Love Is Blind's Hannah Answers Burning Questions About Nick Breakup
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00:00Well, Nick was away. He went to another friend's wedding and my friends were in town. My mom was
00:04in town and he had just met my friends. We were having like issues. It just seemed like
00:13at that point I was just dogging him and I was just being like the nastiest version of myself.
00:17We were bringing out the worst versions in each other. And so it wasn't like a specific thing.
00:22It was just like, okay, we're trying on wedding dresses. Like I can't, I can't do this. And so
00:28that's why I was like, we should not be getting married. I don't really know. It's really hard
00:34for me to understand Nick and I still have trouble understanding him to this day. But
00:38I think he was surprised because I think he wanted to go all the way. So I think it was like a shock
00:44that I was just like, I can't do this, but I don't think it should have been a shock because I think
00:48it was pretty obvious that like, we weren't going to make it, you know, but I'm definitely surprised.
00:52I think he just wanted to maybe do it longer and it just wasn't what I wanted to do.
00:58Not just that. It wasn't even just the wedding. So I think it would be cruel to have his family
01:02and my family come to the wedding. And we both know that this is probably not going to work out.
01:08That would be something. But the other thing is just that we just, we, we didn't like each other.
01:15I feel like I'm most towards the end. Like we were not like, I was not being nice and like,
01:18I don't know why he would want to continue that. So I think it was just like, we need to break this
01:24off before it gets nastier. Cause it's already getting nasty. Um, I think for me, I felt
01:29manipulated in the way that like, for instance, like let's go to the forbidden topic of sex,
01:34for instance, one of the reasons that Nick and I like develop such like a close relationship.
01:39And it was almost lustful in a way, probably, but we talked about sex a lot and we were very
01:44open about it. And when he first told me about it, I just thought, okay, I get it. Like friends,
01:49family, his parents are Catholic, like understand. But then I started to think like,
01:55I don't understand why you don't want to share this on camera. Cause this is a huge problem
01:59that we're having in our relationship. And I think this is stemming from like my anger,
02:02which is not a good thing, but it was. And so I felt like we need to talk about it. And so
02:06him saying that he didn't want to talk about it. I felt like he just didn't want anything to make
02:10him look not in a good light. So I felt like I was manipulating the way that like, at first I
02:14thought maybe it was this way, but I think it was the other way. And there's just like a couple
02:18other things like on camera and stuff. Like I was cruel to Nick and I completely apologize. I should
02:22not have acted like that way. But I think I was just so frustrated because when we were on camera,
02:28like he was just very, like, I don't know, he didn't say much and he was just like very much
02:33like agreeable. And I was like, but we're not agreeing off camera. I don't understand that if,
02:39if it's just my gut, I think, um, I think I knew something was off from the beginning,
02:44or I just knew it was probably not like the best thing for me, but you know, you just like,
02:49you turn on your hair, like a little girl and you don't care. You don't trust your gut. And
02:52so I think trusting my gut is something that I need to trust going forward. And, um, just if
02:58someone isn't doing what I like them to do, I need to, I've realized how independent I,
03:03how independent I am is a wonderful thing, but it's also a horrible thing about me because
03:08if we're sharing the same space and you weren't doing the same things that I do,
03:12I get frustrated when I just need to realize that everybody's different.
03:15We all come from different backgrounds. We all have different responsibilities and that's okay.
03:18You just have to be more like compromising. And so I'm going to be a lot more compromising and
03:23I'm a lot more careful about like how I say things. Like if I think I need to bring it to
03:29the front and talk about it. Okay. That's fine. But there's a lot of a nicer way to say things.
03:34I think I can just be a lot kinder future relationship.
03:39All of it. Probably. Honestly, like I got him a bitch. Like I am like, I'm a bitch. Like,
03:45like, is it like, is she a bitch or she that bitch? Like type of thing. But like, I'm bitchy
03:49and like, I know that. And I'm direct. And, um, I can be rude a lot because I don't realize my
03:54word. So when I watch it back, you really can see, like, people can tell you things and you
03:58can be like, Oh, okay. Like I should work on that. But when you actually see exactly what's
04:01coming to your mouth to like, Oh, that was harsh. Um, so honestly, specific conversations
04:06with Nick where I'm like, I could have probably like eased up a bit or like I could have chilled
04:11like a lot. And so like specific conversations I'll watch back. I can see about how delivery
04:18is everything and like be like, Ooh, okay. I wasn't wrong, but was that delivery absolutely
04:22horrid? Yes. And so that's mainly when I look back at one. Yeah. Um, I think, um, with Nick,
04:30it would just be like, um, like, why did you let me speak to you in that way? Or like,
04:37why did you let me treat you like that? I shouldn't have treated you like that. Um, and like,
04:42that's a big question too. And it's also just like, if I just feel like if you, if we really
04:47loved each other and stuff, like, why did we want to continue this? If it was just like,
04:51it was making you miserable. Like, I just want to understand. So I think it's just maybe just
04:55three, you know, just want to understand and grasp like, but I, things I just misunderstood
05:00because I misunderstood a lot. And this is what I'll say. I'll say for one thing, it's really
05:04hard because if he was being humorous about like the Travis Kelsey, whatever thing, if that was a
05:09joke, you can't tell what's a joke on the other end. Like it's, I couldn't tell. So like, that's
05:13what you're expecting. But not only that Nick, definitely like, as you'll see, like the other
05:17girls were like, Nick is not unexpected, even though Nick is very attractive. Nick was just
05:22like, I have one green eye, I have one blue eye, I'm Cuban, I'm freckles. I'm a big guy. Like,
05:26so he like painted so much about himself. Like sometimes he'd be like, Nick, shut up.
05:31But he painted this like picture of himself, which is fine. But he gave so much characteristics that
05:35like, you couldn't help but build this person. And when he wasn't that person, which is totally
05:41fine. It was just shocking. I think that was that whole situation. I think we were both guilty in
05:45that way that like, I took what he said and ran with it, even though that's because my own
05:51imagination, but he also gave away a lot of information to where like, I did have an image
05:55of him. I guess me like talking about how I was a cheerleader, like apparently it was a thing too.
05:59And you can say things and like, I was a cheerleader. I'm like, have y'all ever seen a
06:03fat cheerleader before? Okay. I'm from town. But like I did, I guess, cause you're in there and
06:09you're so confident. So you're just like talking and you're not even thinking that like things that
06:12you're saying could give away what you look like or paint a picture of something that's not the
06:16reality. And I think we're definitely both guilty of it. Even if we didn't mean to, we were guilty
06:20of it. And so when we see each other, yeah, it's definitely like, I was just honest. Like I just
06:25was honest to the camera. Like I wasn't lying. Like I just thought he would be like this. And
06:28when you, I thought he was so much taller than me and he wasn't, but it's just in your mind,
06:32you're like, I'm a giant in that moment. You know?