The Three Badasses Who Want Me 2024 Full Movie
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives at Atlanta today.
00:00:12What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:16Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:21If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:26Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:29What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:00:32it to your penniless self?
00:00:34And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:38All right, everybody get out!
00:00:41We got an important guest coming!
00:00:45You!
00:00:50You deaf?
00:00:51I said pack up and scram!
00:00:52I paid the staff here already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have
00:00:57to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:59You want to say that again?
00:01:03You know who's visiting today?
00:01:06Ellen freakin' Musk!
00:01:07One of the richest people in the world!
00:01:09Ellen Musk?
00:01:10Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:13Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:17Really?
00:01:18Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:01:23You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:28Coming to see you?
00:01:31All right, you know what, I'll play your game.
00:01:34If she does this so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:41Deal.
00:01:50Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes, or else, you're fired.
00:01:58Hmm.
00:02:14Prepare the limo.
00:02:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:02:24Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:26Good.
00:02:28We don't wet your pants.
00:02:29Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:41Ellen!
00:02:42Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk!
00:02:44Ellen!
00:02:45Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:50How's my boss bitch?
00:02:52Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:02:54So, how do you, like...
00:02:56She's my boss.
00:02:58Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:03No way.
00:03:07Well?
00:03:12No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss.
00:03:14No, I won't do it again.
00:03:19All right, that's enough.
00:03:20We're not tyrants here.
00:03:24Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:36You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:38The runaway bride.
00:03:41You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:45Who are you?
00:03:49Where is she?
00:03:50Atlanta.
00:03:51And you were right.
00:03:53It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:55My clever bride.
00:03:57I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:04Max, prep the jet.
00:04:06I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:12Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:04:14He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:15Atlanta?
00:04:16The game is afoot.
00:04:17I'm going.
00:04:18Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:21He can wait.
00:04:23I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:28Dr. Wilson!
00:04:35General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:38Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:41Atlanta!
00:04:43Where is that?
00:04:45Whatever, prepare my warplanes.
00:04:47Those two are going after my fiancee.
00:04:50This is war.
00:04:53Go!
00:05:07I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:13Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:14This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:18That project is worth billions.
00:05:19He can finally take his company public.
00:05:22But, Angela, my boss, I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:32Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:37Well, three years ago...
00:05:52You...
00:05:59You saved me.
00:06:04He saved me and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:08I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:15But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:23So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:26I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:31But why work at the flea market?
00:06:33Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:37Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:43Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:47You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:52Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:57Get home stacked. It's a big day today.
00:07:02That was...
00:07:04My mother-in-law, Carol, she judges me because she thinks I come from a lower class family.
00:07:09But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:15You know, she even remembered our 30 year anniversary.
00:07:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:27Hi, I'm home. I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:31Finally, you're back. Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:37Divorce papers?
00:07:39Is this some sort of misunderstanding, mom?
00:07:43God, don't call me mom again. We're ending that relationship.
00:07:49Just look at you. Dirt all over. You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:54You don't deserve my son. You're way below his league.
00:07:58I'm below his league?
00:08:00That's right. You are.
00:08:03Jared is signing a hundred billion dollar contract tomorrow with THE Ellen Musk.
00:08:09And then his company's going public.
00:08:12That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:15But you? You're still just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:08:20Jared's like the king in the clouds. And you...
00:08:24You will always just be a pawn. Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:31Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:34But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:37You're delusional. You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:42How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here.
00:08:47Resorting to lies. Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:51And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:57You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:02Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee. Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:07Enough!
00:09:09Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:13But I am.
00:09:15Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:17Here's 500K. You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:23Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave. Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:29I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:34Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:37I didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:40Fine. Here's another 200,000.
00:09:43500,000 is too much for her already. She's done nothing.
00:09:48Hasn't even contributed a penny.
00:09:51Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:54She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:57Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:10:01I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:05You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:10And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench?
00:10:14A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:18What a joke.
00:10:20If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:26And leave!
00:10:29You really think that Jared would have gotten that Maple Plaza bid without me?
00:10:34Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:37I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:40Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:47It's all my work!
00:10:50Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:58You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:03So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:07She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:11Fine. I'll sign it.
00:11:15But don't regret it.
00:11:17Regret?
00:11:19Do you know who I am?
00:11:21Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:26I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:29Jared winning the bid on Maple Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:35Because he's business partners with Ellen Musk.
00:11:38It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:43You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:47Social stratum matters.
00:11:49Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:53And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:56And you really think Ellen Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:12:01Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:04Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:10You owe me.
00:12:12You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:12:17You hit me.
00:12:21Now sign the papers, take a check, and get the fuck out!
00:12:39I don't need your penny money.
00:12:42We're finished.
00:12:44You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:47Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:50But I would like my ring back.
00:13:03Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private jet.
00:13:08And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:15Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:19It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:23Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:26Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:29You're right.
00:13:31It's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:34Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:37You're right. She could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:43Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:48Oh! My dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:55Bigger big shot than Ellen Musk?
00:13:58Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:02Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:20Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:26Vanderbilt?
00:14:28Yeah, he's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically, our employee.
00:14:32Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:35You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:39That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:58Angela Lockhart.
00:15:01I finally found you.
00:15:03Who is he?
00:15:05That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:08He's number one on Forbes' 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:15Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:18And he's your fiancé.
00:15:21What? What? My fiancé?
00:15:25The one and only.
00:15:27So, after running away and leaving me single for three years,
00:15:32have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:15:36Babe?
00:15:44That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:50What is she wearing?
00:15:53What is she doing here?
00:15:58You skank! My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:05Divorced?
00:16:07That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:13Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:17So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:21Guess she's not just a forsaken woman, she's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:29How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:32Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:35Do you know who I am?
00:16:38They don't know who you are.
00:16:41You hide it well.
00:16:43X-Team!
00:16:45Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:48Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:51Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:58You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:05Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:12Tell these ill-mannered apes out!
00:17:15Oh, you bitch! I'll have my son teach you a real lesson!
00:17:20Don't be ridiculous.
00:17:25A kiss as a reward, my lady?
00:17:29No.
00:17:37Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:40You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:45Gentlemen, Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:48Pleased to meet you all.
00:17:50Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:17:54I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project.
00:17:57It's worth billions of dollars.
00:17:59Congrats. You'll be next.
00:18:01Thank you. But we haven't received the contract yet, but we deserve it.
00:18:05Oh, that's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:08Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:11So, thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:15Thank you, Mr. Manville.
00:18:16Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:21Yes. I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:25Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:28Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:37I'll do my best.
00:18:43Excuse me.
00:18:45Second gentleman.
00:18:47What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:51How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:54Me? A hobo? How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:59You sleep your way in?
00:19:01I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:04Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:07Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:11This is your ex-husband?
00:19:15What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:17Who the hell is this?
00:19:19You were cheating on me?
00:19:32Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:36That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:41They even took Kaylee's tiara!
00:19:44Ah!
00:19:55You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:20:00Get your hands off of her!
00:20:06My lady.
00:20:14Hi, Queen.
00:20:24It's...
00:20:26It's him!
00:20:28He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:20:32Who are these peasants?
00:20:34These seats are reserved for the Prince of Bhutan.
00:20:38I'm the Prince of Bhutan?
00:20:40Yes.
00:20:42These seats are reserved for the Ellen Musketer special guest.
00:20:46Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:49You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:53Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:55That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:57You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:21:00His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:04This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:07Vanderbilt.
00:21:09The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:14who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:18That lonely Vanderbilt family?
00:21:27Oh, goddammit, a stomachache now?
00:21:33Whatever.
00:21:35Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:21:38She'll be fine.
00:21:51How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:54I'm Harley Evan Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:59I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:03And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:07Not with me around.
00:22:09I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:14You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:19You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:21We've had enough of your games.
00:22:23Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:27Looks like the old guard is teaming up against you.
00:22:30But don't worry, you got new money.
00:22:33I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:36Yes, my queen.
00:22:38You're all despicable.
00:22:41An insult to your family names.
00:22:46Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:50Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:53Cut off all business ties.
00:22:56And if you don't,
00:22:58I will take away all of your family's wealth.
00:23:01And power.
00:23:03I knew it.
00:23:05You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:07You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:09How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:13You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:17You have nothing.
00:23:19And you will always be nothing.
00:23:21She's a gold digger.
00:23:23Gold digger.
00:23:25Gigolo.
00:23:27Wanna try me for a night?
00:23:29Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:32Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:35They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:38Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:40She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:43I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:45Security!
00:23:51Security!
00:23:53You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:56And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:58You!
00:24:00Insolent fools.
00:24:02Let me guess.
00:24:04You're that special guest?
00:24:06I don't know.
00:24:08Throw them out!
00:24:10And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:18Back down, Max.
00:24:23I got this.
00:24:28I got this.
00:24:52What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:54I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:56No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:59Oh my god, we're so screwed!
00:25:10Angela!
00:25:12Don't hurt her!
00:25:14You bitch. I've always been sick of you.
00:25:16You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:18How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:20Boss? Did she say her boss?
00:25:22Miss Musk?
00:25:24That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:26That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:28My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:32Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:35Past the American Revolution?
00:25:37Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:39If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:42That's Lady Lockhart to you. She's royalty.
00:25:45And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:49What the hell did you do?
00:25:51Kneel to me!
00:25:53Your majesty!
00:25:55Welcome to the United States.
00:25:58We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:26:01Yes, your highness.
00:26:03Is it queen or prince?
00:26:05It doesn't matter.
00:26:07My queen, please forgive our insolence.
00:26:10We didn't mean to offend.
00:26:12What are you doing, idiot?
00:26:14Let go of the boss lady and beg for forgiveness.
00:26:18Your highness!
00:26:28What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:31She's a badass herself.
00:26:33He missed out on a good wife.
00:26:35You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:39Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag this entire time.
00:26:42No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:44I work hard for everyone.
00:26:46I'm not a hippie.
00:26:48I'm not a hippie.
00:26:50I'm not a hippie.
00:26:52I'm not a hippie.
00:26:54I'm not a hippie.
00:26:56I'm not a hippie.
00:26:58I'm not a hippie.
00:26:59Don't believe their lies.
00:27:01I work hard for everything.
00:27:03You worked for everything?
00:27:09Hi, honey.
00:27:11So, our 30th anniversary is coming up
00:27:14and I thought that maybe we can do something special this year.
00:27:17I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:19I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Closet project
00:27:22and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:29You were nothing before me.
00:27:32All your achievements,
00:27:34all your glory,
00:27:36that's all mine.
00:27:38Including the Maple Closet contract.
00:27:41I can take all of that away.
00:27:44Just like that.
00:27:46No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:48That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:51Oh, and
00:27:53this antique wedding ring?
00:27:55Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:57It was Queen Victoria's.
00:27:59And it's worth is equivalent
00:28:01to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:10I gave you back the ring?
00:28:12I divorced a royal heiress?
00:28:14No!
00:28:16No, please!
00:28:18No, please take me back, baby!
00:28:20I still love you!
00:28:24Oh, man.
00:28:26Looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:27No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:36God, these two again.
00:28:38Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:41President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:43After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:45each of his descendants have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:28:48the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:50Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:52Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:54I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:28:55Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:29:01And that there is,
00:29:03that is the legendary boy genius,
00:29:05Dr. Wilson.
00:29:07He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:09Dr. House?
00:29:11I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:13Oh, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:15Yep, that's me.
00:29:17Son of James House.
00:29:19Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:21I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:29:23when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:25Found himself a waterfall
00:29:27somewhere in the Netherlands
00:29:29for the last 15 months.
00:29:31And I'm late
00:29:33because I ran out of gum
00:29:35and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:37Hey, Ellen.
00:29:39Who are these weirdos
00:29:41and why are they here?
00:29:43Uh, they're all your fiancés.
00:29:45What?
00:29:47Fiancés?
00:29:49Plural?
00:29:51Fiancés?
00:29:53Plural?
00:29:55I'm her fiancé.
00:29:57No, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:59You can both shut up.
00:30:01I'm her fiancé.
00:30:02It's you.
00:30:03It's me.
00:30:04Who the hell is he?
00:30:05I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:07How are all three
00:30:09of these men
00:30:11my fiancé?
00:30:13Your father had arranged
00:30:15these engagements years ago
00:30:17but I didn't tell you
00:30:19because he decided
00:30:21to marry Jared Cooper
00:30:22at the time.
00:30:23Whatever.
00:30:25Since you're all here
00:30:27help me finish him.
00:30:30Since you're all here
00:30:32help me finish him.
00:30:35At your service.
00:30:37Me too.
00:30:43One down, two more to go.
00:30:45She's become queen.
00:30:47Bishop to G4.
00:30:48Ow!
00:30:50Ow!
00:30:51What is that?
00:30:53The most German festin' water
00:30:55in the Nile River.
00:30:59Rook to A8.
00:31:06Hello?
00:31:09I thought I was king.
00:31:11No, you wish.
00:31:13The king doesn't do anything
00:31:15so Alan can be my king.
00:31:16Alan can be my king.
00:31:18Oh, fine.
00:31:22Bankrupt to four.
00:31:23It's right this second.
00:31:29I...
00:31:31I've been bankrupt!
00:31:33No!
00:31:35Who is he?
00:31:41I've been bankrupt!
00:31:43No!
00:31:44I told you
00:31:45I would remove all of you
00:31:46from status and power
00:31:47if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:49Well, guess what?
00:31:50Game over.
00:31:51Alright, boys.
00:31:52Let's figure out
00:31:53this four-way engagement.
00:31:55Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:57I'm right with you.
00:31:59Wait for me.
00:32:01Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:11Angela!
00:32:15You already have
00:32:16three fiancés?
00:32:18You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:20I...
00:32:21want compensation.
00:32:25You greedy SOB.
00:32:27Who the fuck is that?
00:32:28My ex-husband.
00:32:30Wait.
00:32:31You were married?
00:32:32Yeah, and
00:32:33if that's a problem for you
00:32:34then you can totally
00:32:35back out of this engagement.
00:32:37More for me.
00:32:38No, no.
00:32:39Of course not.
00:32:40Just...
00:32:41Do you want me to check
00:32:42your eyes for you?
00:32:43Don't steal my joke.
00:32:44They can disappear
00:32:45without a trace.
00:32:46All the evidence
00:32:47of your past with him
00:32:48will be gone.
00:32:49What?
00:32:50Is there something
00:32:51on my face?
00:32:52Uh, yeah.
00:32:53Murderous intent.
00:32:55Let's remarry.
00:32:57Let's remarry.
00:32:59You still don't realize
00:33:01I only fell in love with you
00:33:02because you saved me
00:33:03from drowning
00:33:04three years ago.
00:33:14I'm sorry.
00:33:31Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:32We need to wreck right away.
00:33:34Nicole Eisenhower
00:33:35and Shane Wilson
00:33:36are causing mayhem
00:33:37at the company warehouse.
00:33:39Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:42She should be okay now.
00:33:44Hey, you.
00:33:46Watch over here.
00:33:47I'll be right back.
00:33:56You saved me.
00:34:00Fuck.
00:34:01I unwittingly
00:34:02gave away my own wife.
00:34:05Fuck.
00:34:06I unwittingly
00:34:07gave away my own wife.
00:34:08You've cheated on me.
00:34:10You've hit me.
00:34:11You've cheated on me.
00:34:12You've cheated on me.
00:34:13You've hit me.
00:34:15And you've insulted me.
00:34:17And after all that
00:34:18I never want to see you again.
00:34:21I fucking hate you.
00:34:23Middle lady Lockhart.
00:34:26What now?
00:34:28Yes.
00:34:29We understand
00:34:30that you are a
00:34:31very busy person
00:34:32but if you're not going
00:34:33to give your ex-husband
00:34:34the Maple Plaza project
00:34:36How about us three?
00:34:37Yes.
00:34:38Unlike that scumbag
00:34:39we won't turn on you.
00:34:41Yeah.
00:34:42No.
00:34:43You're all fired
00:34:44for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:45But
00:34:47This is your fault you doofus.
00:34:48We never should have
00:34:49believed your bullshit.
00:34:51No.
00:34:52No.
00:34:53We can't lose our positions
00:34:55with Ellen Musk
00:34:56and the Lockharts.
00:34:58Our family.
00:35:00I'll get you for this.
00:35:07I never should have
00:35:08listened to you.
00:35:09I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:10I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:25So
00:35:26what's the situation here?
00:35:27I don't want to marry you.
00:35:37I don't want to marry you.
00:35:40Listen
00:35:42I only met you guys
00:35:43a few hours ago
00:35:44and
00:35:45I'm not interested
00:35:46in flash marriages.
00:35:47But
00:35:48what if I told you
00:35:50that we've known each other
00:35:51for much longer
00:35:52than just a few hours.
00:35:53Much longer.
00:35:58Angela
00:35:59Your parents would like
00:36:00to have a video call
00:36:01with
00:36:02all of you.
00:36:06My lovely princess
00:36:07how are you?
00:36:08Look
00:36:09your mother and I
00:36:10are in Italy.
00:36:11The views here
00:36:12are absolutely stunning.
00:36:13Perfect for a wedding
00:36:14wouldn't you say?
00:36:16I heard
00:36:17you finally
00:36:18divorced
00:36:19that
00:36:20good for nothing
00:36:21blood sucking
00:36:22free little husband
00:36:23of yours.
00:36:24Can't call his name
00:36:25but
00:36:26anyway
00:36:27congratulations
00:36:28I've selected
00:36:29three
00:36:30prime young men
00:36:31for you to choose from
00:36:32to replace him.
00:36:34You must pick
00:36:35one of them to marry
00:36:36otherwise
00:36:37Let me do it.
00:36:39You must choose
00:36:40one of them
00:36:41in seven days
00:36:42otherwise
00:36:44we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:46Mom!
00:36:48Alright honey
00:36:49that's it.
00:36:50Bye
00:36:51Bye
00:36:55So
00:36:56who are you going to choose?
00:36:59Well
00:37:01what if I
00:37:02want
00:37:03all three of you?
00:37:05Well
00:37:06what if I
00:37:07want
00:37:08all three of you?
00:37:10That seems greedy
00:37:17But
00:37:19I can always
00:37:20remove the other two options.
00:37:22Hey
00:37:23I may be a doctor
00:37:24but I can take lives too.
00:37:26I know
00:37:27and have access
00:37:28to all the deadliest
00:37:29poisons in the world.
00:37:31Well
00:37:32okay
00:37:33no murder please
00:37:34I was just kidding
00:37:36We have
00:37:37seven days
00:37:38to win her over.
00:37:40It's like
00:37:41The Bachelorette
00:37:42I know
00:37:43we'll start
00:37:44with challenge one.
00:37:47Welcome to the show
00:37:48The Three Badasses
00:37:49Who Want Me
00:37:51Today
00:37:52we have our first
00:37:53challenge.
00:37:55What
00:37:56is
00:37:57all of this
00:37:58Ellen?
00:37:59You'll see.
00:38:06Oh my god
00:38:07oh my god
00:38:08cockroaches!
00:38:10All women
00:38:11are afraid
00:38:12of cockroaches
00:38:13and it is
00:38:14every man's job
00:38:15to save
00:38:16their beloved woman
00:38:17from this monstrosity
00:38:18of a creature.
00:38:19What will
00:38:20our three candidates
00:38:21do to prove
00:38:22their undying love
00:38:23for our single
00:38:24but screaming
00:38:25her head off heiress?
00:38:34Looks like
00:38:35one of our contestants
00:38:36has already
00:38:37called it quits.
00:38:38It's up
00:38:39to the final two.
00:39:03Crunchy
00:39:04and sick cold.
00:39:05Hey
00:39:06when you're stranded
00:39:07in the middle of the battlefield
00:39:08you'll be glad
00:39:09to see one of these around.
00:39:12There are two more left
00:39:13want to try one?
00:39:14Oh my god
00:39:15no
00:39:16no
00:39:17Oh my god
00:39:18save
00:39:19save you
00:39:20you're going to save me
00:39:24I'm a German phobic doctor
00:39:25these hands
00:39:26can't get germs on them
00:39:27they're for surgery
00:39:28and saving lives.
00:39:34Wooo
00:39:39Wooo
00:39:44Thank god you're here.
00:39:48Are you alright honey?
00:39:50Angela
00:39:54Alright you won the first challenge
00:39:55so your reward
00:39:56you get to watch over her
00:39:58for the night
00:39:59just don't
00:40:00cross the line
00:40:01if you know what I mean.
00:40:02I'm not her scumbag husband
00:40:03you have nothing
00:40:04to worry about.
00:40:10Honestly
00:40:11even if you guys fuck
00:40:12it's not like it's
00:40:13against the rules or anything
00:40:14at least my girl
00:40:15can get some.
00:40:16I bet her husband
00:40:17has a small dick anyway.
00:40:20The cockroaches
00:40:21They're gone
00:40:22they're gone
00:40:23there's nothing
00:40:24in this room
00:40:25except you and me
00:40:26okay?
00:40:27I'm going
00:40:28to kill
00:40:29Ellen
00:40:30when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:33I need a drink.
00:40:42Woah
00:40:43easy
00:40:44you're on an empty stomach.
00:40:45Oh
00:40:46why do you care?
00:40:48Are you trying to drink away
00:40:49your sorrows Angela?
00:40:53You guys were right
00:40:55I was blind
00:40:56for marrying that asshole
00:40:58you know
00:41:00I wasted
00:41:01three
00:41:02whole years
00:41:03of my life
00:41:04with him
00:41:05he never even loved me
00:41:07and I gave up
00:41:08my entire career
00:41:09for him.
00:41:13Do you really
00:41:14think that you would
00:41:15still be number one
00:41:16on the Forbes
00:41:1730 under 30 list
00:41:18if I was around?
00:41:21You may not be
00:41:22number one
00:41:23on Forbes list
00:41:24but
00:41:25you know what
00:41:26you're number one in?
00:41:27What?
00:41:28You're number one
00:41:29here.
00:41:35You know
00:41:36we've known each other
00:41:37kind of a long time
00:41:39Lies
00:41:42You always
00:41:43want something from me
00:41:49Angela
00:41:51I know
00:41:52it's hard
00:41:53to trust again
00:41:55but I
00:41:56assure you
00:41:57I don't care
00:41:59what family
00:42:00you're from
00:42:02I'm the richest man
00:42:03in the nation
00:42:04I don't need your
00:42:05your power
00:42:06your
00:42:07your status
00:42:08your wealth
00:42:09your connections
00:42:11I just need you
00:42:15I'll prove my love
00:42:16to you
00:42:17within six days
00:42:18I promise
00:42:27Screw the contest
00:42:29I just want love
00:42:32Angela
00:42:34You're drunk
00:42:36I'm an adult
00:42:37Can't a girl
00:42:38just get what she wants?
00:42:40Okay
00:42:45But love and sex
00:42:46aren't exactly the same thing
00:42:49Well
00:42:50they're not
00:42:51mutually exclusive either
00:42:52This is what you want
00:43:22Nine inch penis
00:43:24Morning to you too
00:43:26You sure you were drunk
00:43:27last night?
00:43:28You wouldn't
00:43:29A girl remembers
00:43:30when she's had a
00:43:31nine inch
00:43:32penis
00:43:33inside of her
00:43:34Well
00:43:35glad you enjoyed it
00:43:37But
00:43:38don't tell
00:43:39Shane or Cole
00:43:41because then
00:43:42they would
00:43:43Say that you were
00:43:44being unkind
00:43:45to me
00:43:46I'm not
00:43:47being unkind
00:43:48to you
00:43:49I'm not
00:43:50being unkind
00:43:51Say that you were
00:43:52being unfair
00:43:54Technically
00:43:55us having sex
00:43:56doesn't break any rules
00:43:57I won the first challenge
00:43:58and
00:43:59according to Ellen
00:44:00my prize
00:44:01was to spend a night
00:44:02with you anyways
00:44:04Don't make this
00:44:05any harder
00:44:06than it already is
00:44:10You sure
00:44:11you don't want it
00:44:12pretty hard?
00:44:17Fine
00:44:18fine
00:44:21I won't tell
00:44:23but only
00:44:24on one condition
00:44:27I won't tell
00:44:29but only
00:44:30on one condition
00:44:32You have to go out
00:44:33on a date with me
00:44:35Fine
00:44:39I've had a crush
00:44:40on you since
00:44:41college Angela
00:44:43You never noticed me
00:44:49You should
00:44:51get out of here
00:44:52before anyone sees you
00:44:55It's only 7am
00:44:56She's still sleeping
00:44:57I'm not sleeping alone
00:44:58Yeah
00:44:59I'm not letting my fiance
00:45:00be alone with another man
00:45:01for another second
00:45:05Morning gentlemen
00:45:06Oh
00:45:07or shall I say
00:45:08rough men
00:45:09Oh don't
00:45:10mind him
00:45:11What's up guys?
00:45:12We're ready
00:45:13for the second challenge
00:45:15No cockroaches
00:45:16this time
00:45:17Yes
00:45:18No more terrifying things
00:45:19That was my bad Angela
00:45:20This better be
00:45:21a good challenge
00:45:22Ellen
00:45:23I'm sure you'll all
00:45:24enjoy this one
00:45:25The second challenge is
00:45:27The second challenge is
00:45:29A date
00:45:30Lame
00:45:31I should have asked
00:45:32for something else
00:45:33A date?
00:45:34That's it
00:45:35What's the catch?
00:45:36No catch
00:45:37Just who Miss Lockhart
00:45:38enjoys spending her time
00:45:39with the most
00:45:40As simple as that
00:45:41I know what I want to do
00:45:42Let's start with me first
00:45:43Okay
00:45:44Who's up first?
00:45:45Then
00:45:46Me
00:45:47Save the best for last
00:45:48Ain't that right Angela?
00:45:49Then it's decided
00:45:54Please
00:45:55Don't take my BMW away
00:45:57Too bad
00:45:58You pissed off
00:45:59the Lockharts
00:46:01I have nothing left
00:46:11It's that bitch
00:46:12who ruined me
00:46:16It's that bitch
00:46:17who ruined me
00:46:19It's that bitch
00:46:26General Eisenhower
00:46:27Sir
00:46:28At ease Lieutenant
00:46:29This is my Lieutenant
00:46:30He also manages
00:46:31this boxing gym
00:46:32Pleasure to meet you
00:46:33Madam Eisenhower
00:46:34He's so serious
00:46:36But
00:46:37hang on
00:46:38Lieutenant
00:46:39I don't know
00:46:40who I'm going to marry yet
00:46:41Baby
00:46:42I decided to take you
00:46:43here on our first date
00:46:44so that I can introduce
00:46:45you to my guns
00:46:46Guns
00:46:47like
00:46:48Weapons
00:46:49Yes
00:46:50Murder weapons
00:47:11Like my guns babe
00:47:12Pretty rock hard
00:47:14Yeah
00:47:15Let me show you
00:47:16what I can do with them
00:47:17Lieutenant
00:47:18Come close
00:47:20Wait
00:47:21You're just going to
00:47:22hit him like that?
00:47:23He's not even going to
00:47:24fight back?
00:47:25Fighting back
00:47:26would be treason ma'am
00:47:27Treason?
00:47:28You guys are way too serious
00:47:30Look you Lockhart
00:47:31bitch I caught you
00:47:32If I'm going down
00:47:33you're all going down
00:47:34with me
00:47:35Lieutenant
00:47:36Pistol attack
00:47:47You dare try
00:47:48to hurt my wife
00:47:52I will make you pay
00:47:55If you don't
00:47:56need to keep
00:47:57beating him up
00:47:58we could just
00:47:59take him to the cops
00:48:00Not when he tries
00:48:01to hurt you
00:48:07Zoe's a bit violent
00:48:08Some might call
00:48:09it being protective
00:48:10Poor anger issues
00:48:11What if we
00:48:12get married
00:48:13and I forget
00:48:14to use a coaster
00:48:15on a date
00:48:16Or I forget
00:48:17to use a coaster
00:48:18on an antique table
00:48:19or something
00:48:20Is he going to be
00:48:21like rough?
00:48:22Hey
00:48:23some girls are into that
00:48:24I don't know if I am
00:48:27Well maybe
00:48:28Shane will be your type
00:48:32Your date with Shane
00:48:33starts
00:48:34now
00:48:37Hey
00:48:39Hey
00:48:40Cool ride
00:48:42A gift from the
00:48:43Chancellor of Germany
00:48:44when I saved his wife
00:48:45Impressive
00:48:49Your breath
00:48:50smells like
00:48:51peppermint
00:48:52Refreshing
00:48:54I got cool mint too
00:48:56Or do you prefer
00:48:57Spearmint?
00:48:59What do you not have
00:49:00in this coat of yours?
00:49:02Fruit flavored gum
00:49:03I can't stand those
00:49:05So where are you
00:49:06taking me Shane?
00:49:07Let me show you
00:49:08Dr. Wilson
00:49:15I'm VIP of VIPs
00:49:17Right this way
00:49:18VIP of VIPs
00:49:20Ah
00:49:21Just some other guy
00:49:22I saved
00:49:23I forget who
00:49:24You saved a lot of people
00:49:26I do what I can
00:49:28Oh my gosh
00:49:30It's my gold digging
00:49:31neighbor who just
00:49:32got dumped by her husband
00:49:34Sandra Miller
00:49:35What are you doing here?
00:49:36I just thought
00:49:37this was for the
00:49:38VIP of VIPs
00:49:39Your mother-in-law
00:49:40told me all about
00:49:41the divorce
00:49:42and how you hired
00:49:43some gigolo
00:49:44to beat her
00:49:45and Kaylee Vanderbilt up
00:49:47Hello of you
00:49:49What are you doing
00:49:50here Sandra?
00:49:51Of course your
00:49:52bird brain wouldn't
00:49:53remember
00:49:54I sell high fashion
00:49:55jewelry pieces
00:49:56so high end
00:49:57you couldn't even
00:49:58afford even a few
00:49:59soldier organs
00:50:00The auction
00:50:01begins
00:50:02I'll deal with you
00:50:03later
00:50:04Later
00:50:06Here I'll just
00:50:07put this here
00:50:12Cameron
00:50:14I have a task for you
00:50:17Our next piece
00:50:18is absolutely
00:50:19extraordinary
00:50:21Cleopatra's armband
00:50:23sold by our vendor
00:50:25Sandra Miller
00:50:27for 5 million dollars
00:50:30Excuse me
00:50:31I'd like to donate
00:50:32this piece to auction
00:50:33It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:50:36I'd like to donate
00:50:37this piece to auction
00:50:39It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:50:40What are you doing?
00:50:42Just watch
00:50:49That is
00:50:50Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:52Please
00:50:53I'm an expert
00:50:54and that's a fake
00:50:55She probably got it
00:50:56at the flea market
00:50:57she works at
00:50:58You work at a flea market?
00:50:59Not this again
00:51:01Cut the bullshit
00:51:02I wouldn't even sell
00:51:03for 5 dollars
00:51:04Oh yeah?
00:51:05Here you want it?
00:51:06For free
00:51:07Ew
00:51:08I don't want that trash
00:51:09from a stinky hippie peddler
00:51:12Well
00:51:13that's too bad then
00:51:14because you
00:51:15are the fraud
00:51:17What are you talking about?
00:51:18And who the hell
00:51:19are you to accuse me?
00:51:21Throw them out
00:51:23Dr. Wilson
00:51:24I know you're a legend
00:51:25in medicine
00:51:26but we're professionals
00:51:28Oh yeah?
00:51:29And that armband
00:51:30sells for 5 million dollars?
00:51:32Yeah
00:51:33Mine is the real thing
00:51:34You two are just upset
00:51:35because you're too
00:51:36poor
00:51:37to afford
00:51:38our luxury items
00:51:40Oh is that so?
00:51:41We're a so-called expert
00:51:42failed to recognize
00:51:43Queen Victoria's ring then
00:51:45Dear Lord
00:51:47This is real
00:51:49It's authentic
00:51:51It's Queen Victoria's ring
00:51:56Karen
00:51:57What have you found?
00:51:59Yeah that picture
00:52:00of Cleopatra's armband
00:52:02you sent me
00:52:03it's a replica
00:52:06They had the same one
00:52:07right here at the flea market
00:52:09So
00:52:11you are the fraud
00:52:13So you just went to the flea market
00:52:14so you can buy some fakes
00:52:16And Cameron
00:52:17how much are these fakes
00:52:18being sold for?
00:52:20150
00:52:21Wow
00:52:22not even 5 dollars
00:52:24Sandra
00:52:25You've been
00:52:26duping us
00:52:27the whole time
00:52:29Arrest her
00:52:30No
00:52:31No
00:52:32Please
00:52:33It was just this one time
00:52:34Please
00:52:35What's going on
00:52:36Dr. Wilson?
00:52:37Uh
00:52:38Investigating lead poisoning
00:52:39from cheap jewelry
00:52:40for the Emperor of Japan
00:52:41Bye
00:52:42Lock Callista
00:52:43from the jewelry industry
00:52:44forever
00:52:53I
00:52:54had a really great
00:52:55time tonight
00:52:56Me too
00:52:57May I
00:52:58have a kiss?
00:53:01Sure
00:53:14Something wrong?
00:53:15Do you
00:53:16always have gum
00:53:17in your mouth?
00:53:23Yep
00:53:24You never have to worry
00:53:25about stinky breath
00:53:26from me
00:53:31Huh
00:53:33You
00:53:35owe us a bunch
00:53:36of money
00:53:37Cooper
00:53:39I don't have any money
00:53:40How did you pay
00:53:41for this hotel then?
00:53:43I guess
00:53:44you'll only pay up
00:53:47if I
00:53:48break your other leg
00:53:49Stop
00:53:54Mr. Vanderbilt
00:53:57Mr. Buffett
00:53:59Mr. Wilson
00:54:00Mr. Buffett
00:54:05This is the contract
00:54:06for the Maple Plaza
00:54:07project
00:54:08That's right
00:54:09Miss Musk
00:54:10wanted me to give it to you
00:54:11I knew
00:54:12Angelo was still
00:54:13in love with me
00:54:14I knew
00:54:15Angelo was still
00:54:16in love with me
00:54:17No, no
00:54:18Sir
00:54:19Sorry about those
00:54:20injuries from earlier
00:54:21It was all just
00:54:22a little misunderstanding
00:54:23Yeah
00:54:24We could be
00:54:25partners again
00:54:26And then
00:54:27maybe you can
00:54:28tell
00:54:29Mr. Lockhart
00:54:30put in a good word
00:54:31for us
00:54:32Angela still loves me
00:54:33She's just throwing a fit
00:54:34She'll be back
00:54:35to me soon enough
00:54:36Yeah
00:54:37Do you need any help
00:54:38winning her back?
00:54:39We can give you
00:54:40jewelry to give to her
00:54:42I was just sucking up
00:54:43to these pricks
00:54:44a few days ago
00:54:45and now they're all
00:54:46begging me
00:54:47to help them out
00:54:48It feels so damn
00:54:49good to be in power
00:54:51Sure
00:54:52I'll put in
00:54:53a good word for you
00:54:54I just need
00:54:55Anything
00:54:56You tell us
00:54:57we'll give you anything
00:54:58Before I take
00:54:59everything from
00:55:00these idiots
00:55:01I'll go after
00:55:02Angela Lockhart
00:55:03for my revenge
00:55:10I'm giving the contract
00:55:11to Jared Cooper
00:55:12just like you asked me to
00:55:13Well done
00:55:14He'll be fucked soon
00:55:17Well done
00:55:18He'll be fucked soon
00:55:20I don't get it Ms. Musk
00:55:21That contract
00:55:22has a preliminary clause
00:55:23It requires him
00:55:24to pay 50%
00:55:25of the costs upfront
00:55:26as a deposit
00:55:27And if he can't
00:55:28then what?
00:55:29He'll be bankrupt
00:55:30So as long
00:55:31as he's greedy
00:55:32I have to take it
00:55:34I'm avenging
00:55:35my best friend
00:55:36I want to show
00:55:37the world that
00:55:38without Angela Lockhart
00:55:39he's nothing
00:55:46I signed
00:55:47the Maple Plaza project
00:55:49We should celebrate
00:55:50You did?
00:55:52You see
00:55:53I know my son
00:55:54has it in him
00:55:55That skank Angela
00:55:56There's nothing
00:55:57next to you
00:55:58And it's all
00:55:59thanks to you
00:56:00sweetheart
00:56:01Actually
00:56:02it's thanks to Angela
00:56:05What?
00:56:07You're trying to ditch me
00:56:08to go back to your wife?
00:56:10Oh no no no
00:56:11He's not
00:56:12Jared
00:56:13What are you doing?
00:56:14You have such a
00:56:15beautiful and bright
00:56:16future ahead of you
00:56:17Do it
00:56:18It's my decision
00:56:19Mom
00:56:20I'm the head
00:56:21of the house here
00:56:22I'm telling my dad
00:56:23Fine
00:56:24Go right ahead
00:56:25He'll deal with
00:56:26the problems himself
00:56:27If you're obedient
00:56:28I'll keep you around
00:56:29as his side piece
00:56:30But if not
00:56:31you can scram
00:56:32Dad
00:56:33Jared is being
00:56:34mean to me
00:56:35Teach him a lesson
00:56:36Kaylee
00:56:37Be a good girl
00:56:38Okay?
00:56:39Jared has the backing
00:56:40of some very
00:56:41powerful people now
00:56:42Don't get on
00:56:43his bad side
00:56:44We can't afford
00:56:45to piss him off
00:56:46So do as he says
00:56:48But dad
00:56:55I'm sorry
00:56:57I'll be your
00:56:58side piece
00:56:59Very good
00:57:00I'm happy
00:57:01you've come around
00:57:02Now let's go
00:57:03celebrate
00:57:06I mean
00:57:07do I really want
00:57:08to be with
00:57:09Mr. Minty Mouth
00:57:10forever though?
00:57:11But that tongue
00:57:12action though
00:57:13Tongue is important
00:57:14in more than
00:57:15just one spot
00:57:16Ellen
00:57:17we are in public
00:57:18It's true
00:57:19Oh
00:57:20Stomach ache
00:57:21Again?
00:57:22I have to run
00:57:23to the bathroom
00:57:24I'll be here
00:57:25to pick you up soon
00:57:26Okay
00:57:27Devin's late
00:57:29Not a good sign
00:57:30for a date
00:57:33This hotel restaurant
00:57:34has five
00:57:35Michelin stars
00:57:38It's her
00:57:39And she's alone
00:57:40with no one
00:57:41to save her
00:57:44You whore
00:57:45You seduced my son
00:57:46so he'd get back
00:57:47with you
00:57:51Let me tell you
00:57:52I would never
00:57:53go back
00:57:54even if your
00:57:55entire family
00:57:56got down
00:57:57on their knees
00:57:58and begged me
00:58:01Hey
00:58:02you guys can fight
00:58:03all you want
00:58:04but you need to
00:58:05take this somewhere else
00:58:06Whoever gets rid
00:58:07of her for me
00:58:08gets all this
00:58:09What?
00:58:10Why do I have to leave?
00:58:11She's the one
00:58:12starting shit
00:58:13Because I have money
00:58:14and you don't
00:58:15You're just
00:58:16a stinky hippie peddler
00:58:17and my son
00:58:18just signed
00:58:19a 100 billion dollar
00:58:20contract
00:58:21He still got
00:58:22Hmm
00:58:23Must be Ellen's doing
00:58:24Even if he does
00:58:25sign it
00:58:26he doesn't have
00:58:27the liquidity
00:58:28to pay the deposit up front
00:58:29Oh
00:58:30He's just gonna
00:58:31Bet you've never seen
00:58:32this much cash before
00:58:34Bet you've never seen
00:58:35this much cash before
00:58:39You take my charity
00:58:40and toss it in my face
00:58:42as if it's your own
00:58:44My maid
00:58:45wouldn't even pick up
00:58:46such a pitiful amount
00:58:47One thousand dollars
00:58:48to take her away
00:58:50Two thousand dollars
00:58:51to drag her away
00:58:53Five thousand dollars
00:58:54to beat her away
00:58:58Oh
00:58:59Oh
00:59:00Hey
00:59:01Hey
00:59:02Ow
00:59:05You okay?
00:59:06Are you hurt?
00:59:11Weekly
00:59:12You
00:59:13You
00:59:14Just a few days ago
00:59:15you found yourself
00:59:16a boy toy
00:59:17right after getting divorced
00:59:18and now you have
00:59:19two more
00:59:20What a whore
00:59:21Yeah
00:59:22And Jared wanted
00:59:23to get back with her
00:59:25What if she has an STD?
00:59:27Oh like sleeping
00:59:28with a married man
00:59:29wouldn't give you an STD
00:59:31Let's go
00:59:32We'll expose her
00:59:33to Jared
00:59:34Hang on
00:59:36What do you want?
00:59:37I'll scream
00:59:39I don't hate women
00:59:40But I never said
00:59:41I don't kill women
00:59:44But I never said
00:59:45I don't kill women
00:59:46I said I don't kill women
00:59:48Oh God
00:59:49He is a murderer
00:59:50What if he murders me?
00:59:51Not him
00:59:52Definitely not him
00:59:58We're not
00:59:59afraid of you
01:00:00That's enough
01:00:01This isn't a war zone
01:00:02You'll be removed
01:00:03from being a five-star general
01:00:04if you hurt a civilian
01:00:05without adequate cause
01:00:07I was just messing with him
01:00:09Was he though?
01:00:10We're not afraid of you
01:00:12Jared
01:00:13You have to avenge us
01:00:14Jared
01:00:15Jared
01:00:16Jared
01:00:17You have to avenge us
01:00:18Look at this slut
01:00:19She's found
01:00:20two more boy toys
01:00:21She's cheating on you
01:00:22Don't get back with her
01:00:23Oh Mr. Cooper
01:00:24It's you
01:00:25I apologize
01:00:26for this scene
01:00:27I'll toss out
01:00:28the potty crashes
01:00:29immediately
01:00:30so that you can
01:00:31go to your salvation banquet
01:00:32Who did you say
01:00:33you were gonna toss out?
01:00:34Who did you say
01:00:35you were gonna toss out?
01:00:36The potty crashes
01:00:40You have any idea
01:00:41who that is?
01:00:42That's my wife
01:00:43We saved that title
01:00:44for the real skank
01:00:45over there
01:00:46That's right
01:00:47Know your place
01:00:48Shut up
01:00:49She's cheating on you
01:00:53Know your place
01:00:54You're just a side piece
01:00:55If I still want you
01:00:56that is
01:00:57Eric
01:00:58Have you gone mad?
01:00:59This is Eric Vanderbilt's
01:01:00only daughter
01:01:01You slap her
01:01:02for this whore
01:01:03Mom
01:01:04They really think
01:01:05there's something, huh?
01:01:06Angela's an heiress
01:01:07to a family
01:01:08whose wealth and status
01:01:09goes back to the Victorian age
01:01:10She's richer even
01:01:11than Ellen Musk
01:01:13I only got
01:01:14the Maple Closet project
01:01:15because she
01:01:16gave it to me
01:01:17What?
01:01:19You apologize
01:01:20right now
01:01:21or I will kick you
01:01:22and your father
01:01:23to the curb
01:01:29I'm sorry
01:01:31No
01:01:33This can't be
01:01:34I made you
01:01:36divorce
01:01:39Go home
01:01:41You're not suited
01:01:42to come with me
01:01:43to my celebration banquet
01:01:45No
01:01:49I apologize
01:01:50on behalf of my mother
01:01:52Honey
01:01:53I know you came
01:01:54here to celebrate
01:01:55my achievements
01:01:56I promise
01:01:57no one will bother
01:01:58you anymore
01:01:59I didn't come here
01:02:00for you
01:02:01I'm
01:02:02on a date
01:02:03A date
01:02:04with two men
01:02:05at the same time?
01:02:07She really is a whore
01:02:08Angela
01:02:09please forgive me
01:02:10I really do
01:02:11love you
01:02:12Aho!
01:02:13Lady Lockhart
01:02:14is here
01:02:16Aho!
01:02:17Lady Lockhart
01:02:18is here
01:02:21Yeah
01:02:22we already know
01:02:23you beat Forzath
01:02:25We're too old
01:02:26for that
01:02:27They're here
01:02:28for my celebration banquet
01:02:29Please
01:02:30you gave me
01:02:31the contract
01:02:32so if anyone
01:02:33should go
01:02:34as my guest of honour
01:02:35it should be you
01:02:36Oh yes
01:02:37please Miss Lockhart
01:02:38join us
01:02:39we'll all be one
01:02:40happy business family
01:02:41Hi again
01:02:42What the hell
01:02:43are you all doing here?
01:02:44Where were you?
01:02:46Stomach issues
01:02:48Again?
01:02:49Would you like
01:02:50my diagnosis?
01:02:51No
01:02:53Let me make myself
01:02:54clear
01:02:55okay?
01:02:57I would rather die
01:02:58than be with you
01:02:59again
01:03:00She knows
01:03:01that they're not
01:03:02actually on good terms
01:03:04I can't lose face
01:03:05in front of these pricks
01:03:06otherwise
01:03:07they'll cut me off too
01:03:08Angela
01:03:09I know you're still mad
01:03:10but if you give me a chance
01:03:11I'll prove it to you
01:03:13You want a chance?
01:03:14Angela
01:03:15No
01:03:16You have three
01:03:17great guys here
01:03:18who all want to marry you
01:03:19Don't take him back
01:03:21I'll give you two choices
01:03:24I'll give you two choices
01:03:28Me
01:03:30or the contract
01:03:31You're kidding me
01:03:33No
01:03:34I'm not kidding you
01:03:36If you choose me
01:03:37we can
01:03:38remarry this week
01:03:39But
01:03:40you don't get the
01:03:41hundred billion dollar contract
01:03:43The choice is all yours
01:03:45That's a tough choice
01:03:47You think so?
01:03:48He either marries
01:03:49a royal heiress
01:03:50or gets a contract
01:03:51that takes his company
01:03:52to the moon
01:03:53Either way
01:03:54he benefits
01:03:55Why can't I have both?
01:03:56You really are
01:03:57a greedy bastard
01:03:58Angela
01:03:59I saved you
01:04:00in the pool
01:04:01Remember?
01:04:02I deserve the contract
01:04:03Did you really?
01:04:04Look who's
01:04:05fashionably late now
01:04:07He didn't save her
01:04:08at the pool
01:04:09Wait
01:04:10What are you talking about?
01:04:12I
01:04:13I choose the contract
01:04:15I knew it
01:04:16You'll get what's
01:04:17coming to you
01:04:19With this contract
01:04:20my company's
01:04:21earning potential
01:04:22is limitless
01:04:23Angela Lockhart
01:04:24you humiliated me
01:04:25in front of everyone
01:04:26I will get you
01:04:27one day
01:04:29Let me show you something
01:04:30You saved me
01:04:37You saved me
01:04:39I'm sorry
01:04:41If his lies
01:04:42led to you
01:04:43wasting three years
01:04:44of your life
01:04:46I will not
01:04:47forgive you
01:04:48I will not
01:04:49forgive you
01:04:51I will not
01:04:52forgive you
01:04:53I will not
01:04:54forgive you
01:04:55I will not
01:04:56You saved me
01:04:57You saved me
01:04:58I'm sorry
01:04:59But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:05No!
01:05:06No!
01:05:07I wasn't lying.
01:05:08I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:18Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:22What?
01:05:23Me?
01:05:24And Dr. Wilson, losing at saving people?
01:05:27No way.
01:05:28You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:05:33You're crazy.
01:05:34And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:40What?
01:05:41Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:45Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:49Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:53I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:55Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:57I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:06:00No, it's not your fault.
01:06:01They're just too slick.
01:06:02You'd like me to punish them for you?
01:06:03Oh God, no.
01:06:04Not that again.
01:06:05Please.
01:06:06Max, you know what to do.
01:06:07The
01:06:24banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:26All business ties have been severed.
01:06:28We're bankrupt.
01:06:29How did you do that?
01:06:36Who are you?
01:06:37And don't say Spider-Man.
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:45I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:49I am Crypto Punk Number Two.
01:06:53What did he say he was?
01:06:54That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:56You're Crypto Punk Number Two?
01:06:59Well, I'm Crypto Punk Number One.
01:07:02See?
01:07:03You are number one at something.
01:07:04The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:08Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:09It's all about young money now.
01:07:10So, how about our date?
01:07:11I'm not letting him one-up me on this one.
01:07:22I'll spy too.
01:07:36They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:39I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:07:42Yes!
01:07:43I'm rich!
01:07:45They'll make them all pay soon.
01:07:52What?
01:07:54Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:56The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:08:00Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:04No!
01:08:06I'm bankrupt.
01:08:08I need you to go to Lockhart.
01:08:10You tricked me!
01:08:17Oh, allow me.
01:08:19I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:23I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:29Well, cheers.
01:08:31Cheers.
01:08:41This looks good.
01:08:43Did you use my spices?
01:08:49I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:53You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:09:01I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:07Angela, your future with me is going to be different.
01:09:15Come on.
01:09:17Go upstairs.
01:09:20Okay.
01:09:37Wow.
01:09:39Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:09:44Just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:47Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:51Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:55That's right.
01:09:57I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:59How is all of this possible?
01:10:02I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:05Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:09I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:12You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:17Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:23Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:31All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:39Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:43I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:47Get away from me!
01:10:49Angela!
01:10:51Fancy girl. I like her.
01:11:03How is he?
01:11:05It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:09Astragal, saltif.
01:11:11Can he be cured?
01:11:13I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:15Okay, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:18Household salt.
01:11:26I like her.
01:11:29There you go.
01:11:31What time is it?
01:11:34Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:37I like her.
01:11:43I like her.
01:11:45We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:47So that's how I, well, we all met.
01:11:53I barely remember.
01:11:55I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:57Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:02You wouldn't have known.
01:12:04I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:06That makes you feel better.
01:12:08Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:10Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:13Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years,
01:12:17who will you pick?
01:12:23How could that be?
01:12:25Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:28Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:32Bankrupt?
01:12:34The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:12:37Well then, get out of here.
01:12:40You can't do this to me!
01:12:44Jared!
01:12:45Mom, it's me.
01:12:46What happened?
01:12:48Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:51Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:53You should get back with her.
01:12:55Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:57You should get back with your wife.
01:12:59We're bankrupt.
01:13:00What?
01:13:04Jared Cooper.
01:13:08We're here to propose to your long days.
01:13:11No one is going to save you now.
01:13:14Mom!
01:13:19What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:25Who will you pick?
01:13:29I...
01:13:35I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:36Fried chicken?
01:13:37Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:40Yeah, he's right.
01:13:41I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:43Sucking up last minute!
01:13:44At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:47Hey!
01:13:48Stop.
01:13:49Stop.
01:13:51Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:13:53I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:56I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:13:59You know what I mean.
01:14:01Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:14:04which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:08Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:12Cole, the general?
01:14:16Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:20Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:25Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:28But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:14:32made from glass imported from Venice
01:14:34and give it to our winner, Angela.
01:14:40Angela.
01:14:41Oh, I, uh...
01:14:45I need more time to think.
01:14:48Uh, while our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:14:52why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:14:55Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:58Let's start with Cole.
01:15:00Cole.
01:15:05There's not much to say.
01:15:07Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:15:09who has huge biceps,
01:15:11a massive chest,
01:15:13who would protect their...
01:15:16who would protect their wife?
01:15:20Okay, thank you.
01:15:22Uh, Shane?
01:15:26Muscles, money,
01:15:28they'll only get you so far.
01:15:30But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:15:32that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:15:35if you know what I mean.
01:15:39Okay, I think we do.
01:15:41And Devin?
01:15:43That was quite disgusting.
01:15:48I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:50I know she's going under a lot of stress right now,
01:15:53a lot of choices to make.
01:15:55And she's my queen.
01:15:57I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:59Now, one more thing.
01:16:01What kind of a doctor
01:16:03brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:05That's a good point.
01:16:07It's bad for her heart.
01:16:09And then you!
01:16:11Well, you know what they say
01:16:13about military men.
01:16:15They beat their wives.
01:16:21Enough!
01:16:23Stand up!
01:16:26Hey, you guys.
01:16:28Whoa, break it up!
01:16:30Hey, break it up!
01:16:37Cut to commercial!
01:16:41Cut to commercial!
01:16:57This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make
01:16:59in my entire life.
01:17:01Who do I choose?
01:17:11Angela's marrying me.
01:17:13You're not stealing her from me.
01:17:15Oh yeah?
01:17:17I may be a doctor,
01:17:19but like I said,
01:17:21I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:25What don't you have in that cup?
01:17:27Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:29I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:31I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:33Don't forget about me.
01:17:35It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:37These stupid profile cards
01:17:39don't make any sense.
01:17:41They do not help.
01:17:43Who made these?
01:18:03It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:07I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:11And I have the power of
01:18:13telekinesis!
01:18:29We may have to work together
01:18:31to take him down.
01:18:37This battle within our heads
01:18:39is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:41I may not be able to take them both down
01:18:43if they decide to team up.
01:18:45Hmm.
01:18:47Wintermute or Coolmute?
01:18:53You know,
01:18:55I've always really liked your hair.
01:18:57Really?
01:18:59I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:01So I appreciate that.
01:19:03And you know,
01:19:05Coolmute,
01:19:07I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:09Really?
01:19:11Yeah.
01:19:13What do you got for me?
01:19:15I always
01:19:17really like the way you chew gum.
01:19:19Yeah?
01:19:21It's fresh, right?
01:19:23Yeah, yeah.
01:19:25You know,
01:19:27you're a good liar.
01:19:29You know,
01:19:31you're actually a really good doctor.
01:19:33You need me to look at you?
01:19:35I got you.
01:19:37Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:39Angela's been kidnapped!
01:19:41It was Jerry Cooper!
01:19:43That fucker!
01:19:45We have to find her.
01:19:47Her ring.
01:19:49Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism
01:19:51on her ring just in case.
01:19:53Well, let's go then!
01:19:55My fiancée!
01:19:59Jared...
01:20:03What am I doing here?
01:20:05You destroyed me.
01:20:09They took everything.
01:20:11What?
01:20:13I have nothing left.
01:20:15It's not my fault you were too greedy.
01:20:17I was greedy?
01:20:19To have sex with my wife?
01:20:21What?
01:20:23I'm not your wife anymore!
01:20:25Oh yeah, I know.
01:20:28You wouldn't take me back now,
01:20:30not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:32This is illegal!
01:20:34You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:20:36You won't have me arrested.
01:20:38You will take me back.
01:20:40Ow!
01:20:42Come on, bitch.
01:20:44I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:54You will be begging me
01:20:56to fuck you soon.
01:20:58Hey!
01:21:00Angela!
01:21:02Come here!
01:21:04You're too late!
01:21:06I drugged her.
01:21:08She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:10Not yet?
01:21:12Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:14He really does have everything in his coat.
01:21:16Everything except for...
01:21:18Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:21:20We get it already.
01:21:22Just save my boss!
01:21:24You're all good now.
01:21:26Thank God.
01:21:28But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:30What?
01:21:32What are you going to do to me?
01:21:34Hey, stop!
01:21:38Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:44Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:46Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:54So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:56We've invited the most important figures of the world
01:21:58to your wedding.
01:22:00The Prince of Bhutan.
01:22:02And remember,
01:22:04we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:10Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:12The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:14We're down to the wire.
01:22:16Literally.
01:22:18The wedding day.
01:22:20But who's the groom?
01:22:22Yeah!
01:22:34Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:36The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:38But who's the groom?
01:22:44Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:46Any input from the parents?
01:22:48Maybe that will help sway
01:22:50our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:52This is exciting!
01:22:54Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:56Let me think.
01:23:02I like the doctor.
01:23:04He's cute.
01:23:06But the general
01:23:08looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:10And we can't forget about
01:23:12Devon Sterling, the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:14Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:16Angela.
01:23:20You are
01:23:22all three
01:23:24very fine
01:23:26gentlemen.
01:23:28And I'm really grateful
01:23:30for all of your love.
01:23:32But this was a
01:23:34really hard decision.
01:23:36And I decided
01:23:38to devise one last challenge.
01:23:40And
01:23:42I decided
01:23:44to devise one last challenge.
01:23:46I'm just kidding.
01:23:48I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:54Each of our candidates
01:23:56have saved our main character.
01:23:58I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:24:00They've all proven
01:24:02their undying love.
01:24:04So who gets to unlock
01:24:06Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:08Literally.
01:24:10Could it be
01:24:12the sexy and protective
01:24:14general with a temper
01:24:16Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:22Or
01:24:24the fun, wicked-minded
01:24:26but kind of weird
01:24:28Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:32And last but not least
01:24:34could it be
01:24:36the richest man of them all
01:24:38the man Angela would have married a long time ago
01:24:40Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:24:44Gentlemen
01:24:46it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:48As
01:24:50may the best man win.
01:24:52May the best man win.
01:24:54Drum roll please.
01:25:10Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:14I
01:25:18I choose
01:25:28I need a powerful, strong man
01:25:30and I really feel like he can protect me.
01:25:34Who could resist those guns?
01:25:38Would it interest you in an
01:25:40NFD, Ellen?
01:25:42Let's go.
01:25:56Shane, it's you.
01:25:58I'm lovesick for you.
01:26:00You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:04It's that tongue action
01:26:06ladies and gents.
01:26:08Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:10We could go together.
01:26:24It's always been you.
01:26:34I'll always love you.
01:26:37Let's give it up
01:26:39for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:43Would you like a full body checkup?
01:26:45Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:26:47I'd eat fruit flavored gum for you.