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00:00On your mark, get set, go!
00:04It's me, right?
00:15Didn't you have to flip it?
00:16Oh, we do have to flip it.
00:19Billy football is the winner.
00:20100 points will be going to Billy football.
00:31Welcome to Beer Game Show presented by Body Armor Flash IV.
00:38Rapid rehydration at its finest.
00:41First, the rules.
00:43There will be two rounds, three different categories in each round.
00:47Now, you must go with the lower point value before you go to the higher one.
00:53So, for example, you got to go challenges 100 before you go to challenges 200.
00:59At the end of round two, the two contestants with the highest score will go on to compete in
01:06The Legendary Beer Chasm.
01:09Round one, the categories will be challenges, questions, and do you know barstool?
01:18Questions.
01:20Questions, baby.
01:21What a fucking category that is.
01:23We got questions, hope you got answers.
01:26I love it.
01:27Billy football, you won the opening challenge.
01:30You have 100 points.
01:31You are in control of the board.
01:33Where would you like to go?
01:35I'm going to go with questions.
01:38The Florida Panthers won the Stanley Cup this season.
01:40Who won the Stanley Cup the season before?
01:44What a question.
01:45I have no idea.
01:46Barstool sports, but do you know puck?
01:48Oh, no, this is wrong.
01:50It's wrong.
01:51You can change your answer.
01:52I can?
01:53Yeah.
01:54He just looked at my answer.
01:55You're not locked in.
01:56I want you to zoom in and I did not see a thing.
01:59Also, I wouldn't trust this moron.
02:01As soon as he wrote my answer down, he was like, oh, I'm totally wrong.
02:05No, because this was the first year they were in the league, you dumbass.
02:08Marty, there's a lot of controversy.
02:09Let's see your answer first.
02:10Knights.
02:11The Knights, as in the Vegas Golden Knights.
02:14Billy football, Colorado Avalanche, Dana Beers, Vegas Golden Knights.
02:21The correct answer is the Vegas Golden Knights.
02:24Colorado Avalanche were two seasons ago.
02:27Oh, did you dart at mine?
02:29You darted at mine, didn't you, you fuck?
02:31I finished first, you fat fuck.
02:34Dana and Marty both got that correct, but I'm feeling sorry.
02:37I feel like Marty's getting teamed up on.
02:39For no reason.
02:40Marty, you're in control of the board.
02:41Where would you like to go?
02:42Do you know Barstool 100, please?
02:44What year did Chris Klemmer lose his virginity?
02:48Write down a year the person closest will win.
02:51Year?
02:52Yes, what year?
02:53He was born in the 40s, so 68?
02:56Stop, stop.
02:57He's an old man.
02:58He's a warlock.
02:59He could have been born in 1300.
03:01He could be born in 1980.
03:03We don't know.
03:04He's ageless.
03:06I feel like Klemmer has a fucking rope.
03:08He's got to have weight somewhere, you know?
03:10He's got a hammer.
03:12He lost his virginity when I was four.
03:151998 is Marty Mush's answer.
03:17Billy football, let's see your board.
03:192002.
03:20He lost his virginity when I was negative one.
03:221991.
03:23That would make him 11.
03:28He's the man.
03:29He probably was a fucking teacher.
03:30Can't you see him fucking teach?
03:31No, no, I can't.
03:33He's the last guy.
03:34All right, the answers are locked in.
03:36Let's play the clip.
03:371997.
03:38It was right after graduation.
03:40Fuck.
03:41Before half of you were born.
03:42And a boy.
03:43I am a real boy.
03:48Marty Mush, you won.
03:49You get the points.
03:51You're also in control of the board.
03:53In 2013, what was Dave's ringtone?
03:57Was it A, Katy Perry roar, B, Robin Thicke blurred lines,
04:02or C, Carly Rae Jepsen, call me maybe.
04:05I didn't even need the multiple choice, boys.
04:07Come on.
04:09Dana Beers, you seem very confident on that.
04:11Let's see what your answer is.
04:12You said C, call me maybe.
04:14Marty Mush, C, call me maybe.
04:16Billy football, A, Katy Perry, roar.
04:19The correct answer is C.
04:24You're killing it.
04:25Killing it.
04:26Marty and Dana both got that correct.
04:28But I'm liking Dana's confidence.
04:30I'm going to give him control of the board.
04:31Dana, where do you have to go?
04:32You can just do that?
04:33Yeah.
04:34What a crazy rule that is.
04:35You both got it right.
04:36Three in a row, you know?
04:37Marty got it right last time, so you got control.
04:39I like do you know barstool again, please.
04:41Do you know barstool for 300.
04:43This next employee, you see her bright and shining face
04:46every morning when you walk into the barstool doors.
04:48It's Ebony.
04:49We're going to be playing a little game of marry, fuck, kill.
04:51Out of you three, who does Ebony want to marry, fuck, kill?
04:55But first, for 100 points out of you guys,
04:59who does Ebony want to marry?
05:01Marty Mush, I'm going to want to see yours first.
05:05You said she don't want to marry you.
05:07Billy football, you said she want to marry you.
05:10Dana Beer said she want to marry Marty.
05:12Let's roll the footage.
05:14Marry got to be Dana.
05:15Got to be Dana.
05:16I feel like he got a long dick,
05:18and I feel like he'll touch my tonsils,
05:20and I would just, like, eat his ass.
05:23Say Marty?
05:24You!
05:25I have a tiny dick.
05:27What are you talking about?
05:28What's she talking about?
05:30She said me, I have a big dick?
05:32She thinks he got a long dick.
05:33We all got it wrong.
05:34She's in for a fucking surprise.
05:36She wants proposition me in the kitchen.
05:38Famously, Dana has said what?
05:41I just said I have a tiny dick, dude.
05:43It sits on his balls.
05:45I'll take it. I'll take that.
05:46You got long dick energy.
05:48You didn't have to go there.
05:49I'm sorry.
05:50I don't care. You can put that in.
05:51There's a second part to this question.
05:53For 200 points, who would Ebony want to fuck?
05:57I'm very confused.
05:58You have to drink that.
05:59She may have said this to multiple of us.
06:03Well...
06:04I've never had this conversation with her.
06:06I don't know what conversations you have with me.
06:08Officially on camera.
06:10We don't talk about this.
06:12I say, hello, Ebony.
06:13How are you?
06:14I say that, too.
06:15She's pregnant, also.
06:16I know.
06:17Not anymore, but still.
06:18For 200 points, who does Ebony want to...
06:22Billy football.
06:23You said me.
06:25Billy football.
06:26Marty Mush, you said you.
06:29Dana Beers, you said Marty again.
06:31It's the same answers.
06:33All right, let's roll the clip.
06:35Hopefully, this one is a little less graphic,
06:37but I don't think it will be.
06:39I probably have to fuck Billy football.
06:42I'll fuck the shit out of him.
06:44I'll let him squirt over my butt.
06:45I thought I was more of a Mary guy.
06:46I'll let him titty fuck me,
06:47and just let him teabag the fuck out of me.
06:49Actually, I respect Ebony.
06:50I think he might do push-ups in my ass.
06:53Oh, I'm getting wet just thinking about it.
06:55Oh, my God.
06:56Yeah.
06:57No, I'm serious.
06:58I'm getting wet.
06:59It's still going.
07:00I've heard it first.
07:01I've heard it first.
07:02I forgot.
07:03Her and Rhea are obviously very good friends,
07:05so she wouldn't disrespect her like that.
07:07That's fair.
07:08All right, so that means Mush is the odd man out.
07:10How does Ebony feel about Mush?
07:12Mush?
07:13Yeah, I'll fucking kill him.
07:14Who wouldn't want to fucking kill him?
07:15I'll fucking slit that motherfucker's throat,
07:17and just end it all real quick.
07:19Real quick.
07:20Respect.
07:21Fuck Mush.
07:22Who cares about Mush?
07:23Well, that kind of killed the vibe.
07:25All right, Billy football,
07:26you did get the last question correct.
07:28You're in control of the board.
07:29Where would you like to go?
07:30Questions.
07:31Do you know what?
07:32Do you want to do questions?
07:33We might get too drunk for the challenges.
07:34No, that's fun.
07:35Questions.
07:36Okay, questions 200.
07:38Who is this guy?
07:39Yeah, baby.
07:40He knows this stuff.
07:41Come on.
07:42I've never seen that guy.
07:43Who is this old man?
07:44Is he someone?
07:45That is a pointed question.
07:47Is he someone?
07:48We know politics,
07:49whoever the fuck that is.
07:50Maybe he's someone's grandpa.
07:52Maybe he's a pastor at a church.
07:54Looks like Bill Clinton a little bit.
07:55Yeah, actually, his brother.
07:57Fun fact.
07:58Whoa, whoa.
07:59Brother, brother, brother.
08:00I don't know.
08:01What's that fun fact, Billy?
08:02Go ahead and tell them.
08:03It actually has to do with beer.
08:05Really?
08:06His brother had a beer called Billy Beer.
08:09And he got a DUI?
08:11Yes, probably.
08:12Yeah.
08:13Is that the guy who killed someone in the field?
08:16Osama Bin Laden?
08:17No, that was the vice president, Dick Cheney.
08:19McCain?
08:20Ah, yes.
08:21Dick Cheney shot a man in the face hunting pheasants.
08:23Is that him?
08:24All right, everybody has their answers locked in.
08:26I'm going to go Dana Beers on this one.
08:27Dana, you had no idea.
08:28You were hesitant.
08:30Jimmy Carter.
08:31Oh, that's a good answer.
08:32Oh, you were bluffing.
08:33Wow.
08:34Is it him?
08:35Wow.
08:36Did he just die?
08:37Wow.
08:38Is it him?
08:39He's in hospice.
08:40He might be dead by the time this goes out.
08:41Is it him?
08:42Hopefully not.
08:43You guys put the dead guy up there?
08:44He's not dead yet.
08:45He's kicking.
08:46That's insane.
08:47He's kicking.
08:48Are we doing the reveal?
08:49Let's see yours, Billy football.
08:50You said Jimmy Carter.
08:51That's him?
08:52Marty Mush, what'd you say?
08:53Oh, good.
08:54What's going on?
08:55Reagan.
08:56Reagan.
08:57Is that Jimmy Carter?
08:58What the fuck?
08:59I just guessed.
09:00Yeah.
09:01Oh, my God.
09:02I just guessed the president.
09:03He doesn't cheat, huh?
09:04Is he over there, dude?
09:05Billy Carter, a.k.a.
09:06Billy Beers.
09:07Marty Mush.
09:08I'm not trying to kick a man while he's down.
09:09Couldn't be more opposite of Ronald Reagan.
09:11Jimmy Carter.
09:12No idea.
09:13Why?
09:14Is he a lib?
09:15Oh, yeah.
09:16Jimmy Carter.
09:17Big lib.
09:18Biggest lib ever.
09:19He was a patsy for the Watergate scandal.
09:20Is Reagan alive?
09:21Look that up.
09:22Watergate.
09:23Reagan's dead.
09:24Didn't fucking happen.
09:25How'd he die?
09:26How'd he die?
09:27Reagan's dead.
09:28I feel like, Dana Beers, you were very proud of yourself.
09:29I'm going to give you control of the board.
09:30You got that right.
09:31Questions.
09:32Let's get rid of these questions.
09:33We're going to play a clip, and you must guess who is the celebrity voice speaking.
09:37This is a clip from Lights, Camera, Barstool, episode 92.
09:42Oh, my favorite episode.
09:44Roll the clip.
09:45I'm very excited to be here.
09:46This is a thrill, and, you know, it's my first movie.
09:49That's it?
09:50Oh, my God.
09:51I know it.
09:52I know it.
09:53I know it.
09:54No more.
09:55No more.
09:56Oh, my God.
09:57I know it.
09:58One more.
09:59One more.
10:00I got it.
10:01One more.
10:02I got it.
10:03I got it.
10:04I got it.
10:05One more.
10:06One more.
10:07I got it.
10:08I got it.
10:09It's not a serious movie.
10:10It's not a serious movie.
10:11It's not a serious movie.
10:12It's not like Kevin Hayes.
10:13It does sound like Kevin Hayes.
10:14It does sound like Kevin Hayes.
10:15Put in Kevin Hayes's voice.
10:16That sounds exactly like him.
10:17What do you got in your hand?
10:18Three.
10:19Love that idea.
10:20The fat guy from Modern Family?
10:21I don't know.
10:22I got nothing.
10:23I don't know.
10:24Billy Football, let's see your board.
10:25Rax Romano.
10:26No, no, no.
10:27Ray Romano.
10:28Ray Romano.
10:29Marty Mush, Ray Romano.
10:30That is Ray Romano.
10:32as cool as Jimmy Carter. Challenges for 100 please. Challenges for 100! Spelling bee. A wise man once
10:37said spelling is the lowest form of intelligence. Agree with him. But let's see who here can spell.
10:43Marty Mush you are in control of the board so I'm going to give you the first word. You must
10:48spell it out loud. Your word is restaurant origin french. No joke this is one of the ones that
10:56really fucks me up. It's a tough one. In a sentence Rick Pitino loved the italian restaurant.
11:03Why do you say origin in french? Fuck me. Fuck me the origin is french.
11:10Restaurants. I thought you were like. What else would it be? I'm not kidding this is the one I
11:14can't. I never spell. It's tough. I always get this. Fucking spanish. What are you talking about?
11:17R-E-S-T. No I literally was like does he want him to spell origin. R-E-S-T. Fucking greek.
11:23Ristorante isn't that a thing? A-U-R-A-N-T. That is correct. Billy football you're up next. Let's go.
11:31Your word is committee origin english. In a sentence the NCAA rules committee did not like
11:43Rick Pitino. Comes from the latin root comitis. Yeah like that's gonna help you. Comitis comitatis.
11:52Yeah latin means a. C-O-M-I-T-E. That is incorrect. There are three double letters in that.
12:20Double M, double T, and double E. How did you go to a smart school? I was dyslexic. All right
12:26Billy football you do not get the points. Last but not least Dana Beers. Your word is
12:32et cetera. Oh I just saw this word today. Origin english. In a sentence hookers, bribery,
12:43having sex in italian restaurants, et cetera. Can I give you the small version? It's E-C-T.
12:49No no no you got to go full version. You said E-S-T. No. Et cetera. E-C-T.
12:57You can dig me if I'm wrong at any point. Ding. You're wrong. He got fucking restaurant and I got
13:05et cetera. What are we doing? Marty Mush is the only one. Well we got to go to challenges 200.
13:12You're in control of the board but challenge is 200. And ladies and gentlemen that is
13:19Stella Blue question of the day. That is the Stella Blue question of the day.
13:25What does that mean? That means. That's a challenge? You wonder why that wasn't in the
13:29question. That means if you win this challenge you will no longer have to drink beer for the
13:34rest of the round because you will be taking a coffee break. A nice delicious Stella Blue
13:40cold brew will be sitting in front of you and you get to sip on that. Stella Blue knows two
13:45things. Delicious coffee and dogs. So for this next challenge each contestant will be getting
13:52a treat and whoever Spooner the wonderful showbiz dog runs to will win the challenge.
14:00It's a dog. Oh. All right let's meet Spooner. Look at that dog. That's a good dog.
14:11Get down. This is she's gonna fucking hate Dana. What are you talking about? What's up kid to the
14:17dog? Wait I'm gonna give you 14 of them. You want them? 14. Oh fuck. I keep they'll keep coming. Relax
14:26Scooter. Spooner. Spooner. Gentlemen are you ready? All right Meek are you ready? Ready. Spooner
14:37are you ready? Meek drop the leash.
14:58No he stole that. He stole that for me. That was fun. He was coming to me.
15:03Oh my god. Yeah you cheated you motherfucker. Can we run that back? He came right to me and
15:11Marty. No well he smelled you first. You smell like ass. Smells my dog. He's an alpha. He's huge.
15:17Scared him probably. Dana beers you will be drinking delicious ice cold Stella Blue cold brew.
15:25Yum yum delicious. Can I get a side of beer with my coffee? Yes you may. Meek hit the man with the
15:31beer. To wrap up round one we have one category left. Challenges 300. Name of this game is head
15:38shot. Each player will be wearing a helmet with a water balloon placed on top. You'll be given a
15:43pool noodle. The goal is to use these pool noodles to break the opponent's water balloon. You must
15:47keep two hands on the noodle at all times. You know how to do that. The last player with their
15:54balloon still intact wins the round. First player to three wins wins. Fucking strap up boys. If your
16:01water balloon pops, you're out. Fight.
16:24Round two. Marty Mush is in the lead with one point. Fight.
16:31Oh you're so stupid. It is Marty one win, Billy football one win, Dana none. Three two one fight.
16:55Let him get let him get back in. It's all right it's all right.
17:01Oh Dana win. Dana win.
17:11All right boys we're all tied up one a piece. Three two one fight.
17:31Whoa whoa whoa watch the feet Billy. Watch the feet.
17:49Oh Dana's out between Marty and Billy now.
17:53He's touching his head.
18:02Look at the tape.
18:06Noodle on balloon. It's a clean point goes to Billy. No kicking. Yeah Billy watch those feet.
18:11Watch those feet. Yeah yeah if we see you kicking you're gone. Three two one fight.
18:23Billy's out.
18:32Right now the score is currently Billy football two, Marty Mush two, Dana Beers one. If either
18:38Billy or Marty win, it's over. Three two one fight. He's gonna get you dude. He's out. He's
18:48what are you doing? Yeah he's betraying you. Get him. Both hands on the noodle.
19:06All right boys that is the end of round one and after one round Marty Mush is in the lead
19:12with 111 points. Billy football second place with 800 points and Dana Beers the beer guy
19:19third place with 700 points. We're being transparent though it's not about beers it's about
19:24the friends we make along the way. It's about camaraderie brother. And
19:28athleticism which I'm third in. So after round one Marty Mush is in the lead and we'll be right
19:34back with more Beer Game Show presented by Body Armor Flash IV. Rapid rehydration.
19:40What's going on? Oh baby girl here comes the Mush Mush Mush.
19:58Your hair looks stupid and your tie dumb. Is the flux capacitor a real car part? How big is too big?
20:04real car part? How big is too big? Did we really land on the moon? If my dog was a
20:08human, would he vote for Jill Stein? Of course it's not a real car part! It's a
20:11movie! Is a thousand bottles of baby oil as well as a real car part?
20:16My dog is a human.
20:18The only thing I don't overthink is Stella Blue cold brew coffee. I don't
20:23think it's the best. I know it's the best.
20:27Welcome back to the show everybody! Today we got a very special guest.
20:35Alright, we are back with Beer Game Show presented by Body Armor Flash IV. Rapid
20:44rehydration and our contestants will need to be hydrated for round two
20:49because we've got more points and more beer. Now there are also different
20:54categories. Category one, auction. Next is game show. We put a barstool sports spin
20:59on your favorite game show. And the last category, but definitely not least, will
21:03be judged. Marty Mush, you won the last challenge. You are in control of the
21:07board. Where would you like to go? Judge 200 please. Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
21:12let's bring out our celebrity judge. You know him from reality shows. Snoop Dogg?
21:17He's a musician. He's an artist. He's one of the greatest thinkers of our
21:23generation. He's your mom's favorite comedian. Ladies and gentlemen, bring him
21:30out!
21:31My name is Tommy and I want the smoke. I got the Malibu mix with the coke. I got your back when it's up on the ropes. I swear to God that I feel like the goat. I got a stick and it's under my cup. Talk to your shit but you know you're the one. I got your bitch doing lies on the block. She got my back and it's all in her throat. I'm doing flips though.
21:45Smokes, thank you for joining us today. For 200 points, the funniest acronym on your whiteboard, make an acronym for the letters T-R-A.
21:59He doesn't even know what that word means, to be fair. It's not a fucking word. No, acronym. You know what an acronym is? Yes, you dumb fuck.
22:09Alright, Tommy Smokes, let's go through those. Our first one is Tommy's really awesome. Bit of a pander pic. Not really that funny because if you're saying like Tommy's really awesome and you're saying that's a joke, that's a little bit disrespectful.
22:25Tommy Runes Ass. They all went with Tommy once. Tommy Runes Ass in a gets pussy way. That's cool. That's extra. That's better. And Tommy Reels Ass in a asterisk ass. I hate all of these. I wish there wasn't a T for Tommy but I will have to go with Tommy Runes Ass.
22:49Yeah! Let me say none of them were funny. Sorry, we all know how narcissistic you are. Yeah, I would have thought pandering to the judge would have been the play there. We know you love yourself more than anybody. Trump runs America. That was good. Fuck, that's a great one.
23:05Is it my turn? Let's go 300. Funniest fake blog headline. For example, John Travolta homeless and selling blowjobs for TikTok followers. That's something you could do. Tommy, you like that one? I don't particularly think that's very funny. I don't either.
23:19Alright, first up. Where were you when Black Jack Fletcher punched Brian Fitzsimmons? That is a throwback to the audience, the 2019 Christmas party. I started a rumor that Black Jack Fletcher and Brian Fitzsimmons were in a fist fight. One of my greatest works to date. For those at home that don't know, Brian Fitzsimmons may be the nicest guy ever.
23:43Trump arrests pedophile Chris Divorce Clemmer for stalking outside of improv class. That's pretty good. The idea of Trump arresting Chris Clemmer personally does give me a good chuckle.
23:57Hawk to a girl shot by Rizzler in ICU. These are all pretty funny. These are all pretty funny. I have to go with the deep cut of Black Jack Fletcher and Brian Fitzsimmons. I have to. I told you that was a good one. That's a good one. I assume that's Marty Mush's. Yeah, it's a good one. Judge for 400, please.
24:17Marty Mush goes judge for 400. You must create your own Tommy Smokes Thursday Thought. Performed orally. The best way to perform. Thursday Thoughts are minute observations about daily life, a quick joke, a deep thought.
24:33My biggest fear of dying is having to make initial small talk with people in the afterlife. I got a thought. We'll have you go first then. Do you think the first guy who saw. And if I sense anybody's mocking me immediate. I'm not. Just that's just. I rushed it. I'll be honest. Can we have more time? No, no. You said you're ready to go. All right, Dana's ready. Dana, you have the floor.
24:57Do you think the first guy who came out of the water and said, can I go last? Easier said than done. Easier said than done. I actually need to know. What was the guy doing in the water?
25:20Do you think the first guy who said, come on in, the water's fine, realized he was going to come up with a phrase that everybody used in the future? Really bad. Really, really bad. Now, I like the potential of thinking of how a phrase originated. Yeah, that's just not quite it. I like the delivery, though. I'm not going to lie. I thought you were going to say that was the best thing ever. That is not what I said.
25:44Welcome to Tommy's volume 122 Thursday thoughts. One of the best. I was thinking about this the other day where I was like, where did carpentry come from? You know, and it's like there's a rug and a carpet and a carpet came first because it's a full room with a carpet.
26:04But the one guy got pissed off at that carpet and cut it, became a rug. It's got a good point. It's not a bad ending. Started slow. True TTT fans know I never introduced you to the volume. I never introduced you to the volume. I have to say welcome to Tommy's Thursday thoughts. It was a good point, though. The ending, not bad. Not bad. Philly football, you're up.
26:26Why do people live in the desert? There's nothing there. Why would you choose there when you need water, food and all sorts of things? Just the worst place to live. Why there?
26:47So delivery solid. What factually true, but not clever. Not funny. Nothing that's ever like it's again. No shit. Yeah. People shouldn't live. I have to go with the winner. And let me just say all three really could use a lot of work. It's like the man in the arena. You think it's easy to make shots and get out on the court. I got to go to Marnie.
27:08Thank you. What? You would say that in your dumb fucking Instagram that got canceled, by the way. No, it did not get canceled. Yes, it did. We said all shows, podcasts got canceled. Thursday Thoughts, put that email in the video. Put that email in the video. Philly, I know you got the email in the video. Put it in. Thursday Thoughts got canceled. It's a stupid show. Fuck that dumb show. That's too far. He's not allowed to think at Barstool.
27:35It was not canceled. It guy's resources cut. Yes. Thank you. Meek Phil sounding very sexy with that rasp. The voice of reason. Meek Phil. All right, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for your celebrity guest judge, Tommy Smokes.
27:50My name is Tommy and I want the smoke. I got the Malibu mix with the coke. I got your back. But Marty Mush, as the winner of everything, the last challenge, you have control of the board. Where would you like to go? Auction. 200, please. All right, gentlemen, name of the game is pickle pong. You'll have to paddle as many pickle balls as you can into this pyramid of buckets. How many do you think you can make in 30 seconds? Marty Mush, start the bidding. 14. We got 14 by Marty. Marty, I'll go 15. 16. Marty Mush, 16. Philly Football, you think you can go 17? 17 over here by Billy.
28:20Philly Football, 17. Billy Football, 17. Dana Beers. No. Billy Football, you win with 17. If you do not get 17 in 30 seconds, you lose. Marty and Dana will get the points. Philly Football, I will start the timer on your hit. Time goes. 1. He's done. He's dead. He's too jacked. He's too jacked. 2. Make sure it goes all the way in, Phil. 3. 10 seconds down. You have 20 seconds left, Billy. 4. We're good. We're done. 5. Good stuff.
28:506. Good stuff. That's why you don't bid on it. 7. 8. 20 seconds down. You have 10 seconds left. 10 seconds left. 9. 10. 11. He's going two at once. 12. 13. Wait, wait, wait. He's going two at once. Time. Stop. Those do not count. Fuck, that's 17. No, he not. What went wrong there, Billy? I should have started doing three at a time from the jump. From the jump. Yeah, yeah.
29:20That's right. All right, Dana Beers. Game show. I got 16. Game show. Nut stacker. Contestants will be given eight nuts on a chopstick. Love how this is starting off. The first person to stack all eight nuts vertically on top of each other wins. On your mark, get set, go.
29:37Billy football off to a hot start with the nuts. Billy football. Oh, the tower goes over. Slow and steady wins the race, they once said. And Dana Beers is going very slow and very steady.
29:54I will kill myself if this doesn't hit. Oh, Dana Beers. You're an asshole. You're an asshole. Nuts. Billy football on his last nut. Doesn't get it. Oh, he bust that nut. That's why we employed me. You're the big bucks, buddy. That's why Meek is here.
30:15Can I say that? Can I say the C word? Billy football. One nut left. Meek, start that timer. One, two, three. All right, Billy football. You won nut stacker. You got 200 points. You are in control of the board. Where do you want to go?
30:44Let me go with auction. Auction for 300. Name of the game is pin the pie on the Meek. You will be sitting down in an office chair. How many spins in an office chair can you do and then successfully throw a pie at Meek's face?
30:59Billy football. I love that you're all about it. I did too. Shout out to me. Billy football, we'll start the bidding with you. How many spins in an office chair can you do? Three. Three spins. All right, we got three spins. Marty Mush? Five. How many fucking pies do we have? One pie. No, I'm saying that. What? We're going to run out of pies? One pie, bro. How many spins can you do in an office chair? Holy shit. And then throw the pie. That's what I'm saying. If we throw the pie and we miss, you lose. You get one chance, you lose. Oh, so it's one pie. One shot, one kill. We do it until we hit him?
31:29Yes. I was going to say, we got a lot of fucking pies. You go, you pay until you hit him. All right. Marty Mush said five. We got higher than five. Go on. Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight. Eight spins. That's not that many. All right, nine. Nine. Nine spins out of Dana. Dana, do we got ten? Ten out of Marty. Marty said ten. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven and a half. All right, we got eleven. Eleven and a half. Eleven and a half. You can't do eleven and a half. Twelve. Twelve. Thirteen. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. Fuck. Fifteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Sixteen. Sixteen. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a half. Sixteen and a
31:59half. Sixteen and a half. Seventeen. Seventeen by Dana. Going once, going twice. Seventeen and a half. Twenty. Twenty. We got twenty. That's a big number. That's a big jump. We got twenty spins in a chair from Dana. Going once, going twice. Billy, we got twenty-one. Oh, fuck. I completely misunderstood it. I thought it meant how many tries, dude. No, fuck you, dude. You did twenty, bitch. We explained it to you. Twice. I thought it meant how many tries. So, when they say they only have one pie, how'd you still think that?
32:30Dana, you may not win the game, but you're having the most fun and I think that's a win.
32:34The thing is, I really wanted to do this. I thought it meant this whole time. I thought it meant how many, like, can you try twenty times to hit him in the face?
32:41Can I go back on it? Well, Dana, Billy Football, you want to go twenty-one? Dude, after he handed me that shot glass, I really want to do it.
32:48Twenty-one. Going once. Do it. Going twice. Do it. Be a hero. Do we have twenty-one? Come on, Billy. No, I'm not going to do it.
32:56Dana Beers, twenty spins. Twenty spins, quite a few beers, dude. That's a lot of spins.
33:03This whole time, I was like, oh, boy. Dude, they said they had one pie. That's why I was so confused.
33:09You guys don't understand. I knew you guys were going to keep pushing Billy. Why do you think I was so confused?
33:13I was like, no. Why do you think I was so confused? I was like, if I have twenty pies and I spin around three times, I'm going to hit him eventually.
33:19You're going to throw it and hit the fucking floor. I thought...
33:23Alright, let's go.
33:26Marty and Billy will spin him in the chair twenty times. Dana will pick up the pie and he must hit Meek in the face with the pie and cover at least half of his face.
33:36Marty, I already am on the verge of the spins. Twenty spins. You guys ready? Don't go too hard. On the spins? I'll just make sure.
33:46Alright, twenty spins. Let's go.
33:48Can we get some people over here?
33:50We'll be fine. We'll get you. We'll get you. Alright, twenty spins. Begin.
33:55One. Marty.
33:56Okay, alright.
33:57Marty, what are you doing like that? No, twist him, idiot. Wait, what are you doing? You don't go with him, moron. You go like this.
34:05That's five. That's five. That's six.
34:09Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Eighteen.
34:27What are you doing?
34:31That was you.
34:32Don't say he spat in the chair, bro.
34:35Did I win? Did I win? You got three more spins.
34:38You're going to make me do three more? I got a fucking ash, my ass cheek is fucked.
34:43Billy. Why did we?
34:46Billy, you don't know how to spin somebody?
34:51That should be a penalty. Billy has cheated and never won.
34:54I'll take ten. I'll take ten. I'll take ten another. We'll do ten more.
34:58One. Two. That's worse than what I was doing.
35:01Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.
35:10Grab the pie. Oh no, he's got it. He's got it.
35:15Oh. Oh. Oh.
35:23Oh.
35:26Did he step over?
35:29You alright?
35:33His hand went back.
35:36Oh no, my stuff.
35:40It's all the Billy stuff.
35:42That's karma. Also, I think you went over the line.
35:45We didn't think to not put it over the desk.
35:57Alright, that was pin the pie on the meek.
36:00Dana, you did it. I don't know if there was ever a chance you wouldn't have done it, but you did it.
36:05You get 300 points. You have control of the board. Where would you like to go?
36:09Let's go Game Show.
36:10Game Show. 300.
36:13This is the Price's Barstool.
36:15Gentlemen, you will be guessing the price of an item on the Barstool Sports Store.
36:20May I introduce the Smathers & Branson Barstool Golf Transfusion Coaster Set.
36:26This is a set of four incredibly crafted coasters.
36:31That wood is polished cherry wood.
36:34That needle point is hand done.
36:37You may not go over on this.
36:39If you go over, you're gone.
36:41I can truly tell you, I have never thought how much a coaster could be.
36:45Billy Football, you're looking at me. Let's see what your answer is.
36:484509.
36:50Martimosh, let's see what you put down.
36:52I put a t-shirt for like 32, so I was like 68.
36:5668.
36:57You gotta throw the 99's on here.
36:58Yeah, that's a fine number, but it could be better.
37:003499.
37:02So you think they're the same as the t-shirt?
37:04Why is Steve laughing, dude? He died.
37:06Dude, he laughed his ass off.
37:08All right, the answers are in.
37:10Let's see how much these Smathers & Branson Barstool Golf Transfusion Coaster Set cost.
37:15$95 on the Barstool Sports Store.
37:18Yeah, worth every penny, boys.
37:20Martimosh.
37:21Keep buying. Keep buying.
37:22$32 was a crazy answer.
37:25A customized wood?
37:28It's fucking coasters. I can make one in my backyard.
37:32Do it, please.
37:33I will.
37:35All right, Martimosh, you got the points.
37:37Where would you like to go next?
37:39Game show or auction?
37:41Auction for $400, please.
37:42Auction for $400.
37:44That is double points.
37:46The name of the game?
37:48Eating contest.
37:49Do you boys like eggs?
37:51Yeah.
37:52How many deviled eggs can you eat in a minute?
37:55Martimosh, start the bidding.
37:56Three.
37:57Martimosh said he could eat three deviled eggs.
37:58Who thinks they could eat four?
37:59Give it to him.
38:00And let's go back to the last question, and it'll be me versus you.
38:03Let's give him the eggs.
38:05I don't want to eat either.
38:07Give him the eggs.
38:08We're going to go me and Billy.
38:10You guys are talking about me.
38:12This is embarrassing.
38:13Three eggs?
38:14I'm pregnant right now.
38:15I'm fucking full of shit.
38:16Four eggs. Four eggs for Billy Football.
38:18Billy, come on.
38:19Well, he just screwed you, so.
38:21You fucked me, Billy.
38:22Oh, do you want to leave it to him?
38:23Yeah, because then we can go to the last challenge.
38:25It's me versus you.
38:26Well, Billy Football, four eggs.
38:27Wait, wait, can I pull out?
38:29No.
38:30You're at second four.
38:31Dana, do you want to go five?
38:32Five.
38:33Five out of Dana Beers.
38:34Six.
38:35I'm out.
38:36Six.
38:37Marty Bush is out.
38:38Be a legend.
38:39Can I see them?
38:40Be a legend.
38:41They're so small.
38:42Come on, be legends.
38:43You know, you get sick, dude.
38:44Salmonella, dude, they didn't cook those eggs.
38:45That's what I'm saying, yeah.
38:46They're hard-boiled eggs.
38:47They're hard-boiled eggs.
38:48They were cooked.
38:49They were hard-boiled.
38:50Actually, the most you can cook an egg was that.
38:52Going once.
38:53Going twice.
38:54Can I do seven?
38:56He wants to do seven.
38:57You want to do eight?
38:58I'll do eight.
38:59I'll do eight.
39:00Eight.
39:01Oh, yeah.
39:02Get him to ten.
39:03Nine.
39:04Oh, yeah.
39:05Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:06Ten.
39:07Ten.
39:08Ten.
39:09No.
39:10All right.
39:11Nine in a minute.
39:12Can I?
39:13All right.
39:14I'll drink with that.
39:15You can drink your Body Armor Flash IV.
39:16You can drink whatever is in that red cup.
39:17I'm not going to lie.
39:18I have no chance.
39:19All right.
39:20Yeah, I'll get some fresh beer.
39:21You have no chance.
39:22Dude, it's a lot.
39:23The clock will start the second that egg hits your lips.
39:24Two girls, one cup.
39:25Two girls, one cup.
39:26Two girls, one cup.
39:27Two girls, one cup.
39:28Two girls, one cup.
39:29Two girls, one cup.
39:30Two girls, one cup.
39:31Two girls, one cup.
39:32Two girls, one cup.
39:33Two girls, one cup.
39:34Two girls, one cup.
39:35Two girls, one cup.
39:36Chocolate ice cream.
39:37Two eggs down in ten seconds.
39:38He's on pace.
39:39Oh, oh, fumble roosty.
39:40You got this, Dana.
39:41Two girls, one cup.
39:42Fifteen seconds.
39:43Two eggs.
39:44Five.
39:45Six.
39:46All right, Dana, you are at the 30 second mark.
39:58Two girls, one cup.
39:59Two girls, one cup.
40:00two girls one cup Dana 20 seconds Dana you have 10 seconds to get that egg into
40:17your mouth four three he's got that no that's good I almost puked at the seven
40:36mark I almost puked at the seven all right Dana beers that puts you in second
40:40place second place you are in control the board I gotta be objective with the
40:46boys that was not worth it slime or no slime each of you will answer three
40:52questions if you get two wrong you will be slimed if you get two right confetti
40:56will fall on you and you will get the points but first mr. slime ladies and
41:02gentlemen let's have a round of applause for mr. slide oh it's gross that's
41:09disgusting it's mr. slime he's he's a freak
41:15throw things at him yes treat him subhuman oh it's just glimmer nevermind
41:22oh it's clever I thought it was mr. slime is a creature all right it's just
41:28clamoring all right Billy football name of the game over under are there over or
41:34under 85 Ikea's in Sweden under under that is correct there are 20 Ikea's in
41:47Sweden population could never support 85 that's correct your next question who
41:53earned more money during their pro career Patrick Beverly or Taylor Luan
41:58they're your co-workers the difference is $80,000 that is fucking insane oh
42:05this is a toss-up does that does that include European earnings no Patrick
42:13Beverly in the NBA Taylor Luan in the NFL I'm gonna go with Patrick Beverly
42:21I'm sorry that is incorrect the answer is Taylor Luan over under again how many
42:27chickens are slaughtered every day over under 200 million is this globally or
42:34just in America this is globally brother easy work bill come on I feel so much
42:39better a lot of eggs come out so that's one-fifth of a billion I'm gonna go over
42:46your thoughts mr. slime I'm gonna be honest that fake-out got me I was I was
42:56about to dive in front of the slime for Billy Marty mush welcome to slime or no
43:00slime your first question is an over-under Barbra Streisand spent over
43:06or under $75,000 cloning her dog over I'm sorry that is incorrect under she
43:15spent $50,000 cloning her dog loser yes the dog's genetics are the same but the
43:21personality was different is it worth it who knows all right Marty mush your next
43:24question Bill Burr's net worth is it 14 million or 44 million vibert it's 14
43:33million comedians don't get paid as a lot as many people think yes comedian is
43:37a rough gig Marty mush that is correct 14 million it all comes down to the final
43:43question appreciate that Marty mush your question is of these two states which
43:47state first made it illegal to marry your first cousin just is it one of a
43:51Mississippi no it is not well that's sad Phil Phil can you get out of the
43:57beer doing something your belly let's let's cut Billy off on the beer let's
44:03we're good on the beers we're good on the beers over there all right what
44:07state made it illegal first to marry your first cousin was it Kansas or New
44:12York I actually it's it's uh oh whoa didn't see the second one coming this
44:19seems like a trick I actually like I'm pretty sure I was gonna say Kansas
44:24before you said Kansas I might have read something about that on accident
44:28brushing up just got to do your first instant give me a slime slime master
44:32Kansas Marty mush's answer is Kansas congratulations Marty mush Kansas is the
44:46correct answer they made it illegal to marry your first cousin in 1858 New
44:50York it's still legal and that's why bibs he's living in New York City baby
44:55Santa beers your first question is how many days were passengers on the Titanic
45:00before it sank four or fourteen days I would have guessed 300 be a hell of a
45:09cruise you know a long you know a long time I'm gonna go with 14 bitch those
45:22those wait if I get one wrong do I get slimed to okay yeah 14 those Mexican
45:36icebergs you got to watch out for them they pop up uh you said 14 days the
45:40answer is four days that is incorrect probably best pretty mr. slime is
45:47taunting him with the bucket now Dana if you get one more incorrect you will be
45:51slimed question number two who has more Instagram followers Theo Vaughn or Patrick
45:58my homes I think the obvious answer is my homes is it I don't know who's the
46:05best fucking player in the league not according to the NFL top 100 he's like
46:10number four which is crazy I'm gonna say Patrick my homes final answer Dana that
46:24was incorrect Theo Vaughn has more followers than Patrick my homes I don't
46:29know I would I wouldn't I wouldn't all right that's it for round two Marty mush
46:39and Dana beers are going on to the beergasm Marty mush in first place but
46:44Billy football you came in third don't worry you will not be going home empty
46:48handed Oh meek Phil why don't you go ahead and hand him his prize that is a
46:54Roy Orbison live in Texas VHS Roy one of the greatest live performers of all
47:02time Oh brother he is a magician on the guitar you love him and Billy football
47:10you're gonna grow to love him cuz you just you're going home with that how do
47:13I play this it's a VHS brother you pop it into the cassette player and it goes
47:19oh yeah yeah oh all right that's it for round two a beer game show we'll be back
47:27with beergasm presented by body armor flash IV rapid rehydration yo hey I'm
47:35Dana I drink a zillion fucking beers like fuck I drink a zillion years and my
47:42hair like I got this fucking hair thing you know I look look at my hair and I
47:46drink a zillion bears and I'm Dana oh it's like a movie partying all night
47:53with Adam 23 and a baby it's exhausting oh wait you show up hungover to a race
48:00against me a former division one athlete and you think you can beat me think I
48:06could beat you I know I can beat you on your mark yeah man he's fast I gotta get
48:31me some of that body armor flash IV rapid rehydration and we're back with
48:40beer game show presented by body armor flash IV we have Marty and Dana waiting
48:46in the wings to compete in the legendary beergasm obstacle course but before they
48:52get going they need to rehydrate with rapid rehydration solution of the body
48:56armor flash IV go ahead and take a big sip boys you're gonna need it you got a
49:01gauntlet ahead of you keep in mind Marty mush came in first place so he
49:06will be getting a three second head start boys you know the course you know
49:10what you're doing I'm gonna get out of here I'll see you at the finish line
49:14good luck the legendary beergasm contestants will race through a series
49:19of five checkpoints at each point they will complete a challenge drink their
49:24beers and take their empty cups with them at the end of the course they must
49:28assemble a pyramid the contestant that shoots down all their cups first is the
49:32champion
49:58fuck me
50:28oh I'm out of breath boys
50:44thank you Clemmer
50:55I forgot my cup fuck I also forgot my cup upstairs fuck
51:08I should have listened to the rules that's on me
51:16you don't need a miracle
51:20oh my god I can't hit it
51:50holy fucking shit I feel like I just ran an 18-mile marathon that's not right
51:56whoa does that count why wouldn't it count I thought you had to hit all of
52:04them you do you dumb fuck I don't know what's going on here
52:11Marty Bush with two cups left Dana Beers still has the full pyramid to go
52:17that's so bullshit one left for Marty Mush
52:30come on you motherfucker Marty Mush one more cup Dana Beers gets another one down
52:36four more for Dana Beers he's gaining ground
52:40Marty Mush lines it up the shot misses come on bitch come on bitch I was right
52:54there Marty Mush the sharpshooter gets the last cup for the win
53:01Marty Mush is the champion Marty Mush rehydrate with some body armor flash IV
53:06you are the champion of beer game show congratulations people at home be sure
53:13to like and subscribe and in the comments say who you would like to see
53:17next on beer game show mr. slime get out of here you're scaring everybody thank
53:22you Dana I didn't know you could hit three cups at once I thought it was one
53:28one one one one what are you getting these rules we went through it