These products are totally unnecessary. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the most useless infomercial products!
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00:00Introducing the Slobstopper, for get messy spills and unplanned accidents.
00:04Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the most useless infomercial products.
00:09Classic dogs, beef dogs, turkey dogs, veggie dogs.
00:14Number 10, Rejuvenique Electric Facial Mask.
00:18This battery-powered facial mask was invented in the late 90s by someone who, we can only assume, was a huge Jason Voorhees fan.
00:25The first time you position the mask on your face, you will likely want to use a mirror to help you align it properly.
00:31So what does this thing do once you put in the 9-volt battery and turn it on?
00:35Well, it does for your face what doing 8 sit-ups a second would do for your stomach.
00:39As the system advances from one facial area to the next, you may need to increase or decrease the level of pulsation.
00:46We guess not enough people wanted a facial six-pack, because this product is hard to find these days.
00:51Of course, that may also have to do with the fact that the product was never FDA approved.
00:55No face-ups for us, please.
00:57Never immerse it in water or rinse it under the tap.
01:00Number 9, Twirling Spaghetti Fork.
01:03It's probably appropriate that the woman demonstrating this ridiculous fork on the Today Show
01:07pre-faced the demonstration by declaring this item was good for children and lazy eaters.
01:12And this is great for kids or lazy eaters.
01:14Because if manually twirling the fork in your spaghetti noodles is that big a problem for you,
01:19then there might be larger issues that you need to deal with beyond getting a self-twirling utensil.
01:23And really, watching the brief demonstration,
01:25it doesn't actually look like it even works that well all the time anyway.
01:28Honestly, this thing seems like it would be more fun used on other foods,
01:32grabbing bites as it's spun by our mouths.
01:34So it's for someone who's not willing to go like this with their hand.
01:38Number 8, Eggstractor.
01:40The Eggstractor peels hard-boiled eggs instantly and perfectly.
01:43Is peeling a hard-boiled egg really that big a problem?
01:45Just crack it a little and peel.
01:47Or you could break out this two-piece plastic thing called the Eggstractor.
01:51Crack the egg a little, then push down on the accordion part.
01:53Usually more than once, if the Amazon reviews are to be believed.
01:56Until a mostly peeled egg pops out the bottom.
01:59Watch your kids have fun decorating eggs and then peeling them for a delicious healthy snack.
02:03Now, peel off the lingering shell and clean everything up.
02:06The infomercial hypes up the Eggstractor as being able to peel a hard-boiled egg
02:1010 times faster than doing it by hand.
02:12But that process doesn't sound 10 times faster to us.
02:15Call now and you'll get the patented Eggstractor for just $9.99.
02:18Number 7, Better Marriage Blanket.
02:21A blanket that can improve marriages?
02:23Sign us up!
02:23What does it do?
02:24Does it help pay the bills?
02:25Does it clean up after you so that your partner doesn't have to?
02:28Does it provide some sort of physical intimacy that you feel is lacking?
02:31Nope!
02:32It absorbs farts.
02:34It's the problem in the marriage bed that no one likes to talk about.
02:37Maybe that's why they call it silent but deadly.
02:41Yep, you heard that right.
02:42If the only thing keeping you and your partner from having a better marriage
02:45is less flatulent odors in bed, then good for you.
02:49Because for most people, relationship problems are not something a blanket can solve.
02:52Don't do that!
02:54What am I doing?
02:55Don't fart in the bed!
02:57Number 6, Comfort Wipe.
02:59The idea behind this product is that it makes it easier to, um,
03:02clean up after going to the bathroom.
03:04The comfort wipe is an extension arm that can grip toilet paper on one end.
03:08A button on the handle releases the TP when you're done.
03:11The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s.
03:15Because, we guess the theory goes, sometimes you just need 15 more inches?
03:20Now, we had read that the company behind the product discontinued it
03:23before ever taking it to market back in 2009.
03:25Think about it.
03:26Toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting.
03:29The comfort wipe is a modern solution.
03:31However, today the product is out there being sold.
03:34Although, the marketing has changed and is focused on appealing to those with limited mobility.
03:39So, maybe they found an actual problem it solves?
03:41Don't be embarrassed.
03:43Just get a comfort wipe.
03:44Number 5, Titty Bear.
03:46On the Titty Bear website, in big bold letters, is the question,
03:50does the shoulder strap of your car seatbelt cause discomfort on your shoulder?
03:53Um, no.
03:55Is your shoulder strap too tight and irritating?
03:57Um, also no.
03:59Introducing the Titty Bear.
04:01We're not saying a cute little teddy bear attached to our seatbelt and resting on our chest
04:05doesn't sound adorable.
04:06And we guess it could make wearing a seatbelt, as they claim, more fun.
04:10But is it really going to make driving more comfortable?
04:13Place it here or here or anywhere you need.
04:17We can think of better uses for our $9.95 plus shipping and handling.
04:21Also, is it just us or is the name of the Titty Bear
04:24a little creepily suggestive of where the bear sits on a woman's body?
04:28Now with the Titty Bear, I really enjoy traveling again.
04:31Number 4, Bear Scratch.
04:34You know the old adage, if it's good enough for a bear, it's good enough for us?
04:37Yeah, we don't know that one either.
04:39We don't swat fish out of the water.
04:40We don't hibernate for the winter.
04:42We have many other options when it comes to scratching our backs
04:45that don't include anchoring a large log to our walls.
04:48It gives you a deep, deep penetrating scratch.
04:51We totally get not being able to reach an itch and needing to ask our partner
04:55or grab a bat scratcher.
04:56Now that's a bear scratch!
04:58That is a bear scratch!
05:00We've also found ourselves on rare occasions
05:03desperately rubbing against the corner of a wall to hit the spot.
05:06But going full bear seems like taking a step too far.
05:10Bear size my order!
05:11How about that?
05:11Number 3, Happy Hot Dog Man.
05:14As any parent will tell you, getting kids to eat their food isn't always easy.
05:18And anything that can make dinnertime more fun is an invention worth checking out.
05:22It brings ordinary hot dogs to life, making lunchtime more fun.
05:26But why on earth would anyone put all their make-food-fun energy into hot dogs?
05:31Come on, really?
05:32Hot dogs are already the fun part of a meal.
05:34It's like a toy you can eat.
05:36Do we really need to slice them so that they can look like a Gumby-esque tube of meat?
05:39Maybe if it was Happy Broccoli Man or Happy Brussels Sprouts Man,
05:43then we'd have something to talk about.
05:44And we'll double the offer to four Happy Hot Dog Men.
05:47Number 2, Potty Putter.
05:50Whether you've just taken up the sport or been golfing for years,
05:53we can all use some help with our putting.
05:54Any spare moment you find ourselves standing around
05:57is the perfect opportunity to get in a few practice putts.
05:59Now, practice your putting every time you take care of your other business.
06:03Just aim and shoot the ball into the cup.
06:07But notice the key word there, standing.
06:09Of all the times and places to tap a few putts,
06:12sitting on the toilet isn't one of them.
06:14We aren't kidding either.
06:15Just think all that extra practice every time you visit the job.
06:19The OG infomercial for this product really does claim
06:23that all this potty practice will shave strokes off your game.
06:26Although we do want to give some props to whoever came up with the tagline
06:29in one ad we saw, get a hole in one while doing number two.
06:32That's gold!
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06:51Number one, Slobstopper.
06:53Bibs aren't just for babies, says the tagline on the Slobstopper.
06:57You know what?
06:58Yes, they are.
06:59The Slobstopper is a waterproof double-layered bib for grownups.
07:03The Slobstopper absorbs on one side and is waterproof on the other.
07:06But not just a little bib, more like a long smock aimed at commuters who,
07:11if the commercial is right, can't seem to drink a coffee in the car
07:13without spilling the entire thing all over themselves.
07:16Just slip it on and enjoy your busy lifestyle.
07:19These accidents lead to looks of disgust from passerbys,
07:22looks that transform into flirty smiles when the same commuter
07:25spills his coffee all over his man bib.
07:28Instead of getting a Slobstopper, just stop being a slob!
07:34What is your favorite wonderfully useless infomercial product?
07:37Let us know in the comments.
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