It's Showtime: DongPat, kinilatis ang breadwinnables! (And The Breadwinner Is)

2 days ago

Aired (January 2, 2025): Anu-ano ba ang hinahanap ng DongPat sa kanilang pangingilatis para malaman kung sino ba ang totoong stand-up comedian na breadwinner? #GMANetwork

Madlang Kapuso, join the FUNanghalian with #ItsShowtime family. Watch the latest episode of 'It's Showtime' hosted by Vice Ganda, Anne Curtis, Vhong Navarro, Karylle, Jhong Hilario, Amy Perez, Kim Chui, Jugs & Teddy, MC & Lassy, Ogie Alcasid, Darren, Jackie, Cianne, Ryan Bang, and Ion Perez.

Monday to Saturday, 12NN on #GMA Network. #ItsShowtime #MadlangKapuso

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Transcript

00:00Who is the real breadwinner of Stand Up Comedian?

00:02You will tease them, so come on, let's get closer.

00:09Look at each other, you can hold each other, we're saying goodbye.

00:12Then, we will give you a chance to ask them one question and one answer.

00:18No follow-up question, no follow-up answer.

00:20There, join us, Pong John Patrick.

00:23Of course, the Stand Up Comedian, you should see if his hair is real or not.

00:27Why stand-up? His hair should be real.

00:29No, because sometimes he does momohair.

00:34I miss this.

00:35I miss this.

00:37I'm here with Dong Pat for my music video, Rainbow Christmas.

00:44Thank you very much.

00:45Thank you too.

00:48So, what did you notice? When you were teasing Number 1, what did you notice about him?

00:54It's like...

00:55He's tired.

00:57Maybe he worked last night.

00:59I feel like he's more of a drag queen.

01:02He's a drag queen, because...

01:05Based on how he acts and his aura, he's a drag queen.

01:11He's a drag queen, not necessarily a stand-up comedian.

01:14Do you want to ask one question?

01:17Can he answer?

01:18Yes, he will answer one question.

01:20Because if I answer, I will be the contestant.

01:24It's okay, I'm always the last one.

01:29It's not like you're kissing here.

01:31No, they're just rolling around.

01:33That's not allowed.

01:34Yes, that's us. We're just eating cake and you're still calling us.

01:43Which chicken is the smallest?

01:50Chixilog?

01:52Wrong.

01:53The correct answer is chicken cube.

01:56Oh, so you're the real breadwinner of stand-up comedians.

02:03He didn't get it right.

02:04As a stand-up comedian, they expect him to know the answer.

02:07Because it's a basic joke.

02:10So, are you impressed? Not so.

02:13We're still checking.

02:14Let's go to the second one.

02:16Okay, let's go to the second one.

02:18It's Mr. Hans.

02:19Yes, this is a big margarine.

02:21Oh, it's Master Hans.

02:23Mr. Hans.

02:25It's Mr. Hans.

02:27The owner of pork and beans is Mr. Hans.

02:35So, what do you notice about him?

02:37He has a big cheese, right?

02:39Cheese or margarine?

02:42For me, he's like a Zumba instructor.

02:46If he's a Zumba instructor, what happened to him?

02:49His clothes can be colorful.

02:51Zumba instructor but only 2 minutes.

02:53He's very active for work.

02:55Yes, sir.

03:04Then, he'll eat.

03:05Yes, that's it.

03:06He'll eat.

03:08He's like a souffle.

03:10Maybe you want to ask him.

03:11He has a very tight turtleneck.

03:13He has a big roll of saliva when he's drooling.

03:16You know, when he's drooling.

03:18When he's drooling.

03:21Yes, sir.

03:23What do you want to ask him?

03:25What's your biggest tip in a performance?

03:30One hundred.

03:32One hundred pesos?

03:33Pesos or thousand?

03:34One hundred pesos.

03:36Biggest tip?

03:38One hundred?

03:39Sad?

03:40Maybe it's something else.

03:41Huh?

03:42What?

03:43It's been a long time.

03:44One hundred?

03:46Look, he's staring at me.

03:48He's staring at me.

03:49Maybe it's something else.

03:51What about me?

03:53I just woke up.

03:55I thought we were talking again.

03:57Maybe it's something else.

03:58Maybe it's one hundred thousand.

03:59Maybe it's something else.

04:00Maybe it's something else.

04:01Maybe it's something else.

04:02Maybe it's something else.

04:07Why don't you work for Vice Comedy Club?

04:09I'll give you a raise.

04:10Maybe he won't give me a hundred.

04:12You'll just be like,

04:13Madam People,

04:14Maybe it's something else.

04:17I thought he was going to shoot me.

04:19I was shocked.

04:20I thought you were going to marry me.

04:23So, what?

04:26What are you looking for?

04:28What do you want to see or feel

04:31so you can say,

04:32Oh, this is a breadwinner stand-up comedian.

04:35For me, a stand-up comedian

04:37should be able to stand up.

04:38No.

04:39You should.

04:40Just look at him.

04:41You'll laugh right away.

04:42He has a funny side

04:43or he has a light feeling.

04:45Because they know

04:46how to make the audience happy.

04:49Oh.

04:50That's true.

04:51Let's go here.

04:52Look at him.

04:53He's funny, right?

04:55Or am I funny?

04:56Why are you laughing?

04:57You're not doing anything.

04:58You're laughing.

04:59He has a light feeling.

05:00He has a light feeling.

05:01He has a light feeling.

05:02Don't make fun of him.

05:03What kind of light feeling?

05:04He's a superhero.

05:05He has an LED in his eyes.

05:06Oh, really?

05:07Yes.

05:08And when you look at him,

05:09it's like you're talking to him

05:10and he'll say,

05:11How?

05:12What is that?

05:13But he's funny.

05:14He's like a superhero.

05:15Yes.

05:16Right?

05:17Yes.

05:19Wow.

05:20He's like a magician.

05:21He gets ready so early

05:22just like the night of Parangal.

05:27He's like Horado.

05:28Horado.

05:29Horado.

05:30And his clothes

05:32are like for a different show.

05:34For a different show.

05:35What kind of show?

05:36Dog show.

05:37Dog show.

05:38He's like a stand-up comedian.

05:41Usually, when it comes to stand-up comedians,

05:43their clothes are simple.

05:45So there's nothing here?

05:46No, it's just simple.

05:47And who's in the lead?

05:48Who's in the lead?

05:49Number 2.

05:50You're not going to ask him?

05:54Ask him if he's a stand-up comedian.

05:57He can.

05:58He can.

05:59He can.

06:00Can I joke?

06:01Joke?

06:02What's your joke?

06:03What's your joke?

06:04They joke about weight.

06:05Oh, okay.

06:06What is it?

06:07How many rackets do you eat in a week?

06:13It depends on the turtle neck of comedian number 2.

06:18It depends on?

06:19Turtle neck of comedian number 2.

06:21Wow!

06:22No, usually...

06:24That's your answer?

06:25Sorry, you can't give a follow-up answer.

06:27One question, one answer.

06:30Okay.

06:31He's joking.

06:32They both have turtle necks.

06:34They both have turtle necks.

06:35But don't worry,

06:36yours are more prominent.

06:38Yes, yours are more prominent.

06:40He's talking to the people behind him.

06:42Yes.

06:43What did he say?

06:44No one will let go of you.

06:46You know what?

06:47Mommy Floor is sad.

06:48Why?

06:49Number 2's turtle neck is more prominent.

06:51But your hair is more prominent, mother.

06:53Yes.

06:54We're still with you, mother.

06:55Yes.

06:56His nipples are sticking out.

06:57Why?

06:58Why?

06:59Why?

07:00Why?

07:01Why?

07:02Why?

07:03Why?

07:04Why?

07:05Why?

07:06Why?

07:07Why?

07:08Why?

07:10Help me, Kandula.

07:12The leaders of Kuto will answer.

07:14What will they say?

07:15The leaders of Kuto will answer.

07:16What will they say?

07:17What do you mean?

07:18Ouch!

07:19Ouch!

07:20Ouch!

07:21Ouch!

07:22You acted so well there.

07:23Right?

07:24Erap and Jinguid will resign from your acting.

07:27Right.

07:28He's so good at acting.

07:30Kuya Bong said,

07:31I can blow the cake.

07:34Oh, yeah.

07:35I didn't say that.

07:36Why did you call me?

07:37I didn't say that.

07:40What?

07:41I don't know what to say.

07:42Say it first.

07:43Maybe it's something else.

07:44So we'll know if it's possible

07:45in the next movie.

07:46In the next movie.

07:49Maybe it's something else.

07:53Why are you laughing?

07:54What's your motivation?

07:55Do you know why I'm laughing?

07:56Why?

07:57He did that.

07:58But he didn't do it again.

07:59What did I say?

08:00I forgot what I said.

08:04What time is your school bus?

08:06What?

08:07Isn't it 8?

08:08Maybe it's 8.

08:09I still have work to do.

08:10My God.

08:11Why did you bring me here?

08:12I still have meetings.

08:13My God.

08:14Why did you call the principal again?

08:15I'll go shopping first, mommy.

08:17I heard you're going to school.

08:19There's a line on the way.

08:21Because it's popular.

08:39I'm sorry.

08:40I'm sorry.

08:41I'm sorry.

08:42I'm sorry.

08:43I'm sorry.

08:44I'm sorry.

08:45I'm sorry.

08:46I'm sorry.

08:47I'm sorry.

08:48I'm sorry.

08:49I'm sorry.

08:50I'm sorry.

08:51I'm sorry.

08:52I'm sorry.

08:53I'm sorry.

08:54I'm sorry.

08:55I'm sorry.

08:56I'm sorry.

08:57I'm sorry.

08:58I'm sorry.

08:59I'm sorry.

09:00I'm sorry.

09:01I'm sorry.

09:02I'm sorry.

09:03I'm sorry.

09:04I'm sorry.

09:05I'm sorry.

09:06I'm sorry.

09:07I'm sorry.

It's Showtime: DongPat, kinilatis ang breadwinnables! (And The Breadwinner Is)

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