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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:02I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:04I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:06I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:08I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:10I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:12I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:14I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:16I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:18I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:20I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:22I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:24I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:26I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:28I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:30I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:32I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:34I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:36I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:38I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:40I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:42I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:44I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:46I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:48I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:50I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:52I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:54I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:56I'm just passing by as if nothing happened.
00:00:58It opened my eyes a bit more.
00:01:00But only for a moment.
00:01:04I still feel nobody.
00:01:08Concentrating on details,
00:01:10I can't find the meaning of a given situation,
00:01:12an event.
00:01:14I can't focus on a given job.
00:01:16I focus on a few weeks.
00:01:20Of course, an accident happens every day.
00:01:22A mistake of days, a week.
00:01:24A complete lack of orientation in the field.
00:01:28The fact that I've been somewhere 10 times
00:01:30doesn't mean
00:01:32that I'm going there for the 11th time.
00:01:34Of course, I'll always be lost,
00:01:36wondering.
00:01:40Well, I'm not going
00:01:42where I was supposed to go.
00:01:44The authorities are scaring me.
00:01:46I haven't made a personal ID
00:01:48even though I lost it 4 years ago.
00:01:50My life has always been a big mess.
00:01:52In my office, in my room,
00:01:54in my head.
00:01:56It's a constant anxiety.
00:01:58Emotions that are hard to let go
00:02:00and that usually have no right to exist.
00:02:02I couldn't start a family,
00:02:04I don't have children,
00:02:06a car,
00:02:08or a decent job.
00:02:12Everyone says I have brilliant ideas
00:02:14and I feed them.
00:02:16I feed them with ideas.
00:02:18I come up with various traps
00:02:20to force myself to act.
00:02:22I've been studying lately.
00:02:24I also have a desk
00:02:26full of cards
00:02:30with phone numbers.
00:02:34But of course
00:02:36those numbers have no names.
00:02:38I can't work longer than a few weeks
00:02:42but I have periods when I do amazing things.
00:02:44I can't live without
00:02:46the acceptance of others.
00:02:48I can't buy a box,
00:02:50a huge cardboard box.
00:02:56For example, when I talk
00:02:58I can't sit still.
00:03:00I have to walk.
00:03:02I have to walk back and forth.
00:03:04I came across an opinion
00:03:06that it's hard to find a person
00:03:08who is so willing to take risks
00:03:10and who is not shy,
00:03:12like me.
00:03:14I lose my bags, my umbrellas,
00:03:16I live in total chaos.
00:03:18I write poems.
00:03:22I can't work longer
00:03:24than a few weeks.
00:03:28But I have periods
00:03:32when I do amazing things.
00:03:34Clever, stupid,
00:03:36self-aware, complex,
00:03:38late, intelligent.
00:03:40That's me.
00:03:42I can't work longer
00:03:44than a few weeks
00:03:46but I have periods
00:03:48when I do amazing things.
00:03:50I came across an opinion
00:03:52that it's hard to find a person
00:03:54who is so willing to take risks
00:03:56and who is not shy,
00:03:58like me.
00:04:00I came across an opinion
00:04:02that it's hard to find a person
00:04:04who is so willing to take risks
00:04:06and who is not shy,
00:04:08like me.
00:04:12I came across an opinion
00:04:14that it's hard to find a person
00:04:16who is so willing to take risks
00:04:18and who is not shy,
00:04:20like me.
00:04:22I came across an opinion
00:04:24that it's hard to find a person
00:04:26who is so willing to take risks
00:04:28and who is not shy,
00:04:30like me.
00:04:32I came across an opinion
00:04:34that it's hard to find a person
00:04:36who is so willing to take risks
00:04:38and who is not shy,
00:04:40like me.
00:05:10Thank you for the film.
00:05:14I'd like to...
00:05:40I don't play a role of a scientist.
00:05:42I don't play any role at all.
00:05:44I was simply asked
00:05:46to study
00:05:48phenomena
00:05:50occurring in the brain
00:05:52of people with
00:05:54so-called ADHD.
00:05:56Of course,
00:05:58I don't have a proper education.
00:06:00I graduated from a theatre school
00:06:02in Warsaw.
00:06:04I only deal with the brain
00:06:06as an amateur,
00:06:08as a reader
00:06:10of popular science books
00:06:12which allow me
00:06:14to understand
00:06:16the dysfunction
00:06:18which I was diagnosed with.
00:06:20The last such book
00:06:22is a book by
00:06:24professor John Maxwell
00:06:26entitled Inaccessible
00:06:28about brain waves
00:06:30which accompany us during sleep
00:06:32and are a constant
00:06:34phenomenon in people
00:06:36with a deficit of attention,
00:06:38ADHD.
00:06:40If you were so kind,
00:06:42a bit more light.
00:06:44My lecture is quite long,
00:06:46my eyes are getting tired.
00:06:48Thank you very much.
00:06:50I'll read
00:06:52a few letters
00:06:54from people with ADHD.
00:06:56We'll listen to the recordings
00:06:58of their statements.
00:07:02Before I start reading my lecture,
00:07:04I'd like to welcome
00:07:06a few people who came
00:07:08from far away,
00:07:10from very far away
00:07:12to participate in our meeting.
00:07:14Ladies and gentlemen,
00:07:16professor John Maxwell is among us,
00:07:18the author of Inaccessible,
00:07:22the creator and
00:07:24the inspirer of my work,
00:07:26who, despite his classes
00:07:28and patients,
00:07:30decided to come to us
00:07:32in New York.
00:07:34Dear professor, this is a great honor for me
00:07:36and a special day, as you may guess.
00:07:38I'm touched by your presence.
00:07:42I'd also like to welcome
00:07:44Michelle Pepot
00:07:46from the therapeutic center in Lyon.
00:07:50Madame, je suis très heureuse de vous voir.
00:07:52Merci pour votre présence.
00:07:54Merci à vous.
00:07:56I'd also like to welcome
00:07:58all the therapists and psychiatrists
00:08:00for this unexpected invitation.
00:08:02I'd also like to welcome
00:08:04my friends from ADHD group.
00:08:06We had a small meeting
00:08:08recently,
00:08:10because we're looking for our friend
00:08:12Jasia Koczka.
00:08:14I'd like you to say a few words
00:08:16about Jasia later.
00:08:18Right now.
00:08:20I think this is a very, very,
00:08:22very good opportunity.
00:08:24I'd also like to welcome
00:08:26of course,
00:08:28the president
00:08:30of the ADHD Foundation,
00:08:32who was so nice and released
00:08:34professor John Maxwell
00:08:36with the grant
00:08:38that the professor promised me.
00:08:40The Foundation took it upon itself.
00:08:44Excuse me, is there a translator?
00:08:46Because I'm going to speak Polish.
00:08:48There is a translator.
00:08:50Great.
00:08:52I'll turn off my phone.
00:18:22I'm sorry.
00:18:24I'm sorry.
00:18:26A little digression.
00:18:28Generally speaking,
00:18:30a human being
00:18:32works on his imagination,
00:18:34doesn't he?
00:18:36Let's say
00:18:38we feel like
00:18:40having a big dog.
00:18:42But we live high up,
00:18:44without an elevator.
00:18:46The dog has nowhere to run.
00:18:48So the brain slowly
00:18:50evaluates these facts
00:18:52and withdraws
00:18:54from the impulse action.
00:18:58A person with ADHD, however,
00:19:02wakes up with the thought of a dog,
00:19:06a big dog,
00:19:08and he already has it.
00:19:12Actually.
00:19:14He goes to the shelter,
00:19:16chooses
00:19:18the biggest Italian monster,
00:19:22the monster lurks in the kitchen,
00:19:24doesn't let him
00:19:26get to the bathroom,
00:19:28doesn't let him
00:19:30live with his neighbor,
00:19:32swallows spoons for coffee,
00:19:36all these small,
00:19:38metal objects.
00:19:42Then he throws them out
00:19:44of the basement
00:19:46and straight under my feet.
00:19:50Always straight under...
00:19:54I'm sorry.
00:19:56I'm sorry.
00:19:58But I'm just
00:20:02very moved.
00:20:06And maybe a little
00:20:08tired.
00:20:10Dear professor,
00:20:12I...
00:20:14I...
00:20:20Please
00:20:22explain to the professor
00:20:24that I thank him.
00:20:28Just like that,
00:20:30that I thank him very much.
00:20:34I know English.
00:20:36I know Polish.
00:20:40I even know how a tiger is
00:20:42tented.
00:20:46But these are such voids,
00:20:50such sudden voids,
00:20:54also in the case
00:20:56of foreign languages.
00:21:00Please
00:21:02explain to the professor
00:21:04that this work
00:21:08has changed
00:21:10my whole life.
00:21:18At the beginning of my work,
00:21:20I would like to thank
00:21:22professor John Maxwell,
00:21:26whose book, Niedostępni,
00:21:28served me as a
00:21:30fundamental material
00:21:32for detailed research
00:21:34on the work of neurotransmitters
00:21:38and the semi-deep phase of sleep
00:21:40in people affected
00:21:42by ADHD.
00:21:46In order to study the problem
00:21:48in more depth,
00:21:50I focused on the phenomenon
00:21:52of mountain hives,
00:21:54gryzony,
00:21:56where important...
00:21:58I'm sorry.
00:22:00Is this your mountain hive?
00:22:02Yes, this is my mountain hive.
00:22:04Then why is it in my garbage?
00:22:06Why is it in my possession?
00:22:08Here you go.
00:22:10A note from a person with ADHD.
00:22:12Thank you very much.
00:22:14It was also in my garbage.
00:22:16The address of this lecture
00:22:18and the inscription is very important.
00:22:20Please.
00:22:22Is this your bag?
00:22:24If there are papers there,
00:22:26such a mass of papers, it's mine.
00:22:28My garbage was taken out
00:22:30this morning at 6.30 a.m.
00:22:32You know that throwing garbage
00:22:34is a crime.
00:22:36I know. I'm sorry.
00:22:38I'm very sorry.
00:22:40When I was going to the lecture,
00:22:42I wanted to throw out the garbage,
00:22:44but I forgot
00:22:46that I was carrying this bag on the street.
00:22:48It looks stupid.
00:22:50And your possession,
00:22:52beautiful anyway,
00:22:54and these tables placed
00:22:56Anyway,
00:22:58your possession was close to the bus stop.
00:23:00The gate was not closed,
00:23:02so I took advantage of it.
00:23:04Ladies and gentlemen,
00:23:08today is a great day for me
00:23:10and it gave me a reason
00:23:12to
00:23:14throw out,
00:23:16clean the house
00:23:18from the ideas,
00:23:20from the beginnings, ideas.
00:23:22Maybe I'll show you.
00:23:24Please,
00:23:26please,
00:23:28ideas, ideas
00:23:30for a foundation, for a story,
00:23:32for a poem.
00:23:34From the beginning,
00:23:36the first chapters are,
00:23:38one might say,
00:23:40revelational,
00:23:42actually revolutionary.
00:23:44Usually, close people
00:23:46have to listen to these ideas,
00:23:48admire them,
00:23:50rightly so,
00:23:52and wait for fulfillment,
00:23:54for realization,
00:23:56for financial profits
00:23:58that were supposed to result
00:24:00from these ideas.
00:24:02But a little bit is enough,
00:24:06a meal at least,
00:24:08and everything disappears
00:24:10irrevocably.
00:24:12And the oar,
00:24:14the oar,
00:24:16the oar was the beginning of the idea
00:24:18Have you heard
00:24:20about
00:24:22rock people?
00:24:24No, no,
00:24:26no,
00:24:28rock people,
00:24:30no.
00:24:32Well, thank God,
00:24:34thank God.
00:24:36I used to have an idea,
00:24:38an impulse
00:24:40to throw everything
00:24:42and start living
00:24:44like a primitive man.
00:24:46To live in rocks,
00:24:48to hunt birds,
00:24:50to set fire.
00:24:52And it was such a strong impulse
00:24:54that I posted it on Facebook
00:24:56along with the whole speech.
00:24:58People, people,
00:25:00we live here for a moment,
00:25:02in some beautiful light.
00:25:04We have to take this light.
00:25:08We can't spend our lives
00:25:10in supermarkets.
00:25:12Someone has to
00:25:14return to the tree.
00:25:16And it
00:25:18worked
00:25:20incredibly fast.
00:25:22People from different countries
00:25:24bought some
00:25:26rock area in Peru
00:25:28and actually lived there.
00:25:30They just
00:25:32wait for me
00:25:34to organize
00:25:36the hierarchy of the tribe.
00:25:40My friend,
00:25:42my journalist friend
00:25:44wanted to talk to them,
00:25:46but they
00:25:48don't use the language anymore.
00:25:50I mean,
00:25:52they create their own language.
00:25:54I even
00:25:56bought a paddle,
00:25:58because there you can only swim
00:26:00with a boat, a canoe.
00:26:02I collected money,
00:26:04cash,
00:26:06but I lost it.
00:26:08It fell like a stone in the water.
00:26:10I lost it.
00:26:12A few weeks of searching.
00:26:14Besides,
00:26:16this work here,
00:26:18www.SkalniLudzie.pl
00:26:20is a decision for
00:26:22a lifetime.
00:26:24It overgrew me a bit.
00:26:26And this is
00:26:28the classic of the species.
00:26:30We infect people
00:26:32with passion and
00:26:34we disappear.
00:26:36We infect people with passion
00:26:38and we disappear.
00:26:40Thank you very much.
00:26:42Is the great Italian dog,
00:26:44whose two fangs stick out,
00:26:46my dog Korek?
00:26:48Congratulations.
00:26:50He sits on my possession and barks.
00:26:52I threw out the trash
00:26:54and forgot about the dog.
00:26:56It's very funny,
00:26:58but there is also a small problem
00:27:00like Pyszczek.
00:27:02Pyszczek?
00:27:04Yes, it's my husband's nickname.
00:27:06He was afraid of dogs
00:27:08and now he sits in the toilet
00:27:10and has no intention of going out
00:27:12until this dog disappears.
00:27:14He sits in the toilet with a laptop
00:27:16and barks at me
00:27:18as if I had brought this dog
00:27:20to the wedding
00:27:22to make Pyszczek laugh
00:27:24in front of people.
00:27:26And it doesn't matter
00:27:28that today I filled
00:27:30all the pitas,
00:27:32all the declarations
00:27:34so I took this oar
00:27:36and I wanted to chase
00:27:38your dog away.
00:27:40Great!
00:27:42I dropped the key behind the gate
00:27:44and he ate it.
00:27:46He swallowed the key.
00:27:48The gate is closed,
00:27:50the possession surrounds the wall,
00:27:52the wedding is in two hours,
00:27:54Pyszczek is crying in the shit,
00:27:56the dog dug up,
00:27:58returned to the possession and barks.
00:28:00How did you get here?
00:28:02It's a great day, great!
00:28:04No, calm down.
00:28:06Of course I'm calm,
00:28:08of course you don't know him.
00:28:10You don't know Pyszczek.
00:28:12And if he cries,
00:28:14a hysteria attack will start.
00:28:16We have serious loans,
00:28:18we run a serious company,
00:28:20at the wedding there will be serious
00:28:22and normal people.
00:28:24Please leave and take the dog.
00:28:26But, ma'am,
00:28:28I have a lecture now,
00:28:30I can't wait.
00:28:32My dog will return it.
00:28:34I mean, he will return
00:28:36this key,
00:28:38but I have to be there.
00:28:40But how will you get there?
00:28:42Ma'am, I would call
00:28:44the fire department.
00:28:46They have such high ladders,
00:28:48I mean, the fireman helps,
00:28:50because, for example,
00:28:52I have a fear of heights
00:28:54and when I lose the key,
00:28:56yes,
00:28:58they help me with these ladders.
00:29:00No, no,
00:29:02it doesn't fit.
00:29:04Please, ma'am,
00:29:06my dog will return it.
00:29:08He will return this key,
00:29:10but I have to be there.
00:29:12Then you will tell
00:29:14about the madwoman with the oar
00:29:16and it will only amuse them.
00:29:18No, it won't amuse them.
00:29:24Okay.
00:29:26You have one hour
00:29:28and not a minute longer.
00:29:32Here, here, ma'am.
00:29:34Here?
00:29:38Here.
00:29:42Thank you very much, ma'am.
00:29:44Thank you very much.
00:29:48This is a lecture
00:29:50about ADHD.
00:29:52It's not contagious.
00:29:56I mean,
00:29:58I hope so.
00:30:02Did I mention about Jasiu Koczko?
00:30:06I did.
00:30:10I have to look for glasses.
00:30:12I'm very sorry, ma'am,
00:30:14but without glasses
00:30:16I won't be able to do it.
00:30:18I just won't be able to do it.
00:30:20I won't be able to do it.
00:30:22I'm sorry.
00:30:32I'm sorry,
00:30:34did you mention about Jasiu Koczko?
00:30:36About professor Koczko?
00:30:38Yes, I did.
00:30:40Can you say hello to him
00:30:42from Paul from the university
00:30:44and say thank you to him
00:30:46for everything?
00:30:48I know, I studied at the university.
00:30:50Yes, ma'am.
00:30:52Did you know Jasiu Koczko?
00:30:54Yes, he's a lovely man.
00:30:56I mean, Jasiu Koczko just changed my whole life.
00:30:58Yes,
00:31:00did you know Jasiu Koczko?
00:31:02Ma'am, I have to go
00:31:04to the back of the room for glasses.
00:31:06If you could tell us
00:31:08something about Jasiu Koczko,
00:31:10because I just
00:31:12wouldn't want you to sit
00:31:14and I have to look for glasses
00:31:16at the back of the room.
00:31:18If you could just tell us
00:31:20how did you meet Jasiu Koczko?
00:31:22He's an adequate person.
00:31:24That will be the topic.
00:31:34How did I meet Jasiu Koczko?
00:31:38I studied marketing and management
00:31:40and he was invited
00:31:42to the biology department for a lecture.
00:31:44And he just got the room wrong.
00:31:46And suddenly he started telling us
00:31:48about brain waves during sleep
00:31:50and it was great.
00:31:52What was he talking about?
00:31:54About what?
00:31:56I remember exactly all the fragments.
00:31:58He said that during sleep
00:32:00we go into the alpha wave.
00:32:02Then the alpha waves are silenced,
00:32:04they go into the beta wave,
00:32:06and in the peak moments of sleep
00:32:08into the theta wave.
00:32:10He said it looks like
00:32:12people always dream in the alpha wave.
00:32:14The lecture was interesting.
00:32:16It was great.
00:32:18Then the dean came
00:32:20and wanted to interrupt.
00:32:22He said it was a mistake,
00:32:24that the biology department is in room 15.
00:32:26But we didn't want to let Mr. Koczko out
00:32:28because when he was talking about brain waves
00:32:30the students from the biology department came to us.
00:32:32Then the students from other departments came
00:32:34because when he was talking about brain waves
00:32:36and about how some people dream in their life
00:32:38there was silence like never before.
00:32:40He made that number with Dean Orzeszko
00:32:42and that changed my whole life.
00:32:46What number did he make?
00:32:48It's interesting, isn't it?
00:32:50What number?
00:32:52At the end of the lecture
00:32:54he said
00:32:56completely out of the blue
00:32:58to run away from this university.
00:33:00That the level of professors,
00:33:02that their attitude to lectures
00:33:04is just pathetic.
00:33:06Then he turned straight to the dean.
00:33:08He was talking straight to him
00:33:10about how professors don't teach
00:33:12and how once a good student
00:33:14was a disgrace.
00:33:16And now he has to be destroyed
00:33:18because he can be a competitor.
00:33:20Everything we thought, no.
00:33:22Everything we knew about the dean
00:33:24he took it all in.
00:33:26And what happened next?
00:33:28It was a terrible affair.
00:33:30The dean gave a speech
00:33:32about the value of the university.
00:33:34Professor Koczek also left.
00:33:36We ran to him
00:33:38and begged him
00:33:40to start his own university.
00:33:42We told him that we would follow him everywhere,
00:33:44that he would earn well
00:33:46and at the same time this university
00:33:48would make sense.
00:33:50Because we,
00:33:52our generation,
00:33:54we need people
00:33:56with charisma.
00:33:58Authorities.
00:34:02We really need them.
00:34:04I will look for these ladies with glasses.
00:34:06And what happened next?
00:34:10The professor got excited
00:34:12about this idea
00:34:14and wrote us a lecture on napkins.
00:34:16We said
00:34:18that now we will have to fulfill the formalities,
00:34:20that we will help in everything
00:34:22and the whole group
00:34:24left the university.
00:34:26To give it energy,
00:34:28that there is no forgiveness.
00:34:30I took a loan, I bought this property.
00:34:32I started the renovation right away.
00:34:34I destroyed all the walls.
00:34:36All the walls.
00:34:38Like the Aula University, so I destroyed all the walls.
00:34:40The professor came to the second meeting
00:34:42right on the spot.
00:34:44But he was...
00:34:46Inaccessible,
00:34:48absent,
00:34:50doubtful.
00:34:52Exactly.
00:34:54He left a calendar.
00:34:56We called him, but...
00:34:58He didn't answer the phone.
00:35:00In a state,
00:35:02perhaps, indicative of alcohol.
00:35:04He was joking, he was fooling around.
00:35:06Yes.
00:35:08Well, it's a pity,
00:35:10because I even wrote a whole plan
00:35:12about the professor, his charisma,
00:35:14authority,
00:35:16the opening of the university.
00:35:18Well, it's a pity.
00:35:20Here are your glasses.
00:35:28And...
00:35:30What happened
00:35:32to this university?
00:35:34I mean, there is a university.
00:35:36There is a big
00:35:38inscription,
00:35:40Higher School of Science.
00:35:42It's a huge inscription, have you seen it?
00:35:44No, I don't see any inscriptions.
00:35:46And who is the director
00:35:48of this university?
00:35:50Dean Orzeszko.
00:35:54We wanted to go back to the university,
00:35:56to apologize to the dean.
00:35:58We told him about our initiative,
00:36:00and he said he could join us.
00:36:02So we agreed.
00:36:04It's a pity it was our work, my money, right?
00:36:06But you only announced
00:36:08the praise about charisma.
00:36:10Instead of the name
00:36:12Koczek, you put
00:36:14the name Orzeszko, right?
00:36:16Yes.
00:36:18And what?
00:36:20And what do you think?
00:36:22You think we don't have character,
00:36:24we only have a moral circle, right?
00:36:26I think about fish.
00:36:28I think about fish.
00:36:30Do fish hear?
00:36:32He didn't answer the phone.
00:36:34Because he was giving a lecture.
00:36:36Lecture.
00:36:38Lecture.
00:36:40Professor Koczek was giving a lecture
00:36:42instead of taking a serious work
00:36:44of a scientific student.
00:36:46Lecture, please.
00:36:48Because that's how it is.
00:36:50Maybe now
00:36:52we'll listen to recording
00:36:54of Jasia Koczek.
00:36:56I don't know what's there.
00:37:00He asked me
00:37:02for an old cassette.
00:37:04An old type of cassette,
00:37:06an old type of tape recorder.
00:37:08He said he wanted to record
00:37:10his message.
00:37:12Maybe now we'll listen.
00:37:14Wait a minute,
00:37:16because
00:37:18there should be a button here.
00:37:20I practiced it at home
00:37:22ten thousand times.
00:37:24This is a camera.
00:37:26Excuse me?
00:37:28This is a camera.
00:37:30Indeed.
00:37:32If I didn't take a tape recorder...
00:37:34Oh, here it is.
00:37:36Here it is.
00:37:38Here it is.
00:37:40Start.
00:37:48No, it's...
00:37:50It's...
00:37:52It's a song of rock people.
00:37:54It was recorded
00:37:56by my friend, a journalist.
00:37:58It's a song of expectations.
00:38:00I mean,
00:38:02they're waiting for me
00:38:04to organize
00:38:06the hierarchy of the tribe.
00:38:08It's...
00:38:10Stop, stop.
00:38:12It will be on the other side.
00:38:14I mean,
00:38:16if it's on the other side,
00:38:18I have to...
00:38:20I have to
00:38:22rewind it
00:38:24to the end.
00:38:26Let it
00:38:28rewind
00:38:30for now.
00:38:34I'm collecting
00:38:36a dove's feather.
00:38:38A feather is
00:38:40a work of art.
00:38:42I used to raise
00:38:44a dove
00:38:46and I could observe
00:38:48how at a certain stage of his life
00:38:50he was overwhelmed
00:38:52by the force of flying.
00:38:54It was amazing.
00:38:56He walked around the room
00:38:58and made circles.
00:39:00And he was surprised
00:39:02and terrified.
00:39:04Because it's something stupid,
00:39:06a circle.
00:39:08What for? When he has something to eat,
00:39:10he's overwhelmed by the force of motion beyond his senses.
00:39:12And those circles
00:39:14were bringing him into the air,
00:39:16higher and higher,
00:39:18every day, higher and higher.
00:39:20What?
00:39:22No.
00:39:24I just want to say
00:39:26that something like that
00:39:28overwhelms us
00:39:30at the first points of the plan.
00:39:32The force of motion
00:39:34beyond our senses.
00:39:36And then he leaves the house
00:39:38under a pretext.
00:39:40For example,
00:39:42if you buy a plant
00:39:44with yellow flowers,
00:39:46it will write better.
00:39:48And you can spend
00:39:50a few days
00:39:52looking for such a plant.
00:39:54But then
00:39:56you don't remember
00:39:58about the plan.
00:40:00It's amazing
00:40:02to live
00:40:04with so many
00:40:06unborn
00:40:08plans.
00:40:10I...
00:40:12Where's the chalk?
00:40:18There's no chalk.
00:40:20There's no chalk.
00:40:24I've said it
00:40:2630 times.
00:40:28Maybe not 30, maybe 3.
00:40:30I've said
00:40:32about preparing a board
00:40:34and it seemed to me
00:40:36that if there's a board,
00:40:38there should be chalk.
00:40:40There's no chalk.
00:40:42I'll tell you what it is.
00:40:44It's planned
00:40:46and consistent.
00:40:48It's a specific plan
00:40:50of a specific social group.
00:40:52It's an invasion
00:40:54of puppets.
00:40:56It's not about age.
00:40:58Psychic
00:41:00puppets.
00:41:02I'm talking to Mr. Kurysz.
00:41:04I haven't seen
00:41:06a single person
00:41:08mentally mature
00:41:10in this foundation.
00:41:12We're in the hands of children.
00:41:14Like in a nightmare.
00:41:16They don't need
00:41:18authorities at all.
00:41:20They just hack projects.
00:41:22ADHD.7
00:41:24A project about people
00:41:26with disabilities.
00:41:28Kamilek will take care of the board
00:41:30only when they come back.
00:41:32And you...
00:41:34I'm talking to Mr. Kurysz.
00:41:36You were supposed to give me
00:41:38a document to sign.
00:41:40We were supposed to sign
00:41:42a contract for a certain amount
00:41:44but you can see
00:41:46that a lunatic
00:41:48will do the job for free.
00:41:50Forget it.
00:41:52It's not...
00:42:01Small objects
00:42:05have no contours.
00:42:08Small objects
00:42:10are invisible.
00:42:16When I started working
00:42:18in my first theatre,
00:42:20the director wanted to come
00:42:22to the dressing room.
00:42:24My friends said
00:42:26you have to clean
00:42:28the toilet.
00:42:30Otherwise he can't
00:42:32come in here.
00:42:34But what can I clean?
00:42:36I had to look at the board
00:42:38for a long time
00:42:40to tell the difference
00:42:42between a brush for powder
00:42:44and a pencil.
00:42:46A book.
00:42:48It's already over.
00:42:50Excuse me?
00:42:52It's already over.
00:42:54It's already over.
00:43:00If it's already over,
00:43:02I have to...
00:43:04Please focus.
00:43:06I'm focused.
00:43:08If it's already over,
00:43:10I have to
00:43:12put it...
00:43:14I don't know
00:43:16which side it is.
00:43:18I don't know, I can't,
00:43:20I don't understand.
00:43:24Quiet, quiet, quiet.
00:43:32Quiet, quiet.
00:43:38Do you know what it is?
00:43:44These are the sounds of planets.
00:43:50These are
00:43:52the sounds of planets.
00:43:56This is what
00:44:00Jaśkoczek
00:44:02wanted to tell us.
00:44:08We often think about the universe.
00:44:12I don't know why.
00:44:14Stop.
00:44:20Stop, stop, stop.
00:44:22I should take medicine.
00:44:26I wanted to do it
00:44:28a little later,
00:44:30so that you could see
00:44:32my condition before and after,
00:44:34because its effect is almost
00:44:36instantaneous.
00:44:38But...
00:44:40I don't think I took it.
00:44:42I didn't take it.
00:44:46I didn't take it.
00:44:52How can you live like this?
00:44:56I was asked yesterday
00:44:58by the man who
00:45:00turned off the electricity.
00:45:06This is what it looks like.
00:45:08Madam,
00:45:10I'm telling you,
00:45:12I'm absolutely normal.
00:45:14Only someone
00:45:16who sits
00:45:18deeply in this
00:45:20can understand
00:45:22whether there is money or not.
00:45:24Office matters are
00:45:26simply impossible.
00:45:28Everything that
00:45:30is connected with a piece of paper,
00:45:32a table,
00:45:34is simply a waste.
00:45:36An ordinary,
00:45:38physical waste.
00:45:40I write about it
00:45:42in my work.
00:45:44Which cells in the brain
00:45:46are responsible for it?
00:45:48And what is a waste?
00:45:50Actually,
00:45:52how can you live like this?
00:45:56I can.
00:45:58I have to and I can.
00:46:02This is an album
00:46:04about fish.
00:46:08It's very expensive.
00:46:10But it interests me.
00:46:12It tires me terribly.
00:46:14Can fish hear?
00:46:18Because if you watch
00:46:20movies about the ocean,
00:46:22it's usually
00:46:24completely quiet there.
00:46:26But in the water
00:46:28a lot is happening.
00:46:30So maybe there is
00:46:32noise there
00:46:34like on the street.
00:46:36And if so,
00:46:38can fish hear it?
00:46:42Does it tire them?
00:46:46I should take medicine.
00:46:50How is it possible that I didn't take it?
00:46:52Why don't you buy
00:46:54a small box with compartments?
00:46:56You can get it in a pharmacy.
00:46:58Why don't you buy
00:47:00a small box
00:47:02with compartments?
00:47:04I have 300 such boxes.
00:47:08Some of them are very expensive.
00:47:10They are works of art
00:47:12from the 18th century.
00:47:16I got
00:47:18a dozen of them as a gift.
00:47:20You put blood on the table.
00:47:26A certain friend of mine
00:47:28who has ADHD
00:47:32spent half her life
00:47:34thinking about
00:47:36ways to
00:47:38put things
00:47:40back in their place.
00:47:44Half of every day
00:47:46she counted
00:47:48took her time
00:47:50looking for
00:47:52glasses,
00:47:54pens,
00:47:56wallets.
00:48:00It's not a matter of memory.
00:48:04It's a dysfunction
00:48:06in the sphere of touch.
00:48:10It's about touch.
00:48:14Just taking a key
00:48:16doesn't make you
00:48:18focus on it.
00:48:20As a result of
00:48:22flickering thoughts
00:48:24a chain of associations
00:48:26goes so far away
00:48:28from the key
00:48:30that you don't
00:48:32feel them at all.
00:48:34So you can't
00:48:36put them back
00:48:38in their place.
00:48:40And you...
00:48:44I'm talking to you, Mr. Kurzys.
00:48:46You
00:48:48predicted
00:48:50that you wouldn't give up
00:48:52even though
00:48:54you wouldn't pay me.
00:48:56That you wouldn't
00:48:58put up with a situation
00:49:00in which people
00:49:02will leave with nothing
00:49:04for as little as money.
00:49:06You predicted that.
00:49:08But you didn't predict
00:49:10that I would publicly say
00:49:12what I think about you.
00:49:14And I think you're a thief.
00:49:18Yes, ladies and gentlemen.
00:49:20Mr. Kurzys is a thief.
00:49:24Oh, you're leaving.
00:49:26Goodbye, sir.
00:49:28Goodbye, sir.
00:49:30Excuse me, do you know
00:49:32that there was a wallet
00:49:34in these rubbish bins?
00:49:38In the wallet?
00:49:40Money.
00:49:42Thank you, lady.
00:49:44Money for a trip.
00:49:46I bought a wallet, a red wallet
00:49:48to have this money
00:49:50for a trip in some
00:49:52logical place.
00:49:54Thank you, lady.
00:50:04Medicine.
00:50:06He'll live.
00:50:10I'm just warning you
00:50:12that his actions
00:50:14are almost instantaneous.
00:50:18It's as if
00:50:20his brain
00:50:22hit the floor.
00:50:30But
00:50:32that's the end
00:50:34of poetry,
00:50:36of poetry.
00:50:38For example, this table
00:50:42what do you think it is?
00:50:44To jest
00:50:46łódź.
00:50:50Widzi pani to?
00:50:52Nie, a ja widzę.
00:50:56To jest
00:50:58łódź.
00:51:02Poza życiu
00:51:04lekarstwa
00:51:06będę widziała tylko
00:51:08stół. Czyli
00:51:10coś do
00:51:12postawienia czegoś
00:51:14na tym.
00:51:32Aha.
00:51:34Najlepiej się napić.
00:51:36Cokolwiek, co połączyłoby
00:51:38neuroprzekaźniki.
00:51:40Zdrowo lekarze
00:51:42zalecają.
00:51:44Ja nie piłam alkoholu do końca
00:51:46studiów. Wszyscy
00:51:48pili, a ja nie czułam takiej
00:51:50potrzeby.
00:51:52W swoim pierwszym teatrze
00:51:54poznałam aktorkę, wielką, piękną,
00:51:56niezwykle inteligentną.
00:51:58Ciągle
00:52:00dawała mi coś do czytania
00:52:02i domagała się
00:52:04dyskusji.
00:52:06A ja czytając
00:52:08wpadałam w pustki.
00:52:12Niczego nie rozumiałam.
00:52:14Jakbym pierwszy
00:52:16raz w życiu widziała litery.
00:52:20Ona piła.
00:52:22Czasem po spektaklu
00:52:24wyjmowała butelkę wódki,
00:52:26czystej wódki. Ja nie dawałam się
00:52:28namówić.
00:52:30Aż w końcu pomyślałam, że może
00:52:32upiję się po prostu.
00:52:34I moja głupota będzie
00:52:36sprawiedliwiona.
00:52:38Wypiłam kieliszek
00:52:42i nagle zaczęłam
00:52:44rozumieć, co czytam.
00:52:48Ja zresztą piszę o tym w swojej pracy,
00:52:50jak alkohol w maleńkiej
00:52:52dawce wpływa na
00:52:54neuroprzekaźniki. Ale wtedy
00:52:56to było tak niezwykłe uczucie,
00:52:58że żeby zrozumieć
00:53:00więcej, wypiłam drugi kieliszek
00:53:02i rzeczywiście
00:53:04trochę więcej rozumiałam.
00:53:06A potem te rozmowy,
00:53:08te dyskusje, spierałyśmy się.
00:53:10Ja odpierałam
00:53:12jej argumenty.
00:53:14Rano obudziłam się
00:53:16widząc
00:53:18nad sobą nieznany Żerandol.
00:53:22Nie mogłam się podnieść z bólu głowy.
00:53:24Ale zaraz
00:53:26ona potem przyszła z kubkiem
00:53:28rosołu,
00:53:30zachwycona tym, co ja wczoraj mówiłam.
00:53:34Potem to już mnie
00:53:36wszędzie
00:53:38zapraszali.
00:53:40No nie, ale to na pewno
00:53:42nie jest sposób. No nie.
00:53:44Pani myśli.
00:53:46Pani myśli, że Jaśkoczek
00:53:50nie odbierał telefonów,
00:53:52bo miał ciąg alkoholowy.
00:53:54No na to wygląda.
00:53:56No na to wygląda oczywiście.
00:53:58A czemu? Czy ja coś mówię?
00:54:00Czy ja pani zaprzeczam?
00:54:02Jak zapyta psychiatra, każdy tu na tej
00:54:04sali powie, że Jaśkoczek
00:54:06to typowy przykład alkoholika.
00:54:08A niezgadzanie się z tym
00:54:10jest typowym wypieraniem problemu.
00:54:12O co pani chodzi?
00:54:14Tylko, że Jaśkoczek nie miał
00:54:16żadnego problemu
00:54:18z odstawieniem alkoholu
00:54:20z dnia na dzień.
00:54:22Zapominał o istnieniu alkoholu
00:54:24tak, jak zapominał
00:54:26swojej daty urodzenia.
00:54:28I jeszcze jedno.
00:54:30Jaśkoczek
00:54:32nie jest
00:54:34uroczy.
00:54:38Tak pani powiedziała.
00:54:40Uroczy.
00:54:44Uroczy człowiek.
00:54:46To samo mówi
00:54:48profesor Maxwell.
00:54:50Nasz Jaś.
00:54:52Nasz Jaś
00:54:54z niezawiązanymi butami.
00:54:56Jaśkoczek
00:54:58Jaśkoczek jest wybitny.
00:55:00I tak
00:55:02należy o nim mówić.
00:55:04I zrobić wszystko
00:55:06żeby się znalazł
00:55:08w obiegu, w dialogu
00:55:10na poziomie swojej
00:55:12intrygencji.
00:55:14Pomóc mu.
00:55:16Tak jak osobie o kulach
00:55:18pomaga się przejść przez próg.
00:55:22Ale pani tego nie chciała.
00:55:24Tak naprawdę.
00:55:26Pani w pewnym sejsie poszła
00:55:28z Jaśemkoczkiem na spacer.
00:55:30A on panią inspirował.
00:55:32Karmił pomysłami
00:55:34nie tylko panią.
00:55:36O co pani chodzi? Ja chciałam przecież.
00:55:38Skarmiał pomysłami.
00:55:40No to trzeba się bronić, działać.
00:55:42Bronić.
00:55:46Działać.
00:55:50Niskie poczucie wartości.
00:55:56Osoba, którą znam
00:55:58a która ma ADHD
00:56:00jest firmą
00:56:02samą w sobie.
00:56:04Nazwiskiem, nazwiskiem
00:56:06na które zapracowała przez lata.
00:56:08Ale proszę mi wierzyć.
00:56:10Budzi się codziennie
00:56:12z poczuciem, że zaczyna od zera.
00:56:14Że musi coś
00:56:16udowodnić.
00:56:18Na pewnym etapie życia
00:56:20człowiek nie powinien działać po to
00:56:22żeby udowadniać swoją wartość.
00:56:24Tylko po to, żeby zrobić
00:56:26coś w dziedzinie swojej pasji.
00:56:30Udowadnianie jest cofaniem się
00:56:32w rozwoju.
00:56:34Działa się w przerażeniu jak dziecko.
00:56:36Osoba, o której
00:56:38mówię.
00:56:40Zrezygnowała z uczenia
00:56:42na uczelni.
00:56:44Bo wydawało jej się, że nie ma
00:56:46autorytetu, chociaż miała autorytet.
00:56:48Ale nie mogła.
00:56:50Nie potrafiła
00:56:52nie potrafiła
00:56:56zobaczyć siebie z zewnątrz.
00:57:00Nie, ja to niezrozumiale mówię.
00:57:02Ja w ogóle, w ogóle niezrozumiale mówię.
00:57:04Zrozumiale pani mówi.
00:57:08Niech pani to powtórzy.
00:57:12Zrozumiale pani mówi.
00:57:14Dziękuję.
00:57:16Osoby z ADHD
00:57:18są bardzo
00:57:20wyczulone na to
00:57:22jak postrzegają je inni.
00:57:26Nie mogą.
00:57:28Nie potrafią zobaczyć siebie
00:57:30z zewnątrz.
00:57:32Więc szukając
00:57:34swojego obrazu w oczach innych.
00:57:38Dosłownie
00:57:40widzą i słyszą to
00:57:42co ktoś o nich myśli.
00:57:44A kiedy czują,
00:57:46że ktoś się
00:57:48nie zachwyca
00:57:50zaczyna się strach,
00:57:52przerażenie, popłoch.
00:57:54Wydało się, że jestem nikim.
00:57:56Teraz mnie zniszczą, skreślą.
00:57:58Więc trzeba walczyć, walczyć, walczyć
00:58:00o obraz swojej osoby.
00:58:02I to się udaje.
00:58:06Stoi przed panią osoba,
00:58:08która
00:58:10zawsze wysłucha.
00:58:12Pomoże, doradzi.
00:58:16Ale tylko raz.
00:58:18Dwa razy.
00:58:20Potem znika.
00:58:22Nie odbiera
00:58:24telefonów.
00:58:26Nitka się urwała.
00:58:30Nie pamięta twarzy ani nazwisk
00:58:32osób, którym
00:58:34pomogła.
00:58:36Co, coś mam w twarzy?
00:58:38Na zębach?
00:58:40Nie widzę
00:58:42swojej twarzy.
00:58:44Ludzie,
00:58:46zwłaszcza kobiety,
00:58:48widzą swoją twarz.
00:58:50Stają przed lustrem
00:58:52jak artystki.
00:58:54Pracują nad swoją twarzą
00:58:56dokładnie, powoli,
00:58:58kreska za kreską,
00:59:00rzęsa za rzęsą.
00:59:02Ludzie za DHD.
00:59:04Nie wszyscy,
00:59:06ale wielu.
00:59:08Nie widzą
00:59:10swojej twarzy.
00:59:12Dlatego są potargani.
00:59:14Kobiety niedomalowane.
00:59:16Wklepują krem w twarz,
00:59:18jakby to był nawóz na ugorze.
00:59:20Szybko.
00:59:22Ciap, ciap, ciap, ciap.
00:59:24Byle szybko.
00:59:28Wie pani,
00:59:30co jest
00:59:32największym marzeniem
00:59:34Jasia Koczka?
00:59:38Dokładnie, powoli
00:59:40umyć filiżanki.
00:59:44Mieć radość
00:59:46z tego,
00:59:48że błyszczy w każdym
00:59:50załomku.
00:59:52Pan to u mnie zauważył,
00:59:54prawda,
00:59:56panie profesorze?
00:59:58Zobaczył pan
01:00:00idealny
01:00:02materiał na ofiarę?
01:00:04A wie pan,
01:00:06co ja w panu zauważyłam?
01:00:08Co?
01:00:10Kliniczny brak
01:00:12lotności.
01:00:14Brak inteligencji
01:00:16twórczej. To co?
01:00:18No przecież to nie jest ktoś,
01:00:20kto może pracować twórczo nad nauką.
01:00:22To nie jest ktoś,
01:00:24kto mógłby napisać taką książkę
01:00:26jak niedostępni.
01:00:28Natomiast
01:00:30Jaś Koczek mógłby.
01:00:32I wie pan, co myślę?
01:00:34Że pan mu
01:00:36wykradł tę pracę.
01:00:38Wyspacerował
01:00:40pan ją sobie z Jasiem Koczkiem.
01:00:42On opowiadał
01:00:44panu swoje pomysły,
01:00:46a pan to wydał
01:00:48jako swoje norma
01:00:50w naszym wypadku.
01:00:52Norma!
01:00:56Co ja mówię?
01:00:58Pani to tłumaczy.
01:01:02A wszystko jedno.
01:01:04Pan nienawidzi Jasia Koczka.
01:01:06Za jego talent.
01:01:10Bo coś się tu nie zgadza, prawda?
01:01:12Z jednej strony
01:01:14obraz niegroźnego przygłupa,
01:01:16a z drugiej strony
01:01:18potęga inteligencji,
01:01:20o jakiej pan nie śmiałby marzyć.
01:01:24Nie umie się bronić.
01:01:28Umie spojrzeć na ADHD
01:01:30od strony fal, beta,
01:01:32teta i alfa.
01:01:34A nie umie znaleźć
01:01:36sposobów na swoją obronę.
01:01:38W obronie
01:01:40przed sprytniejszymi.
01:01:42Trzeba było przeczytać mu
01:01:44tę laudację.
01:01:46Przypomnieć mu,
01:01:48że jest dobry w tym, co robi,
01:01:50a nie wampirzeć na spacerach.
01:01:54Dlaczego pani krzyczy?
01:01:56Dlaczego pani na mnie krzyczy?
01:01:58Dlaczego pani mnie obraża
01:02:00i tych ludzi tutaj na widowni?
01:02:02Przecież pani popełnia błąd za błędem,
01:02:04no to po prostu patrzeć nie można.
01:02:06Ja pani coś powiem, dobrze?
01:02:08Właściwie ja wszystkim coś powiem.
01:02:12Ta pani
01:02:14nie dostała od życia w dupę.
01:02:16O to chodzi.
01:02:18Jak pani dostanie od życia w dupę,
01:02:20ale tak, żeby się pani naprawdę przestraszyła,
01:02:22to przejdzie pani
01:02:24to całe ADHD
01:02:26jak grypa żołądkowa.
01:02:32Bardzo często to słyszę.
01:02:36Tylko, że my
01:02:38nie uczymy się na błędach.
01:02:44Kiedy Andrzej wychodził z domu,
01:02:46to znaczy na zawsze,
01:02:50zapytał,
01:02:52jak ty będziesz żyła.
01:02:56Jak ty będziesz teraz żyła?
01:03:00No jak to jak? Normalnie.
01:03:04Po prostu do innych rzeczy
01:03:06dojdzie mi wypełnianie dokumentów,
01:03:08nad którymi on siedział codziennie.
01:03:12Pierwszy papierek
01:03:14zlekceważyłam.
01:03:16Jakiś świstek z urzędu skarbowego.
01:03:20Zlekceważyłam.
01:03:22Odłożyłam na półkę.
01:03:26To już
01:03:28koperty zaczęły panicznie przychodzić.
01:03:30Bardzo ostemplowane.
01:03:32Bardzo.
01:03:34W końcu, którą się otworzyłam.
01:03:38Urząd wzywa panią
01:03:40w związku z niedopełnieniem
01:03:42mnie.
01:03:46Mnie, która nie ukradła nawet cukierka.
01:03:50Idę.
01:03:52Pukam.
01:03:56Jakaś urzędniczka, bardzo miła.
01:03:58Uśmiecha się.
01:04:04Pity, które nam pani
01:04:06przysyła, to jest taka teczka.
01:04:08A pity z różnych instytucji
01:04:10o, taka.
01:04:12Pani pracuje na umowę o dzieło, tak?
01:04:16I dostaje pani takie koperty
01:04:18pod koniec roku rozliczeniowego, tak?
01:04:20I pani to wysyła.
01:04:22Tak?
01:04:24Staram się.
01:04:26Zawsze ktoś to za mnie robił.
01:04:28Ja pierwszy raz to robię.
01:04:30Dobrze, kajdanki, więzienie.
01:04:32Ile mogę dostać?
01:04:34Nie, nie. Nie tak zaraz.
01:04:38Wychodzę stamtąd mokra.
01:04:40Nienawidzę siebie, brzydzę się sobą.
01:04:44Przecież nie mam zamiaru
01:04:46okradać państwa.
01:04:48Ja szanuję państwo.
01:04:50Jako strukturę.
01:04:54Odtąd nie ma nic ważniejszego
01:04:56od tych kopert.
01:04:58Muszę je widzieć.
01:05:00Muszę je składać. Muszę.
01:05:04Koperty
01:05:06przychodzą jakoś tak
01:05:08od lutego.
01:05:10Następnego roku.
01:05:14Jedną ręką szukam kluczy.
01:05:16Drugą ręką
01:05:18wyjmuję kopertę.
01:05:20Nie ma kluczy.
01:05:22Nie ma kluczy.
01:05:24Nie ma.
01:05:26Wysypuję wszystko z torebki.
01:05:28Gdzie byłam?
01:05:30Gdzie dzisiaj byłam?
01:05:32W kawiarni.
01:05:34Kawiarnia jest daleko.
01:05:36Może zadzwonię. Może poszukam
01:05:38numeru telefonu, komórka.
01:05:40Nie ma komórki.
01:05:42Nie ma komórki.
01:05:44Nie ma.
01:05:46Nie ma.
01:05:48Nie ma komórki.
01:05:50Nie ma.
01:05:52Nie ma.
01:05:54Nie ma.
01:05:56Nie ma komórki, ale są klucze.
01:05:58Są klucze, ale nie ma komórki.
01:06:00Gdzie byłam?
01:06:02Gdzie dzisiaj byłam? W kawiarni.
01:06:04Kawiarnia jest daleko.
01:06:06Wbijam wszystko do kieszeni płaszcza.
01:06:08Ubijam. Wbijam.
01:06:10Zgniatam. Idę.
01:06:12Ta podróż to jest wyprawa
01:06:14ponad siły.
01:06:16Ból szyi, napięcie karku.
01:06:18Idę. Dochodzę do kawiarni.
01:06:22Dzwoni komórka.
01:06:28W mojej kieszeni.
01:06:34Wszystko się
01:06:38spowalnia jak w filmie.
01:06:44Wrzucam bieg na jedynkę.
01:06:50Inaczej bym zwariowała.
01:06:54Nie odbieram komórki,
01:06:58bo już jestem w autohipnozie.
01:07:04Zamawiam kawę, szarlotkę
01:07:08i tak sobie siedzę.
01:07:10Godzinę albo dwie.
01:07:14W kieszeni czuję
01:07:16zmięty kształt.
01:07:20Zlepek papierów.
01:07:24Taka mazia.
01:07:30Mazia.
01:07:34Dziwne słowo.
01:07:38Dokładnie pasuje
01:07:40do tego czym jest.
01:07:44Bo na przykład
01:07:48słowo łąka
01:07:52nie pasuje do tego czym jest.
01:07:58Łąka jest płaska,
01:08:02a słowo łąka
01:08:06jest okrągłe.
01:08:10Powinno być łaka
01:08:12albo łeka.
01:08:16A mazia
01:08:20bardzo pasuje do mazi.
01:08:26Po powrocie do domu
01:08:30odwieszam płaszcz do szafy.
01:08:34Następnego dnia zakładam inny
01:08:36bo za oknem
01:08:38początek wiosny.
01:08:42Następnego roku
01:08:44urząd skarbowy jest przemeblowany.
01:08:46Takie boksy.
01:08:48Miła urzędniczka,
01:08:50ale blednie
01:08:52patrząc na moje dokumenty.
01:08:54Nikt pani nie rozlicza?
01:08:56Sama to pani robi?
01:08:58Nie.
01:09:00Biuro rachunkowe.
01:09:02Bardzo profesjonalne.
01:09:04Ja im to wszystko oddaję.
01:09:06Ostatniego dnia,
01:09:08ale oddaję.
01:09:10Nie wiem
01:09:12tylko czy wszystko.
01:09:14Ja pani nie powiem, ile pani musi zapłacić.
01:09:16Jaką karę?
01:09:18Ja napiszę to pani
01:09:20na kartce.
01:09:22Podaje mi kartkę
01:09:24z wyrazem
01:09:26popłochu i przerażenia.
01:09:30Przecież ja tu na pewno zemdleję.
01:09:32W każdym razie
01:09:34coś się ze mną stanie.
01:09:36Ta suma jest...
01:09:38Nic się ze mną nie dzieje.
01:09:44Bardziej żal mi tej urzędniczki.
01:09:48Zaciągam pożyczkę w banku.
01:09:54Bardzo dużą pożyczkę.
01:09:58Następnego roku
01:10:00powtarza się to samo.
01:10:08Może pani sobie kupi takie
01:10:10pudło
01:10:12kartonowe.
01:10:14I jak coś przyjdzie pocztą...
01:10:16Niech pani sobie kupi pudło.
01:10:18Wielkie kartonowe pudło.
01:10:20Niech pani sobie kupi pudło.
01:10:22Jak będzie potrzebne, to wiadomo, że tam jest.
01:10:24Mam takie pudło.
01:10:28Największe z możliwych.
01:10:32Czerwone.
01:10:34Żeby się nie stapiało
01:10:36z resztą pokoju.
01:10:38Ale ja go nie widzę.
01:10:44Co to jest?
01:10:50Fundacja DHD?
01:10:54Pan mi przysłał umowę do domu?
01:10:56Pan kurzyrz wyszedł.
01:11:00Przepraszam.
01:11:02Przepraszam.
01:11:06Niech pani weźmie te pieniądze.
01:11:10Pani je znalazła w swoim śmietniku.
01:11:12Nawet na policji
01:11:14to pani powiedzą.
01:11:16Pani śmietnik, pani pieniądze.
01:11:18Pani dobre, normalne,
01:11:20logiczne życie.
01:11:24Ma pani jeszcze pięć minut.
01:11:28To przeczytam list.
01:11:32Przeczytam list.
01:11:38Myślała kiedyś pani o tym,
01:11:42co jest pod pani stopami?
01:11:46Dokładnie w prostej linii.
01:11:48Jakby
01:11:50kupić ogromną wiertarkę
01:11:52i wiercić
01:11:54teraz tutaj, przez całą ziemię.
01:11:56To co tam jest
01:11:58pod spodem?
01:12:02Kolibry?
01:12:04Pustynia?
01:12:08Człowiek chrapie pod kołdro?
01:12:10Ma pani cztery
01:12:12minuty.
01:12:14Przeczytam list.
01:12:24Jest jesień.
01:12:26Ja i moja matka
01:12:28idziemy ulicą tak szybko jak tylko to
01:12:30możliwe, żeby wsiąść
01:12:32do tramwaju, który widać z daleka.
01:12:36Wizyta u psychologa jest
01:12:38zamówiona już dawno.
01:12:40Nie ma innego wyjścia.
01:12:42Po prostu z tym
01:12:44za trudno żyć.
01:12:48Żadna z nas, ani ja, ani mama
01:12:50nie wiemy czym
01:12:52to jest.
01:12:54Przecież pozornie
01:12:56nie różni się niczym
01:12:58od rówieśników.
01:13:00A jednak
01:13:04mama wypytywała inne matki.
01:13:06Nie.
01:13:08To wygląda
01:13:10inaczej.
01:13:12Ich dzieci są trudne.
01:13:14Uciekają
01:13:16z domów, mówią na wszystko.
01:13:18Nie.
01:13:20Ja jestem nawet grzeczna.
01:13:22Tylko
01:13:24emocje.
01:13:26Ponad siły.
01:13:30Na przykład
01:13:32po środku ulicy
01:13:34podarłam na sobie płaszcz,
01:13:36bo fryzjer za krótko
01:13:38obciął mi włosy.
01:13:40Chociaż nie jestem dziewczynką,
01:13:42która przykłada wagę do wyglądu.
01:13:46Tylko wyczuwam łańcuch zdarzeń,
01:13:48który z tego wyniknie.
01:13:50Dlatego ten głupi
01:13:52fakt
01:13:54wyczuwam jak coś
01:13:56kosmicznego.
01:14:02Właśnie.
01:14:04Kosmos.
01:14:08Tak mogę nazwać to,
01:14:12co każe mi jedne rzeczy uznać za ważne,
01:14:16a inne ignorować
01:14:18wbrew logice.
01:14:20Czasem siedzę
01:14:22w pokoju i patrzę w ścianę.
01:14:26Czasem wstaję w środku
01:14:28obiadu i piszę opowiadanie,
01:14:30którego nie rozumiem,
01:14:32a czasem
01:14:34krzyczę
01:14:36do kosmosu.
01:14:40Ten twój
01:14:42kosmiczny ból.
01:14:46Tak to nazywa mama.
01:14:50Więc
01:14:52biegniemy do tramwaju.
01:14:56Już jest blisko.
01:14:58Zaraz będzie na przystanku.
01:15:02I właśnie wtedy
01:15:04ja staję.
01:15:08I moja mama też.
01:15:12Mamo,
01:15:14ja nie chcę iść
01:15:16do tego lekarza.
01:15:18Wiem.
01:15:22Nie chcę,
01:15:24żeby mnie z tego
01:15:26wyleczyli.
01:15:30Wiem.
01:15:32Ja też nie chcę,
01:15:36żeby cię z tego
01:15:38wyleczyli.
01:15:42Tramwaj
01:15:44Odjeżdża
01:16:14Grazie
01:16:26Niech sobie pani kupi pudło
01:16:30Niech sobie pani kupi pudło
01:16:32Niech sobie pani kupi pudło
01:16:34Niech sobie pani kupi?
01:16:36Niech sobie pani kupi takie małe pudełeczko
01:16:38zesprzekli
01:16:40I'd like to buy a small box.
01:17:10I'd like to buy a small box.
01:17:40I'd like to buy a small box.