testing out my new frontal lobotomy
Main Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/martincitopants
VOD Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChp9HmpAUJx2352TFlgaZdw
Editor: @MitchFrickingClark
Main Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/martincitopants
VOD Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChp9HmpAUJx2352TFlgaZdw
Editor: @MitchFrickingClark
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00Hello again, welcome back to the live channel.
00:02In today's video, we drive.
00:04Long.
00:06In the long drive.
00:06That's right, my friend Scott and I recently gave each other a frontal lobotomy.
00:10Allowing us to defy the laws of physics, hunt UFOs,
00:13experience paranoid illusions, take a fucking huge shit,
00:15practice responsible gun safety, drive, drive even more,
00:18do a little more driving, just keep on driving,
00:19I just love driving, I cannot get enough driving!
00:21So, lobotomy.
00:26There you are, I see you.
00:27Well, well, well.
00:28Hello, sir.
00:32How do you zoom in?
00:33Uh, right click.
00:37Wait, hold on, hold on.
00:40You might want to look behind you.
00:42So what do we, what do we do?
00:44I think we drive, I suppose.
00:47I think we look too similar.
00:48Is that a thing you can change?
00:50Yeah, player.
00:52I can remove my hair and my eyebrows.
00:54Can I remove my skin?
00:56No.
00:58I can make my skin jet black.
01:00No way, wait a minute.
01:02I'm Heisenberg now.
01:04Do you see me?
01:05I've just...
01:07Dude, nighttime guns aren't invisible.
01:10They will never catch us.
01:12Oh my...
01:16How do we start the car?
01:18Oh.
01:18Yeah, I'm definitely...
01:19I got the car working.
01:22I can hear it.
01:23I just took a shit!
01:25I just shit myself.
01:30Oh no!
01:32Okay.
01:33No, I didn't mean to eat it.
01:34Oh my god, I'm fucking stupid.
01:36Wait a second, wait a second.
01:37If I go outside, can you see me at all?
01:39Sleep paralysis.
01:40I'm your sleep paralysis demon.
01:44Dude, you gotta do that.
01:45You gotta go full black in the player menu.
01:48Okay, you ready?
01:49Oh my god, you look freaky.
01:51Dude, I can't see you at all.
01:52How's it going, old bud?
01:53Welcome.
01:54That's terrifying.
01:56You ready?
02:00I just want to drive.
02:01I just want to drive.
02:01How do I drive the car?
02:03Oh, wait.
02:03Your handbrake's on.
02:05There you go.
02:06Oh.
02:06Yes!
02:07Yeah, the fuel is not good.
02:11We should probably fill the car up.
02:13Here's the question.
02:14How do we do that?
02:17All right, we have oil.
02:18Extra virgin car oil.
02:20We have jizz on it.
02:23Jizz on it.
02:25All right, pick up.
02:27Okay, here's water.
02:28We gotta put the water in the coolant,
02:30and I don't think you're gonna be able to guess where the gas is gonna go.
02:33Did I just drink the gas?
02:35I'm fucking so stupid.
02:37Okay, we got 1.2 liters.
02:39Uh, can you convert that into...
02:43Okay, I'm filling the car up with alcohol.
02:45This is probably not good.
02:4771% alcohol.
02:50Let's drive.
02:50Hop in, hop in, hop in.
02:52No, I'm gonna load some more fuel.
02:53Scott!
02:55Scott, the car won't start!
02:57Fuuuck!
02:58Oh, wait, hold on.
02:59Fuck, the car was working.
03:01Why did we fill it up with alcohol?
03:03Can I, like, drink the alcohol out of the gas tank or something?
03:06I've had enough.
03:09No, no, Scott, don't do it!
03:11No!
03:13Okay, hold on.
03:13Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
03:14I think we can figure this out.
03:15I think we can figure this out.
03:16Do I put diesel in it?
03:17Let me fill the car with diesel.
03:19Maybe it'll run.
03:19Maybe it'll run.
03:20Wait, we have more barrels.
03:22Oh, there's a gasoline barrel!
03:23Okay, okay, this is big.
03:25This is big.
03:26Okay, the fuel tank is full.
03:28You, you, you are...
03:30You're impressing me right now.
03:31What the fuck?
03:31I died!
03:33No!
03:34Scott!
03:35I can pick up your corpse.
03:37Hello!
03:38You're back?
03:39You're back!
03:40Rest in peace.
03:45Let's take him with us.
03:46We can eat him for food.
03:48Okay, okay.
03:49I'm feeling good.
03:50We should just, we should sleep
03:51and set off early in the morning, okay?
03:55Okay, it's daytime.
03:56We gotta go.
03:57Hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle.
03:58Should I take the cigarettes?
03:59Perhaps just one.
04:01Okay, here's the question.
04:02Will the engine start?
04:07Yes!
04:07Yes!
04:08Oh, we're moving.
04:10Dude, you got the gat.
04:12We're driving right now.
04:13Oh my...
04:14Dude, this thing handles like fucking dick.
04:16Perhaps we need the radio.
04:18Yeah, turn that son of a bitch on.
04:20Yo, yo, yo.
04:21It's Monday.
04:22I need you to do this tag.
04:24Three big dickheads.
04:25Is there something in the...
04:26Oh, I'm seeing something in the distance.
04:27What are you seeing?
04:29A tower.
04:29The tower thing?
04:31I'm seeing...
04:31Oh, I'm seeing...
04:32I'm seeing the genie lamp.
04:33Do you see that?
04:34Wait, really?
04:34No way.
04:36Can you rub it?
04:40Oh my goodness, it's working.
04:41Martin, come here.
04:42What?
04:43It's changing.
04:44It's changing.
04:44You show up?
04:45I'm schizomaxing.
04:47You're schizophrenic.
04:50And it should change for you.
04:54Oh, there it goes.
04:56Oh, that's cool.
04:59Bro, how long do we got to rub this thing for?
05:01I'll rub your head.
05:04I'll rub you.
05:05Okay, let's go, let's go, let's go.
05:07Uh, let me, let me, let me jump out of the car real quick.
05:09I want to see something.
05:10Where have you gone?
05:11You're, you're, you're fucking pitch black.
05:13I can't see you.
05:14Wait, you ready?
05:14You ready?
05:15Where are you?
05:16Oh my god, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you, I'm gonna get you.
05:18What's that red light up there?
05:20Oh, oh shit, there's a structure.
05:22We made it.
05:23We found you.
05:24Yes.
05:25Dude, they have a toilet.
05:28Dude.
05:28No way, no way.
05:32Okay, we should probably find-
05:33Oh my gosh.
05:35What?
05:35Oh, give me that, give me that.
05:37I want to shoot it, I want to shoot the gun.
05:40Oh my lord.
05:41Okay, it's only got, it's only got 30 bullets.
05:46Aw.
05:49This is an interesting looking weapon.
05:50Ah!
05:53You killed both of us!
05:55Unzip, you go to the urinal and you touch yourself.
06:05Oh.
06:06Okay, we respawned like next to it.
06:08Perhaps I should hold the fire arm.
06:11You the American should hold the fire arm.
06:13Oh my goodness, we got a new engine, dude.
06:16Oh wait, there's another engine.
06:17Oh my goodness, we have a spare in the back.
06:19I just noticed that.
06:20Like a spare tire?
06:22Yeah.
06:22Spare engine.
06:23Uh, spare tire.
06:24I've got a whole spare engine in the back.
06:26You can just do that.
06:30Oh, the engine worked.
06:31Yes, finally.
06:32Okay, let me, let me uh.
06:35Oh no.
06:36That's not how you open the door.
06:37Okay.
06:38Sorry, I don't know where I'm straight.
06:39We're going.
06:40All right, we're gonna, we're gonna just stick on this road until something interesting happens.
06:44Oh.
06:45Oh.
06:45We have a structure.
06:46That's a freaky looking structure.
06:49Oh.
06:49Do you hear that?
06:50I do.
06:51I have the gun.
06:52Oh, we got another car.
06:55I am just trying to be your friend.
06:59Oh shoot, there's another.
07:00Oh.
07:01Get his ass.
07:02Oh yeah, let's go get him.
07:06What are you trying to do there, bud?
07:08Wait.
07:09Damn, he's got a big ass.
07:11I don't remember telling you that you could run.
07:14What the fuck?
07:15That's freaky.
07:17Okay.
07:18We have another car.
07:19Okay.
07:19Also, we should, uh, we should sleep.
07:25This car, is this car functional?
07:28It is.
07:29How did that guy get this car in here?
07:31Oh, you can totally fit.
07:32Hold on, you got to close the door though.
07:37Wait a second, wait a second.
07:38I might be able to push you out.
07:39Come on.
07:40Yes.
07:40Yes.
07:40Yes.
07:41I feel like we should swap cars.
07:42This one's way nicer.
07:43Well, we could just both have a car.
07:45There's a bird.
07:48Where?
07:50Where's the bird?
07:51It was a bat.
07:51I shot the bat.
07:52Oh my god, who the hell are you?
07:53Hong Se-yong!
07:54Hong Se-yong!
07:54Squid game!
07:55Should I take this car?
07:56Yeah, you take that car.
07:57I'll take, I'll take the classic.
07:59All right.
07:59Let us go.
08:01Let us go.
08:02Oh my gosh, the handling, dude.
08:03Oh, it's so bad.
08:06Now send it.
08:06Full send.
08:07Go as fast as you can.
08:11You, you immediately spit out.
08:13You can't do any significant steering inputs.
08:16Oh my god, you are elevated a lot.
08:18Oh my gosh, I spun out.
08:20And my hood fell off.
08:21And my trunk.
08:23And my tire.
08:25Maybe you do need that.
08:26Uh-oh.
08:26Seems like I might be out of fuel.
08:28Okay, hold on a minute.
08:29Oh no.
08:30No fuel?
08:31Yep.
08:32Don't worry.
08:35Now no one can use it.
08:37We gotta get out of here.
08:38All right, we gotta go.
08:39Goodbye, car.
08:40Goodbye, sweet car.
08:42Well, that was short-lived.
08:44We had a new car for a little bit.
08:46We be driving long.
08:47That's all I can say for certain.
08:49I want-
08:49Ooh!
08:50Okay, here we go.
08:51Gas station.
08:52All right.
08:53There's a guy!
08:54There's a guy!
08:54Oh, oh, oh, oh!
08:56He's running towards us!
08:56I got it.
08:57Get the gun out.
08:58Get your gun out.
08:58Get your gun out.
09:01Well, he's dead.
09:02Oh my fucking god.
09:03Why was-
09:04Why was he running towards us?
09:06Why is his butt so huge?
09:08Okay, hear me out.
09:09Oh, oh, oh, do you see that?
09:10Do you see that?
09:11Ooh, yeah.
09:12Is that another border checkpoint thing?
09:14Structure thingy?
09:21Oh!
09:23I think that's it.
09:24I think that's it.
09:26Okay.
09:28All right.
09:28How's the car going?
09:29Can we dr-
09:30Can I drive the car still?
09:31I can!
09:32The door fell.
09:33Help, help, help, help, help!
09:35Scott!
09:36Put the handbrake on!
09:37I did!
09:38Oh.
09:39Back to the border checkpoint.
09:40To the border checkpoint we go.
09:42Oh, I can-
09:43I can sleep soon.
09:44I can-
09:44I can sleep right now.
09:45You know what I'm gonna do?
09:47Jesus, take the wheel.
09:48Um, um, um, um, um, um!
09:52Let's swap tonight.
09:54Oh, fuck.
09:55Okay, it's like early morning.
09:57Let me hop out.
09:58I've got us covered.
10:00Bravo Factor, I'm going in.
10:03Going in.
10:04What the fuck is that?
10:05Dude, I see a UFO!
10:06Down the road in the direction we were moving.
10:08Way up in the sky.
10:09You see that?
10:09Hold on, you-
10:10No.
10:11Come down, come down, come down, come down.
10:12Look, okay, see the power lines?
10:14Yeah.
10:14You see, like, a thing in the air slowly moving away from us?
10:17No.
10:18You don't see that?
10:22Hold on, we gotta fight, we gotta-
10:23We gotta catch that-
10:23Let's catch that thing.
10:24Speed, speed.
10:25Let's go!
10:26Go, go, go, go, go!
10:27I see it, I still see it, I still see it.
10:29I'll shoot it out of the sky.
10:30It's-
10:31It's gone though, it's so fast.
10:33Ooh, okay.
10:35A canyon!
10:36A grand canyon.
10:38Okay, well, damn.
10:40I- I don't know what happened, but we're back in the desert.
10:42We're back in the desert, and the UFO's gone.
10:45We're going this way now, I guess.
10:47We could also find a structure and take the easy way out.
10:51Why doesn't it shoot ourselves?
10:52Wow.
10:53Oh, what the fuck?
10:55Okay.
10:56Dude, did you see that?
10:57We did, like, a little flip.
10:58The car fell apart.
11:00Oh, I can't get in!
11:01I can't get in!
11:04When are we gonna find something?
11:06Yeah, this is the longest I feel like we've gone without finding anything.
11:08This is the longest we've drived.
11:10Where are we?
11:12Great question.
11:24Oh!
11:25No way!
11:27The engine fell out.
11:28The front fell off.
11:29Man, my dick fell out.
11:30Dude, I'm-
11:31The thing is covered in blood.
11:34Oh!
11:35I died.
11:36You died?
11:37Brother!
11:38Brother!
11:38Brother!
11:39No!
11:42Hello, brother!
11:43Hello, brother!
11:44Hand me the gun.
11:44Hand me the gun.
11:45Hand me the gun.
11:47Uh, I already died.
11:49My health is already-
11:50You fiend!
11:59And I died.
12:06Maybe we should try make a different-
12:08A new world.
12:08You wanna restart it?
12:09You wanna restart?
12:10I kinda wanna restart.
12:16Brother!
12:17Brother, we're back!
12:19Oh, we have a different car this time.
12:20Is it a good car?
12:21Whoa!
12:22Whoa, brother!
12:24All right.
12:25Any gas can.
12:2640 liters of alcohol.
12:2829 liters of diesel.
12:30A sex toy.
12:31Covered in cobwebs.
12:32Yep, yep, yep.
12:33I haven't used it since you told me not to.
12:36Oh, okay.
12:37I see a gas station way down the road.
12:40Oh, I see a structure.
12:41I see a-
12:42Like a house surrounded by a fence.
12:44No way.
12:45I just found something awesome.
12:48Yeah.
12:51What?
12:54The fucking katana!
12:55You live by the sword.
12:57I die by the sword.
12:59Okay, hop in.
13:01Oh, we're going.
13:02We're going hard.
13:04Oh.
13:05Okay, this car drives a little different.
13:09Hello!
13:10Hello!
13:11Hello down there!
13:12It's just a meat.
13:13Hold on, there's a big slab of meat.
13:15Come eat some of this-
13:16Oh, I fell down the well.
13:18Can you not get out?
13:21Oh, oh, do it-
13:22Do that again, do that again.
13:23I might be able to-
13:25Fuck!
13:25Oh no!
13:27It's so over.
13:28Bro.
13:29It is okay, brother.
13:31Jump out.
13:32Oh!
13:33Yes!
13:35I fucking launched myself out.
13:37I spammed space so fast.
13:39Oh, I died.
13:41Bro, we might have lost that good time.
13:43Yeah, maybe.
13:44Let us go!
13:45I'm gonna hit you with my car.
13:49Nothing happens.
13:52Never mind, something does happen.
13:56Dude, your body is stuck in my-
13:58In my door.
14:00Oh no, no!
14:02Scott!
14:03Scott!
14:05Who would not believe the things that I've seen today?
14:10Dude, this thing is so fast and it's way more controllable.
14:13It spins out much less.
14:14Flying.
14:15Yeah.
14:16Holy fuck, that's a lot of rocks.
14:19Okay, well-
14:20Something fell out.
14:21What is that?
14:21What is that?
14:22Several things fell out.
14:23Our sausage.
14:24No!
14:25The meat slab.
14:27Oh!
14:27It's a structure.
14:28Is it?
14:29Oh, it is.
14:30Oh, there's a-
14:31There's a car in there.
14:31There's a cool vintage car.
14:32Oh, there's someone in here.
14:34Someone in there?
14:35I think so.
14:35I got my gat.
14:37Do you hear them coughing?
14:39I hear them.
14:40You hear that?
14:40I hear them, yeah.
14:41I think-
14:41Hello?
14:42This is a bad spot to be.
14:43I found him!
14:45Oh no, he damages you!
14:46He's attacking.
14:47But I keep coming-
14:49Ah!
14:50Yo, he's a zombie dude!
14:51No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
14:54J-j-just keep distracting, I'll find something.
14:56He's coming for me!
14:57Come back here!
14:59Come back here.
15:01Oh my god, he's moving faster.
15:02He's running, he's running.
15:03He's sprinting!
15:04Help!
15:04I need your help.
15:05Can't fight a gun, dude.
15:08No, no, no, you don't, no, you don't, no, you don't.
15:10See if I can run him over.
15:15That doesn't do anything.
15:16Oh, oh, he's coming for you.
15:17He's coming for you.
15:19Scott!
15:20Scott, no!
15:20What is going on?
15:21Why won't he fucking die, man?
15:24I don't like him.
15:25I don't like him!
15:26Oh!
15:28Sit.
15:29Stab him in the trunk.
15:31Oh!
15:32Oh, I found an AK.
15:34Let's go.
15:34All right.
15:35I feel like we can get out of here.
15:36All right, brother.
15:37All right, brother.
15:37Let's eat it.
15:38Bro, we are in the Badlands.
15:39Look at this.
15:41This truly is a long drive.
15:42There's nothing here.
15:43Oh, I'm seeing something.
15:44Can you imagine having to walk?
15:45Way off.
15:46Fuck.
15:48We didn't need that wheel.
15:49Oh, no.
15:50Oh, no.
15:51We got-
15:52Oh, no.
15:52Oh, shoot, man.
15:54All right, sir.
15:55Put your hands up, brother.
15:57Yo, go make me act up.
15:59No, don't do it.
16:00Don't do it.
16:02The gat.
16:03Oh, no.
16:11I'm dying.
16:12I, Miliaman-
16:13It's over.
16:14Have stumbled across something crazy.
16:17Death, destruction at every site.
16:19A cigarette's still on fire.