Alamin ang mga hakbang kung paano mag-move on mula sa nakaraan at magpatawad

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Transcript

00:00I have a question for you, how long and how important is it for a person to move on?

00:07It's different sometimes, right?

00:08Forgiveness.

00:09Some people move on within a year.

00:12When it comes to forgiveness, how long can you forgive a person?

00:18Well, for sure, a lot of us are asking this.

00:22But you're right, Dianne.

00:24So to answer that, we asked for an answer from our life coach,

00:28Mike Celis, who is live here in the studio.

00:31Good morning!

00:32What's up, Mike?

00:33Nice to see you!

00:34Finally!

00:35We're always on Zoom.

00:36What's up, Mike?

00:37What's up, Mike?

00:38We're live here in the studio.

00:39Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

00:41Yes.

00:42But of course, some people don't have anyone with them on Valentine's Day

00:45because it's just a break.

00:46And they're asking, how long can you move on?

00:49How long is it?

00:50And can a person move on?

00:52What are your thoughts on moving on?

00:53So first of all, for those who don't have anyone with them on Valentine's Day,

00:57it's okay to move on, right?

00:58It's different for a person to move on.

01:03Because it depends on your set of experiences before.

01:07It's not even about the last relationship you've had.

01:10But rather, if there's a pattern in your relationships,

01:13is it repetitive?

01:15So in context, if it's repetitive for you,

01:19it will take longer for you to move on to something you've been through.

01:24So how long will it take for a person to move on?

01:27Like we said, it depends.

01:29But some people say that there should be one month for every year of togetherness.

01:34But I question that.

01:35I say, what if there's no one year?

01:37Right?

01:38How will we divide it?

01:40We'll have a hard time.

01:41But then again, it depends on when you'll feel ready.

01:45Because you cannot move on if you don't forgive.

01:48Ah, okay.

01:49So forgiveness is the key to really move on.

01:52Yes, yes.

01:53The key to moving on in this context, for our viewers,

01:57is that you have to be able to free yourself from anything and everything that's weighing you down.

02:03So it's hard when you're angry, or regret, or what could have been.

02:08Or you want to go back, right?

02:10So the goal is to actually forgive whoever has done you wrong.

02:14And forgive yourself too.

02:16Because sometimes we end up blaming ourselves for what happened.

02:18Actually, actually.

02:19Coach, is it really possible to forgive someone who has given you a lot of pain?

02:26Or someone from a toxic relationship who has traumatized you?

02:30How do you forgive?

02:32That's the hardest question.

02:34Okay.

02:35Again, it's different per person.

02:38If we're going to say, is it possible to forgive?

02:40Yes, it's very much possible.

02:41But how fast or how long?

02:44It depends.

02:45First things first is that you have to accept first what happened to you.

02:48Because more often than not, our first line of defense is,

02:52this can't happen to me.

02:53We've been together for a long time.

02:55Or I didn't see the signs.

02:57You have to accept first that it is what it is.

03:01Because you cannot resolve anything that you haven't really accepted to begin with.

03:06So after accepting that, hard as it may seem,

03:09you have to actually think about what's the silver lining behind it.

03:13Why did it happen?

03:16I have clients who have been married for years,

03:19and suddenly they would just part ways.

03:21So it speaks volumes.

03:23Because clarity does not come automatically when you need it.

03:28So sometimes you'll realize that I'm not with the right person

03:31because all these events are leading me to believe that we need to part ways.

03:36And it's okay.

03:38Let's not fight the process.

03:40But rather, we should find the good behind it.

03:43Is it because you're not getting what you deserve?

03:45Is it because you're not treated the way you wanted to?

03:49Or do you still have regrets?

03:50Or what could have been?

03:52So we should contextualize that.

03:54And after finding the silver linings in the relationship on why it ended,

03:59start from where you are.

04:01What people don't realize is that after a breakup,

04:05it doesn't mean that they're incomplete or incomplete.

04:09To begin with, each one of us, whether we're in a relationship or not,

04:13we are complete and we matter.

04:15So it's very important to take back that power

04:18from the person who once broke your heart

04:20as you start having your own breakthroughs.

04:23I took notes.

04:25Noted.

04:27You need acceptance,

04:29and then find the silver lining,

04:31and then start from where you are.

04:33But you know, talking about moving on,

04:35the concept of a rebound relationship,

04:37it's happening, Coach Mike, right?

04:39I feel incomplete.

04:41I don't deserve this.

04:43The strategy is to jump on others.

04:45I immediately jumped on others who love me.

04:47Is that okay?

04:49Okay. It's not okay.

04:51Of course, because it wouldn't be fair to yourself

04:53because you're shortchanging yourself

04:56to eventually find the relationship that you deserve.

04:59Because every time that you're in pain,

05:01or you're not healed from a previous trauma or pain,

05:05you project it.

05:07Meaning, you just want the easy way out.

05:10And it's not surprising if you end up

05:12with the same kind of person again

05:14because you didn't process it.

05:16Remember, our pain attracts people

05:19who would actually make that pain worse

05:21if you haven't healed from it.

05:23So it's not okay to have a rebound relationship

05:25for yourself and for the other person

05:27because you would be unfair.

05:29If he's offering himself 100%,

05:31you're at 50%, but you're still doing it.

05:34It's not going to work.

05:36For those who are watching this

05:38and it's almost Valentine's Day,

05:41what's your message to them?

05:44It's very nice to take time for yourself first.

05:49It's okay to be single.

05:51Do not fall into the pressure of being with someone

05:54or waiting for someone to give you flowers.

05:57You can buy your own flowers.

05:59I can buy myself flowers.

06:00That's what Miley said.

06:02You can buy your own flowers and still be happy.

06:05Take this time to work on yourself.

06:07Become better so that eventually

06:09when you become your own hashtag best me ever,

06:11you end up with the person that you deserve the most.

06:15Maybe those who want to coach you

06:17on your social media accounts, go ahead.

06:20Right now, I'd like to invite everyone

06:24to follow me on my social media accounts.

06:27Visit www.coach-mikecellis.com

06:31My new programs are still open.

06:34If you can visit this Valentine's Day,

06:36we have a promo for singles.

06:39Oh, that's good.

06:41Go to the streaming salon

06:43to get your pampering sessions.

06:48Ayala Mall, Manila Bay, and Vista Mall.

06:50Thank you, Mike Cellis,

06:52our guest live coach for today.

06:54Thanks, Mike.

06:55In advance, happy Valentine's Day.

06:57Thank you so much.

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Transcript

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