• yesterday

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Next question. What is the quantum mechanical effect used in code data on hard disk drives?
00:05Howard and of course the answer is giant magneto resistance, right? Hey, I buzzed in and I answered it's called teamwork
00:15Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions
00:18I am an engineer by that logic. I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal
00:26Just ask another one, okay
00:29What artificial satellite has seen glimpses of Einstein's predicted frame dragging and of course, it's gravity probe B
00:37Sheldon you have to let somebody else answer why because it's polite
00:43What do manners have to do with it? This is war
00:47Were the Romans polite when they salted the ground of Carthage to make sure nothing would ever grow again
00:53Leonard you said I only had to ask questions
00:55The
00:58Objective of the competition is to give correct answers if I know them
01:01Why shouldn't I give them some of us might have the correct answers to oh, please. You don't even have a PhD
01:07All right, that's it Howard sit down. Okay
01:10Right. I'm moving my infantry division
01:14Augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings
01:16We flanked the Tennessee Volunteers and the north once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg
01:22Not so fast remember the South still has two infantry divisions plus Superman and Godzilla
01:28Orcs are magic Superman is vulnerable to magic not to mention you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk
01:36Why don't you just have Robert E Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh? Are you guys ready to order? Hang on, honey
01:42Shiva and Ganesh the Hindu gods against the entire Union Army and orcs
01:48I'll be back
01:51Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer when the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps
01:58All right. My boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back
02:02Okay, first of all, what you call a gap was nearly three feet wide. I slipped and skinned my knee. Are you okay?
02:09Second of all the door to the stairwell of the other building was locked
02:12So I had to go down the fire escape which ends on the third floor
02:15Forcing me to crawl through the window of a lovely Armenian family who insisted I stay for lunch
02:21That doesn't sound too bad. It was eight courses of lamb and they tried to fix me up with their son
02:28Sorry not done by the time I finally got to work they give him my shift away. Yeah, that's right
02:33I've lost an entire day's pay. Thanks to this this time machine
02:41The lights flashed in the dish bins you want to try it
02:43I
02:45Don't want to try it my god, you are grown man
02:48How could you waste your lives with these stupid toys and costumes and comic books and and now that that?
02:55again time machine
02:59Please it's not a time machine. If anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades. I
03:09Had a nice time yeah
03:13Well, I'm good night good night
03:18Leonard yeah
03:20Was this supposed to be a date this
03:26No, oh
03:29Of course not this was just you and me
03:31Hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up because of work getting a colonoscopy
03:38Okay, I was just checking
03:41When I take a girl on a date
03:43and I do
03:46She knows she's been dated
03:50Capital D. Yeah bold face underline like day kid. I
03:58Think I might have a little concussion. I'm gonna go lay down
04:06So, how was your date awesome
04:14Score one for liquor and poor judgment
04:18Where's Christine in the shower, oh by the way, where did you get that loofah mitt yours reaches places that mine just won't
04:30You used my loofah more precisely we use your loofah I exfoliated her brains out
04:39You can keep that too
04:42Well, then we'll probably need to talk about your stuffed bear collection
04:48In here m'lady. Mm-hmm. There's my little engine that could
04:59Well, there's one beloved children's book I'll never read again
05:01Would you agree that the primary way we would evaluate either the success or failure of the date would be based on the biochemical
05:08Reaction during the goodnight kiss heart rate pheromones, etc. Yes
05:12Well, why don't we just stipulate that the date goes well and move to the key variable you mean kiss you now
05:17Yes, can you define the parameters of the kiss closed mouth, but romantic mint? Thank you
05:30So I count down from three no, I think it needs to be spontaneous
05:41What do you think you propose the experiment I think you should present your findings first
05:46fair enough on
05:48The plus side it was a good kiss reasonable technique. No extraneous spittle
05:54On the other hand, no arousal
05:57none, none, ah
06:03Well, thank you for your time, thank you
06:06None at all
06:16Leonard excellent. I want to show you something. Can it wait? I need to talk to you. Just look
06:21I've designed the perfect uniforms for our team
06:23The colors are based on Star Trek the original series the three of you will wear support red and I will wear command gold
06:31Why do they say a a army ants
06:36Isn't that confusing a a might mean something else to certain people
06:41Why would a physics bowl team be called anodized aluminum?
06:45No, I mean
06:47Never mind
06:49Check it out. I got you a Batman cookie jar. Oh
06:56What's the occasion well, you're a friend and you like Batman and cookies and you're off the team
07:06What
07:07Howard Raj, and I just had a team meeting. No, you didn't. Yes, we did. I just came from there. Okay
07:13I don't know where you just came from
07:14But it couldn't have been a team meeting because I'm on the team and I wasn't there ergo the team did not meet
07:20Okay, let me try it this way
07:22I was at a coffee clatch with a couple of friends and one thing led to another and it turns out you're off the team
07:29Why
07:32Because you're taking all the fun out of it
07:34Well, I'm sorry is the winner of the physics bowl the team that has the most fun. Okay, let me try it this way
07:40You're annoying and no one wants to play with you anymore
07:50Some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something
07:53It's called trestling it combines the physical strength of arm-wrestling with the mental agility of Tetris into the ultimate sport
08:00Yeah, that's terrific. But what they wanted me to ask you is to cut it the hell out
08:10We might as well stop it's a stalemate you're beating me in Tetris, but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler Elf
08:16Keep it up. I got to keep it right here
08:24Okay, it's a stalemate guys push if I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon
08:37Take a break guys
08:39What are you doing? Oh, you know just moving a time machine
08:45Yeah, okay neat but I really got to get to work so no problem
08:53Oh
08:55Hang on but what about your time machine some things are more important than toys
09:11I'm scared. Don't worry, baby. I've got you Oh Leonard
09:23It's
09:37Still my turn
09:44This is amazing
09:46Just sitting on a couch watching TV with a woman
09:49Not being drunk or high or or wondering if you're a dude down there
09:57Leo you are a very sweet really funny guy. You're gonna do okay one day at a time penny
10:09One day at a time
10:15How long is he going to stay here
10:18He's a homeless drug addict Leonard. Where is he going to go? Oh
10:22You have a lot to learn about lying
10:26Excuse me. Do you know anything about this stuff? I know everything about this stuff
10:31I
10:32Have my own wholesale flower business and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance with the one in my
10:37Refrigerated warehouse here by this one. Look, it's the one we're getting see happy guy
10:42She needs a point-to-point peer network with a range
10:45Extender, thank you, which hard drive do I want firewire or USB? It depends on what bus you have available
10:56I drive a Chevy Cavalier. Oh
11:01Dear lord
11:03Now penny this poor man needs me you hold on I'll be right with you
11:08What computer do you have and please don't say a white one?
11:12Okay
11:14We don't have that in stock
11:18But I can special order it for you
11:21him
11:23Excuse me, sir. You don't work here. Yes. Well, apparently neither does anyone else
11:30Sheldon we have to go why well for one thing relate for Leonard's birthday party and for another I told him to call security
11:38Good luck
11:41By the way, a six-year-old could hack your computer system
11:45One two, three four is not a secure password. Hey
11:49Her apartments on the fourth floor, but the elevator is broken. So you're gonna have to are you're just gonna be done. Okay, cool. Thanks
11:56I guess we'll just bring it up ourselves. I hardly think so
12:00Why not? Well, we don't have a dolly or lifting belts or any measurable upper body strength
12:08We don't need strength we're physicists we are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes
12:13Give me a fulcrum and a lever and I can move the earth. It's just a matter. I don't have this
12:20Archimedes would be so proud
12:28Do you have any ideas yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring
12:32Easy
12:40Okay
12:42Now we've got an inclined plane
12:44The force required to lift is reduced by the sign of the angle of the stairs call it 30 degrees. So about half
12:50exactly half
12:53Exactly yet
12:55Let's push
12:57Okay
13:01See it's moving this is easy all the math what's your formula for the corner what?
13:12Okay, okay. Yeah, no problem just come up here help me pull and turn
13:23Gravity thou art a heartless bitch
13:27You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual Congress with this woman
13:34Men do things for women without expecting sex. If those would be men who just had sex
13:41I'm doing this to be a good neighbor. In any case, there's no way it could lower the odds
13:49Almost there almost there almost there
13:58Watch fingers watch me. Yeah, I've got my fingers
14:08Hey Leslie careful Leonard liquid nitrogen 320 degrees below zero
14:22Why are you smashing a flash-frozen banana because I got a bowl of churros I couldn't find a knife
14:28So anyway
14:32Hello
14:36What are you doing just
14:39Extending the intimacy. Hey, do you want to slip over to the radiation lab and share a decontamination shower?
14:49Okay, what exactly do you think's going on between us
14:53I'm not sure but I think I'm about to discover how the banana felt
14:58I
15:02Listen Leonard neither of us are neuroscientists, but we both understand the biochemistry of sex
15:06I mean dopamine in our brains is released across synapses causing pleasure
15:10You stick electrodes in a rat's brain give him an orgasm button. He'll push that thing until he starves to death
15:18The only difference between us and the rat is that you can't stick an electrode in our hypothalamus that's where you come in
15:24Yeah
15:26Well, I'm just glad to be a part of it
15:30So what happens now, well, I don't know about your sex drive, but I'm probably good till New Year's oh
15:38Okay, thank you. Thank you
15:46You want to make plans for New Year's well Leonard, please you're smothering me
15:50New contest
15:52I am settling once and for all who is the smartest around here. Okay. Are you ready? Absolutely it on
16:00Marsha Jan and Cindy were the three daughters in what TV family?
16:09The Brady Bunch, okay
16:13Sammy Hagar replaced David Lee Roth as the lead singer in what group?
16:19The
16:22Brady Bunch
16:26Van Halen, all right. Madonna was married to this Ridgemont High alum. Oh
16:33My god Sean Penn, how do you know these things? I go outside and I talk to people
16:43Okay here what actor holds the record for being named People magazine's sexiest man alive
16:49William Shatner
16:53I don't think it's Shatner then. It's got to be Patrick Stewart
17:00No formal protest, all right singer who's saying oops, I did it again
17:19You

Recommended