Shawna goes back to Bunco! Things do not go as planned.... 😁
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Hey!
00:01Whoa, something looks different.
00:02Is it hair?
00:03Oh, I like it.
00:04Thanks!
00:05What are you doing Tuesday?
00:06Ooh, anniversary do-over?
00:07Do we need to do that?
00:08I would definitely do that.
00:09Okay.
00:10But that's not what I was talking about.
00:11Tuesday night?
00:12Well, Tuesday nights...
00:13Like, plural?
00:14Like, what do we do Tuesday night?
00:15Nothing.
00:16I want to paint.
00:17Oh, yeah.
00:18You haven't painted since I was pregnant with Max.
00:19Wow.
00:20You should definitely paint.
00:21Okay, but here's where I need your help.
00:22Problem to solve?
00:23Yes, please.
00:24Our kids are antisocial little weirdos.
00:25No, they're not.
00:26Don't say that.
00:27Okay, sorry.
00:28Bad joke.
00:29But doing Max's birthday made me realize I haven't done a good job of socializing them.
00:30Okay.
00:31They're great with adults.
00:32Yeah.
00:33Because they're the only kids in the family.
00:34Right.
00:35But I haven't made it a priority to make sure they have friends, so maybe I should.
00:36You keep saying, I.
00:37Well, yeah, because I've been on with them.
00:38I've been managing their social lives, so I feel guilty.
00:39It's we, baby.
00:40Okay.
00:41But that's what I'm saying.
00:42I want we to do better.
00:43We.
00:44We.
00:45We.
00:46We.
00:47We.
00:48We.
00:49We.
00:50We.
00:51We.
00:52We.
00:53But with people like them, yeah I want we to do better.
00:54So can you take Max and Piper to a dance class on Tuesdays while I take an art class?
00:57An art class?
00:58I am resty.
00:59I doubt that.
01:00And I want to be around art people again.
01:02Oh.
01:03Dance class?
01:04Yeah.
01:05Happy feet.
01:06Right.
01:07Penguins.
01:08Max too?
01:09It can hilt.
01:10Okay.
01:11Yeah?
01:12It's not too much?
01:13No.
01:14It's great.
01:15Art slash dance class on Tuesdays.
01:16Yay.
01:17Now show me your boobs.
01:18Okay.
01:19And also.
01:20Oh, there's more.
01:21What are you doing Saturday?
01:22It's okay with me. Are you okay?
01:24Yeah. I like everyone else.
01:26I'll just apologize for body shaming her and tell her I'm not trying to fuck her husband.
01:30Don't do that!
01:30Well, you said she probably thinks that!
01:32I was talking out of my ass!
01:34But if she does, everyone is thinking that!
01:35She wouldn't believe you!
01:36So? I can still say it!
01:38And if she's not thinking it, you'll put it in her head!
01:40Damn it!
01:41Just leave it. Leave it alone.
01:42Okay.
01:43Are you gonna do it anyway?
01:44I'm trying really hard not to.
01:46God, you're cute.
01:48Aww. You're cute too.
01:50Really?
01:51Mm-hmm.
01:52So, uh, what are you doing right now?
01:55Spanko, baby, let's do this!
01:57I'm so excited! You're going down!
01:59Bitch, you stole my hair!
02:00No, I didn't!
02:01Oh my god, I did!
02:03Not on purpose! I swear I'm not weird!
02:05No, it looks good!
02:06You ready to toss some dice?
02:07I'm ready!
02:08Hey, ladies.
02:08Hey, Ty. What are you-
02:10Don't worry. I'm not saying.
02:11You know Ty?
02:12Yeah. We're neighbors. Park buddies.
02:14Sean was my favorite mom friend.
02:15I thought I was your favorite mom friend!
02:17Ah! Sean was my favorite mom friend!
02:19I met as an adult! Quit twisting my nipple!
02:21Don't give away my title!
02:22Relax!
02:23Oh my god.
02:24Sorry. He's annoying.
02:25She's just jealous because I like you more.
02:27Shut up!
02:28Ah! So you know him through Julie?
02:30No, I've known him my whole life.
02:31We're cousins.
02:32We're not cousins!
02:33But our moms are friends, so kind of.
02:35Oh, so you're like friends' friends.
02:37Yeah.
02:37Now go away so we can play!
02:39Can I talk to you for a minute?
02:40Me?
02:40Yeah.
02:41Ugh, hurry up. I need to throttle some bitches.
02:43She's scary.
02:44Yeah, she's the best.
02:46So, what's up?
02:47Uh, how was dinner the other night?
02:49Good. Our anniversary.
02:51Oh, happy anniversary.
02:52Thanks.
02:53How long have you been married?
02:54Ten years.
02:54Nice.
02:55How long have you guys been married?
02:56Since we were 18.
02:57Whoa!
02:58Yeah. High school sweethearts.
03:00Aww.
03:01Speaking of, you can't talk shit to her like that.
03:03Ugh, I know. I'm sorry.
03:05She's not miserable. She's just not quick to warm up.
03:08Okay, I'll have to take your word for it.
03:10She's not. She works a lot, and she has this group, and that's kind of it.
03:13So, she's an introvert?
03:15No, she's particular.
03:17Okay.
03:18Is it because she thinks I want to fuck you?
03:20Uh...
03:21Because I don't.
03:22I don't think that's it.
03:23Has she even seen the two of us together?
03:24Yeah, a few times.
03:25No, that's...
03:27Oh my god, does she?
03:29No.
03:30She would have said something. No.
03:31I should probably go inside.
03:32Yeah, maybe.
03:33Good to see you. I promised I won't talk shit.
03:35Good to see you, too.
03:36Hey, see you at the park.
03:39Maybe.
03:39We can be friends.
03:40Your wife is mean.
03:41Alicia's mean.
03:42No, she's nice, and then she's scary. That's different.
03:45Okay, see you at the park.
03:46I have to go. People will think things.
03:48I think you care too much what people think.
03:50Quit talking. I'm trying to leave.
03:51Then leave.
03:52You're so annoying.
03:54Hello.
03:55Finally, my god.
03:56Sorry.
03:57Do you want a drink?
03:58Uh, sure.
03:59Shani, you remember Mel?
04:00Yeah, of course. The dental hygienist who cheats.
04:03I did not cheat.
04:04Yes, you did.
04:05You know what? You can get your own drink.
04:06No, I'm sorry.
04:08Don't apologize. She knows what she did.
04:10Hi. Sam, right?
04:12Yeah.
04:12And Julie's already sitting.
04:14Julie, you know Shana.
04:15Not really, babe.
04:16We've met a bunch of times. We know each other.
04:18She's friends with Ty.
04:19You know Ty always picks up the strays.
04:21Julie! Sorry.
04:22That's just Julie. You can't take it personally.
04:24Everyone keeps saying that.
04:26I've known her since I was five,
04:27and I have a tiny Julie doll fashioned out of Julie Harris
04:30from all the times that I felt the need to jump her ass.
04:32She's lying. She could never.
04:33Be nice to my friend!
04:35She's harmless, really. She's just not nice.
04:38But once you're friends with her, she'll commit murder for you.
04:40You guys are terrifying.
04:42I know. It's fun, Kel.
04:43It brings the crazy out.
04:44But we've never come to actual blows during a game.
04:46So I promise you're safe.
04:48Just not emotionally.
04:49Exactly.
04:50Sorry. So is all the trash talk for the game
04:52or are you guys just like actually mean to each other?
04:54It's all in fun.
04:55Okay.
04:56Even Julie?
04:57No, Julie's always grumpy.
04:59I can hear you, babe.
05:00Good, babe. Stop being a twat.
05:01This is an intimidating dynamic.
05:04Yeah.
05:04Now I feel bad for calling Mel a cheater.
05:06You should. You weren't even there.
05:08I'm sorry.
05:09Did she even cheat?
05:09Yes, she cheated.
05:11Wild chews is not cheating.
05:12You know what?
05:13You can't have any cheese board.
05:14No, not the cheese.
05:15Revenge is revoked.
05:16You're extra rowdy today.
05:18Almost like the vibe is off.
05:19Is it you in your mouth?
05:21No, babe. I think it's your girl.
05:22Okay, you're worse than usual.
05:24I have nothing to say now.
05:25Why am I wet?
05:27My water broke.
05:27Oh my God.
05:28It's early.
05:29I'll call Ty.
05:30This is inconvenient.
05:31Everything is soaked.
05:32I'll get you clothes.
05:33He's not answering.
05:34He's doing bedtime.
05:35I'll try him again.
05:35Here, babe. Wear this.
05:37Let's get these off of you.
05:38Do you need a rag?
05:39I'm gonna go.
05:40He's not answering.
05:41Okay, it's fine.
05:42He'll answer eventually.
05:43Can you take me to the hospital?
05:44I can't.
05:45What?
05:45I had half a bottle.
05:46Me too.
05:46I've had two glasses.
05:48We've all been drinking.
05:49I'll call him again.
05:49I could drive you.
05:52If you're desperate.
05:53I haven't had a drink yet.
05:56Fine.
05:59Are you feeling okay?
06:00I'm fine.
06:01Good.
06:02Why did Ty drop you off anyway?
06:04I asked him to.
06:04Not that you could drive right now,
06:06but were you gonna stay the night?
06:07Yes.
06:08Are you having contractions?
06:09I am.
06:10Really?
06:10You're making no noise.
06:11When I was in labor, everybody knew.
06:12I was loud.
06:13You're kidding.
06:14No, I was screaming.
06:16Oh.
06:17I'll stop talking.
06:24It's good breathing.
06:26Sorry.
06:28You make me really nervous.
06:29I kind of like just can't stop talking.
06:30I'm like blah blah blah.
06:32Like this.
06:33Sorry.
06:33Oh, come on.
06:35Is he still not answering?
06:36Sometimes Cooper needs to lay with us.
06:38Piper does that.
06:39I put my t-shirt on the giant teddy bear and it helps
06:41but at least half the time she wants us to lay with her.
06:44I just figure at some point.
06:45She'll be a teenager like she'll go off to college and
06:47she's hi.
06:48Dr.
06:48Baby doctor.
06:49This is Julie wild.
06:50Okay, my water broke approximately 30 minutes ago and
06:52I'm headed to the hospital.
06:55The pop and gush.
06:57Okay.
06:59That was my OB to fabulous.
07:01No.
07:01Well, I'm doing you a favor.
07:03Listen, I know we're not friends, but I need you to stop
07:05talking, please.
07:09Oh.
07:13We're here.
07:15I'll get a wheelchair.
07:18Shawna.
07:19Hey, finally Cooper was asleep.
07:21I did take him to Alicia's.
07:22Is she okay?
07:22She's in 1202.
07:23Okay.
07:24She was okay in the car on the way over but I don't know
07:26now.
07:26Okay.
07:27Hey, thank you.
07:27Sure.
07:28I know she's not nice.
07:29Hey, it's okay.
07:29I am not the center of the universe here.
07:33Yeah, I'm gonna go.
07:34Hey, if it's a girl, maybe we'll name her Shawna.
07:36Oh my God, please do not.
07:37I can't even imagine that conversation.
07:39What's your middle name?
07:40Anne.
07:41Yeah, a little boring.
07:42It's a middle name.
07:42I will see.
07:43I'm gonna head up.
07:44Me too.
07:44Hopefully they didn't tow my car.
07:45Oh shit.
07:46Did you park an emergency?
07:47Yep.
07:48Tell me move your car.
07:49Could you?
07:50Yeah and the rescue twice that namesake things looking a
07:53little more likely.
07:54I mean, I wouldn't say no.
07:56Let's just look good luck.
07:57I'll get these to the nurse.
07:58Thanks again.
08:00I'm back.
08:01Hey, how was it?
08:02Did you win the big bucks?
08:03Nope.
08:03I drove a bitch to the hospital.
08:05Whoa, Julie went into labor.
08:07Oh and I was the only sober driver.
08:09Damn Ty wasn't answering his phone.
08:11Jesus.
08:12So I drove a terrified prematurely laboring hater to the
08:15ER while chattering word vomit all over like the perfect
08:18storm.
08:19Yeah, you okay?
08:20Yeah.
08:21Do you know Julie from work?
08:23No, but she works for Marriott.
08:24That'd be a hell of a client to land.
08:27I'm an asshole.
08:28Why?
08:29No, you're not.
08:29Yeah, I think I am.
08:31I've been shoving friendliness down her throat.
08:33I mean you try to make friends.
08:35No, I tried to make her be my friend.
08:37That's the same thing.
08:38No, I wanted her to be my friend.
08:40I was in no way trying to be her friend.
08:42Okay, if I was trying to be a friend to her I would have
08:44respected one of the very obvious social cues.
08:46She was giving me and backed off.
08:48She's mean.
08:48I don't think you're at fault here.
08:50She is but I mean like Alicia's not mean but like intense.
08:54I think their whole friend group is just kind of like that
08:56not Ty.
08:56He's a complete goofball.
08:58I know it's like a bait and switch and I think it embarrasses
09:00Ty that she's like that and I think that's why I took it
09:03personally.
09:03She said hi to me.
09:04I think maybe she was networking, you know, like she's corporate.
09:07Oh, you can't be rude to the wife if you're networking.
09:10Yeah, maybe she likes male attention.
09:13I don't know.
09:13It doesn't matter.
09:14The point is I don't think there are people.
09:16Sorry, babe.
09:17Me too.
09:18I want to just all be friends.
09:19We can like go to the fair and barbecue on Sundays.
09:22Yeah, where are the people who want to make family friends
09:25as they raise their kids?
09:26Do those people exist anymore?
09:28I don't know.
09:29I wanted to be friends so bad that I made myself the center
09:32of the world and then got mad at her for not giving me
09:34attention.
09:34Well, you put it that way.
09:36How embarrassing.
09:37A little bit.
09:39Oh well.
09:40Back to the drawing board.
09:41Yes.
09:41So I love you.
09:43I know.
09:43I love you too.
09:44You can put your friendliness in my face all you want.
09:47Is that a euphemism?
09:48Oh, yeah.
09:49I'm not joking.
09:50I'm not joking.
09:52Okay.
09:53Come here.