Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00Donkey, down from there! It's past your bedtime!
00:07Oh, that's it!
00:11Donkey! What's going on here?
00:14Oh, hey, Shrek, I didn't hear you come in with all the smashing, bashing and crashing. Would you stop that, please?
00:20Donkey, Survivor Sherwood Forest is almost done.
00:24We need to get those little monsters to sleep quick.
00:28Have you tried reading them a bedtime story?
00:30Shrek, you're such a rookie. You've got a lot to learn about Chiron if you think these wild, fire-breathing animals want to listen to some tired old bedtime story.
00:39Rookie, eh?
00:40Yeah, well, beginner's luck.
00:42All right, drunkies, Uncle Shrek is going to read you a fairy tale. Who wants to hear one?
00:52Oh, great. Now what are we going to do?
00:55Well, maybe we could make up our own stories.
00:58If you want my opinion, that's a big waste of time. Ain't nobody going to fall asleep listening to some dumb old...
01:03Once upon a time...
01:06As I was saying...
01:09Once upon a time, in a land far, far away...
01:14Hey, shut the door! I got the air on!
01:23Give me a shot of your best milk.
01:26And a cookie chaser.
01:29Melting cookies? You monster!
01:36I'm not a monster!
01:38I'm not a monster!
01:40You monster!
01:45Just mosey along, little churro. This is between me and my afternoon snack.
01:51Fat chance, hairball. So long as I wear a badge, no cookies get crumbled in this town.
02:11That's gross. Let's draw.
02:18Tonight on Knights, the brave men in metal lay siege to the Castle of Injustice.
02:23I know you're in there, donkey. I can smell a criminal a mile away.
02:28Do I need to breath, man?
02:30I ain't no criminal. I mean, it's not like I scarfed a queen's vegetable garden, or took a bubble bath in the moat, or shat all over the royal sofa.
02:38Okay, maybe I did some bad things, but at least I ain't no crown prince of plastic surgery.
02:43Can it, donkey, or you and your family will be going far, far up the river.
02:49Aw, nobody messes with my family. Kiss my hairy hooves.
02:53Over my muscular and heavily-lotioned dead body.
02:58Sup, y'all. Welcome to my crib. Castle Day Gingerbread. The sweetest pat in town.
03:06I want to send a shout-out to the Muffin Man. He hooked me up with this blingin' doghouse.
03:12Hey, hey, you stupid mutt. Don't make me bite your head off.
03:16So what do you think of my sweet ride? This baby is one of a kind.
03:20Twin-cam caramel engine, rack and pinion stick-a-doodles, and butternut crunch pistons.
03:25And look at these kickin' rims.
03:31And icing on the cake is my giant gumball machine.
03:34Best of all, it doesn't cost a penny.
03:37Pluto, jump on.
03:40Oh, yo, hope you like the slammin' tour.
03:42Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go.
03:45Pluto, jump on.
03:47Oh, yo, hope you like the slammin' tour.
03:49Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go.
03:54Hey, what was that?
03:56Hey, dude, where's the party?
03:58Look what you've done to my beautiful house.
04:01I'm gonna knock you out.
04:06Look, we've reached the forbidden temple of Master Fu.
04:09Master Fu!
04:14You know, I just remembered I've got an appointment to get my earwax drilled.
04:17I better get going.
04:18Donkey, wait. You can't abandon your training now.
04:21You've come so far.
04:23Well, yeah, you know, I did spend all that time perfecting my hoof-and-mouth stance.
04:32Okay, okay, you're right.
04:34Master Fu, here comes the ultimate beatdown.
04:39I want my money back for those karate lessons!
04:42Oh, please. Where could it be?
04:48Next!
04:49Fu, I'm here to avenge my feeble friend.
04:53So, you have mastered the elusive Iron Heel in Bat-Kwano's time.
04:58No matter. Your chance of survival is zero.
05:04I am the thousand-year-old Egg of Destiny!
05:09Ah!
05:16That's it! I can't take it anymore!
05:26Excuse me!
05:29I mean, excuse me, sir.
05:32I hate to barge in here, but it's four in the morning!
05:36Wake up, bro! I only got ears for rock and roll, if you know what I mean!
05:41I said, can you keep it down?
05:44We haven't had a single night of peace and quiet since you moved next door!
05:49Hey, man, I can't chill out these hot riffs just so you can get your beauty sleep,
05:54because you ogres really need it.
05:57What?
05:58I said, too bad your wife isn't getting her beauty sleep,
06:02because she sure needs it!
06:05I heard that!
06:07Uh-oh.
06:08Someone's got to teach you some manners!
06:11Well, allow me to show you the door!
06:14Cut first!
06:15Chump, I'm going to knock you right off this block!
06:25Welcome to Friar Tuck's, home of the bacon double-fatty modesty burger.
06:29Breathing arteries won't clog.
06:31What can we fry you today?
06:33Hmm...
06:36Um...
06:38Hey, buddy, make a choice already!
06:40I'm starting to petrify back here!
06:43Timmy, she gets no...
06:45Whoa, slow down, pally!
06:47I speak five languages, but I don't know gibberish!
06:50Want to take another whack at it?
06:53Grrrr!
06:59Grrrr!
07:05We're closed!
07:11All right, I don't like the sound of whatever it is you're saying, metal mouth!
07:15So I'm just going to order you a knuckle sandwich with a side order of quack whoopin'!
07:21One man had a dream of bringing together the greatest chefs in the world.
07:26He created the most exciting cooking challenge ever!
07:31Let's meet our champions!
07:34Medieval Chef of Utensils!
07:37Medieval Chef of Cupcakes!
07:40And tonight's high-cholesterol challenger, Pumpkins!
07:44Let's find out what today's secret ingredient is!
07:50Hey, I ain't no secret ingredient!
07:52I've got a great recipe for rum roast!
07:56Hey, look, I'm past my expiration date, all right?
08:02It looks like we found it!
08:04The lair of the evil puppet master!
08:07This may sound, uh, less heroic than usual,
08:11but this place gives me the hippie gibbies.
08:15Well, now, that's almost creepy.
08:18Hey, Freddycat, don't tell me you're spooked by a goofy old puppet.
08:22No way, boss.
08:24But that, we get weirdo, makes me a little uncomfortable.
08:29Welcome to my laboratory!
08:34Have you come to donate your body to science?
08:40Fiend!
08:41Fiend?
08:42Your dastardly schemes will progress no further.
08:45We three champions will put an end to your treachery.
08:49Hey, guys.
08:52Marionette Castel Diablo.
08:55Ah, King.
08:58It is every cat's dream.
09:00Three new scratching posts and Garfields!
09:04Those stories are totally wrong, Donkey.
09:07You made me look like some kind of an ogre.
09:11Well, if the big stinky shoe fits.
09:13Besides, I ain't the only one who made stuff up.
09:15Don't look at me. Everything I said was true.
09:18Hey, watch it, termite boy. You could blind someone with that thing.
09:22Dear friends, why must we argue?
09:24Cannot we all just get along?
09:27Would someone please put the stupid cat out?
09:30Shh.
09:31Look.
09:33Oh, aren't they sweet?
09:36And as they filed out of the room, the drunkies didn't wake up.
09:41And they slept happily ever...
09:44Can it, announcer guy! Or I'll pound you into next week!
10:35Hey, dude, where's the party?
11:05Hey!