confidence.
01:11There wasn't much conversation until he asked me
01:14to come smoke with him after the bar closed
01:16and the rest is history.
01:20I have been performing now for ten years.
01:23I started in the scene when I was 18 years old.
01:27We started off in another relationship dynamic.
01:32She was in an open relationship.
01:34I was the third person that came into that open relationship.
01:38This is not even a quarter of what I have.
01:42This is one of my favorites.
01:44I love this outfit, obviously because of the drama.
01:48That first relationship ended
01:50and we just continued to date after that.
01:53Yep. Way to go, babe.
01:56That was a great explanation.
01:58My favorite color is pink.
02:00This is also one of my favorites.
02:02Catwoman is my team and I have acrobatic skills
02:06so this is one of my favorite characters to cosplay.
02:10I kind of took on an assistant role, so to say.
02:15He typically carries the bags.
02:17I got the look under control.
02:19Chauffeuring.
02:21Helping her get to her gigs.
02:23Helping her with the bookies.
02:28We got married the same day that we got engaged.
02:33So I planned out a photo shoot for our date
02:37and made it seem like we were taking family photos.
02:42Turn around and look at Sam.
02:45And I popped the question and then we went downtown
02:49and filed for the marriage license.
02:53You made the ring box yourself in my favorite color.
02:57She walked into a bouquet of flowers
03:01and an officiant standing in the living room next to me.
03:06And the officiant looks at me and she goes,
03:08you're getting married today.
03:11And I couldn't even get words out.
03:13I was so like, how I am now? Speechless.
03:18I bawled like a baby. I was sobbing.
03:21I was like so overwhelmed.
03:23She looked absolutely beautiful.
03:26Probably one of the best days of my entire life.
03:29The effort that she put into that is like unmatched.
03:35Okay, get ready. Are you ready?
03:37I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
03:38Just stand there.
03:40You get those comments online like, is that a man?
03:44Is that a man in a dress?
03:46Is that a man in a dress?
03:47I'm confused.
03:48I'm confused.
03:49Our engagement video went viral.
03:51And I think that was the first time
03:53that I personally experienced the negativity.
03:57She's kind of had more exposure to that.
03:59I think there were maybe three that popped off
04:02before I told her to shut it off.
04:04What the f*** is it?
04:06I'm human just like you.
04:08Just stuff like that. Dumbass stuff.
04:10You're wasting your time judging other people.
04:13The biggest blessing in life is that we all have our own past.
04:17We both had several people come to us
04:19and thank us for just being visible.
04:22Why do you worry about how my life will look?
04:24Go figure out yours.
04:28I started my transition in 2015.
04:33I lived a very, let's say, sheltered life.
04:36Looking back at my childhood, had I known the terminology,
04:39I would have been able to determine
04:41who I was at a much younger age.
04:44I have had my top surgery.
04:47And I also had a hysterectomy.
04:49I started my transition in February of 2023.
04:54I realized that I was a girl
04:56when I was like four or five years old.
04:58Growing up was difficult for me.
05:01When Christmas time came around, it was depressing
05:03and I had to pretend that it was a happy time
05:05because while I wanted a Barbie or a Bratz doll,
05:08I got an action figure and a WWE wrestler.
05:12I didn't want that for Christmas.
05:14I hit 29 and I was like, enough is enough.
05:17Like, I'm not living for nobody else anymore.
05:19I know what's going to make me happy.
05:21And he helped me get there and make that decision
05:24and actually gave me my first hormone shot.
05:27I've been doing mine for over ten years,
05:30so it's like nothing.
05:32But now we do each other's.
05:34I do his and he does mine.
05:36I haven't had any surgeries yet, no.
05:38No surgeries yet.
05:40A lot of people don't even assume that I'm trans.
05:43So they're just mind-blown.
05:45And they're like, well, how do you have a better beard than I do?
05:49How do I grow a beard like yours?
05:55SJ is my drag daughter.
05:57I'm a showgirl and I'm a mentor to her.
06:00I have known Malika for seven years now.
06:03I became her drag daughter and I met Sam through her.
06:07It's been a minute since I've seen her,
06:09so she's going to come over and visit.
06:11Daughter!
06:12Hello, mother!
06:14At first, I was pretty apprehensive about the whole thing.
06:19I was like, I'm not sure how I feel about this man.
06:22When it comes to dating as a trans woman,
06:25it's already hard because people look at it as,
06:28oh, you're dating a trans woman.
06:30You're gay, automatically, no matter what.
06:33How did you feel walking in and seeing a wedding that you didn't know about?
06:37Honestly, it was a bit of a shock.
06:40I was not prepared for that.
06:42I thought y'all were going to get engaged that day, not get married.
06:46Well, I thought I was just going to be engaged that day, too.
06:49So we were all a bit surprised, except for you.
06:52I think a lot of people also think that it was quick.
06:57Were there questions? Did you not agree?
07:00There was so much going on in that.
07:03I know you were in an open thing.
07:05I wasn't expecting for you guys to get so serious.
07:09Did you feel as though I was someone that was coming in
07:13and kind of stepping on toes of your parents' relationship?
07:17I mean, yes.
07:18When you came in, it was just like full force.
07:21I didn't have time to computer put two and two together.
07:24Y'all were just together by the time I knew y'all were together, if that makes sense.
07:28I get that.
07:29It makes sense.
07:30I feel like in the beginning, it was a little hard for me.
07:33I didn't really care to get to know you, if I'm being honest.
07:36Then I realized you truly cared about her deeply.
07:40It would go to the ends of the earth for her.
07:42Honestly, the fact that a trans person could find another trans person
07:45to help them on the journey in itself is very special.
07:49Having a partner that goes through the struggles and things that you go through
07:52and can understand them, it means the world.
07:55I want to know, why her?
07:58Why do you care so much about her?
08:00And how do you know that this is what you want for the rest of your life?
08:05Nine years ago, I saw the girl that was hiding in drag.
08:09I saw the girl that was driven to the bars to try to be seen.
08:14And I get to help her do that.
08:16I didn't have that person of understanding when I went through my transition.
08:20And to be able to be that person for her...
08:29It just solidified everything for me.
08:32For the first time in my entire life, I felt unconditional love with somebody.
08:39I've become the person that I'm supposed to be because of him.
08:44She has brought a new light to my drive.
08:48She makes me want to achieve more.
08:51The way that he looked at me when he first laid his eyes on me,
08:54he has not stopped looking at me that way.
08:57And that, to me, is more impactful and powerful than anything else.
09:01Go find your person, b****.
09:04I got mine. He got his.
09:18I got mine. He got his.