Acharya Prashant listens to a successful Indian man with dating troubles. Then we are given dating wisdom that enlightens us about love, sex, and marriage.
💯 Wisdom Quote: “True love always involves three. You, me, and the sky.”
Watch this wisdom video about why women don't pay on dates. And why Indian dating is broken.
00:00 Indian Dating Versus American Dating
00:20 Dating Indian Women
00:56 Examine Your Actions
01:03 Lonely After Sex
01:53 True Love
02:13 Getting Sex
02:36 Should You Marry?
02:58 Episode 1 Teaser
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
📱 Wisdom App: Download the free Acharya Prashant app:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.acharyaprashant.apbooks
💬 Contact the Foundation:
https://acharyaprashant.org/enquiry?formid=202
Or call: +91 96505 85100 / +91 96437 50710
📙 For learning Vedanta, Upanishads, Gita and other scriptures from Acharya Prashant:
https://acharyaprashant.org/online-courses
Or call: +91-96505 85100
👏 To meet Acharya Prashant:
https://acharyaprashant.org/camps
Or call: +91-96505 85100
More Free Wisdom and Spirituality From Acharya Prashant
Website: https://acharyaprashant.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdvaitAcharyaPrashant/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Prashant_Advait
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Acharya Prashant:
Acharya Prashant is followed by over 3 million people on social media. Acharya Prashant is an IIT-IIM alumnus, Ex-Civil Servant, and has authored over 50 books on the topics of Karma, Joy, Love, Marriage, Spirituality, and more.
Applying the lessons from these videos will help you overcome anxiety, relieve stress, drop fear, fully feel love, embrace your inner-peace, and live free! These are just a handful of the spiritual wisdom lessons from the great Vedanta Teacher Acharya Prashant.
Acharya Prashant is a non-conventional spiritual teacher. You will find no superstitions or false idols in his lessons.
Whether you want to learn to meditate, find a great career, or improve your emotional health, you can learn from this spiritual master.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trailer: Indian Dating is Broken [NIGHTMARE Dating in India]
https://youtu.be/KYRWPVHYF5c
Part 1:
Why Don't Indian Women Pay on Dates? [STARTLING!]
https://youtu.be/DdxyCoWXqZE
Part 2:
Are You BUYING SEX Without Realizing It? [Powerful]
https://youtu.be/hkoL17d0dhA
Part 3:
Why do I LOSE INTEREST After Sleeping With a Girl? [Real Talk]
https://youtu.be/3rFitw1eQEc
Pa
💯 Wisdom Quote: “True love always involves three. You, me, and the sky.”
Watch this wisdom video about why women don't pay on dates. And why Indian dating is broken.
00:00 Indian Dating Versus American Dating
00:20 Dating Indian Women
00:56 Examine Your Actions
01:03 Lonely After Sex
01:53 True Love
02:13 Getting Sex
02:36 Should You Marry?
02:58 Episode 1 Teaser
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
📱 Wisdom App: Download the free Acharya Prashant app:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=org.acharyaprashant.apbooks
💬 Contact the Foundation:
https://acharyaprashant.org/enquiry?formid=202
Or call: +91 96505 85100 / +91 96437 50710
📙 For learning Vedanta, Upanishads, Gita and other scriptures from Acharya Prashant:
https://acharyaprashant.org/online-courses
Or call: +91-96505 85100
👏 To meet Acharya Prashant:
https://acharyaprashant.org/camps
Or call: +91-96505 85100
More Free Wisdom and Spirituality From Acharya Prashant
Website: https://acharyaprashant.org
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AdvaitAcharyaPrashant/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Prashant_Advait
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About Acharya Prashant:
Acharya Prashant is followed by over 3 million people on social media. Acharya Prashant is an IIT-IIM alumnus, Ex-Civil Servant, and has authored over 50 books on the topics of Karma, Joy, Love, Marriage, Spirituality, and more.
Applying the lessons from these videos will help you overcome anxiety, relieve stress, drop fear, fully feel love, embrace your inner-peace, and live free! These are just a handful of the spiritual wisdom lessons from the great Vedanta Teacher Acharya Prashant.
Acharya Prashant is a non-conventional spiritual teacher. You will find no superstitions or false idols in his lessons.
Whether you want to learn to meditate, find a great career, or improve your emotional health, you can learn from this spiritual master.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trailer: Indian Dating is Broken [NIGHTMARE Dating in India]
https://youtu.be/KYRWPVHYF5c
Part 1:
Why Don't Indian Women Pay on Dates? [STARTLING!]
https://youtu.be/DdxyCoWXqZE
Part 2:
Are You BUYING SEX Without Realizing It? [Powerful]
https://youtu.be/hkoL17d0dhA
Part 3:
Why do I LOSE INTEREST After Sleeping With a Girl? [Real Talk]
https://youtu.be/3rFitw1eQEc
Pa
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00You're using your degree, your pomp, your money, almost to buy sex that night.
00:17You're using a human being's body, a woman's body, to satiate your lust, and now you're
00:26using me.
00:28Love sounds like fun, this sounds like work.
00:31If marriage is another name for long-term commitment, what exactly have you seen there
00:38worth committing yourself to?
00:41And then so that we may not be ashamed of what we have done, we say marriages are made
00:46in heaven.
00:58The last session was really deep, and I have a confession.
01:21I asked you here because there was something really important that I wanted to talk about.
01:29The night after the sex, when we got up, there was a word in the air.
01:36It was a scary word, at least for me.
01:40It was also a very common word, and that word was marriage.
01:49Part of why I wanted this chat with you was because I knew this video would get published,
01:54and it would kind of prevent that word from taking place.
02:00And then at the same time, there's also part of me that says, so what?
02:05Everyone else does that.
02:07So you used me.
02:11Same center, once it's a woman, once it's a man.
02:16Not really the same center.
02:20In fact, it's a good lesson here.
02:23You're using your degree, your pomp, your money, almost to buy sex that night.
02:39You're using a human being's body, a woman's body, to satiate your lust.
02:54And now you're using me.
02:57You made a choice that day, that night, by using one person.
03:09And now you are making another choice to use another person, to reverse the previous
03:17choice, or at least to prevent the fruit of the previous choice from materializing.
03:27To me that tells us something very important about choices.
03:32If life is a series of choices, as we said a while back, then each successive choice
03:38has to be made in a way that it corrects the follies of the previous choice.
03:50Because obviously no choice is perfect.
03:54You have a range of options to choose from.
03:57We rarely ever choose the highest because we do not even know that there does exist
04:02a highest option to choose.
04:05So we make some in-between kind of choice.
04:08And then there comes the opportunity to make the next choice.
04:10The next choice has to be made to better the previous one.
04:14Are you getting it?
04:18Which means that choices often, or probably always, have to be an act of negation.
04:28You have to choose to negate what you have already chosen.
04:33Because what you have chosen is rarely good enough, and almost never the highest.
04:43I do not know whether you would go ahead with the relationship.
04:48I do not know whether you would proceed with the marriage or whatever.
04:55It's for two free adults to decide.
05:04But surely I can say a thing or two about the right kind of company, the right choice,
05:18the right centre, the right union.
05:23It's bad enough to fall for a sub-optimal thing.
05:33That thing could be money, a car, or even a person.
05:39Excuse me for calling a person a thing, but when you are using a person, the person indeed
05:46is a thing for you.
05:52So the first thing, the first fall is that you make a sub-optimal choice.
05:57That's what we all do.
06:00And then, to top it, we consolidate that choice, we cement it and fortify it, we make it irreversible.
06:16That's why this word is a very important word, marriage.
06:38You are telling yourself that you are making a choice that is almost irreversible.
06:44Are you so sure?
06:47What are you committing yourself to?
06:54Not that sureness is not achievable, not that commitment is in itself a problem, but what
07:06exactly are you committing yourself to?
07:09If marriage is another name for long-term commitment, what exactly have you seen there
07:18worth committing yourself to?
07:22Have you seen anything at all?
07:25Are your eyes even open?
07:29And you say you are entering a long-term thing, commitment, contract, relationship, call it
07:34what you may.
07:35But it's a fad.
07:38Nobody does it, so we lie.
07:50And then so that we may not be ashamed of what we have done, we say marriages are made
07:55in heaven.
07:58It's interesting how a part of us, instead of correcting ourselves, wants to continue
08:17the flawed and fallen self.
08:20We need to be extremely cautious.
08:24We are born with an inbuilt enemy, and almost everything that we do, we do just to feed
08:36our own enemy.
08:40It's almost like having a disease, and eating the type of food that furthers the disease.
08:57That's how we live.
08:58We are born with a center of disease within us, and then we live and decide and choose
09:09in a way that results in growth of the disease.
09:19Most of that which we call as growth in life is nothing but the growth of the disease within us.
09:36The tumor is growing, and we say, wow, this year was an year of growth.
09:43And nobody asks, of what?
09:45Yes, yes, yes, there has been a lot of growth, 17.4% growth, so of what?
10:01You know what's interesting?
10:06If somehow I could have a similar discussion with the lady in question, her story, her
10:18description, her feelings, would almost mirror those of yours.
10:27She said the word marriage was floating in the air, it was floating in the air for both
10:32of you.
10:35Do consider the possibility that a part of herself is equally averse to the marriage
10:51word as you are right now.
10:55Do consider the possibility that when she was not paying up at the restaurant, or when
11:09she was acting the way she did on the Valentine's Day, a part of her knew the rottenness of
11:17it all.
11:21And she still continued with what she was doing, just as you continued with what you
11:29were doing in spite of knowing that all this is just rotten.
11:37So I wish the lady were here, and now that there is so much clarity, I hope, and the
11:48video is going to be published, if the next time you could request her to come over and
12:04participate in this discussion, the truth would shine even more brightly.
12:14Because one human being's story is not very different from the story of the other.
12:19At some place we are all victims of ignorance and maya, and we all operate from a false
12:27center albeit in our personal ways.
12:34You are operating from a false center in the man's way, and she is operating from a false
12:40center in the woman's way.
12:42And this false center is the conditioning we are born with and we acquire from outside.
12:47Do not be surprised if she says that she is massively relieved that the M-word is out
13:00of the equation now, and a part of her might disagree, a part of her might have been quite
13:11happy and eager to hitch up.
13:23Which wolf to feed?
13:26If you would answer that rightly, we would be winners in life.
13:35But it seems like wherever I've gone, India, the US, Europe, it seems like marriage is
13:39just thrust down your throat, that this is what you aspire to, whether you're a man or
13:46a woman.
13:48When you say that, you almost say that there are things that are not thrust down your throat.
13:59In singularly picking up marriage, why are you exonerating all other institutions?
14:13Has your institution not been, has your educational education not been rammed down your throat?
14:26Is it not a matter of common desire to have a high-paying job?
14:44And if it's a common and shared desire, how is it truly yours?
14:54So just as we get educated in the common way, just as we have our fashion choices,
15:07our sartorial choices, our food and dietary choices in the common way, similarly, when
15:17we turn 28 or 30, we choose what is commonly done, marriage.
15:28And obviously it doesn't stop there.
15:30Then you make the next common choice as well, which is to have a decent and cosy house to
15:38lay eggs in.
15:40And then you have kids, and then you do what is commonly done.
15:47And I want to ask, how much of the individual, the true self, is there in any of this?
16:01In the sense that had you not been told that there is something called an MBA, would you
16:10have still cried aloud for it?
16:17In the sense that if nobody tells you there is something called water, you'd still be thirsty.
16:25Society doesn't need to tell you that you need water.
16:27Biology will tell you, you need water.
16:31So biology is deeper than society.
16:33Now is there something deeper than even society and biology?
16:39Which even biology need not suggest to you?
16:42Okay, I'll give you an example.
16:47Can love be taught?
16:49Can compassion be taught?
16:52The right conditions can be created for love to manifest itself, but love by itself cannot
17:03be a taught act.
17:05Mostly for us it is a taught act.
17:12Our definitions of love, our images of love, they are all imported and imbibed images.
17:23But it is possible, at least theoretically, that even if nobody tells you what true love
17:29is, you still do come upon it.
17:37The chances are one in a million, but it still can happen.
17:45And by true love you mean the aspiration to raise, rather than...
17:48The aspiration to raise.
17:51So I'm going to, maybe this is a smart aleck question, but didn't you read that somewhere
17:58or didn't you learn that from somewhere?
18:01I had to unlearn a lot of things, seriously.
18:06I had to unlearn a lot of things and I'm grateful to all the sources, the books, the people
18:12and the experiences that helped me unlearn.
18:17And I'm helpful to that within me that had the courage to unlearn.
18:23I'm thankful to everybody including that within me that powered the courage.
18:36A lot of unlearning is needed.
18:41I often say you need to learn love.
18:46By that what I mean is that you need to unlearn false love.
18:52And it's one mighty task, to unlearn false love.
19:01And by false love you mean the transactional love?
19:03The transactional love that both biology and society teach you.
19:09Society tells you go for the one who has degrees, this, that, money.
19:15Biology tells you go for the one who is likely to be more fertile in the reproductive sense.
19:26So you have to unlearn both of these, you have to defeat both of these and it's then
19:34that true love happens.
19:39And that's the entire purpose of life, is it not?
19:41To fall in true love and rise.
19:51So most if not all of the stuff that I learned or that's portrayed in the media, movies,
19:57is just perpetuating the cycle of false love.
20:04If I were to offer this to maybe someone outside of our conversation, he or she might not even
20:10get it, that what is this true love that you claim to be talking about?
20:16I guess I feel that it's such a daunting task.
20:22Internally it is the urge of your consciousness to rise, rise and dissolve.
20:31Externally it is relationship that uplifts, uplifts both of you.
20:41So saints, seers, they sang of love, they were talking of the internal love, your mind
20:53wants to come to a final peace, your mind wants to rise to a final peace.
21:04This ascension they would call as their love affair with the sky, there's the mind at this
21:12level and the mind must rise up to that level to come to a peace, and in rising to that
21:21level the mind just sublimates, very little of it is left, but that's at an abstract level.
21:37Really true love is about being with someone for the right reason, that someone, if anybody
21:59who is either helping you be better or is getting helped to be better.
22:10I know it sounds quite dry, it sounds very transactional, but that's the limitation of words.
22:19When I say true love involves betterment, we have such dry images of betterment that
22:29we just cannot associate love with betterment.
22:34Love to us has to be something colourful, musical, vibrant, whereas betterment is almost
22:48a doer, a very tasteless word.
22:59Love sounds like fun, this sounds like work.
23:02Betterment sounds like work, love sounds like fun, and to be honest love is serious hard
23:15work, love is not really fun.
23:21You need to learn to have fun in hard work, and that's love.
23:28In love you start loving the hard work and the hardship that comes your way.
23:39Hard work, hardship, and the benefit is more peace.
23:47The benefit is that you are not left what you are, not that you are not left with what
23:55you have, you are not left as what you are.
24:07By not left as what you are, is that reference to the forces of conditioning, the blind navigating
24:15through life?
24:23To see the life and the importance in that sentence, to not to be left as one is, one
24:39first has to see how upset and how miserable one is internally, and how beautiful is one's
25:05potential.
25:06You have to see these two things concurrently, what have I made of myself and what I can
25:20potentially be.
25:24To see what you have made of yourself you need to be in touch with the facts of your
25:29life very, very honestly.
25:33You need mirrors around you, and to see what you potentially can be you require some seriously
25:41good company.
25:42If you don't get that company in a human form, then you need company of books.
25:54You need to see how human beings so much similar to you have been in the past able
26:08to transcend their limitations and live lives extremely extraordinary.
26:22And when you know these two at once, and you juxtapose these two against each other,
26:33that's when a great dissatisfaction arises within you.
26:39Love is very closely related to that great dissatisfaction.
26:47You just cannot summon the will to love the peaks unless you realize how badly you are
26:59down in the dumps and how it stinks there.
27:08Both these things the ego abhors.
27:12It won't want to admit that it's down in the dumps and it does not want to take up the
27:21effort of the laborious, long-winded, steep climb to the peak.
27:32So we remain loveless and comfortably spend an entire lifetime without any real love.
27:49All we have to do is not admit, not acknowledge the lovelessness in our lives.
27:59Self-deception is cool, facile, and there are, you know, deceptions of all kinds.
28:11You might know in theory what we have talked about over the last two hours because it is
28:24not something new.
28:30It has been spoken of again and again by the wise men over the ages.
28:40So you know all these things.
28:42You know, for example, that the person you sleep with must be a person who uplifts your
28:56consciousness.
29:00So what do you do?
29:02You play a dirty and an easy trick upon yourself.
29:10Knowing fully well that the primary reason for this togetherness is either ignorance
29:18or lust, you still tell yourself and the entire world that your husband or wife is your biggest
29:28inspiration in the journey of life.
29:36And if you're interviewed, you say, you know, I couldn't have done what I have done without
29:43my wife at my back.
29:47So it appears to everybody and probably even to yourself that you are in the right kind
29:54of relationship.
29:57All you have to do is proclaim, declare, who will be able to unearth the truth?
30:06Only you really know what's going on in your life, don't you?
30:11And the wife has to say, oh, I'm so lucky I had such a great husband.
30:20He always encouraged me to rise and shine.
30:26And when you say these things, then you feel satisfied that you have ticked another box.
30:33What is the fact of relationship that only you know?
30:41We are masters at this one thing, self-deception.
30:51So it sounds like the word that scared me, marriage, is basically just the form that
30:59physical nature takes to keep itself going.
31:04And we've helped it by coming up with songs and movies and chocolates and apps.
31:12Actually physical nature is not all that vicious.
31:15It didn't intend to do us so much harm.
31:18If you look at the physical, the animal world, there the male and the female are together
31:27for a while, their biological urges bring them together in the period of mating and
31:35then nature excuses you.
31:40Once that mating period is over, Prakriti says now the two of you can fly your own way.
31:50What man has is a double whammy.
31:54Physical forces bring us together and social forces keep us together.
32:03In the case of animals, there is only the biological force.
32:06It brings them together, they mate, they stay together for a week, for a month, for three
32:15months and then they're off.
32:19But isn't the human child different in that it's very vulnerable, it can't be left on
32:24its own and it needs nurturance and physical support?
32:29Love.
32:30It needs love.
32:32Without love what kind of nutrition or support can you give?
32:39So first of all the human child needs love.
32:44And if the relationship between the human male and the human female itself is not of
32:49true love, what kind of upbringing are you going to give to the child born as a result
32:55of this relationship?
33:02Sounds like we'll just perpetuate the old cycle.
33:08So what's coming up for me is that this is such a revelation, my eyes are opened and
33:14just wondering why is this knowledge not more widely known or taught?
33:20Because our bodies neither want this knowledge nor would allow this knowledge to be common.
33:32It's against the interest of prakriti for this knowledge to be widespread.
33:43Prakriti wants us to breed like rabbits.
33:49And if you are someone who understands life and self and love, you won't oblige prakriti,
33:57you won't breed like rabbits, you won't dedicate your life to the wrong center.
34:07So there is something within us that opposes, rather militates against true knowledge.
34:16And that's the reason why my favorite scriptures, the Upanishads, are so rarely read.
34:32I keep talking of them, I teach them, I run courses on them.
34:37My purpose is to bring them to people, but we would read fiction, we would read this,
34:45that even in the name of spiritual literature, we would read garbage.
34:50The market is full of garbage in the name of spiritual books.
34:56But we would not go to the kind of knowledge that really sets us free.
35:02It seems like, at least to me, this is one of the worst things in the world that garbage
35:07is being touted as spiritual knowledge or belief and that people doing really stupid
35:13things thinking that they're doing it in peace and love and compassion.
35:20Most of what we call as spiritual literature or what we call as spiritual understanding,
35:27all this peace, love, compassion business and the meditation thing, as they are prevalent
35:36today are extremely stupid.
35:40And that's the reason they do very little to alleviate our inner suffering.
35:49They just become convenient painkillers or we want to be anesthetized.
36:08Seems like when I came across you in Rishikesh, a lot of people come there to be anesthetized
36:15for a little bit and then go back.
36:19Stuff that doesn't make sense, like crystals and reading charts and all sorts of what I
36:25consider nonsense.
36:26Crystals and cards and so many other things in the name of spirituality.
36:36And we become spiritual and we continue to remain as we are.
36:43Ignorant and loveless.
36:51So I started off wanting this video to be published because I didn't want to get married.
36:58And now I still want this video to get published just in the hope that what you've shared that
37:08might impact and reach other people and save them from marriage and other things.
37:18It's not as if people need to be saved from marriage, people need to be saved from themselves.
37:24If marriage is companionship, there is a possibility that there can be a great marriage.
37:35If marriage is just another name for great companionship, it is wonderful.
37:43But then we do not know the right company.
37:48And that's the reason why marriage is often, almost always, the hell that it is.
37:58So it's not one particular institution people need to be saved from.
38:05If one has understanding, if one has love, then one could be possibly beautifully married.
38:19But then the occurrence of understanding and love in an individual is just so rare.
38:30Therefore good marriages are equally rare.
38:37What happens most of the time is that an individual, if he has, he or she, has understanding, wisdom,
38:46love, mostly sees no need to marry then.
38:56But in case such a person does decide to marry, the marriage would be beautiful.
39:04So it's not the institution that's to be castigated.
39:09We're talking of the individual, the centre we operate from, the centre we choose from.
39:19Since we choose wrongly in everything, therefore we choose wrongly even in matters of marital union or sexual union.
39:34It sounds like having the intent to educate the centre is very important.
39:38Yes, the intent to uplift the very centre you come from, the courage to admit that you
39:48are operating way below your potential, and the thirst to rise, that has to be there.
39:58What's scary, at least what sounds scary as I listen to you, is that if I've really listened,
40:05I've got to change how I live.
40:10That doesn't sound very pleasant.
40:12That doesn't sound very comfortable because it involves work.
40:17The principle in Prakriti is take the route of least effort.
40:28If you can get it without expending yourself too much, why bother?
40:38So that's the reason why the animal world does not have very deep codes of ethics.
40:52The larger animal will simply extract from the smaller animal what it needs.
41:10Within the same species animals bully each other.
41:16The little rabbit has the carrot, the bigger rabbit comes and snatches it.
41:24In some way human children are like that.
41:27So we want it using the minimum effort possible.
41:34Why do I need to go and dig out a fresh carrot for myself?
41:41Here is the carrot and here is the smaller rabbit, all I need to do is bully it.
41:48I bully it, I get the carrot.
41:50So we are designed to take the route of the least effort.
41:58Spiritual elevation, inner growth is some serious hard work, therefore the ego resists it.
42:08But then the fruits are beyond one's imagination.
42:14So I would recommend you go for it.
42:21And when you talk of these fruits I just want to, a lot of people doubt seemingly magical
42:28and mystical things as the fruits and my sense is that you are suggesting something.
42:34You won't start leviating, you won't start walking on water, you won't get paranormal
42:40powers.
42:41Yeah, that seems to be the common belief.
42:43No, no, that's not spiritual attainment.
42:46In fact in spiritual attainment you drop your fancy for any such thing.
42:52When you are not spiritually evolved, that's when you have a fancy for paranormal powers.
43:00That's when you want to have the power to just think and heal somebody in the next continent.
43:10So once you are spiritually evolved, you drop all this nonsense.
43:18Anybody who says that he has these kinds of powers or wants these kinds of powers is just
43:24displaying a proof of his spiritual bankruptcy.
43:29And again the cruel irony seems to be that the people with the fame and the following
43:35all espouse this type of unscientific superstition.
43:40Because in a loveless society, the most loveless one will be the leader, including the spiritual
43:47leader.
43:49In a society centered on ignorance, the most ignorant one, the most blatantly ignorant
43:56one will be the spiritual leader.
44:01Makes sense when you put it that way.
44:05If ignorance is your center, who's going to be the topmost one?
44:12The most ignorant one?
44:14The one who is not merely ignorant but is so shamelessly and arrogantly ignorant that
44:21he wants to propagate ignorance.
44:25He's going to be the topmost spiritual guru.
44:27So I know we've talked a lot and it's getting late, but if I can ask just one last question
44:33which is, how do I and others do our bit to move towards true love?
44:43We talked of it, right?
44:44It's an exercise in negation.
44:47You'll have to very dispassionately look at the choices you are living right now.
44:56And you'll have to negate those choices by making better choices.
45:04But you cannot have any betterment without very honest, very sharp, very penetrative
45:16self-consciousness.
45:19You need to know what is really going on and you must have the guts to admit what is going
45:24on.
45:25Yeah.
45:26So as they say, simple but not easy.
45:30Simple but not easy because we are accustomed to the complex.
45:36You give me a lot to think about.
45:46I will go back and sleep alone and ponder over this.
45:55In case you decide in the coming few days or weeks that this video need not be published,
46:03do not hesitate to let me know.
46:06I don't think that will happen, but I appreciate your offer.
46:12I want it to go viral.
46:25As you know, I was in the U.S. for the last 20 years.
46:36I came back about a year ago.
46:38I've just been stuck in India since then.
46:40There have been lots of experiences over here that are so different from what I experienced
46:44in the U.S.
46:45I downloaded some of these online apps to meet women and so I planned a nice expensive
46:49restaurant.
46:50The waitress said loudly, so it's declined again.
46:53I kind of felt embarrassed asking her.
46:56I think I wanted to show that I didn't need her help or something.
47:00You feel disturbed about what the lady did or you feel disturbed about yourself.
47:07What kind of empowerment is this that happily accepts dependence on somebody else's money
47:18on a date and also for an entire lifetime?
47:22She thought she was dating a man.
47:23We're not a man.
47:24We are a script.
47:25The possibility of love opens up outside the script.
47:29And then as soon as we finished having sex, I noticed I just wanted nothing to do with
47:33her.
47:35And I noticed in the morning, lonely and a little aloof as well.
47:39Sex is one of the strongest drives and energies in our lives, so it represents our values
47:47all the more.
47:48The person you choose to bear your body to is the person that best reflects what you
47:57value in life.
47:59How long lasting is the sexual pleasure?
48:01What does it leave you with?
48:02It leaves you with the need to get a shower and it leaves you with a stained bedsheet.
48:08Whereas if you spend a day with the right person, a day and a night, then you are left
48:16with something that might last your lifetime.
48:20True love always involves three.
48:24You, me and the sky.
48:27I think I'll change my dating profile to say looking for a threesome with you, me and the
48:32sky.
48:35You're using your degree, your pomp, your money almost to buy sex that night.
48:48You're using a human being's body, a woman's body to satiate your lust.
48:56And now you're using me.
48:59Love sounds like fun.
49:01This sounds like work.
49:02If marriage is another name for long term commitment, what exactly have you seen there
49:09worth committing yourself to?
49:13And then so that we may not be ashamed of what we have done, we say marriages are made
49:18in heaven.