Through a series of extraordinary circumstances, an eccentric teenager believes he may be the alien prince of a distant planet, ready to lead his brethren home.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01:00You see, you have all this television today, and I really think this kid watched too much
00:01:18of it.
00:01:19Too much television.
00:01:20Now, when I was a kid growing up, we had something you probably never heard of, books.
00:01:28I bet the kid never read a book in his life.
00:01:31Just watched television all the time.
00:01:33Got all these funny little ideas in his head.
00:01:36Look what happened.
00:01:43If that boy stayed out of my life, I could die happy.
00:01:47A dork.
00:01:48Different.
00:01:49Ryan's my best friend.
00:01:53You know, I don't think he's a bad kid or anything like that.
00:01:57I just think he probably wants to impress some chicks.
00:01:59You know, it all comes down to one thing, baby.
00:02:02Whenever I go to a dance, you'll never see me taking a chance.
00:02:07Hey, I get a kick, cause the chicks I pick are slender, tender, and tall.
00:02:13You know what I'm saying, baby?
00:02:14Good night, everybody.
00:02:18A real nut.
00:02:19He probably ate too many sweets.
00:02:22Captain Crunch.
00:02:23Fruit Loops.
00:02:24M&M.
00:02:25Hershey Bars.
00:02:29Ice Cream.
00:02:30Cookies.
00:02:31Hostess Ho-Hos.
00:02:32Cotton Candy.
00:02:33Cracker Jacks.
00:02:34After Dinner Mints.
00:02:38I realize that the two of us make sort of an odd pair.
00:02:41Ryan's more of a dreamer, an introvert, and I'm more into the beautiful people scene.
00:02:46Fast cars.
00:02:47Fast women.
00:02:52Ryan Richmond.
00:02:54Total Penis.
00:02:59See, Ryan's ambitions are to get out of Sunnydale, maybe go to school in some foreign land.
00:03:04My ambitions are more practical.
00:03:06I'm gonna go to Hollywood, do some modeling, and then buy a professional football team.
00:03:14Sugar Rats.
00:03:18I used to eat a lot of sugar.
00:03:21I used to eat a lot of sugar.
00:03:34Ryan?
00:03:38Ryan is...
00:03:46The devil.
00:03:47My mother overreacts.
00:03:51He's a fine, and he's a...
00:04:03Ryan's always been different than our other children.
00:04:06He has a vivid imagination.
00:04:08Well, you know, I think Ryan is a little awkward with people.
00:04:11Hell, a lot of people are like that at that age.
00:04:14Hell, I've even had people say I'm a little off-kilter.
00:04:17You see, Ryan's not really my brother.
00:04:21Really?
00:04:22Did somebody tell you that he was?
00:04:24Let's face it, my brother's strange.
00:04:27Not the kind of kid you count on to make a good impression on an ex-vice president and his wife.
00:04:32So when Jenny's dad suggested holding our wedding in my father's hotel to avoid publicity,
00:04:36my mother insisted they stay at our home.
00:04:38I knew that Ryan would pull something weird,
00:04:41but how could I have known the night my in-laws arrived
00:04:43that the next few days would turn out to be so bizarre
00:04:46that my wife and I are now entering therapy in an effort to forget?
00:04:51Here's me about ten years ago.
00:04:53Aw, how sweet.
00:04:54And the rest of the family.
00:04:58We had just moved to Sunnydale, Arizona, prune capital of the world.
00:05:03Where Dad just bought the local Holiday Inn.
00:05:06That's the very one you're sitting in right now.
00:05:11This is me the night I was sleepwalking on the roof.
00:05:13The entire Sunnydale Fire Department showed up at 3 a.m.
00:05:18It was humiliating.
00:05:20This is me age eight, the first time I was struck by lightning.
00:05:26This is the Halloween of 1976 I went as an advert.
00:05:32Jeff began his career as Sunnydale's greatest athlete.
00:05:37Marilyn blossomed into a figure of stunning beauty.
00:05:40Shut up!
00:05:43Last month, lightning strikes twice.
00:05:46They thought that it might have had something to do
00:05:48with the extra vertebrae in my back,
00:05:50which provides an electromagnetic attraction.
00:05:52Well, that's rather strange.
00:05:55Ryan's rather strange, Mrs. Camaglia.
00:06:00Oops.
00:06:02I'm moving right along.
00:06:05And so, my lovely new in-laws, welcome to Sunnydale.
00:06:09Ryan Richmond at your service.
00:06:16Well, thank you, Ryan. That was a fine slideshow.
00:06:19I feel I know your family that much better.
00:06:21Yeah, except most of the pictures were of him.
00:06:24Well, as the family historian, I would like to assure you
00:06:27that there are no skeletons in our closets.
00:06:29That's enough, Ryan.
00:06:30Hey, I'll bet you wonder what makes this thing spin so good.
00:06:33Well, I guess I do.
00:06:35Come on, Dick, let me show you how it works.
00:06:39I'll let you in on a little secret.
00:06:41This is not your ordinary Holiday Inn.
00:06:44Oh?
00:06:45It was constructed by a guy named Franz Schleissenschleimer.
00:06:49And right before he died, he invented this.
00:07:02Like to take a little spin?
00:07:04Why not?
00:07:15Look at that view.
00:07:17Oh, no, I can't look. It makes me dizzy, dear.
00:07:20I don't blame you.
00:07:22This isn't my kind of place, either.
00:07:24I think I need another Dramamine.
00:07:26Mrs. Camaglia, I barely survived growing up here,
00:07:29and now they want me to go major in hotel management at Sunnydale State.
00:07:33But I want to go to college as far away from here as possible.
00:07:37Virginia. May I call you Virginia?
00:07:39No.
00:07:40I can't.
00:07:41May I call you Virginia?
00:07:42No.
00:07:43I can't take much more of this place.
00:07:45People trim their hedges to look like squirrels.
00:07:48Oh, how lovely.
00:07:49You even got a supercharger.
00:07:55Since we're almost related, I thought maybe you could pull a few strings.
00:08:00A job on the Hill in Washington?
00:08:02If I wanted to, we could hit a top speed of a thousand R.P.H.
00:08:07R.P.H.?
00:08:08That's revolutions per hour.
00:08:10That's amazing.
00:08:11I know.
00:08:13Fastest restaurant in the country.
00:08:15I could take daughters of visiting dignitaries out to dinner.
00:08:17I look great in black tie.
00:08:19What's going on here?
00:08:20Someone stop this thing.
00:08:22Don't worry.
00:08:23It's just Dad pulling around with the controls.
00:08:24I think I'm going to be sick.
00:08:27Fred?
00:08:34What the hell?
00:08:37Big deal.
00:08:38Don't stop again.
00:08:42Excuse me a moment.
00:08:44Lousy stinking machine.
00:08:46Fucking goddamn dime store.
00:08:48God.
00:08:49Shit.
00:08:52All right, folks.
00:08:53Right down the hall.
00:08:54There he is.
00:08:57Watch out.
00:08:58Hey.
00:08:59Pull, pull, pull.
00:09:00Fred, do you mind?
00:09:02You ride that bike through this lobby one more time,
00:09:05I'll not only fire you, I'll have you thrown in jail.
00:09:08Look, Fred, I am giving you Vegas glitz for about what you pay your dishwashers.
00:09:13So consider yourself a lucky man and get out of my way.
00:09:16She's got a point, Dad.
00:09:18Lounge business has been up.
00:09:20And keep that horny little bastard away from me.
00:09:30She really is a very talented young person.
00:09:34B-52.
00:09:35B-52.
00:09:36Bingo.
00:09:50Here we are.
00:09:52Welcome to our home.
00:09:54You look beautiful.
00:09:57I'll open up.
00:09:58You boys get the luggage.
00:10:00Look.
00:10:01In five nights, the moon will be full again for the second time this month.
00:10:05Blue moon.
00:10:06What?
00:10:08Oh, it's again a new tradition that the gods of fertility, venison and wisdom
00:10:13will be showered upon the couple who marries on a blue moon.
00:10:16That's how we picked our date.
00:10:18Fascinating.
00:10:20Sounds like something Ryan would say.
00:10:22Mother, it's nothing like Ryan would say.
00:10:25I don't usually do this, Mr. Kamaki.
00:10:28I don't usually do this, Mr. Kamaki.
00:10:30Ever since they discovered that I was a vertebrate, I don't lift heavy objects.
00:10:35That's why the Peace Corps didn't take me.
00:10:37But I was hoping you might have some pull, sir.
00:10:41I think they could really use me in the south of France.
00:10:45We don't run the Peace Corps in the south of France.
00:10:48Uh, Tahiti?
00:10:49Oh, give me my cherry.
00:10:52Sure, Mrs. Kamali.
00:10:55Stay here.
00:11:01Oh, dear, sweet baby.
00:11:05Oh, he's so cold.
00:11:10What is she on?
00:11:24Ryan, I want you to be on your best behavior this week.
00:11:28My wedding is the most important thing to ever happen to this town.
00:11:31And Dad's business, our family and me.
00:11:34And you're going to be in sad shape if I catch you messing it up.
00:11:37I used to have hopes for you, man.
00:11:39Hopes that you'd develop into a decent dude.
00:11:41Ivy League, like me.
00:11:43I'm really sorry, Jeff.
00:11:45My dude-ness level is very low.
00:11:47I'm going to have to go.
00:11:49Ivy League, like me.
00:11:51I'm really sorry, Jeff.
00:11:52My dude-ness level is very low.
00:11:54It's squat.
00:11:56Please, for the next five days, just keep yourself and your weird plants,
00:11:59pets, friends and contraptions away from my in-laws.
00:12:03Jeff, watch out!
00:12:05God damn it!
00:12:11Well, I don't like it.
00:12:13Our only daughter marrying a nobody.
00:12:18A reception to which I'm too embarrassed to invite my own family.
00:12:22Stangin' is godforsaken dumb!
00:12:26Well, I'll tell you this much.
00:12:28Ronnie wouldn't do it.
00:12:30And Nancy certainly wouldn't do it.
00:12:32They'd just jet in on Air Force One for the day of the wedding.
00:12:37He's the president, dear. I'm not.
00:12:40You're telling me.
00:12:42You lost an election.
00:12:44Jenny doesn't have to be a loser for life.
00:12:47Dear, will you please go to sleep?
00:12:50Just for a couple of nights.
00:12:52That's what Jenny wants. Okay?
00:12:54You think everyone's finally out of the bathroom?
00:13:15Ah.
00:13:30Excuse me, but I'm in here.
00:13:33What are you doing?
00:13:36Ah!
00:13:39You better get up. I am not going to be late for school.
00:13:43I'm gonna strangle that bird.
00:13:46I don't care.
00:13:48All I care is I'm gonna be late for work.
00:13:53What will you do?
00:13:55What will I do?
00:13:58What are you doing?
00:14:00I think we better get out of here.
00:14:03Come on, I said get out of here.
00:14:06I don't care if your head technician is in Hawaii, get him back.
00:14:19My son is marrying Jenny Kalawyer on Saturday, and I want that restaurant spinning.
00:14:25Any prospects for a date yet, Ryan?
00:14:26I mean, after all, we're finalizing the seating plans.
00:14:28You mean he doesn't have a date yet?
00:14:30Oh, come on, Guy, get with it.
00:14:31You can't be best man without a date.
00:14:34How about one of your friends, honey?
00:14:37Mother, my friends are cheerleaders.
00:14:46Don't forget your B-52s.
00:14:47Sorry, it's the tetrasodium pyrophosphate.
00:14:52Most people enjoy it.
00:14:56Have a nice day, dears.
00:14:59All right, you can just drop me off right up here.
00:15:16So maybe someday we can make it all the way to the parking lot together?
00:15:20I don't think so.
00:15:21And don't talk to me in school today, all right?
00:15:23I've got cheerleading tryouts, I don't want anything to mess it up.
00:15:27Hey, I never saw you before in my life.
00:15:29You guys don't happen to have dates for the prune dance, do you?
00:15:39Because I know you've been wondering if I do.
00:15:41Hold on one second, I'll be right back.
00:15:44Ryan!
00:15:45I've got the answer to all your prayers.
00:15:47A girl in this town will finally understand you.
00:15:49What are you talking about?
00:15:50Come on.
00:15:51Come on.
00:15:52She's the perfect date for your brother's wedding.
00:15:55She's shapely, sophisticated, and antiseptic.
00:15:58Forget it.
00:15:59Look, I know you think you've exhausted all your options,
00:16:02but the madman Dan does not give up easy.
00:16:07The bloodmobile nurse?
00:16:08Her name is Roberta, and she's awesome.
00:16:10I'm telling you, man, you get nowhere if you don't take chances.
00:16:14Ryan, for guys like us, the odds are nine out of ten.
00:16:18Expect nine rejections, nine insults to your ego for every one date.
00:16:23But you've got to try.
00:16:24Sherry, how about a date Saturday night?
00:16:26Get lost.
00:16:28See?
00:16:29Only eight more to go.
00:16:46Is Roberta here?
00:16:48Roberta's at Hot Springs JC this week.
00:16:51Please, lie back.
00:16:54I think I've changed my mind.
00:16:56Do that.
00:17:02We use the symbol X to represent the absolute value of the number.
00:17:09In every pair of opposite numbers, other than zero and zero,
00:17:13the positive number is always the greater.
00:17:16On a real number line, the positive number is always to the right of the negative number.
00:17:20Time to put my backup strategy into action.
00:17:23I just gave a toothpie donation to the Red Cross nurse from hell.
00:17:27And my blood type is so rare, she wants me to come back next week.
00:17:31Forget it.
00:17:34I wish I were you.
00:17:35I mean, your brother's marrying the daughter of a guy who ran for president.
00:17:38That makes you kind of famous, sort of.
00:17:45Maybe you're right.
00:17:46You are looking at more potential pleasure in the next few days
00:17:49than you've seen in the past 17 years.
00:17:52But fame is fleeting.
00:17:54So you've got to strike while the iron's hot.
00:18:03You going to state next year, Bruckner?
00:18:05Yeah.
00:18:06What about it?
00:18:12Four more years of terror and humiliation.
00:18:15Maybe I'll get a degree in suffering.
00:18:17Ryle?
00:18:18Richmond.
00:18:19Do all the exercises from A21 to B52.
00:18:32Hey, Donna.
00:18:33Donna, you've got my pen.
00:18:35Donna, wait up.
00:18:36Donna, wait.
00:18:41Did your dad hire a new cocktail waitress or what?
00:18:43I don't know.
00:18:44I don't know.
00:18:45I don't know.
00:18:46I don't know.
00:18:47Did your dad hire a new cocktail waitress or a maid?
00:18:49No.
00:18:51Well, is she somebody's mother?
00:18:53Are you like having this illicit affair with someone's mom?
00:18:56Man, like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate.
00:18:58That would totally blow me away.
00:18:59No.
00:19:01Ladies and gentlemen, the Revolving Rotunda Room proudly presents...
00:19:05Here she comes.
00:19:06Miss Lisa Winston.
00:19:09Spring was never waiting for us, boy
00:19:12We ran one step ahead as we followed in the dance
00:19:17Dance
00:19:19Between the parted pages we were pressed
00:19:22In love's hard-fevered iron
00:19:24Like a striped pair of pants
00:19:27That's her.
00:19:28No way.
00:19:29Yeah.
00:19:30Not Lisa Winston, man.
00:19:31Yes.
00:19:32She's a hooker.
00:19:33Oh, come on.
00:19:34You can't prove that.
00:19:35It's common knowledge.
00:19:37I think she's hot.
00:19:38Yeah.
00:19:39You and about a hundred other guys.
00:19:41Because it took so long to bake it
00:19:43And I'll never have that recipe again
00:19:47Oh, no
00:19:50Okay, Ryan, just be yourself
00:19:52Because that is who you are.
00:19:55All right?
00:19:56Stay cool
00:19:57Because women smell fear like cats.
00:20:00Go get her.
00:20:09Yeah?
00:20:11I've got to be honest here.
00:20:13I followed your career for months
00:20:14And I think you are great.
00:20:16I feel a connection to you,
00:20:17Something really weird.
00:20:18I know it sounds strange
00:20:19But I feel like we're soulmates.
00:20:21What do you think of that?
00:20:24I think you remind me of the beaver.
00:20:29Well, I thought maybe we could go out sometime
00:20:32Like Saturday?
00:20:33My brother's wedding.
00:20:34Are you free?
00:20:35Sorry, kid.
00:20:36I'm not free
00:20:37And I don't do weddings.
00:20:40All this sounds like an idea of your father's
00:20:42To get me to work for nothing.
00:20:44Are you passing up an invitation
00:20:45To the social event of the season?
00:20:47In this town,
00:20:48I am the social event of the season.
00:20:58Okay, richmond.
00:21:00Desperate times
00:21:01Call for desperate measures.
00:21:03Welcome to computate.
00:21:05Biggest computating service in the world.
00:21:09Are you male or female?
00:21:10Male.
00:21:14Age, 17.
00:21:16Address?
00:21:19Earth.
00:21:218-5-3-7-7.
00:21:25You sound like a very eligible young man.
00:21:27I'm not.
00:21:28I'm not.
00:21:298-5-3-7-7.
00:21:32You sound like a very eligible young man.
00:21:34Terrific.
00:21:39My favorite hobby?
00:21:40Define gravity.
00:21:46My favorite group?
00:21:53Oh, no.
00:21:55What is my most unusual trait?
00:21:56Extravertebrae.
00:21:59Do you sometimes feel like
00:22:00The only sane person
00:22:01In a world full of idiots?
00:22:02Yes.
00:22:05Have people ever called you
00:22:06Any of the following names?
00:22:07Nerd?
00:22:08Creep?
00:22:09Freak?
00:22:10Asshole?
00:22:11Weirdo?
00:22:12Bonehead?
00:22:14Yes.
00:22:17Do you make strange,
00:22:18Often annoying sounds?
00:22:20Yes.
00:22:22Do you shy away from artificial
00:22:23Additives, stabilizers,
00:22:24And sweeteners?
00:22:26Yes.
00:22:27Do you communicate
00:22:28With animals?
00:22:34Yeah.
00:22:36Do members of your family
00:22:37Ever ask how could you
00:22:38Be one of them?
00:22:39Every day.
00:22:43Can you breathe
00:22:44Foreign substances?
00:22:46I don't know.
00:22:51Do you have a
00:22:52Favorite animal?
00:22:54Yes.
00:22:55Can you slow down
00:22:56Your bodily functions?
00:22:57I don't know.
00:23:01Do you sleepwalk?
00:23:03Sometimes.
00:23:06Have you ever been
00:23:07Struck by lightning?
00:23:10Yes.
00:23:13What is your blood type?
00:23:18Do you feel the compulsion
00:23:19To go somewhere,
00:23:20Anywhere far, far away?
00:23:21Yes.
00:23:25Greetings.
00:23:55Come on, Bulldog.
00:24:02What have we here?
00:24:03More toys?
00:24:05Those are Martians.
00:24:06Santa Claus,
00:24:07You're coming with us.
00:24:08No.
00:24:09You can't take him now.
00:24:10It's too near Christmas.
00:24:11Quiet, you.
00:24:12But...
00:24:14We don't want to hurt you,
00:24:15Santa Claus,
00:24:16So come along quietly.
00:24:17Let's go, old man.
00:24:25And Mrs. Santa Claus has
00:24:26This American Flight 812
00:24:27Requesting...
00:24:33Trouble?
00:24:34Take a look for yourself.
00:24:36Did you hear anything?
00:24:37Whatever it is,
00:24:38It's gone now.
00:24:39That's the best thing
00:24:40For us, too.
00:24:41Gone.
00:24:42Yeah, let's go.
00:24:43Out of this world.
00:24:44That's nothing
00:24:45From this world.
00:24:46Tower to Flight 812,
00:24:47Are you in trouble?
00:24:48Richmond,
00:24:49Get a hold of yourself.
00:24:50Mayday, mayday.
00:24:52Mayday, mayday.
00:25:17Oh, my God,
00:25:18They're talking to me.
00:25:19Hey, space creature!
00:25:22Would you get up?
00:25:23We're gonna be late for school.
00:25:24Whoa, look at that.
00:25:25We're going to be late.
00:25:26You know,
00:25:27I'm used to riding the bus
00:25:28And I'm used to making a living
00:25:29On the road,
00:25:30When I'm here in the countryside.
00:25:31I'm lucky today.
00:25:32You know,
00:25:33This is gonna be a little
00:25:34Boring,
00:25:35It's going to be a little
00:25:36Unprepared and stuff.
00:25:37Mother's not coming?
00:25:38No,
00:25:39We're about to go.
00:25:40Mother's home.
00:25:41I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:42I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:43I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:44Mother?
00:25:45Mother's home.
00:25:46I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:47Mother's home.
00:25:48I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:49Mother's home.
00:25:50I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:51I'm gonna miss her.
00:25:52Maybe you could come over Saturday night and we could rent some gnarled film like I spit
00:25:58on your grave.
00:25:59I've seen it.
00:26:00How about I dismember Mama?
00:26:01Dan?
00:26:02Not now.
00:26:03I gotta go.
00:26:04Now, Dan.
00:26:05Sure.
00:26:06I'll see you in history.
00:26:07Dan, I really gotta talk to you.
00:26:09You're bummed out about last night.
00:26:11I understand.
00:26:12It happens.
00:26:13It's not about a date.
00:26:14It's much more serious.
00:26:15My life changed last night.
00:26:17Something unbelievable happened.
00:26:21You got laid!
00:26:22Oh my God!
00:26:36Ryan, there are no such things as aliens, okay?
00:26:39That's fiction, man.
00:26:40I'm trying.
00:26:41These people are just a bunch of weirdos.
00:26:44Yeah?
00:26:45What if they aren't?
00:26:46I seem to fit almost every one of their criteria.
00:26:50Don't worry, Dan.
00:26:51You are freaking yourself out over nothing.
00:26:53You were born on Earth, okay?
00:26:55Your father stuck it to your mother, right?
00:26:58What'll it be, boys?
00:27:02Green Coke.
00:27:03Sam.
00:27:06I don't know.
00:27:09I'm nothing like my family.
00:27:10They're a part of this town.
00:27:12They fit.
00:27:13I don't.
00:27:14And now I know why.
00:27:16Ryan, this sounds like a chemical substance talking.
00:27:19What if I'm a lizard underneath the skin?
00:27:22What if I'm an intergalactic spy who's finally been contacted
00:27:25to fulfill his mission of destruction?
00:27:27Are you nuts?
00:27:28I skipped English to listen to this?
00:27:31Huh.
00:27:32There were also some other questions I didn't answer.
00:27:35Yeah, like what?
00:27:36Can you breathe foreign substances?
00:27:38Can you slow down your bodily functions?
00:27:40I guess that's for long space voyages.
00:27:43All right, Ryan.
00:27:44Who put you up to this?
00:27:45Was it Cindy Lipman?
00:27:47She's pissed at me
00:27:48because I wouldn't give her my history notes, okay?
00:27:50Well, let her come to class once in a while.
00:27:52No one put me up to this.
00:27:54I'm telling you the truth.
00:27:57Then you are on drugs.
00:28:00Jesus.
00:28:02Wait.
00:28:03Wait.
00:28:04I can prove it.
00:28:05Come here.
00:28:06Hi.
00:28:09Hi.
00:28:10Uh, can I try some hits off the helium tank?
00:28:12I beg your pardon?
00:28:13I'd like to buy some helium.
00:28:14We only sell it in balloons.
00:28:16Okay, fine.
00:28:17I'll take two big ones.
00:28:20Just like that, thanks.
00:28:23Mine, too.
00:28:30Testing, testing.
00:28:32Testing.
00:28:33Wait a second, wait a second.
00:28:38Testing.
00:28:39One, two, three.
00:28:41Oh, my God, I breathe helium.
00:28:46Holy shit.
00:28:53You got a quarter?
00:28:55I'm funding the crazies.
00:28:59You know, Ryan, it's funny.
00:29:01Of the three stupidest things I've ever done in my entire life,
00:29:05they've all been with you.
00:29:07Quiet.
00:29:08I've got to concentrate, Dan.
00:29:09Okay, we're going to say this
00:29:11right before the minister asks us to repeat our vows.
00:29:13Ready?
00:29:14Ready.
00:29:17You are my heart, my soul, my everything.
00:29:23With you, I'm greater than the sum of all of my parts,
00:29:27bigger than life, complete.
00:29:39I did it, didn't I?
00:29:43To you, I pledge my utter devotion,
00:29:47my sacred trust.
00:29:51I'll get it.
00:29:52Okay.
00:29:54All my love.
00:29:58What do you think?
00:29:59She loves you.
00:30:00Aah!
00:30:01Aah!
00:30:07Ryan Richmond.
00:30:09Huh?
00:30:10From Alfez, University of Kuwait.
00:30:13Oh, God, look, I've had a really rough day.
00:30:17I have a lot to think over.
00:30:19Four years with us, and you will have an education
00:30:21you will never forget.
00:30:23I spit on the Ivy League.
00:30:25Is that what you're going to do?
00:30:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:30:31no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:30:33no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:30:35no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:30:36no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:37Is that a full scholarship?
00:30:39Nuff with these SAT scores.
00:30:41No!
00:30:47Aah!
00:30:48God damn it, Ryan!
00:30:51You're supposed to knock.
00:30:53I have invited Susie Hellman, Rick's younger sister,
00:30:57over for dinner this evening.
00:30:59She's a year older than you, but has agreed to meet you
00:31:01and possibly pretend to be your date for the wedding.
00:31:03Your behavior this evening will determine exactly how much I have to pay her for that privilege.
00:31:08Do I make myself clear?
00:31:11Jeff, do you believe extraterrestrials walk in our midst?
00:31:16Wow, what a day.
00:31:20You know, I've got these specialists from Japan working all night in the restaurant.
00:31:24They still can't get it going.
00:31:26You know, you look really familiar.
00:31:28I'm sure we had a class together last year.
00:31:30Did you take French with Mrs. Baumann?
00:31:32I don't remember.
00:31:33Ryan, could you pass the peas?
00:31:35You know something, Ryan?
00:31:37I'm about ready to try that idea of yours with the tractor.
00:31:40What that?
00:31:41Ryan, could you pass the peas?
00:31:43Hey, space out.
00:31:44Pass Jenny the peas?
00:31:45Anything wrong, dear?
00:31:47Mom, please say he's adopted.
00:31:51What? What are you talking about?
00:31:53What do you mean I'm adopted?
00:31:54Relax, guy.
00:31:56Now I remember.
00:31:57You used to make that strange and annoying noise with your tonsils.
00:32:01Ryan always did have this odd talent for making funny noises.
00:32:05I have no idea where he got it.
00:32:08Mom, is this artificially flavored, chemically stabilized lemon drink mix sweetened with aspartame?
00:32:15I don't know, dear.
00:32:16It's springtime.
00:32:22Excuse me, I'll get it.
00:32:28Yes?
00:32:30Does Ryan Richmond live here?
00:32:32Oh, yes. Come on in.
00:32:37Let me guess.
00:32:42You're from a California school.
00:32:44Excuse me?
00:32:45Ah, don't tell me. UCLA. No, no.
00:32:49Berkeley.
00:32:50Berkeley, yes.
00:32:52Well, we're right in the middle of dinner now, but, oh, why don't you join us?
00:32:56I'm sure you've had a long trip.
00:32:58Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
00:32:59Come right this way.
00:33:04I love your hair. It's just wild.
00:33:07I wish I had the nerve.
00:33:08Two more guests.
00:33:09Ryan, this is...
00:33:10I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
00:33:12Charles and Edna Pinsky.
00:33:14Right. Here to see you from Berkeley.
00:33:17Berkeley?
00:33:18I didn't apply to Berkeley.
00:33:21Two more place settings.
00:33:27How is Berkeley these days?
00:33:29I remember once I spoke there in the late 60s.
00:33:33Such a hotbed of political activity.
00:33:35Yes, well, we're much more concerned with...
00:33:38Vibrations.
00:33:40Vibrations.
00:33:41Yeah, you know, vibrations as they relate to...
00:33:43Past life frequencies.
00:33:46Cross planula, cellular, transmutation,
00:33:50transfiguration and transmutation.
00:33:53Intradimensional sexual reproduction.
00:33:58My, how advanced.
00:34:01Oh, well, thank you.
00:34:08Ow!
00:34:11Ryan!
00:34:12What's wrong?
00:34:13I don't know.
00:34:16But I have my suspicions.
00:34:18Well, why isn't everybody eating?
00:34:20Come on, pass, pass, pass.
00:34:22And there's lots more in the kitchen.
00:34:32Oh, thank you.
00:34:42So, does anybody in the family have diabetes?
00:34:48Diabetes?
00:34:49No, I don't think.
00:34:54Back, Alexandra.
00:34:59That's a really very interesting hairdo you have there, young lady.
00:35:02I'll get that, babe.
00:35:09There.
00:35:10Now she can't get out even if she wanted to.
00:35:19You guys found out about my blood type, didn't you?
00:35:21Yes.
00:35:22I don't believe the Red Cross gives out that kind of information.
00:35:24What are you guys, some kind of black market blood dealers or something?
00:35:27Please.
00:35:28Look, I have a lot of problems, things you wouldn't understand.
00:35:31And I don't need people coming over to my house under false pretenses,
00:35:34jabbing me during dinner and stealing my blood.
00:35:36If what we suspect is true, Ryan, you won't have to worry about college next year.
00:35:42I don't get it.
00:35:43What are you guys, talking about some kind of scholarship?
00:35:46Well, thanks again.
00:35:48Tell your mother thanks for a wonderful dinner.
00:35:50Peas, carrots, ham.
00:35:52I appreciate it.
00:35:54We'll stay in touch.
00:35:55Sure.
00:35:56Take care.
00:35:57Bye-bye.
00:36:00They're talking about some kind of scholarship.
00:36:04I see you really have to screw up my wedding.
00:36:06I fix you up with a date and you belch in her face and hit her in the mouth.
00:36:09I say no more weirdos and you invite the two weirdest people in America over for dinner.
00:36:14I didn't invite them.
00:36:15Jeff, what are you doing?
00:36:16He's killing me.
00:36:17I'm getting a new best man.
00:36:19What is it with you two boys, honestly?
00:36:28I think Jeff's a wife beater.
00:36:32Don't be silly.
00:36:35Think about your career, Richard.
00:36:37These people could be an embarrassment to you.
00:36:45Oh, I don't care what's going on.
00:36:48No wonder you lost with the biggest landslide in history.
00:36:54Oh, my God, somebody's trying to break in.
00:37:03Oh, my...
00:37:08I got it, babe.
00:37:09Okay.
00:37:12Oh, my God.
00:37:14Someone's trying to kidnap Ryan.
00:37:18Virginia, get back into bed.
00:37:24You're right.
00:37:27It's none of my business.
00:37:30None of my business.
00:37:52Well, so far we got the best responses from Voyager pictures of Jupiter
00:37:56and a clip from the Jetsons.
00:37:58Promising.
00:37:59But look what happens when we cut to some pictures of Sunnydale.
00:38:07Get me out of here.
00:38:12Get me out of here.
00:38:14Excellent.
00:38:20That's affirmative on the blood type.
00:38:25Thank you, God.
00:38:27I think we found her later.
00:38:46Ow!
00:38:49What's going on here?
00:38:51How much blood did you take?
00:38:52We're not after your blood, Ryan.
00:38:54We're extraterrestrials like you.
00:38:57Oh, and I suppose this is your spaceship?
00:39:01Our spaceship?
00:39:03What an imagination.
00:39:06Watch.
00:39:11Welcome, extraterrestrial.
00:39:13Has anyone ever called you normal, average, regular guy?
00:39:17What about Warped, Brainiac, or Cretan from another world?
00:39:21You are not alone.
00:39:23Thousands of years ago, extraterrestrials landed on Earth.
00:39:27We feel that these ancient astronauts mated with Earth people.
00:39:33In doing so, they left their alien genetic codes scattered
00:39:37like pieces of an interplanetary jigsaw puzzle through time and space.
00:39:43Holy shit.
00:39:45Only a handful of extraterrestrials are born every generation
00:39:50from perfectly normal parents who just happen to be carrying
00:39:54the pieces of this interplanetary jigsaw puzzle in their DNA.
00:40:00This is ridiculous.
00:40:02It's not just idle speculation.
00:40:04We have proof.
00:40:06Literature that goes back hundreds of years.
00:40:09But most importantly, we have cave drawings.
00:40:13We discovered this cave in southern Ohio.
00:40:16Combined with handwritten material that's been passed along for centuries,
00:40:21this is our key to returning home.
00:40:24This, we feel, is a hotel with a revolving restaurant.
00:40:28These two moons represent a date.
00:40:31Blue moon, the rare occurrence of two full moons in a given month.
00:40:38Extraterrestrials, flying saucers are in our midst.
00:40:42Be on the lookout for the secret spaceship around you.
00:40:48When we discovered you, the only person to get a perfect score on our questionnaire.
00:40:52With a father who actually owned a hotel with a revolving restaurant?
00:40:56And this Saturday, a blue moon?
00:40:59Jackpot!
00:41:03Jenny. Jenny, wake up.
00:41:07Shh.
00:41:09You're not marrying into this family.
00:41:13Mother, what are you doing? What is wrong with you?
00:41:15These people are all wrapped up in something very bizarre.
00:41:21Very twisted.
00:41:23And that young man, Ryan, is the ringleader.
00:41:27Mother, what are you talking about?
00:41:29Does Rosemary's baby mean anything to you?
00:41:36Mother, Ryan is perfectly normal.
00:41:39We are the generation destined to return home.
00:41:43You are our navigator.
00:41:46The last remaining member of our lost tribe.
00:41:55I am a member of this pack of aliens.
00:41:58Desperately living on Earth.
00:42:00Beating the odds for survival.
00:42:02Never truly accepted, but always searching.
00:42:05Searching. Searching for their planet.
00:42:08Exactly.
00:42:10You are the leader of our tribe.
00:42:13Chairman of the board.
00:42:16I can get into that.
00:42:19It's time you looked at your hotel through new eyes, Ryan.
00:42:33You are all I long for.
00:42:37All I worship and adore.
00:42:40She's sexy.
00:42:42In other words...
00:42:45Believe me, I'll find you someone much more interesting to breed with.
00:42:49Who?
00:42:51Hasn't exploded yet.
00:42:53What?
00:42:55The DNA packet in your briefcase.
00:42:57A person usually suspects he's an extraterrestrial
00:43:00when the DNA packet in his brain explodes,
00:43:04releasing the information.
00:43:06It's like virginity, but different, kind of.
00:43:13As our navigator, when your DNA explodes,
00:43:16it should reveal which planet you're on.
00:43:19I'm on Mars.
00:43:21I'm on Mars.
00:43:23As our navigator, when your DNA explodes,
00:43:26it should reveal which planet we're from,
00:43:28but it must burst before Saturday night.
00:43:31How do I do it?
00:43:33It requires one intense, traumatic experience.
00:43:39My life has been one intense, traumatic experience.
00:43:42Oh?
00:43:44In other words...
00:43:47I love you.
00:43:54Hey, Ryan!
00:43:56Who were those people you were with?
00:43:58Oh, forget it. You wouldn't understand.
00:44:00The only thing I don't understand is what you were doing with them.
00:44:03They looked just like the B-52s.
00:44:05No.
00:44:06No one looking like that passes through Sunnydale without a reason.
00:44:09You're right.
00:44:10I have been playing in your father's hotel for months,
00:44:13and those are the first real people I've ever seen.
00:44:16Really?
00:44:17I mean, who with any sense of style would actually live here?
00:44:20I don't mean to be crude,
00:44:22but this town has raised the act of taking a shit to an art form.
00:44:25Come on. I'll buy you a drink.
00:44:27Joke, right?
00:44:29No joke.
00:44:31But just a drink.
00:44:33This is right out of a cologne commercial.
00:44:36A toast to the newest members of the intergalactic community.
00:44:41To higher vibratory rates.
00:44:44But what if his DNA packet doesn't explode within the next 24 hours?
00:44:49I mean, I didn't give up my nail shop to end up in this dried-up town.
00:44:53Don't worry. Under control.
00:45:07You must have a great social life.
00:45:09There's no one to play with, so I don't waste my time.
00:45:15Tequila?
00:45:18So what are you doing after you graduate?
00:45:21Um...
00:45:23I plan to blow out of here in a very big way.
00:45:26Yeah? That's exactly what I did out of high school.
00:45:30I said ciao to those assholes.
00:45:33I was too much for them to handle anyway.
00:45:36Really?
00:45:38Where I come from, mascara is considered radical.
00:45:41So you can imagine what spikes and glitter did for my image.
00:45:44That sounds like here.
00:45:46Worse.
00:45:48My town didn't have Lisa Winston appearing nightly live at the Holiday Inn.
00:45:52Such a source of excitement.
00:45:54Well, a lot of people think so.
00:45:56A lot of people think I'm more exciting than I am.
00:45:59I never heard anything.
00:46:01Every small town needs a rumor.
00:46:04I encourage it.
00:46:06Makes more people come to see my act.
00:46:09Well, I think it's terrific.
00:46:11You can get a little frustrating sometimes.
00:46:14There's no one that I can really connect to.
00:46:17You can connect to me.
00:46:22Yeah, I know.
00:46:25But I think I can help you out.
00:46:28What are you doing?
00:46:30As long as you're stuck here, you might as well make the most of it.
00:46:34Take a stand.
00:46:36Let everyone know you're weirder than they ever imagined you were.
00:46:39Trust me, I think they're going to find out.
00:46:49Thanks. I had a nice time.
00:46:51Do you like it? I realize it's a new look for you.
00:46:54It doesn't matter. I'm not going to be here after Saturday night.
00:46:57Why? Where are you going?
00:47:01Space.
00:47:03The final frontier.
00:47:10Sherry?
00:47:15Sherry?
00:47:28Sherry?
00:47:34Sherry?
00:47:40Good morning.
00:47:42I can't find Sherry. She disappeared last night.
00:47:47I'll keep an eye out.
00:47:51Sherry?
00:47:54Sherry?
00:48:06Oh, my God.
00:48:09Oh, hi, dear.
00:48:13What have you done, you monster?
00:48:15Oh, Sherry.
00:48:17You are a sicko.
00:48:19I can't believe that you and I are related.
00:48:22Jeff is normal. Why can't you be normal?
00:48:25Why can't I just have two normal brothers?
00:48:28Why does everything happen to me?
00:48:32A person discovers he's an extraterrestrial
00:48:34when the DNA packet in his brain explodes.
00:48:37It requires an intense, traumatic experience.
00:48:42What are you doing?
00:48:45Ryan?
00:48:49And don't talk to me today in school.
00:48:51You're going to die for this one.
00:48:53Damn, nothing is going to happen to you.
00:48:55You're going to die for this one.
00:48:57You're going to die for this one.
00:48:59You're going to die for this one.
00:49:01Damn, nothing.
00:49:08Is it like a problem for your parents if you date?
00:49:10I mean, age is only a state of mind.
00:49:12Hey, Dan.
00:49:14Excuse me, but I think I'm late for class.
00:49:16I really got to talk to you, man.
00:49:18You won't believe what happened last night.
00:49:20Sorry, but I can't miss history
00:49:22for another episode of Space Cadet.
00:49:25Do I think it's weird?
00:49:27I think it's nuts.
00:49:29I think it's the biggest crock of shit
00:49:31I've ever heard in my life.
00:49:33But you don't know how I feel, Dan.
00:49:35You don't know what it's like being so different
00:49:37and finally having an explanation.
00:49:39It's too bizarre, Ryan, okay?
00:49:41It's Twilight Zone. It's Amazing Stories.
00:49:43It's Outer Limits.
00:49:45I think Velcro is weird.
00:49:47I think central plumbing is weird, but I still flush.
00:49:49These examples illustrate the fact
00:49:51that all signed numbers are ordered
00:49:53on the real number line.
00:49:55Any number is greater than every number to its left
00:49:58and is less than every number to its right.
00:50:01A set of real numbers...
00:50:03I still don't know what planet I'm from.
00:50:05...satisfying A is less than...
00:50:07That's really funny, Ryan.
00:50:09I need some heavy traffic.
00:50:11Will you shut up, man?
00:50:13...is called an open interval.
00:50:15Move your fat head, Richmond.
00:50:17I can't see the board.
00:50:20Stop kicking my chair, Bruckner.
00:50:23Make me.
00:50:25It requires an intense, dramatic experience.
00:50:32Jesus Christ, Ryan!
00:50:34You finally hit him!
00:50:36Explode, damn it!
00:50:46Ryan, are you crazy?
00:50:48Nothing.
00:50:49Knock, squat!
00:50:51This is a raid.
00:50:54Ever notice anything suspicious about, uh...
00:50:59...that student?
00:51:01Uh, why, yes.
00:51:03As a matter of fact, just now.
00:51:05I think he is on drugs.
00:51:07Smoking pot?
00:51:09What are you guys doing?
00:51:11What are you guys doing?
00:51:18Oh, what are these, uh, snookers...
00:51:21...DBs, poopahs...
00:51:23...and, uh, breath mints...
00:51:25...doing in your backpack?
00:51:27Charles? Yeah, I saw him dealing last week.
00:51:29Cuff him, Edna.
00:51:31I'll do that, baby.
00:51:37Listen, listen.
00:51:38They came to my house last night...
00:51:39...and they tried to steal my blood.
00:51:41And then they took me to their bus.
00:51:43And they told me they were extraterrestrials.
00:51:45They told me a videotape.
00:51:46They told me I'm their leader.
00:51:55We got him.
00:51:56Everything's under control.
00:52:02What planet are we from?
00:52:03Are you crazy?
00:52:04Crazy enough to blow your head off.
00:52:06I don't know yet, I swear.
00:52:07Will you put the gun away?
00:52:08I told you it wouldn't work.
00:52:09Jesus.
00:52:11Let's try my idea.
00:52:14Ryan.
00:52:15Are you a virgin?
00:52:17What?
00:52:18Answer.
00:52:19That's a very personal question.
00:52:24Of course he is.
00:52:25Ryan, we only have 24 hours to burst your DNA.
00:52:29This calls for drastic measures.
00:52:32I want you to have sex with Edna.
00:52:34Edna.
00:52:42These are my tools.
00:52:44For pleasure.
00:52:48And pain.
00:52:50Wait.
00:52:52Will you give me one more chance, guys?
00:52:53I think I can think of something.
00:53:05I hope for your sake this works, Ryan.
00:53:07If not, I have some other mind-bashing alternatives.
00:53:14Just don't turn to me for your jollies.
00:53:16A hundred trillion miles away from Earth.
00:53:35Lisa?
00:53:40Hi.
00:53:41Aren't you supposed to be in school?
00:53:43No.
00:53:44I've got something very personal to take care of.
00:53:48Then what are you doing here?
00:53:50Can I come in?
00:54:05What is it?
00:54:06Listen, if I ask you something totally off the wall,
00:54:08will you try and keep an open mind?
00:54:10That depends.
00:54:13This is really hard to explain.
00:54:15You can talk to me.
00:54:17I've heard it all.
00:54:20Okay.
00:54:22Lisa, I need to make love to you.
00:54:25What?
00:54:26There are people outside in that bus with guns
00:54:28who will kill me if I don't make love to you.
00:54:35Okay.
00:54:43What is this?
00:54:44Some kind of a sick joke?
00:54:45I can explain.
00:54:46Okay, explain.
00:54:48I know this sounds crazy, Lisa, but it's the truth.
00:54:50I am an extraterrestrial.
00:54:52A genetic accident born on Earth.
00:54:54Tomorrow night, I'm taking off from my home planet
00:54:56with those friends of mine in the revolving rotunda room,
00:54:58which is actually a spaceship.
00:55:00It's generated by our collective extraterrestrial energy.
00:55:03I'm their navigator.
00:55:05Are you with me so far?
00:55:06There's more?
00:55:07The route to our planet is stored in the DNA packet in my brain,
00:55:10which can only be released in the event of a traumatic experience.
00:55:15For one reckless and obviously very stupid moment,
00:55:18I thought sex might do the trick.
00:55:25You really believe this, don't you?
00:55:27Some of us go to Hollywood,
00:55:29and some of us go...
00:55:33to hell.
00:55:34I'm sorry.
00:55:35I'm sorry.
00:56:03Well...
00:56:04I've certainly done it for much less interesting reasons.
00:56:35I look just like the B-52s.
00:56:38B-52!
00:56:39Bingo!
00:56:40Don't forget your B-52s.
00:56:42Do all the exercises from A-21 to B-52.
00:56:51Oh!
00:56:52Ow!
00:56:53That's it.
00:56:54Planet B-52.
00:56:55What's wrong?
00:56:56I just exploded.
00:56:58Wow.
00:56:59You really were happy.
00:57:02Wow.
00:57:03You really were hard up.
00:57:11Somehow, you're a part of this.
00:57:13That's why I've liked you so much all this time.
00:57:15You were the key to discovering my home planet.
00:57:18Nice to know I have a purpose in life.
00:57:21So you're coming to the wedding with me tomorrow?
00:57:23Are you kidding?
00:57:24I wouldn't miss that party for the world.
00:57:32Mm-hmm.
00:57:33Mm-hmm.
00:57:35That's confirmed.
00:57:36There is a planet B-52 in the Corona Borealis.
00:57:39Oh!
00:57:40Yes!
00:57:41Oh, it's my home!
00:57:45Well, there goes college.
00:57:49You don't know how lucky you are, young lady.
00:57:54You're carrying a space seed.
00:57:57Fertilize your own garden, buddy.
00:57:59You don't know as much as you think you do.
00:58:03Ryan, who is this bimbo?
00:58:05Bimbo?
00:58:06Listen, hairpiece.
00:58:08If this thing's for real, you better just sit tight and cool your act until tomorrow.
00:58:14She's right, Charles.
00:58:15The less they see of you and Sunnydale, the better.
00:58:18Don't you think I know that?
00:58:20Don't you realize, Ryan, that you're merely one cog in an elaborate plan?
00:58:25This has been our dream for years.
00:58:29Oh.
00:58:30Oh, my God.
00:58:43Thanks.
00:58:44Hey, Ryan!
00:58:45I told your brother what happened.
00:58:46He went down to bail you out.
00:58:47Jesus, Dan.
00:58:48Hey.
00:58:50I gotta go.
00:58:51I'm working tonight.
00:59:00To Jeff, I leave my car and all the contents of my room.
00:59:04Take good care of my parrot.
00:59:07To Marilyn, I leave nothing.
00:59:09Ryan, your brain is fried.
00:59:11All right.
00:59:12I want to know what the hell is going on.
00:59:14I'm sorry, Jeff.
00:59:15Someone else got to him first.
00:59:16You know, I don't have time for practical jokes, you assholes.
00:59:19Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff.
00:59:21I forgot to ask.
00:59:22Do I need an invitation to get into your bachelor party tonight?
00:59:25I guess mine got lost in the mail.
00:59:28You're not invited.
00:59:32Not invited?
00:59:33Oh, Jeff.
00:59:34Ryan?
00:59:35Look what you did.
00:59:36Ryan?
00:59:37He had his heart set on it for weeks.
00:59:39Mean.
00:59:40Jeff, telephone.
00:59:42Something about a cake for dinner.
00:59:44Oh, uh.
00:59:45Jesus.
00:59:46Okay, okay.
00:59:47You can bring it.
00:59:48Just keep your mouth shut and stay away from my furnace.
00:59:52Thank you, Jeff.
00:59:53All right, all right, all right.
00:59:54Here's your phone number.
00:59:56Woo!
00:59:59You're edible, mate.
01:00:00I'm sure you're good and hungry.
01:00:02All right, come on, Ryan.
01:00:03Let's go.
01:00:04Last night on earth.
01:00:05Ready?
01:00:07We use a three-to-one gear ratio on our step-down drive mechanism.
01:00:12See here, all those concrete posts were pre-poured bit.
01:00:16Right.
01:00:23Dick.
01:00:24You know that Peace Corps thing I was bugging you about?
01:00:26Forget it.
01:00:27Great guy.
01:00:28He was gonna send me to Tahiti.
01:00:30Hey, look, I heard there was gonna be the stripper, right?
01:00:32He put a dollar bill in your mouth.
01:00:33Did you get it?
01:00:34Yeah.
01:00:35Bring on the cake!
01:00:36Bring the cake!
01:00:37Bring the cake!
01:00:38Bring the cake!
01:00:39Bring the cake!
01:00:40Bring the cake!
01:00:41Bring the cake!
01:00:42Bring the cake!
01:00:43Bring the cake!
01:00:46I told you she was a hooker.
01:01:04Will you cool it with that stuff?
01:01:05It cost me $30.
01:01:06For a bottle of whiskey?
01:01:09Yes.
01:01:10There was a large service charge involved.
01:01:12You're such an idiot, Dan.
01:01:15Why do you try so hard?
01:01:16Where does it get you?
01:01:17Spending Friday night with me?
01:01:19Wasting your overpriced booze?
01:01:21That you bought with the hope of getting some girl in bed.
01:01:25Well, at least I try.
01:01:27You don't even try.
01:01:29You're wrong, man.
01:01:30I do try.
01:01:32I tried with Lisa.
01:01:35The first girl I feel something for jumps out of the cake at my brother's bachelor party.
01:01:41Cheer up, Ryan.
01:01:43There'll be other girls.
01:01:45I know.
01:01:48But I wonder what they'll look like.
01:01:51Strange creatures with multiple G-spots and six tits.
01:01:55Christ.
01:01:56What an imagination.
01:01:57Mr. Camelier.
01:01:58Please look this way, Ryan.
01:01:59No questions, Mary.
01:02:00No questions.
01:02:01And marriage go together like a church and carriage.
01:02:17Hey.
01:02:18Hi, you two.
01:02:19Hi.
01:02:20How are you?
01:02:21Good.
01:02:22How are you?
01:02:23Good.
01:02:24Hey.
01:02:25Hiya, cutie.
01:02:26What are you doing here?
01:02:27What do you mean, what am I doing here?
01:02:28You invited me, remember?
01:02:29That was before last night.
01:02:30What about last night?
01:02:31What the hell did you think you were doing?
01:02:32I have a real life, Ryan.
01:02:33I'm a big girl.
01:02:34I don't have fantasies about blasting off into outer space and revolving lustrums.
01:02:35Shh.
01:02:36You don't believe me?
01:02:37I do.
01:02:38I do.
01:02:39I do.
01:02:40I do.
01:02:41I do.
01:02:42I do.
01:02:43I do.
01:02:44I do.
01:02:45I do.
01:02:46I do.
01:02:47I do.
01:02:48I do.
01:02:49I do.
01:02:50I do.
01:02:51I do.
01:02:52I do.
01:02:53You don't believe me?
01:02:54I am crazy enough that I do believe you,
01:02:58but the kind of girl that will fall for a story like that
01:03:01is also the kind of girl who will jump out of a cake.
01:03:06Weird, huh?
01:03:08Kind of weird.
01:03:11Excuse me, this is kind of personal.
01:03:13Would you mind...
01:03:14Excuse me?
01:03:19We will cease to be outcasts.
01:03:23No longer will we live our lives in this garbage dump of the universe.
01:03:29We are through doing time on planet Earth.
01:03:34Pinheads, nimnods, and geeks.
01:03:37Reach for the stars!
01:03:39Yeah!
01:03:41You are my heart, my soul, my everything.
01:03:47With you I'm greater than the sum of all my parts.
01:03:51Bigger than life.
01:03:53Complete.
01:03:55To you I pledge my utter devotion,
01:04:00my sacred trust,
01:04:02all my love.
01:04:07If there are any among you who have any objection to this blessed union between this lovely couple,
01:04:13speak now or forever hold your peace.
01:04:16I object.
01:04:18Mother, you can't object.
01:04:20The hell I can't.
01:04:21Upon what do you base your objection?
01:04:23On that boy.
01:04:25Ryan.
01:04:26What about that boy?
01:04:28There's something wrong with him.
01:04:30He's weird. He's strange.
01:04:32I don't want my daughter to have a son like that.
01:04:34How dare you?
01:04:36It's people like Ryan that make this world worth living in.
01:04:39And stupid bitches like you who make me appreciate him so much more.
01:04:47Bravo!
01:04:49You may kiss the bride.
01:05:16Bravo!
01:05:25Remember, we use force if necessary.
01:05:27Nothing must stand in our way.
01:05:41Thanks.
01:05:43Nobody's ever said anything like that about me before.
01:05:48You deserve it.
01:06:01Here.
01:06:04What's this?
01:06:05It's me.
01:06:06Original stuff.
01:06:08Lounge Lizards almost recorded one of my songs, you know?
01:06:11It's for your trip.
01:06:14I'm not going.
01:06:15What?
01:06:17You said it.
01:06:18Earth needs weirdos like me.
01:06:22But what will you tell Charles and Edna?
01:06:25They'll get over it.
01:06:32Scratch that itch!
01:06:38Thanks. I'll treasure it.
01:06:41The love bug bit me.
01:06:44Didn't mean for him to get me.
01:06:47Woo!
01:06:48Get up in the morning.
01:06:51And I'm filled with desire.
01:06:54No, no, I can't stop the fire.
01:06:58Love is a real live wire.
01:07:02Hey, Fred!
01:07:03Great wedding.
01:07:04Awful band.
01:07:06Hello, Luke.
01:07:07Ain't this place supposed to spin?
01:07:09What the hell puts a revolving restaurant if it doesn't spin, huh?
01:07:23If I get there and it's horrible, I don't think I can get a bus back to Sunnydale.
01:07:29Anyway, if I am an extraterrestrial,
01:07:32all it means is I'm a member of a very exclusive minority group.
01:07:40So much for the world record books, huh, Fred?
01:07:47Come on, son, I've had it with those damn technicians.
01:07:50We're gonna try that nutty idea of yours.
01:07:52Dad, no, Dad, we can't.
01:07:54Why not?
01:07:55Because weird ideas have their time and place,
01:07:57and the time for this one has passed.
01:07:59Don't talk to me like some dime store Confucius.
01:08:03I'm your father.
01:08:04Come on, let's go.
01:08:07If you see Charles and Edna, call me.
01:08:10Hey, I'm a Leo.
01:08:12Uh, Lisa!
01:08:13Lisa, your, um, your, uh, your, uh, guitar, it's on fire or something.
01:08:19And I don't know the correction
01:08:22Got me rockin' and a-reelin'
01:08:26And I can't shake the feelin'
01:08:29Love is like an itchin' in my heart
01:08:32Tearin' it all apart
01:08:34Just an itchin' in my heart
01:08:36And baby, I can't scratch it
01:08:39Scratch, scratch, scratch me!
01:08:43You've got to listen to me, Dad.
01:08:45Those people who came to dinner the other night,
01:08:47they weren't from Berkeley.
01:08:49Help me with the rope, will you, son?
01:08:51They think they're extraterrestrials.
01:08:53They came to town to find me.
01:08:56I might be one, too.
01:08:58Keep a hold on your end, Ryan.
01:09:00They think your restaurant is their spaceship.
01:09:02They're supposed to take off at midnight.
01:09:04We've got to stop them.
01:09:06I sure hope this works.
01:09:10Stop! Stop! Stop!
01:09:13In the name of love
01:09:16Before you break my heart
01:09:23Scat! Scat!
01:09:31Give me the rope, son.
01:09:33No.
01:09:35What do you mean, no?
01:09:37Don't you care about this hotel?
01:09:39Well, of course I care.
01:09:41And one of these days, it's gonna be very important to you, too.
01:09:43Now give me the damn rope, damn it!
01:09:45Dad!
01:09:47Son, what the hell's the matter with you?
01:09:50Why are you helping a bunch of extraterrestrials
01:09:53jumpstart this thing into outer space?
01:09:55Son, if they can really do all that,
01:09:57you know what I say?
01:09:59More power to them.
01:10:01Dad!
01:10:03Dad!
01:10:15Ah!
01:10:27Baby, baby, I'm aware of where you go
01:10:32Each time you leave my door
01:10:45Well, sweetheart, that's not at all what happened.
01:10:49I beg your pardon.
01:10:51Excuse me, sir, can I help you?
01:10:53Wedding gifts?
01:10:58I don't want you doing this, Dad!
01:11:02Dad! Dad! Stop!
01:11:13Ha! It worked!
01:11:15By God, we did it!
01:11:21No!
01:11:23Stop in the name of love
01:11:27Before you break my heart
01:11:31Stop in the name of love
01:11:34Ah!
01:11:36Terrorists!
01:11:38It's that couple from Berkeley!
01:11:47Hey!
01:11:48Okay, everybody, hit the dirt!
01:11:50Sorry to interrupt this terrific party, folks.
01:11:52Would there be a Ryan Richmond in the house?
01:11:56Would you please step forward, Ryan Richmond?
01:12:02Oh, Lord!
01:12:06I jumpstarted that son of a bitch!
01:12:08Yeah!
01:12:16Ryan Richmond, this is your life.
01:12:20No way.
01:12:25You never said anything about all these people.
01:12:27You never asked me.
01:12:28Ryan, just what in the hell is going on here?
01:12:30What do you want to do with him, Ryan?
01:12:32We could eliminate whoever you like.
01:12:34Ryan, don't! Please!
01:12:36Do you remember when we used to take baths together?
01:12:38Mr. Bubble?
01:12:39Shut up!
01:12:42Hey, hey, hey, now this is starting to look like a party.
01:12:47Take off. Oh, four minutes.
01:12:49And counting.
01:12:50Even if this thing does take off, which I'm beginning to doubt, I am not going.
01:12:53Ryan, you better see that these people clear out of here.
01:12:55This will take off.
01:12:57You know, for my entire life, you've all made me feel like an outsider
01:13:02because I'm a little different, a little bit weird.
01:13:05It got to the point where I was ready to take off for another planet
01:13:08because I don't know what's so special about the prune capital of the world.
01:13:13Well, I'm not running away.
01:13:16I am not going.
01:13:19Don't be a fool, Ryan. We need you.
01:13:21Now get these people out of here and let's go.
01:13:24Don't touch that. We're beginning to accelerate.
01:13:27Ryan!
01:13:33You shouldn't have done that.
01:13:35Oh, we're moving.
01:13:41Yes.
01:13:43What the hell is going on here, Fred?
01:13:46Civilians, leave or you'll all perish.
01:13:51We've all got to get out of here.
01:13:53Jesus Christ, what's happening?
01:14:01Look at this thing go, Lou.
01:14:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:14:15Please, God, all I wanted was a date.
01:14:17We're taking off. Pass that.
01:14:3312, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
01:14:46Guys, get out of here.
01:14:50Thank God Slice and Slimer installed emergency brakes.
01:15:04Hey, hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:15:08Get us out of here.
01:15:09Unreal.
01:15:12I'll be back.
01:15:13Well, have fun.
01:15:16This is absolutely the most deranged experience of my entire life.
01:15:22You are the craziest person I've ever met.
01:15:27Everything's under control.
01:15:34I got that, babe.
01:15:41Check this place.
01:15:45Oh!
01:15:46Oh, my Lord, I went through change of life.
01:15:48What the hell is that?
01:15:59It's okay, sir.
01:16:02It's okay, sir.
01:16:14Hey, Marilyn.
01:16:15What?
01:16:16You got a date for the prune dance?
01:16:18No.
01:16:20Not there, Ryan. There.
01:16:22Oh.
01:16:23Is this a first for you?
01:16:25Not really. I've done a lot of creative visualization.
01:16:32Okay.
01:16:34It's time we tried that theory of yours about the Taj Mahal.
01:17:02Baby, baby, baby, you're out of this world.
01:17:08Out of this world.
01:17:11That's where you take me.
01:17:14Into a land of baby, baby, baby love.
01:17:19Baby love.
01:17:21You'll never say goodbye.
01:17:25Baby, baby, baby, you're out of this world.
01:17:30Baby, baby.
01:17:32My happiness is by your side.
01:17:37Baby love.
01:17:55Baby, baby, you're out of this, out of this world.
01:18:00Magic, magic, magic.
01:18:03The way you make my dreams come true
01:18:06Oh baby, love me, love me
01:18:09You gotta let me follow you
01:18:13Yeah, people never cry
01:18:16But I was never saved
01:18:18You're like baby, baby, baby
01:18:21You're out of this world
01:18:25Out of this world
01:18:28That's where you take me
01:18:31Into a land of baby, baby
01:18:34Baby love, baby love
01:18:37People never cry
01:18:39But I was never saved
01:18:41You're like baby, baby, baby
01:18:44You're out of this world
01:18:48My happiness is by your side
01:19:01Baby, baby, you're out of this, out of this world
01:19:17Magic, magic, magic
01:19:19The way you make my dreams come true
01:19:22Oh baby, love me, love me
01:19:25You gotta let me follow you
01:19:29Yeah, people never cry
01:19:32But I was never saved
01:19:34You're like baby, baby, baby
01:19:36You're out of this, out of this world
01:20:29Out of this world
01:20:59Out of this world
01:21:29Out of this world
01:21:32Out of this world
01:21:35Out of this world
01:21:38Out of this world
01:21:41Out of this world
01:21:44Out of this world
01:21:47Out of this world
01:21:50Out of this world
01:21:53Out of this world
01:21:56Out of this world
01:21:59Out of this world
01:22:02Out of this world
01:22:05Out of this world
01:22:08Out of this world
01:22:11Out of this world
01:22:14Out of this world
01:22:17Out of this world
01:22:20Out of this world
01:22:23Out of this world
01:22:26Out of this world
01:22:29Out of this world
01:22:32Out of this world
01:22:35Out of this world
01:22:38Out of this world
01:22:41Out of this world
01:22:44Out of this world
01:22:53Out of this world
01:22:56Out of this world
01:22:59Out of this world
01:23:02Out of this world
01:23:05Out of this world
01:23:08Out of this world
01:23:11Out of this world
01:23:14Out of this world
01:23:17Out of this world