I Tried So Hard Not To Laugh At This

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Things you didn't see at Match For Hope Charity match in Qatar!  KSI - Dirty 🎧 Download / Stream: https://lnk.to/KSI-Dirty Listen Now: https://youtu.be/VoDh1h1dPUE  SEND CLIPS AND IDEAS USING #ksitntl #ksireacts on X, TikTok and Instagram.   KSI X/Twitter Community: https://x.com/i/communities/149824990... KSI Discord:   / discord

Transcript

00:00£200 on the line for every time I laugh or smile at a clip.

00:05Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready?

00:06Are you ready for your Amazon gift codes?

00:08Well, before we begin, I got two announcements to make.

00:11First of all, this Saturday, depending on when you're watching this,

00:15UK people, your boy is on BGT.

00:18I am a BGT judge and I'm going to be judging all the talent in the UK.

00:24It's on ITV, be sure to watch it.

00:26Let me know what you think about my judging skills.

00:29Yeah, let's just say there's a lot of good moments.

00:32And second of all, your boy's fighting March 29th against Dylan Dennis.

00:37Be sure to get your tickets down below and I'll see you there.

00:40All right, let's do this.

00:42I'm ready.

00:43And yes, make your forehead jokes, OK?

00:45Yep, yep, yep, yep.

00:47It's not everyday, bandana man.

00:48I gotta give it a rest sometimes, if you know what I mean.

00:52But all right.

00:52I just had to let you know there was some creepy guy

00:55weirdly recording you in the store.

00:57Really?

00:57Yeah, it was really odd.

00:59I just had to let you know.

01:00Just keep a lookout.

01:01I can't fight.

01:01Where is he?

01:02You could fight.

01:03Yeah.

01:03Excuse me, sir.

01:04My sister just came back in town and I need a surpriser.

01:08Can you record for me really quick for her?

01:10It's for a surprise.

01:12She's right this way.

01:13I see where this is going.

01:16That's him.

01:22So you're recording me.

01:25So why are you recording me?

01:27I don't know.

01:28He just told me to do it.

01:29I gotta go.

01:30No.

01:30Why are you recording me?

01:32I'm like, wait, wrong.

01:34Was she going to hit him with the balls?

01:36I'm about to yell.

01:37I detach him from autism and every diagnosis put upon him.

01:42And I declare on three, every spirit attached to which

01:44she renounced, every spirit of autism and mental sickness

01:47must leave in Jesus' name.

01:49One, two, three.

01:52OK, I leave.

01:58What just happened?

02:01I don't know what just happened.

02:08There's people who actually believe that, man.

02:12No offense, but no.

02:13I've been holding on to hope that you'll come back when you

02:17can find me.

02:21No, nope.

02:23I'm like starstruck by your looks.

02:24What?

02:25We got to go on a date.

02:26Wow, thank you so much.

02:27Want to go on an apple date?

02:29Granny Smith apples?

02:30An apple date?

02:31Yeah, you want to?

02:31I don't even love Granny.

02:31Respectful fridge.

02:33So why are you eating it?

02:34Oh my God.

02:34Is that what kind of apple this is?

02:36Uh, hold on one sec.

02:38Respect for the bodyguard.

02:39That is crazy.

02:40What?

02:42What?

02:43Is this like a social experiment?

02:44No, no, it's like you're hot.

02:46Really?

02:46You don't want to go on a date somewhere?

02:47Low-key feel bad for the fridge.

02:49Y'all, so I was sitting here in Walmart, and I saw these two

02:51guys, Gary and Gary.

02:54I couldn't believe they looked just alike like this.

02:56One, the father.

02:57One, the son.

02:58Y'all tell me which one is which.

03:02Which one's Gary?

03:04Both of them Gary.

03:07Dad, how come we don't look a lot like them?

03:09That's awesome.

03:10Well, I'll be 65 this year.

03:12Bullshit.

03:14Bullshit.

03:15Wow.

03:16Hey, Alexa, pick a number one through 35.

03:19Here's a number between one and 35.

03:22It's three.

03:23Yes.

03:23Oh my God.

03:24I love her.

03:26Fuck Ash.

03:27I want to be married to her.

03:28I want to be married to her.

03:30Hey, Alexa, how old are you?

03:33I'm nine years old, but I've heard that age doesn't matter.

03:48Again?

03:51What?

03:54Wait.

03:56Shit, am I about to die?

03:58Yes.

03:59Yes.

04:00What's the worst trauma you ever been through?

04:02I tore my ACL right before a college trial.

04:05Yes.

04:06Yes.

04:08Worst trauma you ever been through?

04:11Yes.

04:16What's your most traumatic experience?

04:18I almost drowned when I was seven.

04:21Yes.

04:22Yes.

04:23What else?

04:26What's your most traumatic experience?

04:29Man, that probably had to be when my dog died.

04:31Yes.

04:32Yes.

04:34Yes.

04:38Sorry, this might be a dumb question, but where are you right now?

04:42I'm in the toilet taking a shit.

04:44I had Mexican food for breakfast.

04:48Really?

04:49Yes.

04:51It was that Mexican place.

04:53Yes.

04:55What book are you reading then?

04:56Book?

04:57No, I'm taking a shit.

05:00It stinks.

05:01Are you sure?

05:03Yes, I can smell it.

05:05I wish I was dead right now.

05:09You know, you shouldn't say those things so casually considering that I'm at your

05:13place right now and you aren't reading The Great Gatsby.

05:17Which book?

05:18I'm taking a shit.

05:20Are you with her right now?

05:21Who?

05:24Goodbye, Sam.

05:24Have a good life.

05:25Who?

05:28What a dumb bitch.

05:35Jack Black is a national treasure.

05:37Oh my god.

05:39Oh my god.

05:41Oh my god.

05:43Oh my god.

05:45Oh my god.

05:47Oh my god.

05:49Oh my god.

05:51I ain't never see that before.

05:54Oh, she's in the park.

05:56Come out.

05:58Damn.

06:00Wow, even the look.

06:06Ho, yeah, we're just out here doing our thing, bro.

06:11You know...

06:13Yo, fuck them.

06:14Laughter.

06:19Oh my goodness.

06:20No, that's your buddy bro, just carried on recording it said fuck him, ah, alright, that

06:37deserved a laugh, that was very good, alright, we're halfway through, we got one laugh, there's

06:42your 200, let's, let's put it there, yeah, right, right there, yeah, enjoy, music that

06:49touches people, I wanna make music that someone plays at their funerals, someone plays at

06:52their wedding, anyone that's dissed my mom, yeah, suck your dead great-grandpa, your dad's

06:56batty crease, rude boy, damn, that motherfucker thick, oh, shit, whoa, oh, I look like my

07:05daddy, but I'm built like my mama, something with your daddy for sure, more than 50-50,

07:10on the dad side, just a hair report, I got that back dope pussy, back dope pussy, what

07:17is back dope pussy, the pussy that's in the front is kinda played out, oh, you got back

07:22dope, yeah, back dope pussy, it's tight, it's tight, oh, that's ass, yeah, everybody

07:30like ass, stop playing, it's definitely back dope, you ever had back dope pussy, I have

07:35not indulged in it, what about the security, have y'all, no, okay, that's it, well, I mean

07:39I'm available, why y'all looking away, hey, look, look, straight man, what inspired the

07:44back dope coochie song, do you see this, this is what God gave me, that nigga scared

07:49the fuck out of me, oh, I'm sorry, that ain't coochie, that's dookie right there, that's

07:54dookie, back dope dookie, I strongly believe every child in the third world should be given

08:03an iPhone to make, no, when I see these photographs of children mining cobalt in the Congo to

08:16make iPhones, I just think, the resolution on this thing is fucking incredible, I get

08:27random thoughts, like, did God give chickens wings just for us, they don't even use them,

08:38they just working them out all day long, look at that wing right there, man, look at that

08:42wing, somebody gonna love that wing right there, man, you put some hot sauce on that

08:47wing, man, some salt and pepper, that's gonna be a good wing for somebody, man, my cousin

08:51got bit by a gay guy, so we'll see, fucking hell, the name of this fucking, is that not

09:10a bit racist, that, bro, what, oh my, oh my God, damn, why'd you have to do it to him

09:23like that, let's watch it again, that was pretty cold, oh, man, prayed, prayed his

09:33soul away, man, oh my God.

10:03Thank God my brain just knew the right way to go, whoo, and then he fully facepalmed

10:10him, imagine if that, yeah, fair, understandable, it's time to leave, man, try again next day.

10:22You're my best friend.

10:23Wow, thanks, man, hey, you know what, you're my best friend too.

10:25Cool.

10:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.

10:27Wrote a song about it, not gonna sing it or anything, because that would be gay.

10:31That's pretty gay.

10:32All right, I'll give it a shot.

10:36Wally, you're my best friend, together we can change the world, we've been together

10:44through thick and thin, playing ball and talking to girls, Wally, I'm so proud of you, I know

10:52you're taking all of my advice.

10:54Wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, what advice?

10:58Oh, um, it's just a song, dude, I mean, can I finish?

11:03Yep.

11:04And then we can.

11:05Oh, okay.

11:06All right.

11:07Oh my God.

11:08Done everything I've asked of you, and you never ever questioned twice.

11:12I might have to.

11:13He's talking about the greatest friend.

11:14Thank you for doing what I told you to, your achievements are also mine, my Padawan, you

11:26make your sensei proud, living your life, living your life, living your life to my design.

11:37That was the weirdest song I've ever heard in my life.

11:40You have listened to your elders.

11:42I'm older than you.

11:43Never forget the words I say.

11:45I don't like your song, it's so out of balance.

11:47You are a product of my creation.

11:49What?

11:50No, I'm not.

11:51I have shown you the way.

11:53Except for that you haven't.

11:54You haven't.

11:56You just say what you do.

11:57You're like the white wolf guy, just curl up through the planes of the camera.

12:01God damn it.

12:02Shut up!

12:04I have done all I can.

12:08The rest is up to you.

12:15Just off key.

12:16God damn it.

12:17Fucking Key and Peele, man.

12:19All right, enjoy.

12:20Enjoy.

12:21God damn it, man.

12:23It's only 400 quid.

12:24I go around sometimes and I hang out with other people that are my age and they're just...

12:33I'm just like, dude, like, oh my God.

12:36Can we talk about the political and economic state of the world right now?

12:43Yeah.

12:44Fair.

12:48What is that?

12:49Is that a hat?

12:50Why is he wearing Karlsruhe for?

12:53A helmet?

12:54God damn it.

12:55I'm sorry, but you can't travel today because your passport is out of date.

12:59Back down at Great British Air Check-in, this passenger has a problem.

13:02But no one can speak Chinese.

13:06Fortunately, Executive Passenger Liaison Officer Moses is quickly on the scene.

13:11Let me.

13:12I speak perfect Chinese.

13:16Your passport is out of date.

13:19Your passport is...

13:20Do crackheads say, I can't get high today because I'm broke?

13:23No, they make it happen.

13:25Don't let a crackhead hustle harder than you.

13:30Yeah.

13:31He's locked out the bathroom.

13:33He doesn't know.

13:34Yeah, he doesn't know how to get out.

13:35He's been scared.

13:37I don't know.

13:38I guess not.

13:40That's my buddy.

13:42Where did that fall?

13:46I know.

13:48I don't know.

13:49You don't know how to twist one?

13:51What the fuck are you guys doing?

13:57What the fuck are you guys doing?

13:59Let me get out.

14:00What's fucking wrong with you, dude?

14:01Let me get out.

14:02Is this your buddy?

14:03Let me get out, dude.

14:05Let me get out.

14:06Get out of here.

14:07Let me get out, dude.

14:08What the fuck?

14:09What the hell's your problem, man?

14:11Get out!

14:12Get out!

14:17What?

14:18Alright, well, I laughed twice.

14:20Pretty good for me.

14:21I'll see you lot in a bit.

14:22Take care.

14:23Peace.

14:26You gotta try harder than that, man.

14:28You gotta try way harder than that.

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