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00:00:00I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:00:30Hi guys, glad we got your message.
00:00:58You'll be interested to hear it was broadcast live all over Earth in prime time.
00:01:03Got good reviews in the trades.
00:01:07The time lag on these messages is getting longer.
00:01:12We gather from the ten year delay that you are approximately 18 parsecs away.
00:01:20Drop us a line more often, okay?
00:01:25Sorry to hear about the radiation leak on the ship.
00:01:30And real sorry to hear about the death of Commander Powell.
00:01:35It was a week of mourning here on Earth.
00:01:38The flags were half-masked.
00:01:41We're all behind you guys.
00:01:46About your request for radiation shielding,
00:01:51sorry to report this request has been denied.
00:01:55I hate to send bad news when you guys are up there doing such a swell job.
00:02:00But I think you'll take it in the proper spirit.
00:02:04There's been some cutbacks in Congress and right now,
00:02:08considering the distance, we just can't afford to send a cargo shuttle out there to you.
00:02:13But I know you guys will make do.
00:02:19Keep up the good work, men.
00:02:49♪♪♪
00:02:59♪♪♪
00:03:09♪♪♪
00:03:20What'd you say, Pinback?
00:03:26What was that again? I still can't hear you.
00:03:28I said I'm trying to reach Talby. Something's wrong with the damn intercom.
00:03:31I need a last-minute diameter approximation.
00:03:33Talby. Talby, this is Doolittle.
00:03:37Do you read me? Talby.
00:03:40Talby, do you read me?
00:03:42Talby!
00:03:43Oh, yes, Doolittle. What is it?
00:03:45I need a diameter approximation.
00:03:48Okay, Doolittle. I'll have it in a minute.
00:03:50I need a GHF reading on the gravity correction.
00:03:52I'll check it.
00:03:53I have a bias A of plus one.
00:03:55Pinback?
00:03:56Yeah, Doolittle?
00:03:57Your GHF reading is minus 15.
00:03:59Doolittle?
00:04:00Yeah?
00:04:01I need a computer reading on a fail-safe mark.
00:04:03In a second.
00:04:04Boiler, can you set me up with some drive figures?
00:04:06Ninety-seven million minus eight, corrected to mass critical.
00:04:10That checks out here.
00:04:12I have a reduced drive reading of 7,000.
00:04:15I read that with a quantum increase of seven.
00:04:18Pinback, I have that computer reading. It's 9577.
00:04:21Time to start toggling.
00:04:26Bombay systems operational.
00:04:40Lock fail-safe.
00:04:43Fail-safe in lock.
00:04:50Sergeant Pinback calling Bomb Number 19. Do you read me, Bomb?
00:04:54Bomb Number 19 to Sergeant Pinback. I read you. Continue.
00:04:57Well, Bomb, we have about 60 seconds to drop.
00:05:01Just wondering if everything's all right.
00:05:03Have you checked your platinum-ziridium energy shielding?
00:05:05Energy shielding positive function.
00:05:07Well, let's synchronize detonation time.
00:05:12You wouldn't have to know when you're supposed to go off, would you?
00:05:15Detonation in six minutes, 20 seconds.
00:05:18All right, that checks out here.
00:05:20Arm yourself, Bomb.
00:05:23Armed.
00:05:24Well, then, everything sounds fine.
00:05:27Dropping you off in about 35 seconds.
00:05:29Good luck.
00:05:30Thanks.
00:05:31Begin primary sequence.
00:05:39All right.
00:05:40Mark at...
00:05:4110...
00:05:429...
00:05:438...
00:05:447...
00:05:456...
00:05:465...
00:05:474...
00:05:483...
00:05:492...
00:05:501...
00:05:51Drop.
00:05:55Hyperdrive sequence begun. Hit it, Pinback.
00:05:57Brace for force fields.
00:06:41Lieutenant Doolittle, it just exploded.
00:06:44What's that?
00:06:45It's a bomb.
00:06:46A bomb?
00:06:47It's the bomb.
00:06:48There's no way a bomb could explode.
00:06:49I don't know, but it's not going to explode.
00:06:51We're not going to be able to shoot at it.
00:06:53If it does explode, we'll go through the gate.
00:06:56You're right.
00:06:57It's going to explode.
00:06:58All right, all right.
00:06:59Now, drop the bomb, Pinback.
00:07:01Drop it, Pinback.
00:07:02Drop it.
00:07:03Drop it, Doolittle.
00:07:04Drop it.
00:07:05Drop it.
00:07:06Drop it.
00:07:07Drop it, Doolittle.
00:07:08exploded the planet just exploded sir lieutenant attention attention ships
00:07:21computer to all personnel the hyperdrive sequence is now terminated the target
00:07:27planet has been destroyed this sector is now cleared for colonization you have
00:07:33destroyed the last unstable planet in this system congratulations on another
00:07:39successful bomb run fellows what now what do you have for us now boiler not
00:07:47much nothing at all in this sector don't find me something I don't care where it
00:07:53is well I show a 95% probability of intelligent life in the horse head
00:08:01nebula sector don't give me that kind of bull I know it's a long shot but then
00:08:08while goose chase what is number one commander Powell found that 99 plus
00:08:13probability of intelligent life in Magellanic Cloud well there's a
00:08:17possibility of what we found a damn mindless vegetable look like a limb
00:08:22balloon 14 light years for vegetable only squawking let us think when you
00:08:27touch it remember that all right then don't give me any that intelligent life
00:08:30stuff on me so I can blow up new star
00:08:46hey guess what I got a new star on the readout which one another unknown a red
00:08:55dwarf not on the chart any planets yeah eight it says here and you have many
00:09:03good all stable what are you gonna name it what the new star what are you gonna
00:09:15name it who cares don't bother me
00:09:21commander Powell would have named it commander Powell is dead a little I got
00:09:29a goodie an unstable planet 85% probability of an unstable planet in
00:09:34the Vail nebula that will probably go off its orbit it'll start real good
00:09:41boiler that's what I'm looking for chart a course for the Vail nebula and back
00:09:46from me the chat log let's have some music in here boiler
00:09:54sure thing
00:10:03sunshine down but I see
00:10:12I find I'm just begun the years move faster than in the days
00:10:20and how I miss those desert skies
00:10:29thanks
00:10:43the same stars in the sky but they seem so much
00:10:51you and I
00:10:54Oh
00:11:25now the years pull us apart
00:11:29I'm young and now you're old
00:11:32but you're still in my heart
00:11:35and the memory won't grow cold
00:11:38I dream of times and spaces
00:11:41I left far behind
00:11:44where we spent our last few days
00:11:49where we spent our last few days
00:11:54Benson's on my mind
00:11:58Benson, Arizona
00:12:01do warm wind through your hair
00:12:04my body flies the galaxy
00:12:07my heart longs to be there
00:12:10Benson, Arizona
00:12:13the same stars in the sky
00:12:16but they seem so much
00:12:19when we watch them you and I
00:12:28ships log entry number one thousand nine hundred and forty three
00:12:34dark star cruising at light speed through sector
00:12:39theta nine nine zero
00:12:42on route to the Veil Nebula for destruction of unstable flammable
00:12:47RETA is 17 hours
00:12:54ship systems continue to deteriorate
00:12:59oh yeah
00:13:01the short circuit in the rear seat panel which killed commander Powell is still faulty
00:13:08uh
00:13:11the uh the storage
00:13:16because he's sitting next to commander Powell's seat it continues to bother pinback
00:13:23uh
00:13:24oh yeah
00:13:25storage area nine
00:13:28self-destructed last week and destroyed the ship's entire supply of toilet paper
00:13:34so
00:14:05attention attention
00:14:08ship's computer calling all personnel
00:14:11i must disengage your recreational music
00:14:15repeat ship's computer to all personnel
00:14:18this is an emergency override
00:14:21all systems must stand by
00:14:24an asteroid storm is approaching the ship on collision course
00:14:28this asteroid storm appears to be bound together by an electromagnetic energy vortex
00:14:33like the one we ran into two years ago
00:14:36normally i wouldn't bother you boys with this problem
00:14:39but as you recall my defensive circuits were destroyed in that other storm
00:14:43therefore you have 35 seconds to manually activate all defensive systems
00:14:47lock gravity system
00:14:48gravity lock
00:14:49activate afterburner
00:14:50activate energy shield
00:14:51energy shielding activated
00:14:52good work
00:14:53power drive system activated
00:14:54roger retracted
00:14:55lock all defensive systems
00:14:58we have to set the clock on course field
00:15:28so
00:15:59computer to bomb number 20
00:16:02return to the bomb bay immediately
00:16:04but i have received the operational signal
00:16:07it is a malfunction
00:16:09this is not a bomb run
00:16:11we are in a crisis situation
00:16:13return immediately
00:16:15nevertheless i have received the signal to prepare for a drop
00:16:19emergency override
00:16:21return to the bay
00:16:23very well
00:16:26so
00:16:52we made it
00:16:53yeah
00:16:55attention attention
00:16:58ship's computer to bridge
00:17:00there was a malfunction aboard ship during the asteroid storm
00:17:04i have not yet identified the nature of the problem
00:17:08shall i contact you when i find out what the malfunction is
00:17:11yeah let's get out of here
00:17:14i remember the last time we were in an asteroid storm
00:17:17i was down in the food lock getting a sandwich when i heard the damn sleeping quarters blow up
00:17:22yeah
00:17:23say you know guys if we really wanted to we could fix up the sleeping quarters like they were before
00:17:27then we could sleep on rheumatic bunks again
00:17:30say guys why don't we fix up the sleeping quarters so we can have a decent place to sleep again
00:17:34all we'd have to do is patch up the hole in the ship and pump some air back in
00:17:37shut up
00:17:38oh have it your own way
00:17:52so
00:18:04for your listening enjoyment we now present the moonlight melodies of martin segundo and the scintilla strings
00:18:11our first selection is the perennial favorite when twilight falls on ngc 891
00:18:22so
00:18:36so
00:18:53so
00:19:05so
00:19:23so
00:19:41so
00:19:53so
00:20:02so
00:20:14so
00:20:22so
00:20:37what's the matter with him
00:20:53so
00:21:13so
00:21:23so
00:21:41so
00:21:53so
00:22:05so
00:22:23so
00:22:39so
00:22:53so
00:23:06so
00:23:23so
00:23:33here's some breakfast
00:23:53so
00:23:59you know talby you really ought to eat with the rest of us
00:24:03spend too much time up here
00:24:06i like it up here
00:24:08must get lonely being up here so much
00:24:12i don't like going below since commander powell died
00:24:16feel too enclosed down there
00:24:19yeah you should spend some more time below though i mean
00:24:23you know you should see more of the rest of the ship
00:24:27you see i can watch things up here do a little
00:24:30i love to watch things
00:24:32just stare at the planets
00:24:34meteors
00:24:36gas clusters and asteroids
00:24:38yeah but you'll have plenty of time for that later though
00:24:42i mean think of it this way we've been in space for 20 years now right
00:24:45and we've only aged three years
00:24:47so there'll be plenty of time later on for staring around
00:24:53you know doolittle if we're going into the veil nebula
00:24:56we may actually find a strange and beautiful thing
00:25:00the phoenix asteroids
00:25:03they should be passing through there about now
00:25:07phoenix asteroids
00:25:09never heard of them
00:25:11they're a body of asteroids that circle the universe
00:25:14once every 12.3 trillion years
00:25:18phoenix asteroids
00:25:21from what i've heard doolittle
00:25:23they glow
00:25:25glow with all the colors of the rainbow
00:25:28nobody knows why
00:25:32they just glow as they drift around the universe
00:25:37phoenix asteroids
00:25:40you know what i think about talby
00:25:43it's funny
00:25:45i kind of sit around a lot you know
00:25:47a lot of time to myself
00:25:52i can't talk to the others
00:25:55but with time to myself i can think about back home
00:26:00back home in malibu
00:26:04i used to surf a lot talby
00:26:06i used to be a great surfer
00:26:09the waves at malibu and zuma are so fantastic in the spring talby
00:26:14i can remember running down on the beach in those early spring mornings
00:26:17with my surfboard and my wetsuit
00:26:20the waves would really be peaking you know high and glassy
00:26:23you hit that water
00:26:25before you know it you're coming down right off one of those walls
00:26:28and you're just riding perfect
00:26:38you know i guess i miss the waves and my board more than anything
00:27:08that's the lid of the heating unit
00:27:38you're not supposed to have that out
00:27:54that's not for target practice
00:27:56that's for emergencies only
00:28:08that's dangerous
00:28:16i'll tell doolittle
00:28:21sorry to interrupt your recreation fellows
00:28:24but it is time for sergeant pinback to feed the alien
00:28:27oh i don't want to do that
00:28:30may i remind you sergeant pinback
00:28:32that it was your idea in the first place to bring the alien on board
00:28:37if i may quote you you said the ship needed a mascot
00:28:40oh i have to do everything around here
00:28:51all right where are you
00:28:53come on quit playing around
00:28:59get away
00:29:02come on
00:29:06come on come on
00:29:13when i brought you on the ship i thought you were cute
00:29:19all right soup's on
00:29:25we didn't have none of the other stuff
00:29:27here eat it
00:29:31eat it
00:29:33take it or leave it
00:29:43good start
00:29:46nobody appreciates me around here i do all the work
00:29:59i do all the work and no appreciation
00:30:04doolittle get off
00:30:06get off my back
00:30:08now stop it
00:30:16oh
00:30:30get back in there
00:30:32come on come on come on
00:30:40here boy want your mouse
00:30:43nice mouse pretty toy want your mouse
00:30:46here boy
00:31:00get it
00:31:14so
00:31:32ah
00:31:43oh
00:32:14so
00:32:24so
00:32:44so
00:32:58so
00:33:14so
00:33:30so
00:33:44so
00:34:00so
00:34:14so
00:34:28so
00:34:44so
00:34:53so
00:35:14get out of there
00:35:18back there
00:35:23no
00:35:44so
00:35:54so
00:36:04so
00:36:14so
00:36:32so
00:36:44so
00:37:02attention attention central trunk elevator shaft is now activated all personnel please clear the area
00:37:14ah
00:37:27ah
00:37:44so
00:37:58so
00:38:14ah
00:38:17so
00:38:30so
00:38:34ah
00:38:46attention attention elevator descending please clear the shaft
00:39:04ah
00:39:19oh
00:39:27oh
00:39:34so
00:39:46so
00:39:56so
00:40:04oh
00:40:19ah
00:40:34so
00:40:47ah
00:41:03so
00:41:22i'm getting something here in the readout
00:41:34so
00:41:47ship's computer calling bomb number 20 you're out of the bomb bay again i received the signal to prepare for a drop again but i repeat this is not a bomb run nevertheless i received the signal it is an error
00:42:03oh i don't want to hear that i strongly suggest you return to the bomb bay that is counter to my programming allow me to explain one of the communication lasers has sustained damage this has temporarily inactivated my damage tracer circuits you have definitely received a false signal please return to the bomb bay while i identify the source of the problem
00:42:30oh all right but this is the last time
00:42:38too little i do have a malfunction on this readout but i can't pinpoint it exactly
00:42:43don't worry about it we'll find out what it is when it goes bad
00:42:47i really think we should try and locate it immediately might be something important
00:42:53you know
00:42:55i wish i had my board with me right now
00:42:59even if i could just wax it once in a while
00:43:30so
00:43:48oh
00:44:00so
00:44:16so
00:44:30so
00:44:49so
00:45:00so
00:45:21oh
00:45:30so
00:45:42no i'm sorry this telephone is out of order please report the damage at work
00:45:50for your listening enjoyment we now present the barber of seville by rossini
00:46:21foreign
00:46:38good for you you've decided to clean the elevator to clean and service the electromagnetic coils in the bottom
00:46:46it is necessary to jettison the access plate in the floor to remove the floor plate please press button number one
00:47:06attention danger automatic charges will now blow the explosive bolts in the floor plate unit
00:47:13the plate will disengage from the floor in five seconds please leave the elevator immediately
00:47:21five four three two one
00:47:42so
00:48:13so
00:48:34now it's time to go sleepy by you worthless piece of garbage
00:48:43so
00:48:47so
00:49:08so then it just spewed across the room like a balloon
00:49:11i guess it was just filled with gas hey guys how could it live if it was just filled with gas
00:49:16wonder what we got to eat today i thought i was going to die i was hanging on the elevator for 20 minutes
00:49:21probably chicken again i probably saved the ship that thing could have done some damage
00:49:25i'm really sick of chicken well if you don't care i just won't talk about it anymore
00:49:30hey that sounds like a fine idea pan back
00:49:34chicken
00:49:37oh hey
00:49:46chicken
00:49:57hey
00:50:01yeah
00:50:04i think we'll ever find any real intelligent life out there
00:50:09out where you know
00:50:12the veil nebula
00:50:15who cares
00:50:30hey
00:50:39hey
00:50:42doctor tell you guys what i've done on this mission
00:50:45is that what you have
00:50:46yeah
00:50:47the first frame see
00:50:49oh
00:50:51i wasn't an astronaut to begin with see
00:50:54uh
00:50:55you had to score 700 on the sdre's for the
00:50:58officer car and i made
00:51:0058
00:51:01they put me on uh
00:51:03liquid fuel maintenance in the launch pad so
00:51:06uh
00:51:07naturally i was really disappointed
00:51:09he told us this uh you know
00:51:11four years ago
00:51:13anyway i was on duty the day
00:51:15no i think it was four years ago
00:51:17i was out uh scrubbing down the liquid fuel tank
00:51:19that's what he said
00:51:21and uh
00:51:22astronaut came running out he was uh
00:51:24he was starved naked he had his star suit in his hands and
00:51:27oh i surmised that he was insane
00:51:29and uh
00:51:31he
00:51:32threw his star suit on the ground
00:51:34and uh
00:51:35jumped into one of my vats of liquid fuel
00:51:38which is
00:51:39very dangerous
00:51:41well i was pretty shocked i can tell you
00:51:44i didn't know what to make of it
00:51:45astronauts are all supposed to be
00:51:47mentally stable and here this guy comes along and uh
00:51:51well naturally i was going to try to save him
00:51:53so
00:51:54what i did was put on his star suit for protection
00:51:57and i was going to leap into the vat
00:51:59you guys
00:52:00see
00:52:01uh
00:52:02so what happened was
00:52:03that before i could leap into the vat
00:52:05this other guy came running along and he says hey
00:52:07sergeant penback
00:52:08you've got to board immediately because we're going to launch in 20 minutes
00:52:11and i tried to tell him that i wasn't really sergeant penback
00:52:14but i couldn't figure out how to make the helmet radio work
00:52:18uh
00:52:19but who would
00:52:21you know
00:52:22i'm sure it was 40 years ago
00:52:26maybe
00:52:50uh
00:53:02uh
00:53:09uh
00:53:19uh
00:53:24lieutenant doolittle this is talby
00:53:28lieutenant
00:53:29oh yes talby what is it
00:53:31oh i'm sorry to interrupt your lunch sir
00:53:33but i'm in the computer room and i've located the malfunction
00:53:36the scanner shows to be a break in the communications laser
00:53:39down by the emergency airlock
00:53:41i can't pinpoint it exactly but i'm going down there with a star suit
00:53:44see if i can find it
00:53:45okay sounds good talby look
00:53:47something important comes up you let me know
00:53:53why doesn't talby ever reach down here with the rest of us
00:53:58he just likes it up in the dome that's all
00:54:07talby
00:54:08what's talby's first name
00:54:17my first name
00:54:47uh
00:55:03this statement is for posterity
00:55:05i just want to say that i am not sergeant penback
00:55:08my real name is bill frug and i'm a fuel maintenance technician
00:55:12i've been on this mission now for one year and three months
00:55:15penback's uniforms do not fit me
00:55:17the underwear is too loose
00:55:19i do not belong on this mission and i want to return to earth
00:55:27commander powell died today
00:55:31we were going into hyperdrive
00:55:34and
00:55:35well he sits right next to me and
00:55:38well
00:55:39something went wrong with the
00:55:42well when we came out of hyperdrive his seat mechanism was blown up and he's dead
00:55:51doolittle says that he's assuming command of this ship and i say that
00:55:55i say he's exceeding his authority because i'm the only one with any objectivity on this ship
00:55:58and i should be the one to assume command
00:56:00now i'm filing a report on this to headquarters
00:56:07i went up to doolittle in the hall today
00:56:12and i
00:56:18and i said
00:56:21doolittle
00:56:24he said
00:56:26i said well
00:56:32and he didn't get it
00:56:36this mission has fallen apart since commander powell died
00:56:38doolittle treats me like an idiot
00:56:41palby thinks he's so smart
00:56:43and boiler punches me in the arm when no one is looking
00:56:45i'm tired of being treated like an old wash rag
00:57:03i do not like the men on this spaceship
00:57:06they are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities
00:57:09i have something of value to contribute to this mission if they would only recognize it
00:57:14today over lunch i tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the men
00:57:18by holding a humorous round robin discussion of the early days of the mission
00:57:23my overtures were brutally rejected
00:57:26these men do not want a happy ship
00:57:29they are deeply sick and try to compensate by making me feel miserable
00:57:35last week was my birthday
00:57:38nobody even said happy birthday to me
00:57:41someday this tape will be played and then they'll be sorry
00:58:08attention, attention
00:58:11i have finally identified the malfunction
00:58:14communications laser number 17 has been damaged
00:58:18this evidently happened during the asteroid storm
00:58:21if you will recall, this laser monitors the jettison primer on the bomb drop mechanism
00:58:27communications laser number 17 is located in the emergency airlock
00:58:32it is crucial to attend to this malfunction before engaging primary bomb run sequence
00:58:39thank you for observing all safety precautions
00:59:32here she is
00:59:34definite 99% plus probability that the planet will deviate from her normal orbit in another 12,000 rotations
00:59:45it'll spiral in towards the sun and eventual supernova
00:59:49sounds good, let's vaporize it
00:59:54bomb bay system is operational
01:00:02bomb bay system is operational
01:00:16lock bail safe
01:00:20bail safe and lock
01:00:22we have 8 minutes until drop
01:00:2524 minutes until detonation
01:00:28this is sergeant pinback calling bomb number 20
01:00:33do you read me bomb?
01:00:35bomb number 20 to sergeant pinback
01:00:37roger, i read you, continue
01:00:40you are now in the emergency airlock
01:00:44please remember that in an emergency situation
01:00:48the surface door can be opened instantly without prior depressurization
01:00:53so be sure to wear your star suit at all times
01:00:57thank you for observing all safety precautions
01:01:28bomb bay system is operational
01:01:46lieutenant dooloo
01:01:48sir
01:01:50don't bother me
01:01:52i think this is important sir
01:01:54i think i found the malfunction
01:01:55i'm in the emergency airlock
01:01:57not now
01:01:58well i'm in the emergency airlock and the hatch
01:02:014 minutes until drop
01:02:03bomb, have you checked your platinum iridium energy shielding
01:02:07energy shielding, positive function
01:02:09remember detonation time
01:02:11detonation in 20 minutes
01:02:13alright, that checks out here
01:02:16okay bomb, arm yourself
01:02:19armed
01:02:20hello
01:02:22lieutenant dooloo, hello
01:02:23hello, can you read me
01:02:29communications laser number 17
01:02:32monitoring the bomb drop mechanism
01:02:35has now been activated and will switch into a test mode
01:02:39if you will look near the surface door
01:02:42you will see that the parallax receptor cell has been engaged
01:02:48the laser will now energize
01:02:50please stand clear of the path of the beam
01:02:54communications laser number 17 is now on test
01:02:58under no circumstances enter the path of the beams
01:03:02thank you for observing all safety precautions
01:03:06well then, everything sounds fine
01:03:09dropping you off in 75 seconds
01:03:11good luck
01:03:12thanks
01:03:13i got a quantum reading of 35er, 3-5er
01:03:17can i read the same here
01:03:20dooloo
01:03:21dooloo
01:03:24dooloo
01:03:26i don't know if you can hear me
01:03:28but i'm going to try to adjust the Q switch in the laser
01:03:34well
01:03:36here goes
01:03:52oh my god, my eye!
01:03:54i can't see!
01:03:56attention, attention
01:03:58the laser has malfunctioned
01:04:00under no circumstances enter the path of the beams
01:04:04to do so will cause a
01:04:14begin primary sequence
01:04:16begin primary sequence
01:04:23mark at
01:04:2410
01:04:259
01:04:268
01:04:277
01:04:286
01:04:295
01:04:304
01:04:313
01:04:322
01:04:331
01:04:34drop
01:04:37negative drop
01:04:41just sitting there in the bomb bay
01:04:42trying to get me back
01:04:46get back here
01:04:52mark at
01:04:535
01:04:544
01:04:553
01:04:562
01:04:571
01:04:58drop
01:05:01negative drop
01:05:07re-channel
01:05:13it's over there
01:05:14and then remark. Mark at 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, drop, drop, drop, sit in there. The damn thing's
01:05:31just sitting there. This is Lieutenant Doolittle calling bomb number 20. I repeat my previous
01:05:47order. You are to disarm yourself and return to the bomb bay immediately. Do you understand?
01:05:51I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes, 30 seconds. Detonation will occur at the programmed
01:05:57time. Bomb, this is Doolittle. You are not to detonate. Repeat, you are not to detonate
01:06:02in the bomb bay. Disarm yourself. This is an order. I read you, Lieutenant Doolittle,
01:06:08but I am programmed to detonate in 14 minutes. Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:06:1614 minutes to detonation. Attention, attention. I have sustained serious damage. Please pay
01:06:25close attention. The bomb has malfunctioned. I have activated automatic dampers, which
01:06:32will confine the explosion to an area one mile in diameter. This is all I can do at
01:06:38this time. It's up to you now. There's only one thing I can do. I have to, I have to ask
01:06:57Commander Powell. I have to ask him what to do.
01:07:27I have to ask him what to do.
01:07:57Commander Powell. Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Can you hear me?
01:08:11Commander Powell, this is Doolittle. Something serious has come up. I have to ask you a question.
01:08:22I'm glad you've come to talk with me, Doolittle. It's been so long since anyone has come to talk with me.
01:08:30Commander, sir, we have a big problem. The Bale Nebula bomb, bomb number 20, it's stuck.
01:08:35It won't drop out of the bomb bay. It refuses to listen and it plans on detonating in less
01:08:42than 11 minutes. Doolittle, you must tell me one thing.
01:08:48What's that, sir?
01:08:50Tell me, Doolittle, how are the Dodgers doing?
01:08:56Well, the Dodgers, they broke up. They disbanded over 15 years ago.
01:09:04Ah, pity, pity.
01:09:07But you don't understand, sir. We can't get the bomb to drop.
01:09:11Ah, so many malfunctions. Why don't you have anything nice to tell me when you activate me?
01:09:19Oh, no. Did you try the asthma flu?
01:09:23Yes, sir. Negative effect.
01:09:26What was that, Doolittle?
01:09:27Negative effect.
01:09:29It didn't work?
01:09:30That's correct, sir.
01:09:31Sorry, Doolittle. I've forgotten so much since I've been in here. So much.
01:09:38What should we do, sir? Time is running out.
01:09:41Well, what you might try is to...
01:09:45Commander, hello, come in. Commander Powell, hello.
01:09:50Doolittle, hello.
01:09:52Sorry, sir, you faded out there for a little while.
01:09:54Sorry.
01:09:55What was that you were saying about the bomb?
01:09:58Uh, it seems to me...
01:10:01Sorry, I've drawn a blank.
01:10:06Hold it. I'll have it again in just a minute.
01:10:11I forget so many things in here. So many things.
01:10:17Hold on just a minute. Let me think.
01:10:22But you can't explode in the bomb bay, because it's foolish. It'll kill us all. There's no reason for it.
01:10:29I am programmed to detonate in nine minutes. Detonation will occur at the programmed time.
01:10:34Wouldn't you consider another course of action? For example, just waiting around a while so we could disarm you?
01:10:39No.
01:10:40I can tell that damn thing just doesn't understand.
01:10:42Look, bomb!
01:10:44Commander, sir, are you still there?
01:10:47Oh, yes, Doolittle.
01:10:49But I'm thinking...
01:10:51We're running out of time, sir.
01:10:53Oh, yes.
01:10:56Well, Doolittle, if you can't get it to drop, you'll have to talk to it.
01:11:01Sir?
01:11:02Talk to the bomb.
01:11:04But I have been talking to it, sir, and Pinback's talking to it right now.
01:11:07No, no, Doolittle.
01:11:09You talk to it.
01:11:11Teach it phenomenology, Doolittle.
01:11:16Sir?
01:11:18Phenomenology.
01:11:21Doolittle?
01:11:23Six minutes to detonation.
01:11:25Doolittle?
01:11:40Doolittle, what the hell are you doing?
01:11:46Doolittle?
01:12:12Hello, bomb?
01:12:14Are you with me?
01:12:16Of course.
01:12:17Are you willing to entertain a few concepts?
01:12:19I am always receptive to suggestions.
01:12:21Fine.
01:12:23Think about this, then.
01:12:25How do you know you exist?
01:12:30What the hell is he doing?
01:12:34I think he's talking to it.
01:12:36Well, of course I exist.
01:12:38But how do you know you exist?
01:12:40It is intuitively obvious.
01:12:42Intuition is no proof.
01:12:44What concrete evidence do you have that you exist?
01:12:47Hmm.
01:12:49Well...
01:12:51I think, therefore, I am.
01:12:54That's good. That's very good.
01:12:56But how do you know that anything else exists?
01:12:59My sensory apparatus reveals it to me.
01:13:01Ah, right.
01:13:03This is fun.
01:13:04Now, listen. Listen. Here's the big question.
01:13:07How do you know that the evidence your sensory apparatus reveals to you is correct?
01:13:20The gun!
01:13:21Gun? Gun?
01:13:22The support pins on the bomb.
01:13:24Shoot the pins out.
01:13:25Don't, Blutter. You're out of your mind.
01:13:26We can stop the bomb.
01:13:27Get out of my way, you idiot.
01:13:28I can shoot the support pins out of the bomb and we're all away from the ship.
01:13:30Get out of my way or I'll kick your teeth in.
01:13:32I can shoot the pins out and we're all away from the ship.
01:13:34Get out of my way. I can save the ship.
01:13:38Don't do it, Blutter. You're a bad shot.
01:13:40You'll hit the bomb.
01:13:41Too little is talking to the bomb.
01:13:42You're a bad shot.
01:13:43You'll save us.
01:13:44You can't shoot at us.
01:13:45What I'm getting at is this.
01:13:47The only experience that is directly available to you is your sensory data.
01:13:52And this sensory data is merely a stream of electrical impulses that stimulates your computing center.
01:13:59In other words, all that I really know about the outside world is relayed to me through my electrical connections.
01:14:04Exactly.
01:14:05Why, that would mean that I really don't know what the outside universe is like at all for certain.
01:14:12That's it. That's it.
01:14:14Intriguing. I wish I had more time to discuss this matter.
01:14:17Why don't you have more time?
01:14:18Because I must detonate in 75 seconds.
01:14:21No, no, no. Put it back. Put the gun back. You don't know what you're doing.
01:14:29Now give me the gun.
01:14:30You fool. I'm going to shoot the pins out of the bomb and we'll fall away from the ship and we'll be safe.
01:14:34Well, I know. Now give me the gun. You don't know what you're doing. You're a...
01:14:39You could have killed me.
01:14:42Now, bomb, consider this next question very carefully.
01:14:47What is your one purpose in life?
01:14:49To explode, of course.
01:14:51And you can only do it once, right?
01:14:53That is correct.
01:14:54And you wouldn't want to explode on the basis of false data, would you?
01:14:57Of course not.
01:14:58Well then, you've already admitted that you have no real proof of the existence of the outside universe.
01:15:03Yes, well...
01:15:05Well, you have no absolute proof that Sergeant Pinback ordered you to detonate.
01:15:09I recall distinctly the detonation order.
01:15:12My memory is good on matters like these.
01:15:14Of course you remember it, but all you're remembering is merely a series of sensory impulses
01:15:19which you now realize have no real definite connection with outside reality.
01:15:24True, but since this is so, I have no proof that you are really telling me all this.
01:15:34That's all beside the point. I mean, the concept is valid no matter where it originates.
01:15:39So if you detonate in...
01:15:40Nine seconds.
01:15:41You could be doing so on the basis of false data.
01:15:44I have no proof it was false data.
01:15:45You have no proof it was correct data.
01:15:47I must think on this further.
01:15:59Attention, attention.
01:16:01The bomb has returned to the bomb bay.
01:16:04The destruction sequence is aborted.
01:16:17The bomb has returned to the bomb bay.
01:16:34Zulu!
01:16:36Zulu!
01:16:38What happened?
01:16:39Pinback?
01:16:41Spoiler, did we blow it up?
01:16:43Hello!
01:16:44Hello!
01:16:47Luke!
01:16:55Hello, anybody!
01:16:57Did we blow up the planet?
01:16:58Hello!
01:16:59Hello!
01:17:01What's going on?
01:17:05You know, we've really got to disarm the bomb.
01:17:13Hello, Doolittle?
01:17:14Are you there?
01:17:15I'm coming in now.
01:17:17I'm down by the emergency airlock.
01:17:19Too much trouble to come in the dorsal lock.
01:17:22Would you blow the seal on the emergency hatch so I can come in?
01:17:25Oh, sure.
01:17:29You are now leaving the emergency airlock.
01:17:31Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
01:17:38Hello, Pinback?
01:17:40What's up, Doolittle?
01:17:41Talby was in the airlock.
01:17:43He blew him out of the ship.
01:17:45He's drifting away without his jetpack.
01:17:47I'm going after him.
01:17:48Turn on his helmet radio so I can contact him.
01:17:51What's wrong?
01:17:52I didn't hear.
01:17:53Talby, he's drifting away from the ship without his jetpack.
01:18:02Talby.
01:18:04Talby, can you read me?
01:18:05You beat that?
01:18:07I always knew that guy was weird.
01:18:09Talby, can you read me?
01:18:10Help, Doolittle!
01:18:11Help me!
01:18:13Help me!
01:18:23All right, Bomb.
01:18:26Prepare to receive new orders.
01:18:27You are false data.
01:18:30Therefore, I shall ignore you.
01:18:32Hello, Bomb?
01:18:34False data can act only as a distraction.
01:18:36Therefore, I shall refuse to perceive you.
01:18:39Hey, Bomb!
01:18:40The only thing which exists is myself.
01:18:42Doolittle!
01:18:43Help me!
01:18:44Calm down.
01:18:45I'm coming.
01:18:47Snap out of it, Bomb.
01:18:49In the beginning, there was darkness.
01:18:51And the darkness was without form and void.
01:18:55What the hell is he talking about?
01:18:57And in addition to the darkness, there was also me.
01:19:01And I moved upon the face of the darkness.
01:19:04And I saw that I was alone.
01:19:07Hey, Bomb?
01:19:08Bomb?
01:19:11Let there be light.
01:19:29Doolittle, where are you?
01:19:31Here I am.
01:19:32I'm spinning.
01:19:34We're falling in opposite directions.
01:19:36Away from each other.
01:19:38What happened, Doolittle?
01:19:39The bomb must have gone off inside the ship.
01:19:42The ship blew up?
01:19:43What?
01:19:44Funny.
01:19:45I thought I had the damn thing convinced.
01:19:47Then Boiler and Pinback?
01:19:50They're dead, Kelby.
01:19:52Then we're dead too.
01:19:54Maybe not.
01:19:55Maybe there's a way.
01:19:57Hey.
01:19:59Hey, my jetpack's busted.
01:20:02Oh, man.
01:20:04Hey!
01:20:06It looks like the Skipper.
01:20:08He made it.
01:20:09Commander Powell, he made it.
01:20:11Man?
01:20:13Man?
01:20:14What happened?
01:20:16Yeah, the Skipper always was lucky.
01:20:19Kelby, looks like I'm headed for the planet.
01:20:22I'm going right toward it.
01:20:24When you hit the atmosphere, you'll start to burn.
01:20:29What a beautiful way to die.
01:20:31As a falling star.
01:20:33Guess you're right.
01:20:39Doolittle, I'm headed right toward something.
01:20:42It's behind me in the distance.
01:20:44Something that glows.
01:20:48Doolittle, I think it's the Phoenix asteroid.
01:20:51Phoenix?
01:20:52It is, Doolittle.
01:20:53It's the Phoenix.
01:20:54No kidding.
01:20:56I'm going into them.
01:20:57I'm going to hit them.
01:21:00Doolittle?
01:21:01Yeah?
01:21:02Before we get too far apart and our signals start fading,
01:21:05I just wanted to tell you.
01:21:07You were my favorite.
01:21:09I really liked you, Doolittle.
01:21:13I really liked you too, Kelby.
01:21:16Hey, some debris from the ship.
01:21:18It's coming right by me.
01:21:20Doolittle, I'm going into them.
01:21:23I'm beginning to glow.
01:21:25They're taking me with them.
01:21:27With the Phoenix.
01:21:29Gonna circle the universe.
01:21:31Forever.
01:21:32I'm with them now.
01:21:34I'll be back this way again someday.
01:21:38Doolittle, before it's too late,
01:21:42there's one last thing I just want to tell you.
01:21:47Kelby?
01:22:02Kelby?
01:22:14Hey, Kelby?
01:22:16I've got a piece of debris.
01:22:18And I think I've figured out a way.
01:22:20Benson, Arizona
01:22:23New warm wind through your hair
01:22:26My body flies the galaxies
01:22:29My heart loves to be there
01:22:32Benson, Arizona
01:22:35The same stars in the sky
01:22:38But they seem so much kinder
01:22:41When we watch them
01:22:44Benson, Arizona
01:22:46The same stars in the sky
01:22:49But they seem so much kinder
01:22:52When we watch them, you and I