Ekis daw sa nag-iisang Jackie Castillejos ang mga asawang nagiging co-dependent, kaya goodbye sa mga clingy boys!
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00:00I hang out with a lot of my small close girlfriends and I'm Spanish I'm very
00:10touchy and sometimes I'm misunderstood and I have a little muscle and I'm
00:14flat-chested and so sometimes they tend to think that I'm loose and sometimes I'm not.
00:25Do you also believe that independent women sometimes find it harder to love, to find somebody to love?
00:40Amen to that.
00:41Because you know what you deserve.
00:43You know what you deserve.
00:53The reason that we grow up is that we learn from these mistakes.
00:59We're going to talk for a long time about LALAS.
01:03I'm excited!
01:06You just broke up? You're with somebody?
01:08I'm with someone.
01:09I'm alone by choice.
01:11I'm attached by choice.
01:12I'm happily single.
01:14That's what you call single blessedness.
01:17Yes.
01:18Pinky is the only one I have.
01:20She's the only one who said it today.
01:23How's your love life?
01:26Very happy.
01:27Do you live together or not?
01:29At the moment, yes.
01:31Because I haven't made my own unit yet.
01:33Justified?
01:34Yes.
01:35If it's just us, we should be looking for a place together.
01:39But no, I chose this place on my own.
01:42Still?
01:43Yes.
01:46It's my only assurance.
01:50It's my only insurance of myself.
01:52How do you balance that?
01:53Insurance and assurance.
01:54If something happens, I'm still okay.
01:58How do you balance being independent and having a boyfriend?
02:01Because it's confusing when there's a guy.
02:04It's confusing when there's a guy in your life.
02:07He's lucky because he's kind.
02:09He has a broad mind.
02:11Maybe.
02:12It's true because he didn't grow up here.
02:14Not meaning to say that guys who grew up here don't have a broad mind.
02:17He has a broad mind.
02:19He grew up here.
02:21He's a married man.
02:23He grew up there.
02:25I give him credit because it's hard to be with someone as strong-willed
02:29and as opinionated as a Pinky Amadori.
02:32Exactly.
02:33It takes a lot of...
02:35You should get married, darling.
02:39He's a macho man.
02:41He's a macho man.
02:42He's a real man.
02:43Exactly.
02:44It's possible to be independent even if you have a husband, boyfriend,
02:49even if you're divorced, even if you're separated.
02:53It's still possible.
02:54It's hard.
02:56The problem would be if you become codependent, God forbid,
03:00because then you're clingy, you're like,
03:03You know, like you just stick to him.
03:05Everything, you know, you're nothing.
03:07Apparently, that would turn him off.
03:09Who likes Kulang with no one?
03:11It's a good thing I stopped being Kulang.
03:13Okay.
03:21Go, girl.
03:22Jaraice is officially not a Kulang.
03:25Yay!
03:27Okay.
03:28I hate you, Ram.
03:29I hate you.
03:30You're a waste.
03:31You're a waste.
03:32Because it's true, right?
03:33After all, you've been single for such a long time.
03:35Okay.
03:36You're a waste.
03:37You're a waste.
03:38You're a waste, too.
03:39You're a waste.
03:40It's not even happening.
03:41So...
03:42She's a waste.
03:43She's a waste.
03:44It's a waste to end up with the wrong guy just for the heck of it.
03:47That's a waste.
03:48It's a waste.
03:49Your life will be a waste.
03:50Right?
03:51Your children's life.
03:52Because it's better if you have someone to be with.
03:53Because you want to be with someone, it's not because you're afraid to be alone.
03:55That's what you said.
03:57Right?
03:58You want an English version?
04:00It's more...
04:01For a lot of women, it's the fear of...
04:03It's not really the fear of being alone or surviving alone.
04:06What is it?
04:07It's the fear of the word alone.
04:11Because once you're faced with something like that, you deal with it.
04:14You don't have a choice.
04:15You don't have to deal with it.
04:16It's actually the fear of freedom.
04:18Because you don't know yourself enough and you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.
04:22That's right.
04:23I think that's what it is.
04:24I think that's what it is.
04:25If you really think about it...
04:27On a spiritual level, it brings you closer to the Lord.
04:30Because you're all alone.
04:31It's like, Lord, watch over me.
04:32Because it's just you and him.
04:34Watch over me, God.
04:35Let's face it.
04:36We're brainstormed ever since we're children that the role of a woman...
04:39Absolutely.
04:40...is to bear children.
04:41Exactly.
04:42And it's a role that's high advanced.
04:43And I'm not saying that that is a bad role at all.
04:45Yes.
04:46That is a great role.
04:47But at this day and age, not everything happens at once.
04:49Except the end all and be all.
04:50It's good.
04:51It's good that it happens.
04:52If we never bear children and we never get married,
04:55please don't say we're a waste.
04:57Because I'm sure we can be as productive and as helpful to society.
05:01And reproductive.
05:02We can't.
05:03We don't have a husband.
05:04We can't reproduce.
05:05I have kids.
05:06I have kids.
05:07Exactly.
05:08What kind of man will make you give up your freedom?
05:12He hasn't been born yet.
05:14He does not exist.
05:15The man who will not take my freedom away.
05:16Yeah.
05:17That's the type of man I want.
05:19That's a good one.
05:20Exactly.
05:21Let's hear it.
05:22Let's hear it again.
05:23What about God?
05:24The man I want.
05:25She said, the man that will not give up my freedom.
05:29I want a man who will not take away my freedom.
05:33That's the man I want.
05:35That's the man I want.
05:37Are you out there?
05:38Are you watching?
05:41Are you watching, sweetie?
05:43Do you think men will be intimidated by your strength?
05:48A lot.
05:49We're not that strong.
05:51They're just...
05:53It scares them.
05:55They're independent.
05:56It's true.
05:57They're confident.
05:58It scares them.
05:59Why?
06:00Why do you think it scares them?
06:02Because you'll overpower them easily with the nature of our job.
06:05My God, we're so nice.
06:07We never overpower our men.
06:08There's even times when you meet what they call boys.
06:12Sometimes, they invite me out for coffee or whatever because they would never ask you out.
06:19That's true.
06:20Sometimes, you may call them clueless.
06:22But you can see that they're shy.
06:26It shouldn't be that way.
06:27That's why, somehow, we have to initiate things.
06:30You give them the opportunity to get to know you.
06:32But then, they don't like that because they lose the challenge.
06:35I don't know.
06:36I'm so confused.
06:37Well, the reason being, it's a challenge.
06:40They're not the wimps.
06:44Let's do an episode.
06:45Let's do an episode.
06:46Let's do an episode.
06:47Don't call them.
06:48Don't call them.
06:49Jana, forget about the cell phone number.
06:52Remove the charger.
06:53Remove the charger.
06:54Actually, we're strong from the outside.
06:57But we're actually very giving, I have to admit.
07:00I'm also a pussycat somewhere in there.
07:03No, men think they know us.
07:05They only think that.
07:06Yeah.
07:07They wish they knew us.
07:08I mean, God kill me.
07:09If I have a spine, that's a good thing.
07:11You know, that you have a backbone.
07:13That you have opinions.
07:14That's great.
07:15Some men even have balls, right?
07:17Yeah, they don't have it.
07:18Some are older.
07:19They don't have it physically.
07:21The apron strings of their mother, right?
07:23Mothers' boys.
07:24There's an extra one, right?
07:27Filipino women really tend to baby their men.
07:31That's a bad thing.
07:33Sometimes, you lose yourself.
07:36That's right.
07:37And they feel sorry for the woman they know.
07:39Why do I feel sorry for them?
07:41I also had an episode like that, Janice.
07:44Don't worry.
07:45One thing that every independent woman should know about men.
07:54What women should know about men.
07:59One thing that we should know about men.
08:02That will help us through all our relationships.
08:05I will say one thing which I have learned through the years.
08:10When a man says, I love you.
08:14He wants to have sex with you.
08:17Now, this is what I learned.
08:19You have to take time.
08:21Because you want to make sure it's not just that.
08:24Because it's normally that, baby.
08:26You know what I'm saying?
08:28It looks like you know what you're saying.
08:32I'm serious.
08:33They will say, I love you, at that moment.
08:36Because they want to have sex with you.
08:38And I want to tell the women out there this.
08:40Don't get too excited if he says, I love you, right away.
08:43Check him out.
08:45Make sure.
08:46Feel the water.
08:47That's easy.
08:48How about you?
08:49Don't.
08:50There are a lot of handsome men.
08:53It should be a different episode.
08:54Don't let them run your life.
08:56That's right.
08:57They are deceiving men.
08:59They only want one thing.
09:01I noticed something with Filipinos.
09:04They don't want to be controlled.
09:08You have to give them the muscle control.
09:11The feeling.
09:12The feeling of being in control.
09:14Don't teach them that, Pinky.
09:16That's the muscle of a man.
09:18How good.
09:19You said something else.
09:21Georgina, how about you?
09:24Me?
09:25I'm fine.
09:26I just broke up.
09:27I just broke up.
09:29I'm happy.
09:31We're okay.
09:32We're friends.
09:33But the thing that I've learned.
09:37I lost my disposition for almost four years.
09:41That's what everybody's telling me.
09:43I dumped my friends.
09:45I dumped everybody.
09:46I forgot everything.
09:47You have to go through that.
09:49To learn.
09:50But now I'm back.
09:52I can say.
09:53Don't lose yourself.
09:55Can you speak for us women?
09:56That I think that there is fulfillment beyond men.
10:02There is.
10:03And you know what, me?
10:04Do not look to men for your happiness.
10:07You enrich your soul on your own.
10:10And then, you find the men.
10:12They will even come to you.
10:14You will not come to me right now.
10:16Eventually, they will.
10:18Especially if they're going to be single forever.
10:20You'll just stay there.
10:22Sis, why do you think it's scarce?
10:24Sometimes, I feel ashamed to let them go out for coffee or whatever.
10:29Because they would never ask you out.
10:31That's true.
10:32Sometimes, you make them feel clueless.
10:34But no.
10:35You can see that they're ashamed of you.
10:37Intimidated.
10:38When it shouldn't be that way.
10:49Let's ask our guests of Independent Women.
10:53Let's start with Dali.
10:54What are you asking?
10:55What are you asking?
10:57At this point, there's nothing that I can ask.
10:59Maybe a husband.
11:00But it's not really a priority.
11:02I've been married once.
11:03So, it's better to be alone.
11:06Loner.
11:08Better off alone, as the song goes.
11:10Oh, my God.
11:11Well, I would love to be married someday.
11:13Believe it or not.
11:14It doesn't…
11:15Oh, Mom.
11:16You won't be jaded because after all these years.
11:18Oh, absolutely not.
11:20No.
11:21But if not, I'm also content right now, too.
11:25Miss Pinky.
11:27I don't know.
11:30Guess one.
11:31A big, fat boy.
11:35Okay.
11:36A big, fat boy.
11:37Marriage plans?
11:39We're still talking about it.
11:40But we're still preparing for that.
11:41But you're ready.
11:43We're still preparing.
11:45Emotionally.
11:46Emotionally.
11:47Of course.
11:48But emotions is the easiest part.
11:52Really?
11:53Of course.
11:54That's the easiest part.
11:55What about giving up your independence?
11:57Because you will still be independent.
12:01That's an issue.
12:03I don't know where I'm going to live.
12:07No, no.
12:08If here in the Philippines.
12:09That's right.
12:10So, if not in the Philippines,
12:12for example, in another country,
12:14what am I going to do there?
12:15That's it.
12:16You're an international star.
12:18No.
12:19No, nothing.
12:20Like Pinky, you would have to quit your career.
12:22That's part of the preparation.
12:24That's part of the issue.
12:25That's it.
12:26That's it.
12:27That's why those issues need to be solved first.
12:31More work and more boys to come.
12:35Yes, girl!
12:38Do you feel growing old alone?
12:40Pardon me?
12:41Growing old alone?
12:42If I fear?
12:43Yes.
12:44Because it's not good for you, right?
12:46You know?
12:47What if?
12:48I'm not saying that that's what's going to happen.
12:51But what if?
12:52Well, me, I fear that, to be honest.
12:54Because if you don't have children,
12:56which, you know, I'm a bit worried, right?
12:58No children, no husband.
13:00You're really alone.
13:01Because your parents are a lot older.
13:03I'm the eldest girl.
13:04That's right.
13:05So, I'm thinking, I'm just praying to God,
13:07if He's meant for me to be alone,
13:09just to take me before I lose control of my bowels.
13:14No, at least I don't burden anybody.
13:16Right?
13:17Because it's embarrassing.
13:18And you're also having a hard time.
13:20That's right.
13:21So, I'm just praying to God,
13:22if you want me to be alone,
13:23before I lose control of my bowels,
13:25let me check on you.
13:26Just a while ago,
13:27you had your bowels,
13:28what's with you, girl?
13:30No, I'm just being honest.
13:31Oh, it's a jockey.
13:32Is it true that you get frustrated
13:35with the way the industry treats matured actresses?
13:39Is that true?
13:40You, you too, right?
13:42It's a global problem.
13:45I think aging actresses get very little work
13:48as compared to aging actors,
13:50men actors.
13:52Well, I think that could also be a problem here in the Philippines
13:54because here,
13:57there are very few female actors.
14:00But mostly, in the storylines,
14:02unlike in other countries,
14:04you have people like Gordy Weaver,
14:06he's been in Alien 3 for a few years now.
14:07Alien 3?
14:08Yes.
14:09But you know,
14:10they've been in it for a long time.
14:12It's only now,
14:13because they are forming their own production companies,
14:15they are directing the women themselves,
14:17writing stories.
14:18But ever since,
14:19I mean,
14:20older women actresses abroad
14:21have still had a longer lifespan.
14:23As compared to you.
14:24This is not that long.