Everything is getting remade these days. Even Creed has been remade, leaving me asking: "Are there some classic horror monsters who could take a new movie higher?"
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00:00What's up, everybody?
00:01Griffey here.
00:02Everything old is new again.
00:04Walker, Texas Ranger, Scott Stab, The Wolfman.
00:07This got me wondering, are there some classic horror monsters
00:11that could use the reboot treatment?
00:13Tell them that I am God.
00:17The last big swing at bringing Dr. Moreau to life
00:19brought us a hilarious Marlon Brando performance
00:21and a horrendous film, but also one
00:24of the best behind-the-scene documentaries of all time.
00:27Script rewrites, actors dropping out,
00:30it's fire director sneaking back onto set dressed as a dogman.
00:34Check it out.
00:34The best version of this character
00:36is from a movie called Island of Lost Souls
00:38with the legendary Charles Lawton as the mad doctor.
00:41But that was almost 100 years ago.
00:43We need a version of this movie that's
00:44younger than me, for Christ's sake.
00:46We live in a world riddled with technology, AI, social media.
00:50A dark tale about people trying to escape to an island
00:53promising a return to a more primal existence
00:56feels like a no-brainer.
00:57And then the fact that said tale devolves into horror,
01:00well, that's just good cinema.
01:02I love the idea of this movie.
01:04As weird as it got, as hot as some of the hybrid people
01:07were, would you?
01:09Would you?
01:10What's in the dark heart of man?
01:12What's in the four stomachs of a cowman?
01:14How does a pigman wear his pants?
01:16Like this or like this?
01:18Hopefully, we will find out on the big screen at some point.
01:22No, Nansheep.
01:24Leave them alone.
01:25Evil kids.
01:26I love them.
01:27I have a few of my own.
01:28And The Village of the Damned is one of my favorite evil kids
01:31movies of all time.
01:33The story centers around a small British island where everyone
01:35passes out at the same time.
01:37When they wake up, they discover all of the town's women
01:40are pregnant.
01:41When the women all give birth on the same day
01:43to babies with Sith eyes and platinum blonde hair,
01:45a horror classic is born.
01:47These kids, all dressed like Angus Young from ACDC,
01:51are stone-cold smart and eventually
01:53develop psychic powers.
01:54This gang of children taking over the town
01:57and letting the grown-ups know everything they've always
01:59believed is over, putting them in a proverbial timeout,
02:02is terrifying.
02:04The fact that John Carpenter remade this movie in 1995
02:06with Mark Hamill and Christopher Reeves
02:09and that the movie was not good is mind-blowing.
02:13This remake could speak to the helicopter parents.
02:16What happens when all these kids we've
02:17tried to shield from the world become
02:19the perfect little overachievers we dreamed of?
02:22What happens when it's us that needs protection from them?
02:25I will never get tired of evil kid movies
02:27and would gladly buy a ticket to return
02:29to the village of the damned.
02:31Come on, answer.
02:36A gelatinous ball slowly rolling over everything in its path
02:39doesn't seem super scary except to my wife.
02:43That's the trick of the blob, which
02:45starts as a small ball of goo, eats one living creature,
02:48and gets a little bigger, then another, and another,
02:51until eventually you are talking about a kaiju of blubber
02:54enveloping everything.
02:56Like a jello terminator, you can't punch the blob,
02:58attack it with its own machete.
03:00You just have to run and hope there's
03:02enough room left to hide.
03:03And it absolutely will not stop ever until you are dead.
03:08You're using the Arnold accent, but it was Michael Biehn.
03:12Oh, that's right.
03:14That was my mistake.
03:15Sorry, Austria.
03:17The original blob is a classic, but the 1988 remake really
03:20upped the tear of this concept, making it
03:22a more Stallone, muscly, roided-out blob.
03:25Now the blob moves with the speed
03:27and cunning of a true predator.
03:29The upgrade in visual effects and gags
03:31makes it one of the best horror remakes of all time.
03:34While the communism symbolism of the blob
03:36may not scare us as much as it used to,
03:39I think we all spend a fair amount of time
03:41worrying about the loss of individuality
03:43in our digital age.
03:44As we are streamlined and made to be
03:46more productive and efficient, the looming
03:48monster of one never-yielding manifestation of consumption
03:52feels right for this age.
03:54I imagine fleeing a Zoom meeting in my boxers and slippers
03:57as this doughy menace is pursuing me,
03:59and it gives me the chills.
04:01From the depths of the mighty Amazon
04:03comes a creature to astound and terrorize the world.
04:06No.
04:06No!
04:08The creature from the Black Lagoon
04:09is my favorite universal monster movie.
04:12The Gill Man has had some success in more modern times.
04:15In fact, a version of the monster
04:17was one of the best parts of the Monster Squad film,
04:19squaring off with Bat Kid.
04:22So they called him Fat Kid?
04:23Yeah.
04:24His character name is Fat Kid.
04:26Also, a Gill Man creature even won best picture
04:29and got in the shape of water.
04:31While these are great, there is something I missed
04:33about being in the lagoon.
04:35I want a remake focused on this creature who is just
04:37minding his own business as his home environment
04:39is violated by humans.
04:41Whatever the human's goal, new drugs, deforestation,
04:44building a super luxury rehab, I don't care.
04:46I want to see the creature and man come face to face
04:49and realize they both can't win.
04:51Like an aquatic predator, but with underwater choppers.
04:54Ah!
04:59The Bride has become one of the most iconic creations
05:01of the universal monster catalog,
05:04despite being in the film for a shockingly brief window.
05:07Elsa Lanchester feasted on what she had to work with.
05:10The moment when she is unveiled and we
05:12see that beautiful white lightning
05:14stripped beehive hairdo, it's one of those images
05:17you see in a movie and you immediately just,
05:19that's a poster.
05:20That's a shirt.
05:21I would watch her in any movie.
05:22So many horror movies have done their own version
05:26of The Bride of Frankenstein based on this small
05:29but powerhouse performance.
05:31And no one has ever come close to topping Elsa Lanchester
05:35until Bella Baxter and Emma Stone.
05:37What I want to be the difference is
05:39that when you are brought together from dead bodies
05:42and forced back into a life by these guys
05:44that just want you to be someone's plaything,
05:47that shouldn't turn into a whimsical comical adventure.
05:50Let's call it angry things and just murder everyone.
05:53I want to see this woman open her eyes,
05:55slick back her white street hair
05:58and choose violence against a cruel world.
06:00The Bride is due for some blood soaked revenge.
06:06Really?
06:12Hell yeah, dude.
06:15That's my list of classical horror monsters
06:17who could use a new movie.
06:19Maybe if we're lucky,
06:20we can get Scott Stapp to play one of the monsters
06:23or all of the monsters.
06:24Hell, make it a musical scored by Creed.
06:26A boy can dream.