Max and Pancho have been co-parenting since the split, and this year, they’ve gladly accepted the opportunity to share the joys and struggles of co-parenting with Smart Parenting, inspiring us all with easier-said-than-done parenting dynamics and leaving us with hopeful hearts along the way.
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00:00Hi Smart Parenting fam, I'm Max Collins.
00:02Hello, I'm Pancho Magno and in this episode of Usap Tayo,
00:06we're going to play Questions We've Never Asked Each Other.
00:11Okay, so what was your first impression of me that you have never shared
00:17and how has that changed over time?
00:20I'm very emotional, but maybe Max is a very strong person.
00:25That's your first impression?
00:26Yeah.
00:26He's a strong person.
00:28The best partner.
00:30So when you first saw me, you said, wow, she's strong and the best partner.
00:33Well, not all the time, but you know, most of the time.
00:37But a very strong, very goal-oriented.
00:47If you could switch lives for a day, what's the first thing you would want to do?
00:53Oh my gosh.
00:56I would want to eat a lot.
00:57I would want to eat a lot.
00:59Because you can eat a lot and not get fat.
01:01So it's so babaw, but it's something I'm so eager.
01:03Disclaimer, I work out a lot.
01:05Yeah, because he works out a lot.
01:07So every time he eats, he'll eat everything that he wants to eat in one sitting.
01:13And I'm so jealous by that.
01:15I don't eat rice.
01:16You don't eat rice, but you eat everything.
01:19What's your favorite core memory with Sky?
01:23There's so many core memories, so I can't choose one.
01:25But one that really sticks out for me was recently,
01:28like I was really stressed out about a lot of things.
01:31And then I was like, because he was giving me a hard time the whole day.
01:36And so he didn't want to sleep.
01:39And I said, baby, mommy's just sad.
01:41And then he started crying.
01:43And I said, why are you crying?
01:44And he said, I don't want you to be sad, mommy.
01:47That was like a really core memory for me.
01:50I'm always here if I have a baby.
01:52No, the fact that he said that.
01:54Even like, I always show Sky, mommy, that's mommy.
01:56Wait, I'll be the one to answer.
01:58No, the fact that he was hugging me, and then he said, don't be sad, mommy.
02:02And like, it was a core memory for me.
02:06What's my one skill that you think best for our co-parenting situation?
02:11Maybe the skill that I think you have that makes it fun and easier
02:15is the fact that you're so athletic.
02:18Because you and Sky have that in common.
02:21Because he's so energetic, and he kind of loves swimming.
02:26So I think that's something that you've passed on to him.
02:29And he loves sports now because of you.
02:32So I think that's a skill that has made it easier and fun.
02:35Because when it comes to me, he's tired.
02:39So it helps.
02:40That's the goal.
02:42What's one question you always wanted to ask me,
02:46but never had the chance to?
02:49I'm asking you.
02:50I'm dating someone, no?
02:52Okay, sige.
02:53Are you dating someone?
02:54Okay.
02:56Okay, thank you.
02:58You made it easier.
02:59I didn't have to ask.
03:01Okay.
03:08I feel like we've found a rhythm where we just adjust to each other's schedule.
03:15So if he's more busy, then that's when I will take the lead with Sky.
03:20And then when I'm busier, he'll take the lead.
03:23And then we trust each other enough to know that
03:26our son is going to be okay and well taken care of.
03:28So we try not to...
03:29Hindi kami nakikialam sa isa't isa.
03:31Parang, okay, sayo siya.
03:34I trust you.
03:35He's with his dad.
03:36He'll have fun.
03:37And then pag time ko with Sky, that's my time naman.
03:40Hindi siya makikialam.
03:41If you want to go out on trips or things like that, he's just supportive.
03:45And I'm like that with him as well.
03:46Kasi wala mo naman how much I support you, diba, all the way.
03:49So that's support na nagigay foundation ng family.
03:52And I just want Sky to be, you know, happy and super loving.
03:57So I hope na nakikita niya yun sa amin.
03:59And really, this is family.
04:01Her family.
04:02So yung dynamic namin is, like, bigger than ourselves eh.
04:06More like Sky.
04:07Yung love na yun, I don't think makawala.
04:10Maybe pag lalo tamatanda pa si Sky, that bond na sa amin dalawa.
04:14Even though we're co-parenting, I'm sure we're gonna support each other.
04:16Or love each other.
04:18And yeah, love your family, my family.
04:20And kung pwede siya sumama sa'yo sa Christmas.
04:23Planning to invite her this Christmas kahit na nagko-co-parent kami.
04:26Gusto ko lang ma-feel niya Sky na, I don't know where we're going to introduce her to Sky.
04:30But, I mean, having family kahit dito'y parang madaming tao, sobrang nagifil niya yung love na yun.
04:36So, co-parenting is sometimes nangyayari for the best.
04:41Co-parenting, it's not about the parents, it's really about the kid, no?
04:47The dynamic of co-parenting being unselfish, and loving, like, supporting each other.
04:58I think kasi we both come from, sorry, okay lang.
05:01We both come from broken families, so...
05:03Then we're broken too.
05:05Yeah, then we're broken as well.
05:06Okay, so yeah.
05:07We're trying to change that, actually.
05:08So it is what it is, but we can make the best out of it.
05:10We just don't want to have our son feel like...
05:14Basa, the most important thing for us is that he feels loved all the time.
05:18And he doesn't feel like he's lacking from his mom or from his dad.
05:24Buo pa rin siya kahit hiwalay kami, diba?
05:27Oo naman.
05:28Most of my friends kasi they're not really open.
05:30They don't communicate.
05:32Ako kasi I really try to be honest kahit alam kong medyo...
05:35Like, for example, may mga time na nagkasugat si Sky.
05:38Alam kong may hirapan ka from taping.
05:39But yeah, we don't communicate with her.
05:41Like, just be honest.
05:42Kasi it's hard naman knowing your kid na may mga, alam mo yun.
05:46But now, tingnan natin alam kung baka may tama na siya sa taas.
05:50Super kulit niya.
05:51We really try to be honest.
05:53Siguro yun lang.
05:53Kasi I always see this co-co-parenting style na...
05:56Parang there's no tag team pa rin.
05:58Kahit ano naman mangyari, always be gonna be Sky's mom.
06:02And always be honest.
06:04Sa'yo okay, Sky.
06:05So yun lang yung honesty.
06:07And then the trust that our foundation na I'm sure maano ni Sky yun pag lumangi siya.
06:12Yan.
06:17Parang he never asked us.
06:18No.
06:19Parang he's used to our setup.
06:22Like, he knows when he's in mommy's house, he's in mommy's house.
06:25When he's in daddy's house, he's in daddy's house.
06:27Ganun.
06:28So parang nasanay na siya.
06:29I think he doesn't see it as a flaw.
06:31He doesn't see like there's something wrong with that.
06:33But always make sure when malapit na yung birthday ni Sky.
06:37Pag gusto ko pablock na yun.
06:38Kasi gusto ko magkasama.
06:39Yeah, we always celebrate together.
06:41So siguro na dun na-exit si Sky na,
06:44Oh, it's my birthday.
06:45Mommy's coming.
06:46So excited.
06:47And the whole family naman excited.
06:49Because, you know, we're basically friends naman ni Max.
06:53Mga kakapatid ko kahit may sarili silang relationship even if before pa.
07:04I didn't have like, I didn't have a dad, like a present father figure.
07:07So that's why I'm happy that my son has a father figure.
07:11Kasi pwede ko naman sabihin like, no, he's mine.
07:14Like, I don't want to share him with you.
07:15But that's not fair to my son.
07:17Because it's, it would be nice for him to be with his father.
07:20And his father loves him.
07:21So he's lucky to have, he's blessed to have a father who wants to be in his life.
07:26I always make sure na if meron kaming timing na magkakasama kaming family.
07:30That's the best, even for me.
07:32Kasi once kayang nakikita na na, kasi na ako kasi, my mom.
07:36She got back together sa, nung 17 years old siya yung ex niya eh.
07:39So nagbalikan sila after 30 years eh.
07:41So, I'm not saying na magbalikan tayo.
07:42I don't know.
07:43Is there a chance?
07:44It's ah, nasa, ano lang.
07:47What?
07:47It's just another, I don't know.
07:49It's just another, I don't know.
07:50Reconciliation.
07:50Akala yun yung Max called me parang, kaya lang ba, two years ago ano.
07:55Gusto kong magka-baby, gusto kong magka-babae.
07:58Huh?
08:03Try not to let your ego get in the way.
08:06That's a big thing.
08:08And then.
08:09I look, I always look for the best in you naman, always.
08:12Kung ano yung reason ko, ba't ko siya pinakasalan.
08:15Yan naman din always kung tinitindan sa kanya.
08:17Kahit na nag-aaway tayo, or kahit magkaiwalay tayo.
08:19So, the best tips, um, always find the reason why you married this person.
08:25And now you have, meron tayong baby ng dalawa.
08:28So, I'm sure kahit na, ano mayroon.
08:30So, I'm sure kahit na, ano mayroon.
08:33But yung love na yun, it always goes a long way.
08:37Right?
08:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:39And communication.
08:41I think communicating is so important because I guess if you kind of find your,
08:46allow yourselves to find your own rhythm,
08:49then you'll figure out how you guys can work together if you talk.
08:52Because like, if you just don't talk, then hindi mabibuild yung relationship.
08:57So, if you want to build a healthy co-parenting relationship,
09:00it's good to be open.
09:01Like, we always talk.
09:02Like, we talk every day.
09:03But it's about our son.
09:04It's not, I mean, sometimes other things.
09:06But most of the time, it's about our son.
09:09But we have that healthy, um, communication going on.
09:14I think that's a good tip.
09:14I will sabang-sabang sa business.
09:16Okay, moving on.
09:19And that's it for today's video.
09:20For more videos like this, don't forget to like and subscribe
09:23to the Smart Parenting YouTube channel.
09:26Bye, guys!
09:27Thank you, bye!
09:30Bye!